the damned
burglar
Here we go now!  I'm a villain, I'm a rogue I'll nick your wallet or garden gnome I'm a burglar, I'm a cad An open window, I'm in your home   I'll have your tools or kiddies toys And I'm not safe - a joy of joys I'll be the gas man or a toad I'll have your telly or garden hose   While I'm scoping in the dark I'll strap your dog so he won't bark I won't disturb your only dreams But if you wake up, there's no screams   I'll nick anything removable From the QE2 to the toilet paper in the houses of parliament I'll even have the milk off your doorstep Or the skin off a baby seal's back   'Cause I'm a real villain (played backwards)  I'll steal the paper or the milk Or warn your neighbor's or the bill I'm a stealer, I'm a crook Read about me in Mich's book   Burglary is a life for me Burglary is a life for me People say that crime don't pay I drink champagne every day   And the good Lord said "thou shall not steal" There is only one path and that is the straight and narrow It's a bit too bleeding straight and a bit too narrow for my liking   Okay, gov, it's a fair cop Throw on the bracelets Chink, chink, oh god, I'm nicked   I sentence you to six months Take him away