"In the morning, he was puzzled. He wanted a great sacrifice of a purineple, dear to his heart, but he'd used most of them already, and he felt that this was no time for second-hand or slightly damaged sacrifices. So he sends for House, 'Colonel,' says he, 'What purineiple d'ye think would be and acceptable sacrifice in this great more luring??' he asks anxiously.
"Whisper,' says the Colonel. And he said was word in Wudthrow's ear, and faded silently away through the door.
"For what an instant Wudthrow studied spellbound. Then he burst into a whoop; "The 'Ram in the Bushes,' cries he wild tears in his eyes.
"T'wis an impressive ceremony when the sacrifice was solemnly used at the Capitol.
"The procession started from the White House with the President walking ahead carrying the Ram in his hand and a box of Safety First matches in the other. He was followed by a coon bearing four gold puns, and behind came four Union Chiefs riding on milk white steeds followed by a group of Railroad Presidents, Stockholders, Farmers, Shippers, and Consumers, loaded with chains. After a short sermon to Congress on 'Purging' the Heart,' the President laid the Ram on the altar, and impressively stabbed it."  With the four gold pens while the choir sang Holy, Holy, Holy, Holy. The Prisi-dint handed the gold pens to the four chiefs with a bow; Jim Ham lit the wood and wiped up the blood, and the sacredness was complete. 