english: Because of those letters and what they shared with me, their stories of teen life, they gave me the permission, they gave me the courage to admit to myself that there were reasons -- not excuses -- but that there were reasons for that fateful day in October of 1999; that the trauma associated with living in a community where guns are easier to get than sneakers; that the trauma associated with being raped at gunpoint at the age of 14; that those are reasons for me why making that decision, that fatal decision, was not an unlikely proposition.
non_english: Zbog tih pisama i onoga što su delili sa mnom, tih priča o tinejdžerskom životu, dali su mi dozvolu, dali su mi hrabrost da priznam sebi da su postojali razlozi - a ne izgovori - da su postojali razlozi za taj kobni dan oktobra 1999. godine; da trauma vezana za život u društvu gde su pištolji dostupniji nego patike; da trauma vezana za silovanje pod nišanom sa 14 godina; da su to moji razlozi zašto takva vrsta odluke, takva fatalna odluka, nije bila neverovatna opcija.