But  now  I'm  afraid  —  afraid  of  getting  lost."  Slowly  she
straightened  up,  her  hands  falling  into  her  lap.  I  seized  them
again,  I  was  on  my  knees  in  front  of  her,  before  the  fire,
and  she,  intent,  looking  down  at  me,  into  me,  through  me  —
it  seemed  —  at  something  beyond  which  yet  was  me.
"  Hugh,"  she  asked,  "  what  do  you  believe  ?    Anything  ? "

"What  do  I  believe?"

"Yes.  I  don't  mean  any  cant,  cut-and-dried  morality.
The  world  is  getting  beyond  that.  But  have  you,  in  your
secret  soul,  any  religion  at  all  ?  Do  you  ever  think  about  it?
I'm  not  speaking  about  anything  orthodox,  but  some  religion
—  even  a  tiny  speck  of  it,  a  germ  —  harmonizing  with  life,
with  that  power  we  feel  in  us  we  seek  to  express  and  con-
tinually violate."

"Nancy!"  I  exclaimed.
"Answer  me  —  answer  me  truthfully,"  she  said.  .  ..
I  was  silent,  my  thoughts  whirling  like  dust  atoms  in  a
storm.
"You  have  always  taken  things  —  taken  what  you  wanted.
But  they  haven't  satisfied  you,  convinced  you  that  that  is
all  of  Ufe."

"Do  you  mean  —  that  we  shoidd  renounce?"  I  faltered.
"  I  don't  know  what  I  mean.  I  am  asking,  Hugh,  —
asking.  Haven't  you  any  clew?  Isn't  there  any  voice  in
you,  anywhere,  deep  down,  that  can  tell  me?  give  me  a
hint?  just  a  little  one?  "

I  was  wracked.    My  passion  had  not  left  me,  it  seemed


A  FAR  COUNTRY  379

to  be  heightened,  and  I  pressed  her  hands  against  her  knees.
