John  Bigelow  (the  ex-Minister  Plenipotentiary),  In
his  endeavour  to  establish  my  claims  as  a  fit  and
proper  person  to  represent  the  borough,  Mr.  Dickens
instanced  the  fact  that  I  had  no  hair  on  the  top  of  my
head,  whereas  the  rival  candidate  being  plentifully
supplied  with  that  article,  could  not  be  considered  a
desirable  person  to  represent  any  borough  in  the  House
of  Commons.  After  he  had  finished  his  speech,  which
was  of  the  most  ludicrous  description.  Fields  com-
menced his,  but  was  never  allowed  to  finish  it,  for  he
was  continually  interrupted  by  Mr.  Dickens  in  a  variety
of  voices  and  cries,  such  as,  "  Down  with  the  hairy
aristocracy !  "  "  Up  with  the  chap  with  the  shiny
top  1  "  &c.,  the  whole  resulting  in  such  an  uproar  that
poor  Fields  had  no  chance.  The  outbursts  of  laughter
were  so  loud  and  continuous,  and  the  side-splitting  pain
so  great  in  consequence,  that  it  was  with  sheer  exhaus-
tion that  we  all  gave  up  and  retired  for  the  night.
10


CHAPTER  IX.
THE   CLOSE   OF  THE  AMERICAN  TOUR,   AND  THE
RETURN   HOME.
