english: Some of those things that I used to find really calming or distracting, and even found so much so that I wrote them down, I go to open and realize all I can think of is the friend I used to enjoy it with (who is maybe no longer in my life, or lives far away and and has multiple jobs, making the contact we do have sparse and hard to keep up), or a part in my life where I wasn't struggling this much, and so on.
non_english: うぐぅうぐぅうぐぅうぐぅうぐぅうぐぅうぐぅうぐぅうぐぅうぐぅうぐぅうぐぅうぐぅうぐぅうぐぅうぐぅうぐぅうぐぅうぐぅうぐぅうぐぅうぐぅうぐぅうぐぅうぐぅうぐぅうぐぅうぐぅうぐぅうぐぅうぐぅうぐぅうぐぅうぐぅうぐぅうぐぅうぐぅうぐぅうぐぅうぐぅうぐぅうぐぅぅうぐぅうぐぅぐ～ぐ～ぐ～。。。。