Should  you  not  see  a  doctor?  '

Sir  W.  '  Was  ever  a  man  so  misunderstood  !  I  was  making
you  an  offer  of  marriage. '

LcBtitia.   '  But  you  are  engaged  to  Clara. '

Sir  W.  '  Clara  asked  me  to  release  her  after  lunch.  It's  true  I
refused,  but  what  of  that?  Lsetitia,  you  are  ever  faithful.  You
shall  marry  me.'

LcBtitia.   '  Thank  you ;    I  'd  rather  not. '

Sir  W.  '  Lsetitia,  you  amaze  me.  I  ask  you  to  marry  me,  marry
me.'     (He  brandishes  a  test-tube.)

LcBtitia.  '  Do  be  careful.  I  am  sure  something  will  explode.
Please  put  that  nasty  thing  down.'

Sir  W.    '  Not  unless  you  promise  to  be  mine.'

Lcetitia.   '  Never. '

Sir  W.   '  Ah  !  '

(In  his  emotion  he  drops  the  test-tube,  which  blows  up  with  a
loud  report.     Sir  W.  falls  prone.)

LcEtitia.  '  Clumsy  man !  I  knew  he  would.  Thank  goodness
that  settles  him.  How  pleased  Clara  will  be.  Now  she  will  be
able  to  marry  Mr.  Whitford.  It's  a  poor  explosion  that  blows  no-
body any  good.'     (Exit.     Curtain.)

Mr.  Owen  Seaman's  parodies  of  Mr.  Meredith's  prose  style,  in
the  form  of  single  paragraphs  instead  of  a  complete  story,  which
appear  in  his  '  Borrowed  Plumes  '  were  also  first  published  in
Punch.  A  few  of  the  happiest  of  Mr.  Seaman's  hits  may  here  be
quoted  :

In  the  vestibule  of  Adolescence,  the  Boy  stands  at  plastic  pause,
clay-soft  to  the  imposed  Idea.  This  is  the  Propagandist's  hour;
then,  or  never,  the  Vegetarian  has  his  chance.
A  woman  more  nosingly  fastidious  of  essentials,  you  might  waste
a  season  of  Church  Parades  and  never  come  up  with.  Yet  she
married  her  husband  for  his  gift  of  digesting  Welsh  Rabbit.
