All right, you guys, welcome back to Etheteric Atlanta. Of course, I'm joined with my girly tier Angie and Nicole. This is part two of our soul story and our reincarnation. I created a whole new playlist because I felt like usually I do different, you know, part one, part two's different weeks like that. But I wanted to go ahead and start part two this week because I think our part one was so powerful. What do you guys think?  I had a lot of good feedback. A lot of, and a lot of people that were really, really resonating with those messages that came in, did Telegram for support, you know, and they, the overwhelming message was, you know, I finally found my people, you know, like this is what I've been going through and nobody around me is either receptive of having even a conversation about it or I say it and they look at me like I have five heads, you know, it's just that, this is the same thing that we all deal with, you know, where we awaken and we realize our true from our soul and no one can tell you it's not true. Like you know, when your soul recognizes true, you know it, it is not wavering, but it certainly helps when you have like-hearted people to say, you know, like I felt this or I saw this or I had a vision of this. It was, it looked like a dream, but it was so real and you can have other people, they have similar instances and so immediately you have cohesion. Immediately you feel like you're part of something bigger than just yourself and that in itself is so motivating to people because we're just done being shoved to the side, we're done being discounted, we're done with people saying that's just woo woo, it's not, it's truth. Yes, and it was received really, really well and I'm looking forward to helping more people find their truth. Absolutely, well we left off on part one and again, if you missed part one, I will put that in the description box below so you can, you don't necessarily have to watch it first, but I would suggest watching it first because we start to introduce some of these ideas and we're gonna focus today on the crisis point and we talked a lot about walk-ins last week and so again, I don't wanna rehash all that so if you missed that, go and re-watch that so you understand what we're talking about and I told you guys that I would start with my crisis, what happened to me when I was a teenager and that's around the time that Magdalen started, I started to hear Magdalen and I said last week that I started, when I was born, my heart stopped in the loom so that could have been considered one as well but I don't have any recollection of before that but I do have recollection of before this incident that happened to me. Now I've always been able to see spirits, I've always been the weird kid, I've always been very sensitive to the other side, I think we're in a club here, I think that's, everyone's like, oh same these, same these, me too, you know. So we all have the same freak flag, we all wave. Yeah, yeah, so, you know, and I was always very sensitive at child and again, I don't know if that was because my heart had stopped and I'd, you know, before I came into this world, I don't know if that's because I'm RH negative, I don't know if it's just something I was destined to be able to see, I don't know, maybe it's a combination of all of those, maybe it's the perfect storm. But I went to, so I grew up in a very, kind of hoity-toity society, very old money as they would say down here in South, old, old money, big family names, my first name, Bryce, is my mother's maiden name, that's a big thing to do. The Bryce's of South Carolina, it's a big family in South Carolina, my mom's family, they're all doctors. University of South Carolina, the Williams-Bryce Stadium, that's my family that built that stadium, the medical school, we laugh, my cousins and I laugh that there are portraits of our relatives all over hospitals, we don't even know, half the time that that's our great uncle, you know, so that's kind of the family I grew up in, so I'm many generations of private schools, and I was in a very hoity-toity private school, and so I was expected, I was being conditioned and groomed basically to put a big word, to go to university, I did not know that university was a choice, I thought that you by law had to go to university, I just didn't realize that was the law of my parents' house, not government law. It's, that's kind of the trajectory that I was being pushed in, I, you know, in a society that I grew up in, women are expected to get an education, but are not expected to use it.   But that's kind of where I was, I had a lot of anxiety as a child, there was a lot, I was around a lot of narcissism. I was around a lot of stressed out kids, now looking back at my friends I grew up with, especially for the boys that I grew up with, like I might have a lot of empathy for them, that they had far more pressure on their shoulders at a very young age than I did to carry on that family legacy. And so I was looking, I had considered going to, I had a college advisor from the time you entered high school, you had college advisors, and they were pushing me towards different subjects that I excelled in, like going to law school at one point, that was preparing me for law school, although I would have never used that degree again. Or I was, my grandmother was a very gifted pianist, as was I, and I won a lot of competitions as a kid, and Juilliard was mentioned. My grandmother actually put a stop to that though, because she said it would stress me out too much, which she was right, my cool grandma, the one that lived, believed reincarnation, she was the one that was like, that's a little stressed, because she was a pianist. So anyway, that's kind of where everything was headed for me. And I'll never forget, I was sitting in my chemistry class, my sophomore year of high school, so I was, you know, for those who are not in the United States, I was 15 going on 16, that's the age. I never, I'll always remember, I was sitting right behind John Perry. I remember what he had on, I remember what I had on, I remember what the teacher was teaching, and all of a sudden, my vision kind of went wonky. And it was all of a sudden, like I was in a fishbowl. Like nothing was clear, like everyone started to kind of get hazy. And I'm 15, so I'm like, whatever. So I keep going about my day. The next day I woke up, still feeling a little bit weird. And that afternoon, I was not, we had assigned after school activities, we couldn't leave the campus until like five o' 30 in the afternoon. But my mother was picking me up early, first I can't remember why. So I went to the dean's office and signed out and I was waiting for my mom. And my mom was looking at me, she goes, you don't look like you feel well. And I said, I don't, but I didn't have a fever. There was no signs of anything. Well, I started to lose a lot of energy. And at that time I was a cross country runner. And so my, my parents were concerned, they didn't know what was going on. Cause again, I wasn't showing signs of any type of sickness. I was just very weak. And so they made, they talked with my cross country coach and I wasn't going to run anymore, but I was going to go and watch the meets and like go and support the team. And so he had gone to Westminster, which is a school here in Atlanta that we were big competitors with. And I remember watching my friends running this cross country meet and not being able to stand up, just like having to sit down in the grass. And I remember watching bugs crawling all over my legs. Cause it's the fall in Georgia and it's hot as hell and they're bugs and not even caring that these bugs were calling over my legs. So I get back to school. My mom picks me up and my mom's very concerned at this point that something's not right. And so she says to me, I'm going to have you sleep in tomorrow. We're going to have you do a half day. I'll call your school. And so I slept in. My mother was not there at the time when I woke up. My dad was there though. And I went to take a shower and there was a lump, a huge lump under my armpit, like a golf ball. Now at 15, I thought I had breast cancer cause I didn't know what that was. So I begged my dad, I went and tell my dad but I was like, dad, you need to take me to mom. My mother was at my sister's school at that time doing something with the parents. And I pulled my mom and I showed her this like lump, like huge lump in my armpit. And my mother recognized it as a lymph node that something was inflamed in my lymph nodes. And so she said, right, okay, we're going to go to the doctor now. So I went to the pediatrician. They immediately sent me to an infectious disease doctor because that's where they check for things like mono at that point, not the mono test came back negative. Everything came back negative. Well, the swelling got so big that I couldn't put my arm down. And so my dean of students who is still a good friend of my parents and follows me on Instagram through this day told my mom that I needed to stay home because if I can't get my arm down, that's going to be pretty painful. And so I stay home for a couple of days. Well, then the next armpit, a lymph node swelled up. So I'm like this, they're not going down. I keep going, my mom keeps taking me back to the doctor. They're getting concerned because if the lymph nodes aren't going to go down they might have to surgically come in and actually fix it. Then I get them in my groin. Then I start getting all these lymph nodes, inflammation all over my body. Everywhere there's a lymph node, it was swollen. They are sending me at this point to almost every doctor you can think of, every specialist you can think of to try to figure out what is going on. Every test they're running is coming up negative. No mono, they tested me for everything. And I'll get deeper into that in a little bit. At the same time, my parents, because they didn't know what was going on with me but I was, the doctors were very concerned. I was getting very sick. I was losing a bunch of weight at the same time. My temperature, my resting temperature is around 96. As an RH negative, that's normal. I dropped to 92. So doctors were very concerned. There was many times where I was actually rushed to the emergency room for observation because my body temperature was dropping low. But they could not figure out what the hell was going on with me. And so they worked out with my school where the school, thank God, I wasn't a private school situation because they could send the work to the hospital or to my house and I didn't necessarily, and I could be counted as being there, as being in attendance without action. So I was doing, which taught me a lot because I got all my schoolwork done in like one hour. Even since that shows you how much dead time they have at school, right? And so anyway, I kept getting sicker and sicker and sicker. And I remember like seeing the look on my parents face that they were petrified. They didn't know what was happening to me and no one could figure it out. I just looked like I was dying. I ended up having spinal taps to test for meningitis. I was tested for all sorts of cancers. I was tested for diabetes. Everything you can think of, they were just pulling to see what was going on and everything came back negative. It was always negative, which I'm grateful it was negative. And then the most wild thing happened. I started waking up with scratch marks all over my body. My mom called them rashes and she would take me to the doctor and be like, what are these rashes that are appearing all over her? This is a new symptom. What is this? And the doctor at first was like, I think she's scratching herself.  So my mom and my dad started staying up all night watching me sleep, monitoring me to see if I was gonna, I wasn't scratching myself. Around this time as well, I started to lose feeling in my arms and my legs. I would wake up screaming in the middle of the night. My parents would have to come into the room and literally punch my arms and my legs to get feeling back into them. Like I was being pinned down and drained. And then my mother took me back to the doctor and she was like, she's not scratching herself. These are some crazy rashes. She's losing feeling in her arms and legs. What is happening to my child? And the doctor looked into my eyes and the minute he looked into my eyes, he saw that there were also scratch marks in my eyes that he knew I could not have done myself. And I remember he said, I have no idea what's happening. No idea. So over time, I eventually just got better. I just got better over time, but I was changed after that. At that point, I started to see spirits even more clearly. I started to hear things, clear audio, hear things. I started to have psychic knowledge. I would freak my friends out because this was back in the day before there was like caller ID. And I would know, I'd be at my friend's house and I'd say, oh, I would know exactly who was calling us, the phone was ringing. I would freak my friends out. I started to smell things that weren't there. So like once, one, I started to smell a cigar at one point and I was looking around and someone was like, oh my God, my granddad smoked cigars, but he died a while ago. I was like, well, I'm smelling it. So anyway, that changed my perspective of life in a very subtle way. And I ended up going to school in the UK and ended up living in Los Angeles for a while. And around this time, I started to find yoga. And I started, that's when I started reading books on reincarnation, all that kind of stuff.  Like you just wanna go on dates and like be normal, right? But I started going to more tarot card readings and like doing spiritual healing and then every single time I'd went, they would say, holy shit, you went through a shamanistic leveling up basically. What happened to you when you were a kid, when you were a teenager, and they always come up in these readings. And I didn't wanna talk about it, especially if I was there with a friend, I just did not wanna talk. I was like, oh yeah, I was just sick as a high school student, you know. They're like, no, you weren't sick. That's not what this was. This was like a leveling up. This was like, and it was, for me it was a crisis, because it was taking me off the path. It literally took me off the path and put me, and that is part of why I ended up in India for so long. Why I'm on YouTube talking about these things. And that is when I, again, I started hearing Magdalene. And at that point, like I said, before that happened, I would see spirits here, spirits. But after that happened is when I started to get physically sometimes assaulted by the bad ones, which I've showed pictures before of the bruising and the scratching and all that kind of stuff. And so, that kind of was my crisis point, where I physically, my body, something happened with my soul, because my body temperature dropped to 92. I mean, Nicole's a nurse, she can maybe speak on that, but that was a panic further than that. When my body temperature started to drop, normally when someone's sick, what happens? It goes up. Mine was going down. It's one of two things, usually in a traditional illness, either the temperature spiked or it does drop. And when the temperature dropped, it's usually a sign that it's actually more severe. It's more chronic to have a lower temperature than a higher temperature. The higher temperature is usually in the earlier stages of whatever you're seeing. But yeah, are you finished with that? I don't mean to rush you. I just... Look, that was kind of my concern.  Keep going, go. It's definitely, it was definitely a soul event. And I want to just preface it. When I say a crisis event, that's my term. That's a necrolism. Like I've learned as I've gone through this journey, there's just certain things that's very hard to put 3D words on, because it's really, really hard to, it's hard to encompass what's actually happening. But there is such thing as a soul crisis and your physical form, as Bryce has said many times, now you have the Shiva and the Shakti. And so her soul was in a battle long before the symptoms started to show in her physical form. But in the physical, when people started to notice and she started having the symptoms, was whenever decisions were being made on a soul level for her. And first of all, she had a support team. She had people that were always there to help her. But as Universal Law and Celestial Law, you can have a support team and you can have a bunch of angels that are there waiting.  And then they're gonna intervene on your greatest good in a very minimal way, like the smallest way possible because you have free will. So a lot of times people go through things in life and they go, nobody ever helped me, if God's real and how come I was allowed to go through that? Well, first of all, we do have trials that we have to go through to learn certain lessons. But also on a conscious level, you have to be accepting of the assistance that's being offered to you. So Bryce just illustrated why. And I know, I grew up in the South, a lot of people that are in that type of environment, they walk the walk but they really don't have faith. They're the most empty vessels when it comes to true faith. When a crisis really happens, they look at each other and they go, what's gonna happen? Do you think so-and-so went to heaven? Because he did so, he did this and he did that. It's very, very non-spiritual, it's religious and they do all the things, but it's non-spiritual. They don't have that core belief where they know beyond a shadow of a doubt that that soul is ascending, is rising. And so her soul was going through the battle, it was going through it, it was feeling all the things but her conscious was slowly tapping in, right?  And so she did level up. I personally have had that happen too. And to me, it felt like I felt completely at peace with the fact that I wasn't gonna physically be on this planet anymore. And that acceptance, that lack of attachment to the things and the people and that knowing that there's something beyond this experiment as in an earthly experiment in itself gives you a leveling up on your soul because you are not in the heavy dense matrix that you're attached to. So Bryce went through that on the soul level for a long time and then it manifested in her physical form. And then because of the environment that she was in, she wasn't, besides her one grandmother, everyone else was really doing the religious walk. And I think that really does people with a service that really wanna tap into their spiritual life because of all the fear and all the misinformation around it. And they make it seem like you don't fit in if you believe that, you have to believe we believe. And so, again, when a walk-in occurs, it's usually a crisis event. And the characteristics that you'll see is that person comes through whatever it is and they have a wiser countenance, they have a spiritual knowing, they have esoteric knowledge, they have an unquenching thirst for these things and they're gonna go on these life journeys that prior to this event would have never presented themselves to them. It would have never been a part of their plan. But now they can't fathom their life without it. So for Bryce, it was going to India. No one in her family understood why she had to go to India but she knew in her soul that this is what she needed to do, right? I don't think I'm gonna begin at the time. No, and I think there's a deeper because even though that was awful as a teenager to go through, it's so complicated because, and Kim Tesla has spoken about this on her channel, the school that I went to is an Illuminati school. It is very expensive. It's one of the top 10 boarding schools in the nation. And I have my suspicions. I think in my opinion, there was definitely SRA happening at that school. I think I was a target and that event also saved my life. It put my life in crisis, but it saved my life too because it got me out and in the hospital and with my parents. Okay, I know there are people watching that don't know what SRA is. I don't know if you can say all the words. I can't say it, but I will have you guys. It's satanic practice. It's a, yeah. So we can't say all the words on YouTube, but... I had somebody ask the question on the last one. So that's why I'm putting that on. It is religious practices of the satanic kind. There you go. That involve mistreatment of a soul.  And I know that I have a specific blood lineage. I know that. And I think that DeSantis, Governor DeSantis was a teacher at my school at one point. Everybody loved him. And I've been told that there was a reason why he was there. I don't know, we'll see. And it wasn't, it was for good. It was to help with the situation. I have been told, it's still to this day when I drive through that campus, my stomach turns. Yeah. Like I don't, I am not a person of destruction, but if I had to pick one place in the whole world that I could burn down, it would be that school. I have a close friend here that went there and she's had all kinds of mental issues. I haven't talked to her in a while, but yeah. Abuse through that. I mean, when I look back at my, a lot of people look back at their high school experience and they think about like the mean kids, all that kind of stuff. That's not what kids I went to school with, we were surviving together. I have no bad memories of any of them. The teachers only, let me give you guys an example. So the day I had a spinal tap. So when I, around the time that I had the spinal tap done, I was going to one class a day. We had, at this point, we had worked it out to try to get me going. So I go to one class a day and I rotate them. My parents would have like weekly meetings with my teachers. So they were very involved. The school was trying to help me get through my work. I had tutors that would come to the house as well. And when I had my spinal tap done, they didn't tell me as a child, as a 15-year-old, they didn't tell me, which I understand that. That's a really scary thing to have to go through, although it really wasn't that bad. I look back, I'm like, I want that bad. And when they, at least in the 90s, when this was happening, what they do, you guys, is they, for those who don't know what that is, is they numb your back with lidocaine and they stick a very, like an epidural type needle into your spine and they pull spinal fluid out. And when they're looking in the fluid to see what's going on. And when you have the spinal tap done, at least back in the 90s, you had to lay down for a while after the procedure so that your body can reproduce and they were bringing me sprites. I thought, remember, they kept bringing me sprites and I had to like lay there. The procedure itself did not hurt at all because you were numb. Like the only thing I felt was the prick of the needle for the lidocaine. Well, because I was so young, and I think because I was a small 15 year old, a hundred pound kid, it took me a couple of days to really get full feeling back in my legs. And so the day after I had the spinal tap, my parents decided like, we're not gonna send her to school today. We're gonna let her just kind of relax and let her body, you know, I had been through a lot at this point. I'd been poked and prodded. And so the day after that, I went back to, I took both Spanish and French. And I went, my mother would drive to the school and she, for the class I was taking, I would go in and I would get there like five minutes early so I could set up before everyone rushed in so I wasn't pushed in the hallway or anything. And then after the bell would ring, the teacher would usually let me leave five minutes early so I could get to my mom's car before the rush of students as well because most of the teachers were very aware of the delicate situation that I was in health wise. And a few of the teachers that weren't psychopaths actually would get emotional when I would come to their class and they would sit and ask me if I was, because they had children themselves. And so I can look at looking back, my parents didn't know if I was going to live or die. They didn't know what they were dealing with or is their kid going to be diagnosed with leukemia? Like what's happening? And so I think some teachers did have that tapped into that and were very emotional about the fact that my life could possibly be at stake. Well, the Spanish teacher who now is in federal prison for being, for mistreating young ones, we'll say, I got, get to his class. I'm sitting in the desk, he's there at his desk and he waits for all the students to get in. And he says to me, he goes, you missed a Spanish test. You were supposed to be here yesterday for a Spanish test. And I said, oh, I'm sorry. I thought my parents called. I had a spinal tap. And so I couldn't come, I couldn't come.  Yeah. My daughter deals with that at her school to one of the top, top public school in the state of Georgia. Yeah. I got in the car. I told my mom, I got in the car.  I was like, he told me that the Spanish test was more important than my spinal tap. And my mom got so pissed. She called my dad, my dad marched on that school. They ripped me out of that class so fast. I think my dad probably said some things.  That's narcissism. That's narcissism. And that's what I was dealing with continually at that school. That school since has had a lot of lawsuits filed against them from kids that were older than me, a few years older than me that were assaulted. It was, it's a terrible school. And I will never. And I remember even as, even before I got sick, like as, as a kid thinking like, you know, most of these kids at this school are lineage. They're many generations. Like my dad went to the school, you know, like their business as a private school really depends on the experience the child has at the school and whether or not they'll send their kid there. Right.  My freshman year of high school, so the guy who wrote the book, Deliverance, which is the movie, they have a big movie, he went to that school. And at that time, like what my dad went there was an all-boy school. When I was a freshman in high school, somebody had found this letter that he wrote back to the alumni association. They photocopied it and put it all over the, the student lounge area. They had sent him a letter requesting money for the alumni association to donate to the school.  He had never experienced as much abuse as he did at this school. And don't ever contact him again. And somebody photocopied that through it all. So I know other students were having the same experiences and wanted to like wake other people up. Of course, if this was happening now, I think it would have gone out more publicly. But when I was a kid in the 90s, it was us just trying to survive together. Like basically look at this letter. We're not crazy. We're being abused. We're being, I mean, the amount, I can't even like going back through trauma therapy, of course, issues of my thought. I mean, it just compounded itself. And so this was a crisis moment for the trajectory of what I understood life to be. But in the same breath, it saved my life. Yeah. The thinking spirit allowed it to happen because it removed me from a possibly deadly situation. If that makes sense. And I remember like when I was at the sickest I was, I remember the house I grew up in, you know, the living room, the fancy living room and like the family room. And I remember laying on the sofa and like get a big screen TV back when big screens were like boxes. And I remember watching TV laying there. And I remember thinking this is so much better than being in school. Like being sick right now, not knowing if I have cancer or not is way better than being in school. Like that's sad. If your child is more comfortable not knowing if they have cancer than actually being in school, then there's a problem. Yeah. Well, and I'm sitting here thinking of it in probably a little bit more of a macro kind of way because I didn't experience what you experienced. But I'm putting all these pieces together, you know? And so from a top down mentality, they are, they, the institutional practices are none matter whether they're private, Catholic, public, whatever, they are doing their very, very best to break and fracture these little souls to push them into whatever direction they want them to go in. And only the ones that have that inner strength, that have that inner knowing, that have that, that fractal of gold weaved through them from source is going to be able to fight that. There's gonna be able to have the strength to fight that.  So a soul can leave a body and not have another soul walk in. They just are then organic beings, they have everything that they require to have a pulse and a heartbeat and function, but they don't, they're not real. They're not, they don't have the capacity to be a real spiritual person. They're just hollow. Some people refer to them as NPCs or soul lists or whatever. So how many people do you know went through things like that and they came out zombies in life? I can't help but think that, that, you know, that little fractured soul was just removed from that. That was the contract, you know, expired. That's all that they had to, I said that the other day, like, you can contract a life of lessons of hardship, but it's only to a certain point. And then you're gonna be taken out of that. And depending on things, you may or may not.  And the strong are gonna have the will to survive and go a different direction and fight the darkness and go to the light. Yes, yes. Yeah, it makes me really think about, I've been doing this over and over and over and over again. So, you know, I worked at a bank. It's how I got to know all the old Athens money folks. Yeah. And I got really sick. I'm not gonna go into my whole story right now because I think it'll just go too long for this episode. But I got really, really sick in like 1995, six. Couldn't walk very well, like couldn't wear shoes. Like it was really, really bad. I had to quit my job at that bank. And I was there 11 years. I was like, I love that, that job and all. But when I look at it now, I'm like, okay. Yeah, I needed to get out of that.  It's banking. And again, the body is going to illustrate what the soul is feeling, you know? Well, then I, you know, start my pickle company. And then I'm, you know, I'm speaking in DC. I mean, just things I never thought I would do, you know? Just, you know. Now you're working with us. Yeah, I'm so famous. I'm so smart. But then I had my store and it was doing great until I got sick. I got sick again. And it attacked my, the inflammation that I used to have all over my body ended up just going here, around my aorta and then the, around my eyes. So giant aororitis.  It happened, it started in 2019. And I mean, been steadily going blinder and blinder and blinder. That I, so I closed my store December 31st, 2019. And people still like ride by it and go, where are you?  But I'm seeing that too. Like that was like my identity for a while, you know? And that's, that was just, you know? Well, and that's, that is that. Making my path upward, I feel like. That is that, that sacred geometry. You know, like if you don't learn the lesson the first time around, it's going to come back around. It's going to keep presenting itself. And I know I have similar things. I kept saying, you're like, what is it that I'm not learning? Like what is it? Am I missing here? And it, you know, source like, don't worry, it's going to come back around. I'm going to give you another opportunity to realize this lesson that I keep giving you. And then eventually, or not, you learn the lesson.  I mean, it's just regional magazines, but I'm thinking now like over there in the cabinet right over there, I have lots, I've got a stack of magazines that they wrote stories about me. They called me a local legacy, like all this stuff. You know, and I'm thinking, I don't really care about any of that. That's all part of your story. It's all part of it. It all brings, that's the beautiful thing Rob Doss says in one of his books, that, you know, things happen to us. And in the moment, we don't know why they're happening. But after they've happened, we can turn around and look back at our life and see exactly why they happened and see exactly, I mean, with my sickness, there's no way. I mean, I'm telling you guys, and I know that I'm the only one that really knows this, but my, I would not be sitting here on YouTube right now talking to you guys if that event had not happened when I was 15 years old. And when my sight went, when everything, that was almost like when the flip went, all right, it's go time. That was almost like that marking of the beginning of a whole new trajectory. And what happens is, is the understanding of the brain, I think you're right, Nicole, that's when the crisis comes in, because my soul knew, my soul is probably very much at peace. But my brain had been programmed to think of life in a certain way. And I've said this before, my life trajectory, what I've done as an adult, there's no one in my family I can go to for advice because I have taken the Robert Frost poem. I have taken the path less traveled by. I don't have the 401K in the corporate job. I haven't had that since I started going to India, but I keep just following where my soul is telling me to go and it's provided an incredible experience thus far. And it's giving, and you're right, Nicole, I think that there are those kind of moments or make or break for a lot of people and they either come out gone or stronger and more determined than ever. And hopefully I think that's the path I took was coming out stronger and more determined too. And I, when I was 12 years old, three years before this all happened, I remember getting in my mom's car at middle school and thinking, what do you do all like, looking at my mom thinking like, I don't want this life.  Like, that's like, I remember thinking, like making a very distinct decision in my 12 year old brain that I didn't want to be like my mom. No offense, I love my mom and she loved her life but I didn't want that. I didn't want that. To me that was like, maybe a stomach turn. I was like, I don't want that life. So it was like that decision was made at 12 and then three years later, a flip happened and it put me on a different path that has been scary because I don't have an experience. I don't, there's no, for where I grew up, all my friends, all their parents, there's a formula that works and they follow this formula. Yes. But I rejected that. And so I'm creating my own formula and just trusting every, just trusting the universe has led me again to this moment, this pinnacle moment right here talking to you ladies that I would have never met if that event hadn't happened at 15 years old. If that makes sense. Yeah, and I think that you can replicate that in many, many, many lives. For, I was doing all the thing, I was checking all the boxes on the checklist of success, right?  And I was like, why does this stuff keep happening? I just don't understand. I'm doing all the things, I have all the degrees.  But within, there was just all this chaos and it, because there wasn't peace, that what, there was an imbalance there. And I felt like the more I gave, which is a very, very true statement, I didn't have any idea at the time, the more I gave, I felt like it was my duty to just give it all, just give all the care to all the patients, give everything to my kids, give everything, everything, everything away. Never, ever, ever expecting it to be returned to me. Not knowing the damage I was doing to myself by not taking care of my own spirit, my own soul, loving myself, giving myself compassion and kindness, healing my own wounds, you know? So that's where you, you finally, I feel like speaking for myself, I won't speak for anyone else.  And you're like, well, oh, I've moved on so many times. I guess I need to go through and deal with all this stuff, you know, because for a long time, putting one foot in front of the other, getting the next job, getting the next promotion, moving on, doing this, whatever, that was success, right? And then I got to a certain point where I'm like, I have done all the things and I have less than I did when I started. So why was I on that hamster wheel? Like why have I been killing myself? Why have I given everything away? Because I was giving all my power away and felt compelled to do so, you know? So people do get to that aha moment where it is make or break and I feel it is soul driven and it is whether you have a connection, a spiritual connection that you truly have faith in or have you just been pretending to have a connection and you actually have no faith in it at all. And you don't know what you're gonna cut, what you're able to do until you try. I personally would rather try and fail than not try. But a lot of people don't have that makeup. Yeah. Yeah, and that's the thing too, you hit on something that I think is really important that we understand, especially as women. Martyrdom is a service to self, it's a negative polarity. And so Nicole said something really important. We give, we give, we give, we give. And I think women have been trained to do that, give to your kids unconditionally, give to your husband, give, give, give, give, give. Well, if you're not getting back in return, then you're on a negative path. You know, I just had that conversation with Catherine Edwards. I know this is airing on Friday, this episode that I just did with her aired Thursday, where we talked about, you know, sponsorships. Like people, you know, most of the subscribers are really supportive about sponsorships and Nicole's about to do sponsorship with us as well. And, but we get a few people that comment really nasty things about us taking sponsorships. But that's because people have the condition to believe martyrdom is good. When martyrdom is a negative, that is a demonic polarity. It's satanic to martyr yourself. So, and we get that in the yoga world. People expect us to teach for free. Well, how am I gonna keep the lights turned on in the shower if I'm teaching for free?  Like that is martyrdom and it's negative. It's a selfish, it's not a selfless. And somebody commented this, it was beautiful. Yes, taking care of yourself is service to others. Yeah. It is service to others. So if you're the type of person that thinks you have to give and give and give and you're doing the right thing, you're only doing the right thing if you're getting back. Yeah. Right? Yeah. And I have that, I have that conversation with countless people every single day because they find themselves in the exact same scenario I just trans, you know, describe to you and they're at a loss. They're like, but I don't understand.  And so your inner child is screaming for attention. Your children have everything.  And there you are with the crumbs of life. Like that is not in service of others. You have nothing to give. I don't know what you're giving to them, but it is not authentic. The concern is you have vapors left in your soul. You have to go back and love yourself enough to heal yourself, to address the wounds, to understand why you run from things, to understand why you stay so busy that escapism mentality that I'm so busy I can't take care of myself. Well, there's a problem. There's a problem and your life is gonna continue to be chaotic and have fires here and fires there and little bombs going off because you're not taking care of this center. You're not taking care of the soul. Right, even just be taking my little walks. Yeah, I think I posted one this morning on my YouTube, but just, or yesterday on my YouTube, but I am even doing that, like in just sharing it, you know, with others. I'm like, it's so silly that I'm like, I think that I've gotta record myself taking a walk, right? Well, it is something that I really, really, really need. And there was a lot of work I needed, I was supposed to be doing at the time, but I'm like, you know what? The sun is shining right now. It might rain tomorrow.  And escape from that world and see an owl flew across while I was videoing. You can't make this stuff up.  Like I was like, wow, I really needed that for myself. And yes, I did not get everything done that I was supposed to get done today, but there are people commenting on that video saying they really needed that, that it, so yes, it's service to me, taking care of myself is service to others. So that's how I'm seeing this, so. Yeah, and the law of one is very clear about that. Like martyring yourself is putting you on a negative polarity. It's not putting you on a positive one, but we have been conditioned to venerate martyrs. We've been conditioned, but we've been conditioned by people who know that that is a negative polarity. You know, I know, you know, right now for me financially getting a massage isn't in the finances, but I know, although Catherine Edwards, very sweet, sent me a gift card, so I'm very excited to book it. But like people who go and get massages and feel like they have to apologize for that. No, you're taking care of yourself. And you're making that exchange with that massage therapist who's been a long time in school to be able to provide that service to you. There's an exchange of energy.  No, it's not. If you can afford it, do it, because that's how you're going to take care of yourself. And you are also in the flip side because you are taking care of yourself. Again, you're providing an opportunity for the service provider. You're paying for an opportunity for them to be able to take care of themselves. You've also made yourself more balanced and grounded so you can come home and be more attentive to your dependence. You know, it's not selfish at all. You know, we have to remember that, it's like when you fly in the oxygen mask, you put your mask on first before the person next to you. Yeah, every now and again, I will have a flip moment where I fall back into those old habits, you know? And Source's way of getting my intention to snap me out of that is he makes me feel like I have a sunburn. All of a sudden my arms are like really hot and I'm like, you're right. You're right, like that is an old way of thinking. That is not gonna serve me and that is not gonna get me the reward. That is not gonna, so he pushes me right back on that path. Now, had I been, I'm sure I had the same guidance but I was so involved in life and doing all the things before.  But you get trained in your mind.  It may be, but it may also be that guidance, that spiritual guidance of you're really falling off the path that's gonna truly reward your soul. Pay attention to it. So now I'm like, yep, you're right. Thanks for that. Thanks for that little nudge. Let me straighten myself up again. And actually, I want all of our subscribers, all of our friends watching right now. I want you to put in the comment section one thing you do every day that's just for you. And if you can't think of something to put, then there you go, there's your starting point. That could be like Angie just taking a walk. It could be putting music on and dancing for a few minutes. It could be taking a hot bath. That's what I love to do every night. I take a hot bath with Epsom salts and reading a murder mystery. What do you do for you every day? Maybe you go and get a pedicure once a week. That's okay. You can afford it, absolutely do it. It's reflexology on your foot. It's soothing for you. You're also supporting a local business. Yeah. And for me, like the bath thing, I try. I try. It's not my thing. I do try because I like detox baths and things like that. Like I'll do those things. And I'm like, when will the water finally cool off so I can get out of here? Because I feel like I'm wasting the hot water. I'm like, it's still hot. I've got things I want to do. Like I might want to write something. I do a lot of poetry that I don't really share with anyone else. But that's like, so I'm sitting in there going. That's okay. That might not work for me. That's always, even when I was a child, that would be very upset. My mother would just put me in a hot bath and it would calm me down. So that's always been for me something that really works. It might not work for you. Find out what you enjoy. What do you like? Yeah, I'm like, give me a window. Like just let me like sit and look at a window. That's, you know. Yeah. I do my meditation in the morning and then kind of helps me kind of center my path for the day. I take whatever comes along and then at night, I do salt bath before I go to bed and kind of detox the day away and start new again the next day. That's the same. I always do it right. Well, I'm kind of, listen, bless all the men's heart who've ever shared a bed with me. I am very OCD about the sheets. And you ain't getting in my bed unless you cleaned your body off. Like I don't care if you took a shower this morning. You get in that shower and scrub. Luckily, my boyfriend's the same way. He will shower every night before bed too. But that's part of it too. It's like I calm my mind down. The salt, the hot bath helps me calm down. Oops, yeah. And then it also helps with my OCD about the bed being clean, you know, for, because I do, that is one thing that I struggle with is OCD and cleanliness. I really do, that's something I have to work on is to allow things to be a little messy. Like, you know, I have a hard time with allowing things to be messy. But I think a lot of that is trauma based from growing up in the environment that I grew up in. We know people with eating disorders. It's because they're trying to control something because they don't feel like they have any control. Same thing about OCD and anxiety. It's like the OCD is trying to control your space because you've been under so much stress.  And I totally understand that in that situation that was the only option. Because maybe the local public school wasn't the best there. And that was a generational thing. So they were stuck between a rock and a hard place. And I don't know back then if parents knew, really knew what abuses were happening, happening. I mean, now that, I mean, listen, my Spanish teacher isn't the only teacher I have that's now in federal prison. There's a couple of them that are in federal prison. So that was very validating. When you find out they got arrested and you're like, yeah, that makes sense. I can, I'm not shocking. I had, but this is as an adult, but I had a coworker that just made my skin crawl, right? And everybody really like loved him, right? And so I was just this odd ball out, right? But he seemed to be very, has these like predator type traits about him. And so I know I warned a couple of people that I felt like he was really praying on through a much, much younger than him. And of course it ended up in a complaint and we ended up with the HR representative and the union representative and all those things, whatever. And they wanted me to apologize. And I said, I'm not gonna apologize because that is what my gut is telling me. Whether I am proven to be right or not, I feel it in my soul. And we can just agree to disagree and ask for, I continue to steer, so we ended up leaving that job shortly after. And about a year later, an ex-co-worker sent me a message and she was like, look at the newspaper, the online newspaper for this city. And so I did and he was across the front page and he had been charged with pilfering drugs from the ER and he was taking them to his house and using them on his children and their friends and filming awful things. And he's in federal prison. And I was like, you know, that gut thing, something to that, you have to honor that feeling. Like when you really feel in the pit of your stomach that you should not be around someone, it is for a reason. That is sore still and you get away. Get away, it's not in your highest and best good. And so many people, I think it's different everywhere. My context is really, you know, in the South, we have this, we're like, you know, I have to go to the so-and-so's Christmas party because it's expected of me, but I feel like my skins crawl on the whole time I'm there.  Like you should probably honor that and protect yourself, protect your spirit, your soul and your energy and not go. Yeah, you know? And it's like this, like I could not go? Yeah, you cannot go. You have free will of choice. I've stopped going. I mean, and I'm real close to a lot of the stuff I'm supposed to go do, family-wise, community-wise, whatever. And I'm just, no. You're done, Zs. I'm done. Yeah, I'm not toeing the line anymore. I'm gonna take care of myself. And I always say that is your unapologetic boundary. We have to, as a people, get to where we're comfortable taking care of ourselves and understand that it's not selfishness and be unapologetic about it. Like don't say, I'm gonna go get a massage today because I just, I need it. And I know it sounds bad of me. Like don't give an apology for the one thing you decided to do for yourself. Don't apologize for it. Yeah. Own it. Taking care of myself. Yeah. For my body. Yeah, this is good for me. Yeah, it's part of it. Yeah, absolutely. Well, I think that we're coming up towards an hour. All these things fly by so fast. I think that's a great section to leave it off with. I wanna ask our subscribers if they have any questions about this stuff. I'm thinking next time we should talk about the organic portals and the humans that don't have souls.  I wanna know like, do these people know they're satanist? Yeah, we can know. We'll get into that. I've got another person coming on my show next week to talk about it. We also wanna talk about it with you guys too because this is really important. This is something they don't tell us that we really should be understanding that not every human being actually has a soul which is different from the psychopath. Psychopaths do have souls and they have decided to use them in a negative way. Organic portals don't and it's 50% of our human population is an organic community. They don't have souls. They're just walking bodies. And we'll get into that next conversation. Well, like in the food world, organic is like a really good word. So like- Well, that's what the law one calls a word. Yeah, organic portals meaning that they are, most organic portals are controlled by nefarious higher. They don't, yeah. So we'll get into that next week, guys, next time. So anyway, any questions you guys have, let us know down in the comment section and let us know what you do every day, what's something you do every day to nourish yourself. And again, if you can't think of something- Now's the time to start. That's a sign. Take that as you, if you're looking for a sign, here's your sign. So, all right, you guys. Well, I'll put both Angie and Nicole's channels will also be down in the description box below. So if you're not subscribed to them, please go get subscribed to them and we will all talk to you soon. Bye everybody. Bye.


The reason we put these tedious seem like nonsense. Right, trivial is because trivial, you know, you may think it is, right? But we put it in there is to see if you can follow direction. Even though it may be trifling or trivially. I mean, it may be like, why they want all this, why they want it's because 90% of it is administrative. That's why you see solicitations a hundred pages long or that's why we do that. We want to make sure that you can follow directions. It ain't the technical language if you can follow directions. And, you know, and I understand that because, you know, one of the things that when I'm working with new companies, like you said, that are really good construction companies, I mean, they're excellent companies. They perform, they can get the work done. They fall short with the paperwork.