the beautiful south
your father and i
It was the middle of winter And I drove us in my car The snow started falling So we stopped off at a bar  The beer started flowing And your mother and I took the floor But by the last dance we were tired So I booked a room next door  So if anyone asks you If you come from Heaven above You're from a one star hotel With a five star passionate love  It was a hot summers day And we drove there in our car And your father was thirsty So we had to find a bar  Well he couldn't stop drinking And he couldn't stand on his feet We had to walk to a hotel And book ourselves into a suite  So if the teacher asks you Are you from Heaven or are you from Hell You're from a one star drunken screw In a one star motel Yes if the teacher asks you Are you from Heaven or are you from Hell You're from a pitch black toilet In a highway Taco Bell  I'll remember the birth For the rest of my time on this land You're mother sweating buckets And me holding onto her hand  Well your father was absent He claimed he couldn't find the ward Just tugging on mescal Trying to eat the umbilical cord  So if anyone asks you Do you know where you're from, say yes You're from your mother's womb And your father's stinking breath And if they ask you how you got here Tell them just what it took Your father's stinking breath And your mother's stinking luck  Your father and I won't tell the whole truth Your father and I won't tell the truth