"  But  I  Jiave  told  you  many  times,  my  darling,  that
I  ^','ould  not  accept  a  status  as  your  wife  at  any  cost  to
30U  or  to  them — and  I  can  read  between  the  lines,  even

450


THE    COMMON   LAW


if  I  did  not  know,  what  it  would  cost  them  and  you.
And  so,  very  gently,  and  with  a  heart  full  of  gratitude
and  love   for  you,  I  must   decline  this   public  honour.
"  But,  God  willing,  I  shall  not  decline  a  lifetime
devoted  to  you  when  you  are  not  with  them.  That  is
all  I  can  hope  for ;  and  it  is  so  much  more  than  I  ever
dreamed  of  having,  that,  to  have  you  at  all — even  for
a  part  of  the  time — even  for  a  part  of  my  life,  is  enough.
And  I  say  it  humbly,  reverently,  without  ignoble  envy
or  discontent  for  what  might  have  been  had  you  and  I
been  born  to  the  same  life  amid  the  same  surroudings.
"  Don't  write  to  me  again,  dear,  until  I  have  de-
termined what  is  best  for  us.  Before  the  first  day  of
summer,  or  on  that  day,  you  will  know.     And  so  will  I.
'"  My  life  is  such  a  little  thing  compared  to  yours —
of  such  slight  value  and  worth  that  sometimes  I  think
I  am  considering  matters  too  deeply — that  if  I  simply
fling  it  in  the  scales  the  balance  will  scarcely  be  altered
— the  splendid,  even  tenor  of  j'our  career  will  scarcely
swerve  a  shade.
