On introduction she gazed at me as if struck dumb. If she had been
better-looking (1 thought her vulgar and puffy) I would have been
flattered. I was disappointed, but rather frightened (she had a stage
presence) of her professional ability, especially when we commenced to
rehearse. I had to make love to her, too, which embarrassed me. She
had a good profile, I noticed, and would have been better looking, I
thought, if she were in better condition, for she was young, about my
own age, twenty-three or four. We were all young — enjoyed our re-
liearsals, and had lots of fun — but I did not respond to the advances
A. was evidently making to me. Finally we started on our toui". As
the weeks went on A. F., like the others, improved wonderfully in
health and appearance. If we had had anything like houses it would
have been a pleasant trip. My strangeness did not escape the notice of
the boys altogether, for I was still a bit strange in mind and nerves —
and deeply religious, bowing my head before each meal and reading my
little Bible and prayer-book at odd times. I drank no alcohol. I spent
a good deal of time by myself or with my faithful companion A., who
was nearly always at my side, she and her appealing eyes. I was sur-
prised to see how quickly she had improved; she looked quite attrac-
tive and ladylike some evenings at meals, but 1 only tolerated her. 1
was selfish and conceited.
