Read the following excerpt from a student essay. How can the writer best improve his or her grammar and mechanics?
When I'm asked to name my favorite teacher, I immediately think of Mr. Sweeney. In fifth grade, Mr. Sweeney taught us all about architecture he had the class start by learning to measure things very accurately. We studied environmentally friendly building methods, and we designed and built our own homes of the future. Mr. Sweeney was always fun and interesting, he believed that we could do more than we thought we could do. He helped me break boundaries in my life, he was a positive influence on me and will always be one of the most inspirational people in my life.
by using correct verb tenses by fixing run-on sentences
During peer review, you read and respond to a fellow student's writing. While there are many methods and strategies that you can use for reviewing a text, it is generally helpful to frame your suggestions in concrete and constructive ways and to consider the following areas for revision:
Ideas and development: Does the writer express a clear idea and develop it with evidence, examples, or analysis?
Organization: Does the writer order ideas in a clear, logical way so that they build on one another and are easy to follow?
Voice: Does the writer maintain an appropriate voice, such as a formal and objective voice in an academic essay or an engaging and expressive voice in a narrative essay?
Sentence fluency: Does the writer use sentences that vary in structure and length to create a sense of rhythm and flow within and between sentences, or does the writing sound choppy, rambling, or repetitive?
Word choice: Does the writer use words accurately and precisely to create clear, effective, and engaging writing?
Grammar and mechanics: Does the writer follow appropriate conventions, using accurate spelling, punctuation, and grammar to create writing that is correct and easy to read?
The writer could best improve his or her grammar and mechanics by fixing run-on sentences.
For example, the writer could divide each of the underlined run-on sentences into two complete sentences.
When I'm asked to name my favorite teacher, I immediately think of Mr. Sweeney. In fifth grade, Mr. Sweeney taught us all about architecture he had the class start by learning to measure things very accurately. We studied environmentally friendly building methods, and we designed and built our own homes of the future. Mr. Sweeney was always fun and interesting, he believed that we could do more than we thought we could do. He helped me break boundaries in my life, he was a positive influence on me and will always be one of the most inspirational people in my life.