english: I had a hideous night last night, I was feeling truly desperate and really struggling a lot, and so I was exhausted and very tense by my appointment this morning, and to be honest I went in there wanting to die far more than I wanted to get better.
non_english: うぐぅうぐぅうぐぅうぐぅうぐぅうぐぅうぐぅうぐぅうぐぅうぐぅうぐぅうぐぅうぐぅうぐぅうぐぅうぐぅうぐぅうぐぅうぐぅうぐぅうぐぅうぐぅうぐぅうぐぅうぐぅうぐぅうぐぅうぐぅうぐぅうぐぅうぐぅうぐぅうぐぅうぐぅうぐぅうぐぅうぐぅうぐぅうぐぅうぐぅうぐぅうぐぅぅうぐぅうぐぅぐ～ぐ～ぐ～。。。。