Yeah. So kind of a long story. I'll try and make it short. Out of high school, I played basketball through high school. Didn't really look to go play anywhere. I went on a two-year church mission. So that was kind of my focus, got back. Kind of wanted to play, but wasn't a super huge deal. Anyways, crazy, crazy things happened. I got a call from my travel coach who knew a community college coach up in Washington state that had some injuries and had some kids that kicked off the team. So they needed somebody to come in halfway through the season. And so they were actually looking for my brother who was on his church mission. And they said he's not available, but his brother's sitting around doing nothing. So I ended up getting to go try out and ended up playing the rest of the year there. So that was a great experience. After that, coach kind of got forced to resign. He had to go a different way. Met a girl. I wanted to get married. Didn't have time for work. This girl and basketball. So decided to move on. Move back to Utah. Was going to go to school for architecture. But when I got back, I needed a job. And my cousins were in the training program that was looking for more trainers. So I was like, okay, that'd be cool to teach basketball as my side job while I get my degree. And anyway, started getting really involved with it, really enjoyed it. I didn't know at the time that you could like actually go full time with training and stuff like that. So again, it was just a side job, but about a year through it, I was really enjoying it. I got along really well with the owner. And it was a big company. There's, I think, 20 something trainers in the company. So it is a big thing. But kind of worked my way up. I was doing the marketing for the whole company, doing a lot of stuff, got the opportunity. So he has licenses so people can buy into the business. And I took the opportunity to do that. So I had this little area that was mine, basically my own business. And so that's kind of how I got into the business side of running it. And that was about four years ago. And then towards the end of that four years, I started really like, again, at the beginning, I was just kind of getting into it, learning everything. Then last two years, I started like do my own research and kind of figure out, you know, I was like, how can I be better? How can I make the program better? I mean, I kind of learned and kind of went a different way than the company was. And we make it work. He was the owner was really like flexible for me and tried to let me do things, but got to the point where we just didn't agree on where we wanted to go. So about just last October, we came to an agreement and I was able to get out of the non-compete and he let me kind of go off on my own to start my own business. So now that's what I have, Ice Basketball. So it's my own business. I run it by myself, nobody else. And that's kind of been five, five-ish months now. And that's kind of where I'm at. So but here I am. Cool.  I mean, it's nothing too crazy, but it stands for confident and effective. And so that's kind of my goal with my players is to help them help them do that. So one of the main reasons I wanted to split was the previous company was it was just shooting. So we just worked and it was really just all technique stuff. There's no live play, there's no defense, nothing like that, which is great, right? And a lot of players need that. But what I saw was there were a lot of skilled players that didn't know use those skills in the game. And so that we started to really like diverge on our philosophies. Well, I wanted to do more of that. So that's kind of where we were. Awesome. So tell us a little bit about Ice Basketball then. What do you guys specialize in? So I do small group training. So our sessions have up to six players. Like I mentioned that, so we can really train the application of the skills. So I have them come warm up and we go right into some live competitive drills. Obviously still focused on skill building, but live competition. And then we kind of break it down and we go back to the more traditional stuff and then throw them right back into a live situation. So again, my goal is to build a skill but then help them apply it. That's all I do is just the groups. I don't do any one on one stuff. I don't do any. I mean, I do clinics but it's kind of the same idea, six players. I try and cap it out. So that's really where I kind of try and specialize the small groups. So what would you say is one thing that you're seeing in basketball at the moment with the clients you're working with in terms of like what do players need the most help with? So I think it's that same thing. So obviously like in Utah, like AU is like a big thing, right? So like in the summer, kids are going to add some kids that play like 20 games in a week, you know? But the problem with that is that in a game, unless you're the best player on the team, you only have to ball in your hand for about two minutes for each game, right? Then you got all the travel trying to get there and all that stuff. So it's a lot of wasted time, right? But obviously you still need to do it. So, you know, I'm still on a five on five. And then again, with my previous company, it was all one on no stuff, right? Which is great. You have the ball the whole time and you get to build skill that way. But it's the transfer in between that I think is the main issue, right? Which I basketball players are starting to, you know, find the research on and do a little bit more of that. Again, you need all three components, but it's that small group stuff where still focused on specific skills. You have the ball in your hands more. But you can still apply live situations, decision making that will help it transfer to the game. So I think that's the biggest thing missing. It used to be that pick up basketball in the park and with friends, kind of where you would get that small group that two on two, three on three stuff with how big kids are on AAU and how much emphasis parents put on that. You know, we kind of lose that pick up here, especially in Utah. I know it's a little different other places, but Utah is a little crazy that way. Cool. So for coaches that aren't based in the US, can you explain a little bit about what AAU is? Yeah. So let's kind of consider the, I would call it the competitive off season, right? So you have your high school season, November through February ish, but AAU has really become big because that's kind of considered the where college coaches go recruit actually, right? Because they in a gym with hundreds of players that are all high level players all playing against high level players, as opposed to trying to make it to each high school throughout the season. So it really got big for the recruiting aspect of it. And that's kind of, it's really just huge. So like city leagues and complex are considered like minor stuff. If you really want to be a good player, you got to be doing AAU, you got to travel out of state, right? You want to get into the AAU rankings if you want to go division one and play at the big company. So it's a big hill and obviously it's important to play against the best competition, which is what I think AAU can provide. And again, the exposure to all the college coaches, that's why it's super huge, especially in the States. Awesome. And we get asked on a regular basis because a lot of coaches are kind of competing against these AAU clubs because they're struggling to get committed clients because they're so committed to their teams. So has that been something you've come across in your business? I've run into that a little bit, mostly in the summer. It's talking to, again, Utah is weird for some reason, but talking to other trainers, they're like, okay, it's the summer. This is when we get to work in, right? Players have more time. And I'm like, summer's where I struggle the most because they're out of town every week for a tournament. But other than that, like the parents here are like super invested in helping their kids be the best they can be, whether that's the kids or for themselves. But you know, so most of the kids I have are willing to train the whole year. And they really just take a break in the summer if they're out of town, literally out of the country. But as long as they're in town, pretty much everybody I have is here and working. And is there any piece of advice you would give any basketball trainer that is watching and maybe struggling with getting their clients committed during an AAU season? One of the biggest things that has been a huge help with my new business after I've split was adding the online component of my training and having our training app that gives them the workouts throughout the week that can message me, send me videos like when I'm on a sales call, I say, if you're out of town, right, you can't make this session, but you're at a tournament and they're shot, they feel like they're not shooting very well. You can just upload the video real quick, send it to me, I'll send it right back, right? And you can just go to even when you're across the country, right? I think that's been a huge selling point as far as the program goes on. Helping parents and kids feel comfortable signing up, even though they know they're going to be gone for like maybe even a whole month of the summer because they're coaching even if they're not there in person. Awesome, love that. So let me tell you back to when you first started your business. So what was one of the biggest obstacles you faced at the beginning or maybe you currently are facing it? I mean, the biggest struggle is always just how to find players, right?  That's always been the struggle like before. So a little more background with my previous business, right? The biggest struggle is gym time. I know that's the biggest struggle for most people trying to get into it is consistent gym time. We were struggling with it, but eventually we found a place. So now we have a lease. I got the five-year lease, so I still have about two and a half years left on it. So having that be covered, the biggest struggle has just been finding kids to fill it up, right? And the biggest, I guess the biggest fear is I have this lease payment. So if I all of a sudden all my kids quit, then I'm stuck with this lease payment and I'm not making any money. But other than that, like again, being part of the business group with Ben and you guys has got so much less stressful. It's hard to think of like a big obstacle right now, just because there's so much covered in there. And once you think, even just like following the YouTube videos, you prove my business so much that even when obstacles came up, it was like, okay, I know how to deal with this though, right? Even if the answer is in any YouTube videos or the group easier to deal with now. That's awesome. So what piece of advice would you give any basketball trainer that is looking to maybe get their first client or wants to grow? What's one piece of advice that's maybe helped you to gain new clients? Do free stuff. To really like sell your program, you have to have like results that you can show and when you're just starting out, you don't have any results to show. You have the ideas and they should work, right? You believe they're gonna work, but you can't expect, really expect people to pay a high premium for somebody that's just starting out, right? So really like I did, when I started it was all like free clinics. I was doing one like every single week just to get kids in the gym. And I got maybe one out of the eight players every time signing up, but do that for eight to 10 weeks. That's eight to 10 players that you sign up and then it builds from there. So don't be afraid to do free stuff is kind of staying as far as getting started. Yeah. And one of the main reasons I find with a lot of coaches that we do give that piece of advice too is that they don't want to hand out free stuff because of the investment they have to make. So for example, if you're running a free clinic in a gym, obviously you have to put some money down to rent it out. So is it worth the investment? Yeah. So again, in my situation, I had a gym, I was paying for the whole month already. I had the lease, but then I was also paying, it was about at least 75 to 100 bucks per clinic and paid advertising just to get the clinics out there. So I was putting that money out. If nobody signed up, then that's just money gone. But if you really believe in it and you just think of it as like you're just giving them a taste of the program because it's so much easier to sell them when you actually talk to them about the details. And it says you get this every week. Plus for me, you get the online part, which you didn't get to experience in the clinic. So you could just come to the clinics, but then you won't get the online stuff. And it's just every once in a while, there's no consistency. So yeah, I think it's again, it's hard to put money down and not get money back. But if I'm paying 100 bucks and I get six kids at the clinic, one of them signs up for a year, then my return on that 100 bucks is at least $1,500. So it's definitely worth it. So where do you see this industry going in the next two to five years? I think it's going to grow. I mean, it's getting to the point where you don't like if you're not involved with personal training or private training program, then you're probably not going to make it to a high level, which is unfortunate for the kids that really can't afford it, which is why I think it's important to provide opportunities like that, like free clinics and online training, stuff like that. Online part's going to be a big thing, right? Again, I think that's why I'm able to separate myself a little bit because there's a lot of trainers popping up, right? Not many of them have an online program to go with the in-person stuff. So I think that's going to get bigger. I'm really interested. I've kind of looked into it a little bit. I'm interested to see where virtual reality goes with training, especially like the mental side of it. Like, I think it'd be way cool to put on one of the, you know, headsets and just experience like NBA finals last two minutes through the eyes of one of the players, right? And just like hear the crowd and everything. So I'm interested to see where that goes. I don't know as far as like actually shooting a basketball in virtual reality, but the mental component, I think that sounds really cool. So there's lots of ways it could go. You know, people are smart and creative and it's just going to get more and more innovative and new stuff will come out. That'll be weird for a while and then eventually it'll be accepted. So yeah, yeah, yeah. I agree. So you've been, you've been part of our coaching program for a while now. Talk to us or tell the audience about your experience within main money coaching sports. What's something that you've gained from it? Has it helped your business to grow? Would you recommend it to other trainers? Yeah. So like I said, I've only actually been in the group about three months, but it's about, I think two years ago, I discovered Ben's videos on YouTube and just started following those. And I think it was, I don't know what day of the week it was every Friday or something. He would put out a new one and I would watch it every single time. And you know, it was just, it was so different than what we were doing, right? As far as like the long-term commitments, right? Because we tried to sell people on that, but they were just like, oh, a month in, we want to quit. Like we have stuff going on. So they weren't signed to anything. So I couldn't really stop them. And I'm not a confrontational person. So I didn't like to say, well, you said you'd come for a while, you know. So I hated that. But anyway, so watching all this stuff, the YouTube videos were great. I had talked to Ben once or twice and really just did not have the money to join as much as I wanted to. But took a, I think it was last year, about a year ago, took a four-week course about emails and promotions. And that was awesome. And so, you know, everything I've gotten, had gotten was great. I just didn't fund. And then towards the end of last year, it had been a couple months as I started my new one, I was like, you know, all this stuff is like really, really working. I want to go like full into it. You know, Ben said, I want an offer and I took it. Being a part of the full group the past three months has been like even better, right? And one of the coolest things, again, when I got back from playing college, I didn't know that this could be a full-time thing, right? Even if it could, I was thinking, you know, 50, $60,000 a year max, right? That's the most I'm ever going to get to. So I got to go get a job. You know, being part of the just, you know, we have that on my community, you can post your wins and everything. And that's one of the coolest parts is just seeing all these people that are like, oh, I just hit 20,000 this month. And I'm like, what the heck? I'm not even close, but that's cool that, you know, it's free so level. So just that part has kind of opened my mind and said, no, I can get to that point, right? And by using all this stuff, but being able to be in there and, you know, throw up an email and say, hey, what do you guys think about this? Does this work and get me back? And I'm not just from you and Ben and Nick, but everybody in the group, right? And then just the content in there, again, is so much different than what most trainers are doing, right? And you just have that's a possibility until like you get in there and hear it. That makes way more sense than the way I'm trying to do it. So they're just in there and, you know, again, being part of the group and just seeing everybody win, you know, there was a Breonna posted that Steph Curry followed her the other day. And I like, you know, stuff like that is super, super cool. Apart from just like the actual content, which again is so much better than kind of the normal trainer policies that people follow. Cool. So how many clients are you currently working with right now? I just hit 40 yesterday. Congrats. Yeah. So and that's, yeah, in October, I had to start from scratch. I had zero about five and a half months have gotten up to 40. So very good. Very good. So and that that's all in groups, correct? Yeah. Awesome. So that's a massive growth within within quite a short, short period of time. So what does it take to get to that that growth in such a short period of time? What would you need as a as a business owner? The word I think of is desperation. So like I mentioned, I have this gym payment and the company I was with before still wanted to use it. So they use it half the days and I use it the other days.  So you know, but it was really like, I got to get at least 20 kids in the next month. Otherwise, it was in money.  So we were good for a month or two. But you do different things when, you know, there's there's a deadline. So you know, said, said deadlines, make sure you're working towards them. And like I said, it was like free clinics as much as possible, you know, and there were a lot of people that were like, you're brand new. We don't trust you. So we're out. But there's a lot of kids that were like, well, we'll give you a chance three months, you know, see how it goes. And then by the end of three months, they sign up for another year. So you know, let's take what you get and just keep working until things start flowing. The first part is the hardest. Like the first 20 kids is hardest, right? After kind of have some people to show results with you get referrals. But yeah, just the desperation of the having that payment was kind of and a new baby coming in a month. So, you know, a lot going on. But that's what drove me to do things I didn't like. I don't like doing sales.  Right.  So talk to us a bit about your sales and marketing process. How are you gaining new clients? Where they coming from? So when I started, my plan with the split was I had some money saved up to one, cover the gym payment, but to do some paid advertising, which I had experienced doing. So I didn't have to hire anybody to do that. And then, like I mentioned, it was free clinics for the first two months. I did one paid camp, which I had one kid sign up from. But that was good. But everything was free. It was all Facebook ads pretty much to that point. And then from there, so like starting January, February, I had some more kids coming in. My Instagram started getting bigger. And that's not huge. I think I only have like five on your followers. So that's not big for some people, but you know, growing. So as I was watching, going and watching games of the kids that I train, I would kind of watch the other teams and like, who's a good player on the other team that has some potential, you know, and then I would go follow them on Instagram.  So I kind of had to wait for them to follow. But then once they did, and they were viewing my stories, I can just send them a message, say, Hey, I watched you play the other day. I thought you're great. I would love to help you get even better. I'm in for a free session. And I think I've gotten, I think five or six kids from that. And then it's just, again, it's hard to get started. But once that happened, I talked with Ben about it about a month ago. There's no like one right answer for getting kids, right? It's like, you don't need to be getting 10 kids a month from Facebook advertising. You can get two kids from that, two kids from referrals and two kids from clinics and two kids from Instagram, right? And that's been the past couple of months.  So that's kind of the, the base market, you think? That's really cool. So when I talk to coaches on a regular basis, a lot of them ask me, how do I get clients through social media? Now, last week, I spoke with actually a basketball trainer. And he has quite a big following on social media. He was up to I think 20K. But when we did a deep dive into his business, you know, he was only working with one or two clients. So what piece of advice would you give to any trainer that is looking to use social media to try and grow and scale their business, to try and get new clients? I mean, it depends on what you're going for. Like if you're going online stuff, right? Then I think the huge following is a big deal. But as far as like being local, you know, I think it's more about finding the right connections, right? And I know Ben talks about that too. But out of the, you know, 500 something followers I have, probably at least half 300 of them are in Utah and close enough to train with me. So, you know, I value those 300 more than 10,000 people in Florida, right? Because they can't come with me.  I'm starting to hit a cap. I've messaged just about everybody I can that is following me. But, you know, I'm planning to go watch games. And that's one of my favorite things to do. So like the AU tournaments, that's the other good thing as far as, you know, kids are always caught up in it.  Talk to parents, talk to coaches, you know, and it's super easy there. And then, you know, follow them on Instagram. If you can't send them a message, be like, Hey, I saw you play. You know, that's, that's great. So that's that's been the easiest way. Again, I'm starting to hit a cap with messaging people on Instagram. But, but at this point, it's been good. I went, I went to each high school roster and just looked up every person that wasn't graduating and just followed each one. And that 20, 30 minutes, right? But I got at least two people to sign up just from doing that. Okay, good, good. That's good. And it's good because you have an intent behind what you're doing. Like a lot of coaches, what they do is they just upload these really cool videos and kind of just sit back and hope something happens. But you're actually intentional with the way you use it. So it's really good. And obviously, it's working for you because you have got results from it. Yeah. And I actually, I've been putting less effort into my posts intentionally, just because it hasn't been worth it, putting more focus into my stories and messaging. Yeah, that's a big thing as well. All right, Jesse. Well, the last question for you, where did you see your business in the next five years from now? Well, that's, that's a really cool thing is I could go a lot of different ways. So currently, I'm only training two days a week. You know, and I can get up to about 72 kids, which would give me well over 100,000 in revenue per year.  I could hire and I'm planning right now. The tentative plan is to hire another trainer to do those two days as well, about 144 kids, you know, and I could get up to hopefully over 200k in revenue and all that. So I could go there or I could keep going from there, hire more trainers, get more gym time, and just keep going. But for now, the plan is I think hire one more trainer, stick with the two days, have the rest of the days to be with my family. And, you know, I think I'll enjoy that. You know, I don't have to be a millionaire. I don't want to be like, I don't really want to be an NBA trainer, you know, famous, anything like that. I just want to kind of stick with the kids in my area and no long term and view that. So that's kind of kind of where I'm at. But, you know, growth, growth and success is a little addicting. So I will get to that point. Awesome. So did you think it was possible to train twice a week and have a successful business? Yeah, no. Yeah. And again, that was part of one of the reasons I left my previous one was it was two kids per session. I was paying over 1500 bucks a month for other trainers. I was still working 25, 30 hours a week, spending another 10, 15 hours trying to market and do sales and all that stuff. So much effort for so little profit. You know, kind of saw the vision of doing that. And, you know, I didn't, I don't think I'm losing any results for my kids, right? I think it's just as good if not better.  It was a huge difference. So it's having like, again, just being able to know that there's somebody out there that's making $20,000 a month doing training, right? I can get half of that. I mean, it could shake. Yeah, absolutely. Absolutely. Because I mean, what most trainers think out there is that to earn more, you've got to work more. But the truth is, if you have proper structure and systems in place, then you can work less, but earn more as well, which is essentially the system you have in place. So good luck. Keep up the great work. I'm obviously, I follow you in the community. I see everything you do, your posts, your wins. So keep up the great work. And thanks again for coming on, sharing with us your journey. And hopefully I can bring you on in a year's time or in 12 months. And we can, we can have another conversation and see where your business is. And then Yeah, I mean, I've watched a lot of these. So it's cool to be a part of it. So thanks for that. And one more thing, if any, if any trainer wants to connect with you, what is the best way to do that? Best way is probably just Instagram at ice underscore B ball. So pretty logos, pretty recognizable. So should be fine. But that's me sending a message. I've had a couple of people reach out to me from the group. So it shouldn't be fine. Awesome. All right. Well, thanks. Thanks, Jess again. And look forward to catching up with you in the near future. Well, thanks, man. Take care.


Select works of art line the entrance of the unassuming home. Guests were met with a gourmet iteration of Cuba, long chewy strips of salted plantain tempered by creamy guacamole and spice meats on a stick. There is a buzz among the guests that suggests familiarity beyond the event. The charity is aptly named Friends of Carita Cubana as that is certainly the temperament of the company. A live band supplies a melodious score and when I mention Melinda everyone has a story, a reason they love her or her work. When Melinda arrives, many people want to speak with her. No doubt to catch up on becoming Cuba and see how their beloved playwright is doing. She is generous with everyone. When the live auction begins, she gives me a detailed background on the artists that she is particularly fond of before closing her eyes and speaking a hush prayer as the biddy receives whispering, Please, please, please let it go for what it's worth. When it came time to read from becoming Cuba, Melinda chose a scene between the two main characters, a male and a female. She went back and forth swinging her body from side to side in order to signify the different characters speaking. In her chosen movement, the identity challenge of becoming Cuba was suddenly and unexpectedly embodied. Her swaying back and forth gave life to the difficulties of defining Cuban identity that are examined in the play. It was a wonderful nod to both the event and a facet of Melinda's work. In terms of the residency, Melinda herself is carving out her new dual citizenship as a playwright in residence as well as a member of the Huntington Theatre Company staff artistically and operationally. She spent this year identifying the projects to which she can lend her voice as both a theatre artist and administrator. Those projects include expanding community outreach and inclusion, creating a Boston playwright colloquium, and conducting collegiate playwriting workshops all the while allowing herself plenty of dream time to nurture her next play.


In every little slice of suburbia, quietly tucked away in those cute neighborhoods referenced in the real estate pamphlets, there's always that house.  Welcome to Saddle Downs. At one point, the best neighborhood in town, but now, amongst the perfectly manicured lawns and driveways with nary a spot of oil leakage, an unholy abomination that looks like an episode of hoarders made sweet love to Fred Sanford's bread and butter illicit size and dramatic eye rolling from all who reside here. They wonder out loud, how can someone who can afford to buy here live in that kind of mess of all the damned nerve? Standing in the driveway, garden hose in hand and meticulously rinsing my yard tools, I surveyed my crabgrass outbreak with disdain and boiled under the surface about what he's done to this once beautiful collection of domiciles.  How could they not? And it's me who has to live directly across the street from him. The trash, the junk, the 1989 Geo Metro with no hood. The kiddie pool full of slime and frogs. For God's sake, he has three VCRs stacked beside the mailbox. Yes, I said VCRs.  I want to try the new edger I picked up during a July 4th sale, 40 volt top of the line, but as of right now I haven't even seen the point.  As if him. The neighborhood association won't help. If it's anything other than potholes or barbecues, they have a hands off approach to governance. I plan to run for president in the spring.  Something had to be done about him. Ladies and gentlemen, meet Alan mid fifties, twice married and twice divorced. He works as an IT contractor for the state being stuck at home because of COVID. I hadn't seen him outside in months. Who needs to go outside when you have grub hub and your lawnmowers lying next to your house in 100 pieces. He had made a perfect hermit's life intrinsically safe from those of us who only asked for a little bit of respect for the neighborhood. So imagine my surprise when it's 6pm last Friday evening. He suddenly stumbles out the front door down the steps and begins cleaning up his yard. I couldn't believe what I was seeing. I was so stunned that I forgot the hose was still on until I soaked my favorite pair of Duluth trading khakis. I blinked a few times to confirm what I was seeing. Alan was actually cleaning. I quickly gathered my tools and hung them in their outlined spots on the pegboard. My wife Karen got me for Father's Day. Her essential oils business has really taken off lately and she's starting to spoil me. It's amazing what people will do for some of her concoctions. She's got proven anecdotal evidence of the efficacy of her blends. She's healed everything from spider bites to yeast infections with those little bottles of miracle juice. I practically sprinted into the house to let her know what Alan was up to. I made sure to sit by the window the rest of the evening. I continued to peek out at my new favorite neighbor during commercial breaks in the Sean Hannity show. I wanted so very badly to go talk to him about it, but I was terrified that interrupting his task would jinx my good fortune. When I went to bed around 9.30, Alan was still hard at it and showed no signs of slowing. The next morning at 6.15, I heard the familiar beeps that signal a large vehicle moving in reverse. I nearly fell over, trying to slip into my crocs to get to the porch and have a look. A massive flatbed truck was dropping a 30 foot long dumpster in the yard. Alan was really getting serious. I couldn't take it any longer. I had planned to spend the day applying epoxy to my garage floor, but it was Alan's project I was truly excited about now. I had to go over there. Quickly putting on some quality work clothes, I calmly made my way down the driveway and across the street. The yard was already looking better, but it really did have a long way to go. Alan was working like a madman. He's about 5'6 and half as wide as he is tall, what remained of his light brown hair was shaggy and unkempt and he always wore the same outfit. Dark gray suit pants, worn out loafers, and one of those silky short sleeve dress shirts with vertical stripes that were popular in the early 1980s.  And so would I. It was clear that absolutely nothing in the yard would escape the dumpster's insatiable appetite. So without a word, I fell in beside him and set to work.    Like frogs and flamingos bleached in dried brittle by 20 plus years of sun and weather cycles. It was the most fun I've had since the free resort weekend I scored just for attending a time share seminar and buying a share of a sweet villa in Branson, Missouri. Oddly enough though, after a solid half hour of work, Alan hadn't said a word or even acknowledged my presence for that matter. I finally broke the ice.  You've got a big job on your hands here, but it'll totally be worth the effort. I even have a perfect grass seed blend for you. I came up with it myself after a long battle with Clover. You won't believe how good it'll look in a few weeks. Alan never acknowledged my presence. He just continued pushing himself harder and harder. His hair was all over the place and sweat had soaked through his clothes from head to toe. A thought suddenly hit me. I lightly grabbed him by the upper arm and said, Hey Alan, did you ever stop last night? No. I pressed further. You didn't come in at all. You've just been out here nonstop. Yes. It was killing me. I risked ruining everything, but I had to ask, Hey man, why are you suddenly cleaning up after 20 years of neglecting your yard and ignoring everyone who has ever asked you to do something about it? Under labored breath, still without slowing even a step or glancing my direction. He said they're coming. I inquired further, who's coming? You having a family get together? Did Chef Party Jehovah's Witnesses stop and buy to check on your soul? Alan suddenly snapped up, lunged at me and screamed directly in my face. No, no, no, no. He abruptly turned and went right back to picking up a large chunk of a broken toilet covered in wet leaves, heaving it into the dumpster and waddling to the other side of the driveway to begin unearthing an old riding mower covered in the remnants of a splintered waterbed frame. I was a bit caught off guard by the aggression. Regardless, I was so happy to see Alan's grass for the first time since April 22, 2001 that I was willing to overlook his anger. Still though, at that point I felt it best to just go on back home. I went ahead and started on my garage floor project. I backed my RAV4 out into the driveway. I didn't have to deal with Karen's Volvo because she had an early appointment at the hair salon, then planned to return some things at a department store she felt were dishonestly presented by the salesperson. I think she planned on giving that manager a piece of her mind. After a few more days of cleaning outside, inside, and having a huge fence built around the yard, Alan's place was looking great. I decided I would go shake the hands of whatever visitors he was having that had motivated him to take on this glorious project. As it turned out, I was given the opportunity to do so sooner than expected. Alan's guests arrived the very next day. It was an interesting looking bunch that piled out of a few of those monster passenger vans. Upon closer inspection, I saw the side of them that said Zip Life Holistics. Some looked to be under 40 or so, and some of them couldn't have been much past their high school years. Athletic wear, more specifically track suits, was the prevailing choice and attire for every one of them. Each of them wore a different color though, and when they got out of the vans, it was like someone dumped a bag of Skittles onto the driveway. Their energy was boundless, running, jumping, and shouting loudly with the same enthusiasm I feel when my grass finally reaches the four and a half inch mark and I get to fire up the Cub Cadet. God, I love that more. Everyone congregated in the front yard, surrounding Alan and giving him endless handshakes and pats on the back. Alan looked exhausted, but he had put on his best smile for the greeting.  The next morning, at 7 o'clock on the dot, the cheers began. Who lives their life with zip and pride? We do, we do, who flows with joy they cannot hide? We do, we do. They did this over and over and over, for a solid 15 minutes, stopping only to cheer and clap.  They began to sprint off throughout the neighborhood, so after all of them were gone, I sauntered over to talk to Alan. He was alone in the yard, dressed in a lime-green tracksuit and doing jumping jacks. I feigned enthusiasm. Hey buddy, how's it going with the visitors? They're sure an energetic bunch. His attitude had turned a complete 180 degrees.  They're going to change the life of everyone in this neighborhood, just you wait and see. I was skeptical and still a touch unnerved by the arrival of these health ambassadors. I mean, maybe they could help the neighborhood get back on track. Quarantine had really taken its toll on the midsection and hind quarters of just about everyone in Saddle Downs. Working from home was awesome, but the cafeteria choices were endless now. Eating had become a sport for me by that point. I figured I could try and get on board. It was just a bunch of overzealous kids, right? Well, Alan, I suppose all of us could use some guidance right now and maybe they've got some techniques to help us avoid COVID, right? Oh, most definitely Brad, most definitely. You'll see. That was enough for me for the moment. As I started back to my own yard, I turned back and asked Alan how he got involved with these people. I met them on the internet playing an ORPG game called Second Life. I had no idea what that was, but the answer was good enough for me. I cruised back over to the house, figuring Karen had my kale shake ready to go along with a little avocado and falafel on toast that would likely not hit the spot. As the day wore on, I kept an eye on things out on the streets of saddled downs. The lifers, as I'll refer to them, were going door to door with their flyers. Some successfully gained entry to make what I presumed was their sales pitch, while others maintained that huge smile and boundless enthusiasm after being turned away at the door. They did, however, leave a small yellow sticker on the mailbox on the way out. Alan continued to exercise, with one of the zip life zealots cheering him on. Eventually, a couple of them were on my doorstep. Ugh, it was the first time I had seen any of them up close, and the only way I can describe them accurately is to say, they dazzled. The startlingly attractive young man and woman before me had perfectly straight, shockingly white teeth. Their aroma was fantastic, like some perfect blend of sugar cookies and tied pods, clean and sweet. It was intoxicating.   The young man's orange irises didn't have that fake look you see with color contacts either. I think they were legit, which for a split second sent a chill down my spine. As the young man began his pitch, perfectly straight, blindingly white teeth opened to a mouth that said, Hello, sir, I'm Tanner, and this is Kylie. We're friends of your neighbor, Alan Randall, and are representatives of the world's number one door-to-door health and wellness company, ZipLife Holistics. I have no idea what he said after that. All I remember is smiling dreamily, looking back and forth between their mesmerizing eyes, skin that appeared to have disco balls embedded in its pores, and feeling compelled to only breathe through my nose. I found my feet shifting below me as I pushed open the storm door and welcomed them into my home. Floating in sheer ecstasy, I led them to the couch, where they sat down and produced a flyer for me to read. At that moment, all I could think of was how much I wanted to please these strangers, how I would do absolutely anything for Taylor and Kylie. Yes, I'll sign those forms, yes, I'll be ready at 10pm on Friday, sure, I'll be eating nothing but raw organic foods until then. I'll do everything, just as you wish. I just want to be well for you. Thank you for saving me. Thank God for Karen. She had been in the kitchen, live streaming one of her super coupon videos. She has 152 subscribers, not too shabby, right? And hadn't noticed Tanner and Kylie's entrance until the smell hit her. Who's here? That's not Gain. That's Tide. That shit's expensive. Someone needs a coupon lesson. She stopped dead in her tracks when she saw me starting to sign papers. Don't you sign anything, Brad. They're probably going to hit your credit card for a hundred bucks a month or something. You kids, skedaddle, didn't you see the magnet on my car? I blend essential oils. Do you know what that means?  It ain't happening. Not on my watch. The two beautiful, amazing smelling lifers smiled, thanked me for my time, and gave Karen a little death stare as they made for the door. Karen followed them into the yard, yelling the whole way. Don't you make a face at me. I've got your leaflet in the house, and don't you think for a second I won't call your manager about the shady tactics you're using. I exhaled sharply and ran my hands across my face to wake up a bit. When I looked back up, they were gone, and one of those little yellow stickers adorned our mailbox. Karen gave me a bit of a scolding after she came back inside, but I did deserve it. It didn't last too long, though, because she had to get back to work on a big batch of potato salad to take to a party at my office. Those people love her recipe. The rest of the lifers eventually congregated back at Allen's house. It looked like they were camping in the backyard, which is probably why Allen had that absurdly high fence installed. Around 7pm, things got weird. Firstly, there was more cheering. After the noise subsided, I could hear a lot of grunting and groaning, and eventually curiosity got the best of me. I grabbed a ladder and made my way up to the roof. Our houses are more diagonally lined up, so with a bit of height, I got a pretty clear view of Allen's backyard. It looked like they were performing feats of strength. Some of them began picking up landscaping rocks the size of watermelons, followed by each taking a turn throwing theirs across the yard as far as possible. The best throw was about 15 feet, which was really far for a rock that I would guess weighs around 200 pounds. In the winter, Kylie, all five foot two and 120 pounds of her. After that, some of the men locked arms and legs, building upon each other for some kind of creation. Bodies twisted and contorted, eventually taking the shape of a wheel, complete with human spokes. One of the women gave them a push and off they went, rolling across the yard. It was an impressive feat of strength and flexibility and just a touch unsettling. The wheel made it back around the yard and several more of the men stood on other shoulders on both sides of the wheel, eventually revealing themselves to be posed. The entire contraption together became a freaky ferris wheel. Someone gave it a push and off it went, slowly rotating on an axis made of the backs of their brethren. That was both mesmerizing and freaky. But a big group of the women, however, really pushed the envelope. The men began to chant, do it, do it. It took a few minutes for it all to come together. But after everyone was in position, I was looking at all 20 of the women bent into impossible positions and exercising body control that would require the strength of a herd of elephants, arms bent backward, shoulders dislocated and twisted in ways that would paralyze any normal person. I felt bio rise in my throat, even viewing it from over 100 feet away. All the disgusting contortions came together and suddenly I was looking at a 10 foot tall spider with the entire body and eight legs made out of people who should have been dead from their positioning alone. And it wasn't unstable. It wasn't about to collapse like one of those shitty popsicle stick houses we made in kindergarten. Had it not been so terrifying, it would have been nothing short of magnificent. And then that spider walked and then it ran. Their bodies were in perfect harmony as it ran across the backyard. More chanting, spider, spider, spider. Continuing to run with absolute accuracy, they began to emit a clicking sound that I can only describe as how a spider sounds in a movie. My skin was crawling at this point. Then, as if the situation couldn't get any more bizarre and terrifying, I watched as that human spider crawled right back up the back wall of Alan's three-story house and onto the roof. And when it stopped, I realized that before it crawled up the house, several of the men had jumped on and stacked themselves close on the front of the spider body. Their heads were packed tightly together and their eyes became the spider's eyes and they blinked in unison. Then it shifted a bit, the legs, the body and those eyes rotating around while a few dozen mouths emitted that sound. They were in a side-profile stance, facing off in the distance it stood.  This wasn't just funny or creepy anymore. It was downright scary.   Eventually everyone settled down and I didn't hear anything else until early morning when the daily cheering began again. I must admit, the spider really scared me. When I said those girls got into impossible positions, I was not exaggerating. I was looking at fully dislocated shoulders and hips, spines twisted up like paper clips and heads that twisted completely around. These were not normal people. This routine continued for the rest of the week.  All style wrestling without padding, duck duck goose and red rover with tackling, forming a human snake 50 feet long and slithering around the house for 45 straight minutes with everyone making a sound and flicking their tongues. Then every few minutes coiling up and striking at imaginary things. They did try to make their pitch to us once each day, becoming more persistent as the week progressed, but Karen always shooed them off. On their Friday afternoon visit, she even sprayed them with lavender oil. Tanner looked pissed about it too. As the days wore on though, I noticed the little yellow stickers eventually being removed and figured my weak minded neighbors were finally giving in and agreeing to the presentation.  Four days into this adventure, I noticed something. I'd never seen them eating, drinking or going into the house to use the bathroom. I did see twice a day they were given a shot glass worth of some kind of liquid which I presumed was whatever product they must be selling. Despite it all, the neighborhood was still running normally. People came and went, cars were washed and dogs were walked. Mrs.  Friday night, Karen and I were sipping some of our favorite craft beer on the porch when we noticed an abnormally large number of people heading down the street. I recognized some of the faces and others were foreign to me, but they all turned into Allen's driveway and formed a line that extended a ways down the street. I suddenly recalled something on Tanner and Kylie's pamphlet about being there on Friday at 10pm. A quick check of my watch confirmed that it was, in fact, 10pm. Now I was really interested to see what was going down. I moved from the porch to the living room to watch one of these quarantine MLB games which was almost as weird as watching the lifers do their thing. I kept a constant eye on the goings on at Allen's though and as the evening wore on the traffic really picked up. For hours I sat there watching neighbors get in line looking completely happy and relaxed. No doubt enjoying the scent of sugar cookies and eye candy the lifers provided, waiting their turn to go behind the gate. Several of the lifers looked to almost be standing guard there with more standing along the street in front of the house. All night long, the cycle was the same. Then goes through the gate on one side of the house followed by a few minutes of silence. Horrific screaming followed by the lifers clapping and cheering. Then the person shuffled out of the gate on the other side of the house and very slowly shuffled home by 2am. I couldn't stand it anymore. I had to get a look behind that house again even if it was a shitty angle. I was headed for the roof again. I grabbed my ladder and began my ascent. As I reached the top rung and my head cleared the roofline, I heard a voice coming from below accompanied by the very faint smell of sugar cookies. It was Tanner. Hey Brad, whatcha doing up there? He gave the ladder a little shake. I don't think it's safe to be up on the roof this late.  Kylie said Karen looks pretty lonely in the bed. They were watching Karen sleep. Now I was angry.   Tanner chuckled and said Brad, your neighbor, the chief of police, is in line at Allen's right this minute. You know that. And then he literally jumped straight up the 30 feet to my roof. Tanner crouched directly in front of me, grabbed my ladder and tipped me a foot back from the edge, literally holding my life in his right hand. His orange eyes glowed like two big fireflies in the darkness. Brad, everything's fine over there.  I nodded, scared shitless. My adrenaline surged again as I gripped that ladder with every ounce of strength I had. There was no exit plan here if he let me go. Okay, Tanner, I'll go back inside. Please please move my ladder back and let me climb down. And just like that, he returned the ladder to a safe angle, got in a high dive position and did a gainer off the roof, landing perfectly on his feet. When I stepped off, he was directly in my face. He did not smell like cookies and tied now. He smelled musty like an old museum. The glimmer in his skin came and went like static on a TV and his eyes no longer dazzled. He looked tired as if he'd used up every ounce of his normally boundless energy. That's the last thing I remember. I woke up on the couch around seven o'clock. My drool covered shirt was turned halfway around my torso and one of my socks was MIA. I felt absolutely awful. Every muscle ached to some degree and my feet felt like they were made of lead. I was completely exhausted and my back felt like it was on fire. I made it to the kitchen and tried to get my head together. Out of nowhere, I was suddenly ready to murder someone for some bacon or a sausage or a bagel or some Lay's potato chips or a big glass of seawater.  Actually, I guess he wouldn't, though. I practically dragged myself to the window to see what the lifers were up to. They were gone. I was startled as Karen emerged from the hallway, tripped and fell flat on her face, sending half a dozen essential oil vials flying across the room. I was too tired to even try to help her up. Growning, she pushed herself up on her elbows.  The last thing I remember is that Kylie girl standing beside my bed speaking in another language. There were bits of English mixed in there. She said something like, we are ancient, older than death himself, and then something about cows and pigs no longer being sufficient. I looked at her like she had three eyes. Not only was I in tremendous pain, I was feeling a little combative. Karen, are you drunk? Did you put too much lemongrass and Lang Lang in your tea again last night? When Karen is pissed, her voice gets really nasal and her A's are literally enough to bust your drums.  No, Brad. She said it.  Karen had managed to stand again, but doubled over in pain and hit the floor once more.  Why does my back hurt so bad? I looked down at her exposed back. It was swollen and red, and she had a tiny hole or needle mark just above each kidney. I had the same.   Karen, look at these holes in my back. What's in that spot? She had spent a few years in nursing school back in the day before quitting to sell door-to-door cosmetics, and God only knows what other flavor of the weak MLMs that came about. She thought about it for a moment. I think it's the adrenal gland. What the… did they steal our adrenaline? I helped Karen to her feet. We plopped ourselves down at the kitchen table, and I blacked out. Three hours later, I woke up. My cheeks smashed down on the table.  Karen was on the floor, blocking the doorway threshold and mumbling something in her sleep about not needing a receipt. Peeking out from under the edge of her robe was what was left of the block of feta. I shuffled my way to the bathroom, stripped off my disheveled and urine-stained clothes, and let a hot shower take me away to paradise. God, I was thirsty. Karen says the chlorine and fluoride in city water is bad for me, but I didn't care. I drank it right out of the faucet. After getting cleaned up, I stepped out on the patio for some fresh air. Many of the neighbors were out and about, moving like they were 100 years old but trying to do the normal stuff, taking walks, washing cars, etc. I gingerly made my way next door to speak with my buddy Mike. He'd been out of town most of the week, but I saw him in line last night. I caught up to him as he was checking his mail. Yo, Mike, how's it going? He looked terrible.   I haven't felt this bad since I got completely plastered at your Superbowl party. I vividly remembered that event. Mike, the 50-year-old accountant, attempted a backflip on a dare and landed on his face. I looked at him quizzically. You mean you don't remember being at Allen's, going behind the fence for the ZipLife product demonstration. He closed the mailbox and looked back up at me. The what? ZipPoo? I haven't spoken with Allen in months.  I wish I'd been here to see it.  He turned and raised his shirt, and sure enough, the same swelling and holes in his back. I told him what I suspected had happened to us, but he had absolutely no recollection of the lifers ever having set foot in saddle downs. I was too tired to press the issue, and Mike didn't seem to care about the holes in his back. It's like his memory, and even his sense of self-preservation was just absent. I ended the conversation and made my way a couple houses down, intercepting a lady named Sandra as she very slowly made her way through the morning walk she's taken every single day for 23 years. We had the same conversation. She had the same marks, and like Mike had no memory of the night before. I tried several others and got more of the same. Finally I headed for Allen's house, banging hard on the door. When he answered, it was clear that I'd woken him up. He was wearing nothing but a pair of old, very undersized boxers. Uh, hey Brad, what's up?   He looked completely confused. What?  Who? I roared with every ounce of strength I had left. The zip life people, Allen. They jacked everyone up. We all have holes above our kidneys, and no one knows why. I'm the only one that even remembers them being here. All of the sudden, it was like the light bulb went off.  I exhaled sharply, relieved that someone could finally shed some light on all this. Allen jumped through the door, darting back and forth across the porch, giving evil stares to everyone he could see. As he flew by me for the third time, I caught a look at his shirtless back.   I wasn't going to get my answer, because I knew what the next words out of his mouth would be. Wild eyed and practically foaming at the mouth with rage, he said.  Hey everyone, remember to like and subscribe if you enjoyed this story, and a special thank you to HGTV Neighbor for another awesome story. Make sure to go check out more of the author's work. If you'd like to support me further, there's a link to my Patreon in the description. And remember, if a giant human spider starts running around in your neighborhood, it's probably time to sell your house.


Amen. So you're wondering right away this evening. We're studying Joshua chapter 19. That hasn't changed Why didn't the world that we just read Genesis chapter 30? And the reason for it is because we're still going to study Joshua chapter 19 But I didn't have the heart inside me to make brother Ryan read Joshua chapter 19 Again and again and again because we're going to be there for the next three weeks or so And plus I wanted it to be as edifying as possible. We're continuing to just study through the tribes of Israel in Joshua the chapters in Joshua that kind of lay out the inheritance of Israel turn to Joshua chapter 19 if you would we're going to start in verse number 10 and If you're wondering if you ever wondered about that story in Genesis 30 where Jacob put the poplars and the rods and all that stuff You ever wonder well Let me just explain that from a from a livestock from a cattleman's perspective real quick before we get started with The sermon basically what he was doing was all the speckled in the certain type of of sheep Were to be his so what he did was when those type of sheep or what they called the strong ones At the end of the chapter came to drink He put something in the water that want that made them want to breed basically so he's sitting there He's controlling their breeding cycles. So as soon as the ones that he knew would be his Would go to the water. He would put something in there that would make them breed and then thus after You know time all you would have all spotted and speckled cattle, you know if you have You know genetics are a funny thing But basically you have better odds of getting a speckled lamb if you have a speckled mom and a speckled dad You can still get a white lamb or or a brown or a solid colored lamb, but it's more likely than not So that's what he was doing there. He was just he was selective. He was selective breeding is what he was doing So selective breeding in the Bible. All right cattle ranchers and and registered People raising red registered cattle and brother Trevor knows what I'm talking about registered cattle registered livestock They do this all the time they measure traits of animals and they they breed certain animals with certain animals to get certain traits And they measure those traits and they make sure that they they breed With the right animals and then they end up with a very strong Crop or a very strong herd or flock or whatever my wife's dad was one of the Very well-known Black Angus cattle rancher in Western North Dakota and he was just known to have Some of the best cattle in the state and the reason he did that it wasn't an accident It's not like all you know I just have nice looking cattle it's because he was very good at this and he was very good at what Jacob was doing here He's very good at seeing traits of animals and judging animals and making sure certain animals breed with With higher quality animals as well. That's exactly what Jacob was doing Here. Okay, Joshua chapter 19. Let's look at verse number 10 and get into the sermon We're gonna be talking about the tribe of zebulin this evening now these tribes that we're gonna be talking about in the next couple of weeks They're kind of like what I call just the obscure Or you know, you just don't we haven't really heard much about them But we can still learn things about these tribes in the Bible So let's go ahead and look at it this evening look at verse number 10 The Bible says and the third lot came up for the children of zebulin According to their families and the border of their inheritance Wasn't a sered and their border went up to the sea to Mariah and reach to Dabasheth and reach onto the river that is before Jockneum so basically zebulin if you look at where Judah is in the southern kingdom So we you know when we break up the kingdoms We have the northern kingdom and the southern kingdom later on and then of course the ten tribes are What is made up of the northern kingdom and zebulin is one of these ten tribes and zebulin kind of just gets Holded into the ten tribes, but if you look at a map of the twelve tribes of Israel Zebulon is to the northwest of Judah and it's a small kind of obscure Little tribe that is next to is very close to the coast and you'll see that when we read Some of these things from the Bible go to Genesis chapter 49 and let's look at Jacob's Prophecy or Jacob's blessing towards his son zebulin we saw simian last week was quite an interesting story We went through that let's look at zebulin starting in the same place in Genesis chapter 49 Jacob's Prophecy or Jacob's blessing towards zebulon is in verse number 13 where the Bible says this it says zebulin Shall dwell at the haven of the sea just making reference to the location that zebulin is it's next to the sea to the northwest of Judah and he shall be for an haven of ships and his border shall be on To Zion as I done so that doesn't tell us a lot there There's not a lot that Jacob is really saying about zebulin other than the fact that he's going to be by the sea But here's something that we do know turn to judges chapter 1 turn to judges chapter 1 and Judges chapter 1 in verse number 30 that we're going to read here will kind of tell us why Zebulin is kind of just gonna you know, we haven't heard much about it. It's kind of obscure It kind of just Went to the wayside as far as the history books are concerned or as far as the Bible history is concerned Look at judges chapter 1 in verse number 30 zebulin was one of the tribes that made this dire mistake Look at verse number 30. It says neither did zebulin Drive out the inhabitants of Ketron nor the inhabitants of Nahalo But the Canaanites dwelt among them and became tributary. So these this is one of the tribes This is one of the northern most tribes that just they didn't and especially towards the coast the Canaanites This is where the Philistines were they never really totally conquered the land They kind of got to the end of the battling in in the book of Joshua And they're just kind of they started setting people into tributaries and I can about imagine somebody thought it was a pretty good deal Somebody thought this was a pretty good idea. Hey, why destroy all these people? We can just have them work for us We can have them pay taxes and we can take that from them So zebulin is one of the one of the tribes that made that mistake They did not utterly destroy the people and this is why by the way because there were so many tribes in the northern kingdom This is one of the reasons that the northern kingdom was destroyed, you know Some hundred and sixty years before the southern kingdom of Judah So right away we see that they started off on the wrong foot zebulin did they ended up folded Of course into the northern kingdom to turn to Deuteronomy chapter 33. Here's some interesting We'll just look at some interesting. Maybe this will come up in a Bible trivia Game the kids are playing or something I actually think I heard the Bible trivia game going on last week And I think one of the questions if I heard right was this guy died on the cross Was that really a question in the Bible trivia game? I mean because I think that Bible trivia is is pretty dumb down if that's the case right this guy died on the cross That's pretty bad when that's that's considered a trivia question that most people wouldn't know But I suppose most people don't know that anymore But anyway Deuteronomy chapter 33 look at verse 18 and of zebulin He said rejoice zebulin in thy going out and it's a car in thy tents. It's a car as a neighboring Tribe they shall call the people unto the mountain there They shall offer sacrifices of righteousness for they shall suck of the abundance of the seas That's interesting and of the treasures hid in the sands So that's an interesting point right there that zebulin because it's close to the sea They're being blessed like probably economically here from the seas There's easy commerce close to the coast and they're talking about you know the the coast itself being an economic, you know Blessing so to speak to zebulin because of their location now turn to Isaiah chapter 9 Turn to Isaiah chapter 9 So here we see that you know we know the location of zebulin We know that they didn't overcome and to totally destroy utterly destroy the people that they That they took over the land from and we see that they're they're blessed at least right away in Deuteronomy chapter 33 They're blessed because of the abundance of the seas Maybe there's there's fish and commerce and and ships from other places that come in From the sea turn to Isaiah chapter 9. So here in Isaiah chapter 9 verses 1 The first few verses of Isaiah chapter 9 is talking about the Messiah. It's a messianic prophecy in Isaiah. Look at verse number 1 Look what the Bible says nevertheless the dimmest not shall shall not be as was in her vexation When at the first lightly afflicted the land of zebulin and the land of nethali and afterward did more grievously Afflict her by the way of the sea Beyond Jordan in Galilee of the nation. So here we see that zebulin and these places next to the sea Now this blessing has suddenly not it's not a blessing anymore. It says that they are Grievously Afflicted how by the way of the sea so here we see the same way that was a blessing in the past is Now a curse to them so it's interesting to note here just to kind of a lesson is that you know blessings can easily become curses In your life I mean these people were blessed from a certain place and you know once they turn from the Lord once all these things You know they let go of God and they let go they forgot the Lord, you know that became a curse to them And that's exactly what will happen to us. That's exactly what will happen to our nation That's exactly what happened to the nation of Israel again and again and again in the Bible We now look at verse I look at the end of verse number one and it says beyond Jordan in Galilee of the nations look at verse number two The people that walked in darkness have seen a great light now We're talking about the prophecy of Jesus Christ They that dwell in the land of the shadow of death upon them hath the light shine so look at the the first the last four words of This first verse it says Galilee and that's interesting because zebulun Galilee is inside of zebulun So what came out of Galilee turned to John chapter 2 John chapter 2 So verse number 2 is saying that these people that walked in God in darkness. They're now cursed They're they're now cursed from the same sea that bless them and they're in darkness now It's but they're gonna see a great light And of course we see the messianic prophecy of Jesus Christ in the coming verses in Isaiah chapter 9 But look what happened in Galilee turn to John chapter 2. Here's your Bible trivia for you right here Where did Jesus begin his ministry? John chapter 2 and verse number 1 in the third day There was a marriage in Cana of Galilee and the mother of Jesus was there the first miracle that Jesus ever did the water Into wine happened in Galilee. That's where Jesus began his ministry in the land of zebulun so For the most part zebulun is kind of this tribe. They just kind of faded into obscurity They kind of got folded they kind of went they didn't do things right from the beginning They kind of got folded into the the northern kingdom and we know that that the northern 10 tribes They were just wiped off the face of the earth the Assyrians took them and just mixed with them And you know you can't find the 10 tribes of you know of Israel anymore But let's look a little bit deeper who was zebulun and that brings us back to Genesis chapter 30 I want to look at really what I want to look at that was all just for Introduction I want to look at who the man zebulun was what is the story of zebulun that brings us back to Genesis chapter 30 So turn there if you would and look at Genesis chapter 30 and verse number 19 now First of all before we get into Genesis chapter 30 and verse number 19 and 20 talking about zebulun Genesis chapter 30 is a very sad chapter in the Bible if you read Genesis chapter 30 Especially the first part of the chapter and you just read you know There's a reason that Jacob got to the end of his life and he said you know what? You know if my days have been short and they've been evil, you know It's just they haven't he hasn't had a good life, you know Genesis chapter 30 is giving us you know kind of a frame of Jacob's family life and what a mess what a mess it is look at Genesis chapter 30 and verse number 19 Let's look at the story of zebulun and see what the Bible says here and Leah conceived again and bear Jacob the sixth Son and Leah said so this is the sixth Son that she has given Jacob and Leah said God hath endued me with a good dowry now Will my husband dwell with me because I have born him six sons And she called his name Zebulun so zebulun was Leah's six sons Jacob of course had four wives that produced the twelve tribes of Israel the twelve sons and Leah was One of those wives and she was the wife who was always You know kind of competing with Rachel to have the affection of her husband and you see that here Rachel was the one who was barren at the beginning of the chapter and she couldn't give you know Her husband a child and she was very sad But she was the favorite of Jacob and Leah was always just you know She was yearning for the affection of her husband. So here we see multiple wives Competing for the favoritism of their husband. It's really kind of a sad situation in Genesis chapter 30 But you know we've talked about favoritism in the Bible as far as children goes, you know many times in this church I preach sermons on that I've talked about how we are not to do that, but you know, what about this situation? What about favoritism with wives, you know, I mean we all don't have that problem here because if you're married you have one wife, but That's really what I want to address this evening I want to address this idea of multiple wives in the Old Testament because many people are Frankly very confused about this many people read the Old Testament and they're very confused about this idea of men Having multiple wives in the Old Testament. So let's talk about polygamy in light of the Bible in light of the Bible this evening You know, first of all, it appears it appears at first reading and this is why people will ask so many questions to their pastor I've had people ask me several questions about this. It appears and it's not altogether untrue That God allowed this That God allowed men to have Multiple wives in the Bible. I mean look he certainly didn't kill people for it It's not like you married your second wife and God just killed you That's not what happened in the Old Testament But I want to explain to you this evening that God might well He might not have just struck someone dead at that moment for having multiple wives I want to show you this evening that God did warn about it God did warn about it and not only did he warn about not doing it But he warned that a specific judgment would come from it From having multiple wives. So I'll be it. It's a it's a indirect Judgment, but still it's judgment all the same and we'll look at that this evening So first before we get into this study this evening Let me just say that that that you have to understand here's a Bible reading tip for you You have to understand in the Bible when you're reading the Bible particularly the Old Testament where there's a lot of historical events and things that are things that are listed I mean just history that actually here's what happened to the nation of Israel Here's what happened with these tribes. They're historical books of the Bible stories in the Bible are not doctrine You have to remember that we study through Judges there's a lot of absolutely terrible things that happen in the book of judges and people are like how could this be in the Bible? How could this be in the Bible these terrible things that are happening these people doing these terrible things? But first of all you have to understand that stories that historical books of the Bible. They're not doctrine Turn to judges chapter 21 judges chapter 21 Judges chapter 21 and look at verse 25 judges chapter 21 and verse 25 after all these horrible stories that we read about in Judges here's what the Bible says in judges chapter 21 And I'm glad that this verse is here because although we know if you're a mature Bible You know person you know what I'm telling you is true This is kind of a comfort rate here in judges chapter 21 verse 25 because look there's many cases in the book of judges Where every single person on every side of the story was doing the wrong thing? Yes, there was tons of wicked people and Sodomites and all these things in the stories in judges 19 But there's also these guys that are like hey take my daughter Trying to save themselves save their friends just look everybody was wrong There's many people that were doing wrong things in judges chapter 21 25 We kind of get this sigh of relief where it says in those days There was no king in Israel and every man did that was right in his own eyes It's kind of prepping us for the first king and prepping us for this nation that comes out and says hey You know this is out of control. We need a leader. We need a king here You know they were they just weren't listening to God who was in charge and they should have kept in charge But everybody's just doing what they thought was right. I mean sound familiar But the point I'm trying to make is this before we get into this study Just because we have a story in the Bible does not mean that that's the way we are to do things Okay, be careful with this stories must be coupled with doctrine You see a lot of young preachers making this mistake They'll just want to preach something and they'll have an idea and then they will go pick a story out of the Bible that Backs up their idea and it's like no you must have doctrine and Story to prove what the Bible actually says because I mean quite frankly I mean most stories in the Old Testament where people doing the wrong thing Let's get I mean let's be realistic about it people weren't really doing the right thing So people need to use Bible, you know people can't just use Bible stories to justify doctrine. Okay, so that being said What does the Bible say about having multiple wives in Genesis chapter 30? We see this story It's not a great story, but here's some Bible doctrine for you turn to 1st Timothy chapter 3 1st Timothy chapter 3 Now again 1st Timothy chapter 3 and the verses that I'm going to read for you We're talking about the qualifications of a pastor But many times I've told you this before the qualifications of a pastor are all things that are also good for you The only difference between the qualifications of a pastor between you and me is that if you do the things or you Don't do the things that are the qualifications listed in 1st Timothy chapter 3 Then you have to confess that to God and you have to work on that You have to get that that right and get that better if I don't do these things I'm not qualified to have this job is what the Bible says But let's look at it The Bible says 1st Timothy chapter 3 look at verse number 2 a bishop then must be blameless Then it says the husband of one wife Then it goes into many other things vigilance sober of good behavior given to hospitality all good things all good things that every Christian should be and one of those things listed is the husband of one wife turn to Deuteronomy chapter 17 Deuteronomy chapter 17 Deuteronomy chapter 17 is giving commands to kings It's talking about what a king should be like what the leader of a nation should be like look at Deuteronomy chapter 17 and verse number 15 Deuteronomy chapter 17 and verse number 15 again this is this is God speaking. This is doctrine here This is not a Bible story. This is a command. This is what the Bible says that is to happen period Deuteronomy 1715 thou shalt in any wise Set him a king over thee whom the Lord thy God shall choose one from among thy brethren Shalt shalt thou set a king over thee thou may us not set a stranger over thee which is not thy brother saying Hey when you're gonna pick a leader of your nation don't go find some heathen Don't go find some heathen that doesn't even believe in the Lord to rule over you That's a pretty simple one right there. It says but he shall not multiply horses to himself Nor cause the people to return to Egypt to the end that he should multiply horses for as much as the Lord had said Under you he shall henceforth henceforth return no more that way He's saying hey, he should keep you where you're supposed to be look at verse number 17 Neither shall he multiply wives to himself. So the horses he's saying hey Don't have this guy that's just going and trying to get everybody means of transportation to get out of this land That you're supposed to be in says neither and then he goes into another reason neither shall he multiply wives to himself Why why shouldn't he multiply wives to himself and the Bible tells us that his heart turned not away Neither shall he greatly multiply to himself silver and gold so verse number 17 is talking about a command to a king to keep his heart right get that It's all about verse number verse number 16 is is pragmatism that you need to stay put you need to stay where God has you stay where God wants you verse number 17 is about the king's heart going bad and It's talking about two things could do that money can make your heart go bad and Multiple wives and you're like what well. Let's let's look. Let's look at that this evening in the Bible Look at Genesis chapter 2.    It's not marriage Marriage is when a man marries a woman. That's marriage You know, I can stand up here and say that I'm an elephant with polka dots, but that doesn't make it true Man, look, that's where Christians went wrong 20 years ago Like the debate over homosexual marriage. Should it be legal? Should it be legal to for homosexuals to get married? Well, what do you mean? It's not even real. I reject the question. I Reject the question. I'm not taking the poll should have been the answer All right, but see it the devil's tricky The devil's tricky go to Genesis chapter 2 look at verse 23 Genesis chapter 2 and verse number 23 and Adam said this is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh She shall be called woman because she was taken out of man Therefore shall a man leave his father and mother and shall cleave unto his wife One and they shall be One flesh look one flesh not for Not seven hundred, you know, not this polygamy was never God's plan It was never God's plan polygamy Multiple wives. This was man's plan This is what man did and we know and I'll show you this evening when we diverge From God's plan when you diverge from any part of God's plan in your life If you stand I stand up here and I preach some sermon on X Y and Z and you're like, you know what man? It's like I like what you preach the last five sermons and I liked what the Bible said there but that one I'm not doing go ahead and diverge and And I don't have to do anything about that because look when you diverge from God's plan. It's all gonna go wrong for you So one thing that you notice in the Bible is that men that have multiple wives you find me one men that had multiple wives had nothing but conflict in Their lives it look it was never it was never a romantic relationship It was never a good relationship. I mean look look at Genesis 30. This is a terrible situation I mean you literally have this woman who is just like she is just torn down to pieces She has literally given her husband six sons and she's like maybe he'll love me now It's sad. I mean look but here is basically these men they were following the lusts of the flesh and they were Sacrificing a loving relationship with a woman. That's what they were doing look turn to song of Solomon chapter one in Solomon in Solomon's life. We can see this Directly we can see both sides of this coin you can see it in the Bible It's documented in the Bible with David and Solomon. I'll show you both of those this evening But Solomon's is the most in your face. Just Man, this is what he gave up right here So song of Solomon documents the relationship between Solomon and his first wife and His first wife and if you read let's just read just a couple verses. Look at song of Solomon chapter 1 and verse number 9 In song of Solomon it's basically this letter being written back and forth between These two between the king and his wife Look at verse number 9. I have compared the oh my love to a company of horses and pharaoh's chariots Pharaoh's daughter is who she was. Thy cheeks are comely with rows of jewels thy neck and chains of gold We will make thee borders of gold and studs of silver while the king sit at his table my spike Narts send us forth the smell thereof a bundle of myrrh is well-beloved unto me He shall lie at my night betwixt betwixt my breasts. This is her speaking to him My beloved is under unto me as a cluster of campfire and the vineyards of eggnettie Behold thou art fair my love now. He's talking to her. Behold thou art fair thou has dove's eyes Behold thou art fair my beloved. Ye pleasant are also our bed is green the beams of our house are cedar and our rafters of fur I mean look it's embarrassing to read this you read this and you're just like you feel like you're reading some Intimate letter between some man that he's just and his wife and you're just like man I've opened up someone's diary and I shouldn't be reading this But I mean that's why God puts it in here the book continues and following chapters is just ridiculously over the top Between these two. I mean it's very loving very intimate almost embarrassing to read out loud Now turn to Ecclesiastes chapter 7. Let's look at the end of Solomon's life Ecclesiastes chapter 7 so I mean basically Solomon when he married this woman He married Pharaoh's daughter. It was just this huge Romantic relationship. They were totally in love with each other the story at the book of song of song of Solomon is like no I love you. It's like no, I love you more and I love you Like stop it You're just like I shouldn't be reading this But look it's just this huge love story between these two Well then look at Ecclesiastes chapter 7 Ecclesiastes chapter 7 also written by Solomon, but at the end of his life Ecclesiastes chapter 7 look at verse 28 But what the Bible says it says which yet my soul seeketh Solomon is saying I'm still looking for this But I find not He's like I'm still looking for this, but I can't find it It says one one man among a thousand have I found he's like one good friend one good man among a thousand good men He's like I've found that needle in the haystack.  You're like what in the world what happened? What happened turned to first Kings chapter 11? I'll show you what happened You're like you're like he had it. You're like he had it. We just read it What is he talking about one one woman? I can't find he's like I can find a good man If I go through a thousand men, I'll find a good one He's like I can't find a good woman I can't find a good woman look at first Kings chapter 11 look at verse number one first Kings chapter 11 verse number one And here's where it all went bad that caused him to write Ecclesiastes chapter 7 at the end of his life But King Solomon loved many strange women together With the daughter of Pharaoh Women of the Moabites Ammonites Edomites Zidonians and Hittites of the nations by the way of nations He weren't even supposed to marry women from these heathen nations of the nations concerning which the Lord said unto the children of Israel He shall not go in unto them neither they shall come in unto you for surely they will turn away your what? your heart after their gods Solomon clave unto these in love and he had seven hundred wives Princesses and three hundred concubines which is all you know It's like a wife who's a who's a handmade or a servant and his wives What what did they do? What did his wives do they turned away his heart? I mean that's what the Bible told us that was going to happen and that's exactly what happened to Solomon I mean it sounds familiar. They turn turned his heart away from what I mean mainly they turned his heart away from the Lord is Especially these heathen women, but also clearly if you read Ecclesiastes chapter 7 They clearly turned his heart away from his wife and guess what I can guarantee you that it turned his wife's heart away from him as Well, I mean just think just think of this pragmatically Think of this pragmatically. Could you really have a close relation all you married guys? Could you really have a close relationship with your wife if there was multiple other women involved? No, of course, of course you couldn't I mean 700 300 more. I mean it's crazy It's crazy. Look at David and Michael David and Michael David in 1st Samuel chapter 18. We won't turn there I'll just tell you the story in 1st Samuel chapter 18. The Bible says that Michael loved David It says Michael loved David.  Saul hated David. He was jealous of David He was he wanted David dead so he tells you want to marry my daughter go go kill 100 Philistines David's like, okay, he kills 200 And he brings you know the trophies back and he marries his daughter But then in 2nd Samuel chapter 6 David has married so many other women and he has just you know He has gotten it his marriage to the point where it says Michael literally despised him It says she literally despised him So you say you know you say okay, I see I see what you're getting at You know, but why why preach this, you know, why preach this is not like you know, we're struggling with this today I mean even in America with all of our problems, you know You don't see polygamy everywhere So what's the point? You know, we don't seem with all of our issues that we have and all of our perversions that we have We don't seem to have this problem, but yes, we do And you're like what? Look, here's what we know from the Bible We know from the Bible when when it when the right thing is not done that there are severe Consequences in this case that your heart is turned from the Lord that your heart is turned from Your wife and hers look it hers is turned from you I can't imagine something worse like on earth happening to me than my wife's heart being turned from me I mean what a severe thing that would be look and look you look at You'll get Genesis chapter 30 It's causes of wife the wife a lot of pain You can just literally hear the pain and I mean think about that as a person when you're reading those verses And just imagine the emotional pain that this woman has I just want my husband to want to be with me And this woman thinks maybe if I just gave him one more son one more son I mean, it's it's it's a sad terrible thing. I mean look what she says Goddoth and dude me with a good dowry Now will my husband dwell with me because I have born him six sons And she called his name Zebulon so There's real consequences here And you say, you know, why did they do it and how does it apply to me? Well, here's why they did it They did it to fulfill the lust of the flesh That's why they did it. I hate to break it to you, but that's why they did it You can't say they did it so for more children.  That's not why they did it You can clearly cannot be a he didn't do it to be a parent to hundreds of children But here's the thing it does apply to us. You say how you say how because men today seem to have a problem with fulfilling the lust of the flesh Men today do the same thing Married men today do the same thing married men Christian men do the same thing and they may not have Physical relationships, but guess what what you are looking at The Bible says does it's the same thing look at Matthew chapter 5 and verse number 28 It's almost like it's almost like Jesus knew the future You think it's almost like Jesus knew what was gonna happen Matthew 5 Verse number 28 Matthew 5 verse 20 number 28, but I say unto you That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her have committed adultery with her already in his heart notice here Notice here. It's it's a heart issue again We're talking about the same thing We're talking about the same thing that Solomon did look on both sides with the husband and the wife We saw that in the Bible The heart issue will be the same as with Solomon the same as with David and you say, you know Well, well God bless it.  These statistics are getting worse They're getting worse 66% of men today regularly look at pornography 66% and guess what when you look at 18 to 24 year old men. It's 70 71 72 percent It's going like this Look, let me do the math for you on that that means that if you have a young man between 18 and 24 And we're just randomly, you know gonna grab one you have a you have double the chances of Grabbing one that regularly looks at pornography And the scary thing is is that when you look amongst and I understand that Christian in these polls What a Christian man is is not is all messed up. I get that but there's really no significant statistical difference That's pitiful Look, here's the thing How is that different than having multiple women that you're in relationships with I? Mean, I bet I wonder if the wives in the room tonight would think it's different. I Wonder if the wives I mean, I mean how many wives in the room tonight wouldn't care If that's what their husband did on a regular basis and even if they said I wouldn't care I wouldn't believe them. I bet most would view this exactly as Leah views her life Think about that think about that man.  Why am I not good enough? What is wrong with me? What is wrong with me that he needs to seek out wide? What do I have to do to get my husband to love me? This is what you're turning your wife into And guess what guess what the consequences will be the same Even if you think no one knows The consequences will be the same You can ruin the biggest blessing that God has provided for you on this earth Folks you better think about this when you're raising kids, too How many how many I mean I brought an example with me, and I can't remember what I did with it Okay, here we go. I've never bring this up here, but How many devices you have in your house that are connected to the internet? If you allow your children to ever be on a device that is connected to the internet Please listen to me carefully if you allow your children to ever be on a device that is connected to the internet Without proper supervision.  Why not just shoot them up with heroin? You're like I'm serious Shoot them up with heroin You need to have monitoring programs and then you need to be monitoring the monitoring programs You can't just put a monitoring program on something and just forget about it You know how smart kids are today You got to monitor the monitoring programs look when I looked up the stats for this sermon I got to tell my wife.    I mean look we're supposed to do things different. We're supposed to be smarter We're supposed to have what's this word? We're supposed to have wisdom Same problems exist today folks just in different forms We have to protect these kids from these things and this takes Effort here's another thing you can do a lot of you are sitting here in the room tonight You're like you know my kids are young. I don't worry about this my kids are one two three four years old They're not on the internet. Here's another thing you can do You can teach them to I don't know not fulfill every lust of the flesh that comes in front of them You can like here's something that that's some people in this church Just it seems impossible for them to do you can say no to your kids. I Want that no, you know how many how many times should I say no to them several times a day? because kids in their natural state are like I want that Give it to me and it takes you stopping them. It takes you. I mean that's what what? Parents that's what they're for You will raise and you think it's no big deal. You say it's no big deal. It's a cookie. It's no big deal It's a toy. It's no big deal.  These problems will get more and more serious You say man, this is pretty this sermon took a turn for the For the depressing every single time I have to preach on this. It's depressing Because the numbers are getting worse and worse all the time and I'm just like how could that be?  It's like look. I'm a problem solver.  You got a problem.  They're gonna be worse Than you Pulling me in the Bible. We see that it just it ruins relationships. It ruins relationships. The same thing can happen to us today Through this stuff.   It's way worse than you think It's way worse than you think it's like I mean I'm talking demons I'm talking. I'm talking Satan himself Is running this show and I'll prove it to you and I'll prove it to you it's been going on for 30 40 years and it's Man the game's almost complete the way I see it.  It's so dangerous. They just just let them play with a loaded gun This is what we're talking about here. This is how serious it is Lessons from Zebulin and not how not to have a Genesis 30 Family let's borrow heads and have a word of prayer