The Great Cow Race
Jeff Smith
 Thorn, Gran'ma Ben and the Bone cousins attend the spring fair, an annual market and festival in the town that culminates in the Great Cow Race, a race which Gran'ma Ben always wins. Fone Bone is driven to jealousy when Tom, the handsome honey seller, flirts with Thorn, so he decides to get some honey for her himself. However, a gigantic bee defends his hive, getting into a fight with Fone Bone. He eventually gets the honey, but sees Thorn sharing some honey with Tom. Phoney and Smiley Bone continue their work at The Barrelhaven, with Phoney concocting a scheme to fix the cow race by sowing seeds of disquiet about Gran'ma Ben's fitness to compete. At the end, Thorn meets Tom at the fair, but finds he is with another girl. Phoney Bone's race-fixing scheme continues as he hypes his "Mystery Cow" (who is in fact Smiley Bone in an unconvincing cow costume) to draw bets from the townsfolk. That night, Thorn has a vivid dream in which she sees herself as a young child in a cave and surrounded by dragons. She tells Fone Bone the dream is a recurring one which has only started again since seeing his map. She is certain now that she was the one who drew it, many years earlier, and that her dream is in fact a childhood memory. The day of the Great Cow Race arrives, and Phoney Bone's scheme is threatened as Lucius Down convinces the townsfolk the Bones are deceiving them. This forces Phoney and Smiley to put on a charade to convince people the Mystery Cow is indeed a real, vicious and wild animal. Meanwhile, Fone Bone's attempt to write a love poem to Thorn is interrupted when the two Stupid, Stupid Rat Creatures catch up with him once again. Just as the race is about to begin, Lucius bets the Barrelhaven on Gran'ma Ben, causing Phoney Bone to climb into the cow suit with Smiley just as the race begins, with the intention of winning the race. During the race, however, Phoney causes them to fall off a cliff due to Gran'ma Ben attempting to unmask them, into a patrol of rat creatures. At this moment, The Stupid Stupid Rat Creatures chase Fone Bone into the path of the patrol as well, and the patrol chases them and their paths merge with the race. Everybody flees when they discover this (just as the race is about to end) and Gran'ma Ben wins. After the disastrous Cow Race, Phoney and Smiley are forced to work off their debts working at the Barrelhaven Tavern and repairing Gran'ma Ben's farm house. Lucius and Ben discuss the situation with the Bone cousins, the Rat Creatures and the Great Red Dragon. They suspect that although their arrival in the valley may have set off the attacks, they are not themselves to blame. A vignette centering on Smiley Bone and Lucius Down as they fix the roof of the farm house. Lucius is driven crazy by Smiley's half-witted cluelessness. Smiley reflects that his "village idiot" role hasn't changed much since leaving Boneville.