You say it is not you who did such crazy, horrible
things, and you are right. When this poor woman
who is so painted and greasy first caught you, when
you began to give your money and your time and
your life to her, when she got you into this horrible
marriage with her, you were blind — ^you went stag-
gering, in a bad dream; your soul hid away, far
down inside you, with its hands over its face. If it
could have once stood straight, if the eyes of your
body could have once been clean for it to look through,
if you could have once been as you are to-day, or
as you were when you were a little child, you would
have cry out with horror both of her and of yourself.
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN 245

as you do now; and you would have run away from
her and from everything you had put in your hfe.
But, in your suffering you must rejoice: the triumph
is that yom: mind hates that old hfe as greatly as
your soul hates it. You are as good as if you had
never been the wild fellow — ^yes, the wicked fellow —
that you were. For a man who shakes off his siu
is clean; he stands as pure as if he had never sinned.
