john reuben
5 years to write
This vulnerability is killing me internally Not feeling much stability and I wish it could be easy But it don't seem to be and so  I'm going to take it to the only place that I know to go And lay these feelings in the hand of the creator God of creation you show me how to relate to her Mean while, I'm thanking you for lessons being learned See my feelings have been shallow but I've watched my heart turn Yes, she looks good, yes she looks fly  But deep down I know there's something more inside Just like I'm praying that there's more in me So when I look at she I just don't see naturally Not saying physically, that I'll deny the attraction But all in all that's just a simple satisfaction That can be obtained through a glance of the eye This was five years ago, man how time flies by Beautiful soul full of spirit I wonder if she'd hear it if I told her that she had a Beautiful soul full of spirit A few year later  Her mind intrigues me It leaves me sort of sick Wondering what makes the mystery chic tick, history thick of pages and pages Telling stories that can't be summed up in quick phrases She's observant so she's seen my behavior It's got me nervous wanting to stay away from her I pray for her daily as well as perspective,  Battling with pride and thoughts of being rejected and that's just not appealing It's almost enough to make you disconnect your feelings or something And try to move on and give them to someone else  But yet I care for her more than I care for myself Man who needs this  I'm not even good with commitments Plus I value my independence, in the end it's probably  Just a waste of time spent or maybe  There's something more to this relationship What's the point of caring when it hurts so much If this is what love comes with I'd rather not touch it In all honesty the outcome is uncertain  And I do run the risk of walking away hurting Searching for clarity, spare me the despair I'd rather be alone and not even care  Than to share my trust because you can't control  Fate so maybe I'll be alone but at least it's safe I know that's stupid Probably my insecurity  Or maybe god is using this to get through to me Because in the back of my mind  I'm always aware of pushing me towards prayer and bettering my character Making me thing about the man I want  To become regardless of the situations outcome Fast forward a few years into my life Man this song about my wife took me five years to write