english: I carry this guilt in a deep place within myself, and can feel it from time to time, when I make eye contact with those I care about, or I feel it in moments where I know I could have been feeling better/looking better and thus doing, living and being more, but have compromised myself, my life and living because of the disorder.
non_english: うぐぅうぐぅうぐぅうぐぅうぐぅうぐぅうぐぅうぐぅうぐぅうぐぅうぐぅうぐぅうぐぅうぐぅうぐぅうぐぅうぐぅうぐぅうぐぅうぐぅうぐぅうぐぅうぐぅうぐぅうぐぅうぐぅうぐぅうぐぅうぐぅうぐぅうぐぅうぐぅうぐぅうぐぅうぐぅうぐぅうぐぅうぐぅうぐぅうぐぅうぐぅうぐぅぅうぐぅうぐぅぐ～ぐ～ぐ～。。。。