Miss  W and  her  sister  seemed  to  prefer  to  go  about

together,  with  me  as  an  occasional  third,  and  Miss  Ginity
and  several  of  her  new  acquaintances  made  a  second  com-
pany, with  whom  I  occasionally  walked.  Thus  the  distribu-
tion of  my  attentions  was  in  no  danger  of  immediate  detection
and  I  went  gayly  on.
260


A  BOOK  ABOUT  MYSELF  261

A  peculiar  characteristic  at  this  time  and  later  was  that
I  never  really  expected  any  of  these  relationships  to  endure.
Marriage  might  be  well  enough  for  the  aVerage  man  but  it
never  seemed  to  me  that  I  Should  endure  in  it,  that  it  would
permanently  affect  my  present  free  relationship  with  the
world.  I  might  be  greatly  grieved  at  times  in  a  high  emotional
way  because  they  could  not  last,  but  that  was  rising  to  heights
of  sentiment  which  puzzled  even  myself.  One  of  the  things
which  troubled  and  astonished  me  was  that  I  could  like  two,
three,  and  even  more  women  at  the  same  time,  like  them  very
much  indeed.  It  seemed  strange  that  I  could  yearn  over  them,
now  one  and  now  another.  A  good  man,  I  told  myself,  -(Irould
not  do  this.  The  thought  would  never  occur  to  him,  or  if
it  did  he  would  repress  it  sternly.  Obviously,  if  not  pro-
foundly evil  I  was  a  freak  and  had  best  keep  my  peculiar
thoughts  and  desires  to  myself  if  I  wanted  to  have  anything
to  do  with  good  people.  I  should  be  entirely  alone,  perhaps
even  seized  upon  by  the  law.
