Jacob. Well, Phelim carries a light heel, and the second
female of his choice on this list carries a ' light hand ' ;
it is therefore but natural to suppose that, if ever they are
driven to extremities, they will make light of many
things which other people would consider of weighty
moment. Whether FH>elim and she may long remain
stationary in this country is a problem more likely to be
solved at the county assizes then here. It is not
improbable that his Majesty may recommend the patri-
arch and one of his wives to try the benefit of a voyage to
New South Wales, he himself graciously vouchsafing
to bear their expenses."

" Divil a lie in that, anyhow ! If ever any one crossed
the wather, Phelim will. Can't his reverence be funny
when he plases ? "

" Many a time it was prophecized for him ; an' his
reverence knows best."

" B^ad, Phelim's gettin' over the coals. But sure,
it's all the way the father an' mother reared him."

" Tundher-an'-turf, is he goin' to be called to a pair
o' them ? "

" Faix, so it seems."

" Oh, the divil's clip ! Is he mad ? But let us hear
it out."

" The third damsel is by no means so well adapted
for Phelim as either of the other two. What she could
have seen in him is another problem much more difficult
than the one I have mentioned. I would advise her to
recoiKider the subject, and let Phelim have the full
benefit of the attention she may bestow upon it. If
she finds the patriarch possessed of but one virtue,
except necessity, I will admit that it is pretty certain



PHELIM O'TOOLE'S COURTSHIP. 129

that she will soon discover the longitude, and that has
puzzled the most learned men of the world. If she
marries this patriarch, I think the angds who may
visit him will come in shape of policemen ; and that
Phelim, so long as he can find a cudgel, will give them
an3rthing but a patriarchal reception, is another thing
of which we may rest pretty certain.
