Miss Fanny of the Bath road, strictly speaking, lived
at a mile's distance from that road, but came so con-
tinually to meet the mail, that I on my frequent transits
rarely missed her, and naturally connected her name
with the great thoroughfare where I saw her ; I do not
exactly know, but I believe with some burthen of com-
missions to be executed in Bath, her own residence
being probably the centre to which these commissions



ENGLISH MAIL-COACH. 149

gathered. The mail coachman, who wore the royal
livery, being one amongst the privileged few, ^ hap-
pened to be Fanny's grandfather. A good man he
was, that loved his beautiful granddaughter ; and,
loving her wisely, was vigilant over her deportment in
any case where young Oxford might happen to be
concerned. Was I then vain enough to imagine that I
myself, individually, could fall within the line of his
terrors ? Certainly not, as regarded any physical
pretensions that L could plead ; for Fanny (as a
chance passenger from her own neighborhood once
told me) counted in her traih a hundred and ninety-
nine professed admirers, if not open aspirants to her
favor ; and probably not one of the whole brigade but
excelled myself in personal advantages. Ulysses even,
with the unfair advantage of his accursed bow, could
hardly have undertaken that amount of suitors. So
the danger might have seemed slight — only that
woman is universally aristocratic ; it is amongst her
nobilities of heart that she is so. Now, the aristocratic
distinctions in my favor might easily with Miss Fanny
have compensated my physical deficiencies. Did I
then make love to Fanny ? Why, yes ; mats oui
done ; as much love as one can make whilst the mail
is changing horses, a process which ten years later did
not occupy above eighty seconds ; but then, viz., about
Warterloo, it occupied five times eighty. Now, four
hundred seconds offer a field quite ample enough for
whispering into a young woman's ear a great deal of
truth : and (by way of parenthesis) some trifle of
falsehood. Grandpapa did right, therefore, to watch
me. And yet, as happens too often to the grandpapas



150 ENGLISH MAIL-COACH.
