cledus t judd
ricky tidwell s mama is gonna play football
Uh, Ricky Tidwell was a great athlete He was a big strong boy that was quick on his feet And every college in the country wanted Ricky blocking on their line But when the scouts came knocking on Ricky's door They didn't want to talk to young Rick no more When they saw his mama she's the one they wanted to sign She was a real bold woman raised on a farm Had Bear Bryant tattooed on her forearm She was meaner than heck ran the 40 in 4.3 Well she could squat 600 bench press 5 The hands down meanest homemaker alive Got a scholarship playing linebacker in the SEC Ricky Tidwell's mama is gonna play football Her real name's Doris but they're gonna call her Too Tall She's got shoulders and a hind end four foot wide Going to college on a full ride Mrs. Tidwell's wouldn't play in the NC-double-A She would wash all her team mates uniforms Tucked everybody in in the football dorms Cooked the game meal, say the Lord's prayer You're missing a jockstrap? She's got a spare Crawled in the huddle, and called all the plays The only one tough enough to go both ways Yeah, her mouth full of mud, scoured up knees Cussing out the coaches and the referees Ricky Tidwell's mama's gonna play football Her real name's Doris Everybody calls her Too Tall They say she's a fine young man but she's really not She's the master of the cheap shot And on the triple option play she'd ruin your day She led the team in tackles and the league in sacks Responsible for killing nine running backs But the school's reputation was destroyed They accused Ricky's mama of steroids (I thought that woman was awful stout) Oh Ricky Tidwell's mama's on probation Well the college has started an investigation They wouldn't leave poor Ricky Tidwell's mama alone Said she'd been takin' male hormones Mrs. Tidwell's gonna do well In the NFL Ricky Tidwell's mama (15 yard penalty, illegal use of a clothesline) Ricky Tidwell's mama (Can I have your autograph ma'am) Ricky Tidwell's mama (Or is that sir) Ricky Tidwell's mama