interest, the best road to the mitre. These two achievements were liberally paid; so I took a lodging in a first floor, and resolved to make a bold stroke for a wife. What do you think I did?— nay, never guess, it would be hopeless. First, I went to the best tailor, and had my clothes sewn on my back; secondly, I got the peerage and its genealogies by heart; thirdly, I marched one night, with the coolest deliberation possible, into the house of a duchess, who was giving an immense rout! The newspapers had inspired me with this idea. I had read of the vast crowds which a lady at home sought to win to her house. I had read of staircases inaccessible, and ladies carried out in a fit; and common sense told me how impossible it was that the fair receiver should be acquainted with the legality of every importation. I therefore resolved to try my chance, and— entered the body of Augustus Tomlinson, as a piece of stolen goods. Faith! the first night I was shy, — I stuck to the staircase, and ogled an old maid of quality, whom I had heard announced as Lady Margaret Sinclair. Doubtless she had never been ogled before; and she was evidently enraptured with my glances. The next night I read of a ball at the Countess of My heart beat as if I were going to be whipped; but I plucked up courage, and repaired to her ladyship's. There I again beheld the fair Lady Margaret: and, observing that she turned yellow, by way of a blush, when she saw me, I profited by the port I had drunk as an encouragement to my entrée, and lounging up in the most modish way possible, I reminded her ladyship of an introduction with which I said I had once been honoured at the Duke of Dashwood's, and requested her hand for the next cotillon. Oh, Paul! fancy my triumph! the old damsel said, with a sigh, 'She remembered me very well.' Ha! ha! ha! and I carried her off to the cotillon like another Theseus carrying away a second Ariadne. 