"In some cases," replied Congressman Hamm, "the proportion is something like 1,000 out of 1,000."
"Not in this line."
"Why did I?" Mr. Slicem refuse to operate on the Choll. "I found the trouble was in the skull, and said he was a surgeon, not an ivory carver."
Today's Best Hand-Pieked Joke.
An officer of the Department of Agriculture said a dinner in Washington:
"The farm, with its automobile and phonograph and telephone, is way enough now. The inn and even dreary farm life of the past has disappeared.
"The farm life of the past has disappeared."
"The divine spring morning in the past a farm boy rushed to his farmer daddy and said: "Oh, pop, the circus comes to town today! Will you commence a dime to go to see her?"
"Certainly not!" roared the farmer. "A dime to go to see the circus when only last winter I let you go up to the top of Jones Hill to see the eclipse of the moon." Do you think, you young folks, that life is one perpetual round of pleasure?" Washington Star.
Polly.
Let others sing the praises of their foreign-nurtured lasses,
The little maiden that I love
Their every charm surpasses;
For France's dainty Seraphine?
Or England's lovely Molly
Is not to be compared  To my Virginia Polly,
She doesn't know a wondrous lot
Of modern fads and fancies.
And doesn't vie? I fear she'd not
Shine in these new romances.
But she is such a merry elf.
So tender and so jolly.
That I'd surrender fame and pelf
For my Virginia Polly.
So fair is she, so wise is she,
So filled with contempt. 