Letters 1 and 2 of the Sylph. The Sylph by Georgiana Cavendish, Duchess of Devonshire. Letters 1 and 2 from Sir William Stanley to Lord Bidolf. Letter 1 To Lord Bidolf! It is a certain side of the bad that the cause is being bad when he is obliged to quit precedence in the follies of others to excuse his own. You see, I give up my cause at once. I am convinced I have done a silly thing, and yet I can produce thousands who daily do the same with, perhaps, not so good a motive as myself. In short, not to puzzle you too much, which I know is extremely irksome to a man who loves to have everything as clear as a proposition in Euclid, your friend—now, don't laugh—is married. Married! Ay! Why not? Don't everybody marry?  Then why that stare of astonishment, that look of unbelief? Yes, thou, Infidel, I am married, and such a woman! Though notwithstanding her beauty and other accomplishments, I shall be half afraid to present her to the world. She is such a rustic, one of your sylvan deities, but I was mad for her. So you have been for half the woman in town. Very true, my Lord, so I have, till I either gain them, or saw others whose image obliterated theirs. You well know, love with me has ever been a laughing-god, rosy lips and cherub smiles, none of its black, despairing looks have I experienced. What will the world say? How will some exult that I am at last taken in? What, the gay, sedusive, Stanley shackled? Thought I apprehend your lordship will wish to be informed, how the smiling mischief seized me? Well you shall have the full and through particulars of the matter, how, the time, when, and the place where. I must, however, look back. Perhaps I have been too precipitant. I might possibly have gained the charming maid a less expense than adamantine everlasting chains, but the bare idea of losing her made every former resolution of never being enslaved appear as nothing. Her looks would warm the cool bosom of age and tempt an anchorite to sin. I could have informed you in a much better method and have led you on through a flowery path, but as all my elaborate sketches must have ended in this disastrous truth, I am married. I thought it quite as well to let you into that important secret at once. As I have divided my discourse under three heads, I will, according to some able preachers, begin with the first. I left you, as you may remember, though perhaps the burgundy might have washed away your powers of recollection, pretty early one morning at the thatched house to proceed as far as Wales to visit Lord G. I did not find so much sport as I expected in his lordship's grounds, and within doors two old-fashioned maiden sisters did not promise much as is suited to my taste, and therefore pretended letters from town which required my attendance, and in consequence made my congee and departed. On my journey, as I had no immediate business anywhere save that which had ever been my sole employ—amusement—I resolved to make little deviations from the right road, and like a sentimental traveller, pick up what I could find in my way conducive to the chief end of my life. I stopped at a pleasant village, some distance from Abergevenne, where I rested some time, making little, excursive progressions round the country, rambling over cloud-capped mountains one morning, a morning big with the fate of Moor game and your friend, from the ridge of a precipice, they beheld, to me, the most delicious game in hospitable gloom, a brace of females, unattended, and by the style of their dress, though far removed from the vulgar, yet such did not bespeak them of our world. I drew out my glass to take a nearer can, when such beauties shot from one in particular that fired my soul and ran thrilling through every vein. That instant they turned from me, and seemed to be bending their footsteps far away. Mad with a wish of a nearer view, and fearful of losing sight of them, I hastily strove to descend. My eyes still fixed on my lovely object, I pay no regard to my situation, and while my thoughts and every faculty were absorbed in this pleasing idea, scrambled over rocks and precipices, fearless of consequences, which, however, might have concluded, rather, unfortunately, and spurled me for adventure, for, without the least warning, which is often the case, a piece of earth gave way, and down my worship rode to the bottom. The height from whence I had fallen, and the rough encounters I had met with, stunned me for some time, but when I came to my recollection, I was charmed to see my beautiful girls running towards me. They had seen my fall, and from my lying still, concluded I was killed. They expressed great joy on hearing me speak, and most obligingly endeavored to assist me in arising, but their united efforts were in vain. My leg was broken. This was a great shock to us all. In the sweetest accents they condoled me on my misfortune, and offered every assistance and consolation in their power, to a genius so enterprising as myself, any accident which furthered my wishes of making an acquaintance with the object I had been pursuing, appeared trivial, when the advantages presented themselves to my view. I sat there for, like, patience on a monument, and bore my misfortune with a stoical philosophy. I wanted much to discover who they were, as their appearance was rather equivocal, and might have pronounced them belonging to any station in life. The dress was exactly the same, white jackets and petticoats, with light green ribbons, etc. I asked some questions, which, I hoped, would lead to the point I wished to be informed in. Their answers were polite, but not satisfactory, though I cannot say they were wholly evasive, as they seemed artlessly innocent, or, if at all, reserved. It was the reserve which native modesty teaches. One of them said I was in great need of instant assistance, and she had interest enough to procure some from a house not very distant from us, of which they were both going. I entreated the younger one to stay, as I should be the most wretched of all mortals if left to myself. We go, said she, in order to relieve that wretchedness. I fixed my eyes on her with the most tender langer I could assume, and, saying, told her, it was in her power alone to give me ease, since she was the cause of my pain. Her charms had dazzled my eyes, and occasioned that full step which had brought me sooner than I expected at her feet. She smiled, and answered, that it was doubly incumbent on her to be as quick as possible in procuring me every accommodation necessary. At that instant they spied a herdsman not far off. They called aloud, and, talking with him some little time, without saying a word further to me, tripped away like two fairies. I asked the peasant who those lovely girls were, he not answering.  I had flattered myself with being, by this fellow's assistance, able to discover the real situation of these sweet girls. Indeed I hoped to have found them within my reach, for, though I was at that moment as much in love as a man with a broken leg and bruised body could be supposed, yet I had then not the least thoughts of matrimony. I give you my honour. Thus disappointed in my views, I rested as contented as I could, hoping better fortune by and by. In a little time a person who had the appearance of a gentleman approached with three other servants who carried a gate on which was laid a feather-bed. He addressed me with the utmost politeness, and assisted to place me on this litter, and begged to have the honour of attending me to his house. I returned his civilities with the same politeness, and was carried to a very good-looking house on the side of a wood, and placed on a bed in a room handsomely furnished. A sergeant came a few hours later. The fracture was reduced, and as I was ordered to be kept extremely quiet, everyone left the room, except my kind host, who sat silently by the bedside. This was certainly genuine hospitality, for I was wholly unknown, as you may suppose. However, my figure, being that of a gentleman, and my distress situation, were sufficient recommendations. After lying some time in a silent state, I ventured to breathe out my grateful acknowledgements, for Mr Grenville stopped me short, nor would suffer me to say one word which might tend to agitate my spirits. He told him I thought it absolutely necessary to inform him who I was, as the event of my accident was uncertain. I therefore gave a concise account of myself. He decided to know if I had any friend to whom I would wish to communicate my situation. I begged him to send to the village I had left that morning for my servant, as I should be glad of his attendance. Being an adroit fellow, I judged he might be of service to me in gaining some intelligence about the damsels in question. But I was very near never wanting him again, for a fever coming on, I was, for some days, hovering over the grave. A good constitutional last got the better, and I had nothing to combat but my broken limb, which was in a fair way. I had a most excellent nurse, a housekeeper and a family. My own servant likewise waited on me. Mr. Grenville spent a part of every day with me, and his agreeable conversation, though rather too gray for a fellow of my far, afforded me great comfort during my confinement. It still something was wanting, till I could hear news of my charming woodnips. One morning I strived to make my old nurse talk, an endeavour to draw her out. She seemed a little shy. I asked her a number of questions about my generous entertainer. She rung a peal in his praise. I then asked if there were any pretty girls in the neighbourhood, as I was a great admirer of beauty. She laughed, and told me not to let my thoughts wander that way yet a while. I was yet too weak. Not the talk of beauty, my old girl, said I. I, I, she answered, but you look as if talking would not content you. I then told her I had seen the loveliest girl in the world among the Welsh mountains, not far from hence, who I found was acquainted with his family, and I would reward her handsomely if she could procure me an interview with her. When she should judge, I was able to talk of love in a proper style. I then described the girls I had seen, and freely confessed the impression one of them had made on me. The sure as you are alive, said the old cat, it was my daughter you saw. Your daughter, I exclaimed. Is it possible for your daughter to be such an angel? Good luck, why not? What, because I am poor and a servant? My daughter is not to be flesh in blood." By heaven but she is, said I, earned such flesh in blood that I would give a thousand pounds to take her to town with me. What say you, mother, will you let me see her? I cannot tell, said she, shaking her head. To be sure my girl is handsome, and might make her fortune in town, for she is as virtuous as she is poor. I promise you, said I, if she is not foolish enough to be scrupulous about one, I will take care to remove the other. But when shall I see her? Lord, you must not be in such a hurry, all in good time. With his assurance, and these hopes, I was constrained to remain satisfied for some time. That the old wench, every now and then, would flatter my passions by extolling the charms of her daughter, and above all, commending her sweet, complied disposition, a circumstance I thought in my favour, as it would render my conquest less arduous. I occasionally asked her of the family whom she served. She seemed to rather reserved on this subject, though copious enough on any other. She informed me, however, that Mr. Grendel had two daughters, but no more to be compared with hers than she was, and that, as soon as I was able to quit my bed-shaber, they would be introduced to me. As my strength increased, my talkative nurse grew more eloquent in the praises of her child, and by those praises inflamed my passion to the highest pitch. I thought every day and age till I again beheld her, reserving to begin my attack as soon as possible, and indulging the idea that my task would, through the intervention of the mother, be carried on with great facility. Thus I wiled away the time when I was left to myself. Yet, notwithstanding, I recovered most amazingly fast, considering my accident. I thought the confinement plaguey tedious, and was heartily glad when my surgeon gave me permission to be conveyed into a dressing-room. On the second day of my emigration from my bed-shamber, Mr. Grendel informed me, he would bring me acquainted with the rest of his family. I assured him I should receive such an indulgence as a mark of his unexampled politeness and humanity, and should endeavour to be grateful for such a favour. I now attained the height of my wishes, and at the same time sustained a sensible and mortifying disappointment. For, in the afternoon, Mr. Grendel entered the room, and, in either hand, one of the lovely girls I had seen, and who were the primary cause of my accident. I attained the summit of my wishes, and again beholding my charmer. But when she was introduced, under the character of daughter to my host, my fond hopes were instantly crushed. How could I be such a villain as to attempt the seduction of the daughter of a man to whom I was bound by so many ties? This reflection damped the joy which flushed in my face when I fast saw her. I paid my compliments to the fair sisters, with an embarrassment in my air, not usual to a man of the world, but which, however, was not perceptible to my innocent companions. They talked over my adventure, and congratulated my recovery with so much good nature, as endeared them both to me, at the same time that I inwardly cursed the charms that enslaved me. Upon the whole I do not know whether pain or pleasure was predominant through the course of the day, but I found I loved her more and more every moment. Uncertain what my results or intentions were, I took my leave of them, and returned to my room with matter for reflection sufficient to keep me waking the best part of the night. My old tabby did not administer a sleeping potion to me, by the conversation I had with her afterwards on the subject in debate. Well, sir, she asked, how do you like my master's daughters? Not so well as I should like your daughter, I can tell you. What the devil did you mean by your cursed long harangs about her beauty, when you knew all the while she was not attainable? Why not? She is disengaged, is of a family and rank in life, to do any man credit, and you are a number of her. True, but I have no inclination to marry. And you cannot hope to secure on any other terms, even if you could form the plan of dishonoring the daughter of a man of some consequence in the world, and one who has shown you such kindness. Your sagacity happens to be right in your conjecture, but you would have had no scruples of conscience in your design on my daughter. Not much, I confess. Money well applied would have silenced the world, and I should have left it to her and your prudence to have done the rest. And do you suppose, sir, said she, that the honour of my daughter is not as valuable to me, because I am placed so much below you as that of the daughter of the first man in the world?  No, sir, no me better than to believe any worldly advantages would have silenced my wrongs. My child, thank heaven, is virtuous, and far removed from the danger of meeting with such as I am sorry to find you are. One who would bestly rob the poor of the only privilege they possess, that of being innocent, while you cowardly shrink at the idea of attacking a woman who, in the eye of a venal world, has a sufficient fortune to vanish over the loss of reputation, I confess I knew not the depravity of your heart till the other day, I, by accident, had part of a conversation between you and your servant. Before that I freely own, though I thought you not so strict in your morals as I hoped, yet I flattered myself your principles were not corrupted, but imputed the warmth of your expressions to youth and the life unclouded by misfortune. I further own, I was delighted with the impression which my young lady had made on you. I fancied your passion disinterested, because you knew not her situation in life, but now I know you too well to suffer her to entertain a partiality, for one whose sentiments are unworthy a man of honour and who can never esteem virtue, though in her loveliest form. Upon my sole mother, cried I, affecting an air of gaiety in my manner, which was foreign to my heart, for I was cursely chagrined. You have really a fine talent for preaching. Why, what a delectable sermon have you delivered against simple fornication. But come, come, we must not be enemies.  I honour and revere virtue, even in you, who, you must be sensible, are rather too advanced in life for revenus. Though I doubt not in your youth, you made many a Welsh hearted dance without a harp. Come, I see you are not so angry as you were. Have a little compassion on a poor young fellow who cannot, if he wishes it, run away from your frowns. I am tied by the leg, you know, my old girl. But to tell you the serious truth, the cause of the air of dissatisfaction, which I wore, was my apprehension of not having merit to gain the early woman that ever made any impression on my heart. And likewise, my fears of your not being my friend, from the ludicrous manner in which I had before, treated this affair. I added some more prevailing arguments, and solemnly attested heaven to witness my innocence of actual seduction. Though I had, I confessed with blushes, indulged in a few fashionable pleasures, which, though they might be styled crimes among the Welsh mountains, were nothing in our world. In short, I omitted nothing, as you will suppose by the lies I already told of my innocence of actual seduction, and such stuff, that I thought conducive to the conciliating her good opinion, or at least a better than she seemed to have at present. When I argued the matter over in my own mind, I knew not on what to determine. Reflection never agreed with me.  It brings me that a consumed long string of past transactions that bore me to death, and it's worse than a fit of the hypochondriac. I endeavored to lose my disagreeable companion in the arms of sleep, but the devil a bit. The idea of the raptures I should taste in those of my lovely julias through the drowsy god from my eyelids. Yet my pleasurable sensations were damped by the enormous purchase I must, in all probability, pay for such a delightful privilege. After examining the business every way, I concluded it, as I do most things, which require mature deliberation, left it to work its way in the best manner it could, and making chance, the first link in the chain of causes, a ruler of my fate. I now saw my julia daily, and the increase of passion was a consequence of every interview. You have often told me I was a fellow of no speculation or thought. I presume to say that, in the point in question, though you may conceive me running hand overhead to destruction, I have shown a great deal of forethought, and that the step I have taken is an infallible proof of it. Charming is both you, and I think the Lady Betteys, and Lady Bridgets, and faith have found them too. I believe neither you nor I ever intended to take any one of them for better, for worse. Yet we have never made any resolution against entering into the pale of matrimony. Now, though I like a little barinage, and sometimes something more, with a married woman, I would much rather that my wife, like Caesar's, should not be suspected. Where, then, is it so likely to meet with a woman of real virtue, as in the lap of innocence? The women of our world marry, they may have the greater privilege for leading dissipated lives. Knowing them so well as I do, I could have no chance of happiness with one of their class. And yet one must, one time or other, settle soberly and raise a brood, and why not now, while every artery beats rapidly, and nature is alive? However, it does not signify bringing this argument, or that, to justify my procedure. I could not act otherwise than I have done. I was mad, absolutely dying for her. By heaven, I never saw so many beauties under one form. There is not a limb or feature which I have not adored in as many different women. Here they are all assembled with the greatest harmony, and yet she wants the polish of the world. Je n'ai ce qui croit à tout ensemble, which nothing but mixing with people of fashion can give. But as she is extremely docile, I have hoped she will not disgrace the name of Stanley. Shall I whisper you a secret? But publish it not in the streets of Ascalon. I could almost wish my whole life had passed in the same innocent tranquil manner it has now for several weeks. No tumultuous thoughts, which, as they are too often excited by licentious excess, must be lost and drowned in wine. No cursed qualms of conscience which will appall the most hardy of us when nature sickenes after the fatigue of a debauch. Here all is peaceful because all is innocent. And yet what for luxury can figure a high joy that I at present experience in the possession of the most lovely of her sex, who thinks at her duty to contribute to my pleasure, and whose every thought I can read in her expressive countenance. Oh, that I may ever see her with the same eyes I do at this moment. Why cannot I renounce the world the ways of which I have seen and despise from my soul? What attachments have I to it, guilty ones accepted? What I to continue then, when I have sworn? Oh, Christ! What has come to me now? Can a virtuous connection with the sex work miracles? But you cannot inform me having never made such. And who the devil can till they marry?  I hope you will thank me for making you my confidant, and what is more, writing you so enormous a long letter. Most likely I shall enhance your obligation by continuing my correspondence, as I do not know when I shall quit what appears to me my earthly paradise. Whether you will congratulate me from your heart, I know not, because you may, possibly imagine, from some virtuous emanations which have burst forth in the course of this epistle, that you shall lose your old companion. No, no, not quite so bad neither. Though I am plaguey, squeamishly present, a little town air will set all the rights again, and I shall, no doubt, fall into my old track with redoubled alacrity from this recess. So, don't despair, my old friend, you will always find me, your lordship's devoted W. Stanley. Letter two. Two of the same. What a restless, discontented animal is man, even in paradise unblessed. Do you know I am, the surrounded with felicity, languishing for sin and sea-call in your regions? I shall be vapoured to death if I stay here much longer. Here is nothing to exercise the bright genius with which I am endued, all one calm sunshine, and days of peace to still succeed, to nights of calm repose. I won't fit to charm a soul like mine. I, who love everything that the moderners call pleasure, I must be amongst you and that presently. My Julia, I am certain, will make no resistance to my will. Faith, she is the wife for me. Mild, passive, devious, and innocent. I may lead my life just as I please, and she, dear creature, will have no idea that I am a very good husband. And when I am weary of wandering all day, to thee, my delight, in the evening I come. I did intend, when first I began my correspondence with your lordship, to have informed you of the whole process of this affair. But upon my soul you must excuse me. From being idle, I am become perfectly indolent. Besides, it is unfashionable to talk so much of one's wife. I shall only say I endeavoured by all those little attentions which are so easily assumed by us to gain her affections, and at the same time to make sure work declared myself informed to her father. One day, when I could hobble about, I took occasion to say to Mr. Grenville that I was meditating a return for his civilities, which is no other than running away with his daughter, Julia. That, in the whole course of my life, I had never seen a woman whom I thought so capable of making me happy. And that, were my proposals acceptable to him, and her, it would be my highest felicity to render her situation such. I saw the old man was inwardly pleased. In very polite terms, he assured me, he should have no objection to such an alliance, if Julia's heart made none. That although, for very particular reasons, he had quarrelled with the world, he did not wish to seclude his children from partaking of its pleasures. He owned, he thought Julia seemed to have an inclination to see more of it than he had had an opportunity of sharing her. And that, as he had, for ever, renounced it, there was no protector, after a father, so proper as a husband. He then paid me some compliments, which, perhaps, had his acquaintance been of as longstanding as yours and mine, he might have thought rather above my dessert. But he knows no more of me than he has heard from me. And the devil is in it, if a man won't speak well of himself when he has an opportunity. It was some time before I could bring myself to the pious resolution of marrying. I was extremely desirous of practicing a few maneuvers first, just to try the strength of the citadel, that Madame Housekeeper would have blown me up. You are in love with my master's daughter, said she one day to me. If you make honourable proposals, I have not a doubt but they will be accepted. If I find you endeavouring to gain her heart in a clandestine manner, remember you are in my power. My faithful services in this family have given me some influence, and I will certainly use it for their advantage. The best and loveliest of her sex shall not be left to pray to the artful insinuating practices of a man too well versed in the science of deceit.  I took the old matron's advice, as it so perfectly accorded with my own wishes. The gentle Julia made no objection, vanity apart. I certainly have some attractions, especially in the eyes of an innocent young creature, who yet never saw a reasonable being besides her father, and who had likewise a secret inclination to know a little how things go in the world. I shall very soon gratify her wish by taking her to London. I am sick to death of the constant routine of circumstances here, the same to-day, to-morrow, and for ever. Your mere good kind of people are really very insipid sort of folks, and as such totally unsuited to my taste. I shall therefore lead them to their pious meditations in a short time, and whirl my little Julia into the giddy circle where alone true joy is to be met with. I shall not invite her sister to accompany her, as I have an invincible dislike to the idea of marrying a whole family. Besides, sisters sometimes are more quick-witted than wives, and I begin to think, though from whence she has gained her knowledge I know not. I hope, honestly, that Louisa is mistress of more penetration than my rib. She is more serious, consequently more observing, and attentive. Self is fixed on. As sweet will be a Welsh fee de chambre, he klept Winifred, and an old male domestic, who at present acts in capacity of groom to me, and who, I foresee, will soon be the bout of my whole house. As he is chiefly composed of Welsh materials, I conclude we shall have fine work with him among our bold spree of the motley tribe. I shall leave Taffy to work his way as he can. But ever unfight the own battles, I say. I hate to interfere in any kind of business.  Assure them of my best wishes. I was going to say, services. But, alas, I am not my own master. I am married. After that, may I venture to include myself yours. W. Stanley. End of Letters 1 and 2. By Georgiana Cavendish, Duchess of Devonshire. Letter 3 To Miss Grenville How strange does it seem, my dearest Louisa, to address you at this distance.  I am a wretched reasoner at best. I am therefore at a loss to unravel this mystery. It is true it became my duty to follow my husband, but that a duty so newly entered into should supersede all others is certainly strange. You will say, you wonder these thoughts did not arise sooner? They did, my dear. But the continual agitation of my spirits since I married prevented my paying any attention to them. Perhaps those who have been accustomed to the bustles of the world would laugh at my talking of the agitation of spirits in the course of an affair which was carried on with the most methodical exactness. But then it is there being accustomed to bustles which could ensure their composure on such an important occasion. I am young and inexperienced, and what is worst of all a perfect stranger to the disposition of Sir William. He may be a very good sort of man, yet he may have some faults which are at present unknown to me. I am resolved, however, to be as indulgent to them as possible should I discover any, and as for my own I will strive to conceal them under an implicit obedience to his will and pleasure. As to giving you an account of this hurrying place it is totally out of my power. I made Sir William laugh very heartily several times at my ignorance. We came into town at a place called Piccadilly where there was such a crowd of carriages of all sorts that I was perfectly astonished and absolutely frightened. I begged Sir William would order the drivers to stop till they were gone by. This entreaty threw him almost into a convulsion of laughter at my simplicity, but I was still more amazed when he told me they would continue driving with the same vehemence all night. For my part I could not hear my own voice for the continual rattle of coaches, etc. I still could not help thinking it must be some particular rejoicing day from the immense concourse of people I saw rushing from all quarters, and yet Sir William assured me the town was very empty. Mercy defend us, cried Winifred when I informed her what her master had said. What a place must it be when it is full, for the people have not room to walk as it is. I cautioned Win to discover her ignorance as little as possible, but I doubt both mistress and maid will be subjects of mirth for some time to come. I have not yet seen anything as there is a ceremony to be observed among people of rank in this place. No married lady can appear in public till she has been properly introduced to their majesties. Alas, what will become of me upon an occasion so singular? Sir William has been so obliging as to bespeak the protection of a lady who is perfect mistress of the etiquettes of courts. She will pay me a visit previous to my introduction, and under her tuition I am told I have nothing to fear. All my hopes are that I may acquit myself so as to gain the approbation of my husband. Husband, what a sound has that when pronounced by a girl barely seventeen, and one whose knowledge of the world is merely speculative. One who, born in bread and obscurity, is equally unacquainted with men and manners. I have often revolved in my mind what could be the inducement of my father's total seclusion from the world. For what little hinsai and you whose penetration is deeper than mine could gather have only served to convince us he must have been extremely ill-treated by it to have been constrained to make a vow never again to enter into it. And in my mind the very forming of a vow looks as if he had loved it to excess and therefore made his retreat from it more solemn than a bare resolution lest he might, from a change of circumstances or sentiments, again be seduced by its attractions and by which he had suffered so much. Do you know, I have formed the wish of knowing some of those incidents in his history which have governed his actions. Will you, my dear Louisa, hint this to him? He may, by such a communication, be very serviceable to me who am such a novice. I foresee I shall stand in need of instructors. Otherwise I shall make but an indifferent figure in the drama. Every thing and every body makes an appearance so widely opposite to my former notions that I find myself every moment at a loss and know not to whom to apply for information. I am apprehensive I shall tire Sir William to death with my interrogatories. Besides, he gave me much such a hint as I gave when not to betray my ignorance to every person I met with, and yet, without asking questions, I shall never attain the knowledge of some things which, to me, appear extremely singular. The ideas I possessed while among the mountains seem entirely useless to me here. Nay, I begin to think I might as well have learnt nothing, and that the time and expense which were bestowed on my education were all lost since I even do not know how to walk a minuet properly. Would you believe it? Sir William has engaged a dancing master to put me into a genteel and polite method of acquitting myself with propriety on the important circumstance of moving about a room gracefully. Shall I own, I felt myself mortified when he made the proposition. I could even have shed tears at the humiliating figure I made in my own eyes. However, I had resolution to overcome such an appearance of weakness and turned it off with a smile saying, I thought I had not stood in need of any accomplishment since I had had sufficient to gain his affections. I believe he saw I was hurt and therefore took some pains to reassure me. He told me that, though my person was faultless yet from my seclusion from it, I wanted an heir of the world. He himself saw nothing but perfection in me, but he wished those who were not blinded by passion should think me not only the most beautiful but likewise the most polished woman at court. Is there not a little vanity in this, Louisa? But Sir William is, I find, a man of the world, and it is my duty to comply with everything he judges proper to make me what he chooses. Monsieur Fierville pays me great compliments. Who is he, you will ask? Why, my dancing master, my dear? I am likewise to take some lessons on the harpsichord, as Sir William finds great fault with my fingering and thinks I want taste in singing. I always looked on taste as genuine and inherent to ourselves, but here taste is to be acquired, and what is infinitely more astonishing still, it is variable. So, though I may dance and sing in taste now, a few months hence I may have another method to learn which will be the taste then. It is a fine time for teachers when scholars are never taught. We used to think to be made perfect mistress of anything was sufficient, but in this world it is very different. You have a fresh lesson to learn every winter. As a proof, they had last winter one of the first singers in the world at the opera house. This winter they had one who surpassed her. This assertion you and I should think nonsense since, according to our ideas, nothing can exceed perfection. The next who comes over will be superior to all others that ever arrived. The reason is, everyone has a different mode of singing.  These things appearing comprehensible to me, but I suppose use will reconcile me to them as it does others, by whom they must once have been thought strange. I think I can discover Sir William Stanley has great pride, that is, he is a slave to fashion. He is ambitious of being a leading man. His house, his equipage, and wife, in short everything which belongs to him must be admired, and I can see he is not a little flattered when they meet with approbation, although from persons of whose taste and knowledge of life he has not the most exalted idea. It would look very ungrateful in me if I was to make any complaints against my situation, and yet would it not be more so to my father and you if I was not to say, I was happier whilst with you? I certainly was. I will do Sir William the justice to say he contributed to make my last two months residents very pleasant. He was the first lover I ever had, at least the first that ever told me he loved. The distinction he paid me certainly made some impression on my heart. Every female has a literal vanity, but I must enlarge my stock before I can have a proper confidence in myself in this place. My singing master has just been announced. He is a very great man in his way, so I must not make him wait. Besides, my letter is already a pretty reasonable length. Adieu, my dearest sister. Say everything dubious and affectionate for me to my father, and tell yourself that I am ever yours, Julia Stanley. END OF LETTER III I was yesterday introduced to the loveliest woman in the universe, Stanley's wife. Yes, that happy dog is still the favorite of fortune. How does he try in front of me on every occasion? If he had a soul of worth, what a treasure he would possess in such an angel, but he will soon grow tired even of her. What immense pains did he take to supplant me in the affections of Lucy Gardner, though he has since sworn to you and many others he proposed no other advantage to himself than rivaling me, and conquering her prejudices in my favor. He thinks I have forgot all this, because I did not call him to an account for his ungenerous conduct, and because I still style him, my friend. But let him have a care. My revenge only slept till a proper opportunity called it forth. As to retaliating by endeavouring to obtain any of his mistresses, that was too trivial satisfaction for me, as he is too flagmatic to be hurt by such an attempt. I flutter myself, I shall find an opening by and by, to convince him that I have neither forgotten the injury, or am of a temper to let slip on occasion, of piercing his heart by a method effectual and secure. Men who delight to disturb the felicity of others are most tenacious of their own, and Stanley, who has allowed himself such latitude of intrigue in other men's families, will very sensibly fill any stain on his. But of this in future. Let me return to Lady Stanley. She is not a perfect beauty, which if you are of my taste, you will think rather an advantage than not, as there is generally a formality in great regularity of features, at most times an insipidity. In her there are neither. She is in one word animated nature, her height is proper, and excellently well proportioned. I might say exquisitely formed. Her figure as such, as at once creates esteem, and gives birth to the tenderest desires. Stanley seemed to take pleasure in my commendations. I wanted you to see her, my lord, said he.  May I introduce Julia, without blushing, through apprehension of her disgracing me. You know my sentiments. I must be applauded by the world. Lovely as I yet thinker, she would be the object of my hate, and I should despise myself if she is not admired by the whole court. It is the only apology I can make to myself for marrying at all.  I suppose he must be cuckolded by half the town to be convinced his wife has charms. Lady Stanley is extremely observant of her husband at present, because he is the only man who has paid her attention. But when she finds she is the only woman who is distinguished by his indifference, which will soon be the case, she will likewise see and be grateful for the assiduities paid her by other men. One of the first of those I intend to be. I shall not let you into the plan of operations at present. Besides, it is impossible till I know more of my ground to mark out my scheme. Chance often performs that for us, which the most judicious reflection cannot bring about, and I have the whole campaign before me. I think myself pretty well acquainted with the failings in weak parts in Stanley, and you may assure yourself I shall avail myself of them. I do not want penetration, and doubt not from the free access which I have gained in the family, but I shall soon be master of the ruling passion of her ladyship. She is, as yet, a total stranger to the world. Her character is not yet established. She cannot know herself. She only knows that she is handsome. That secret, I presume, nature has informed her of. Her husband has confirmed it, and she liked him because she found in him a coincidence of opinion. But all that rapturous nonsense will and must soon have an end. As to the beauties of mine, he has no more idea of them than we have of a sixth sense. What he knows not he cannot admire. She will soon find herself neglected. But at the same time she will find the loss of a husband's praise amply supplied by the devoirs of a hundred all equal and many superior to him. At first she may be uneasy, but repeated flattery will soon console her, and the man who can touch her heart needs fear nothing. Everything else, as Lord Chesterfield justly observes, will then follow, of course. By which assertion, whatever the world may think, he certainly pays a great compliment to the fair sex. Men may be rendered vicious by a thousand methods, but there is only one way to subdue women. Whom do you think he has introduced a chaperones to his wife? Lady Bessford and Lady Anne Parker. You do not admire his choice? Oh, they will be charming associates for her. But I have nothing to say against it, as I think their counsels will further my schemes. Lady Bessford might not be so much a miss, but Lady Anne, think of her, with whom he is belied if he has not had an affair. What madness! It is like him, however. Let him then take the consequences of his folly. And such clever fellows as you and I the advantage of them. Adieu, dear Jack. I shall see you, I hope, as soon as you come to town. I shall want you in a scheme I have in my head, but which I do not think proper to trust to paper. Yours, Bidolf. End of LETTER IV. LETTER V. OF THE SILF. This is a LibriVox recording. All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain. For more information or to volunteer, please visit LibriVox.org. Recording by Devorah Allen. The Silf by Georgiana Cavendish, Duchess of Devonshire. LETTER V. To Lady Stanley. I have lost you, my Julia. And who shall supply your loss? How much am I alone? And yet, if you are happy, I must and will be satisfied. I should, however, be infinitely more so if you had any companion to guide your footsteps through the devious path of life. I wish you some experienced director. Have you not yet made an acquaintance which may be useful to you? Though you are prevented appearing in public, yet I think it should have been Sir William's first care to provide you with some agreeable, sensible female friend, one who may love you as well as your Louisa, and may, by having lived in the world, have it more in her power to be of service to you. My father misses you as much as I do. I will not repeat all he says, lest you should think he repents of his complying with Sir William's importunity. Write to us very often and tell us you are happy. That will be the only consolation we can receive in your absence. Oh, this vow! It binds my father to this spot. Not that I wish to enter into the world. I doubt faithlessness and insincerity are very prevalent there, since they could find their way among our mountains. But let me not overcloud your sunshine. I was, you know, always of a serious turn. May no accident make you so, since your natural disposition is cheerfulness itself. I read your letter to my father.  He will enter on the task very soon. There is nothing he says which can, from the nature of things, be a guide to you in your passage through the world, any farther than not placing too much confidence in the prospect of felicity, with which you see yourself surrounded. But always to keep in mind, we are but in a state of probation here, and consequently but for a short time. That as our happiness is liable to change, we ought not to prize the possession so much as to render ourselves miserable when that change comes. Neither, when we are repressed with the rod of affliction, should we sink into despair, as we are certain our woe, like ourselves, is mortal. Receive the blessing of our only parent, joined with the affectionate love of a tender sister. As high time, my dear Spencer, to account to you for the whimsical journey, as you called it, which your friend undertook so suddenly. I meant not to keep that, or even my motives for it, a secret from you. The esteem you have ever shown me merit it my most unlimited confidence. You said you thought I must have some other view than merely to visit the ruins of a paternal estate, lost to me by the extravagant folly of my poor father. You said true, I had indeed some other view, but alas how blast it is that view! Long had my heart cherished the fondest attachment for the loveliest and best of human beings, who inhabited the mountains, which once my father owned. My fortune was too circumscribed to disclose my flame, but I secretly indulged it from the remote hope of having it one day in my power to receive her hand without blushing at my inferiority and point of wealth. These thoughts, these wishes, have supported me through an absence of two years from my native land, and all that made my native land dear to me. Her loved idea heightened every joy I received, and softened every care. I knew I possessed her esteem, but I never, from the first of my acquaintance, gave the least hint of what I felt for her, or hoped from her. I should have thought myself base in the highest degree to have made an interest in her bosom, which I had nothing to sport on my side but the sanguine wishes of youth that some turn a fortune's wheel might be in my favor. You know how amply, as well as unexpectedly, I am now provided for by our dear Frederick's death. How severely have I felt and mourned his loss, but he is happier than any situation which our friendship for him could have found.  Besides, I have something more to the purpose at present to communicate to you. All the satisfaction that I ever expected from the acquisition of fortune was to share it with my love. Nothing but that hope and prospect could have enabled me to sustain the death of my friend. In the bosom of my Julia, I fondly hoped to experience those calm delights which his loss deprived me of for some time. Alas, that long-indulged hope has sunk in despair. Oh, my Spencer, she's lost to me forever. Yet what right had I to think she would not be seen in being seen, admired, loved, and courted? But from the singularity of her father's disposition, who had vowed never to mix in the world, the disappointment of the tenderest kind which her elder sister had met with, and the almost monastic seclusion from society in which she lived, joined to her extreme youth, being but seventeen the day I left you in London. All these circumstances, I say, concurred once to authorize my fond hopes, and these hopes have nursed my despair. Oh, I knew not how much I loved her till I saw her snatch from me forever. A few months sooner and I might have pleaded some merit with a lovely maid from my long and unremitted detachment. My passion was interwoven with my existence. With that it grew, and with that only will expire. My dear-loved Julia from my youth began the tender flame, and ripened in the man. My dear-loved Julia to my latest age, no other vow shall air my heart engage. Full of the fond ideas which seemed a part of myself, I flew down to Woodley Vale to reap the lie-expected harvest of my hopes. Good God, what was the fatal news I learned on my arrival? Alas, she knew not of my love and constancy. She had a few weeks before given her hand, and no doubt her heart, to Sir William Stanley, with whom an accident had brought her acquainted. I will not enlarge upon what were my feelings on this occasion. Words would be too faint a vehicle to express the anguish of my soul. You who know the tenderness of my disposition must judge for me. Yesterday I saw the dear angel from the inn from whence I am riding. She and her happy husband stopped here for fresh horses. I had a full view of her beautyous face. Ah, how much has two years improved each charm in her lovely person. Lovely and charming, but not for me. I kept myself concealed from her. I could hardly support the sight of her at a distance. My emotions were more violent than you can conceive. Her dress became her the best in the world, a riding habit of stone-colored cloth lined with rose color and frogs of the same. The collar of her shirt was open at the neck, and discovered her lovely ivory throat. Her hair was in a little disorder, which with her hat served to contribute to and heighten the almost irresistible charms of her features. There was a pensiveness in her manner, which rendered her figure more interesting and touching than usual. I thought I'd discovered the traces of a tear on her cheek. She had just parted with her father and sister, and had she shown less concern I should not have been so satisfied with her. I gazed till my eyeballs ached. But when the chase drove from the door, oh, what then became of me? She's gone. She's gone, I exclaimed aloud, wringing my hands, and never knew how much I loved her. I was almost in the state of madness for some hours. At last my storm of grief and despair a little subsided, and I by degrees became calm and more resigned to my ill fate. I took the resolution which I shall put in execution, as soon as possible, to leave England. I will retire to the remaining part of my Frederick's family, and in their friendship seek to forget the pangs which an habitual tenorness has brought upon me. You who are at ease may have it in your power to convey some small satisfaction to my wounded breast. But why do I say small satisfaction? To me it will be the highest to hear that my Julie is happy. Do you then, my dear Spencer, inquire among your acquaintance, the character of this Sir William Stanley? His figure is genteel, may rather handsome, yet he does not look the man I could wish for her. I did not discover that look of tenderness, that soft and passioned glance which virtuous love excites, but you will not expect a favorable picture from a rival's pen. I mentioned a disappointment which the sister of my Julia had sustained. It was just before I left England. While on a visit at Aberganenny she became acquainted with a young gentleman of fortune who, after taking some pains to render himself agreeable, had the satisfaction of gaining the affections of one of the most amiable girls in the world. She is all that a woman can be, except being my Julia. Louisa was at that time extremely attached to a lady in the same house with her, who was by no means a favorite with her lover. They used frequently to have little arguments concerning her. He would not allow her any merit. Louisa fancied she saw her own image reflected in the bosom of her friend. She is warm in her attachments. Her zeal for her friend at last awakened a curiosity in her lover to view her with more scrutiny. He had been accustomed to paying an implicit obedience to Louisa's opinion. He fancied he was still acquiescing, only in that opinion when he began to discover she was handsome, and to find some farther beauties which Louisa had not painted in so favorable a light as he now saw them. In short, what at first was only a compliment to his mistress now seemed to do of the other. He thought Louisa had hardly done her justice, and in seeking to repair that fault he injured the woman who doted on him. Love which in some cases is blind is, in others, extremely quick-sighted. Louisa saw change in his behavior, the studied civility, an apprehension of not appearing sufficiently assiduous, frequent expressions of fearing to offend, and all those mean arts and subterfuges which a man uses who wants to put in a woman's power to break with him that he may basely shelter himself behind what he styles her cruelty. Wounded to the soul with the duplicity of his conduct, she one day insisted on knowing the modus which induced him to act in so disingenuous a manner by her. At first his answers were evasive, but she preemptorily urged an explicit satisfaction. She told him the most unfavorable certainty would be happiness to what she now felt, and that certainty she now called on him, justice, to grant her. He then began by palliating the fatal inconstancy of his affections by the encomiums which she had bestowed on her friend, that his love for her had induced him to love those dear to her. And some unhappy circumstances had arisen which had bound him to her friend beyond his power or inclination to break through. This disappointment and so early a part of Louisa's life has given a tenderness to her whole frame, which is of advantage to most women, and her in particular. She has, I question not, long since beheld this unworthy wretch in the light he truly deserved, yet no doubt it was not till she had suffered many pangs. The heart will not recover its usual tone in a short time. That has long been wracked with the agonies of love, and even when we fancy ourselves quite recovered there is an aching void which still reminds us of former anguish. I shall not be in town these ten days at least, as I find I can be serviceable to a poor man in this neighborhood whom I believe to be an object worthy of attention. Write me therefore what intelligence you can obtain, and scruple not to communicate the result of your inquiry to me speedily. Her happiness is the wish next to my heart. O, may it be as exalted and as permanent as I wish it. I will not say anything to you. You well know how dear you are to the bosom of your Henry Woodley. Letter 7 To Henry Woodley, Esquire No, my dear Harry. I can never consent to your burying yourself abroad. But I will not say all I could on that subject till we meet. I think I shall then be able to offer you some very powerful reasons that you will esteem sufficient to induce you to remain in your native land. I have a scheme in my head, but which I shall not communicate at present. Sir William Stanley is quite a man of fashion. Do you know enough of the world to understand all that title comprehends? If you do, you will sincerely regret your Julia is married to a man of fashion. His passions are the rule and guide of his actions. Do what mischiefs is a young creature exposed in this town, circumstanced as Lady Stanley is, without a friend or relation with her, to point out the artful and designing wretch, who means to make a prey of her innocence and inexperience of life. The most unsafe and critical situation for a woman is to be young, handsome, and married to a man of fashion. These are thought to be lawful prey to the species of our sex. As a man of fashion, Sir William Stanley would blush to be found too attentive to his wife. He will leave her to seek what companions' chance may throw in her way, while he is associating with rakes of quality, and glorying in those scenes in which to be discovered he would really blush. I am told he is fond of deep play, attaches himself to woman of bad character, and seeks to establish an opinion that he is quite the ton in everything. I tremble for your Julia. Her beauty, if she had no other merit making her fashionable, will induce some of those wretches who are ever upon the watch to ensnare the innocent, to practice their diabolical artifices to poison her mind. She will soon see herself neglected by her husband, and that will be the signal for them to begin their attack. She is totally unhackneyed in the ways of men, and consequently can form no idea of the extreme depravity of their hearts. May the innate virtue of her mind be her guide and support, but to escape with honour and reputation will be a difficult task. I must see you, Harry. I have something in my mind. I have seen more of the world than you have. For a whole year I was witness of the disorder of this great town, and with blushes, I write, have too frequently joined in some of its extravagances and follies. But, thank heavens, my eyes were opened before my morals became corrupt, while my fortune and constitution impaired. Your virtue and my Frederick's confirmed me in the road I was then desirous of pursuing, and I am now convinced I shall never deviate from the path of rectitude. I expect you in town with all the impatience of a friend zealous for your happiness and advantage, but I wish not to interfere with any charitable or virtuous employment. When you have finished your affairs, remember your faithful, J. Spencer. End of LETTER VII. Recording by Todd. LETTER VIII. This is the LibriVox recording. All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain. For more information or to volunteer, please visit LibriVox.org. Recorded by Céline Major. The SIL. By Georgiana Cavendish, Duchess of Devonshire. LETTER VIII. To Miss Grenville. Surrounded with Mantua-makers, milleners, and hairdressers, I blush to say I have hardly time to bestow on my dear Louisa. What a continual bustle do I live in without having literally anything to do. All these wonderful preparations are making for my appearance at court, and in consequence of that, my visiting all the places of public amusement. I foresee my head will be turned with this whirl of folly, I am inclined to call it, in contradiction to the opinion of mankind. If the people I am among are of any character at all, I may comprise it in a few words. To me, they seem to be running about all the morning and throwing away time, in concerting measures to throw away more in the evening. Then, as to dress, to give an idea of that, I must reverse the line of an old song. What was our shame is now our pride. I have had a thousand patterns of silks brought to me to make choice, and such colors as yet never appeared in a rainbow. A very elegant man, one of Sir William's friends, I thought, was introduced to me the other morning. I was preparing to receive him as a visitor, when, taking out his pocketbook, he begged I would do him the honor to inspect some of the most fashionable patterns and of the newest taste. He gave me a list of their names as he laid them on the cuff of his coat. This you perhaps will think unnecessary, and that, as colors affect the visual or, they're same in different people, I might have been capable of distinguishing blue from red and so on, but the case is quite otherwise. There are no such colors now. This, your ladyship, will find extremely becoming. It is les chevaux de la reine. But the color de puce is esteemed before it, and mixed with tertois, forms the most elegant assemblage in the world. The ponçant is immensely rich, but to suit your ladyship's complexion, I would rather recommend the Fayemort or La Noisette. Fifty others equally unintelligible, he ran off with the utmost facility. I thought, however, so important a point should be determined by wiser heads than mine, therefore requested him to leave them with me as I expelled some ladies on whose taste I had great reliance. As I cannot be supposed from the nature of things to judge for myself with any propriety, I shall leave the choice of my clothes to Lady Bessford and Lady Anne Parker, two ladies who have visited me and are to be my protectors in public. I was extremely shocked when I sent for a Mantua-maker to find a man was to perform that office. I even refused a long time to admit him near me, and thinking myself perfectly safe that I should have him on my side appeal to Sir William. He laughed at my ridiculous scruples as he called them, and Father told me, Custom justified everything. Nothing was indecent or otherwise but as it was that don't. I was silent but neither satisfied or pleased, and submitted I believe with but an ill grace. Lady Bessford was so extremely polite to interest herself in everything concerning my making a fashionable appearance, and procured for me a French freezer of the last importation who dressed hair to a miracle au dernier goût. I believe, Louisa, I must send you a dictionary of polite phrases, or you will be much at a loss, notwithstanding you have a pretty competent knowledge of the French tongue. I blush twenty times a day at my own stupidity, and then Sir William tells me, it is so immensely bore to blush, which makes me blush ten times more because I don't understand what he means by that expression, and I am afraid to discover my ignorance. And he has not patience to explain every ambiguous word he uses, but cries shrugging up his shoulders, ah, quel sauvage, and then composes his ruffled spirits by humming an Italian air. Well, but I must tell you what my dress was in which I was presented. My gown was a silver tissue trimmed with silver net, and tied up with roses as large as life I was going to say. Indeed it was very beautiful, and so it ought, for it came to a most enormous sum. My jewels are many-feek and in immense quantities. Do you know I could not find out half their purposes, or what I should do with them, for such things I never saw? What should poor Wynn and I have done by ourselves? Lady Bessford talked of sending her woman to assist me in dressing. I told her I had a servant to whom I had been accustomed for a long time. Ah, for heaven's sake, my dear creature, exclaimed my husband. Don't mention the Tramontane. She might do tolerably well for the Welsh mountains, but she will cut a most outre figure in the Beaumont. I beg you, will accept a Lady Bessford's polite offer, till you can provide yourself with a fide chambre that knows on which side her right hand hangs. Alas, poor Winnifred Jones, her mistress I doubt has but few advantages over her. Lady Bessford was lavish in the anconyms of her woman who had had the honor of being dresser to one of the actresses many years. Yesterday morning the grand task of my decoration was to commence. Ah, good Lord, I can hardly recollect particulars. I am morally convinced my father would have been looking for his Julia had he seen me, and would have spent much time before he discovered me in the midst of feathers, flowers and a thousand gougas beside, too many to enumerate. I will, if I can, describe my head for your edification, as it appeared to me when Monsieur permitted me to view myself in the glass. I was absolutely ready to run from it with fright like poor Actaeon when he had suffered the displeasure of Diana, and, like him, was in danger of running my new acquired ornaments against everything in my way. Monsieur elighted from his chariot about eleven o'clock and was immediately announced by Griffith, who, poor soul, stared as if he thought him one of the finest men in the world. He was attended by a servant who brought in two very large caravan boxes and a number of other things. Monsieur then prepared to begin his operations. Sir William was at that time in my dressing room. He begged, for God's sake, that Monsieur would be so kind as to exert his abilities as everything depended on the just impression my figure made. Monsieur bowed and shrugged just like an overgrown monkey. In a moment I was overwhelmed with a cloud of powder. What are you doing? I do not mean to be powdered, I said. Not powdered, repeated Sir William. Why, you would not be so barbarous as to appear without. It positively is not decent. I thought, answered I, you used to admire the color of my hair. How often have you praised its glossy hue and called me your nut-brown maid? Faux-faux, said he, blushing, perhaps lest you should be suspected of tenderness as that is very vulgar. I can bear to see a woman without powder and summer, but now the case is otherwise. Monsieur knows what he is about. Don't interrupt or dictate to him. I am going to dress. Adieu, Mesharmont. With a determination of being passive I sat down under his hands. Often I confess wondering what kind of being I should be in my metamorphosis. And rather impatient of the length of time to say nothing of the pain I felt under the pulling and frizzing and rubbing in the exquisitely scented pomade de Venus. At length, the words, vous êtes finie, madame, au dernier goût, were pronounced, and I rose with precaution lest I should discompose my new-built fabric and to give a glance at myself in the glass. But where or in what language shall I ever find words to express my astonishment at the figure which presented itself to my eyes? What with curls, flowers, ribbons, feathers, lace, jewels, fruit, and ten thousand other things, my head was at least from one side to the other full half and all wide from the lowest girl that lay on my shoulder up to the top I am sure I am with encompass if I say three quarters of a yard high. Besides six enormous large feathers, black, white, and pink, that reminded me of the plumes which knotted on the immense cask in the castle of Otranto. Good God! I exclaimed, I can never bear this. The man assured me I was dressed quite in taste. Let me be dressed as I will, I answered, I must and will be altered. I would not thus expose myself for the universe. Saying which I began pulling down some of the prodigious and monstrous fabric, the dresser of the actresses exclaimed loudly and the frisire remonstrated. However, I was inflexible. But to stop the volubility of the Frenchman's tongue I inquired how much I was indebted to him for making me a monster. A mere trifle, half a guinea the dressing and for the feathers, pins, wool, false girls, chignon, toques, pomades, flowers, wax, fruit, ribbons, et cetera, et cetera, he believes about four guineas would be the difference. I was almost petrified with astonishment. When I recovered the power of utterance I told him. I thought at least he should have informed me what he was about before he ran me to so much expense. Three-fourths of the things were useless as I would not by any means appear in them. It was the same to him, he said. They were now my property. He had run the risk of disobliging the Duchess of D. Blank by giving me the preference of the finest bundles of radishes that had yet come over. But this it was to degrade himself by dressing commoners. Lady Besford had entreated this favour from him, but he must say he had never been so ill-treated since his arrival in this kingdom. In short, he flew out of the room in a great rage, leaving me in the utmost disorder. I begged Mrs. Freeman, so her ladyship's woman is called, to assist me a little in undoing what the impertinent Frenchman had taken such immense pains to affect. I had sacrificed half a bushel of trempery when Lady Besford was ushered into my dressing-room. Lord bless me, my dear Lady Stanley, what still disabye? I thought you had been ready and waiting for me. I began by way of apology to inform her ladyship of Mrs. Insolence. She looked serious and said, I am sorry you offended him. I fear he will represent you at her grace's ruelle and you will be the jest of the whole court. Indeed, this is a sad affair. He is the first man in his walk of life. And if he was the last, I rejoined, it would be better. However, I beg your ladyship's pardon for not being ready. I shall not detain you many minutes.  You know I am naturally small at bottom, but now you might literally span me. You never saw such a doll. Then they are so intolerably wide across the breast that my arms are absolutely sore with them. And my sides so pinched. But it is the tone and pride feels no pain. It is with these sentiments the ladies of the present age heal their wounds. To be admired is a sufficient balsam. Sir William had met with the affronted Frenchman and like Lady Bessford was full of apprehensions lest he should expose me. For my part I was glad to be from under his hands at any rate and feared nothing when he was gone, only still vexed at the strange figure I made. My husband freely condemned my behavior as extremely absurd, and on my saying I would have something to cover or at least shade my neck for that I thought it hardly decent to have that entirely bare while one's head was loaded with superfluities.  I thought this speech very cutting. I could not restrain a tear from starting. I hope not, Sir William, said I, but lest I should I will stay at home till I have properly learned to submit to insult an absurdity without emotion. My manner made him ashamed. He took my hand and kissing it begged my pardon and added, My dear creature, I want you to be admired by the whole world, and in compliance with the taste of the world we must submit to things which from their novelty we may think absurd, but use will reconcile them to you. Lady Bessford encouraged me and I was prevailed on to go though very much out of spirits. I must break off here for the present. This letter has been the work of some days already. Hadir in continuation My apprehensions increased each moment that brought us near Saint James, but there was nothing for it. So I endeavored all in my power to argue myself into a serenity of mind and succeeded beyond my hopes. The amiable condescension of their majesties, however, contributed more than anything to compose my spirits or what I believe to be near the true state of the case, I was absorbed in respect for them and totally forgot myself. They were so obliging as to pay Sir William some compliments, and the king said, if all my country women were like me, he should be afraid to trust his son thither. I observed Sir William with the utmost attention. I saw his eyes were on me the whole time, but, my Louisa, I cannot flatter myself so far as to say they were the looks of love. They seemed to me rather the eyes of scrutiny which were on the watch, yet afraid they should see something unpleasing. I longed to be at home to know from him how I had acquitted myself. To my question he answered by pressing me to his bosom crying, like an angel by heaven. Upon my soul, Julia, I never was so charmed with you in my life. And upon my honour, I returned, I could not discover the least symptom of tenderness in your regards. I dreaded all the while that you was thinking I should disgrace you. You was never more mistaken. I never had more reason to be proud of any part of my family. The circle rang with your praises. But you must not expect tenderness in public my love. If you meet with it in private you will have no cause of complaint. This will give you but a strange idea of the world I am in, Louisa. I do not above half like it, and think a ramble arm in arm with you upon our native mountains worth it all. However my lot is drawn, and perhaps as times and husbands go I have no cause of complaint. End of letter eight


Good evening and thank you for joining us on Y254 Updates. My name is Patricia Murioki. Talk to us on all our social media platforms that is at Y254 TV. You can also reach me at Patricia Murioki. Tonight we're going to be talking about a very interesting and rather very sensitive topic. We've all probably had of the recent rise of teenage pregnancies in the country that is probably since COVID-19. And to help us talk about this topic tonight is we have two very amazing ladies who I really trust and based on the interactions that I've had with them that they are well-equipped to help us tackle literally every teen pregnancy. And we have Saida Hali who is a feminist activist and a policy analyst. We have Eman Yabisi who is an advocate gender-based violence and a human rights activist. So these people are going to help us tonight to really understand who do we blame? Are we even supposed to be talking about who is responsible? Is it the right way when we talk about 4,000? Probably, for example, in Machaacos County where we talk about more than 4,000 girls impregnated during this period. Are we really supposed to be just talking about that where are the people responsible for these pregnancies? So we're going to have these people help us talk about that tonight. Remember, you can be part of this discussion by sharing your opinions. What do we think should be done? Probably what do we do as a country to make sure that we get to curb this? But before we get to the discussion, we'd like to have a look at probably the current numbers as far as COVID-19 is concerned in the country. And today, based on the press briefing that was given by the CA Health Ministry of Health, Dr. Masi Mongangi, 254 people have tested positive for COVID-19. 41 patients were discharged today and two people, suddenly two people succumbed to the virus which now brings the total numbers in the country has 5,206. That is a total number of confirmed cases in the country. We have 1,823 has a total number of recoveries in the country and we also have 130 has a total number of deaths. Thank you very much for finding the time to join us tonight. I believe you've all seen all these information has been circulating on social media. We've had a different media houses cover these stories. The first thing I'd like to ask Emma, what do you think about these numbers? To you, is this a reality or is there someone who sat down and cooked? Let us first start by ascertaining if these numbers are really true, Emma. I thank you Patricia for the opportunity. You're welcome. Our first, I think we shouldn't be asking whether it is real or not real. The first thing we should ask, what is not going on with our teens? If it is true, what are we supposed to do that we can prevent the same? We shouldn't be asking whether these numbers are there or not because teen pregnancy is an issue in our country. And we need to solve it, yes.  What came into your mind? What is the first thing that you thought about when you saw these numbers? So just building up on what Emma said about the numbers, I think it's important for us to recognize that actually, teen pregnancies, this is a pandemic. It's been going on. What COVID-19 has done is really to blow the lead off, the problem. Based on pre-existing problems that have not been resolved, pre-existing inequalities that have perhaps pushed girls into certain situations. And we like to bury our heads in the sand when it comes to teenage pregnancies and when it comes to situations of adolescent girls and boys. So some of the things that have come to my mind are something you started talking about. Where are the 4,000-plus men or boys responsible for these pregnancies? That's number one. Number two, there's been no empathy at all shown on the girls. When things have gotten so bad, everyone has politicized issues, including the data. There's a lot of... This country has become a bit of a moral circus when it comes to just blaming, shifting goalposts and things like that. But very little has been spoken about where are these girls? What's going to happen to them? What kinds of strategies need to be put in place now that they are in that situation to address how they move forward in a humane way and to also address some layers of what might be the problem that I'm hoping we can get to speak about that. Okay. Said I have mentioned you've talked something about blaming. With the numbers that we've seen, are we to even do justice by probably trying to see who do we blame? Because I was having a conversation with someone and they made a comment where they said mothers should talk to their daughters. And I asked myself, at what point are we going to say mothers and fathers should also talk to their sons? So what is your opinion as far as who is to blame on this matter is concerned? That particular example actually brings out the discourse around gender inequalities and parenting responsibilities and how they're shifting of goalposts when it comes to who is responsible when a child, whether boy or girl has been or has found themselves in a situation that is tricky. And a lot of times and some of the debate we've seen going on has been around mothers should be talking to girls. But actually it should be parents, both mothers and fathers have a responsibility to talk to both girls and boys. Because then when we are saying they should talk to girls, we're also forgetting about a text to tango. So there is a boy or there is a man that has been involved in this situation. And the reason I'm making the distinction between boys and men is in the latter, these are adult men and we do know there are situations of sexual exploitation that have also contributed to these numbers. There are cases of sex that was non-consensual or where defilement of rape may have happened. And so the problem of doing a blanket blaming is that it does not begin to get to the point because if a girl says that she didn't consent and points to a situation where she was raped, it is important to investigate and to have those people responsible arrested and brought to book. And that's part of the debate that is getting lost in this all noise around what I'm calling the moral hula-baloo. Okay, before this conversation ends, I would also like us to touch on consent and really understand through these girls even really understand what consent means. Are they even aware that I'm supposed to give consent before probably someone does one, two, three to me? But before I get to that, I'd like to bring Emma on these. We know that schools have been closed since March 17th due to COVID-19. All these cases, most of them, the rice has happened when we have our students at home and we have our girls and we have our boys at home. Do we say that our teachers are more responsible than our parents? I think no. Our teachers are not more responsible than our parents. Our parents may have loved to talk to the kids about sex, but it doesn't mean they're irresponsible in this subject. The only thing we need to ask ourselves it is how are these parents going to talk to these children because it has been a stigma from time immemorial. Parents are not willing to talk to their children about sex. So the issue is how are you going to let these parents to talk to their children? So for example, we had a meeting on March. Whereby we talked to children at the same time parents. You put them together, tell them that parents, you need to speak to your children about sex. And children, you need to open up to your parents about sex. At the same time, the current crisis happened when children were behind their doors. So there are many other issues that come up. We have social, we have economic, we have legal. So for example, economic, you find that parents are suffering. They don't have enough food for their children. And you find that these parents will force their children, let's say the girls to go out there and fend for themselves. In this case, they'll go under half commercial sex or just half sex for someone to provide for them. So this is a big issue that we need to speak about. If our government could be able to provide for the families right now, whereby the parents are forced to send their daughters out there to go and fend for themselves, it is an issue that we need to cover. Okay. Before we get to the consent question, teenage pregnancies had been fueled by rape, defilement, poverty, early marriages, peer influence, drug abuse, and lack of youth-friendly health services. So I'd like to bring you on these. All these causes that are triggers of teenage pregnancies, what can we do about them to make sure that we don't find a young girl, just because there's one thing that they could not afford, all these people who feel like they're up here and they have overpowered these girls do not take advantage of them? What do we do about all these before now we now come to really understand the consent? Yeah. You know, on this matter, I've been saying to a few friends that we really need to go back to basics as a society. Okay. And part of the basics, and just to take away the whole issue around rape, for example, it's very clear where rape has happened, you know, the criminal justice system needs, and here, I mean, from the police, they have a role in this in terms of making arrests, there is investigations that need to happen, you know, up to the point of prosecution and things like that, like, this is not even a debate we should be negotiating about. Where rape has happened or where sexual exploitation has happened, really the law needs to kick in. And we need to be able to support and we to mean everyone to be able to support what has been put in place. Having said that, again, on the issue of reproductive health matters, and I want to say here, sexual health and rights matters as well. Because sometimes when we talk about reproductive health for adolescents, girls and boys, they may not sometimes identify so much with some of the things being said because they think, oh, you know, if it is just about reproduction, that's not why I want to listen to this discussion. But when we think about it from a rights perspective, then we begin to talk about some of the things that you're saying relate to consent and having parents and everyone who is, say, a guardian understand what those basics are around teaching children. But in terms of what we have as a country, we have lots of policies that are supportive of this issue and the situation of adolescent boys and girls. For instance, we have the adolescent sexual and reproductive health policy in this country. It was passed in 2015. It needs a bit of a review, so that then we can make sure the gaps that are not addressed are put in place. The problem is implementation. The other one, and it's very recent, is the Reproductive Health Care Act 2019, very recent, right? Part of the current debate is that it really needs to be looked at, to be reviewed, and that discussion is already happening, so that then some of the gaps, especially around comprehensive sexuality education, are addressed and so that then what we propose happens is that adolescent boys and girls have the information and they have access to it. So when you look at those policies, then you know that from a Ministry of Health point of view, we're really on the right path because then the policies have been put in place. The problem with this country is implementation. The political will, the putting resources down that are really underlined for making sure that that is happening. And so then it would be important to begin to understand the roles that we have as parents. I am a parent of a daughter and that I do not want to get to a point where I say, the teachers or my child's teacher has the prime and complete responsibility to be doing this. I have a role as a parent and that's why I'm talking about going back to basics. Going back to basics means, Patricia, that some of these parents who are struggling, they don't know what to say to the children. So there needs to be some sort of education for parents as well. And I just want to acknowledge that we have a lot of non-governmental organizations that are doing this work, but the demand is so high. So this is where now government and political will comes in and making sure that there are resources to ensure that there are facilities where adolescents and youth can go. It's friendly for them to be given information because having access to information can serve lives. It's not about I'm getting the information so that I can go and explore it or explore with my body. But this is part of the moral debates that I was referring to. When we say we shouldn't give information to children or to adolescents because people are saying they're much too young and they're going to start engaging in sexual activity. Research has shown that where comprehensive sexuality education exists, there is delayed sexual activity. Why? Because they have an understanding of what it takes, what choices to make and things like that. Okay, we're going to be taking a very short break, but before we go for that break, Emma, I would like to bring you on the consent. Do you think, as an advocate, do you think a 12-year-old, a 13-year-old, a 14-year-old girl really understands what consent means? And as you address that, also look at, please tell us how does the law protect these teenagers as far as consent is involved? Thank you, Patricia, for that question. That question has been in our discussion for long. Even our government wanted to reduce the consent to age to 16, which doesn't even make sense. Yes, a 12-year-old doesn't understand what consent is. If you give me something that I need, let's say you take me out and you tell me I went to have sex, I'll just allow it because I don't understand. The only thing I know you have gifted me and what you want from me, it is sex. So for a 12-year-old to understand what is consent, it is hard. It's for a parent to sit down and tell them, if someone wants to buy something for you, tell them no, if they want sexual gratification after that. And at the Sexual Offense Act, it is clear that the age of consent is 18, and it should mean that. The only thing now we come into, it is about when teenagers get to have sex, that is between peers, what happens after that? Because if a 17-year-old gets to have sex with a 16-year-old, what are we going to do about that? Because all of them are minors. You know, we need to crucify a boy and let the girl walk free because even the girl has had sex with a minor. So there it's another question we are supposed to discuss about.  Should we introduce this? Because, yes, a 16, a 17-year-old might have something to do about consent. So when we talk about that, it's now when we will think about statutory rape, where you find that the Western world has such an allow, but we don't have it.  And this is not their case. So we need to revise our laws and make sure that it accommodates every detail that's happening in our society. Okay. We're going to be taking a very short break, but when we come back, we'll try to look at what age parents should teach us, probably talk about sex education. We're going to be taking a very short break. Don't go far away. We'll be right back for updates. And if you're just joining us, tonight we're talking about the rise of teenage pregnancy. This is based on the recent rise of the cases, since we had COVID-19, since we have our kids at home, or rather we have students at home. And we're trying to just see what can we do. We're trying to see what really needs to be done to make sure that these things really do not happen again. We're trying to talk about consent, try and evaluate, do really, probably 12-year-olds, 13-year-olds, or teenagers, rather, really understand what consent means. And before we get to the sex education, probably at what age, probably we should have discussions as far as sex is concerned with teenagers or even at what age should we do that. That is, Ezekiel Motua, the CEO of the Film Classification Board, said that the 4,000 pregnancies in Machakos County should be blamed on the Machakos musicians because they tend to have... His argument was they have very... Their names, probably their stage names are very vulgar, the type of content. And we also have social media. We have social media, we have the internet. Probably sometimes even parents don't know what the kids are doing on those phones because these days we have kids as young as seven years, being given a smartphone. So what are your thoughts on that side? I think it's problematic to blame... To draw blame on one particular issue. There's a number of contributing factors. And one of them could be that super exposure through, you know, internet, using fonts and tablets and all manner of things that parents are able to afford for their children. But part of why I'm saying we shouldn't be too quick to apportion blame or to look at just a single factor is because some of the children that are affected are actually from very poor families, right? So there are socioeconomic factors that Emma was talking about coming to play. So for them, there is no even access to some of these things. For me, it just goes back to the issue of access to information. And at what point we begin to give information and in what measure to our children. And this is why some of us talk about age-appropriate, comprehensive sexuality education and when need arises. The reason I introduce the issue of need is because you'd ask the question about a 12-year-old, whether a 12-year-old can consent, right? But a 12-year-old will have already started developing. And so as a parent, you should be able to take advantage of those moments, the opportunities that present themselves to offer information to children. So there are children who may ask certain questions and they are five years old. For me, as a parent, I shouldn't just, you know, hash it and say, oh, you know, she is five or is five. So I'm not going to talk about it now. But take advantage of that opportunity being presented and provide information that is to the measure of the understanding of that five-year-old. So that then when that child is 12 years old, what you've been doing is a build-up from where you started. But not to give misinformation at five years and then at seven, you start changing and say, you know, it's actually not that. It is this. So it's important to give information, to take advantage of different opportunities that present themselves, to even start talking about consent, even without talking about sex. And consent here means having children understand the boundaries around their body. And naming body parts for what they are. And understanding that they can say no and it should be respected. And you, as a parent, should be able to respect when your child says no to you and perhaps then have dialogue around what it is that both sides or what the argument is if there is a difference of opinion. And, Mark, this doesn't have to be about sex, but this is what will build onto the conversation around what Emma was saying, that at 12, by that age, then that girl or that boy would be able to say, but I don't think this is something I want to get involved in. Why? Because from the age of three or five, when they ask the question around, should someone really touch me? Then the response that was given was the truth in terms of understanding the boundaries of what their body is. OK. Because of time, I would like us to talk about now, let's talk about probably the teenagers who have access to certain information online. The other day, the Cabinet Secretary, Ministry of Education, said that pornography sites should be banned because this is also something that triggers all these immoral behaviors. Emma, how can parents, what roles now do parents have to probably try and regulate? We know, yes, that children have access to the information, but how can the parent control what, really, the child gets to probably assess online? Or how do they regulate to make sure that we don't just say, we just don't throw them in a pool where there is everything, but we don't really tell them, this is what you will, this is what you do, this is what you don't, Emma. Thank you. Looking at that question, you find that there are many issues that raise from there. You find that one, if you will say that we will start limiting what the children are viewing at our houses, it means these children will find opportunities, they will find the panya route to go and access this information. As we have said, like Sada said, we need to start educating our children from an early age about sex and about the information they gain out there. Let me cut you, when you talk about early age, what age really should we introduce sex education? What age would you say is appropriate? Let's say a kid, a five-year-old comes and asks you, Mama, what do you have here? Why don't I have it? Mama, you are wearing skirts, but daddy is wearing trousers. You don't have to tell them, because trousers are supposed to be trousers. That's when you need to come up and tell them, it is because your father is a man. And men do what? Wear trousers because of ABCD. And me, as a lady, I have books. If it's a God, say to him, one day you will also have them, them like me. Don't bash away the kid and tell them. We'll talk about that later. Ten years, for eight years, ten years, that's when we are going to talk about it. No, start from that point. That's when you start giving them information. If you're going to hide this information from them, they're going to get it from somewhere else.  You may regulate it, but they'll find a way on how to remove all your regulations. Or maybe have access elsewhere. And find access somewhere else. So you find that you need to tell your children what they're supposed to get. If they see pornography, tell them why they are not supposed to watch pornography. Why they should not watch certain songs. Why they should, so that they are able to grow up knowing what is right and what is wrong.  Also talk about when they reach a certain age, tell them, if it's a daughter, tell them, boys will always see you attractive. But you are the ones who are supposed to refrain or say no when they come close to you.  Okay, so time is really not on our side. I think we'll create more time and really have this discussion because it's something I believe we can literally get to midnight while talking about. But thank you very much, ladies, for really finding the time to share your thoughts about this topic. And all I would say is that as parents, as siblings, as the society, we all have a role to play. If you notice something that is not right, that is happening, please make sure that you are able to speak about it. If you are at a position to probably talk to young men and talk to young ladies about probably sex education, about certain things or information that you believe is very important, please do so. And as we continue staying at home, let us continue making sure that we are also, as parents or as guardians, knowing what is my daughter doing, what is my son doing. Thank you very much for joining us. My name is Patricia Murioki. Do have yourselves a very good night.


Yeah, we are the Upper Valley Affinity Group and since 2013 we have been in opposition to TD Bank because initially of its support for the KXL pipeline. So we were here all through the KXL battle when the pipeline was permitted and then not permitted and then permitted again and now is defunct. TD Bank also supported the Dakota Access Pipeline. So we were here against TD Bank because they were supporting that and by supporting I mean millions and millions if not millions of dollars of support through loans but also direct investment. TD Bank also is the fifth greatest owner of stock in Enbridge. Enbridge is the company that was building Line 3 that now despite our opposition, despite the opposition of indigenous people across the country and in northern Minnesota is now in operation and almost as soon as it was in operation was leaking tar sands crude oil. The other thing about TD Bank is that until August of 2017 the state of Vermont kept its entire operating budget in this bank and ran its payroll and all of its service payments through this bank because of our opposition and the opposition of other groups in 2017 that ended. The state no longer keeps its money in this bank. Since May the bank has been closed. Did we do that? Well with some help from a pandemic I think we did. And so today we're here. This is the goodbye party. We're saying goodbye TD, bye bye TD, bye bye. That's the story.