That's when I stood up for my family to correct everything. That's what we're doing today So it's time for these things now and like that so But my uncle that got killed in France World War I We see military records were 1921 they were he was put on a ship in Belgium and Brought back they docked in New Jersey He was put on a train and They returned him to Dupri, South Dakota where I live today with a blood family lives today That's how they returned my uncle in 1921 and After two years after this war When they returned all the soldiers The countries that were involved in World War I some of them protested in the United Nations They said why are these natives fighting for the United States when they're their own country? So in 1924 to get around this United States made a citizen act There's a citizen of this country in 1924 So my grandfather they said This is when they put our people under democracy and they said democracy Was a legal way to lie cheat and steal by majority rule why everybody has a right to vote today So under this system 51% over 49% They're gonna go at 51% no matter if it's right or wrong majority rules and Then my grandfather said this one they put our people under taxation This one were given a social security number We became a taxable item So you under demarcation taxation you could change your name a hundred times, but Your identity is your social security number that you carry your taxable item So this is where as truth Under demarcation taxation if you think you own land or whatever like this You don't try not paying your taxes for one year You'll come and foreclose you and give to somebody that will pay these taxes So as truth you don't own nothing under the system And that's what they put our people under in 1924 So 2024 we're just now gonna be an American citizen for a hundred years When my grandfather said we've been here before anybody came to this continent of these red nations So they said these red nations when they were here before anybody came here There was no jealousy There was no green There was no selfishness No judgmental criticism Superstitious of fear These seven English words never existed on this continent of these red nations These were brought here So my grandfather's they said When just the red nations were here, we called each other who who knew by in our language means two-legged in 1800 my grandfather said This two-legged became Macaulay child in our language means earth man. How my grandfather's look at a person It had no skin color It was a person that had a red heart for nature One is what was right good positive true sacred and This person when he or she stepped outside their home and Stepped on Unchimaka grandmother earth They stepped on her with respect They walked on her with respect because they knew She was a living thing that they're walking on Because all life grows on our grandmother including us So this is what Black red yellow white are forgetting how to walk on our grandmother Because our grandfather said they were all put on this earth with truth.  So I said I'll do the culture and eat politics, you know But 2001 when I told to stand up for my family My grandfather said this one time grandson We're gonna allow you to do politics So this one I stood up for my family to correct everything but This two-legged earth man 2001 they said when we got when I was told to do this Grants and remind them today truth honesty and trust is missing in this world So tell the world of these things that we're missing. So this is our 277th time. I'm gonna say this to the world That whenever you're truthful and honest with yourself when you don't lie to yourself Then you don't lie to the Creator or God or you don't like to people when you talk to them and When you walk like this That's when the trust comes back Sometimes trust has to be earned So this is what how Truth honesty and trust isn't come back into this world But like anything only each individual could do this Nobody could do it for you Only you could do this nobody could walk in your shoes only you can So my grandfather that says grandson When you was born you was born with two sets of eyes One that you see everything physical So I'll use our book as an example When you look at that you see a book But your other set of eyes is when you use your heart through your eyes, you know language. We call it today's talk Then you see the real truth So when you look at your heart through your eyes at our book For the real truth that came from a tree How paper was made That's the real truth So it's time to look at the real truth of things and like this but again only Each individual could do this nobody could do it for you And like this or it's up to each individual to make these changes that need to be done So this I me system they put us under demarcation taxation. I mean coming across this country that system Running to people and we seen it in the big cities Where a person could live beside another person For 20 30 years not even know that person's name their neighbor That's I me system When these red nations were heroes we and us we thought of others So to think of others this is where We need to think about grandmother earth which you Maca Time to stand up for her defender So these kind of things They're changes that need to happen only we could do this each individually Nobody to do it for us So it's time to be true for an honest with yourself Time to not lie to yourself Time to look at a person's heart not the color of their skin And like this time time for these things Time to heal our grandmother to walk on her with respect and all this There's a lot of people forget When they come out to home They're already looking way over the schedule all this stuff. So When 2007 I had a friend that Heard us talk up there at little big on battlefield His name was William Carrington and His grandfather was here 1866 1868 were the at Fort Field Kearney story Wyoming Which is between Buffalo and Sheridan well me and When when his grandfather's here was a commanding officer of that fort So we met him at little big one And you heard us talk about my grandfather's agency. So I said can I Only live our from Washington, DC. Can I go look for your grandfather's agency? I said go ahead. Go look Back to my younger brother's honesty if he's really serious in what he said Because people say things are not do it sure And yeah, he called back and he said I went to the Smithsonian. I went to the American Library of Congress I didn't find it there. I Knew that he was seriously looking down. So I'll go to a sector state office and he's a historian. So Because he did some research and stuff at the Smithsonian and they know him over there and These historians when they get that degree they're given a code When they research they have to be shown original copies of things they could look deeper than we can as citizens and And so I Told him where it was. So he he called back and that's what he said that I went to the Secretary of State office and I asked and Two security led me downstairs Let me down the hall and they opened this door to this room In this room, there's a table sitting sitting there with glass over the top of this table and Under this glass was Crazier's agency a document land description had a presidential seal on it Now remember what you said about that presidential seal Because under the federal government of federal law When the president puts a presidential seal on a document, that's an executive order and under their federal law a Presidential seal that's not broke. It's still law today So he said remember what he says I walked around this table and I inspected the seal Your grandfather's didn't lie That's you's not broke I said our grandfathers don't lie to us and This is where if you have faith and truth If somebody told you a truth, you don't have to go see you don't have to go touch it To make sure it's real if you're told the truth you have that faith in that this was So he called back and said, you know, I've seen it sitting over there While we're in this federal court case to two days determine the blooders of the Crazier's estate This is for my grandfather's agency that was promised to him So coming from a federal agency Shan River When his federal government made his federal agencies, it's called trust status land on these federal agencies and Trust status lands are non-taxable A non-Indian can't own it sell it to live on it or trade it Because I have some of this land on Shan River where I come from trust status lands Well, that's how we want my grandfather's agency 8.7 acres all and trust status lands And these are laws this government made when they put us on these federal agencies And they made these to make us lose our identity who we are These federal agencies it almost worked But now we're starting to stand up with truth now Time to stop lying to ourselves in matters Time to think of our ancestors before anybody came to this continent how they walked here and looked at life So these kind of things Is happening it's coming So 2001 I stood to send off my Lakota grandfather's my Dakota, Dakota grandfather's grandson Don't forget about us And that's what our territory came and our territory was a Dakota, Dakota and a warped nation's land basis and So Today if you have an old encyclopedia set you could look under president president ban Burin He was the 8th president. It's in your encyclopedia if you have an old one and On the first page it shows us our territory that I'm talking about So but it's half of South Dakota East half East half of North Dakota It's all of Minnesota West part of Wisconsin all of Iowa That's a Dakota and a Dakota and a warped nation's land basis So we had this checked out in 2008 and had some lawyers from Sioux Falls and Rapid City go check this out for us and Before they left we gave them two names and When they went to Washington up there for two weeks So our researching and like this they came back and they said we found a paper trail up there Everything you guys said was true One thing about this country whether they're right or wrong they document air So they tell on themselves So When we were up there, we told them we're told them these two names you gave us and And the government said where did you get these names these are classified names that you gave us So we had to tell them the truth. This isn't we you gave it to them in 1838 when you came and surveyed this Iowa territory One square mile like this So the names that we gave them were on this map that they made in 1838 of the Dakota Dakota and the warped nation's land basis That was a map maker and the surveyors at that time their names were on this map So they know that we've seen this map We know that this exists So I stood up for one of my decoders in the Dakota grandfathers But they said they couldn't follow it in the United States because that land base goes into Canada and involves Canada In the United States it becomes an international case to correct it So this international lawyer that's coming for of Kredge's family is going to follow this in the world court It's time for truth now like this So they must shine grandfather said don't forget about me Because maternal Side of my family because paternal Kredge was his grandson My maternal side of my mom's side I'm black buffalo's grandson Nikoju Lakota Morningstar dull knife cyan. I'm a grandson of him I'm also a grandson of War Eagle Dakota Nakota Me walked in what Pekete and I'm also a grandson of Paul Travis he killed for Brewer Frenchman. I was that French grandfather's That's my identity who I am So this word when you Deny a bloodline that's in you. You're denying a grandfather or grandmother. They're forgetting about them It's time to really look at yourself and be truthful and honest with yourself like this So my shine grandfather said their nation is The Platte River in Nebraska and Wyoming Inside the Rock is all the way down to the Santa Fe Trail That's a shine nation My grandfather Morningstar don't I said my father shall I just buried west of today at Fort Collins he left in 1908 so he had a probate and like this a death certificate but He said that's where that's the sand and sister bear guns of their nation Before anybody came to this continent just like the black hills is for us for our nation so Today the Crazier family What my grandfather is doing when he was here preserving protecting the black hills We're also gonna do that too using their laws that they made against For these agencies they put us on Time for truth now like this So they said I'll say I hope my French grandfather's don't let me to go claim France But When we went to Norway last summer There's a book in Norwegian. We did some talks and like there's signings over there We did 11 of them. So Europe has heard this what I Told to tell the world But I told my friends. I said my first step I step on to Europe. I'm planning a stop I'm claiming Europe for the great soonation Just what they did when they came here I'm gonna do the same when I go over. So they said you should livestream that but These kind of thing is time for truth now and like this and a lot of corrections. There's a lot of assumptions out there And like this or these kind of things were correcting for my my grandfathers and like that so but This book came out in 2016 So this where we always ask when we give these talks If you read it and you have any questions and also the blood family we have a page in Facebook called Tarsinka we go to why Slash crazy horse family You could go to that page after you read a book if you have any questions you could ask on there You'll be talking to me and Bill was administrators of that page. So we'll answer any questions Today, there's over 56,000 following our page worldwide So there's a lot of people that watch what we do But Our family in our language will be that hunk of means a big we thank you from the trailer family For coming and listening You guys all have a safe journey home and like this, you know, but now it's time for questions So if you have any questions, it's time for that. So thank you very much for listening to me My grandfather's cheek right here So might have to make 15 my rush more just to cover my grandfather's head Because they're carving a whole mountain, you know, so it's gonna take some time Yes 1948 we met with Corsac And he asked permission from the family to do this. Yes, and we gave him permission and So that's why their dream up there that they have when there's we're now will be in litigation for when this court case is done determine the blood heirs, but In our litigation, we know we're gonna have funds So we want Corsac and Ruth's dream to come true So we're gonna do a medical university up there that's gonna teach modern and traditional medicine And like our grandfather said a time and day in the future is coming when the sick of the world are gonna be sent there to get used So we're in in support of that So and also because my grandfather is really Thinks about the children, you know Because in 1889 90 when this country said killed a Indian and saved a man They took our children sent them to Pennsylvania, Oklahoma, Oregon like that and some of our children Are laying over there in a grave as unknown on the headstones But we Our nation had our way of living life our way of prayer we have a way to find out Their families and like this So when we're legal like this and we have the funds we're gonna return All the children today Like my grandfather, you know, that's his wish Yes Yeah No, no everything was stolen in 1966 That belong to it So we kind of know where it's at, but it'll be better when we're legal Then you have the law behind you To get these things that need to be but the main thing is we got this pipe back To correct everything and and the one that has it doesn't even know that that has it to have it It's in boxes in their basement So No That was her father that had that stuff when when her father passed they gave all that Father's stuff to her and she just put it in the basement without looking So a lot of stuff is still sitting there, but It's better to come and say we're the crazier family and we could prove it in federal court who we are Because of all the assumptions I've done before We're able to prove who we are so now it's time to Have the proof with the law behind you to get these things back and That belongs to my grandfather But do it legally Yeah Yeah Anymore questions, yes It doesn't when this country declared war on us in 1876 Under international laws when one country declared war on another country All agreements treaties made between these two countries become null and void in a court of law So when the United States declared war on us in 1876 All agreements and treaties made with our nation the Lakota nation. You can't use it in a court of law So that means that all the trees are no good for us Why they can't use them like this So this is all when the Dakota in the court of nations How we showed that In an agent his name was Ramsey That was having our people that the court in the court of Sign a paper and said if you sign this we'll give you Double rations and we'll give you a seed to plant and like this So they were all signing this paper When when in reality, they were giving their lands away Signing their lands away So when this is reported to Washington Washington came to investigate and they caught him in the act So they took him back to Washington They guided him found him guilty and relieved him of his duties because he was an agent where today This Indian agent is a superintendent that's sitting on these agencies under the BIA That's the Indian agent today, but When we're in Sioux Falls given a talk like this and In the audience was a federal judge that awarded this court case with our now brewing company back to the family He said I'm the federal judge that gave this back to you families after thank you very much and like this But after the questions, then I raised my hand. Everybody really looked at me because I was sitting up front with it I have a question for a federal judge When a federal official Is it breaks the law is indicted and found guilty All transaction by that government official become no other than void. You can't use it in a court of law He said that's the federal law So when Ramsey did this as an Indian agent People thought they signed their lands away. You can't use that in a court of law because he was found guilty So as truth these lands still belong to the Dakota and the corner nations And walk the nations has stirred lands But because it's an international case because it goes into Canada As we found in world court to correct that This will learn doing for my grandfather's these things that So there's one that Taught us these laws by living putting us under five laws That we live by every day Yes Yes, my grandfather said Oglala and Chicago were paper trials created by this government in 1886 and On Pine Ridge they tell them every year there they have a radio station here called K. I. L. I and Every year they tell them September 20th 1886 Red Cloud was recognized as chief of the Oglala band When his family just recently did a Autobiography of red cloud word they tell in there that he's from the cut had been because that's what his father signed under the 1868 treaty when they made that And that's where he's from. He's from the cut had been So these seven nations of the Lakota Four of them was put on shine River Where I'm from And we called you the two cattle the black foot and the nobo's it does each other means nobo's and Then there's hung papa. There's cut head and there's flat head These are the seven bands of the Lakota so As Assumption this were a lot of assumptions started when my grandfather assassinated in 1877 Nine years later Red car to recognize as a as a chief of the Oglala man So how could my grandfather be in Oglala when they didn't even exist when he got assassinated? So that's a lot of assumptions out there and Fd's using these six documents that they left Beyond before 1886 Because after the battle a little big one there were six bands of Lakota The decoder the nutcoder the shine and a rap hole were all put on red cloud agency So how could these ten groups become something that they're not in 1886? That's not the true identity So this is where when somebody says they're from From a burn tie or from Oglala She's trying to go Oglala. They're only looking back to 1886. They're not looking beyond that When our nation have been here before anybody came through this continent of these red nations So it's time to look at your ancestors So when bill wasn't doing genealogy, you're gonna find out you're not from from here You all came from Europe So when I was in Europe when I talked to the battle a little big one over there. They said the Americans did that So I had to tell them the truth all the Americans came from Europe as truth So if you do your genealogy, that's what you're gonna find unless you're of these from one of these red nations Obama said it too And I told the truth There's time to look at these things The real truth with your heart And then don't lie to yourself Yes Some of his followers went When my grandfather came on the scene, let's go over here. They all went Let's go do this. They all went So when the government seen that the people are following him Well, we're gonna deal with him for his people. So we'll give him this agency and like this So that agency was put into Washington in 1874 by his uncle Lonehorn So when they asked him that we'll promise an agency I said, I want my uncle's agency that you put in Washington in 1874. That was put up there But there's a modification, but there's only the blood that we know these things So, you know, it's time for truth now and time to really seek it Because under this system, that's why I didn't want to do politics But but they taught me to do these things Yes Whenever this court case is done and federal law says you got the blood family after follow protocol after me with the South Dakota senators and representatives and they're the ones that have to Introduce us to Congress because that's how these states Get hurt. I have to follow that protocol because we're under the system Yeah, and that's and and that's that's to get his agency that was promised to him and and under This church status lands they have to move everybody out of there because there's 119 families that are entitled to that agency So we're doing what my grandfather is doing. He's still preserved and protecting the Black Hills, which is our cemetery They were protecting our people So is it but it's a wake-up call because that's not our nation It's the headwaters of Missouri to the headwaters of the North Platte That's our nation So all these red nations I Referred to them as nations because under United under the United Nations What they recognize as a country you have to have a land base You have to have culture tradition and language these four things you gotta have So all the red nations that are here have them Why I refer to them as red nations? They could be recognized under the United Nations as a country Time to think of our ancestors You know like this Yes That's that's the system they put us under you know, so we just have to follow protocol And like that, you know, but if you stand up for your nation your grandfather is who you are your identity You're a nation So what you do for your nation is is what's the right good part of truth and sacred But only you could do that for your nation and Just like my grandfather when he was here by example. He did these things Now you have a way to do these things To stand up for your people All the you know across the country coming met lot of red nations that aren't recognized under the federal government Because the federal government recognizes by blood But yet they said but they're recognized under the state But they're not showing proof of blood to the government to be recognized as a federal agency But but yet yet they're still Remembering there where they come from Yeah, yeah, but us we got we got Yeah, us we got put on these agencies because we can show our proof of blood who we are That's why this government recognizes Enrollments and allotments from these federal agencies as proof of your identity who you are because you could show by blood your your your identity and Like this, so that's why they recognize Yeah, yeah So this is what when we showed our proof Because of these families these bands these nations that have been assuming my family and grandfather So under the federal law when you determine the blood heirs It's time to show proof what you've been how you're connected by blood to a grandfather like this And they can't contest it if you show your proof like this So sometimes they talk about DNA DNA When the Smithsonian gave sitting booze hair back bill was worked with sitting booze grandson, too and They went to Copenhagen Denmark and they did a DNA on his hair because they got it back from the Smithsonian and when he did the DNA then they checked his grandson DNA and It was the same that was his grandfather's hair But this person said that DNA or he did a DNA of this world and The Asian African and Caucasian DNA all came from Europe and The red nations DNA was unique Because their DNA you can't find anywhere in this world, but what are at today? But the exception of I think the Apache and the Hopi have Some Asian DNA and their DNA So they're the ones that came across the barren straight and came down like this How wide those Asian DNA's and those two red nations DNA But the other red nations that have been here have always been here Yeah, so when my grandfather said grandson, we walked with the dinosaurs We did we walked with the dinosaurs. They didn't lie to me You know so, you know why in our language we have a word for dinosaurs Yeah, so You know our grandfather's don't lie to us when it comes to stuff like this But yeah, I mean every nation has to stand up and do it for their nation and like this Nobody could do it for you Like this or you can Just like what we're doing with my grandfather. We started out standing up from our family now our nation nations and like that Of my grandfather's and then Yeah, yeah So yeah, I mean In our in our culture We don't have greats in front of a grandfather or grandson That's European When they use greats, that's not our way You either grandfather or grandson? And like this so So when we put these broad trees together on a paternal side, there's nine generations. I'm forced my dad was third So if I use that way, I'm three great-grandfather to that ninth generation So my grandchildren are already great-grandfather to that ninth generation, you know, they're just born their day old If we use that system But that's not our way Yeah, I mean and then us we have a kid name and we have our adult name Siblings brothers and sisters all have a different name European they'll just use one name for hundreds of years centuries. They'll use one name us Everybody has a different name.  That's my name Yes, yes, we do My grandfather said a time and day in the future will come when the world know we're not right now because if we say it right now, they'll be over there bothering my grandfather and because They won't have faith in truth. They're gonna have to go see touch it and make sure Have to do a DNA and all this Anymore questions, yes It's received good, but the ones that are having a hard time is Pine Ridge and Rosebud Pine Ridge and Rosebud having a hard time with it because There's ones I've made the 500 books movies that are amazing and that's not the truth Why a truth we can say those are all assumptions Because y'all say my grandfather's old Glawlin when that started in 1886 He died in 1877 nine years before that started So that's where assumptions started That's not the truth But nobody said anything until 2001 now we could say this. Yeah, that's not Why we're doing this Yeah, I mean on Pine Ridge They invited me and Bill to the crazier school So we talked to the children there and they honored us and gave us Same saying honor song gave us blankets and all the children came and shook our hands You know, so, you know, I mean It's the ones I've been assuming for so long that they don't want to change That's who search so when when I was young and My father said What your grandfather put on that rock Or the ones that killed him or claiming him today. So that's those two agencies that has a hand in his death, but they're claiming him and that's why they're having a hard time So, I mean what was that four days ago? We were in the Mohawk Nation and That woman came and how come you're doing this now and like this I said we're correcting the truth You know the assumptions were truth. I said there's 500 books written movies that are made This is just one book that we're making correcting all of this You know, and we were told to take of Was that a vow of silence I Said you guys didn't because it's 500 books written in movies that are made, you know about my grandfather claiming my grandfather Now a grandson is saying those are all assumptions not truth you know and You worry about just one book that we wrote from the blood family You guys wrote 500 and movies made movies and everything come on now, you know But I think she sent a promoter book that she's writing or something but But you know when it's time for truth now And just like Bill says, you know When when these things are written and if you don't have somebody know that knows English That person that's writing is looking through the eyes of a American American lens. They're looking at writing stuff That's why he had to know the culture and a spiritual side of our people before he could put anything down None of these guys did that I wrote these books and Then over here in the East Coast nobody that goes to the mid Midwest When they read something, this is true because it's written down and they believe it When it isn't the truth Yeah, you know, so I mean There's stories we met with what in Wyoming do the ones that said we're the ones that put everybody off track Because of what we wrote. We didn't know of people but we wrote about a people that we didn't even know So when we gave a talk over there, they couldn't believe that we could stand up and just talk like this Then they have to have papers and all this and like this and they couldn't just talk from their heart to truth Yes They were scared that at some point there might not be enough history to be able to maintain it Do you feel that the Great Spirit has protected things well enough that this culture is going to be able to continue and reestablish? Yep, it's a wake-up call for the red nations It's time to like I said, it's time to look at your ancestors before anybody came to this continent because you as a nation It's time to look to that nation And they all had ways of prayer each nation and They all had a way to talk to the Creator God And this what they forgot about It was time to go back to your ancestors They were doing it right do it like your ancestors Time to be truthful and honest with yourself like this I Mean that's because he was doubting so my grandfather showed himself and and then then he put it together that he okay Because because I see the belief touch it to make sure it's real That's a system that's here. Yes at Fort Robinson, but at the time it was Camp Robinson after his death it became Fort Robinson so our nation the Lakota nation around our nation, there's a five mile strip that his government took and Why all the forts are made on this strip Why all the capitals are on this strip telling the Bismarck pure Lincoln Cheyenne are all on this trip outside of our Lakota nation So when the Lakota Dakota and the Dakota stand up together We're known as the great soon nation and Seven countries know of our nation before United States Because we already dealt with seven countries before United States became the United States So they know of our nation so Time for truth and with this and stuff. Yes Yeah Yeah Yeah, a lot of assumptions You know what got Connie where I come from Z by Connie on Shan River One year will be the poorest county in this nation The next year will be Shannon County were pine ridges and Will be the second poorest county nation and Whenever we're the poorest in Shannon County the second poorest in the nation They've been switching back and forth, but nobody's telling them And I live in Dupri and and then and then down there to Yeah, and down there to where we're while we're in hiding in the 30s some of the in-laws heard our stories They took it back to Pine Ridge and told these stories and put themselves in it because nobody from family could say nothing So the slim boots that our family in that book is Northwest part of South Dakota It's 20 miles north and south 10 miles east and west That's the stronghold that my our family were talking about They took it back down there and they said the the battle ends as a stronghold When that is up there where the family was But on Pine Ridge There's a little hill they call it slim beads and like it from our family stories. There's a sheep mountain that's up there in the northwest part of and Then before were pine ridges red car. He was down there by Fort Robinson His agency before that he was by Fort Lermey Were pioneers that was spot-to-tell agency But when they made game my grandfather's age agency They moved red car to a spot. They were they moved him east and the government said these two Don't they could kill each other by each other like this Why did they put them like that together? but these are stuff that They're not telling All the truth from Ron's herself when you speak of the truth and make sure it's the truth that you're talking That way you're not lying to yourself when you speak the truth and When they took our children the Crazer's family hid the children Why we still know our culture language traditions and like this but Sometimes I learned to ask From what this government did to my family Being hunted and all this and this is where I have to tell them the truth That as truth a second ago is already in the past you can't turn time back nobody can But the change that needs to be made is now and the future Well, we could make a just change and that's where this change has to come Because everything in the past is already done can't change it already happened in all this So right now today and tomorrow is where you look To make these changes so it doesn't happen again And like that, you know, so that's all I said y'all have to be true for an honest so sometimes around could be 20 30 benchful and like this but After tell the truth that here that already happened. I Can't turn time back if I can I'll save my family and like this but I can't it already happened It's just like what you just said a second ago is already in the past You can't take it, you know like this, but now in the future is where we have to concentrate be made So it's time for these things now like this So I mean I don't because how my grandfather look at a person At the heart not the color of the skin and like this And that's why my grandfather always feels about children Why we want to even though it already happened, but for their lane We want them to come home to the family And We have a way of prayer that we could find these out and do this Make a correction at least for those families for our people And like this, but You know each each nation has a way of making a prayer to the Creator Your ancestors have talked to God And that's why I say look at your ancestors because that's how you have to walk to Talk with the Creator and God But again only each individual could do this nobody could do it for you and like this You know so it's time to Walk with respect on a grandmother I'll always be truthful and honest so make this So these kind of things I mean, you know You know the children and like this or what you're saying, you know When everybody feels bad, but it already happened you can't turn the time back Now we are today and tomorrow Make sure it doesn't happen and always be truthful and honest Time to in our language. Okie chapo means help each other It's time to do that. Look at skin color. Look at your heart Like this If I get only each individual could do this so Why I said everything comes to nobody could walk in your shoes, but you And like this But you know it's time for these things Make that


What's going on everyone? Rafe DeRozzi here. Thank you so much for tuning in. Today, I will be talking about what my symptoms were when I had HIV AIDS. Now as I've said in the past, I don't know exactly when I contracted HIV. All I know is that I was diagnosed on my birthday May 8th of 2012, which is six years ago this year. So what I can tell you is that the I would say about a year to two years prior, I slowly started developing more and more symptoms and those symptoms started becoming more severe. I would say the first symptom that I really started experiencing and noticed was a general sense of lethargy. I just noticed that my energy overall throughout the day was declining. I didn't really feel like myself.  I had a hard time getting through work. I was serving at a restaurant and I just found myself having to drink more coffee or Red Bull or lots of green teas throughout the day and it just kept, I kept needing more and it was, it wasn't the same as having like a caffeine tolerance. I've had that before and I just noticed that over time like nothing was really working and I just kind of felt a little more dull. My energy, my zest for life was kind of dimming and I felt a little bit more like a zombie in it and I wasn't quite sure what that was. I was going to the, to the gym and I started working out because I thought maybe if I'm exercising just trying to be more fit overall that that'll help my energy levels. So I started doing basic exercises at the gym. I had no idea how to do, how to bench press. I had no idea how to squat. I had no idea how to deadlift. So to say that I was you know really intensely, actively working out is probably like missing the mark a little bit because I was definitely a beginner at that point. I was only using machines. Maybe some light dumbbells for like curls or something like that and then I would do a little bit on the elliptical but nothing really that crazy. So, but I did notice however that even going to the gym and trying to pack on muscle and taking protein that I was actually losing, losing, I felt like I was losing muscle mass. I didn't feel like I was really gaining anything. Which is kind of weird to me. I also was losing weight, but I attributed that to going to the gym and working out and trying to eat somewhat healthy here and there wasn't, I mean it wasn't that great, but I was making some attempt. But looking back I would say that I can probably attribute some muscle loss and some body mass loss specifically to the fact that I had HIV, AIDS and didn't know it and that's why I wasn't able to gain. Also, the next symptom that I noticed was vertigo. This isn't something that I really have experienced that much in my life. Occasionally here and there if you know if I hadn't been eating, maybe I was low on blood sugar or tired or something like that, but it is usually random and few and far in between. But I was pretty regularly, I would say maybe three, four times a week. I would, whether I was sitting, standing, moving around, it didn't really matter. I would suddenly get hit with a wave of vertigo. Everything would start spinning and I'd lose my balance, dizzy, and that would last for maybe 10-15 minutes, had no idea why. The next general symptom that I noticed was body aches all over. My joints, my muscles, just every part of my body. I attributed that of course since I was going to the gym to working out, being sore from working out and exercising, but in reality I would be sore in places that I hadn't worked out. But you know when you're, when you have no idea what to expect and HIV is the last thing on your mind, you rationalize things and you kind of just give explanations of what is the most likely possibility and then if things don't get worse, it's just, it is what it is and you move on. So after that I would say probably about a year out from my diagnosis, I started to notice that I was getting itchy, inflamed bumps on my elbows and on my knees. If I put it under hot water, it would exacerbate it and it would get more red and way more itchy. Now with this, when I was a teenager, I had gotten scabies at one point from sleeping in my friend's bed and they got it and ended up going throughout the whole house. But anyway, during that time when I had scabies, I knew that that feeling was in the same places in my body and it was very itchy and I would get red and stuff like that. So I assumed that I was getting some sort of, that since ever since then I just had sensitivity in those areas and that was just like a some kind of skin rash that I was just gonna have to deal with as a result of having gone through that earlier in life and again rationalize it.  So this is probably just something that I got to deal with. Now keep in mind at the same time while I'm going through all this, I don't have health insurance. I didn't have access to health insurance, so some of you are probably thinking, well, why don't you just go to the doctor and have a doctor look at this stuff as it's happening and then maybe the doctor would be able to put the pieces together and say maybe there's something bigger going on here, but at the time I didn't have access. I was making very little money. A short time after having the symptom on my elbows and knees, I started to get a different kind of rash, but this time it was along the outsides of my hands, along the outsides of my fingers, just along the outside of my palm as well, and along the same area, but on my feet. It was these red, started out as like a red orange-ish bump and as it progressed it would it would fill with like a clear opaque liquid and so it would be bubbly and I'd have just tons and tons of bubbles all over really gross, really unsightly, for the most part didn't bother me a little bit itchy, a little bit tender, sensitive, but just for the most part unsightly and just just it was not, I mean, it's not something that you want to see on your hands or your feet and I tried at some point popping them with a needle to see if flushing out the fluid would help, didn't help. They would last for maybe a week, a week and a half to two weeks, and then it would just subside, but usually by then I'd get another flare-up and it would just be a cycle like that over, these flare-ups on my hands and my feet. Now at this point, this is when I started to get very suspicious and think something is very wrong here. Some of you, again, despite not having a doctor and not having health insurance, might think well, why isn't this guy considering the possibility that it's HIV? So, a little backstory.  I was at UCLA, they had a on-campus doctor that I could go see, and so I just got tested. I kind of had a scare, I had unprotected sex, and I just wanted to go and make sure that I was okay, and that I didn't have to worry about anything, ease my mind, and sure enough, test results came back negative. So, and this is just before entering into a long term, what I thought was a monogamous relationship, and believed I was negative, didn't have any STDs, so I didn't have any reason to believe that I would have HIV. That's why I didn't really cross my mind. That's why I didn't assume that maybe that was a possibility. So at this point, I began to notice weird bumps on my body. Lumps, I should say. I noticed that under here, under my jawline and my chin, there were two big round mounds there, and they felt larger than I thought I remembered, but again with the rationalizing, I'm just like thinking maybe I'm just thinking that they're bigger, but they're not really, and maybe I just never noticed it before. I was getting sick, I would say, once every month to two months, so I assumed that if there were my lymph nodes, then they're probably just been fighting off colds, and that's normal, and it'll, you know, it'll go away eventually, and then I started to notice that I had some soreness in my armpits, and I would feel there, and there was like tender spots, and I thought, I believe that there are lymph nodes there as well. That's interesting. Maybe my body's just having a hard time. Okay, well, it is what it is, and then I noticed too that we're, that I could feel on the base of my neck, on the back, that one on each side. I could feel the lymph nodes, and again, I just thought maybe they've always been there, and maybe I just never noticed it. Just never really paid attention to stuff like that, and now I'm being like hyper aware, so now I'm paranoid, and then the really weird one that really stood out, and I was like, whoa, okay. This is crazy. Behind my ears, there are apparently some lymph nodes right there, because do you remember those like 90s snacks?  Literally, my lymph nodes back here were so swollen that it felt like bugle sticking out. It came out like a cone, and they were huge. I don't know. I didn't know what to think of it. I thought it was bizarre and strange, but I wasn't necessarily feeling sick. I didn't feel horrible. I didn't have to go to the emergency room. There was nothing pressing, so I just kind of let it slide for a while.  You should have gone to the doctor immediately, but at the time, I just didn't really think much of it. Except it was weird. It was a little concerning, but what am I gonna do? And then the very last symptom that finally drove me to go to a doctor was a sore that I kept getting in the back of my throat, and my tonsils being, I believe it was my tonsils being inflamed. I thought that I had strep throat in the back of my throat. I thought that's what it was, because it was sore, and it wasn't really healing, and I was getting like other symptoms, like flu-like symptoms, and feeling achy, and sick. So it would, I would get it, and it would last for maybe two weeks, and then it would go away. And I think, okay, great. It resolved itself, didn't need antibiotics. Thank God. And then a few weeks later, it would come back again. And I'd be like, damn. Like, here it is again. I gotta go through this all over again. It would last another week or two. And then this time, it wouldn't go away. It was like three weeks, and I'm saying, I still have it. It still hurts, still sore. And so my boyfriend at the time, his dad had access to medicine, and he's like, let me hit him up in another state, and send over a prescription for you to take antibiotics. So I take antibiotics. It works. Boom. Gone. Great. Awesome. I can move on with my life. Nope. Couple weeks later, it comes right back. So I think this happened for maybe three, four times, and then I was like, okay, whoa. It's been two, three months of this. It's not going away. I need to go to a doctor. I need to find out how to go to a doctor, and that's when I started really scouring the internet, googling how do I get into a doctor's office, a hospital, whatever. I found some obscure random program here in LA that would give me really basic health insurance for free. It was so obscure when I went in to go apply for it, the lady looked at me and she was like, how did you even know about this program? And I was like, oh, I found it on the internet, and she's like, okay, totally weird, I guess. It's probably something that people only have access to through caseworkers normally, but I found it in some tiny little site. I don't know if it was through a forum or what, but thank God I did, because I went in and the doctor immediately was like, let's do a swab of your back area throat. Make sure it's not, you know, some sort of STD. I came back a week later. That's when I found out I had HIV. I came back a week after that on my birthday, and that's when I found out I had AIDS. So those were my symptoms when I had HIV AIDS. If you enjoyed or got something out of this video, please like below, subscribe if you haven't already, and if you think someone else might benefit from this, go ahead and share. Also go ahead and check out my previous vlog. It's about my most recent HIV doctor's visit, so you can see what my whole experience is like from showing up to the doctor's office, what we talk about, what we go through, getting blood drawn and all that stuff, and kind of lift the veil on that whole experience. Check it out. It's my most recent vlog. I'll have it here for you. Thank you guys for watching, and stay tuned. I'll see you soon. Cheers.