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The Patient statement is: SSRI aND XANAX FEAR so.. yeah, my history with anxiety starts in june 2017 after two weeks after getting high on dextrometorphan, in the beginning i started having random panic attacks, after a while I became hypochondriac and after 3 months of battling anxiety symptoms and those panic attacks my mother took me to a psychiatrist which prescribed me serlift (sertraline) and xanax 0.25g.
Short story, i didn't took the pills, months passed symptoms dissappeared, but I started to act weird as i read more and more about mental disorders. I don't know who am I anymore, i have moments when everything scares me, even people's faces or when i look at something and it looks weird, paranormal stuff makes me anxious as fuck which is weird because in the past i was a huge horror movies and creepy shit fan and now it's like every creepy shit i saw and read about is against me. well, i went back to the psychiatrist after so many months and got me the same pills..
now I am scared of taking xanax, I am scared about losing controll on it and start destroying stuff because i have anger inside me, i am scared of taking serlift, i am scared of having hallucinations.
I have moments when i feel normal and i have moments when i feel those kinds of stuff....
Based on the context, the disorder may be: Anxiety | Anxiety |
The Patient statement is: Trying so hard. I'm 41 and been struggling throughout my life to cope. Started meds at 14 and been on and off for years. After many severe depressive episodes, I thought my mania was gone. Boy was I wrong. So after almost destroying my family life, I started back on lithium. This time around the tremors turned to convulsions and even after starting on a low dose, my body just couldn't hang. So I had to stop.
And then..... I went into extreme mania again. So now I'm back on Depakote and hating every second.
This sucks. The real me is gone and now I feel like a sheep that is being molded into society's acceptance.
That's all. I feel horrible and miss me! Based on the context, the disorder may be: Bipolar | Bipolar |
The Patient statement is: happy new year Happy new year, Joe, i hope everything works allright with this new girl. I love you, but not like that anymore. The warmest of all hugs ~ Based on the context, the disorder may be: Expressing | Expressing |
The Patient statement is: i do not deserve to be a human being. i need to die. i am not supposed to be alive. i need to end my life. every decision i made. every friend i made. i fucked up all of them. i gave them so many problems. i am not supposed to be alive. i need to die. please. i need someone to talk to. i seriously do. please.. Based on the context, the disorder may be: Suicide | Suicide |
The Patient statement is: I want to be a kid again :( I just don't want to be me right now, I want to go back to my childhood, life is really hard and I can't wait for things to get better. I want my mom to tell me everything is going to be okay and hug me until I fall asleep. But that's not happening :( Based on the context, the disorder may be: Anxiety | Anxiety |
The Patient statement is: Went back to work And it's f'ing hard. I have been out of work since a suicide attempt 7 months ago but with our divorce finalizing soon, it was time to make an income. But it sucks. I hate how I feel in the morning. I hate that I cry when I get home. I hate the actual work itself. I hate how it makes me feel. I feel dumb for not knowing things or remembering them. I feel stupid everyday. There is nothing I hate more than looking stupid when I know better. Maybe it's the disorder or maybe it's the meds or maybe I really am a failure at everything I touch. It's been 3 days and I want to throw in the towel. I'm not going to because my kids kind of need to eat but damn is this difficult. I had no idea functioning normally would ever be this complicated. Based on the context, the disorder may be: Bipolar | Bipolar |
The Patient statement is: Bipolar UK mood scale So, I'm tracking my moods, and the scale that my app (eMoods, yay) uses is a scale of NONE - 3. I have to fill in the blanks with journal descriptions from there.
So I was quite pleased to come across the [Bipolar UK Mood Scale](https://www.bipolaruk.org/FAQs/mood-scale), which defines a scale from 0-10 spanning multiple symptoms from severe depression to euthymia to severe mania that I can be exhibiting. Frankly, I'm a 2-3 right now, but I'm still managing to get work done. Some rushing, repetitive thoughts as well.
I hope this helps someone learn to understand their moods a bit more and communicate them more easily. Hugs Based on the context, the disorder may be: Bipolar | Bipolar |
The Patient statement is: So I was taking Latuda all wrong So I've been taking my Latuda and sleeping pill all wrong. every medication Ive been on, when it says take with food it means to at least have a little something on your stomach so you dont projectile vomit. When it says take on an empty stomach, I just assumed that meant as long as you hadnt eaten anything substantial in like 30 to an hour. A little snack was ok. I was taking both Latuda and sleeping pill with light snack before bed. Welp. Thats not how it works. Taking with food has nothing to with puking when it comes to Latuda. If you dont take it with at least 350-450 calories, it doesnt get absorbed. Latuda will get destroyed by your stomach acid before any benefits of the medication can get into your body. As for ambien, empty stomach MEANS empty stomach. No food at least 2 preferably 3 hours before. Ive been taking my meds right since Thursday. I can tell a difference but my body is still getting used to it. I came in to work today, had 5 people ask me if I was ok and one asking if a smoked a blunt before I came to work I looked so tired and zombified. Im beginning to feel better now though. Based on the context, the disorder may be: Bipolar | Bipolar |
The Patient statement is: Does anyone else experience this? So my anxiety started around this time last year. I would get high on weed, which is something i did way before the anxiety started. Something changed though and it started making me anxious. The weed would make me start questioning reality, as well as make me anxious for death. It's impossible to know when you will go, and the uncertainty kills me (no pun intended). So I stop smoking weed, and have slowly been getting better over the last year. I still have random thoughts, and attacks, but they are much better. Here is where my problem comes in:
I used to work out A LOT. 6 days a week, sometimes twice a day. I stopped about 6 months before my anxiety occurred. I figure that it could have something to do with how I stopped working out completely. When I work out now, I get the high that accompanies the post work out, but even that high makes me anxious now. Does a post-work out high bother anyone else? I am getting better at managing it, and I am aware that this is something that is necessary as opposed to mary-jane. Part of the anxiety comes from a feeling I get in my face. The upper left side of my face feels numb/limp almost as though I am having a stroke, but other than that there is nothing. The feeling my body gets after the work out messes with me though, and the feeling I get in my face does not help much.
It happened today when I shoveled my parent's driveway, and I basically just told myself to try my best to enjoy it. I kept switching between enjoying the feeling, and being anxious. Based on the context, the disorder may be: Anxiety | Anxiety |
The Patient statement is: my favourite streamer got banned I'm about too rope it & let it all go..
i lived my life through him for two years.. and now his channel got striked for 3 months .
Help me Based on the context, the disorder may be: Suicide | Suicide |
The Patient statement is: How to help my anxiety?? A little background knowledge: I’ve had anxiety since I was in high school. When I say “anxiety,” I worry about almost everything under the sun. If I get a headache, I assume it is a brain tumor. If i get chest pains (which were probably caused by me worrying) i assume I’m having a heart attack. If i get too heavy of a load at school (I’m in college) i have a panic attack (heart beating fast or skipping a beat, i can’t seem to catch my breath, dizzy) So many things lead to panic attacks and worrying. I worry about the future and i worry about the past. I worry about things that might not even happen. I catastrophize most things by thinking about the worst possible situation. I get upset/panic when i don’t do things right or feel like i am disappointing someone. I just hate feeling like this and want to know if anyone relates or if i am alone. If you relate, how did you fix I️t? I went to a counselor about two weeks ago (which was hard for me to do to begin with) who told me i probably need medication more so than counseling, but i am worried the medication will make me a zombie and/or not help. Any suggestions or tips are appreciated, thank you Based on the context, the disorder may be: Anxiety | Anxiety |
The Patient statement is: 14, parents cant help This is a throwaway. I am about to turn 15, and I attempted suicide when I was 10. This is a throwaway because I don't want my parents to find out. After my attempt, they said that I was only trying to kill myself to manipulate them into giving me toys or something. I was horribly insulted and told them that wasn't the case, and they promptly had me detained in a facility, where i attempted suicide 4 times, while the fat ass old ladies watching me there just said "Don't do it its gonna hurt" while they made me sit and do nothing all day for a week, and drew my blood for some sort of medication, which i wouldn't let them do because I was afraid of needles, and they forced me to do it because they said "If you don't do this we won't let you leave" and when i threatened to attack them or break out they just said "If you assault one of the attendants you just stay another day". Facilities like this are whats been keeping me from killing myself for these 5 years. Its a scary place and they dont want to help you, they dont care. Anyway, my parents handled it horribly and thats why i cant get help. If they find out, that could happen again. What should I do? Can i get help without them knowing?
i go to community college. due to the age difference i really have no enviroment to make friends. i have friends online but that doesn't satisfy the need for someone to comfort you IRL. Based on the context, the disorder may be: Suicide | Suicide |
The Patient statement is: I have no friends, chose the wrong career, and constantly think about killing myself [deleted] Based on the context, the disorder may be: Expressing | Expressing |
The Patient statement is: My friend has been in the Baptist Health Emergency Room for 14 hours After she woke up feeling disoriented and was sure she was raped, she checked herself into the hospital to have the fucking rape kit done and her blood work taken.
That was 7 hours ago. She was then, after 7 hours of being there, labeled as being on suicide watch due to unrelated depression and had all of her belongings taken away. They refuse to let us see her, or allow her to send a message.
The poor girl is a FUCKING VICTIM. I’m about to FUCKING SCREAM.
FUCK YOU BAPTIST HEALTH, MADISONVILLE, KY.
You’re getting sued mother fuckers.
Update: She was finally released after I asked for them to prove she was mentally incompetent and to show me the affidavit that signed away her rights. She was set to be released five minutes afterwards, and it took 30 minutes for them to return her phone, jewelry, etc. and they didn’t even give her the prescription medication back to her.
I don’t think I’ve hugged someone harder in my life. I’ve always played devils advocate and tried to have an unbiased perspective on many political issues but illegally holding a girl based on her prior medication prescription that is irrelevant to why she checked herself into the hospital is ridiculous. I’m so mad that I’m to the point of almost tears- I can’t even imagine what she’s going through.
Update 2: turns out it gets worse. I drank myself to sleep tonight only to wake up 30 minutes after dozing off, having put 2 and 2 together. I asked my friend if the rapist was who I thought it was. It was someone who I was friends with in elementary school- his brother and I were very good friends up until 8th grade in middle school. I’m beyond disgusted, and when the hammer of justice puts this fuck behind bars it will be well deserved. Fucking barbarian piece of shit.
UPDATE 3: The police are now enraged at the hospital. They took between 5-6 syringes of blood before ignoring the polices’ request to have it tested for evidence of her being drugged and instead just tested all of the separately for pregnancy and STDs...then they destroyed the samples. Based on the context, the disorder may be: Expressing | Expressing |
The Patient statement is: Someone I know was in a car accident yesterday [deleted] Based on the context, the disorder may be: Expressing | Expressing |
The Patient statement is: Broke up with my girlfriend, but I don't know what to do now. I just broke up with my girlfriend of half a year, and I feel so empty. We always talked about getting married and having kids, and now she's gone. It was somewhat of a mutual break up, but, in reality it feels like the biggest mistake of my life. I talked with her and hoped we could get back together, but she does not want to and I do not blame her. We broke up before. for a week, but ended up back together after we realized we both still cared deeply about each other. This time she said we shouldn't get back together because were no good together. We fought, but I never saw any of those fights as any thing worthwhile, just typical couple fights. I ended up telling her to block me because all I was going to do was bug her and just make her feel worse then she already does. She still cares about me, but blocking me was for the best for both of us. She can get over our relationship without me bothering her, and I have to learn to live without her. I'm here because it's so hard and I hate it. I just want to hold her in my arms and tell her how much I love her, but I can't. I'm not really suicidal, but I really don't want to exist right now. I really do not have any friends to turn to because I am not very sociable to begin with. She was the only person I really talked to, and was the first person I actually felt close to. Those six months of my life were the best months of my life, I used to just stumble through life until I met her. She was my sunshine, and now everything is just so dark. I'm turning to Reddit for answer because I have nowhere else to turn, please help me. Based on the context, the disorder may be: Suicide | Suicide |
The Patient statement is: Is getting married or even being in a relationship truly worth the stress? Idk maybe it’s because I have had only bad experiences....but still I know a lot of married couples/people relationships and I can honestly say I never get jealous at all. Don’t get me wrong I definitely have never had issues with being faithful I would absolutely love to be able to have one person I can give all of myself to so it’s not about that. It’s constantly having to please another person and at the same time cater to all of the issues and flaws they have while hoping they do the same for you in return. Also it is my absolute worst fear to spend years with someone get married and have kids just for them to cheat on me or decide they don’t love me anymore I would flip the fuck out. So I’m curious to know what exactly are the perks of being committed to someone? Based on the context, the disorder may be: Expressing | Expressing |
The Patient statement is: I accidentally witnessed CP. Today, I decided to visit omegle, since I do not have a girlfriend or fuckbuddy to satiisfy. I swear, I really needed to climax to something other than the usual porn. I skip through some dudes, I'm about to give up. That's when the face of a prepubescent child pops up. That's strange, I think. Then the picture changes to something horrific. I can see a prepubescent boy getting anally penetrated by an adult male. What you would normally call child porn. The picture changes to a boy, 8 or something, standing before a naked grown man. That was when I understood what was happening and I shut down the computer. I feel fucking broken now. Please, redditors, make me feel better. Based on the context, the disorder may be: Expressing | Expressing |
The Patient statement is: I Think I may be experiencing Dissociation, advice and support please! So I've been attending college for about 2 years now and have had a few ups and downs. I was really hoping this semester would be better as I have now been accepted as a student with disability due to my ADD, and now have more resources at my disposal. However I have yet to really make use of many of them to my own demise.
Anyway, long story short, I have dug myself into a hole in one of my classes as the workload is quite heavy (three term papers and one final project at the end). I have now since watched two of those deadlines come and go without even starting them (WHY AM I LIKE THIS AKJSHJKSH). So since this weekend, I think I may be experiencing dissociation or depersonalization. At first I thought it could be drug induced since I have experienced it in the past on drugs such as ketamine and nitrous oxide and sometimes weed if I haven't smoked in a while. However I haven't taken any drugs I am not prescribed or done any illicit substances in years. I thought it may have been the combination of my dexedrine, weed and some beer I had on the weekend at a party, however I still feel like I'm 'high' and my hands don't feel like they're mine/feel numb or like there's some sort of delayed response in my touch perception. I also kind of feel like I'm in a haze/dreamlike state. I only feel normal if I'm concentrating on my phone or tv or whatever but as soon as I try to think about anything else I get a head ache and feel disconnected.
Does anybody know what is happening to me and how do I deal with it to make it stop? TIA! Based on the context, the disorder may be: Anxiety | Anxiety |
The Patient statement is: I feel like I’ve already sabotaged my own dreams and there’s no point in living out the rest of my pathetic life. Hey there. I’m 22. I’m married. I have had depression and anxiety since I was 14. Every November it gets almost unbearable as it’s the anniversary of my first suicide attempt when I was 15. I’ve let depression run my life and I’ve lived in fear. I’ve blown my aspirations and dreams (don’t really want to go into specifics, but there isn’t really anyway around it). I don’t feel like there is any other reason left for me to be alive. I’m sick of playing the game and faking it. I literally hope I get killed in a car wreck every time I drive anywhere. The only reason I don’t act on it is because I know my husband would blame himself and I love him way too much to leave him with that burden. My future is pretty much what I never wanted for myself. I’ve had counseling. I’ve been on meds. It all just makes me feel numb and dead. Sometimes I like the pain better. Based on the context, the disorder may be: Suicide | Suicide |
The Patient statement is: I need some advice. I think i'm nearly at the end I hate myself. I can't make friends and the friends I do have never talk to me and obviously have no interest in me. I wasn't really properly socialised or encourage to play with other kids as a child so i've always struggled to make connections with other human beings. I'm 21 and i've never had a relationship.I've had a few meaningless one night stands and dated one girl briefly but i panicked and drove her away. Otherwise, I just become obsessed with girls that generally have no interest in me and use me. I hate that i'm so needy but I honestly just want some one to love me and help me through this immense lonliness i've felt since I was a kid.
I genuinely cannot remember a time where I felt content, felt like my goals were being achieved or even felt the slightest bit of happiness. I've been to school, college, university and have absolutely no redeeming skills or attributes to show from it and I can't find job. I don't think anyone would miss me and i'm honestly thinking about killing myself. If I wasn't such a worthless coward I would have done it years ago. Based on the context, the disorder may be: Suicide | Suicide |
The Patient statement is: I'm scared I wish tomorrow was a weekday so I could schedule a doctor's appointment. I just got out if an inpatient place I was committed to after I took myself to the emergency room for being suicidal 3 weeks ago. I love myself. I don't know why this is happening to me. It's ruining my life. Why can't I get over things anymore. I want to die but idk. I'm just hungry. I swear I'm not in drugs or anything. At least I have sleeping meds this time. Before I went in to the hospital last time I slept probably 6 hours in 4 days. Somekne response please. I'm hungry. I'm cold. I live in this weird extended stay hotel now off a freeway in a major coty it's such a chore to go get food. I have no kitchen. Based on the context, the disorder may be: Suicide | Suicide |
The Patient statement is: My feelings were not valid apparently All my "depression" has been just a poor justification for being broke lazy ass with no ambitions, no hobby, shitty job, no friends, being sarcastic asshole whom everyone despises and mock openly. That's what I got from my shrink - not the exact words, but "You don't have depression. You just want to habe this label. You've got only symptoms". in addition, he labeled me as benzodiazepines dependant (guess WHO prescribed me this shit in the first place?)
I should just get up and leave. Or show him my scars from latest self-harm. Or show him my trashbin I called my room, that I dont even clean, because I have no friends to invite in. Or maybe I should record for him my crying in the shower, knowing I'll never be enough and I wasted my best years and now there's nothing good in store anymore. Maybe he should see me at 2 am at the stairwell smoking and swaying back and forth. Maybe I should show him my internet history consisting mainly of suicide forums, methods of suicide or how to get a gun in a country that doesnt allow any.
Symptoms of depression, my ass. Fuck this incompetent piece of shit. Based on the context, the disorder may be: Suicide | Suicide |
The Patient statement is: Is anyone on this thread living with bipolar abroad? Are any of us living abroad in countries that are not Canada/USA/Australia/England etc?
How do you guys cope living in your countries and how do you manage to acquire medication?
I recently got back from a great year teaching in Korea and upon returning to my home country I was immediately diagnosed as Bipolar 1. However, this puts a snag in my life plans. East Asian visas aren't to cheery about mental illness. I've combed these forums for any proof of anyone being able to flourish abroad despite this. I thought this thread could be an interesting collection of where everyone comes from and how they cope. Any input is warmly welcomed. Thank you. Based on the context, the disorder may be: Bipolar | Bipolar |
The Patient statement is: Have the date planned for a little under 3 years from now I feel like giving myself 3 years to see if things get better is a good and rational idea, especially considering I was always the type to say that suicide is bad and not the answer. There's a whole long backstory but I don't care to type it out (although I'm not bothered by it, just unfortunate);- the only thing that's important is that every single day I'm sadder than I've ever been in life and ready. I'm also waiting 3 years because that'll be when I get home for break from college and will be old enough to purchase a handgun in my state. I guess I'm just posting to see if you guys think that planning out 3 years ahead and if worse comes to worse, ending it, is rational. Every single day has gotten worse though so far for the past few months and I've been thinking that I want to, need to, and deserve to be dead as everything I care about fades away more each day. Based on the context, the disorder may be: Suicide | Suicide |
The Patient statement is: Can we make connections here? Mind is ARRR
body is fucked
Still believe in soul
Want to connect and make some real friends all ages sexes and backgrounds welcome. Its a start and likely a good one. Lets do this Based on the context, the disorder may be: Depression | Depression |
The Patient statement is: I can't decide if i should go to the gp in the morning (You are not my doctor)
So I made an appointment like a week ago with my gp because I was convinced something was very wrong with me, and now that it's the night before I've convinced myself I'm totally fine. But the reason I made the appointment was that I was just feeling really weird and finding it impossible to leave the house (missed like a week straight of work), felt very anxious and like every car coming past my window was a bad ominous sign, as well as just generally not being able to sleep.
I started lamictal like two months ago and after a month I felt much better but now i feel strange. I did notice that I got the generic this time and last time I took it and it worked it was the more expensive brand one.
I have a psychiatrist appointment in two months time but I might cancel because I won't be able to afford the gap.
I feel okay now and I realise there is very little the gp can do. I would like some anxiety medication I'm always too afraid to ask because it's not viewed kindly here.
TLDR: I made a gp appointment a week ago because I felt strange, feel okay now, should I still go or cancel? Based on the context, the disorder may be: Bipolar | Bipolar |
The Patient statement is: Why do certain not good thoughts get stuck in our heads? My husband told me the thought of suicide is stuck in his head when he knows he doesn't want to do it. He said he wants to see a therapist to see why he is having that thought and I completely support him. I have asked to make sure he's happy and told him i much rather he leave instead of take his own life (we are pretty young and have one child and are expecting another) so I know he is very stressed out. He said he knows he loves me and our children which is why he doesn't know why he has the thought ? He also said he feels like he is not the best he can be for me and our children which I always tell him he is because he has done so much and given up a lot for us.
being anxious myself ive been so worried for him and sad that he has the thought. Is this something I should be more alarmed by? Is this a normal thing for someone under as much stress as him? I am trying very hard to just be supportive and listen to him and help as best as I can. Any input or advice is helpful I love him very much and want to make sure I'm not under reacting to this. Based on the context, the disorder may be: Anxiety | Anxiety |
The Patient statement is: Intrusive thoughts I'm a 23 year old female with bipolar 1 and psychotic features. I've been hospitalized for extended stays 4 times since my diagnosis about 2 years ago, and (after some horrible experiences) going back into a psych unit is my worst fear. I'm afraid that telling my pdoc about my intrusive thoughts is going to get me back on the fast track to the psych ward- I'm not a danger to myself or others but my thoughts are unwanted, violent, and disturbing. For example, I keep seeing myself stabbing myself in the eye with a syringe while I'm at work (I work in an animal hospital). The weird thing is that I don't feel depressed... but I can't stop seeing myself in "1000 ways to die" scenarios.
I guess I'm just wondering if I'm alone or if anyone else here has this particular little quirk too... and if I have to tell my pdoc. Based on the context, the disorder may be: Bipolar | Bipolar |
The Patient statement is: Health, anxiety and relationships. I need advice. So ... I am a very anxious person, especially when it comes to things related to health. I'm always thinking that in the future the doctor will diagnose me some kind of serious illness, I'm almost sure of that, but right now go to the doctor isn't an option.
The thing is that I have a boyfriend, he's an amazing guy and loves me A LOT and I know I love him as well, that's how he has become the most supportive person in my life when it comes to my panic attacks on being ill. Trust me: he really helps. Although I think he's awesome as a boyfriend and we both are good, surprisely I still don't feel 100% connected and confortable with the idea of us being in a relationship. We used to be friends for a long period of time, and before that I used to date girls only. As I say, I know I love him, but I don't know if I love him enough in a romantic way. Sadly I was thinking of breaking up the other day, but I'm afraid of losing the only person that understand my health anxiety (and my anxiety in general) and know how to manage it. What do you think about my case? I'm very confused. Based on the context, the disorder may be: Anxiety | Anxiety |
The Patient statement is: Increased lithium to 900mg and I feel dead inside, or numb, or blank.... IDK Based on the context, the disorder may be: Bipolar | Bipolar |
The Patient statement is: Bipolar w ADHD question I have a definite diagnosis of ADHD and a questionable diagnosis of bipolar. Backstory: I got the diagnosis of ADHD a few years ago, was put on Adderall, and proceeded to ruin my life - bad financial decisions, bad personal decisions, no regard for consequences, etc. stopped the Adderall and depression hit me hard. Went to a psychiatrist who said in a nutshell a reaction like that likely means I’m bipolar. Then at the next visit after I voiced questions about Lamictal side effects, he said he thought maybe I just had more of anxiety and depression, and not bipolar or even ADHD, despite me going through hours of testing before the ADHD diagnosis. I was skeptical about such a sudden change in diagnosis so I quit going to him. I’m seeing a new therapist now and am waiting to see a psychiatrist. My therapist now doesn’t think what happened when I was on Adderall was a manic episode and told me I was probably just feeling more ‘free’ with decision making. I strongly disagree as the decisions were impulsive, uncharacteristic, and destructive. She has suggested I go back on ADD meds due to the difficulty I am having with symptoms, at my job, etc. I am unsure. Ever since the Adderall incident, I feel different. I feel dumb, like my brain doesn’t work. I don’t feel the way I used to. I’m way less confident and my memory is terrible. Sometimes I have moments of feeling like my normal self, but they are fleeting. I don’t know who to believe, and am desperate to try something because I’m miserable. I’m very tempted to go back on ADD meds because I’m wondering if that’s the problem and will make me feel normal again. On the other side, I’m terrified of the idea because I’m afraid of the same thing happening as before.
My question / tl;dr: anyone out there with experience taking ADD meds? If I am indeed bipolar and I try them again will I know if I’m swinging into mania? The first time obviously I had no idea but I’m wondering if awareness helps since I am not on any other medications currently. Based on the context, the disorder may be: Bipolar | Bipolar |
The Patient statement is: I don't know if i care a lot or i'm really scared of time. I just had something i could describe as a panic attack almost. It was just cause i thought of how time can separate people so effortlessly. I got really scared cause there is a girl i have kind of a relationship with and i really don't want to lose what we have with her. I got so scared that i started crying and shaking, shivering and feeling cold. What happened to me? And now i don't think i can look at our connection the same way.. My mind was making me experience what i would feel if we were separated and it just hit me like a bunch of trucks, i've dealt with heavy breakups before but just this experience alone was way much stronger. What do i do to look on this relationship in a positive way, without so much fear? Based on the context, the disorder may be: Expressing | Expressing |
The Patient statement is: Any else struggle to to relax in their downtime? This has been really bothering me as of late. I just cannot relax! I've got a library full of games waiting for me to play them on Steam and five minutes into a gaming session I begin to feel anxious that I need to be doing other stuff with my time, like work on my projects or do something productive. I sit down to try to watch a TV show that my friend keeps telling me to watch, no joy. Anxiety kicks in! I can't even enjoy my simple hobbies anymore because my anxiety is just so unrelenting. I always feel like there aren't enough hours in the day for me to do whatever I need to do. It's even hindering my ability to learn new things and skills. When I was a kid, I used to be able to fill so many things into my daily schedule but nowadays I'm just a nervous wreck who can't focus on anything. Based on the context, the disorder may be: Anxiety | Anxiety |
The Patient statement is: Do you give in or abstain during periods of hyper sexuality? When I'm having hypersexuality problems, I tend to indulge my urges, but I wonder if that can make it worse/if I should try to ignore them.
I'm not doing anything unsafe or irresponsible, but I wonder if it increases those kinds of feelings if they are always being honored.
If I should calm myself, what tips do you have to do that? Based on the context, the disorder may be: Bipolar | Bipolar |
The Patient statement is: Benzo vacay Some days I won’t take (need) any/all anti anxiety other days I just open the bottle of klonopin and pour some in my hand without counting then throw them back. It’s a short escape until I fall asleep. Lol my life still sucks but I can happily go to dream land. Based on the context, the disorder may be: Bipolar | Bipolar |
The Patient statement is: To everyone I've ever loved. Happy new year, it's 2018. I hope this next year is good for you. Better than the last, it was really awful for me. It ruined me you know, degraded to the point where I'm standing here in 2018 ready for what's to come.
To my love, you probably won't see this, but I want you to know I do love you. A selfish kind of love. I know I'm a cheater, a whore, a liar, I know it all too well. I just wasn't patient enough. I'm sorry.
To my ma and pa, I love you guys. I know you love me too. You've only ever wanted my happiness and success, I suppose I couldn't give you success but at least I'll go somewhat happily. This is better than breathing. I'm sorry.
To my friends, you have all tried you best. I commend you, for all the laughs and joyous moments you've all blessed with me. You hold my heart, I will always be grateful for the hours and days, for the gifts and jokes. I'm sorry.
To the stranger reading this, I am one of billions. I will die mediocre. Travis is right, I am mediocre. I could've been great, I could've been. The short term gratification has blinded me. I'm selfish, a liar. I will die mediocre. I'm sorry.
I never tried my best, I tried my best to get away, to take shorts cuts. It may be a new year, but I am still the same as I was, I never change not once in those fights, now it doesn't even matter anymore. I'm sorry.
Keep a noose in my closet,
Wondering when I'll just lose it,
Forget all my sorrow,
There is no tomorrow
They new years a lie,
Time to say my good byes,
Thanks for the memories,
I hope you'll remember me. Based on the context, the disorder may be: Suicide | Suicide |
The Patient statement is: Abilify? I got off my latuda because I hated how much I slept on it but it worked well otherwise. I got prescribed Abilify today and am super super scared for some reason. I've fallen into the dark whole of the web where I'm reading every post about it online and there are so many different bad side effects but especially the weight gain. I've gained so much in college as it is that if I gained even 10 more I could not go on with my life. I'm probably just dramatic but how I feel about myself and my self esteem is super important to me. Any good stories on it that will make me feel better? Based on the context, the disorder may be: Bipolar | Bipolar |
The Patient statement is: School seems so crippling and impossible. Thinking about school is just so crippling that I just want to disappear or die.
This autumn I had to meet myself in the door and acknowledge something was seriously wrong. After talking to the doctor he set me up with a psychologist and psychiatrist on the suspicion that I have bipolar, which could be true. It's made me think back to certain episodes in my life and been kind of mindwrecking. In November I felt really shit and was gone from school the whole month, glued to my bed. I had a lot of catching up to do but ofc making sweets and other things were more important. I couldn't sit still or concentrate anyway. Now I'm dealing with waves of anxiety and panic attacks and I'm feeling down again. I don't know what to do!
I have 2 tests during the first week of the coming semester and I'm really not ready. There's also this paper and other tests coming up soon... Idk what to do with myself! I just want to disappear. All this makes me sick. I feel so overwhelmed and I feel that if I go on like this I'll get worse grades than I would've if I was in a better place. Idk. Sorry for posting this here as it's not certain if I have bipolar but I don't know where else to turn to...
It's just that I'm seriously considering taking a break from school to get to some sort of stability and I'm wondering if it's a good idea? Has anybody been in the same situation? Based on the context, the disorder may be: Bipolar | Bipolar |
The Patient statement is: Cruel World This is just a rant about the problems in my life...
I was kicked out of uni after my fourth semester last year, have been unemployed for three months, have only eaten microwave burritos and eggos for the past month, have about $12,000 in debt, and literally no friends but my dad, who lives 40 minutes away from me.
My dad told me I had to move out last year because I am addicted to weed so ive been living with an elderly woman in a small house since I got kicked out of school (for weed). Ive been trying to sell my car for over a month just for two months of rent and some weed. I have aspergers and possibly other neuroses, I go crazy when Im sober. And on top of that, my isp is fucking me and if I cant have internet that will make this decision so easy.
I havent talked to friends or girls for months. I rarely go outside. Humans are cunts. Nobody cares about each other and it seems at every turn nobody wants to hear me. If by the end of this month I havent sold my car Ill probably take it to a dealership for a months rent and whatever narcotics I can get then off myself.
In the past year Ive also almost literally thrown away $6,000, and that doesnt include what Ive spent on weed. So I owe my bank, paypal, the school that kicked me out, and my dad.
My step mom was also diagnosed with breast cancer a few months ago and just now lost all her hair, so I cant even complain to my parents.
Wheres the reset button? Fuck a silver lining, thats a thousand miles in my rear view mirror. Based on the context, the disorder may be: Suicide | Suicide |
The Patient statement is: Im just feeling horrible right now... Im not even 18 yet and im just feeling like i wont ever be happy again...i cant even really remember what it feels like to be happy, to laugh, i dont know what it feels like to be desired or to be asked for, and thats so fucking depressing, especially when i see people who are desired by someone and asked for by other people.
I think i even "like" someone, but he wouldnt like me, and that is making me feel even worse...
I have no qualification, i didnt graduate, i have no friends, i have no social environment, in my opinion im ugly, i did actually lose weight and did sports and stuff, but it doesnt makes me that much happier and it doesnt gives me self-esteem, which i lack as well.
I hope that one day i will feel better, that the darkness around me disappears, i want to be happy again, i want to find love, like other teenies or adults, to be a working part of the system, to find a job that i enjoy, to stop being the lonely worthless piece of shit i am today.
I just dont know what to do, and with every day that passes by i feel worse and worse and i lose a bit more of the hope for a better life that keeps me alive right now.
If anyone reads this, thank you, and i wish everyone of you a great life and happiness and i hope that you find your salvation. Based on the context, the disorder may be: Depression | Depression |
The Patient statement is: Why did you have to lie? Using a throwaway because I have some residual embarrassment about being taken in by this guy.
He doesn’t like wearing a condom, I made him wear one the first time and he made a fuss and ended up taking it off halfway through.
So I ask him if he can’t bring himself to use a condom then he needs to not be Fucking other people. He deems this perfectly reasonable- his exact words. I’m satisfied with this, we fuck, he leaves.
Less than an hour later I’m apparently putting ‘pressure’ on him and he doesn’t want a relationship- no shit dude, me neither I just don’t want a raging STD or three. I didn’t feel comfortable enough to tell him I couldn’t trust him to sleep with other people and use a condom so I just dodged the questions and he made massive assumptions that I wanted a boyfriend.
I know getting out of there was a good call. I know I should feel good about this decision. But somehow I’m stuck on the fact that it’s perfectly reasonable to no fucking way in an hour. I know it was just about sex but it still feels like I’ve been used. Based on the context, the disorder may be: Expressing | Expressing |
The Patient statement is: I want my fiance to hate my family I written and re-written this so many times. I have no idea how to properly express myself so I'm just going to be very direct.
I love my family and they're actually pretty wonderful these days. My mom is my soulmate. My brother is my emotional baby that I protect with everything. My sister is a bit of a badass but she opens up to me. My father is an asshole who physically and emotionally abused me while the rest just emotionally abused me. I guess being the youngest made me something of a scape goat. I hate my father and we don't talk even though we all spend the holidays together. It's odd but we've gotten used to it. I'm 22 now.
I've never told my fiance the truth about my family but when I do I don't want him to love them the way that I do. I want him to hate them. I want him to hate these wonderful people on my behalf because they weren't always the wonderful people I helped them become. I want him to hate them because somebody *should*. I think I would hate him if he didn't.
It's not possible to balance this and I know that. I knew that going into this relationship and I'm terrified. It's past time that I face the fact that I left myself in the dust while helping them all become the best versions of themselves. I just don't know how to without destroying the family I worked so hard to build. I truly love them. I want them in my daily life. I want my fiance to tear me away from them and take us both somewhere safe. I hate both outcomes. Based on the context, the disorder may be: Expressing | Expressing |
The Patient statement is: So it's been 3 years since I visited this sub [deleted] Based on the context, the disorder may be: Depression | Depression |
The Patient statement is: Most "depressed" people I know are actually pretty cool and more often than not bad-asses Wouldn't be cool if we could get all these people in the same patch of land and build our little secret state free of bullshit, free of degrees, free of stinking interviews, free of "bosses" who don't know anything more than you despite we've been told otherwise, free of floating currencies, free of empty foods. Sewage would be a problem. Birth control of course mandatory in our nation, having kids would be a privilege, not a right to any dumbass. Monthly inspections on everyone's properties to ensure there's no child-rapists or women-kidnappers in our neighborhood.
I don't know man, most times I feel we just have to stop comparing ourselves with others, our lives are always going to be different, there's no magic formula, it's tough creating a new path instead of following an existing one but in the end it's so rewarding you will crave the dopamine spikes all over again...
I don't know, just my two cents after stumbling on this reddit by chance (google searches) Dreaming is still free of taxes. Out. Based on the context, the disorder may be: Depression | Depression |
The Patient statement is: Anxiety fucking sucks Ever since I was a kid, I've always had extremely irrational thoughts that caused me immense fear. When I was 10, I was convinced my heart would stop beating, even though I was always healthy.
These obsessive thoughts caused me immense anxiety. They made it difficult for me to focus and study. They made it difficult for me to go out with friends. That caused me depression.
It feels like a constant feeling of tension in your body. Constant questioning. Constant uncertainty.
And the worst part is that you don't realize how severely it hurts, how severely it limits your life, and how severely it takes joy out of your existence until you finally get rid of it.
Living without anxiety and depression is so different. It feels like you're a happy child again. But when you live with anxiety or depression for so many years, you forget how life is suppose to feel like.
Anxiety is often a subtle feeling too but immense in the amount of emotional pain it causes. That's one of the worst parts. If a person has cancer or leukemia, they're aware that it's a big problem but if a person has anxiety, they are often forced to question their own anxiety and ask themselves whether it's a big deal (which it is) or just their own made up fears.
I hope anyone who has anxiety finds complete freedom from it soon. It suddenly went away from me one day because I realized that my obsessive thoughts, which were wholly irrational, were largely controlling my life and from that moment on I feel so much freer, lighter, and happier. Based on the context, the disorder may be: Anxiety | Anxiety |
The Patient statement is: So recently connected with an old friend and all we talked about was his tinder issues [deleted] Based on the context, the disorder may be: Depression | Depression |
The Patient statement is: Virgin shaming is fucked up and needs to stop It's toxic and disgusting. There is nothing shameful in being a virgin at any age, for any gender. This double standard we have over sl*ts/virgins for men/women needs to end, and we shouldn't stigmatize people who speak out against it. Based on the context, the disorder may be: Expressing | Expressing |
The Patient statement is: Prescription drugs ruined my life. A doctor gave me benzos for severe anxiety without cautioning me that they could destroy my life. I've dealt with withdrawal symptoms for 3 years now with no end in sight. I am now divorced, I have no friends, my family hates me, my sex drive/ability to orgasm is dead (going on 3 years too) I have severe OCD, and severe depression. My body is falling apart because of being on benzos for only one month. Daily I deal with akathesia, anhedonia, and suicidal thoughts. I'll be dead by the end of this year- just another casualty of our criminal health 'care' system. Based on the context, the disorder may be: Suicide | Suicide |
The Patient statement is: Abilify side effects? Hello everyone my psychiatrist has recommended I switch to Abilify from Seroquel. I've taken it for the first time a couple hours ago (only 2mg pill) and I am a little concerned about the side effects I am experiencing.
I feel cold for some reason even though im wearing a sweater and im under a blanket and I feel some anxiety which has motivated me to make this post. My nose is congested and I have the irrational fear that if i fall asleep ill stop breathing. Based on the context, the disorder may be: Bipolar | Bipolar |
The Patient statement is: Getting Dark So This Will Be My Last Post Of Anything I'm letting my last post be for this reddit. Though I know only like 10 people will actually read it. Oh well.. goodbye everyone. Based on the context, the disorder may be: Depression | Depression |
The Patient statement is: So hopeless I'm so heartbroken, hopeless, lost. Holy shit I want to die. But I don't. Jesus Christ Based on the context, the disorder may be: Depression | Depression |
The Patient statement is: i’m so fucking tired i’ve lost everyone i really care about and it’s taking a huge toll on me. no one will look at me or talk to me. i’m so lonely. i’m so upset. i’m so goddamn tired of feeling this way. i just wanna keep sleeping all day. i just want this to end. why do i fuck up every single thing? i’m just tired. i’ve tried so many antidepressants and none of them have done shit. nothing makes me truly happy anymore. please just let my life end Based on the context, the disorder may be: Depression | Depression |
The Patient statement is: 22, student, If this is life, I don't see how anyone would want to live [deleted] Based on the context, the disorder may be: Suicide | Suicide |
The Patient statement is: Those with experience switching from Paxil to something else? Hello, I am a long long long time user of Paxil and am looking to try something different. It works well for me, but i have been taking it for 17years. I have put on about 120 lbs over those years, some due to age, but I blame paxil for a majority. I also am not as energetic as I used to be, and noticed the decline shortly after going on it. But since it worked so well i ignored it. But now i want that to change.
My need for paxil is in direct relations to panic attacks or aggression attacks as i refer to them sometimes. I tend to get agitated easily or snap at people if I feel panicky or if I am embarrassed or put in situations I do not like I get agitated to the point of being a dick and yelling a lot. Which my family ends up being on the wrong side of my temper tantrums, my panick attacks turn into agitation and defensiveness.
Ha anyone else switched from paxil successfully or anyone with a similar situation using something different? I have tried Welbutrin, and Zoloft, both of which left me irritable. And i quickly switched back.
Anyone else been on it as long or longer? Would like to hear. Based on the context, the disorder may be: Anxiety | Anxiety |
The Patient statement is: I need someone my ex? thinks I'm insane. i made a mess of my entire life. i feel like a fuck up i feel like there's no way out mostly i don't want to feel. Based on the context, the disorder may be: Suicide | Suicide |
The Patient statement is: How do I get my self to stop? Every night is the same fucking thing of me crying myself to sleep while my mind constantly tells myself to fuck off and die. I can't stop hating myself. I can't stop telling myself I'm a piece of shit who should be mercy killed. I'm not happy I don't remember the last time I have been. I hate myself and here I am in tears calling myself a mistake as I write this because this is all I know at this point Based on the context, the disorder may be: Depression | Depression |
The Patient statement is: Tell me about topamax and klonopin. So my Latuda is helping heaps with my depression and suicidal thoughts but it's giving me bad akathisia and I'm still getting hypo and manic. My dr prescribed me topamax to apparently help stabilize the mania (even though I read that treatment for bipolar disorder is not super strongly founded for this med) and the klonopin to bring me down when I'm really high and agitated/anxious. Can anyone share their experiences on either of these 2 meds?
Edit: I should clarify these are in addition to latuda, not instead of it. Based on the context, the disorder may be: Bipolar | Bipolar |
The Patient statement is: Confused about sexuality I'm a straight guy that jacks off to a lot of gay porn and when I'm in the mood I also fantasize about getting fucked hard threesomes gangbangs and sucking but when I ejaculate all the interest of gay sex goes out the window am I bi is this a phase or what? Based on the context, the disorder may be: Expressing | Expressing |
The Patient statement is: what a GD Day... Oh dear lord, it has been a long day. I hate my worthlessness and the non-contribution to my family from a financial standpoint. I have an appointment Monday with my therapist...I am thinking about discussing disability. No matter what happens, I know that I need time and healing to get to a good point for my family. Hopefully, I can get disability and support my family while I work through my goddamned mental problems. I don't need hospitalization...I need understanding. Oh dear lawd, give me the strength to hold it together on my own until help arrives. Based on the context, the disorder may be: Bipolar | Bipolar |
The Patient statement is: Things people have said to me over the last year [deleted] Based on the context, the disorder may be: Suicide | Suicide |
The Patient statement is: I’m trying my hardest to get out this after mania depression that always follows. It’s like I lose all my hobbies, can’t listen to music, just don’t want to do anything. I know this can last months even years. Anyone else want to share about their bi polar depression recovery stories ? Based on the context, the disorder may be: Bipolar | Bipolar |
The Patient statement is: Anxiety help What to do when anxiety consumes you?? Any help?? I have a history of anxiety, but I have been off my meds for a couple of years, some serious events have happened in my life and it's starting to get to me. Anyone else similar to this??
Based on the context, the disorder may be: Anxiety | Anxiety |
The Patient statement is: My life makes me feel sick to my stomach [deleted] Based on the context, the disorder may be: Anxiety | Anxiety |
The Patient statement is: SMART goals and longer term planning >A S.M.A.R.T. goal is defined as one that is specific, measurable, achievable, results-focused, and time- bound.
I know we often go weekly goals here, but I thought it might be nice to think about long term planning for a minute. Your long term plan can be big or small, but I'd love to hear about what you want to accomplish this year! Even better if you can identify some specific "SMART" steps that can get you there.
And remember, the best goal is to live as happily as possible. I know that sometimes getting out of bed is a full day task. I will never judge anyone based on what their goals are.
I'm both Jewish and a student so for me fall is about new beginnings. I just started a new semester and the new year is on the 20th. I'll share some of my goals in the comments. Based on the context, the disorder may be: Bipolar | Bipolar |
The Patient statement is: Apparently my psychiatrist is wrong I just got told by someone that I’m not bipolar. Apparently all the doctors and psychiatrists are wrong about me. I just got told that I don’t need my meds. I just need to exercise and get my heart going and I’ll be fine. Based on the context, the disorder may be: Bipolar | Bipolar |
The Patient statement is: Does anyone ever feel like they are just using depression as a scapegoat for the troubles they are having in life? Title Based on the context, the disorder may be: Depression | Depression |
The Patient statement is: Uncontrollable shaking? This is something that has been happening to me all my life, and I’ve never been able to explain it. In very specific situations, something will make me feel uncomfortable (typically bodily stuff, like blood) and i’ll end up having a fit of uncontrollable shaking, hyperventilating, and just feeling really cold. It lasts a few minutes but eventually stops. What’s interesting is this never happens when I have my more typical anxious thoughts, it exclusively happens when the anxiety involves things like blood.
Weird example: was watching Futurama a while back, and Bender bent the Professor backwards so he’s constantly looking upward. Professor comments on how the blood is pooling at the back of his head. I obsess about this for about a minute before the shaking begins.
I’m just curious if anyone else has ever experienced something similar. It happens so rarely that it isn’t disruptive in my life. I’m just really interested in understanding why it happens. I’ve labeled it as a panic attack, but I can’t be sure. Any insights would be greatly appreciated! Have a great day! Based on the context, the disorder may be: Anxiety | Anxiety |
The Patient statement is: I strongly suspect my friend might have attempted suicide... He said to me that last night was really bad and that he did something stupid which wasn't self-harm, but he says it wouldn't be a good idea to say what it was at the moment. My natural suspicion is that he attempted, but maybe it's just me worrying.
Regardless, I don't know what I'd say if he tells me. Can anyone who has maybe been in that situation before give some insight? Based on the context, the disorder may be: Suicide | Suicide |
The Patient statement is: Suicide by food? Lost alot of weight just to gain it back. Never got addicted to any drugs or alcohol but sitting here about to throw up from shoveling shit down my throat. My knees hurt from carrying around the extra weight and I know I should lose it but, I don't see myself living till 75 anyway (just turned 30). Anyone know how to overcome this? Feel like I'm just killing myself slowly Based on the context, the disorder may be: Depression | Depression |
The Patient statement is: i'm just a little down and want to ramble a little bit... i just want to ramble a little bit so i thought this was a good place
i fell like my life is a extreme high-low.. not in the sence that i change a lot of things but more just my mood... when i'm in a high-spot its great i mean my live is really not that bad but sometimes i get into lows for the stupidest reasons... stuff that doesn't really matter that much.. and that can hold on for days where i just feel like im physicaly sick.. like if i'm going to puke but in my head and i can't get out of this negative headspace... when i make the smallest mistakes like if i'm a little cheasy at a party from 5 years ago or stuff like that. its so stupid because as i said my life's not that bad besides some usual stuff that happenes to everybody. but i keep getting traped in my own self doubt i, can't sleep or eat or anything.
its just crushing at times... when i stand up the first thing i think of is how i feel and why and then im already done for the day... i would never kill my self but sometimes it seems so obvious... but on the next day it all can be okay and i feel great again and i wonder how it got to this point... i just feel overwhelmed by everything sometimes... i love videogames because when you get a quest it says right where to go and what to do in order and with little checkmarks and if you fuck up you just try again... i tried to put this into real live but it just doesn't work out for me... all the things i'm supposed to do and i just can't motivate my self to get my ass up if my live depended on it... sometimes i feel like i don't have a choice(i know i have and i i dont want to say its not my fault)
tl:dr
im a lazy guy and i'm completely overwhelmed with beeing an adult
my highs and lows in live get so far apart that i feel like i am switching places with someone more copetent
thank you for reading my rambelings i just felt like writing
i hope you habe a nice day
Based on the context, the disorder may be: Expressing | Expressing |
The Patient statement is: What are your thoughts on General Anxiety Disorder and how it relates to Borderline Personality Disorder? Based on the context, the disorder may be: Anxiety | Anxiety |
The Patient statement is: Has anyone successfully quit or cut back on medication? It's something my psych has brought up over the past year or so, and I've always declined. Mostly because I can't afford to have a breakdown if it doesn't work out.
Now I'm coming up on a time when I might have wiggle room for a breakdown so to speak, and I have an appointment with my psych next month. Idk about quitting entirely, but cutting back would be great if it reduced the side effects. Has anyone been successful with this?
I'm taking 300mg lamictal, 300mg wellbutrin, and 80mg strattera btw. I would be considering cutting back on lamictal mostly, maybe wellbutrin.
Thanks for any feedback. :) Based on the context, the disorder may be: Bipolar | Bipolar |
The Patient statement is: Lamactil and Bloating (TW: weight??) I am still working on finding meds that work for me. After having bad akathisia from Zoloft and vraylar, any SSRIs and anti psychotics are now off limits for me. Seriously, akathisia is a terrifying terrifying TERRIFYING thing.
Because of that, I am now on lamactil. I've had no weight gain and my doctor has confirmed that to me. However, I've had some bloating that hasn't gone away. I am a woman and now instead of just bloating around and during my period, I'm bloated 24/7 and have been this away since I started lamactil. As an athlete, needless to say I am very very unhappy with how my body is reacting.
Lamactil may be my only choice at this point due to the akathisia. If I drink a ton of water and try to flush water out of my body, will that help? Or am I just bloated forever no matter what I do? Please help, I want my body back :( Based on the context, the disorder may be: Bipolar | Bipolar |
The Patient statement is: everything falls apart because i destroy my life annually. I'm not sure why, but i want to kill myself now. Tomorrow i either die, go to the psych ward or try to go to work and move forward. I'm sick of living like this. Based on the context, the disorder may be: Suicide | Suicide |
The Patient statement is: Made my first therapist appointment tomorrow night. Taking my boyfriend with me for moral support. I can’t do this anymore.
What did you do to get through the anxiety of opening up? Based on the context, the disorder may be: Depression | Depression |
The Patient statement is: You are Taking a Gamble I notice that the majority of you lot here is below 30s and one way or another you are disgruntled with life and want to end it all.
I am in my mid- 40s. A couple of decades ago, I was in the same shoe as you, severely depressed and wanting to end it all with many attempts under my belt. I took the gamble and went to the psychiatrist and was put on a buffet of meds. I got better for a while and then the meds would stop working prompting a change to another prescription. This went on and on. Tat said, during the times that I feel OK, I did experience success in my career and have many fantastic experiences.
Fast forward to today, no med work for me any more and I am in constant torture. I will be ending it. I guess what I wish to say is , try to get well when you are still young, take that gamble but be very wary of the meds you are taking as it can come back to bite you like you can never imagine. good luck Based on the context, the disorder may be: Suicide | Suicide |
The Patient statement is: Feeling like I'm drowning Background: I've always dreamed of being a scientist. However we are not nearly rich enough to afford more than one year of a good school with no help. Just had a dreadful conversation with my mom in which she tried to convince me to settle and just go to our local college. She doesn't understand why I don't want to do that.
I have always had a clear plan for my future, but it's super fucking ridiculously hard to achieve. Besides, when does anything ever turn up as planned?
So yeah, life is terrifying, nothing is certain, nothing I can will change that. So what do I do now? How do I do anything, realising that?
To add to that shit, unrequited love sucks.
On a scale of 1-10, considering cutting again at about 8 right now. It's raining and also midnight so I can't go for a run like I usually do.
Edit: That results in me feeling like I can't breath. I can't bring myself to speak to anyone. Numbness and panic fill me at the same time. Drowning. Based on the context, the disorder may be: Depression | Depression |
The Patient statement is: Advice? Solidarity? I'm not suicidal, but I feel like i shouldn't be alive... [deleted] Based on the context, the disorder may be: Anxiety | Anxiety |
The Patient statement is: Escitalopram withdrawal It's been a week since I stopped and at first I was feeling totally fine, but now that the drug is probably gone from my system I feel like garbage. I get random hot flashes and my hands feel all tingly. I'm either so cranky or so sad and I just have these random crying spells. Right now I'm just so angry and I don't even know why. Everything seems like so much effort- eating, showering, brushing my teeth... I feel like I can't take care of myself. I hope things balance out soon.. Based on the context, the disorder may be: Anxiety | Anxiety |
The Patient statement is: I just want to leave and never come back [deleted] Based on the context, the disorder may be: Bipolar | Bipolar |
The Patient statement is: I still can’t cry I feel like the majority of my posts involve me complaining about not being able to cry. I want to cry. I want to feel all the things crying makes one feel. I want the tears pouring down and the snot dripping and that feeling of release. The pit in my stomach to just dissipate after a good cry. I know this is incredibly weird but when it feels like I’m experiencing fake emotions every day of my life I just want to feel something real for a change. Based on the context, the disorder may be: Depression | Depression |
The Patient statement is: Reposting from /r/Anxiety; I got no response there. Mild social anxiety getting in the way of work
So I need to earn some extra cash. Well not need, but want. It will help. My university campus is involved in JoyRun, a service in which volunteers make trips to fast food places for students and deliver. I have delivered a little bit before and done just fine. But I've been to anxious to do it the last several weeks. The app interface is awful. I'm afraid to fuck up someone's order. I bought extra paper bags to help organize customers' food and bottles of soda to offer if I screw up. But I still am afraid to get in my car and start accepting orders. I tell myself it's because of the bad app interface, but other "Runners" do just fine. They don't seem to care or give a fuck if they fuck up; they just deal with it if/when it happens. But I can't even make it that far. Well I can. But I'm too cowardly to get the practice I need to get there. Based on the context, the disorder may be: Depression | Depression |
The Patient statement is: Difference between hypomania and normalcy? Hi! I’ve posted on this sub a few times and got some great help and now I’ve officially been diagnosed as BP2, and I’m a little confused about whether I’m hypomanic right now or just...okay?
The doctor put me on Risperdal about a week ago to stabilize my mood before she reintroduces me to Lamictal. I haven’t been sad or depressed since starting it and I’ve been in a pretty good mood.
But I can’t tell if I’m normal or hypomanic right now? I’m not sleeping as much as usual so maybe 6-7 hours of sleep, but in the beginning of the week it was more like 4-5, with no naps during the day. I set a lot of goals for 2018, all of which aren’t really out of the ordinary in my opinion. I couldn’t sleep one night so I studied the Korean alphabet because I was curious. But I think that’s it.
I talked to a therapist and told them about how when I’m in a REALLY good mood (prob hypomania) I can physically see the world differently, like the world has a bright filter on it. But I haven’t had that feeling this week.
Can someone break down hypomania vs normalcy for me? I know everyone’s different but I’m very confused. I can easily recognize the depression aspect of BP2 because I’m depressed majority of the time so this feeling is kind of strange and new to me. Based on the context, the disorder may be: Bipolar | Bipolar |
The Patient statement is: Here I go again I’ve got to say, this is the eighth time this week. I’m gonna purge again and I’d rather that no one close know. I just...need to get this off my chest. Ha! Based on the context, the disorder may be: Expressing | Expressing |
The Patient statement is: Why should i even try to live anymore? There really is no point to my existence. It hurts me, it hurts those around me. Im just a fucking NEET tranny slob with no redeeming qualities. What the fuck is the point Based on the context, the disorder may be: Suicide | Suicide |
The Patient statement is: Seroquel XR I am wondering what your experience has been coming off seroquel XR 300 Mg. I have been taking it for 3 years. I also have been working night shift and will continue to do so. Were you switched to a new med to help with sleep? Thanks so much I ask slowly weaning down Based on the context, the disorder may be: Bipolar | Bipolar |
The Patient statement is: I’m having extreme difficulty getting out of my head. [deleted] Based on the context, the disorder may be: Bipolar | Bipolar |
The Patient statement is: Does anyone else feel a sense of calm and peace when thinking about suicide? I do, and it scares me. I used to feel panicked and anxious when thinking about suicide and, which would end up in a decent crying session.
For a while now however, I just feel calm and relieved when thinking about it. It's nice to feel that there's always a solution available if things go badly wrong, or if I'm too stressed, when all my life I've only heard to just suck it up and keep moving on to fuck things up all over again.
I just want to know if anyone else has had this, because thinking like that scares me. I don't want to end it, I know my family cares about me, and I don't want them to suffer.
I've had these thoughts for a long time now. The difference is that I don't think negatively about suicide now.
Thank you for taking the time for reading, please share your thoughts/experience if you can and want to. It would help me feel I'm not alone. Based on the context, the disorder may be: Suicide | Suicide |
The Patient statement is: Can Nicotine Cause Panic Attacks? I vape E-juice in e-cigarette mods and i'd always had the no nicotine kind. I upped it to the lowest dose of nicotine because i thought it would be more pleasureable. Low and behold, the first time i try it yesterday, within an hour i'm in a full on panic attack with numbness in my arms and legs. Mind you i was researching Nicotine on Dr. Google, and everything it said it could cause, I thought I was getting, so it may not have been the nicotine at all.
Today the same process repeated exactly. Vaped the nicotine, started researching bad things about nicotine, went into a full blown panic attack.
I've heard that Nicotine is a stimulant and can theoretically be anxiety inducing. What is your experience with nicotine, and what do you think is going on with me? Is it researching it after the fact and getting myself worked up thats doing it? I'd hate to think i spent all this money on vape stuff only for it to be a giant waste, but I don't want to be having panic attacks every day too.
Thanks Based on the context, the disorder may be: Anxiety | Anxiety |
The Patient statement is: I broke my own rule and disclosed my illness to my boss today. We've been working together for 6 months and I made it through a depressive episode without telling him. I wasn't gonna. And then today I decided "why not?" He was talking about taking medication for ADHD and about how he thinks it messes with his perception and makes him think other people are upset with him when they aren't, and how he sees that in me and we were talking about how to manage it.
I feel good. I feel safe. I feel like I did the right thing. Based on the context, the disorder may be: Bipolar | Bipolar |
The Patient statement is: I dont want to be wageslave I don't want to be wageslave. Most people work their asses off and strugge to make ends meet. Life doesnt make sense if its only about work. Should i kill myself if i don't want to become a wageslave? Based on the context, the disorder may be: Suicide | Suicide |
The Patient statement is: I’m depressed because I will never find the girl of my dreams. [deleted] Based on the context, the disorder may be: Depression | Depression |
The Patient statement is: Just need to say stuff I have lurked here every now and then, but I feel like I just gotta get some stuff out. I’ve been going to college and was set to graduate this may, but I realized I hate my major and I kinda just shut down, I totally did nothing for my online class and I skipped all classes for the last four weeks. I still live at home, feel like i can’t y’all to my family because I can’t handle their pity/disappointment. I feel numb, instead of school I’ll just get in my car and drive aimlessly for hours till it’s time to come home, so I can do nothing g but stay up till 2 am and sleep till noon. I’ve lost all interest in my hobbies and have no friends that are home, and when they are home all we do is drink, last time we hung out I drank so much I puked all over myself in my friends basement, I don’t even remember it. For literally the past 2 weeks I tell myself I’ll tell someone what I’m going through, but I can’t. I hate what my life has become, but at least I know I won’t get pity here, can’t stand the thought of pity, don’t know why Based on the context, the disorder may be: Depression | Depression |
The Patient statement is: Thoughts on suicide First off I am safe. I m no harm to myself or others nor is this an actual plan and more of a rant.
My friend's husband just committed suicide. They just had his funeral, I wasn't able to attend because I just found out through facebook. But I have to say I don't think I would commit suicide. Not for the reasons you would think but I have been on scenes of attempted suicides and successful suicides (I am a first responder) and there is too much room for error. I think I would starve myself let myself wither away. It would let me think it through and less likely to recover. Plus less trauma for others. People don't notice when I don't eat except my trainer but that's only because my performance goes down. I could drop him and boom. Sure later on they would but compromised immune system and weakened state. But again I am safe and love life it is a passing thought I needed to get off my chest. Based on the context, the disorder may be: Expressing | Expressing |
The Patient statement is: I don't what do, this dumb depression has taken everything from me Even music has become bleak and doesn't bring me consolation
Nothing
Literally nothing
I forgot what it's like to be at least remotely content
I'm so disgusted when I look in the mirror
I'm a horrible person
Pills don't help
I'm sitting outside my house and it's 2am, I don't want to go back to my room where everything is gonna be the same, another sleepless night, and then another worthless day
I feel so helpless, life throws at me every opportunity I wanted
I study at the best university in my country
I've got an opportunity to do an amazing job
I had hobbies and was good at them, people liked my work and complemented me
And it doesn't bring me any emotions
But any minor inconvenience or a tiny sad thing simply ruins me for days
I don't know what to do
I just wanna drop out of uni, abandon my family and go on a bender which will hopefully end my life
I can't do this anymore
Every night is a torture Based on the context, the disorder may be: Depression | Depression |
The Patient statement is: I keep pushing people away... Idek what is wrong with me but I get very out of touch with what is happening and keep thinking people are pushing me away or don't want me. They do but I keep telling myself they don't which leads to fight which leads us to drifting a little. Can anyone help me? Based on the context, the disorder may be: Suicide | Suicide |
The Patient statement is: do i need medication? Hello all.
Since my parents do not believe in mental illnesses, I (a guy, 20 years old) never went to get any sort of treatment for my ADHD (trouble concentrating, constantly moving and tapping) or - let's say it this way as I never received a diagnosis - anxiety-like symptoms, which include (but are not limited to) heavy insecurity especially around women (leading me to the solicitation of prostitutes and avoiding people if I have the slightest feelings for them) and double-checking everything because I am afraid I might have done it wrong.
I feel like it is getting in the way of leading a normal life as I feel like I am unable to start (sexual) relationships. Would medication change anything? Do any other men (or women) here have the same problem? Is it possible to become more "normal" (less peculiar, less obviously insecure and """weird""" as some call it) through the use of meds, oppress the over-thinking and just be more blunt?
tl;dr: Can medication make you a more confident-seeming/secure person? Based on the context, the disorder may be: Anxiety | Anxiety |
The Patient statement is: Just don’t care today - cold and logical ... [deleted] Based on the context, the disorder may be: Bipolar | Bipolar |
The Patient statement is: After 1 year with no job, I finally got one only to quit this morning after working half a shift. I’m so embarrassed.
After over a year of hospital stays, manic episodes and what not, I finally felt well enough to apply for a job at a salon I have been going to and I was hired the same day! I was so proud and excited! I told my friends and family and my sister even took me out for drinks to celebrate.
Then came Monday and it was just a training day. My anxiety got the best of me and didn’t sleep at all Sunday night but I think I did well on Monday except for a few times I think I talked way more than I should have and possibly said some stupid shit. So then I was scheduled to work again today. I haven’t slept this entire time, I’m manic and have had 3 panic attacks. I’m obviously not ready yet and I feel like such an asshole for even trying. I sent a stupid long text to the girl that hired me apologizing but basically saying I can’t do it.
So I sit here typing this and crying my eyeballs out because I failed again and feel like I really am letting people down. Again.
Setting up a therapy appointment as soon as they open this morning...
Edit: I don’t think you guys will ever know how much your words of encouragement mean to me. I’m crying again but this time from thankfulness. ❤️ Based on the context, the disorder may be: Bipolar | Bipolar |
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