Chapter 54 of the Adventures of Peregrine Pickle, Volume 1. This is a LibriVox recording. All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain. For more information or to volunteer, please visit LibriVox.org. Recording by Martin Geethan. The Adventures of Peregrine Pickle, Volume 1, by Tobias Smollett. Chapter 54. He makes another effort towards the accomplishment of his wish, which is postponed by a strange accident. He directed his valet de chambre, who was a thorough-paced pimp, to kindle some straw in the yard, and then pass by the door of her apartment, crying with a loud voice that the house was on fire. This alarm brought both ladies out of their chamber in a moment, and Peregrine, taking advantage of their running to the street door, entered the room, concealed himself under a large table that stood in an unobserved corner. The nymphs, as soon as they understood the cause of his mercuries' supposed affright, returned to their apartment, and having said their prayers, undressed themselves and went to bed. This scene, which fell under the observation of Pickle, did not at all contribute to the cooling of his concupiscence, but, on the contrary, inflamed him to such a degree that he could scarce restrain his impatience, until, by her breathing deep, he concluded the fellow lodger of his Amanda was asleep. This welcome note no sooner saluted his ears than he crept to his charmer's bedside, and placing himself on his knees, gently laid hold on her white hand and pressed it to his lips. She had just begun to close her eyes, and enjoyed the agreeable oppression of slumber, when she was roused by this rape, at which she started, pronouncing in a tone of surprise and dismay, my God, who's that? The lover with the most insinuating humility, besorted to hear him, vowing that his intention in approaching her thus was not to violate the laws of decency, or that indelible esteem which she had engraved on his heart, but to manifest his sorrow and contrition for the umbrage he had given, to pour forth the overflowing of his soul, and tell her that he neither could nor would survive her displeasure. These and many more pathetic protestations accompanied with sighs and tears and other expressions of grief, which our hero had at command, could not fail to melt the tender heart of the Fleming, already pre-possessed in favour of his qualifications. She sympathised so much with his affliction as to weep in her turn, when she represented the impossibility of her rewarding his passion, and he, seizing the moment, reinforced his solicitations with such irresistible transports that her resolution gave way. She began to breathe quick, expressed her fear of being overheard by the other lady, with an ejaculation of, oh heavens, I'm undone. Suffered him after a faint struggle to make a lodgement upon the covered way of her bed. Her honour, however, was secured for the present by a strange sort of knocking upon the wane-skirt at the other end of the room, hard by the bed in which the female adventurer lay. Surprised at this circumstance, the lady begged him for heaven's sake to retreat, or her reputation would be ruined forever. But when he represented to her that her character would run a much greater risk if he should be detected in withdrawing, she consented with great trepidation to his stay, and they listened in silence to the sequel of the noise that alarmed them. This was no other than an expedient of the painter to awaken his dulcinea, with whom he had made an assignation, or at least interchanged such signals as he thought amounted to a firm appointment. His nymph, being disturbed in her first sleep, immediately understood the sound, and true to the agreement rose, and unbolting the door as softly as possible gave him admittance, leaving it open for his more commodious retreat. While this happy galant was employed in disengaging himself from the des Abis in which he had entered, the Capuchin, suspecting that a peregrine would make another attempt upon his charge, had crept silently to the apartment in order to reconnoitre, lest the adventure should be achieved without his knowledge, a circumstance that would deprive him of the profits he might expect from his privity and concurrence. Finding the door unlatched, his suspicion was confirmed, and he made no scruple of creeping into the chamber on all four, so that the painter, having stripped himself to the shirt, in groping about for his dulcinea's bed, chanced to lay his hand upon the shaven crown of the father's head, which by a circular motion the priest began to turn round in his grasp, like a ball in the socket, to the surprise and consternation of poor pallet, who neither having penetration to comprehend the case, nor resolution to withdraw his fingers from this strange object of his touch, stood sweating in the dark, inventing ejaculations with great devotion. The friar, tired with his exercise and the painful posture in which he stooped, raised himself gradually upon his feet, heaving up at the same time the hand of the painter, whose terror and amazement increased to such a degree at this unaccountable elevation that his faculties began to fail, and his palm, in the confusion of his fright, sliding over the priest's forehead, one of his fingers happened to slip into his mouth, and was immediately secured between the capuchin's teeth, with as firm a fixture as if it had been screwed in a blacksmith's vice. The painter was so much disordered by this sudden snap, which tortured him to the bone, that, forgetting all other considerations, he wrought aloud, murder, attire, attrap, attrap, help, Christians, for the love of God, help. Our hero, confounded by these exclamations, which he knew would soon fill the room with spectators, and incensed at his own mortifying disappointment, was obliged to quit the untasted banquet, and approaching the cause of his misfortune, just as his tormentor had thought proper to release his finger, discharged such a hearty slap between his shoulders, as brought him to the ground with hideous bellowing. Then, retiring unperceived to his own chamber, was one of the first who returned with a light, on pretense of having been alarmed with his cries. The capuchin had taken the same precaution, and followed Peregrine into the room, pronouncing benedicte, and crossing himself with many marks of astonishment. The physician and jolter appearing at the same time, the unfortunate painter was found lying naked on the floor in all the agony of horror and dismay, blowing upon his left hand that hung dangling from the elbow. The circumstance of his being found in that apartment and the attitude of his affliction, which was extremely ridiculous, provoked the doctor to a smile, and produced a small relaxation in the severity of the governor's countenance. While Pickle, testifying his surprise and concern, lifted him from the ground and inquired into the cause of his present situation. Having, after some recollection and fruitless endeavours to speak, recovered the use of his tongue, he told them that the house was certainly haunted by evil spirits, by which he had been conveyed he knew not how, into that apartment, and afflicted with all the tortures of hell, that one of them had made itself sensible to his feeling in the shape of a round ball of smooth flesh, which turned round under his hand like an astronomer's globe, and then rising up to a surprising height was converted into a machine that laid hold on his finger by a snap, and having pinned him to the spot, he continued for some moments in unspeakable agony. At last he said the engine seemed to melt away from his finger, and he received a sudden thwack upon his shoulders, as if discharged by the arm of a giant, which overthrew him in an instant upon the floor.  Jolter, imagining that pallet was drunk, shook his head, saying he believed the spirit was nowhere but in his own brain. The physician for once condescended to be a wag, and looking towards one of the beds, observed that in his opinion the painter had been misled by the flesh and not by the spirit. The fair Fleming lay in silent astonishment and a fright, and her fellow, in order to acquit herself of all suspicion, exclaimed with incredible volubility against the author of this uproar, who she did not doubt had concealed himself in the apartment with the view of perpetuating some wicked attempt upon her precious virtue, and was punished and prevented by the immediate interposition of heaven. At her desire, therefore, and at the earnest solicitation of the other lady, he was conducted to his own bed, and the chamber being evacuated, they locked their door, fully resolved to admit no more visitants for that night, while Peregrine, mad with seeing the delicious morsel snatched as it were from his very lip, stalked through the passage like a ghost, in hope of finding some opportunity of re-entering. Till the day beginning to break, he was obliged to retire, cursing the idiotical conduct of the painter, which had so unluckily interfered with his delight. End of Chapter 54 Recording by Martin Geeson in Hazelmere Surrey Chapter 55 of the Adventures of Peregrine Pickle Volume 1 This is a LibriVox recording. All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain. For more information or to volunteer, please visit LibriVox.org Recording by Martin Geeson The Adventures of Peregrine Pickle Volume 1 by Tobias Smollett Chapter 55 They depart from Ghent. Our hero engages in a political dispute with his mistress, whom he offends and pacifies with submission. He practices an expedience to detain the carriage at a lost and confirms the priest in his interest. Next day, about one o'clock, having seen everything remarkable in town and been present at the execution of two youths who were hanged for ravishing a whore, they took their departure from Ghent in the same carriage which had brought them thither. And the conversation turning upon the punishment they had seen inflicted, the Flemish beauty expressed great sympathy and compassion for the unhappy sufferers, who, as she had been informed, had fallen victims to the malice of the accuser. Ascentiments were espoused by all the company, except the French lady of pleasure, who, thinking the credit of the sisterhood concerned in the affair, bitterly invade against the profligacy of the age, and particularly the base and villainous attempts of man upon the chastity of the weaker sex, saying, with the look of indignation directed to the painter, that for her own part she should never be able to manifest the acknowledgement she owed to Providence for having protected her last night from the wicked aims of unbridled lust. This observation introduced a series of jokes at the expense of Pallet, who hung his ears and sat with the silent air of dejection, fearing that through the malevolence of the physician, his adventure might reach the ears of his wife. Indeed, though we have made shift to explain the whole transaction to the reader, it was an inextricable mystery to every individual in the diligence, because the part which was acted by the Capuchin was known to himself alone, and even he was utterly ignorant of pickles being concerned in the affair, so that the greatest share of the painter's sufferings were supposed to be the exaggerations of his own extravagant imagination. In the midst of their discourse on this extraordinary subject, the driver told them that they were now on the very spot where a detachment of the Allied Army had been intercepted and cut off by the French, and stopping the vehicle entertained them with the local description of the battle of Mel. Upon this occasion, the Flemish lady, who since her marriage had become a keen partisan for the French, gave a minute detail of all the circumstances as they had been represented to her by her husband's brother, who was in the action. This account, which sunk the number of the French to 16 and raised that of the Allies to 20,000 men, was so disagreeable to truth, as well as to the laudable partiality of Peregrine, that he ventured to contradict her assertions and a fierce dispute commenced that not only regarded the present question, but also comprehended all the battles in which the Duke of Marlborough had commanded against Louis XIV. In the course of these debates, she divested the great general of all the glory he had acquired by affirming that every victory he gained was purposely lost by the French in order to bring the schemes of Madame de Mantonot into this credit. And as a particular instance alleged that while the Citadel of Lille was besieged, Louis said in presence of the Dauphin that if the Allies should be obliged to raise the siege, he would immediately declare his marriage with that lady, upon which the sun sent private orders to Marshal Boufflère to surrender the place. This strange allegation was supported by the a separation of the priest and the courtesan and admitted as truth by the governor, who pretended to have heard it from good authority, while the doctor sat neutral, as one who thought it scandalous to know the history of such modern events. The Israelite, being a true Dutchman, listed himself under the banners of our hero, who in attempting to demonstrate the absurdity and improbability of what they had advanced, raised such a hue and cry against himself, and being insensibly heated in the altercation irritated his Amanda to such a degree that her charming eyes kindled with fury, and he saw great reason to think that if he did not fall upon some method to deprecate her wrath, she would in a twinkling sacrifice all her esteem for him to her own zeal for the glory of the French nation. Moved by this apprehension, his ardour cooled by degrees, and he insensibly detached himself from the argument, leaving the whole care of supporting it to the Jew, who, finding himself deserted, was feigned to yield at discretion, so that the French remained masters of the field, and their young heroine resumed her good humour. Our hero, having prudently submitted to the superior intelligence of his fair and slaver, began to be harassed with the fears of losing her forever, and set his invention at work to contrive some means of indemnifying himself for his acidity's presence and the disappointment he had already undergone. On pretence of enjoying a free air, he mounted the box, and employed his elocution and generosity with such success that the driver undertook to disable the diligence from proceeding beyond the town of Alost for that day, and in consequence of his promise, gently overturned it when they were but a mile short of that baiting place. He had taken his measure so discreetly that this accident was attended with no other inconvenience than a fit of fear that took possession of the ladies, and the necessity to which they were reduced by the declaration of the coachman, who upon examining the carriage assured the company that the axel tree had given way, and advised them to walk forward to the inn, while he would jog after them at a slow pace and do his endeavour that the damage should be immediately repaired. Peregrine pretended to be very much concerned at what had happened, and even cursed the driver for his inadvertency, expressing infinite impatience to be at Brussels, and wishing that this misfortune might not detain them another night upon the road. But when his understrapper, according to his instructions, came afterwards to the inn and gave them to understand that the workman he had employed could not possibly refit the machine in less than six hours, the crafty youth affected to lose all temper, stormed at his emissary, whom he reviled in the most appropriate terms, and threatened to cane for his misconduct. The fellow protested with great humility that their being overturned was owing to the failure of the axel tree, and not to his want of care or dexterity in driving, though rather than be thought the cause of incommoding him, he would inquire for a post chairs in which he might depart for Brussels immediately. This expedient pickle rejected, unless the whole company could be accommodated in the same manner, and he had been previously informed by the driver that the town could not furnish more than one vehicle of that sort. His governor, who was quite ignorant of his scheme, represented that one night would soon be passed, and exhorted him to bear this small disappointment with a good grace, especially as the house seemed to be well provided for their entertainment, and the company so much disposed to be sociable. The capuchin, who had found his account in cultivating the acquaintance of the young stranger, was not ill pleased at this event, which might by protracting the term of their intercourse yield him some opportunity of profiting still farther by his liberality. He therefore joined Mr. Jolter in his admonitions, congratulating himself upon the prospect of enjoying his conversation a little longer than he had expected. Our young gentleman received a compliment to the same purpose from the Hebrew, who had that day exercised his gallantry upon the French Coquette, and was not without hope of reaping the fruit of his attention. His rival, the painter, being quite disgraced and dejected by the adventure of last night. As for the doctor, he was too much engrossed in the contemplation of his own importance to interest himself in the affair or its consequences, further than by observing that the European powers ought to establish public games, like those that were celebrated a bold in Greece, in which case every state would be supplied with such dexterous charioteers as would drive a machine at full speed within a hair's breadth of a precipice, without any danger it's being overturned. Peregrine could not help yielding to their remonstrances and united complacence, for which he thanked them in very polite terms, and his passion seeming to subside proposed that they should amuse themselves in walking round the ramparts. He hoped to enjoy some private conversation with his admired Fleming, who had the whole day behaved with remarkable reserve. The proposal being embraced, he as usual handed her into the street, and took all opportunities of promoting his suit. But they were attended so closely by her father, Confessor, that he foresaw it would be impracticable to accomplish his aim without the connivance of that ecclesiastic. This he was obliged to purchase with another purse, which he offered and was accepted as a charitable atonement for his criminal behavior during the interview which the friar had procured for the good of his soul. The benefaction was no sooner made, than the mendicant edged off little and little, till he joined the rest of the company, leaving his generous patron at full liberty to prosecute his purpose. It is not to be doubted that our adventurer made a good use of this occasion, he practiced a thousand flowers of rhetoric, and actually exhausted his whole address in persuading her to have compassion upon his misery and indulge him with another private audience, without which he should run distracted and be guilty of extravagances which in the humanity of her disposition she would weep to see. But instead of complying with his request, she chid him severely for his presumption in persecuting her with his vicious addresses. She assured him that although she had secured a chamber for herself in this place, because she had no ambition to be better acquainted with the other lady, he would be in the wrong to disturb her with another nocturnal visit, for she was determined to deny him admittance. The lover was comforted by this hint which he understood in the true acceptation, and his passion being inflamed by the obstacles he had met with, his heart beat high with the prospect of possession. These raptures of expectation produced an inquiritude which disabled him from bearing that share of the conversation for which he used to be distinguished. His behaviour at supper was a vicissitude of startings and reveries. The capuchin, imputing the behaviour to a second repulse from his charge, began to be invaded with the apprehension of being obliged to refund and in a whisper for bad our hero to despair. End of Chapter 55. Recording by Martin Giesen in Hazelmere Surrey. Chapter 56 of the Adventures of Peregrine Pickle, Volume 1. This is a LibriVox recording. All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain. For more information or to volunteer, please visit LibriVox.org. Recording by Martin Giesen. The Adventures of Peregrine Pickle, Volume 1 by Tobias Smollett. Chapter 56. The French Coquette entraps the heart of the Jew against whom Pallet enters into a conspiracy by which Peregrine is again disappointed and the Hebrews in continents exposed. Meanwhile the French siren balked in her design upon her English culley, who was so easily disheartened and hung his ears in manifest despondents rather than run the risk of making a voyage that should be altogether unprofitable, resolved to practice her charms upon the Dutch merchant. She had already made such innovation upon his heart, but he cultivated her with peculiar complacency, gazed upon her with a most libidinous stare and unbended his aspect into a grin that was truly Israelite-ish. The painter saw and was offended at this correspondence which he considered as an insult upon his misfortune, as well as an evident preference of his rival and conscious of his own timidity swallowed an extraordinary glass that his invention might be stimulated and his resolution raised to the contrivance and execution of some scheme of revenge. The wine failed in the expected effect and without inspiring him with the plan served only to quicken his desire of vengeance, so that he communicated his purpose to his friend Peregrine and begged his assistance. But our young gentleman was too intent upon his own affair to mind the concerns of any other person, and he declining to be engaged in the project, pallet had recourse to the genius of Pickles Ballet de Chambre, who readily embarked in the undertaking and invented a plan which was executed accordingly. The evening being pretty far advanced and the company separated into their respective apartments, Pickles repaired in all the impatience of youth and desire to the chamber of his Chambre and finding the door unbolted entered in a transport of joy. By the light of the room which shone through the window, he was conducted to her bed, which he approached in the utmost agitation, and perceiving her to all appearance asleep, essayed to wake her with a gentle kiss. But this method proved ineffectual because she was determined to save herself the confusion of being an accomplice in his guilt. He repeated the application, murmured a most passionate salutation in her ear, and took such other gentle methods of signifying his presence as persuaded him that she was resolved to sleep in spite of all his endeavors. Flushed with this supposition, he locked the door in order to prevent interruption and stealing himself under the clothes set fortune at defiance while he held the fair creature circled in his arms. Nevertheless, near as he seemed to be to the happy accomplishment of his desire, his hope was again frustrated with a fearful noise which in a moment awaked his Amanda in a fright and for the present engaged all his attention. His valet de chambre whom Pallet had consulted as a confederate in his revenge against the lady of pleasure and her gallant had hired of certain bohemians who chanced to lodge at the inn a jackass adorned with bells which when everybody was retired to rest and the Hebrew supposed to be bedded with his mistress, they led upstairs into a long thoroughfare from which the chambers were detached on each side. The painter perceiving the lady's door a jar according to his expectation mounted this animal with intention to ride into the room and disturb the lovers in the midst of their mutual endeaments. But the ass true to its kind finding himself best rid by an unknown rider instead of advancing in obedience to his conductor retreated backward to the other end of the passage in spite of all the efforts of the painter who spurred and kicked and pummeled to no purpose. It was the noise of this contention between Pallet and the ass which invaded the ears of Peregrine and his mistress neither of whom could form the least rational conjecture about the cause of such strange disturbance which increased as the animal approached their apartment. At length the Burik's retrograde motion was obstructed by the door which it forced open in a twinkling with one kick and entered with such complication of sound as terrified the lady almost into a fit and through her lover into the utmost perplexity and confusion. The painter finding himself thus violently intruded into the bed chamber of he knew not whom and dreading the resentment of the possessor who might discharge a pistol at him as a robber who had broken into his apartment was overwhelmed with consternation and redoubled his exertion to accomplish a speedy retreat sweating all the time with fear and putting up petition to heaven for his safety but his obstinate companion regardless of his situation instead of submitting to his conduct began to turn round like a millstone the united sound of his feet and bells producing a most surprising concert. The unfortunate rider whirling about in this manner would have quitted his seat and left the beast to his own amusement but the rotation was so rapid that the terror of a severe fall hindered him from attempting to dismount and in the desperation of his heart he seized one of his ears which he pinched so unmercifully that the creature set up his throat and braid aloud this hideous exclamation was no sooner heard by the fair Fleming already chilled with panic and prepared superstition then believing herself visited by the devil who was permitted to punish her for her infidelity to the marriage bed she uttered a scream and began to repeat her Paternoster with a loud voice a lover finding himself under the necessity of retiring started up and stung with the most violent pangs of rage and disappointment ran directly to the spot from whence this diabolical noise seemed to proceed. They're encountering the ass he discharged such a volley of blows at him and his rider that the creature carried him off at a round trot and they roared in unison all the way having thus cleared the room of such disagreeable company he went back to his mistress and assuring her that this was only some foolish prank of palette took his leave with a promise of returning after the quiet of the in should be re-established in the mean time the noise of the Burik the cries of the painter and the lady's scream had alarmed the whole house and the ass in the precipitation of his retreat seeing people with lights before him took shelter in the apartment for which he was at first designed just as the Levite aroused at the uproar had quitted his dulciner and was attempting to recover his own chamber unperceived seeing himself opposed by such an animal mounted by a tall meager lantern jawed figure half-naked with a white nightcap upon his head which added to the natural paleness of his complexion the Jew was sorely troubled in mind and believing it to be an apparition of Balam and his ass flew backward with a nimble pace and crept under the bed where he lay concealed Mr. Jolter and the priest who were the foremost of those who had been aroused by the noise were not unmoved when they saw such a mystical rushing into the chamber whence the lady of pleasure began to shriek the governor made a full halt when the Capuchin discovered no inclination to proceed they were however by the pressure of the crowd that followed them thrust forward to the door through which the vision entered and there Jolter with great ceremony complimented his reverence with the pa beseaching him to walk in the mendicant was too courteous and humble to accept his preeminence and a very earnest dispute ensued during which the ass in the course of his circuit showed himself and rider and in a trice decided the contest or struck with his second glimpse both that one instance sprang backward with such force as overturned their next men who communicated the impulse to those that stood behind them and these again to others so that the whole passage was strewed with a long file of people that lay in a line like the sequel and dependence of a pack of cards in the midst of this havoc our hero returned from his own room with an air of astonishment asking the cause of this uproar receiving such hints of intelligence as jolt as consternation would permit him to give he snatched the candle out of his hand and advanced into the haunted chamber without hesitation being followed by all present who broke forth into a long loud peel of laughter when they perceived the ludicrous source of their disquiet the painter himself made an effort to join their mirth but he had been so harrowed by fear and smarted so much with the pain of the discipline he had received from Pickle that he could not with all his endeavors vanquished the roofleness of his countenance his attempt served only to increase the awkwardness of his situation which was not at all mended by the behavior of the who furious with her disappointment slipped on a petticoat and bed gown and springing upon him like mother heckuber with her nails deprived all one side of his nose of the skin and would not have left him an eye to see through if some of the company had not rescued him from her unmerciful talons provoked at this outrage as well as by her behavior to him in the diligence he publicly explained his intention in entering her chamber in this equipage and missing the Hebrew among the spectators assured them that he must have absconded somewhere in the apartment in pursuance of this intimation the room was immediately searched and the mortified Levite pulled up by the heels from his lurking place so that pallet had the good fortune at last to transfer the laugh from himself to his rival and the French in Amorata who accordingly underwent the ridicule of the whole audience end of chapter 56 recording by Martin Geeson in Hazel Mayor Surrey chapter 57 of the adventures of Peregrine Pickle volume one this is a LibriVox recording all LibriVox recordings are in the public domain for more information or to volunteer please visit LibriVox start org recording by Martin Geeson the adventures of Peregrine Pickle volume one by Tobias Smollett chapter 57 pallet endeavoring to unravel the mystery of the treatment he had received falls out of the frying pan into the fire nevertheless pallet was still confounded and chagrined by one consideration which was no other than that of his having been so roughly handled in the chamber belonging as he found upon inquiry to the handsome young lady who is under the Capuchin's direction he recollected that the door was fast locked when his beast burst it open and he had no reason to believe that any person followed him in his inruption on the other hand he could not imagine that such a gentle creature would either attempt to commit or be able to execute such a desperate assault as that which his body had sustained and her demeanor was so modest and modest not harbour the least suspicion of her virtue these reflections bewildered him in the labyrinth of thought he rummaged his whole imagination endeavouring to account for what had happened at length he concluded that either Peregrine nor the devil or both must have been at the bottom of the whole affair and determined for the satisfaction of his curiosity to watch our heroes motions during the remaining part of the night and narrowly that his conduct mysterious as it was should not be able to elude his penetration with these sentiments he retired to his own room after the ass had been restored to the right owners and the priest had visited and comforted his fair ward who had been almost distracted with fear silence no sooner prevailed again than he crawled darkling towards her door and huddled himself up in an obscure corner whence he might observe the ingress or egress of any human creature he had not long remained in this posture when fatigued with this adventure and that of the preceding night his faculties were gradually overpowered with slumber and falling fast asleep he began to snore like a whole congregation of Presbyterians the Flemish beauty hearing this discordant noise in the passage and very prudently bolted her door so that when her lover wanted to repeat his visit he was not only surprised and incensed at this disagreeable serenade the author of which he did not know but when compelled by his passion which was by this time wound to the highest pitch he ventured to approach the entrance he had the extreme mortification to find himself shut out he durst not knock or signify his presence in any other on account of the lady's reputation which would have greatly suffered had the snorer been waked by his endeavors had he known that the person who thus thwarted his views was the painter he would have taken some effectual step to remove him but he could not conceive what should induce pallet to take up his residence in that corner nor could he use the assistance of a light to distinguish him because there was not a candle burning in the house it is impossible to describe the rage and vexation of our hero while he continued thus tantalized upon the brink of bliss after his desire had been exasperated by the circumstances of his former disappointments he ejaculated a thousand execrations against his own fortune cursed all his fellow travellers without exception vowed revenge against the painter who had twice confounded his most interesting scheme and was tempted to execute the immediate vengeance upon the unknown cause of his present miscarriage in this agony of distraction did he sweat two whole hours in the passage though not without some faint hope of being delivered from his tormentor who he imagined upon waking would undoubtedly shift his quarters and leave the field free to his designs but when he heard the cock repeat his salutation to the morn which began to open on the rear of night he could no longer restrain his indignation going to his own chamber he filled the basin with cold water and standing at some distance discharged it full in the face of the gaping snorer who over and above the surprise occasioned by the application was almost suffocated by the liquor that entered his mouth and ran down into his windpipe while he gasped like a person half drowned without knowing the nature of his disaster or remembering the situation in which he fell asleep Peregrine retired to his own door and to his no small astonishment from a long howl that invaded his ears learned that the patient was no other than pallet who had now for the third time balked his good fortune enraged at the complicated trespasses of this unfortunate offender he rushed from his apartment with a horse whip and encountering the painter in his flight overturned him in the passage there he exercised the instrument of his wrath with great severity on pretence of mistaking him for some presumptuous cur who would disturb the repose of the inn nay when he called a lad for mercy in a supplicating tone and his chastiser could no longer pretend to treat him as a quadruped such was the virulence of the young gentleman's indignation that he could not help declaring his satisfaction by telling pallet he had rich reserved the punishment he had undergone for his madness folly and impertinence in contriving and executing such idle schemes that had no other tendency than that of plaguing his neighbors pallet protested with great vehemence that he was innocent as the child unborn of an intention to give umbridge to any person whatever except the Israelite and his doxy who he knew had incurred his displeasure but as God is my saviour said he I believe I am persecuted with witchcraft and begin to think that damned priest as an agent of the devil for he has been but two nights in our company during which I have not closed an eye but on the contrary have been tormented by all the fiends of hell Pickle peevishly replied that his torments had been occasioned by his own foolish imagination and asked how he came to howl in that corner who did not think proper to own the truth said that he had been transported there by some preter natural conveyance and soused in water by an invisible hand the youth in hope of profiting by his absence advised him to retire immediately to his bed and by sleep strive to comfort his brain which seemed to be not a little disordered by the want of that refreshment pallet himself began to be very much of the same way of thinking and in compliance with such wholesome counsel betock himself to rest muttering prayers all the way for the recovery of his own understanding Pickle attended into his chamber and locking him up put the key in his own pocket that he might not have it in his power to interrupt him again but in his return he was met by Mr. Jolter and the doctor who had been a second time alarmed by the painters cries and came to inquire about this new adventure half frantic with such a series of disappointments he cursed them in his heart for their unseasonable appearance when they questioned him about pallet he told them he had found him stark staring mad howling in a corner and wet to the skin and conducted into his room where he was now a bed the physician hearing this circumstance made a merit of his vanity and under pretense of concern for the patient's welfare desired he might have an opportunity of examining the symptoms of his disorder without loss of time alleging that many diseases might have been stifled in the birth which afterwards baffled all the endeavors of the medical art the young gentlemen accordingly delivered the key and once more withdrew into his own chamber with a view of seizing the first occasion that should present itself of renewing his application to his Amanda's door while the doctor in his way to pellets apartment hinted to the governor his suspicion that the patient labored under that dreadful symptom called the hydrophobia which he observed had sometimes appeared in persons who were not previously bit by a mad dog this conjecture he founded upon the howl he uttered when he was sourced with water and began to recollect certain circumstances of the painter's behavior for some days past which now he could plainly perceive had prognosticated some such calamity he then ascribed the distemper to the violent fights he had lately undergone affirming that the affair of the Bastille had made such a violent encroachment upon his understanding that his manner of thinking and speaking was entirely altered by a theory of his own invention he explained the effects of fear upon a loose system of nerves and demonstrated the modus in which the animal spirits operate upon the ideas and power of imagination this disquisition which was communicated at the painter's door might have lasted till breakfast had not jolted reminded him of his own maxim when he enti occurrite morbo upon which he put the key to immediate use and they walked softly towards the bed where the patient lay extended at full length in the arms of sleep the physician took notice of his breathing hard and his mouth being open and from these diagnostics declared that the liquid um nervousum was intimately affected and the saliva impregnated with the speculated particles of the virus how so ever contracted this sentence was still further confirmed by the state of his pulse which being full and slow indicated an oppressed circulation from a loss of elasticity in the propelling arteries he proposed that he should immediately suffer a second dispersion of water which would not only contribute to the cure but also certify them beyond all possibility of doubt with regard to the state of the disease for it would evidently appear from the manner in which he would bear the application whether or not his horror of water amounted to a confirmed hydrophobia Mr. Jolter in compliance with this proposal began to empty a bottle of water which he found in the room in a basin when he was interrupted by the prescriber who advised him to use the contents of the chamber pot which being impregnated with salt would operate more effectively than pure element thus directed the governor lifted up the vessel which was replete with medicine and with one turn of his hand discharged the whole healing inundation upon the elomant patient who waking in the utmost distraction of horror yelled most hideously just at the time when perikin had brought his mistress to a parley and entertained hopes of being admitted into her chamber terrified at this exclamation she instantly broke off the treaty beseeching him to retire from the door that her onomite received no injury from his being found in that place and he had just enough of recollection left to see the necessity of obeying the order in conformity to which he retreated well-nigh deprived of his senses and almost persuaded that so many unaccountable disappointments must have proceeded from some supernatural cause of which the idiot pallet was no more than the involuntary instrument meanwhile the doctor having ascertained the malady of the patient whose cry is interrupted by frequent sobs and sighs he interpreted into the barking of a dog and having no more salt water at hand resolved to renew the bath with such materials as chance would afford he actually laid hold of the bottle and basin but by this time the painter had recovered the use of his senses so well as to perceive his drift and starting up like a frantic bedlamite ran directly to his sword swearing with many horrid implications that he would murder them both immediately if he should be hanged before dinner they did not choose to wait the issue of his threat but retired with such precipitation that the physician had almost dislocated his shoulder by running against one side of the entry jolter having pulled the door after him and turned the key he took himself to flight roaring aloud for assistance his colleague seeing the door secured valued himself upon his resolution and exhorted him to return declaring that for his own part he was more afraid of the Madman's teeth than of his weapon and admonishing the governor to re-enter and execute what they had left undone go in said he without fear or apprehension and if any accident shall happen to you either from his slobber or his sword I will assist you with my advice which from this station I can more coolly and distinctly administer then I should be able to supply if my ideas were disturbed or my attention engaged in any personal concern jolter who could make no objection to the justness of the conclusion frankly owned that he had no inclination to try the experiment observing that self-preservation was the first law of nature that his connections with the unhappy lunatic were but slight and that it could not be reasonably expected that he would run such risks for his service as were declined by one who had set out with him from England on the footing of a companion this insinuation introduced a dispute upon the nature of benevolence and the moral sense which the Republican argued existed independent of any private consideration and could never be affected by any contingent circumstance of time and fortune while the other who abhorred his principles asserted the duties and excellence of private friendship with infinite ranker of altercation during the hottest of the argument they were joined by the Capuchin who being astonished to see them thus virulently engaged at the door and to hear the painter bellowing within the chamber conjured them in the name of God to tell him the cause of that confusion which had kept the whole house in continual alarm during the best part of the night and seemed to be the immediate work of the devil and his angels when the governor gave him to understand that palette was visited with an evil spirit he muttered a prayer of St. Antonio de Padua and undertook to cure the painter provided he could be secured so as that he might without danger to himself burn part of a certain relic under his nose which he assured them was equal to the miraculous power of Eleazar's ring they expressed great curiosity to know what this treasure was and the priest was prevailed upon to tell them in confidence that it was a collection of the pairings of the nails belonging to those two madmen whom Jesus purged of the legion of devils that afterwards entered the swine so saying he pulled from one of his pockets a small box containing about an ounce of the pairings of a horse's hoof at sight of which the governor could not help smiling on account of the grossness of the imposition the doctor asked with a super sillier smile whether those maniacs whom Jesus cured would off the sorrel complexion or dapple gray for from the texture of these pairings he could prove that the original owners were of the quadruped order and even distinguish that their feet had been fortified with shoes of iron the mendicant who bore an inveterate grudge against this son of esculapius ever since he had made so free with the Catholic religion replied with great bitterness that he was a wretch with whom no Christian ought to communicate that the vengeance of heaven would one day overtake him on account of his profanity and that his heart was shod with a metal much harder than iron which nothing but hell fire would be able to melt it was now broad day and all the servants of the inn were afoot peregrine seeing it would be impossible to obtain any sort of indemnification for the time he had lost and the perturbation of his spirits hindering him from enjoying repose which was more over obstructed by the noise of palette and his attendance put on his clothes at once and in exceeding ill humor arrived at the spot where this triumvirate stood debating about the means of overpowering the furious painter who still continued his song of oaths and execrations had made sundry efforts to break open the door chagrined as our hero was he could not help laughing when he heard how the patient had been treated and his indignation changing into compassion he called to him through the keyhole desiring to know the reason of his distracted behavior palette no sooner recognized his voice than lowering his own to a whimpering tone my dear friend said he I have at last detected the ruffians who have persecuted me so much I caught them in the fact of suffocating me with cold water and by the Lord I will be revenged or may I never live to finish my clear patra for the love of God open the door and I will make that conceited pagan that pretender to taste that false devotee of the ancients who poisons people with silly kickerbyes and devils dung I say I will make him a monument of my wrath and an example to all the cheats and even postures of the faculty and as for that thick-headed insolent pedant his confederate who emptied my own Jordan upon me as I slept he had better have been in his beloved Paris botching schemes were his friend the pretender that incurred the effects of my resentment God's body kins I won't leave him a wind pipe for the hangman to stop at the end of another rebellion Pickle told him his conduct had been so extravagant as to confirm the whole company in the belief that he was actually deprived of his senses on which supposition Mr. Jolter and the doctor had acted the part of friends in doing that which they thought most conducive to his recovery so that their concern merited his thankful acknowledgement instead of his frantic menaces that for his own part he would be the first to condemn him as one utterly bereft of his wits and give orders for his being secured as a madman unless by laying aside his sword composing his spirits and thanking his injured friends for their care of his person this alternative quiet in his transports in a moment he was terrified at the apprehension of being treated like a bedlamite being dubious of the state of his own brain and on the other hand had conceived such a horror and antipathy for his tormentors that far from believing himself he could not even think of them without the utmost rage and detestation he therefore in the most tranquil voice he could assume protested that he was never less out of his senses than at present though he did not know how long he might retain them if he should be considered in the light of a lunatic that in order to prove his being composmentis he was willing to sacrifice the resentment he so justly harbored against those who by their malice had brought him to this path but as he apprehended it would be the greatest sign of madness he could exhibit to thank them for the mischiefs they had brought upon him he desired to be excused from making any such concession and swore he would endure everything rather than be guilty of such mean absurdity Periguin held a consultation upon this reply and the governor and physician strenuously argued against proposed that some method might be taken to seize feta and convey him into a dark room where he might be treated according to the rules of art but the capuchin understanding the circumstances of the case undertook to restore him to his former state without having recourse to such violent measures Pickle who was a better judge of the affair than any person present opened the door without further hesitation and displayed the poor painter with a woeful countenance shivering in his shirt which was as wet as if he had been dragged through the denda a spectacle which gave such offense to the chased eyes of the Hebrews mistress who was by this time one of the spectators that she turned her head another way and withdrew to her own room exclaiming against the indecent practices of men palette seeing the young gentleman enter ran to him and taking him out of the hands called him his best friend and said he had rescued him from those who had a design against his life the priest would have produced his pairings and applied them to his nose but was hindered by pickle who advised the patient to shift himself and put on his clothes this being done with great order and deliberation Mr. Jolter who with the doctor had kept a wary distance in expectation of seeing some storage effects of his distraction that he had been guilty of a mistake and accused the position of having misled him by his false diagnostic the doctor still insisted upon his former declaration assuring him that's although palette enjoyed a short interval for the present the delirium would soon recur unless they would profit by this momentary calm and order him to be blooded blistered and purged with all imaginable dispatch the governor however not with this caution advanced to the injured party and begged pardon for the share he had in giving him such disturbance he declared in the most solemn manner that he had no other intention than that of contributing towards his welfare and that his behavior was the result of the physician's prescription which he affirmed was absolutely necessary for the recovery of his health the painter who had very little gall in his disposition was satisfied with this apology but his resentment which was before divided now glowed with double fire against his first fellow traveller whom we looked upon as the author of all the mischances he had undergone and marked out for his vengeance accordingly yet the doors of reconciliation were not shut against the doctor who with great justice might have transferred this load of offence from himself to Peregrine who was without doubt the source of the painters fortune but in that case he must have owned himself mistaken in his medical capacity and he did not think the friendship of palette important enough to be retrieved by such condescension so that he resolved to neglect him entirely and gradually forget the former correspondence he had maintained with a person whom he deemed so unworthy of his notice end of chapter 57 recording by Martin sorry chapter 58 of the adventures of Peregrine Pickle volume one this is a LibriVox recording or LibriVox recordings are in the public domain for more information or to volunteer please visit LibriVox dot org recording by Martin Geeson the adventures of Peregrine Pickle volume one by Tobias Smollett chapter 58 Peregrine almost distracted with his disappointment conjures the fair Fleming to permit his visits at Brussels she withdraws from his pursuit things being thus adjusted and all the company dressed they went to breakfast about five in the morning and in less than an hour after were seated in the diligence where a profound silence prevailed Peregrine who used to be the life of the society was extremely pensive and melancholy on account of his mithab the Israelite and his Dulcinea dejected in consequence of their disgrace the poet absorbed in lofty meditation the painter in schemes of revenge while Jolter rocked by the motion of the carriage made himself immense for the want of rest he had sustained and the mendicant with his fair charge in whose disappointment each of them for different reasons borne no inconsiderable share this general longer and recess from all bodily exercise disposed them all to receive the gentle yoke of slumber and in half an hour after they had embarked there was not one of them awake except our hero and his mistress unless the capuchin was pleased to counterfeit sleep in order to indulge our young gentlemen with an opportunity of enjoying some private conversation with his beautious ward peregrine did not neglect the occasion but on the contrary ceased the first minute and in gentle murmurs lamented his hard happen being thus the sport of fortune he assured her and that with great sincerity that all the cross accidents of his life had not cost him one half of the vexation and keenness of chagrin which he had suffered last night starting from her he should be overwhelmed with the blackest despair if she would not extend her compassion so far as to give him an opportunity of sighing at her feet in brussels during the few days his affairs would permit him to spend in that city the young lady with an air of mortification expressed her sorrow for being the innocent cause of his anxiety said she hoped last night's adventure would be a solitary warning to both their souls for she was persuaded that her virtue was protected by the intervention of heaven that whatever impression it might have made upon him she was enabled by it to adhere to that duty from which her passion had begun to swerve and beseeching him to forget her for his own peace gave him to understand that neither the plan she had laid down for her own conduct nor the dictates of her honor would allow her to receive his visits or carry on any other correspondence with him while she was restricted by the articles of her marriage vow this explanation produced such a violent effect upon her admirer that he was for some minutes deprived of the faculty of speech which he no sooner recovered than he gave vent to the most unbridled transports of passion he taxed her with barbarity and indifference told her that she had robbed him of his reason and internal peace that he would follow her to the ends of the earth and cease to live her that he would sacrifice the innocent fool who had been the occasion of all this disquiet and murder every man whom he considered as an obstruction to his views in a word his passions which had continued so long in a state of the highest fermentation together with the want of that should pose which calms and quiets the perturbation of the spirits had brought him up to a pitch of real distraction while he uttered these delirious expressions the tears ran down his cheeks and he underwent such agitation that the tender heart of the fair Fleming was affected with his condition and while her own face was bedued with the streams of sympathy she begged him for heaven's sake to be composed and promised for his satisfaction to abate somewhat of the rigor of her purpose consoled by this kind declaration he recollected himself and taking out his pencil gave her his address when she had assured him that he should hear from her in four and twenty hours at farthest after their separation thus soothed he regained the empire of himself and by degrees recovered his serenity but this was not the case with his amanda who from this sample of his disposition dreaded the impetuosity of his youth and was effectively deterred from entering into any engagements that might subject her peace and reputation to the rash effects of such a violent spirit though she was captivated by his person and accomplishments she had reflection enough to foresee that the longer she countenance his passion her own heart would be more and more irretrievably engaged and the quiet of her life the more exposed to continual interruption she therefore profited by these considerations and a sense of religious honor which helped her to withstand the suggestions of inclination and resolved to amuse her lover with false hopes until she should have it in her power to relinquish his conversation without running any risk of suffering by the inconsiderate sallies of his love it was with this view that she desired he would not insist upon attending her to her mother's house when they arrived at Brussels and he could jolt by her artifice took a formal leave of her together with the other strangers fixing his habitation at the end to which he and his fellow travelers have been directed in the impatient expectation of receiving a kind summons from her within the limited time meanwhile in order to divert his imagination he went to see the Stathouse park and arsenal took a superficial view of the booksellers cabinet of curiosities and spent the evening at the Italian opera which was at the time exhibited for the entertainment of Prince Charles of Lorraine then governor of the low countries in short the stated period was almost lapsed when Peregrine received a letter to this purport sir if you knew what violence I do to my own heart in declaring that I have withdrawn myself forever from your addresses he would surely applaud the sacrifice I make to vert you and strive to imitate this example of self-denial yes sir heaven had lent me grace to struggle with my guilty passion and henceforth to avoid the dangerous sight of him who inspired it I therefore conjure you by the regard you ought to have to the eternal welfare of us both as well as by the esteem and affection you profess to war with your unruly inclination and desist from all attempts of frustrating the lordable resolution I have made seek not to invade the peace of one who loves you to disturb the quiet of a family that never did you wrong and to alienate the thoughts of a weak woman from a deserving man who by the most sacred claim ought to have the full possession of her heart this be a without either date or subscription banished all remains of discretion from the mind of our hero who ran instantly ecstasy of madness and demanded to see the messenger who brought the letter on pain of putting his whole family to the sword the innkeeper terrified by his looks and menaces fell upon his knees protesting in the face of heaven that he was utterly ignorant and innocent of anything that could give him offense and that the be a was brought by a person whom he did not know and who retired immediately in a thousand implications and invectives against the writer whom he dishonored with the appellations of a coquette a jilt an adventurer who by means of a pimping priest had defrauded him of his money he denounced vengeance against the mendicant whom he swore he would destroy if ever he should set eyes on him again the painter unluckily appearing during this paroxism of rage he seized him by the throat saying he was ruined by his accursed folly and in all likelihood poor palette would have been strangled had not jolt her interposed in his behalf beseeching his pupil to have mercy upon the sufferer and with infinite anxiety desiring to know the cause of this violent assault he received no answer but a string of incoherent curses when the painter with unspeakable astonishment took God to witness that he had done nothing to the governor began to think in sad earnest that Peregrine's vivacity had at length risen to the transports of actual madness and was himself almost distracted with this supposition that he might the better judge what remedy ought to be applied he used his whole influence and practiced all his eloquence upon the youth in order to learn the immediate cause of his delirium he employed the most pathetic entreaties and even shed tears in the course of his supplication so that Pickle the first violence of the hurricane being blown over was ashamed of his own imprudence and retired to his chamber in order to recollect his dissipated thoughts there he shut himself up and for the second time perusing the fatal epistle began to waver in his opinion of the author's character and intention he sometimes considered her as one of those nymphs who under the mask of innocence and simplicity practice upon the hearts and purses of unwary and inexperienced youths this was the suggestion of his wrath inflamed by disappointment but when he reflected upon the circumstances of her behavior and recalled a particular charms to his imagination the severity of his censure gave way and his heart declared in favor of her sincerity yet even this consideration aggravated the sense of his loss and he was in danger of relapsing into his former distraction when his passion was a little becalmed by the hope of seeing her again either by accident or in the course of a diligent and minute inquiry which he forthwith resolved to set on foot he had reason to believe that her own heart would espouse his cause in spite of her virtues determination with the capuchin whose good offices he knew he could at any time command comforted with these reflections the tempest of his soul subsided in less than two hours he joined his company with an air of composure and asked the painter's forgiveness for the freedom he had taken the cause of which he promised hereafter to explain pallet was glad of being reconciled on any terms to one whose countenance supported him in equilibrium with his antagonist the doctor and mr. jelter was rejoiced beyond measure at his pupils recovery end of chapter fifty eight recording by martin geeson in hazel mere sorry chapter fifty nine of the adventures of peregrine pickle volume one this is a Librivox recording all Librivox recordings are in the public domain for more information or to volunteer please visit Librivox dot org recording by martin geeson the adventures of peregrine pickle volume one by Tobias Smollett chapter fifty nine peregrine meets with mrs. hornbeck and is consoled for his loss is valid a sham is embroiled with her duena whom however he finds means to appease everything having resumed its natural channel they dined together in great tranquility in the afternoon peregrine on pretense of staying at home to write letters while his companions were at the coffeehouse ordered a coach to be called and with this valid a sham who was the only person acquainted with the present state of his thoughts set out for the prominent to which all the ladies of fashion resort in the evening during the summer season in hopes of seeing his fugitive among the rest. Having made a circuit around the walk and narrowly observed every female in the place he perceived at some distance the livery of hornbeck upon a lackey that stood at the back of a coach upon which he ordered his man to reconnoitre the said carriage while he pulled up his glasses that he might not be discovered before he should have received some intelligence by which he might conduct himself on this unexpected occasion that already began to interfere with the purpose of his coming biter though it could not dispute his attention with the idea of his charming unknown his mercury having made his observations reported that there was nobody in the coach but mrs. hornbeck and an elderly woman who had all the air of a duena and that the servant was not the same footman who had attended them in France encouraged by this information our hero ordered himself side of their convenience on which his old mistress sat and accosted her with the usual salutation this lady no sooner beheld her gallant and her cheeks reddened with a double glow and she exclaimed dear brother I am overjoyed to see you pray come into our coach he took the hint immediately and complying with her request embraced this new sister with great affection it was very much surprised and alarmed at this unexpected meeting she in order to banish her suspicion and at the same time give her lover his cue told him that his brother meaning her husband was gone to the spa for a few weeks by the advice of physicians on account of his ill state of health and that from his last letter she had the pleasure to tell him he was in a fair way of doing well the young gentleman expressed his satisfaction at this piece of news observing with an air of paternal concern that if his brother had not made too free with his constitution his friends in England would have had no occasion to repine that his absence and want of health by which he was banished from his own country and connections he then asked with an affectation of surprise why she had not accompanied her spouse and was given to understand that his tenderness of affection would not suffer him to expose her to the fatigue of the journey which lay among rocks that were almost inaccessible the duenna's doubts being eased by this preamble of conversation he changed the subject to the pleasures of the place and among other such questions inquired if she had as yet visited Versailles this is a public house situated upon the canal at the distance of about two miles from town and accommodated with tolerable gardens for the entertainment of company when she replied in the negative he proposed to accompany her dither immediately but the gouvernant who had hitherto sat silent objected to this proposal telling them in broken English that as the lady who was under her care she could not answer to Mr. Hornbeck for allowing her to visit such a suspicious place as for that matter madam said the confident galant give yourself no trouble the consequences shall be at my peril and I will undertake to ensure you against my brother's resentment so saying he directed the coachman to the place and orders his own to follow and to the auspices of his valet de chambre while the old gentlewoman overruled by his assurance quietly submitted to his authority being arrived at the place he handed the ladies from the coach and then for the first time observed that the duena was lame a circumstance of which he did not scruple to take the advantage for they had scarce a lighted and drunk a glass of wine when he advised his sister to enjoy a walk in the garden and although the attendant made shift to keep them almost always in view they enjoyed a detached conversation in which Peregrine learned that the true cause of her being left behind at Brussels whilst her husband proceeded to familiarities of that place to which his jealousy durced not expose her and that she had lived three weeks in a convent at Lille from which she was delivered by his own free motion because indeed he could no longer exist without her company and lastly our lover understood that her gubernante was a mere dragon who had been recommended to him by a Spanish merchant whose wife she attended to her dying day but she very much questioned whether or not her fidelity was proof enough against money and strong waters Peregrine assured her that the experiment should be tried before parting and they agreed to pass the night at Versailles provided his endeavors should succeed having exercised themselves in this manner until his duena spirits were pretty much exhausted that she might be the better disposed to recruit them with a class of liqueure they returned to their their apartment and the cordial was recommended and received in a bumper but as it did not produce such a visible alteration as the sanguine hopes of pickle had made him expect and the old gentle woman observed that it began to be late and that the gates would be shut in a little time he filled up a parting glass and pledged her in equal quantity her blood was much too chilled to be warmed even by this extraordinary dose which made immediate innovation in the brain of our youth who in the gaiety of his imagination overwhelmed this she argues with such profusion of gallantry that she was more intoxicated with his expressions and with the spirits she had drunk when in the course of toying he dropped a purse into her bosom she seemed to forget how the night war and with the approbation of her charge assented to his proposal of having something for supper this was a great point which our adventurer had gained and yet he plainly perceived that the gouvernant mistook his meaning by giving herself credit for all the passion he had professed as this error could be rectified by no other means than that of plying her with the bottle until her distinguishing faculty should be overpowered he promoted a quick circulation she did him justice without any manifest signs of inebriation so long that his own eyes began to reel in the sockets and he found that before his scheme could be accomplished he should be effectually unfitted for all the purposes of love he therefore had recourse to his valet de charme who understood the hint as soon as it was given and readily undertook to perform the part of which his master had played the prelude this affair being settled to his satisfaction and the night at odds with morning he took an opportunity of this aged dulcinea a kind whisper importing a promise of visiting her when his sister should be retired to her own chamber and an earnest desire of leaving her door unlocked this agreeable intimation being communicated he conveyed a caution of the same nature to mrs. Hornbeck as he led her to her apartment and darkness and silence no sooner prevailed in the house than he and his trusted squire set out on their different voyages everything would have succeeded according to their wish had not the valid a charm suffered himself to fall asleep at the side of his in amorata and in the agitation of a violent dream exclaimed in a voice so unlike that of her supposed adora that she distinguished the difference at once waking him with a pinch and a loud shriek she threatened to prosecute him for a rape and reviled him with all the epithets her rage and disappointment could suggest the Frenchman finding himself detected behaved with great temper and address he bet she would compose herself on account of her own reputation which was extremely dear to him protesting that he had a most inviolable esteem for her person his representations had weight with the duena who upon recollection comprehended the whole affair and thought it would be her interest to bring matters to an accommodation she therefore admitted the apologies of her bed fellow provided he would promise to atone by marriage for the injury she had sustained and in this particular he set her heart at ease by repeated vows which he uttered with surprising volubility though without any intention to perform the least tittle of their contents Perigrin who had been alarmed by her exclamation and ran to the door with a view of interposing according to the emergency of the case overhearing the affair thus compromised returned to his mistress who was highly entertained with an account of what had passed foreseeing that for the future she should be under no difficulty or restriction from the severity of her guard end of chapter 59 Recording by Martin Geeson in Hazel Mearsurry chapter 60 of the Adventures of Peregrine Pickle volume one this is a LibriVox recording all LibriVox recordings are in the public domain for more information or to volunteer please visit LibriVox.org Recording by Martin Geeson the Adventures of Peregrine Pickle volume one by Tobias Smollett chapter 60 Hornbeck is informed of his wife's adventure with Peregrine for whom he prepares a stratagem which is rendered ineffectual by the information of pipes the husband is ducked for his intention and our hero apprehended by the patrol there was another person however still ungained and that was no other than her footman who secrecy our hero attempted to secure in the morning by a handsome present which he received with many professions of gratitude and devotion to his service yet this complacence was nothing but a cloak used to disguise the design he harbored of making his master acquainted with the whole transaction indeed this lackey had been hired not only as a spy upon his mistress but also as a check on the conduct of the guvernant with the promise of ample reward if ever he should discover any sinister or suspicious practices as for the footman whom they had brought from england he was retained in attendance upon the person of his master whose confidence he had lost by advising him to gentle methods of reclaiming his lady when her irregularities had subjected her to his rough the Flemish valet in consequence of the office he had undertaken wrote to hornbeck by the first post giving an exact detail of the adventure at Versailles with such a description of the pretended brother as left the husband no room to think he could be any other person than his first dishonorer and exasperated him to such degree that he resolved to lay an ambush for this invader and at once disqualify him from disturbing his repose by maintaining further correspondence with his wife meanwhile the lovers enjoyed themselves without restraint and Perigwin's plan of inquiry after his dear unknown was for the present postponed his fellow travelers were confounded at his mysterious motions which filled the heart of jolter with anxiety and terror this careful conductor was fraught with such experience of his pupil's disposition that he trembled with apprehension of some sudden accident and lived in continual alarm like a man that walks under the wall of a nodding tower nor did he enjoy any alleviations of his fears when upon telling the young gentlemen that the rest of the company were desirous of departing for Antwerp he answered they were at liberty to consult their own inclinations but for his own part he was resolved to stay in Brussels a few days longer by this declaration the governor was confirmed in the opinion of his having some intrigue upon the Anvil in the bitterness of his vexation he took the liberty of signifying his suspicion and reminding him of the dangerous dilemmas to which he had been reduced by his former precipitation Perry Grinn took his caution in good part and promised to behave with such circumspection as would screen him for many troublesome consequences for the future but nevertheless behaved that same evening in such a manner as plainly showed that his prudence was nothing else than vain speculation he had made an appointment to spend the night as usual with Mrs. Hornbeck and about nine o'clock hastened to her lodgings when he was accosted in the street by his old discarded friend Thomas Pipes who without any other preamble told him that for all he had turned him a drift he did not choose to see him run full sale into his enemy's harbour without giving him timely notice of the danger I'll tell you what said he may hop you think I want to curry favour that I may be taken in tow again if you do you have made a mistake in your reckoning I'm old enough to be laid up and have to keep my planks from the weather but this here is the affair I have known you since you were no higher than a Marlin spike and shouldn't care to see you deprived of your rigging at these years whereby I am informed by Hornbeck's man whom I this afternoon fell in with by chance as how his master has got intelligence of your board in his wife and has steered privately into this port with a large compliment of hands in ordered you see to secure you while you are under the hatches now if so be is how you have a mind to give him a salt eel for his supper here am I without hope of fee or reward ready to stand by you as long as my timbers will stick together and if I expect any recompense may I be bound to eat outcome and drink bilge water for life startled at this information and when he understood that Hornbeck's intelligence flowed from the canal of his Flemish footman he believed every circumstance of Tom's report thanked him for his warning and after having reprimanded him for his misbehavior at leal assured him it should be his own fault if ever they should part again he then deliberated with himself whether or not he should retort the purpose upon his adversary but when he considered that Hornbeck was not the aggressor and made that unhappy husband's case his own he could not help quitting his intention of revenge though in his opinion it ought to have been executed in a more honourable manner and therefore he determined to chastise him for his want of spirit nothing surely can be more insolent and unjust and this determination which induced him to punish a person for his want of courage to redress the injury which he himself and yet this barbarity of decision is authorised by the opinion and practice of mankind with these sentiments he returned to the inn and putting a pair of pistols in his pocket ordered his valedict is sharp and pipes to follow him at a small distance so is that they should be within call in case of necessity and then posted himself within 30 yards of his Dulcine as door an hour when he perceived for men take their station on the other side with a view as he guessed to watch for his going in but he might be taken unaware but when they had tarried a considerable time in that corner without reaping the fruits of their expectation their leader persuaded that the gallant had gained admittance by some secret means approached the door with his followers who according to the instructions they had received no sooner saw it opened then they rushed in leaving their employer in the street where he thought his person would be the least endangered our adventurer seeing him all alone advanced with speed and clapping a pistol to his breast commanded him to follow his footsteps without noise on pain of immediate death terrified at this sudden apparition Hornbeke obeyed in silence and in a few minutes they arrived at the key where Pickle halting gave him to understand that he was no stranger to his villainous design told him that if he conceived himself injured by any circumstance of his conduct he would now give him an opportunity of resenting the wrong in a manner becoming a man of honor you have a sword about to said he or if you don't choose to put the affair on that issue here is a brace of pistols take which you please such an address could not fail to disconcert a man of his character after some hesitation he in a faltering accent denied that his design was to mutilate Mr. Pickle but that he thought himself entitled to the benefit of the law by which he would have obtained a divorce if he could have procured evidence of his wife's infidelity and without view he had employed people to take advantage of the information he had received with regard to this alternative he declined it entirely because he could not see what satisfaction he should enjoy in being shot through the head or run through the lungs by a person who had already wronged him in an irreparable manner lastly his fear made him proposed that the affair should be left to the arbitration of two creditable men altogether unconcerned in the dispute to these remonstrances Peregrine replied in the style of a hot-headed young man conscious of his own unjustifiable behavior that every gentleman ought to be a judge of his own honor and therefore he would submit to the decision of no umpire whatsoever that he would forgive his want of courage which might be a natural infirmity but his mean dissimulation he could not pardon that as he was certified of the rascally intent of his ambuscade by undoubted intelligence he would treat him not with a retaliation of his own treachery but with such indignity as a scoundrel deserves to suffer unless he would make one effort to maintain the character he assumed in life so saying he again presented his pistols which being rejected as before he called his two ministers and ordered them to duck him in the canal this command was pronounced and executed almost in the same breath to the unspeakable terror and disorder of the poor shivering patient who having undergone the immersion ran about like a drowned rat squeaking for assistance and revenge his cries were overheard by the patrol who chanting to pass that way took him under their protection and in consequence of his complaints and information went in pursuit of our adventurer and his attendance who were soon overtaken and surrounded rationed inconsiderate as the young gentleman was he did not pretend to stand upon the defensive against a file of musketeers although pipes had drawn his cutlass at their approach but surrendered himself without opposition and was conveyed to the main guard where the commanding officer engaged by his appearance and address treated him with all imaginable respect hearing the particulars of his adventure he assured him that the prince would consider the whole as a tour de jeunesse and order him to be released without delay next morning when this gentleman gave in his report he made such a favorable representation of the prisoner that our hero was on the point of being discharged when hornbeck preferred a complaint accusing him of a purposed assassination and praying that such punishment should be inflicted upon him as his highness should think adequate to the nature of the crime the prince perplexed with this petition in consequence of which he foresaw that he must disoblige a British subject sent for the plaintiff of whom he had some knowledge and in person exhorted him to drop the prosecution which would only serve to propagate his own shame but hornbeck was too much incensed to listen to any proposal of that kind and peremptorily demanded judgment against the prisoner whom he represented as an obscure adventurer who had made repeated attempts upon his honor and his life Prince Charles told him that's what he had advised in the capacity of a friend but since he insisted upon his acting as a magistrate the affair should be examined and determined according to the dictates of justice and truth the petitioner being dismissed with this promise the defendant was in his turn brought before the judge whose prepossession in his favor was in a great measure weakened by what his antagonist had said to the prejudice of his birth and reputation end of chapter sixty recording by Martin Giesen in Hazelmere Surrey chapter sixty one of the adventures of Peregrine Pickle volume one this is a LibriVox recording all LibriVox recordings are in the public domain for more information or to volunteer please visit LibriVox.org recording by Martin Giesen the adventures of Peregrine Pickle volume one by Tobias Smollett chapter sixty one Peregrine is released Jolter confounded at his mysterious conduct a contest happens between the poet and painter who are reconciled by the mediation of their fellow travelers our hero understanding from some expressions which escaped the prince that he was considered in the light of the sharper and assassin begged that he might have the liberty of sending for some vouchers that would probably vindicate his character from the malicious aspersions of his adversary this permission being granted he wrote a letter to his governor desiring that he would bring to him the letters of recommendation which he had received from the British ambassador at Paris and such other papers as he thought conducive to evince the importance of his situation the B.A. was given in charge to one of the subaltern officers on duty who carried it to the inn and demanded to speak with Mr. Jolter Pallet who happened to be at the door when this messenger arrived and heard him inquire for the tutor ran directly to that gentleman's apartment and in manifest disorder told him that a huge fellow of a soldier with a monstrous pair of whiskers and a fur cap as big as a bushel was asking for him at the door the poor governor began to shake at this intimation though he was not conscious of having committed anything that could attract the attention of the state when the officer appeared at his chamber door his confusion increased to such a degree that his perception seemed to vanish and the subaltern repeated the purport of his errand three times before he could comprehend his meaning or venture to receive the letter which he presented at length he summoned all his fortitude and having perused the epistle his terror sank into anxiety is ingenuous fear immediately suggested that peregrine was confined in a dungeon for some outrage he had committed he ran with great agitation to a trunk and taking out a bundle of papers followed his conductor being attended by the painter to whom he had hinted his apprehension when they passed through the guard which was under arms the hearts of both died within them and when they came into the presence there was such an expression of awful horror on the countenance of jolter that the prince observing his dismay was pleased to encourage him with an assurance that he had nothing to fear thus comforted he recollected himself so well as to understand his pupil when he desired him to produce the ambassador's letters were immediately read by his highness who was personally acquainted with the writer and knew several of the nobleman to whom they were addressed these recommendations were so warm and represented the young gentleman in such an advantageous light that the prince convinced of the injustice which his character had suffered by the misrepresentation of hornbeck took our hero by the hand asked pardon for the doubts he had entertained of his honor declared him from that moment at liberty ordered his domestics to be enlarged and offered him his countenance and protection as long as he should remain in the Austrian Netherlands at the same time he cautioned him against indiscretion in the course of his gallantries and took his word of honor that he should drop all measures of resentment against the person of hornbeck during his residence in that place the delinquent thus honorably acquitted thanked the prince in the most respectful manner for his generosity and candor and retired with his two friends who were amazed and bewildered in their thoughts at what they had seen and heard the whole adventure still remaining without the sphere of their comprehension which was not at all enlarged by the unaccountable appearance of pipes who with the Valé des Chambres joined them at the castle gate had Jolte been a man of luxuriant imagination his brain would undoubtedly have suffered in the investigation of his pupils mysterious conduct which he strove in vain to unravel but his intellects were too solid to be affected by the miscarriage of his invention and as Peregrine did not think proper to make him acquainted with the cause of his being apprehended he contented himself with supposing that there was a lady in the case the painter whose imagination was of a more flimsy texture formed a thousand numerical conjectures which he communicated to Pickle in imperfect insinuations hoping by his answers and behavior to discover the truth but the youth in order to tantalize him eluded all his inquiries with such an appearance of industry and art as heightened his curiosity while it disappointed his aim and inflamed him to such a degree of impatience that his wits began to be unsettled then Peregrine was feigned to recompose his brain by telling him in confidence that he had been arrested as a spy this secret he found more intolerable than his former uncertainty he ran from one apartment to another like a goose in the agonies of egg laying with intention of disburdening this important load but Jolter being engaged with the pupil and all the people of the house ignorant of the only language he could speak he was compelled with infinite reluctance to address himself to the doctor who was at that time shut up in his own chamber having knocked at the door to no purpose he peeped through the keyhole and saw the physician sitting at a table with a pen in one hand and a paper before him his head reclined upon his other hand and his eyes fixed upon the ceiling as if he had been entranced Palette concluding that he was under the power of some convulsion endeavored to force the door open and the noise of his efforts recalled the doctor from his reverie this poetical Republican being so disagreeably disturbed started up in a passion and opening the door no sooner perceived who had interrupted him than he flung it in his face with great fury and cursed him for his impertinent intrusion which had deprived him of the most delightful vision that had ever regaled the human fancy he imagined as he afterwards imparted to Peregrine that as he enjoyed himself in walking through the flowery plain that borders on Parnassus he was met by a venerable sage whom by a certain divine vivacity that lightened from his eyes he instantly knew to be the immortal Pindar he was immediately struck with reverence and awe and prostrated himself before the apparition which taking him by the hand lifted him gently from the ground and with words more sweet than the honey of the Huble bees told him that of all the moderns he alone was visited by that celestial impulse by which he himself had been inspired when he produced his most applauded odes so saying he led him up the sacred hill persuaded him to drink a copious draft of the waters of the Hippocrine and then presented him to the harmonious Nine who crowned his temples with a laurel wreath no wonder that he was enraged to find himself cut off from such sublime society he raved in Greek against the invader who was so big with his own purpose that unmindful of the disgrace he had sustained and disregarding all the symptoms of the physician's displeasure he applied his mouth to the door in an eager tone I'll hold you any wager said he that I guess the true cause of Mr. Pickles imprisonment to this challenge he received no reply and therefore repeated it adding I suppose you imagine he was taking up for fighting a duel or a fronting a nobleman or lying with some man's wife or some such matter but a gad you was never more mistaken in your life and I'll lay my clear patra against your Homer's head that in four and twenty hours you shan't light on the true reason the favorite of the muses exasperated at this vexatious perseverance of the painter who he imagined had come to tease and insult him I would said he sacrifice a cock to Isculapius where I assured that any person had been taken up for exterpating such a troublesome goth as you are from the face of the earth as your boasted clear patra which you say was drawn from your own wife I believe the copy has as much of the tocalon as the original but where it mine it should be hung up in the temple of cloakena as the picture of that goddess for any other apartment would be disgraced by its appearance Harky sir replied palette enraged in his turn at the contempt who has mentioned of his darling performance you may make us free with my wife as you think proper but where my works those are the children of my fancy conceived by the glowing imagination and formed by the art of my own hands and you yourself are a goth and a turk and a tartar and an impudent pretending jacken apes to treat with such disrespect a production which in the opinion of all the connoisseurs of the age will when finished be a masterpiece in its kind and do honor to human genius and skill so I say again and again and care not so your friend play tour heard me that you have no more taste than a Dreyman's horse and that those foolish notions of the ancients ought to be rubbed out of you with a pod cudgel that you might learn to treat men of parts with more veneration perhaps you may not always be in the company of one who will halloo for assistance when you're on the brink of being chastised for your insolence as I did when you brought upon yourself the resentment of that Scott who by the lord would have paid you both Scott and lot as full staff says if the French officer had not put him in arrest the physician to this declamation which was conveyed through the keyhole answered that he the painter was a fellow so infinitely below his consideration that his conscience up braided him with no action of his life except that of choosing such a wretch for his companion and fellow traveller that he had viewed his character through the medium of good nature and compassion which had prompted him to give pallets an opportunity of acquiring some new ideas under his immediate instruction but he had abused his goodness and condescension in such a flagrant manner that he was now determined to discard him entirely from his acquaintance and desired him for the present to take himself away on pain of being kicked for his presumption pallet was too much incensed to be intimidated by this threat which he retorted with great virulence defying him to come forth but it might appear which of them was best skilled in that pedestrian exercise which he immediately began to practice against the door with such thundering application as reached the ears of Pickle and his governor who coming out into the passage and seeing him thus employed asked if he had forgot the chamber pots of our lost that he ventured to behave in such a manner as entitled him to a second prescription of the same nature the doctor understanding that there was company at hand opened the door in a twinkling and springing upon his antagonist like a tiger a fierce contention would have ensued to the infinite satisfaction of our hero had not jolte to the manifest peril of his own person interposed and partly by force and partly by exhortations put a stop to the engagement before it was fairly begun after having demonstrated the indecency of such a vulgar encounter betwixt to fellow citizens he begged to know the cause of their dissension and offered his good offices towards an accommodation periguin also seeing the fray was finished expressed himself to the same purpose and the painter for obvious reasons declining an explanation his antagonist told the youth what a mortifying interruption he had suffered by the impertinent intrusion of palette and gave him a detail of the particulars of his vision the arbiter owned the provocation was not to be endured and decreed that the offender should make some atonement for his transgression upon which the painter observed that however he might have been disposed to make acknowledgments if the physician had signified his displeasure like a gentleman the complainant had now forfeited all claim to any such concessions by the vulgar manner in which he had reviled him and his productions observing that if the painter had been inclined to retort his slanderous insinuations the republicans own works would have afforded ample subject for his ridicule and censure after divers disputes and representations peace was at length concluded on condition that for the future the doctor should never mention Cleopatra unless he could say something in her praise and that palette in consideration of his having been the first aggressor should make a sketch of the physician's vision to be engraved and prefixed to the next edition of his odes end of chapter 61 recording by Martin Geeson in Hazelmere Surrey