hampooed her hair every day diana alone of outsiders knew the fatal secret but she promised solemnly never to tell and it may be stated here and now that she kept her word at the end of the week marilla said decidedly it's no you san that is fast die if ever there was any your hair must be cut off there is no other way you can't go out with it looking like that and lips quivered but she realized the bitter truth of marilla's remarks with a dismal sigh she went for the scissors please cut it off at once marilla and have it over oh i feel that my heart is broken this is such an unromantic affliction the girls in books lose their hair and fevers or sell it to get money for some good deed and i'm sure i wouldn't mind losing my hair in some such fashion half so much but there is nothing comforting in having your hair cut off because you've dyed it a dreadful color is there i'm going to weep all the time you're cutting it off if it won't interfere it seems such a tragic thing and wept then but later on when she went upstairs and looked in the glass she was calm with despair marilla had done her work thoroughly and it had been necessary to shingle the hair as closely as possible the result was not becoming to state the case as mildly as may be and promptly turned her glass to the wall i'll never never look at myself again until my hair grows she exclaimed passionately then she suddenly righted the glass yes i will too i do penance for being wicked that way i'll look at myself every time i come to my room and see how ugly i am and i won't try to imagine it away either i never thought i was vain about my hair of all things but now i know i was in spite of its being red because it was so long and thick and curly i expect something will happen to my nose next and clipped head made a sensation in school on the following monday but to her relief nobody guessed the real reason for it not even josie pie who however did not fail to inform and that she looked like a perfect scarecrow i didn't say anything when josie said that to me and confided that evening to marilla who was lying on the sofa after one of her headaches because i thought it was part of my punishment and i ought to bear it patiently it's hard to be told you look like a scarecrow and i wanted to say something back but i didn't i just swept her one scornful look and then i forgave her it makes you feel very virtuous when you forgive people doesn't it i mean to devote all my energies to being good after this and i shall never try to be beautiful again of course it's better to be good i know it is but it's sometimes so hard to believe a thing even when you know it i do really want to be good marilla like you and mrs allen and miss stacey and grow up to be a credit to you diana says when my hair begins to grow to tie a black velvet ribbon around my head with a bow at one side she says she thinks it will be very becoming i will call it a snood that sounds so romantic but am i talking too much marilla does it hurt your head my head is better now it was terrible bad this afternoon though these headaches of mine are getting worse and worse i'll have to see a doctor about them as for your chatter i don't know that i mind it i got so used to it which was marilla's way of saying that she liked to hear it end of chapter 27 chapter 28 of anna of green gables by lucy mod montgomery this is a libra vox recording all libra vox recordings are in the public domain for more information or to volunteer please visit libra vox dot org anna of green gables by lucy mod montgomery chapter 28 an unfortunate lily made of course you must be elaine anne said diana i could never have the courage to float down there nor i said ruby guillis with a shiver i don't mind floating down when there's two or three of us in the flat and we can sit up it's fun then but to lie down and pretend i was dead i just couldn't i'd really die of fright of course it would be romantic conceded jane andrews but i know i couldn't keep still i'd be popping up every minute or so to see where i was and if i wasn't drifting too far out and you know an that would spoil the effect but it's so ridiculous to have a redheaded elaine mourned an i'm not afraid to float down and i'd love to be elaine but it's ridiculous just the same ruby ought to be elaine because she is so fair and has such lovely long golden hair elaine had all her bright hair streaming down you know and elaine was the lily made now a red-haired person cannot be a lily made your complexion is just as fair as ruby's said diana earnestly and your hair is ever so much darker than it used to be before you cut it oh do you really think so exclaimed an flushing sensitively with delight i've sometimes thought it was myself but i never dared to ask anyone for fear she would tell me it wasn't do you think it could be called auburn now diana yes and i think it's real pretty said diana looking admiringly at the short silky curls that clustered over an's head and were held in place by a very jaunty black velvet ribbon and bow they were standing on the bank of the pond below orchard slope where a little headland fringed with birches ran out from the bank at its tip was a small wooden platform built out into the water for the convenience of fishermen and duck hunters ruby and jane were spending the midsummer afternoon with diana and an had come over to play with them an and diana had spent most of their playtime that summer on and about the pond idle wild was a thing of the past mr bell having ruthlessly cut down the little circle of trees in his back pasture in the spring and had sat among the sumps and wept not without an eye to the romance of it but she was speedily consoled for after all as she and diana said big girls of thirteen going on fourteen were too old for such childish amusements as playhouses and there were more fascinating sports to be found about the pond it was splendid to fish for trout over the bridge and the two girls learned to row themselves about in the little flat bottom dory mr berry kept for duck shooting it was an's idea that they dramatize a lane they had studied tennis and poem in school the preceding winter the superintendent of education having prescribed it in the english course for the prince edward island schools they had analyzed and parsed it and torn it to pieces in general until it was a wonder there was any meaning at all left in it for them but at least the fair lidley main and lancelot and guinevere and king arthur had become very real people to them and an was devoured by secret regret that she had not been born in camelot those days she said were so much more romantic than the present an's plan was hailed with enthusiasm the girls had discovered that if the flat were pushed off from the landing place it would drift down with the current under the bridge and finally strand itself on another headland lower down which ran out at a curve in the pond they had often gone down like this and nothing could be more convenient for playing a lane well i'll be a lane said an yielding reluctantly for although she would have been delighted to play the principal character yet her artistic sense demanded fitness for it and this she felt her limitations made impossible ruby you must be king arthur and jane will be guinevere and diana must be lancelot but first you must be the brothers and the father we can't have the old dumb servitor because there isn't room for two in the flat when one is lying down we must pall the barge all its length in blackest samite that old black shawl of your mother's will be just the thing diana the black shawl having been procured and spread it over the flat and then lay down on the bottom with closed eyes and hands folded over her breast oh she does look really dead whispered ruby guillis nervously watching the still white little face under the flickering shadows of the birches it makes me feel frightened girls do you suppose it's really right to act like this mrs. lind says that all play acting is abominably wicked ruby you shouldn't talk about mrs. lind said and severely it spoils the effect because this is hundreds of years before mrs. lind was born jane you arrange this it's silly for a lane to be talking when she's dead jane rose to the occasion cloth of gold for coverlet there was none but an old piano scarf of yellow japanese crepe was an excellent substitute a white lily was not obtainable just then but the effect of a tall blue iris placed in one of an's folded hands was all that could be desired now she's all ready said jane we must kiss her quiet brows and diana you say sister farewell forever and ruby you say farewell sweet sister both of you as sorrowfully as you possibly can and for goodness sake smile a little you know elaine lay as though she smiled that's better now push the flat off the flat was accordingly pushed off scraping roughly over an old embedded stake in the process diana and jane and ruby only waited long enough to see it caught in the current and headed for the bridge before scampering up through the woods across the road and down to the lower headland where as lance lot and guinevere and the king they were to be in readiness to receive the lily made for a few minutes and drifting slowly down enjoyed the romance of her situation to the full then something happened not at all romantic the flat began to leak in a very few moments it was necessary for a lane to scramble to her feet pick up her cloth of gold coverlet and paul of blackest samite and gaze blankly at a big crack in the bottom of her barge through which the water was literally pouring that sharp stake at the landing had torn off the strip of batting nailed on the flat and did not know this but it did not take her long to realize that she was in a dangerous plight at this rate the flat would fill and sink long before it could drift to the lower headland where were the oars left behind the landing and gave one gasping little scream which nobody ever heard she was white to the lips but she did not lose her self possession there was one chance just one i was horribly frightened she told mrs allen the next day and it seemed like years while the flat was drifting down to the bridge and the water rising in at every moment i prayed mrs allen most earnestly but i didn't shut my eyes to pray for i knew the only way god could save me was to let the flat float close enough to one of the bridge piles for me to climb up on it you know the piles are just old tree trunks and there are lots of knots and old branch stubs on them it was proper to pray but i had to do my part by watching out and right well i knew it i just said dear god please take the flat close to a pile and i'll do the rest over and over again under such circumstances you don't think much about making a flowery prayer but mine was answered for the flat bumped right into a pile for a minute and i flung the scarf in the shawl over my shoulder and scrambled up on a big providential stub and there i was mrs allen clinging to that slippery old pile with no way of getting up or down it was a very unromantic position but i didn't think about that at the time you don't think much about romance when you have just escaped from a watery grave i said a grateful prayer at once and then i gave all my attention to holding on tight for i knew i should probably have to depend on human aid to get back to dry land the flat drifted under the bridge and then promptly sank in midstream ruby jane and diana already awaiting it on the lower headland saw it disappear before their very eyes and had not a doubt but that an had gone down with it for a moment they stood still white as sheets frozen with horror at the tragedy then shrieking at the tops of their voices they started on a frantic run up through the woods never pausing as they crossed the main road to glance the way of the bridge ann clinging desperately to her precarious foothold saw their flying forms and heard their shrieks help would soon come but meanwhile her position was a very uncomfortable one the minutes passed by each seeming an hour to the unfortunate lily made why didn't somebody come where had the girls gone suppose they had fainted one in all suppose nobody ever came suppose she grew so tired and cramped that she could hold on no longer ann looked at the wicked green depths below her wavering with long oily shadows and shivered her imagination began to suggest all manner of gruesome possibilities to her then just as she thought she really could not endure the ache in her arms and wrists another moment gilbert blithe came rowing under the bridge in harmon andrews's dory gilbert glanced up and much to his amazement beheld a little white scornful face looking down upon him with big frightened but also scornful gray eyes and surely how on earth did you get there he exclaimed without waiting for an answer he pulled close to the pile and extended his hand there was no help for it ann clinging to gilbert blithe's hand scrambled down into the dory where she sat drabbled and furious in the stern with her arms full of dripping shawl and wet crepe it was certainly extremely difficult to be dignified under the circumstances what has happened and asked gilbert taking up his oars we were playing elaine explained ann frigidly without even looking at her rescuer and i had to drift down to camelot in the barge i mean the flat the flat began to leak and i climbed out on the pile the girls went for help will you be kind enough to roam me to the landing gilbert obliging we rode to the landing and ann disdaining assistance sprang nimbly on shore i'm very much obliged to you she said hotly she turned away but gilbert had also sprung from the boat and now laid a detaining hand on her arm and he said hurriedly look here can't we be good friends i'm awfully sorry i made fun of your hair that time i didn't mean to vex you and i only meant it for a joke besides it's so long ago i think your hair is awfully pretty now honest i do let's be friends for a moment ann hesitated she had an odd newly awakened consciousness under all her outraged dignity that the half shy half eager expression in gilbert's hazel eyes was something that was very good to see her heart gave a quick queer little beat but the bitterness of her old grievance promptly stiffened up her wavering determination that scene of two years before flashed back into her recollection as vividly as if it had taken place yesterday gilbert had called her carrots and had brought about her disgrace before the whole school her resentment which two other and older people might be as laughable as its cause was in no wit elade and softened by time seemingly she hated gilbert blithe she would never forgive him no she said coldly i shall never be friends with you gilbert blithe and i don't want to be all right gilbert sprang into his skiff with an angry color in his cheeks i'll never ask you to be friends again and surely and i don't care either he pulled away with swift defiant strokes and ann went up the steep ferny little path under the maples she held her head very high but she was conscious of an odd feeling of regret she almost wished she had answered gilbert differently of course he had insulted her terribly but still altogether ann rather thought it would be a relief to sit down and have a good cry she was really quite unstrung for the reaction from her fright and cramped clinging was making itself felt halfway up the path she met jane and diana rushing back to the pond in a state narrowly removed from positive frenzy they had found nobody at orchard slope both mr and mrs berry being away here ruby gillis had succumbed to hysterics and was left to recover from them as best she might while jane and diana flew through the haunted wood and across the brook to green gables there they had found nobody either for marilla had gone to carmady and matthew was making hay in the back field oh and gasped diana fairly falling on the former's neck and weeping with relief and delight oh and we thought you were drowned and we felt like murderous because we had made you be elaine and ruby is in hysterics oh and how did you escape i climbed up on one of the piles explained and weirdly and gilbert blithe came along in mr andrew's is dory and brought me to land oh and how splendid of him why it's so romantic said jane finding breath enough for utterance at last of course you'll speak to him after this of course i won't flashed an with a momentary return of her old spirit and i don't want ever to hear the word romantic again jane andrew's i'm awfully sorry you were so frightened girls it is all my fault i feel sure i was born under an unlucky star everything i do gets me or my dearest friends into a scrape we've gone and lost your father's flat diana and i have a presentiment that will not be allowed to row on the pond anymore an's presentiment proved more trustworthy than presentiments are apt to do great was the consternation in the berry and cuthbert households when the events of the afternoon became known will you ever have any sense an groaned marilla oh yes i think i will marilla returned an optimistically a good cry indulged in the grateful solitude of the east gable had soothed her nerves and restored her to her wanted cheerfulness i think my prospects of becoming sensible are brighter now than ever i don't see how said marilla well explained an i've learned a new and valuable lesson today ever since i came to green gables i've been making mistakes and each mistake has helped to cure me of some great shortcoming the affair of the amethyst brooch cured me of meddling with things that didn't belong to me the haunted wood mistake cured me of letting my imagination run away with me the liniment cake mistake cured me of carelessness and cooking dying my hair cured me of vanity i never think about my hair and nose now at least very seldom and today's mistake is going to cure me of being too romantic i have come to the conclusion that it is no use trying to be romantic in avonlea it was probably easy enough in towered camalot hundreds of years ago but romance is not appreciated now i feel quite sure that you will soon see a great improvement in me in this respect marilla i'm sure i hope so said marilla skeptically but matthew who had been sitting mutely in his corner laid a hand on an shoulder when marilla had gone out don't give up all your romance and he whispered shyly a little of it is a good thing not too much of course but keep a little of it and keep a little of it end of chapter 28 chapter 29 of an of green gables by lucy mod Montgomery this is a libra vox recording all libra vox recordings are in the public domain for more information or to volunteer please visit libra vox.org an of green gables by lucy mod Montgomery chapter 29 an epic in an's life an was bringing the cows home from the back pasture by way of lovers lane it was a september evening and all the gaps and clearings in the woods were brimmed up with ruby sunset light here and there the lane was splashed with it but for the most part it was already quite shadowy beneath the maples and the spaces under the furs were filled with a clear violet dusk like airy wine the winds were out in their tops and there is no sweeter music on earth than that which the wind makes in the fir trees at evening the cows swung placidly down the lane and an followed them dreamily repeating aloud the battle canto from marmian which had also been part of their english course in the preceding winter and which miss stacey had made them learn off by heart and exulting in its rushing lines and the clash of spears in its imagery when she came to the lines the stubborn spearsmen still made good their dark and penetrable wood she stopped in ecstasy to shut her eyes that she might the better fancy herself one of that heroic ring when she opened them again it was to behold diana coming through the gate that led into the berry field and looking so important that an instantly divine there was news to be told but betray too eager curiosity she would not isn't this evening just like a purple dream diana it makes me so glad to be alive in the mornings i always think the mornings are best but when evening comes i think it's lovely or still it's a very fine evening said diana but oh i have such news and guess you can have three guesses charlotte gillis is going to be married in the church after all and mrs allen wants us to decorate it cried an no charlotte's bow won't agree to that because nobody has ever been married in the church yet and he thinks it would seem too much like a funeral it's too mean because it would be such fun guess again jane's mother is going to let her have a birthday party diana shook her head her black eyes dancing with merriment i can't think what it can be said and in despair unless it's that moody spurgeon mcpherson saw you home from prayer meeting last night did he i should think not exclaimed diana indignantly i wouldn't be likely to boast of it if he did the horrid creature i knew you couldn't guess it mother had a letter from aunt josephine today and aunt josephine wants you and me to go to town next tuesday and stop with her for the exhibition there oh diana whispered an finding it necessary to lean up against a maple tree for support do you really mean it but i'm afraid marilla won't let me go she will say that she can't encourage guiding about that was what she said last week when jane invited me to go with them in their double seated buggy to the american concert at the white sands hotel i wanted to go but marilla said i'd be better at home learning my lessons and so would jane i was bitterly disappointed diana i felt so heartbroken that i wouldn't say my prayers when i went to bed but i repented of that and got up in the middle of the night and said them i'll tell you said diana we'll get mother to ask marilla she'll be more likely to let you go then and if she does we'll have the time of our lives and i've never been to an exhibition and it's so aggravating to hear the other girls talking about their trips jane and ruby have been twice and they're going this year again i'm not going to think about it at all until i know whether i can go or not said ann resolutely if i did and then was disappointed it would be more than i could bear but in case i do go i'm very glad my new coat will be ready by that time marilla didn't think i needed a new coat she said my old one would do very well for another winter and that i ought to be satisfied with having a new dress the dress is very pretty diana navy blue and made so fashionably marilla always makes my dresses fashionably now because she says she doesn't intend to have math you're going to miss his linds to make them i'm so glad it is ever so much easier to be good if your clothes are fashionable at least it is easier for me i suppose it doesn't make such a difference to naturally good people but math you said i must have a new coat so marilla bought a lovely piece of blue broadcloth and it's being made by a real dressmaker over at carmity it's to be done saturday night and i'm trying not to imagine myself walking up the church aisle on sunday in my new suit and cap because i'm afraid it isn't right to imagine such things but it just slips into my mind in spite of me my cap is so pretty math you bought it for me the day we were over at carmity it is one of those little blue velvet ones that are all the rage with gold cord and tassels your new hat is elegant diana and so becoming when i saw you come into church last sunday my heart swelled with pride to think you were my dearest friend do you suppose it's wrong for us to think so much about our clothes marilla says it is very sinful but it is such an interesting subject isn't it marilla agreed to let an go to town and it was arranged that mr berry should take the girls in on the following tuesday as charlotte town was 30 miles away and mr berry wished to go and return the same day it was necessary to make a very early start but an counted it all joy and was up before sunrise on tuesday morning a glance from her window assured her that the day would be fine for the eastern sky behind the furs of the haunted wood was all silvery and cloudless through the gap in the trees a light was shining in the western gable of orchard slope a token that diana was also up an was dressed by the time matthew had the fire on and had the breakfast ready when marilla came down but for her own part was much too excited to eat after breakfast the jaunty new cap and jacket were dawned and an hastened over the brook and up through the furs to orchard slope mr berry and diana were waiting for her and they were soon on the road it was a long drive but an and diana enjoyed every minute of it it was delightful to rattle along over the moist roads in the early red sunlight that was creeping across the shorn harvest fields the air was fresh and crisp and little smoke blue mists curled through the valleys and floated off from the hills sometimes the road went through woods where maples were beginning to hang out scarlet banners sometimes it crossed rivers on bridges that made and flesh cringe with the old half delightful fear sometimes it wound along a harbor shore and passed by a little cluster of weather gray fishing huts again it mounted to hills went a far sweep of curving upland or misty blue sky could be seen but wherever it went there was much of interest to discuss it was almost noon when they reached town and found their way to beechwood it was quite a fine old mansion set back from the street in a seclusion of green elms and branching beaches miss berry met them at the door with a twinkle in her sharp black eyes so you've come to see me at last you and girl she said mercy child how you have grown you're taller than i am i declare and you're ever so much better looking than you used to be too but i dare say you know that without being told indeed i didn't said and radiantly i know i'm not so freckled as i used to be so i've much to be thankful for but i really hadn't dared to hope there was any other improvement i'm so glad you think there is miss berry miss berry's house was furnished with great magnificence as and told marilla afterward the two little country girls were rather abashed by the splendor of the parlor where miss berry left them when she went to see about dinner isn't it just like a palace whispered diana i never was in on josephine's house before and i'd no idea it was so grand i just wish julia bell could see this she puts on such airs about her mother's parlor velvet carpet side and luxuriously and silk curtains i've dreamed of such things diana but you know i don't believe i feel very comfortable with them after all there are so many things in this room and also splendid that there is no scope for imagination that is one consolation when you're poor there are so many more things you can imagine about their sojourn in town was something that anna diana dated from for years from first to last it was crowded with delight on wednesday miss berry took them to the exhibition grounds and kept them there all day it was splendid and related to marilla later on i never imagined anything so interesting i don't really know which department was the most interesting i think i liked the horses and the flowers and the fancy work best jose pie took first prize for knitted lace i was real glad she did and i was glad that i felt glad for it shows i'm improving don't you think marilla when i can rejoice in joseph's success mr harman andrews took second prize for gravenstein apples and mr bell took first prize for a pig diana said she thought it was ridiculous for a sunday school superintendent to take a prize in pigs but i don't see why do you she said she would always think of it after this when he was praying so solemnly claire louise macpherson took a prize for painting and mrs lind got first prize for homemade butter and cheese so avonlea was pretty well represented wasn't it mrs lind was there that day and i never knew how much i really liked her until i saw her familiar face among all those strangers there were thousands of people there marilla it made me feel dreadfully insignificant and miss berry took us up to the grandstand to see the horse races mrs lind wouldn't go she said horse racing was an abomination and she being a church member thought at her bound in duty to set a good example by staying away but there were so many there i don't believe mrs lind's absence would ever be noticed i don't think though that i ought to go very often to horse races because they are awfully fascinating diana got so excited that she offered to bet me ten cents that the red horse would win i didn't believe he would but i refused to bet because i wanted to tell mrs allen all about everything and i felt sure it wouldn't do to tell her that it's always wrong to do anything you can't tell the minister's wife it's as good as an extra conscience to have a minister's wife for your friend and i was very glad i didn't bet because the red horse did win and i would have lost ten cents so you see that virtue was its own reward we saw a man go up in a balloon i'd love to go up in a balloon marilla it would be simply thrilling and we saw a man selling fortunes you paid him ten cents and a little bird picked out your fortune for you miss berry gave diana and me ten cents each to have our fortunes told mine was that i would marry a dark complexed man who was very wealthy and i would go across water to live i looked carefully at all the dark men i saw after that but i didn't care much for any of them and anyhow i suppose it's too early to be looking out for him yet oh it was a never to be forgotten day marilla i was so tired i couldn't sleep at night miss berry put us in the spare room according to promise it was an elegant room marilla but somehow sleeping in a spare room isn't what i used to think it was that's the worst of growing up and i'm beginning to realize it the things you wanted so much when you were a child don't seem half so wonderful to you when you get them thursday the girls had a drive in the park and in the evening miss berry took them to a concert in the academy of music where a noted prima donna was to sing to and the evening was a glittering vision of delight oh marilla it was beyond description i was so excited i couldn't even talk so you may know what it was like i just sat in enraptured silence madame salitski was perfectly beautiful and wore white satin and diamonds but when she began to sing i never thought about anything else oh i can't tell you how i felt but it seemed to me that it could never be hard to be good anymore i felt like i do when i look up at the stars tears came into my eyes but oh they were such happy tears i was so sorry when it was all over and i told miss berry i didn't see how i was ever to return to common life again she said she thought if we went over to the restaurant across the street and had an ice cream it might help me that sounded so prosaic but to my surprise i found it true the ice cream was delicious marilla and it was so lovely and dissipated to be sitting there eating it at 11 o'clock at night diana said she believed she was born for city life miss berry asked me what my opinion was but i said i would have to think it over very seriously before i could tell her what i really thought so i thought it over after i went to bed that is the best time to think things out and i came to the conclusion marilla that i wasn't born for city life and that i was glad of it it's nice to be eating ice cream at brilliant restaurants at 11 o'clock at night once in a while but as a regular thing i'd rather be in the east gable at 11 sound asleep but kind of knowing even in my sleep that the stars were shining outside and that the wind was blowing in the furs across the brook i told miss berry so at breakfast the next morning and she laughed miss berry generally laughed at anything i said even when i said the most solemn things i don't think i liked it marilla because i wasn't trying to be funny but she is a most hospitable lady and treated us royally friday brought going home time and mr berry drove in for the girls well i hope you've enjoyed yourselves said miss berry as she bade them goodbye indeed we have said diana and you and girl i've enjoyed every minute of the time said an throwing her arms impulsively about the old woman's neck and kissing her wrinkled cheek diana would never have dared to do such a thing and felt rather aghast at an's freedom but miss berry was pleased and she stood on her veranda and watched the buggy out of sight then she went back into her big house with a sigh it seemed very lonely lacking those fresh young lives miss berry was a rather selfish old lady if truth must be told and had never cared much for anybody but herself she valued people only as they were of service to her or amused her an had amused her and consequently stood high in the old lady's good graces but miss berry found herself thinking less about an's quaint speeches than of her fresh enthusiasm's her transparent emotions her little winning ways and the sweetness of her eyes i thought marilla cutthroat was an old fool when i heard she'd adopted a girl out of an orphan asylum she said to herself but i guess she didn't make much of a mistake after all if i'd a child like an in the house all the time i'd be a better and happier woman an and diana found the drive home as pleasant as the drive in pleasanter indeed since there was the delightful consciousness of home waiting at the end of it it was sunset when they passed through white sands and turned into the shore road beyond the avonlea hills came out darkly against the saffron sky behind them the moon was rising out of the sea that grew all radiant and transfigured in her light every little cove along the curving road was a marvel of dancing ripples the waves broke with a soft swish on the rocks below them and the tang of the sea was in the strong fresh air oh but it's good to be alive and to be going home breathed an when she crossed the log bridge over the brook the kitchen light of green gables winked her a friendly welcome back and through the open door shown the hearth fire sending out its warm red glow with wart the chili autumn night an ran lively up the hill and into the kitchen where a hot supper was waiting on the table so you've got back said marilla folding up her knitting yes and oh it's so good to be back said an joyously i could kiss everything even to the clock marilla a broiled chicken you don't mean to say you cooked that for me yes i did said marilla i thought you'd be hungry after such a drive and need something real appetizing hurry and take off your things and we'll have supper as soon as matthew comes in i'm glad you've got back i must say it's been fearful lonesome here without you and i never put in for longer days after supper and sat before the fire between matthew and marilla and gave them a full account of her visit i've had a splendid time she concluded happily and i feel that it marks an epic in my life but the best of it all was the coming home end of chapter 29 chapter 30 of an of green gables by lucy mod montgomery this is a libra vox recording all libra vox recordings are in the public domain for more information or to volunteer please visit libra vox dot org an of green gables by lucy mod montgomery chapter 30 the queen's class is organized marilla laid her knitting on her lap and leaned back in her chair her eyes were tired and she thought vaguely that she must see about having her glasses changed the next time she went to town for her eyes had grown tired very often of late it was nearly dark for the full november twilight had fallen around green gables and the only light in the kitchen came from the dancing red flames in the stove an was curled up turk fashion on the hearth rug gazing into that joyous glow where the sunshine of a hundred summers was being distilled from the maple cordwood she had been reading but her book had slipped to the floor and now she was dreaming with a smile on her parted lips glittering castles in spain were shaping themselves out of the mists and rainbows of her lively fancy adventures wonderful and enthralling were happening to her in cloudland adventures that always turned out triumphantly and never involved her in scrapes like those of actual life marilla looked at her with a tenderness that would never have been suffered to reveal itself in any clearer light than that soft mingling of fireshine and shadow the lesson of a love that should display itself easily in spoken word and open look was one marilla could never learn but she had learned to love this slim grey eyed girl with an affection all the deeper and stronger from its very undemonstrativeness her love made her afraid of being unduly indulgent indeed she had an uneasy feeling that it was rather sinful to set one's heart so intensely on any human creature as she had set hers on an and perhaps she performed a sort of unconscious penance for this by being stricter and more critical than if the girl had been less dear to her certainly an herself had no idea how marilla loved her she sometimes thought wistfully that marilla was very hard to please and distinctly lacking in sympathy and understanding but she always checked the thought reproachfully remembering what she owed to marilla an said marilla abruptly miss stacey was here this afternoon when you were out with diana an came back from her other world with a start and a sigh was she oh i'm so sorry i wasn't in why didn't you call me marilla diana and i were only over in the haunted wood it's lovely in the woods now all the little wood things the ferns and the satin leaves and the crackerberries have gone to sleep just as if somebody had tucked them away until spring under a blanket of leaves i think it was a little gray fairy with a rainbow scarf that came tiptoeing along the last moonlight night and did it diana wouldn't say much about that though diana has never forgotten the scolding her mother gave her about imagining ghosts into the haunted wood it had a very bad effect on diana's imagination it blighted it mrs. lin says myrtle bell is a blighted being i asked ruby gillis why myrtle was blighted and ruby said she guessed it was because her young man had gone back on her ruby gillis thinks of nothing but young men and the older she gets the worse she is young men are all very well in their place but it doesn't do to drag them into everything does it diana and i are thinking seriously of promising each other that we will never marry but be nice old maids and live together forever diana hasn't quite made up her mind though because she thinks perhaps it would be nobler to marry some wild dashing wicked young man and reform him diana and i talk a great deal about serious subjects now you know we feel that we are so much older than we used to be that it isn't becoming to talk of childish matters it's such a solemn thing to be almost 14 marilla miss stacey took all us girls who are in our teens down to the brook last wednesday and talk to us about it she said we couldn't be too careful what habits we formed and what ideals we acquired in our teens because by the time we were 20 our characters would be developed and the foundation laid for our whole future life and she said if the foundation was shaky we could never build anything really worthwhile on it diana and i talked the matter over coming home from school we felt extremely solemn marilla and we decided that we would try to be very careful indeed and form respectable habits and learn all we could and be as sensible as possible so that by the time we were 20 our characters would be properly developed it's perfectly appalling to think of being 20 marilla it sounds so fearfully old and grown up but why was miss stacey here this afternoon that is what i want to tell you and if you'll ever give me a chance to get a word in edgewise she was talking about you about me and looked rather scared then she flushed and exclaimed oh i know what she was saying i meant to tell you marilla honestly i did but i forgot miss stacey caught me reading then her in school yesterday afternoon when i should have been studying my canadian history jane andrews lent it to me i was reading it at dinner hour and i had just got to the chariot race when school went in i was simply wild to know how it turned out although i felt sure ben her must win because it wouldn't be poetical justice if he didn't so i spread the history open on my desk lid and then tucked ben her between the desk and my knee i just looked as if i were studying canadian history you know while all the while i was reveling in ben her i was so interested in it that i never noticed miss stacey coming down the aisle until all at once i just looked up and there she was looking down at me so reproachful like i can't tell you how ashamed i felt marilla especially when i heard josie pie giggling miss stacey took ben her away but she never said a word then she kept me in it recess and talked to me she said i had done very wrong in two respects first i was wasting the time i ought to have put on my studies and secondly i was deceiving my teacher in trying to make it appear i was reading a history when it was a story book instead i had never realized until that moment marilla that what i was doing was deceitful i was shocked i cried bitterly and asked miss stacey to forgive me and i'd never do such a thing again and i offered to do penance by never so much as looking at ben her for a whole week not even to see how the chariot race turned out but miss stacey said she wouldn't require that and she forgave me freely so i think it wasn't very kind of her to come up here to you about it after all miss stacey never mentioned such a thing to me an and it's only your guilty conscience that's the matter with you you have no business to be taking storybooks to school you read too many novels anyhow when i was a girl i wasn't so much as allowed to take a look at a novel oh how can you call then her a novel when it's really such a religious book protested an of course it's a little too exciting to be proper reading for sunday and i only read it on weekdays and i never read any book now unless either miss stacey or mrs allen thinks it is a proper book for a girl 13 and three quarters to read miss stacey made me promise that she found me reading a book one day called the lurid mystery of the haunted hall it was one ruby gillis had let me and oh marilla it was so fascinating and creepy it just curdled the blood in my veins but miss stacey said it was a very silly unwholesome book and she asked me not to read any more of it or any like it i didn't mind promising not to read any more like it but it was agonizing to give back that book without knowing how it turned out but my love for miss stacey stood the test and i did it's really wonderful marilla what you can do when you're truly anxious to please a certain person well i guess i'll light the lamp and get to work said marilla i see plainly that you don't want to hear what miss stacey had to say you're more interested in the sound of your own tongue than anything else oh indeed marilla i do want to hear it cried ann contritely i won't say another word not one i know i talk too much but i am really trying to overcome it and although i say far too much yet if you only knew how many things i want to say and don't you give me some credit for it please tell me marilla well miss stacey wants to organize a class among her advanced students who mean to study for the entrance examination into queens she intends to give them extra lessons for an hour after school and she came to ask matthew and me if we would like to have you join it what do you think about it yourself ann would you like to go to queens and pass for a teacher oh marilla ann straight into her knees and clasped her hands it's been the dream of my life that is for the last six months ever since ruby and jane began to talk of studying for the entrance but i didn't say anything about it because i supposed it would be perfectly useless i'd love to be a teacher but won't it be dreadfully expensive mr andrew says it cost him one hundred and fifty dollars to put prissy through and prissy wasn't a dunce in geometry i guess you needn't worry about that part of it when matthew and i took you to bring up we resolved we would do the best we could for you and give you a good education i believe in a girl being fitted to earn her own living whether she ever has to or not he'll always have a home at green gables as long as matthew and i are here but nobody knows what is going to happen in this uncertain world and it's just as well to be prepared so you can join the queens class if you like ann oh marilla thank you ann flung her arms about marilla's waist and looked up earnestly into her face i'm extremely grateful to you and matthew and i'll study as hard as i can and do my very best to be a credit to you i warn you not to expect much in geometry but i think i can hold my own in anything else if i work hard i dare say you'll get along well enough miss stacey says you were bright and diligent not for worlds would marilla have told ann just what miss stacey had said about her that would have been to pamper vanity you needn't rush to any extreme of killing yourself over your books there is no hurry you won't be ready to try the entrance for a year and a half yet but it's well to begin in time and be thoroughly grounded miss stacey says i shall take more interest than ever in my studies now said ann blissfully because i have a purpose in life mr allen says everybody should have a purpose in life and pursue it faithfully only he says we must first make sure that it is a worthy purpose i would call it a worthy purpose to want to be a teacher like miss stacey wouldn't you marilla i think it's a very noble profession the queen's class was organized in due time gilbert blithe and surely ruby gillis jane andrews jose pie charlie slone and moody spurgeon macpherson joined it diana berry did not as her parents did not intend to center to queens this seemed nothing short of a calamity to ann never since the night on which mini may had had the crew had she and diana been separated in anything on the evening when the queen's class first remained in school for the extra lessons and ann saw diana go slowly out with the others to walk home alone through the birch path and violent veil it was all the former could do to keep her seat and refrain from rushing impulsively after her chum a lump came into her throat and she hastily retired behind the pages of her uplifted latin grammar to hide the tears in her eyes not for worlds would an have had gilbert blithe or jose pie see those tears but oh marilla i really felt that i had tasted the bitterness of death as mr allen said in his sermon last sunday when i saw diana go out alone she said mournfully that night i thought how splendid it would have been if diana had only been going to study for the entrance to but we can't have things perfect in this imperfect world as mrs lin says mrs lin isn't exactly a comforting person sometimes but there's no doubt she says a great many very true things and i think the queen's class is going to be extremely interesting jane and ruby are just going to study to be teachers that is the height of their ambition ruby says she will only teach for two years after she gets through and then she intends to be married jane says she will devote her whole life to teaching and never never marry because you are paid a salary for teaching but a husband won't pay you anything and growls if you ask for a share in the egg and butter money i expect jane speaks from mournful experience for mrs lin says that her father is a perfect old crank and meaner than second skimmings jose pie says she is just going to college for education's sake because she won't have to earn her own living she says of course it is different with orphans who are living on charity they have to hustle moody spurgeon is going to be a minister mrs lin says he couldn't be anything else with a name like that to live up to i hope it isn't wicked of me marilla but really the thought of moody spurgeon being a minister makes me laugh he's such a funny looking boy with that big fat face and his little blue eyes and his ears sticking out like flaps but perhaps he will be more intellectual looking when he grows up charlie slone says he's going to go into politics and be a member of parliament but mrs lin says he'll never succeed at that because the slones are all honest people and it's only rascals that get on in politics nowadays what is gilbert blithe going to be queried marilla seeing that an was opening her caesar i don't happen to know what gilbert blithe's ambition in life is if he has any said an scornfully there was open rivalry between gilbert and an now previously the rivalry had been rather one sided but there was no longer any doubt that gilbert was as determined to be first in class as an was he was a foeman worthy of her steel the other members of the class tacitly acknowledged their superiority and never dreamed of trying to compete with them since the day by the pond when she had refused to listen to his plea for forgiveness gilbert save for the aforesaid determined rivalry had evinced no recognition whatever of the existence of and surely he talked and gested with the other girls exchanged books and puzzles with them discussed lessons and plans sometimes walked home with one or the other of them from prayer meeting or debating club but and surely he simply ignored and and found out that it is not pleasant to be ignored it was in vain that she told herself with the toss of her head that she did not care deep down in her wayward feminine little heart she knew that she did care and that if she had that chance of the lake of shining waters again she would answer very differently all at once as it seemed and her secret dismay she found that the old resentment she had cherished against him was gone gone just when she most needed its sustaining power it was in vain that she recalled every incident and emotion of that memorable occasion and tried to feel the old satisfying anger that day by the pond had witnessed its last spasmodic flicker and realized that she had forgiven and forgotten without knowing it but it was too late and at least neither Gilbert nor anybody else not even Diana should ever suspect how sorry she was and how much she wished she hadn't been so proud and horrid she determined to shroud her feelings in deepest oblivion and it may be stated here and now that she did it so successfully that Gilbert who possibly was not quite so indifferent as he seemed could not console himself with any belief that Anne felt his retaliatory scorn the only poor comfort he had was that she snubbed Charlie Sloane unmercifully continually and undeservedly otherwise the winter passed away in a round of pleasant duties and studies for Anne the days slipped by like golden beads on the necklace of the year she was happy eager interested there were lessons to be learned and honor to be one delightful books to read new pieces to be practiced for the Sunday School Choir pleasant Saturday afternoons at the Mance with Mrs. Allen and then almost before Anne realized it spring had come again to Green Gables and all the world was a bloom once more studies Paul just a wee bit then the Queens class left behind in school while the others scattered to green lanes and leafy woodcuts and meadow byways looked wistfully out of the windows and discovered that Latin verbs and French exercises had somehow lost the tang and zest they had possessed in the crisp winter months even Anne and Gilbert lagged and grew indifferent teacher and taught were like glad when the term was ended and the glad vacation days stretched rosely before them but you've done good work this past year Miss Stacy told them on the last evening and you deserve a good jolly vacation have the best time you can in the out-of-door world and lay in a good stock of health and vitality and ambition to carry you through next year it will be the tug of war you know the last year before the entrance are you going to be back next year miss Stacy asked Josie pie Josie pie never screwed to ask questions in this instance the rest of the class felt grateful to her none of them would have dared to ask it of miss Stacy but all wanted to for there had been alarming rumors running at large through the school for some time that miss Stacy was not coming back the next year that she had been offered a position in the grade school of her own home district and meant to accept the Queens class listened in breathless suspense for her answer yes I think I will said miss Stacy I thought of taking another school but I have decided to come back to Avonlea to tell the truth I've grown so interested in my pupils here that I found I couldn't leave them so I'll stay and see you through hurrah said Moody Spurgeon Moody Spurgeon had never been so carried away by his feelings before and he blushed uncomfortably every time he thought about it for a week oh I'm so glad said Anne with shining eyes dear miss Stacy it would be perfectly dreadful if you didn't come back I don't believe I could have the heart to go on with my studies at all if another teacher came here when Anne got home that night she stacked all her textbooks away in an old trunk in the attic locked it and threw the key into the blanket box I'm not even going to look at a school book in vacation she told Marilla I've studied as hard all the term as I possibly could and I've poured over that geometry until I know every proposition in the first book off by heart even when the letters are changed I just feel tired of everything sensible and I'm going to let my imagination run riot for the summer oh you needn't be alarmed Marilla I'll only let it run riot within reasonable limits but I want to have a real good jolly time this summer for maybe it's the last summer I'll be a little girl Mrs. Lynn says that if I keep stretching out next year as I've done this I'll have to put on longer skirts she says I'm all running to legs and eyes and when I put on longer skirts I shall feel that I have to live up to them and be very dignified it won't even do to believe in fairies then I'm afraid so I'm going to believe in them with all my whole heart this summer I think we're going to have a very gay vacation Ruby Gillis is going to have a birthday party soon and there's the Sunday school picnic and the missionary concert next month and Mr. Barry says that some evening he'll take Diana and me over to the White Sands hotel and have dinner there they have dinner there in the evening you know Jane Andrews was over once last summer and she says it was a dazzling sight to see the electric lights and the flowers and all the lady guests in such beautiful dresses Jane says it was her first glimpse into high life and she'll never forget it to her dying day Mrs. Lynde came up the next afternoon to find out why Marilla had not been at the aid meeting on Thursday when Marilla was not at an aid meeting people knew that there was something wrong at Green Gables Matthew had a bad spell with his heart Thursday Marilla explained and I didn't feel like leaving him oh yes he's all right again now but he takes them spells oftener than he used to and I'm anxious about him the doctor says he must be careful to avoid excitement that's easy enough for Matthew doesn't go about looking for excitement by any means I never did but he's not to do any very heavy work either and he might as well tell Matthew not to breathe as not to work come and lay off your things Rachel you'll stay to tea well seeing you're so pressing perhaps I might as well stay said Mrs. Rachel who had not the slightest intention of doing anything else Mrs. Rachel and Marilla sat comfortably in the parlor while Anne got the tea and made hot biscuits that were light and white enough to defy even Mrs. Rachel's criticism I must say Anne has turned out a real smart girl admitted Mrs. Rachel as Marilla accompanied her to the end of the lane at sunset she must be a great help to you she is said Marilla and she's real steady and reliable now I used to be afraid she'd never get over her feather brained ways but she has and I wouldn't be afraid to trust her in anything now I never would have thought she'd have turned out so well that first day I was here three years ago said Mrs. Rachel lawful heart shall I ever forget that tantrum of hers when I went home that night I says to Thomas says I mark my words Thomas Marilla Cuthbert will live to rue the steps she's took but I was mistaken and I'm real glad of it I ain't one of those kind of people Marilla as it can never be brought to onop that they've made a mistake no that never was my way thank goodness I did make a mistake in judging Anne but it weren't no wonder for an order unexpected or which of a child there never was in this world that's what there was no siphon her out by the rules that worked with other children it's nothing short of wonderful how she's improved these three years but especially in looks she's a real pretty girl got to be though I can't say I'm over partial to that pale big-eyed style myself I like more snap and color like Diana Barry has or Ruby Gillis Ruby Gillis's looks are real showy but somehow I don't know how it is but when Anne and them are together though she ain't half as handsome she makes them look kind of calm and overdone something like them white June Lily she calls Narcissus alongside of the big red peonies that's what end of chapter 30 chapter 31 of Anne of Green Gables by Lucy Mod Montgomery this is a LibriVox recording all LibriVox recordings are in the public domain for more information or to volunteer please visit LibriVox.org Anne of Green Gables by Lucy Mod Montgomery chapter 31 where the brook and river meet Anne had her good summer and enjoyed it wholeheartedly she and Diana fairly lived outdoors reveling in all the delights that Lubbers Lane and the Dryads bubble and Willow Mere and Victoria Island afforded Marilla offered no objections to Anne's gypsy inks the Spencer Vale doctor who had come the night Mini may have the crew met Anne at the house of a patient one afternoon early in vacation looked her over sharply screwed up his mouth shook his head and sent a message to Marilla Cuthbert by another person it was keep that red-headed girl of yours in the open air all summer and don't let her read books until she gets more spring into her step this message frightened Marilla wholesomely she read Anne's death warrant by consumption in it unless it was scrupulously obeyed as a result Anne had the golden summer of her life as far as freedom and frolic went she walked road buried and dream to her heart's content and when September came she was bright-eyed and alert with a step that would have satisfied the Spencer Vale doctor and a heart full of ambition and zest once more I feel just like studying with might and main she declared as she brought her books down from the attic oh you good old friends I'm glad to see your honest faces once more yes even you geometry I've had a perfectly beautiful summer Marilla and now I'm rejoicing as a strongman to run a race as Mr. Allen said last Sunday doesn't Mr. Allen preach magnificent sermons Mrs. Lynn says he is improving every day and the first thing we know some city church will gobble him up and then we'll be left and have to turn to and break in another green preacher but I don't see the use of meeting trouble halfway do you Marilla I think it would be better just to enjoy Mr. Allen while we have him if I were a man I think I'd be a minister they can have such an influence for good if their theology is sound and it must be thrilling to preach splendid sermons and stir your hearers hearts why can't women be ministers Marilla I asked Mrs. Lynn to that and she was shocked and said it would be a scandalous thing she said there might be female ministers in the states and she believed there was but thank goodness we hadn't got to that stage in Canada yet and she hoped we never would but I don't see why I think women would make splendid ministers when there is a social to be got up or a church tea or anything else to raise money the women have to turn to and do the work I'm sure Mrs. Lynn can pray every bit as well as Superintendent Bell and I've no doubt she could preach too with a little practice yes I believe she could said Marilla Riley she does plenty of unofficial preaching as it is nobody has much of a chance to go wrong and ab and leave with Rachel to oversee them Marilla said Anne in a burst of confidence I want to tell you something and ask you what you think about it it has worried me terribly on Sunday afternoons that is when I think especially about such matters I do really want to be good and when I'm with you or Mrs. Allen or Miss Stacy I want it more than ever and I want to do just what would please you and what you would approve of but mostly when I'm with Mrs. Lynde I feel desperately wicked and as if I wanted to go and do the very thing she tells me I ought to do I feel irresistibly tempted to do it now what do you think is the reason I feel like that do you think it's because I'm really bad and unregenerate Marilla looked dubious for a moment then she laughed if you are I guess I am too Anne for Rachel often has that very effect on me I sometimes think she'd have more of an influence for good as you say yourself if she didn't keep nagging people to do right there should have been a special commandment against nagging but there I shouldn't talk so Rachel is a good Christian woman and she means well there isn't a kinder soul in Avonlea and she never shirks her share of work I'm very glad you feel the same said Anne decidedly it's so encouraging I shan't worry so much over that after this but I dare say there'll be other things to worry me they keep coming up new all the time things to perplex you you know you settle one question and there's another right after there are so many things to be thought over and decided when you're beginning to grow up it keeps me busy all the time thinking them over and deciding what is right it's a serious thing to grow up isn't it Marilla but when I have such good friends as you and Matthew and mrs. Allen and miss Stacy I ought to grow up successfully and I'm sure it will be my own fault if I don't I feel it's a great responsibility because I have only the one chance if I don't grow up right I can't go back and begin over again I've grown two inches this summer Marilla Mr. Gillis measured me at Ruby's party I'm so glad you made my new dresses longer that dark green one is so pretty and it was sweet of you to put on the flounce of course I know it wasn't really necessary but flounces are so stylish this fall and Josie Pie has flounces on all her dresses I know I'll be able to study better because of mine I shall have such a comfortable feeling deep down in my mind about that flounce it's worth something to have that admitted Marilla miss Stacy came back to Avonlea school and found all her pupils eager for work once more especially did the Queen's class gird up their loins for the fray for at the end of the coming year dimly shadowing their pathway already loomed up that fateful thing known as the entrance at the thought of which one and all felt their hearts sink into their very shoes suppose they did not pass that thought was doomed to haunt Anne through the waking hours of that winter Sunday afternoon's inclusive to the almost entire exclusion of moral and theological problems when Anne had bad dreams she found herself staring miserably at pass lists of the entrance exams where Gilbert Blythe's name was blazoned at the top and in which hers did not appear at all but it was a jolly busy happy swift flying winter schoolwork was as interesting class rivalry is absorbing as of your new worlds of thought feeling and ambition fresh fascinating fields of unexplored knowledge seemed to be opening out before Anne's eager eyes hills peeped or hill and Alps on Alps arose much of all this was due to miss Stacy's tactful careful broad-minded guidance she led her class to think and explore and discover for themselves and encourage strength from the old beaten paths to a degree that quite shocked Mrs. Lind and the school trustees who viewed all innovations on established methods rather dubiously apart from her studies Anne expanded socially for Marilla mindful of the Spencer Vale doctors dictum no longer vetoed occasional outings the debating club flourished and gave several concerts there were one or two parties almost verging on grown-up affairs there were sleigh drives and skating frolics galore between times Anne grew shooting up so rapidly that Marilla was astonished one day when they were standing side by side to find the girl was taller than herself why Anne how you've grown she said almost unbelievingly a sigh followed on the words Marilla felt a queer regret over Anne's inches the child she had learned to love had vanished somehow and here was this tall serious-eyed girl of 15 with the thoughtful brows and the proudly poised little head in her place Marilla loved the girl as much as she had loved the child but she was conscious of a queer sorrowful sense of loss and that night when Anne had gone to prayer meeting with Diana Marilla sat alone in the wintry twilight and indulged in the weakness of a cry Matthew coming in with a lantern caught her at it and gazed at her in such consternation that Marilla had to laugh through her tears I was thinking about Anne she explained she's got to be such a big girl and she'll probably be away from us next winter I'll miss her terrible she'll be able to come home often comforted Matthew to whom Anne was as yet and always would be the little eager girl he had brought home from Bright River on that June evening four years before the branch real road will be built to Carmody by that time won't be the same thing as having her here all the time side Marilla gloomily determined to enjoy her luxury of grief uncomforted but there men can't understand these things there were other changes in Anne no less real than the physical change for one thing she became much quieter perhaps she thought all the more and dreamed as much as ever but she certainly talked less Marilla noticed and commented on this also you don't chatter half as much as you used to Anne nor use half as many big words what has come over you Anne colored and laughed a little as she dropped her book and looked dreamily out of the window where big fat red buds were bursting out on the creeper in response to the lure of the spring sunshine I don't know I don't want to talk as much she said denting her chin thoughtfully with her forefinger it's nicer to think dear pretty thoughts and keep them in one's heart like treasures I don't like to have them laughed at or wondered over and somehow I don't want to use big words anymore it's almost a pity isn't it now that I'm really growing big enough to say them if I did want to it's fun to be almost grown up in some ways but it's not the kind of fun I expected Marilla there's so much to learn and do and think that there isn't time for big words besides Miss Stacy says the short ones are much stronger and better she makes us write all our essays as simply as possible it was hard at first I was so used to crowding in all the fine big words I could think of and I thought of any number of them but I've got used to it now and I see it so much better what has become of your story club I haven't heard you speak of it for a long time the story club isn't in existence any longer we hadn't time for it and anyhow I think we had got tired of it it was silly to be writing about love and murder and elopements and mysteries Miss Stacy sometimes has us write a story for training in composition but she won't let us write anything but what might happen in Avonlea in our own lives and she criticizes it very sharply and makes us criticize our own too I never thought my compositions had so many faults until I began to look for them myself I felt so ashamed I wanted to give up all together but Miss Stacy said I could learn to write well if I only trained myself to be my own severest critic and so I am trying to you've only two more months before the entrance said Marilla do you think you'll be able to get through and shivered I don't know sometimes I think I'll be all right and then I get horribly afraid we've studied hard and Miss Stacy has drilled us thoroughly but we may get through for all that we've each got a stumbling block mine is geometry of course and James is Latin and Ruby and Charlie's is algebra and Josie's is arithmetic Moody Spurgeon says he feels it in his bones that he is going to fail in English history Miss Stacy is going to give us examinations in June just as hard as we'll have at the entrance and mark us just as strictly so we'll have some idea I wish it was all over Marilla it haunts me sometimes I wake up in the night and wonder what I'll do if I don't pass why go to school next year and try again said Marilla unconcernedly oh I don't believe I'd have the heart for it it would be such a disgrace to fail especially if guilt if the others passed and I get so nervous in an examination that I'm likely to make a mess of it I wish I had nerves like Jane Andrews nothing rattles her and side and dragging her eyes from the witcheries of the spring world the beckoning day of breeze and blue and the green things up springing in the garden buried herself resolutely in her book there would be other springs but if she did not succeed in passing the entrance Anne felt convinced that she would never recover sufficiently to enjoy them end of chapter 31 chapter 32 of Anne of Green Gables by Lucy Mod Montgomery this is a LibriVox recording all LibriVox recordings are in the public domain for more information or to volunteer please visit LibriVox.org Anne of Green Gables by Lucy Mod Montgomery chapter 32 the pass list is out with the end of June came the close of the term and the close of Miss Stacy's rule in Avonlea school Anne and Diana walked home that evening feeling very sober indeed red eyes and damp handkerchiefs bore convincing testimony to the fact that Miss Stacy's farewell words must have been quite as touching as Mr. Phillips's had been under similar circumstances three years before Diana looked back at the schoolhouse from the foot of the spruce hill and sighed deeply it does seem as if it was the end of everything doesn't it she said dismally you wanted to feel half as badly as I do said Anne hunting vainly for a dry spot on her handkerchief you'll be back again next winter but I suppose I've left the dear old school forever if I have good luck that is it won't be a bit the same miss Stacy won't be there nor you nor Jane nor Ruby probably I shall have to sit all alone for I couldn't bear to have another disk mate after you oh we have had jolly times haven't we Anne it's dreadful to think they're all over two big tears rolled down by Diana's nose if you would stop crying I could said Anne imploringly just as soon as I put away my hanky I see you brimming up and that starts me off again as Mrs. Linda says if you can't be cheerful be as cheerful as you can after all I dare say I'll be back next year this is one of the times I know I'm not going to pass they're getting alarmingly frequent why you came out splendidly in the exams Miss Stacy gave yes but those exams didn't make me nervous when I think of the real thing you can't imagine what a horrid cold fluttery feeling comes around my heart and then my number is 13 and Josie Pie says it's so unlucky I am not superstitious and I know it can make no difference but still I wish it wasn't 13 I do wish I was going in with you said Diana wouldn't we have a perfectly elegant time but I suppose you'll have to cram in the evenings no Miss Stacy has made us promise not to open a book at all she says it would only tire and confuse us and we are to go out walking and not think about the exams at all and go to bed early it's good advice but I expect it will be hard to follow good advice is apt to be I think prissy Andrews told me that she sat up half the night every night of her entrance week and crammed for dear life and I had determined to sit up at least as long as she did it was so kind of your Aunt Josephine to ask me to stay at Beechwood while I'm in town you will write to me while you're in weren't you I'll write Tuesday night and tell you how the first day goes promised Anne I'll be haunting the post office Wednesday vowed Diana Anne went to town the following Monday and on Wednesday Diana haunted the post office as agreed and got her letter dearest Diana wrote Anne here it is Tuesday night and I'm writing this in the library at Beechwood last night I was horribly lonesome all alone in my room and wished so much you were with me I couldn't cram because I'd promised Miss Stacy not to but it was as hard to keep from opening my history as it used to be to keep from reading a story before my lessons were learned this morning Miss Stacy came for me and we went to the academy calling for Jane and Ruby and Josie on our way Ruby asked me to feel her hands and they were as cold as ice Josie said I looked as if I hadn't slept a wink and she didn't believe I was strong enough to stand to the grind of the teacher's course even if I did get through there are times and seasons even yet when I don't feel that I've made any great headway and learning to like Josie Pie when we reached the academy there were scores of students there from all over the island the first person we saw was Moody Spurgeon sitting on the steps and muttering away to himself Jane asked him what on earth he was doing and he said he was repeating the multiplication table over and over to steady his nerves and for pity's sake not to interrupt him because if he stopped for a moment he got frightened and forgot everything he ever knew but the multiplication table kept all his facts firmly in their proper place when we were assigned to our rooms Miss Stacy had to leave us Jane and I sat together and Jane was so composed that I envied her no need of the multiplication table for good steady sensible Jane I wondered if I looked as I felt and if they could hear my heart thumping clear across the room then a man came in and began distributing the English examination sheets my hands grew cold then and my head fairly whirled around as I picked it up just one awful moment Diana I felt exactly as I did four years ago when I asked Marilla if I might stay at Green Gables and then everything cleared up in my mind and my heart began beating again I forgot to say that it had stopped altogether for I knew I could do something with that paper anyhow at noon we went home for dinner and then back again for history in the afternoon the history was a pretty hard paper and I got dreadfully mixed up in the dates still I think I did fairly well today but oh Diana tomorrow the geometry exam comes off and when I think of it it takes every bit of determination I possess to keep from opening my euclid if I thought the multiplication table would help me any I would recite it from now till tomorrow morning I went down to see the other girls this evening on my way I met Moody Spurgeon wandering distractedly around he said he knew that he had failed in history and he was born to be a disappointment to his parents and he was going home on the morning train and it would be easier to be a carpenter than a minister anyhow I cheered him up and persuaded him to stay to the end because it would be unfair to miss Stacy if he didn't sometimes I have wished I was born a boy but when I see Moody Spurgeon I'm always glad I'm a girl and not his sister Ruby was in hysterics when I reached their boarding house she had just discovered a fearful mistake she had made in her English paper when she recovered we went uptown and had an ice cream how we wished you had been with us oh Diana if only the geometry examination were over but there as mrs. Lindwood say the sun will go on rising and setting whether I fail in geometry or not that is true but not especially comforting I think I'd rather it didn't go on if I failed yours devotedly Anne the geometry examination and all the others were over in due time and Anne arrived home on Friday evening rather tired but with an air of chastened triumph about her Diana was over at Green Gables when she arrived and they met as if they had been parted for years you old darling it's perfectly splendid to see you back again it seems like an age since you went to town and oh Anne how did you get along pretty well I think in everything but the geometry I don't know whether I passed in it or not and I have a creepy crawly presentiment that I didn't oh how good it is to be back Green Gables is the dearest loveliest spot in the world how did the others do the girls say they know they didn't pass but I think they did pretty well Josie says the geometry was so easy a child of 10 could do it Moody Spurgeon still thinks he failed in history and Charlie says he failed in algebra but we don't really know anything about it and won't until the past list is out that won't be for a fortnight fancy living a fortnight in such suspense I wish I could go to sleep and never wake up until it is over Diana knew it would be useless to ask how Gilbert Blythe had fared so she merely said oh you're parcel right don't worry I'd rather not pass at all than not come out pretty well up on the list flashed Anne by which she meant and Diana knew she meant that success would be incomplete and bitter if she did not come out ahead of Gilbert Blythe with this end in view Anne had strained every nerve during the examinations so had Gilbert they had met and passed each other on the street a dozen times without any sign of recognition and every time Anne had held her head a little higher and wished a little more earnestly that she had made friends with Gilbert when he asked her and vowed a little more determinedly to surpass him in the examination she knew that all Avonlea junior was wondering which would come out first she even knew that Jimmy Glover and Ned Wright had a bet on the question and that Josie Pie had said there was no doubt in the world that Gilbert would be first and she felt that her humiliation would be unbearable if she failed but she had another and nobler motive for wishing to do well she wanted to pass high for the sake of Matthew and Marilla especially Matthew Matthew had declared to her his conviction that she would beat the whole island that and felt was something it would be foolish to hope for even in the wildest dreams but she did hope fervently that she would be among the first ten at least so that she might see Matthew's kindly brown eyes gleam with pride in her achievement that she felt would be a sweet reward indeed for all her hard work and patient grubbing among unimaginative equations and conjugations at the end of the fortnight and took to haunting the post office also in the distracted company of Jane Ruby and Josie opening the charlotte town dailies with shaking hands and cold sink away feelings as bad as any experienced during the entrance week charlie and Gilbert were not above doing this too but moody spurgeon stayed resolutely away i haven't got the grit to go there and look at a paper and cold blood he told an i'm just going to wait until somebody comes and tells me suddenly whether i've passed or not when three weeks had gone by without the past list appearing and began to feel that she really couldn't stand the strain much longer her appetite failed and her interest in avidly doings languished mrs. lind wanted to know what else you could expect with the Tory superintendent of education at the head of the affairs and Matthew noting Anne's paleness and indifference and the lagging steps that bore her home from the post office every afternoon began seriously to wonder if he hadn't better vote grit at the next election but one evening the news came an was sitting at her open window for the time forgetful of the woes of examinations in the cares of the world as she drank in the beauty of the summer dusk sweet scented with flower breaths from the garden below and sibilant and wrestling from the stir of poplars the eastern sky above the furs was flushed faintly pink from the reflection of the west and an was wondering dreamily of the spirit of color looked like that when she saw diana come flying down through the furs over the log bridge and up the slope with a fluttering newspaper in her hand and sprang to her feet knowing at once what that paper contained the past list was out her head whirled and her heart beat until it hurt her she could not move a step it seemed an hour to her before diana came rushing along the hall and burst into the room without even knocking so great was her excitement and you've passed she cried past the very first you and gilbert both your ties but your name is first oh i'm so proud diana flung the paper on the table and herself on an's bed utterly breathless and incapable of further speech an lighted the lamp oversetting the match safe and using up half a dozen matches before her shaking hands could accomplish the task then she snatched up the paper yes she had passed there was her name at the very top of a list of 200 that moment was worth living for you did just splendidly an puffed diana recovering sufficiently to sit up and speak for an starry eyed and wrapped had not uttered a word father brought the paper home from bright river not ten minutes ago it came out on the afternoon train you know and weren't be here till tomorrow by mail and when i saw the past list i just rushed over lack of wild thing you've all passed every one of you moody spurgeon and all although he's conditioned in history jane and ruby did pretty well they're halfway up and so did charlie josey just scraped through with three marks to spare but you'll see she'll put on as many errors as if she led wouldn't stacy be delighted oh an what does it feel like to see your name at the head of a past list like that if it were me i know i'd go crazy with joy i am pretty near crazy as it is but you're as calm and cool as a spring evening i'm just dazzled inside said an i want to say a hundred things and i can't find words to say them in i never dreamed of this yes i did too just once i let myself think once what if i should come out first quakingly you know for it seemed so vain and presumptuous to think i could lead the island excuse me a minute diana i must run right out to the field to tell matthew then we'll go up the road and tell the good news to the others they hurry to the hayfield below the barn where matthew was coiling hay and as luck would have it mrs. lind was talking to marilla at the lane fence oh matthew exclaimed an i've passed and i'm first or one of the first i'm not vain but i'm thankful well now i always said it said matthew gazing at the past list delightedly i knew you could beat them all easy you've done pretty well i must say an said marilla trying to hide her extreme pride in an for mrs. rachel's critical eye but that good soul said heartily i guess she's done well and far be it for me to be backward and saying it you're a credit to your friends and that's why but we're all proud of you that night an who had wound up the delightful evening with a serious little talk with mrs. allen at the manse knelt sweetly by her open window in a great sheen of moonshine and murmured a prayer of gratitude and aspiration that came straight from her heart there was a knit thankfulness for the past and reverent petition for the future and when she slept on her white pillow her dreams were as fair and bright and beautiful as maidenhood might desire end of chapter 32 chapter 33 of an of green gables by lucy mod montgomery this is a libra vox recording all libra vox recordings are in the public domain for more information or to volunteer please visit libra vox dot org an of green gables by lucy mod montgomery chapter 33 the hotel concert put on your white or gandy by all means and advised diana decidedly they were together in the east gable chamber outside it was only twilight a lovely yellowish green twilight with a clear blue cloudless sky a big round moon slowly deepening from her pallid luster into burnished silver hung over the haunted wood the air was full of sweet summer sounds sleepy birds twittering freakish breezes far away voices and laughter but in an's room the blind was drawn and the lamp lighted for an important toilet was being made the east gable was a very different place from what it had been on that night four years before when an had felt its bareness penetrate to the marrow of her spirit with its inhospitable chill changes had crept in marilla conniving at them resignedly until it was as sweet and deity a nest as a young girl could desire the velvet carpet with the pink roses and the pink silk curtains of an's early visions had certainly never materialized but her dreams had kept pace with her growth and it is not probable she lamented them the floor was covered with a pretty matting and the curtains that softened the high window and fluttered in the vagrant breezes were of pale green art muslin the walls hung not with gold and silver brocade tapestry but with a dainty apple blossom paper were adorned with a few good pictures given an by mrs allen miss stacey's photograph occupied the place of honor and an made a sentimental point of keeping fresh flowers on the bracket under it tonight a spike of white lilies faintly perfumed the room like the dream of a fragrance there was no mahogany furniture but there was a white painted bookcase filled with books a cushioned wicker rocker a toilet table befilled with white muslin a quaint guilt framed mirror with chubby pink cupids and purple grapes painted over its arched top that used to hang in the spare room and a low white bed an was dressing for a concert at the white sands hotel the guests had got it up in aid of the charlotte town hospital and had hunted out all the available amateur talent in the surrounding districts to help it along bertha sampson and pearl clay of the white sands baptist choir had been asked to sing a duet milton clark of newbridge was to give a violin solo winnie adela blaire of comedy was to sing a scotch ballad and laura spencer veil and an surely of avonlea were to recite as an would have said at one time it was an epic in her life and she was deliciously a thrill with the excitement of it matthew was in the seventh heaven of gratified pride over the honor conferred on his an and marilla was not far behind although she would have died rather than admit it and said she didn't think it was very proper for a lot of young folks to be gadding over to the hotel without any responsible person with them an and diana were to drive over with jane andrews and her brother billy in their double-seated buggy and several other avonlea girls and boys were going to there was a party of visitors expected out from town and after the concert a supper was to be given to the performers do you really think the organdy will be best queried an anxiously i don't think it's as pretty as my blue flowered muslin and it certainly isn't so fashionable but it suits you ever so much better said diana it's so soft and frilly and clinging the muslin is stiff and makes you look too dressed up but the organdy seems as if it grew on you and sighed and yielded diana was beginning to have a reputation for notable taste in dressing and her advice on such subjects was much sought after she was looking very pretty herself on this particular night in a dress of the lovely wild rose pink from which an was forever debarred but she was not to take any part in the concert so her appearance was of minor importance all her pains were bestowed upon an who she vowed must for the credit of avonlea be dressed and combed and adorned to the queen's taste pull out that frill a little more so yeah let me tie your sash now for your slippers i'm going to braid your hair into two thick braids and tie them halfway up with big white bows no don't pull out a single curl over your forehead just have the soft part there's no way you do your hair suits you so well an and mrs ellen says you look like a Madonna when you parted so i shall fasten this little white house rose just behind your ear there was just one on my bush and i saved it for you shall i put my pearl beads on asked an math you brought me a string from town last week and i know he'd like to see them on me diana pursed up her lips put her black head on one side critically and finally pronounced in favor of the beads which were thereupon tied around an slim milk white throat there's something so stylish about you and said diana with unendvious admiration you hold your head with such an air i suppose it's your figure i'm just a dumpling i've always been afraid of it and now i know it is so well i suppose i'll just have to resign myself to it but you have such dimples said an smiling affectionately into the pretty vivacious face so near her own lovely dimples like little dense and cream i have given up all hope of dimples my dimple dream will never come true but so many of my dreams have that i mustn't complain am i already now already assured diana as marilla appeared in the doorway a gaunt figure with grayer hair than of yore and no fewer angles but with a much softer come right in and look at our elocutionist marilla doesn't she look lovely marilla emitted a sound between a sniff and a grunt she looks neat and proper i like that way of fixing her hair but i expect she'll ruin that dress driving over there in the dust and do with it and it looks most too thin for these damp nights organdy's the most unserviceable stuff in the world anyhow and i told matthew so when he got it but there is no use in saying anything to matthew nowadays time was when he would take my advice but now he just buys things for an regardless and the clerks at car but he know they can palm anything off on him just let them tell him a thing is pretty infashionable and matthew plunks his money down for it mind you keep your skirt clear of the wheel an and put your warm jacket on then marilla stalked downstairs thinking proudly how sweet an looked with that one moonbeam from the forehead to the crown and regretting that she could not go to the concert herself to hear her girl recite i wonder if it is too damp for my dress said an anxiously not a bit of it said diana pulling up the window blind it's a perfect night and there won't be any dew look at the moonlight i'm so glad my window looks east into the sun rising said an going over to diana it's so splendid to see the morning coming up over those long hills and glowing through those sharp fur tops it's new every morning and i feel as if i washed my very soul in that bath of earliest sunshine oh diana i love this little room so dearly i don't know how i'll get along without it when i go to town next month don't speak of your going away tonight begged diana i don't want to think of it it makes me so miserable and i do want to have a good time this evening what are you going to recite an and are you nervous not a bit i've recited so often in public i don't mind it all now i've decided to give the maidens vow it's so pathetic laura spencer is going to give a comic recitation but i'd rather make people cry than laugh what will you recite if they all call you they won't dream of on calling me scoffed an who was not without her own secret hopes that they would and already visioned herself telling matthew all about it at the next morning's breakfast table there are billy and jane now i hear the wheels come on billy andrews insisted that an should ride on the front seat with him so she unwillingly climbed up she would have much preferred to sit back with the girls where she could have laughed and chatter to her heart's content there was not much of either laughter or chatter in billy he was a big fat stalled youth of 20 with a round expressionless face and a painful lack of conversational gifts but he admired an immensely and was puffed up with pride over the prospect of driving to white sands with that slim upright figure beside him and by dint of talking over her shoulder to the girls and occasionally passing a stop of civility to billy who grinned and chuckled and never could think of any reply until it was too late contrived to enjoy the drive in spite of all it was a night for enjoyment the road was full of buggies all bound for the hotel and laughter silver clear echoed and re echoed along it when they reached the hotel it was a blaze of light from top to bottom they were met by the ladies of the concert committee one of whom took an off to the performers dressing room which was filled with the members of a charlotte town symphony club among whom and felt suddenly shy and frightened and contrived her dress which in the east gable had seemed so dainty and pretty now seemed simple and plain too simple and plain she thought among all the silks and laces that glistened and rustled around her what were her pearl beads compared to the diamonds of the big handsome lady near her and how poor her one wee white rose must look beside all the hot house flowers the others were and laid her half and jacket away and shrank miserably into a corner she wished herself back in the white room at green gables it was still worse on the platform of the big concert hall of the hotel where she presently found herself the electric lights dazzled her eyes the perfume and hum bewildered her she wished she were sitting down in the audience with diana and jane who seemed to be having a splendid time away at the back she was wedged in between a stout lady in pink silk and a tall scornful looking girl in a white lace dress the stout lady occasionally turned her head squarely around and surveyed and through her eyeglasses until an acutely sensitive of being so scrutinized felt that she must scream aloud and the white lace girl kept talking audibly to her next neighbor about the country bumpkins and rustic bells in the audience languidly anticipating such fun from the displays of local talent on the program and believed that she would hate that white lace girl to the end of life unfortunately for an a professional elocutionist was staying at the hotel and had consented to recite she was a lithe dark eyed woman in a wonderful gown of shimmering gray stuff like woven moonbeams with gems on her neck and in her dark hair she had a marvelously flexible voice and wonderful power of expression the audience went wild over her selection Anne forgetting all about herself and her troubles for the time listened with wrapped and shining eyes but when the recitation ended she suddenly put her hands over her face she could never get up and recite after that never had she ever thought she could recite oh if she were only back at green gables at this unpropitious moment her name was called somehow Anne who did not notice the rather guilty little start of surprise the white lace girl gave and would not have understood the subtle compliment implied therein if she had got on her feet and moved dizzily out to the front she was so pale that Diana and Jane down in the audience clasped each other's hands in nervous sympathy Anne was the victim of an overwhelming attack of stage fright often as she had recited in public she had never before faced such an audience as this and the sight of it paralyzed her energies completely everything was so strange so brilliant so bewildering the rows of ladies in evening dress the critical faces the whole atmosphere of wealth and culture about her very different this from the plain benches at the debating club filled with the homely sympathetic faces of friends and neighbors these people she thought would be merciless critics perhaps like the white lace girl they anticipated amusement from her rustic efforts she felt hopelessly helplessly ashamed and miserable her knees trembled her heart fluttered a horrible faintness came over her not a word could she utter and the next moment she would have fled from the platform despite the humiliation which she felt must ever after be her portion if she did so but suddenly as her dilated frightened eyes gazed out over the audience she saw Gilbert Blythe away at the back of the room bending forward with a smile on his face a smile which seemed to Anne at once triumphant and taunting in reality it was nothing of the kind Gilbert was merely smiling with appreciation of the whole affair in general and of the effect produced by Anne's slender white form and spiritual face against a background of palms in particular Josie Pie whom he had driven over sat beside him and her face certainly was both triumphant and taunting but Anne did not see Josie and would not have cared if she had she drew a long breath and flung her head up proudly courage and determination tingling over her like an electric shock she would not fail before Gilbert Blythe he should never be able to laugh at her never never her fright and nervousness vanished and she began her recitation her clear sweet voice reaching to the farthest corner of the room without a tremor or a break self-possession was fully restored to her and in the reaction from that horrible moment of powerlessness she recited as she had never done before when she finished there were bursts of honest applause Anne stepping back to her seat blushing with shyness and delight found her hand vigorously clasped and shaken by the stout lady in pink silk my dear you did splendidly she puffed i've been crying like a baby actually i have there they're incoring you they're bound to have you back oh i can't go said Anne confusedly but yet i must or Matthew will be disappointed he said they would encore me then don't disappoint Matthew said the pink lady laughing smiling blushing limpid-eyed Anne tripped back and gave a quaint funny little selection that captivated her audience still further the rest of the evening was quite a little triumph for her when the concert was over the stout pink lady who was the wife of an american millionaire took her under her wing and introduced her to everybody and everybody was very nice to her the professional elocutionist mrs evans came and chatted with her telling her that she had a charming voice and interpreted her selections beautifully even the white lace girl paid her a languid little compliment they had supper in the big beautifully decorated dining room Diana and Jane were invited to partake of this also since they had come with Anne but billy was nowhere to be having decamped in mortal fear of some such invitation he was in waiting for them with the team however when it was all over and the three girls came merrily out into the calm white moonshine radiance Anne breathed deeply and looked into the clear sky beyond the dark boughs of the furs oh it was good to be out again in the purity and silence of the night how great and still and wonderful everything was with the murmur of the sea sounding through it and the darkling cliffs beyond like grim giants guarding enchanted coasts hasn't it been a perfectly splendid time sigh jane as they drove away i just wish i was a rich american and could spend my summer at a hotel and wear jewels and low-neck dresses and have ice cream and chicken salad every blessed day i'm sure it would be ever so much more fun than teaching school and your recitation was simply great although i thought at first you were never going to begin i think it was better than mrs evans oh no don't say things like that jane said Anne quickly because it sounds silly it couldn't be better than mrs evans as you know for she is a professional and i'm only a school girl with a little knack of reciting i'm quite satisfied if the people just liked mine pretty well i've a compliment for you Anne said Diana at least i think it must be a compliment because of the tone he said it in part of it was anyhow there was an american sitting behind jane and me such a romantic looking man with cold black hair and eyes jersey pie says he is a distinguished artist and that her mother's cousin in boston is married to a man that used to go to school with him well we heard him say didn't we jane who is that girl on the platform with the splendid tition hair she has a face i should like to paint there now Anne but what does tition hair mean being interpreted it means plain red i guess laughed Anne tition was a very famous artist who liked to paint red haired women did you see all the diamonds those ladies wore side jane they were simply dazzling wouldn't you just love to be rich girls we are rich said Anne staunchly why we have 16 years to our credit and we're as happy as queens and we've all got imaginations more or less look at that sea girls all silver and shadow and vision of things not seen we couldn't enjoy its loveliness anymore if we had millions of dollars and ropes of diamonds you wouldn't change into any of those women if you could would you want to be that white lace girl and wear a sour look all your life as if you'd been born turning up your nose at the world or the pink lady kind and nice as she is so stout and short that you'd really know figure at all or even mrs. evans with that sad sad look in her eyes she must have been dreadfully unhappy some time to have such a look you know you wouldn't jane andrews i don't know exactly said jane unconvinced i think diamonds would comfort a person for a good deal well i don't want to be anyone but myself even if i go uncomforted by diamonds all my life declared an i'm quite content to be an of green gables with my string of pearl beads i know matthew gave me as much love with them as ever went with madame the pink ladies jewels end of chapter 33 chapter 34 of an of green gables by lucy mod montgomery this is a libravox recording all libravox recordings are in the public domain for more information or to volunteer please visit libravox.org an of green gables by lucy mod montgomery chapter 34 a queens girl the next three weeks were busy ones at green gables for an was getting ready to go to queens and there was much sowing to be done and many things to be talked over and arranged and outfit was ample and pretty for matthew saw to that and marilla for once made no objections whatever to anything he purchased or suggested more one evening she went up to the east gable with her arms full of a delicate pale green material and here's something for a nice light dress for you i don't suppose you really need it you've plenty of pretty wastes but i thought maybe you'd like something real dressy to wear if you were asked out anywhere of an evening in town to a party or anything like that i hear that jane and ruby and josey have got evening dresses as they call them and i don't mean you shall be behind them i got mrs allen to help me pick it in town last week and we'll get emily guillis to make it for you emily has got taste and her fits aren't to be equaled oh marilla it's just lovely said ann thank you so much i don't believe you ought to be so kind to me it's making it harder every day for me to go away the green dress was made up with as many tucks and frills and shirrings as emily's taste permitted ann put it on one evening for matthew's and marilla's benefit and recited the maiden's vow for them in the kitchen as marilla watched the bright animated face and graceful motions her thoughts went back to the evening ann had arrived at green gables and memory recalled a vivid picture of the odd frightened child in her preposterous yellowish brown wincy dress the heartbreak looking out of her tearful eyes something in the memory brought tears to marilla's own eyes i declare my recitation has made you cry marilla said ann gaily stooping over marilla's chair to drop a butterfly kiss on that lady's cheek now i call that a positive triumph no i wasn't crying over your piece said marilla who would have scorned to be betrayed into such weakness by any poetry stuff i just couldn't help thinking of the little girl you used to be ann and i was wishing you could have stayed a little girl even with all your queer ways you've grown up now and you're going away and you look so tall and stylish and so so different altogether in that dress as if you didn't belong in avonlea at all and i just got lonesome thinking it all over marilla ann sat down on marilla's gingham lap took marilla's lined face between her hands and looked gravely and tenderly into marilla's eyes i'm not a bit changed not really i'm only just pruned down and branched out the real me back here is just the same it won't make a bit of difference where i go or how much i change outwardly at heart i shall always be your little ann who will love you and matthew and dear green gables more and better every day of her life ann laid her fresh young cheek against marilla's faded one and reached out a hand to pat matthew's shoulder marilla would have given much just then to have possessed ann's power of putting her feelings into words but nature and habit had wielded otherwise and she could only put her arms close about her girl and hold her tenderly to her heart wishing that she need never let her go matthew with a suspicious moisture in his eyes got up and went out of doors under the stars of the blue summer night he walked agitatedly across the yard to the gate under the poplars well now i guess she ain't been much spoiled he muttered proudly i guess my putting in my or occasional never did much harm after all she's smart and pretty and loving too which is better than all the rest she's been a blessing to us and there never was a luckier mistake than what mrs spencer made if it was luck i don't believe it was any such thing it was providence because the almighty saw we needed her i reckon the day finally came when ann must go to town she and matthew drove in one fine september morning after a tearful parting with diana and an untearful practical one on marilla's side at least with marilla but when an had gone diana dried her tears and went to a beach picnic at white sands with some of her carmity cousins where she contrived to enjoy herself tolerably well while marilla plunged fiercely into unnecessary work and kept at it all day long with the bitterest kind of heartache the ache that burns and gnaws and cannot wash itself away in ready tears but that night when marilla went to bed acutely and miserably conscious that the little gable room at the end of the hall was untenanted by any vivid young life and unstirred by any soft breathing she buried her face in her pillow and wept for her girl in a passion of sobs that appalled her when she grew calm enough to reflect how very wicked it must be to take on so about a sinful fellow creature ann and the rest of the avonlea scholars reached town just in time to hurry off to the academy that first day passed pleasantly enough in a world of excitement meeting all the new students learning to know the professors by sight and being assorted and organized into classes ann intended taking up the second year work being advised to do so by miss stacey gilbert blythe elected to do the same this meant getting a first class teacher's license in one year instead of two if they were successful but it also meant much more and harder work jane ruby joey charlie and moody spurgeon not being troubled with the stirrings of ambition were content to take up the second class work ann was conscious of a pang of loneliness when she found herself in a room with 50 other students not one of whom she knew except the tall brown haired boy across the room and knowing him in the fashion she did did not help her much as she reflected pessimistically yet she was undeniably glad that they were in the same class the old rivalry could still be carried on and ann would hardly have known what to do if it had been lacking i wouldn't feel comfortable without it she thought gilbert looks awfully determined i suppose he's making up his mind here and now to win the medal what a splendid chin he has i never noticed it before i do wish jane and ruby had gone in for first class too i suppose i won't feel so much like a cat in a strange garret when i get acquainted though i wonder which of the girls here are going to be my friends it's really an interesting speculation of course i promised ianna that no queen's girl no matter how much i liked her should ever be as dear to me as she is but i've lots of second best affections to bestow i like the look of that girl with the brown eyes and the crimson waist she looks vivid and red rosy there's that pale fair one gazing out of the window she has lovely hair and looks as if she knew a thing or two about dreams i'd like to know them both know them well well enough to walk with my arm about their waists and call them nicknames but just now i don't know them and they don't know me and probably don't want to know me particularly oh it's lonesome it was lonesomer still when ann found herself alone in her hall bedroom that night at twilight she was not to board with the other girls who all had relatives in town to take pity on them miss josephine berry would have liked to board her but beachwood was so far from the academy that it was out of the question so miss berry hunted up a boarding house assuring matthew and marilla that it was the very place for an the lady who keeps it is a reduced gentleman explained miss berry her husband was a british officer and she's very careful what sort of border she takes and will not meet with any objectionable person under her roof the table is good and the house is near the academy in a quiet neighborhood all this might be quite true and indeed proved to be so but it did not materially help an in the first agony of homesickness that seized upon her she looked dismally about her narrow little room with its dull papered pictureless walls its small iron bedstead an empty bookcase and a horrible choke came into her throat as she thought of her own white room at green gables where she would have the pleasant consciousness of a great green still outdoors of sweet peas growing in the garden and moonlight falling on the orchard of the brook below the slope and the spruce boughs tossing in the night wind beyond it of a vast starry sky and the light from diana's window shining out through the gap in the trees here there was nothing of this ann knew that outside of her window was a hard street with a network of telephone wires shutting out the sky the tramp of alien feet and a thousand lights gleaming on stranger faces she knew that she was going to cry and fought against it i won't cry it's silly and weak there's the third tear splashing down by my nose there are more coming i must think of something funny to stop them but there's nothing funny except what is connected with avonlea and that only makes things worse four five i'm going home next friday but that seems a hundred years away oh matthew is nearly home by now and marilla is at the gate looking down the lane for him six seven eight oh there's no use in counting them they're coming in a flood presently i can't cheer up i don't want to cheer up it's nicer to be miserable the flood of tears would have come no doubt had not joe z pie appeared at that moment in the joy of seeing a familiar face and forgot that there had never been much love lost between her and joe z as a part of avonlea life even a pie was welcome i'm so glad you came up and said sincerely you've been crying remarked joe z with aggravating pity i suppose you're homesick some people have so little self-control in that respect i have no intention of being homesick i can tell you town's too jolly after that pokey old avonlea i wonder how i ever existed there so long you shouldn't cry an it isn't becoming for your nose and eyes get red and then you seem all red i had a perfectly scrumptious time in the academy today our french professor is simply a duck his mustache would give you co-wallops of the heart have you anything eatable around and i'm literally starving uh i guess likely mirla'd load you up with cake that's why i call around otherwise i'd have gone to the park to hear the band play with frank stockley he bored same place as i do and he's a sport he noticed you in class today and asked me who the redheaded girl was i told him you were an orphan and that the cuffspers had adopted and nobody knew very much about what you'd been before that and was wondering if after all solitude and tears were not more satisfactory than joe z pie's companionship when jane and ruby appeared each with an inch of queen's color ribbon purple and scarlet pinned proudly to her coat as josey was not speaking to jane just then she had to subside into comparative harmlessness well said jane with a sigh i feel as if i'd lived many moons since the morning i ought to be home studying my virgil that horrid old professor gave us 20 lines to start in on tomorrow but i simply couldn't settle down to study tonight and me thinks i see the traces of tears if you've been crying do own up it will restore my self-respect for i was shedding tears freely before ruby came along i don't mind being a goose so much if somebody else is goosey too cake you'll give me a teeny piece won't you thank you it has the real avonlea flavor ruby perceiving the queen's calendar lying on the table wanted to know if an meant to try for the gold medal and blushed and admitted she was thinking of it oh that reminds me said josey queens is to get one of the every scholarships after all the word came today frank stockley told me his uncle is one of the board of governors you know it will be announced in the academy tomorrow an every scholarship and felt her heart beat more quickly and the horizons of her ambition shifted and broadened as if by magic before josey had told the news and highest pinnacle of aspiration had been a teacher's provincial license first class at the end of the year and perhaps the medal but now in one moment and saw herself winning the avery scholarship taking an arts course at redmond college and graduating in a gown and mortar board before the echo of josey's words had died away for the avery scholarship was in english and an felt that here her foot was on native heath a wealthy manufacturer of new brunswick had died and left part of his fortune to endow a large number of scholarships to be distributed among the various high schools and academies of the maritime provinces according to their respective standings there had been much doubt whether one would be allotted to queens but the matter was settled at last and at the end of the year the graduate who made the highest mark in english and english literature would win the scholarship two hundred and fifty dollars a year for four years at redmond college no wonder that an went to bed that night with tingling cheeks i'll win that scholarship if hard work can do it she resolved wouldn't matthew be proud if i got to be a ba oh it's delightful to have ambitions i'm so glad i have such a lot and there never seems to be any end to them that's the best of it just as soon as you attain to one ambition you see another one glittering higher up still it does make life so interesting end of chapter 34 chapter 35 of an of green gables by lucy mod montgomery this is a libravox recording all libravox recordings are in the public domain for more information or to volunteer please visit libravox.org and of green gables by lucy mod montgomery chapter 35 the winter at queens and homesickness wore off greatly helped in the wearing by her weekend visits home as long as the open weather lasted the avonlea students went out to carmody on the new branch railway every friday night diana and several other avonlea young folks were generally on hand to meet them and they all walked over to avonlea in a merry party and thought those friday evening gypsyings over the autumnal hills in the crisp golden air with the home lights of avonlea twinkling beyond were the best and dearest hours in the whole week gilbert blithe nearly always walked with ruby gillis and carried her satchel for her ruby was a very handsome young lady now thinking herself quite as grown up as she really was she wore her skirts as long as her mother would let her and did her hair up in town though she had to take it down when she went home she had large bright blue eyes a brilliant complexion and a plump showy figure she laughed a great deal was cheerful and good tempered and enjoyed the pleasant things of life frankly but i shouldn't think she was the sort of girl gilbert would like whispered jane to an and did not think so either but she would not have said so for the avery scholarship she could not help thinking too that it would be very pleasant to have such a friend as gilbert to jest and chatter with and exchange ideas about books and studies and ambitions gilbert had ambitions she knew and ruby gillis did not seem the sort of person with whom such could be profitably discussed there was no silly sentiment in an's ideas concerning gilbert boys were to her when she thought about them at all merely possible good comrades if she and gilbert had been friends she would not have cared how many other friends he had nor with whom he walked she had a genius for friendship girlfriends she had in plenty but she had a vague consciousness that masculine friendship might also be a good thing to round out one's conceptions of companionship and furnish broader standpoints of judgment and comparison not that an could have put her feelings on the matter into just such clear definition but she thought that if gilbert had ever walked home with her from the train over the crisp fields and along the ferny byways they might have had many and merry and interesting conversations about the new world that was opening around them and their hopes and ambitions therein gilbert was a clever young fellow with his own thoughts about things and a determination to get the best out of life and put the best into it ruby gillis told jane andrews that she didn't understand half the things gilbert live said he talked just like and surely did when she had a thoughtful fit on and for her part she didn't think it any fun to be bothering about books and that sort of thing when you didn't have to frank stockley had lots more dash and go but then he wasn't half as good looking as gilbert and she really couldn't decide which she liked best in the academy an gradually drew a little circle of friends about her thoughtful imaginative ambitious students like herself with the rose red girl stella maynard and the dream girl persilla grant she soon became intimate finding the latter pale spiritual looking maiden to be full to the brim of mischief and pranks and fun while the vivid black eyed stella had a heart full of wistful dreams and fancies as aerial and rainbow like is ands own after the christmas holidays the avonlea students gave up going home on fridays and settled down to hard work by this time all the queen scholars had gravitated into their own places in the ranks and the various classes had assumed distinct and settled shadings of individuality certain facts had become generally accepted it was admitted that the metal contestants had practically narrowed down to three gilbert blithe and surely and lewis wilson the avery scholarship was more doubtful any one of a certain six being a possible winner the bronze medal for mathematics was considered as good as one by a fat funny little up country boy with a bumpy forehead and a patched coat ruby gillis was the handsomest girl of the year at the academy in the second year classes stella maynard carried off the palm for beauty with a small but critical minority in favor of an surely ethyl mar was admitted by all competent judges to have the most stylish modes of hairdressing and jane andrews plain plodding conscientious jane carried off the honors in the domestic science course even josie pie attained a certain preeminence as the sharpest tongueed young lady in attendance at queens so it may be fairly stated that miss stacey's old pupils held their own in the wider arena of the academical course and worked hard and steadily her rivalry with gilbert was as intense as it had ever been in avonlea school although it was not known in the class at large but somehow the bitterness had gone out of it and no longer wished to win for the sake of defeating gilbert rather for the proud consciousness of a well-won victory over a worthy foeman it would be worthwhile to win but she no longer thought life would be insupportable if she did not in spite of lessons the students found opportunities for pleasant times ann spent many of her spare hours at beechwood and generally ate her sunday dinners there and went to church with miss berry the latter was as she admitted growing old but her black eyes were not dim nor the vigor of her tongue in the least abated but she never sharpened the latter on ann who continued to be a prime favorite with the critical old lady that in girl improves all the time she said i get tired of other girls they're such a provoking and eternal sameness about them ann has as many shades as a rainbow and every shade is the previous while it lasts i don't know that she is as amusing as she was when she was a child but she makes me love her and i like people who make me love them it saves me so much travel in making myself love of them then almost before anybody realized it spring had come out in avonlea the mayflowers were peeping pinkly out on the seer barons where snow wreaths lingered and the mist of green was on the woods and in the valleys but in charlotte town harassed queen students thought and talked only of examinations it doesn't seem possible that the term is nearly over said ann why last fall it seemed so long to look forward to a whole winter of studies and classes and here we are with the exams looming up next week girls sometimes i feel as if those exams meant everything but when i look at the big buds swelling on those chestnut trees and the misty blue air at the end of the streets they don't seem half so important jane and ruby and josey who had dropped in did not take this view of it to them the coming examinations were constantly very important indeed far more important than chestnut buds or maytime hazes it was all very well for ann who was sure of passing at least to have her moments of belittling them but when your whole future depended on them as the girls truly thought theirs did you could not regard them philosophically i've lost seven pounds in the last two weeks side jane it's no use to say don't worry i will worry worrying helps you some it seems as if you were doing something when you're worrying it would be dreadful if i fail to get my license after going to queens all winter and spending so much money i don't care said josey pie if i don't pass this year i'm coming back next my father can afford to send me and frank stockley says that professor tremaine said gilbert blithe was sure to get the medal and that emily clay would likely win the avery scholarship that may make me feel badly tomorrow josey laughed an but just now i honestly feel that as long as i know the violence are coming out all purple down in the hollow below green gables and that little ferns are poking their heads up in lovers lane it's not a great deal of difference whether i win the avery or not i've done my best and i begin to understand what is meant by the joy of the strife next to trying and winning the best thing is trying and failing girls don't talk about exams look at that arch of pale green sky over those houses and picture to yourself what it must look like over the purpley dark beachwoods back of abin lee what are you going to wear for commencement jane asked ruby practically jane and josey both answered it once and the chatter drifted into a side eddy of fashions but an with her elbows on the windowsill her soft cheek laid against her clasped hands and her eyes filled with visions looked out unheatingly across city roof inspire to that glorious dome of sunset sky and wove her dreams of a possible future from the golden tissue of youth's own optimism all the beyond was hers with its possibilities lurking rosely in the oncoming years each year a rose of promise to be woven into an immortal chaplet end of chapter 35 chapter 36 of an of green gables by lucy mod montgomery this is a libravox recording all libravox recordings are in the public domain for more information or to volunteer please visit libravox.org an of green gables by lucy mod montgomery chapter 36 the glory and the dream on the morning when the final results of all the examinations were to be posted on the bulletin board at queens an and jane walked down the street together jane was smiling and happy examinations were over and she was comfortably sure she had made a pass at least further considerations troubled jane not at all she had no soaring ambitions and consequently was not affected with the unrest attendant thereon for we pay a price for everything we get or take in this world and although ambitions are well worth having they are not to be cheaply won but exact their dues of work and self-denial anxiety and discouragement an was pale and quiet in 10 more minutes she would know who had won the medal and who the Avery beyond those 10 minutes there did not seem just then to be anything worth being called time of course you'll win one of them anyhow said jane who couldn't understand how the faculty could be so unfair as to order it otherwise i have no hope of the Avery said an everybody says emily clay will win it and i'm not going to march up to that bulletin board and look at it before everybody i haven't the moral courage i'm going straight to the girl's dressing room you must read the announcements and then come and tell me jane and i implore you in the name of our old friendship to do it as quickly as possible if i have failed just say so without trying to break it gently and whatever you do don't sympathize with me promise me this jane jane promised solemnly but as it happened there was no necessity for such a promise when they went up the entrance steps of queens they found the hall full of boys who were carrying gilbert blithe around on their shoulders and yelling at the tops of their voices hurrah for body medalist for a moment anne felt one sickening pang of defeat and disappointment so she had failed and gilbert had won well matthew would be sorry he had been so sure she would win and then somebody called out three cheers to michelle when were the avery oh and gasped jane as they fled to the girl's dressing room amid hearty cheers oh and i'm so proud isn't it splendid and then the girls were around them and anne was the center of a laughing congratulating group her shoulders were thumped and her hands shaken vigorously she was pushed and pulled and hugged and among it all she managed to whisper to jane oh won't matthew and marilla