"Don't  you  see,"  she  continued  pleadingly,  "don't  you
see  that  we  are  growing  apart?  That's  the  only  reason  I
said  what  I  did.  It  isn't  that  I  don't  trust  you,  that  I  don't
want  you  to  have  your  work,  that  I  demand  all  of  you.  I
know  a  woman  can't  ask  that,  —  can't  have  it.    But  if


308  A  FAR  COUNTRY

you  would  only  give  me  —  give  the  children  just  a  little,
if  I  could  feel  that  we  meant  something  to  you  and  that  —
this  other  wasn't  gradually  becoming  everything,  wasn't
absorbing  you  more  and  more,  killing  the  best  part  of  you.
It's  poisoning  our  marriage,  it's  poisoning  all  your  relation-
ships."

In  that  appeal  the  real  Maude,  the  Maude  of  the  early
days  of  our  marriage  flashed  forth  again  so  vividly  that  1
was  taken  aback.  I  understood  that  she  had  had  herself
under  control,  had  worn  a  mask  —  a  mask  I  had  forced  on
her;  and  the  revelation  of  the  continued  existence  of  that
other  Maude  was  profoundly  disturbing.  Was  it  true,  as
she  said,  that  my  absorption  in  the  great  game  of  modern
business,  in  the  modem  American  philosophy  it  implied
was  poisoning  my  marriage  ?  or  was  it  that  my  marriage  had
failed  to  satisfy  and  absorb  me?  I  was  touched — ^but
sentimentally  touched :  I  felt  that  this  was  a  situation  that
ought  to  touch  me ;  I  didn't  wish  to  face  it,  as  usual :  I
couldn't  acknowledge  to  myself  that  anything  was  really
wrong.  .  .  I  patted  her  on  the  shoulder,  I  bent  over  and
kissed  her.
