The Big Over Easy
Jasper Fforde
 The book begins a short time after Easter, and no one can remember the last sunny day. Mary Mary, a detective sergeant from Basingstoke (which is nothing to be ashamed of) is being transferred to Reading, Berkshire. She hopes to be paired up with Detective Chief Inspector Friedland Chymes, a member of the Detective's Guild with multiple appearances in the fictional magazine Amazing Crime Stories, but instead is paired up with Jack Spratt at the Nursery Crime Department, who is most famous for some giant killing (only one was technically a giant, the rest were just tall), and arresting the serial wife killer Bluebeard. Jack himself is living with his second wife, Madeleine,who moonlights as a photographer for certain prestigious events, and their five children: Pandora, Ben, Stevie, Jerome, and Megan. Madeleine is trying to rent the spare room in the house, but without much success. Jack's first wife could only eat fat and soon died. The day after Mary is transferred, Humpty Dumpty is discovered dead outside of his residence at Grimm's Road- fallen off the wall, apparently. Jack's Superintendent, Briggs, introduces him to Mary Mary at the crime scene. Jack interviews some possible witnesses, including Wee Willie Winkie, the insomniac neighbor; Ms. Hubbard, the owner of the boarding house where Humpty stayed; and Prometheus, the titan from Greek mythology, the latter of which Jack offers to rent the spare room in his house to. They all describe Humpty as a nice egg, who generally kept to himself. Upon inspection of Humpty's room, Jack and Mary find some rather odd clues: several shares in Spongg Footcare, Reading's Footcare empire, a picture of Humpty with a girlfriend in Vienna, and a strand of hair. Humpty Dumpty's wife is found to have committed suicide at the biscuit factory, but it is suspected that she has been murdered. The woman had jumped into a chocolate vat and was sliced by the machines, but when the employees stopped the machine, it was too late. The police of the Nursery Crime Division find a suicide note, but Mary concludes that it was written by his wife by comparing it to her diary. The proof of suicide also comes from a witnessing employee who saw her jump in, and no one pushed her. A few days later Jack and Mary team up with Superintendent Baker, Ashley (an alien who can only speak binary code) and forensic scientist Gretel Kandlestyck-Maeker. A few days later, the team are called in to investigate the recent death of Wee-Willy Winkie. He was attacked with a large weapon, supposedly a broadsword, and a fifty pound note was found in his hand, showing he was blackmailing the killer. Jack has his own problems at home when his mother calls him to sell a painting of a cow. Jack next interviews Randolph Spongg. Humpty had been investing in their failing businesses in hope of a breakthrough, which never came. The interview took place in Spongg's strange house, where doors lead nowhere, some rooms revolve around and go-kart races inside the house itself are held commonly every year. They next interview Lola Vavoom, who lives in the room next to Humpty Dumpty in the block of flats. At the end of the conversation she tells them that Humpty's shower had been running for a whole year, before his death. The two men break the door, and baker finds a skeleton in the shower. The man was identified as Tom Thomm, son of a local flautist. His skin had been washed away in the shower water, and his skeleton badly damaged, making it a hard case. Five bullet holes were found in the shower curtain, three waist height and two foot height. Gretel says that when he was shot in the waist, he fell on the floor, where the two other shots hit is head and he was killed. When Jack returns home, he tells his mother that the painting of the cow his mother wanted to sell was fake and he only received some beans in return. Mrs Spratt retorts that she had the painting valued years ago and that the auctioneer probably knows how incredibly valuable it is. She is so upset that she throws the beans out of the window, and Jack sees them bury into the ground by themselves. Jack is interviewed by work colleagues, and Friedland Chimes appears and warns Spratt that if he doesn't give the case to Chimes, he will be fired. Jack accepts that that may happen, and refuses to give the case away. Later on, they have a meeting with another industrialist, Solomon Grundy, whose wife is Rapunzel. When she takes off her hat and her hair falls to the ground, Spratt and Mary remember the hair found in Humpty's bedroom. Solomon shows them into a room with an abnormal amount of security. The security was so big that if a person went in, they had to wear no shoes in case of being detected. In the centre has a puzzle piece held in unbreakable glass. It has magic powers which he reveals to Jack and Mary by putting them on each side of the room. When Jack thought of a number, Mary said it out loud. This was so amazing that Solomon decided to put it on display for everyone in Reading. There is another interview at a hospital called Saint Cerebellum's, this time with mad scientist doctor Quatt, and on their way to meeting her Jack notices the serial killer the 'Gingerbread Man'. Jack had been chasing the killer in previous cases and had to witness his colleague having his arms ripped off, only for the local newspaper, the Gadfly, to say that Chimes had caught the 'Gingerbread Man'. The interview with Doctor Quatt only reveals that she was Humpty's doctor. The conversation ends with Quatt showing Jack and Mary her latest experiment: a kitten's head sewn onto the body of a haddock. When an inspector is put in charge of watching Spratt and the others, Humpty's car, the ford zephyr, is found. They were about to remove it from the garage it was found in, but Jack realises that the front headlight has removed and a wire was feeding through it. He orders everyone to run away and the car explodes. Spratt and Mary then interview a woman who was divorced from Humpty. She reveals that she killed Humpty out of jealousy by putting two poisonous tablets in his coffee. Jack then tells her that Humpty was pushed, not poisoned and that she is innocent. When Jack returns home, he finds that his mother has a huge crowd of people around the house, and says that the beans that were thrown from the window had grown into a huge stalk. She had even made arrangements for the magical celebrity, the Jellyman, to see it when he arrived in Reading. Jack is told by Gretel that Humpty Dumpty was shot by someone from behind, which smashed through his shell and burst the albumen, sending a shock which cracked the whole egg. When Mary, Spratt and the inspector enter Humpty's house, the question they have in mind is how did Humpty get his money? He had no proper job and all he did was invest in failing companies. This is soon answered when a goose that lays golden eggs is discovered on the sofa. On a further inspection, a giant verruca is found on another sofa. Jack then remembers a strange doctor, Horatio Carbuncle, who always made living things like the verruca. He killed Humpty Dumpty because he was investing in a company which got rid of verruca's. Humpty's wife killed herself because she thought that she had killed him, and Wee-Willy Winkie was killed because he was blackmailing him. Jack wasn't sure about Tom, but thought the evidence was good enough. Mary then calls him into the next room and shows him the body of Carbuncle, shot dead. Jack then remembered the verruca and the puzzle piece. If Randolph was the killer, he would have the best motive so that he could put the verruca under the floor of Solomon's room. Hundreds of people would come in bare-footed to see the puzzle piece, and the verruca would give off a gas which would infect all the peoples feet with verruca's. They would turn to the only foot care product, made by Randolph Spongg, and the failing company would make thousands. Jack is told that the man who shot Humpty was employed by Solomon Grundy, but Jack knows that Solomon is not the killer and sets off to find the real one, Randolph Spongg. Arriving at the house, the butler asks him to remove his mobile. The rooms become strange and it starts to revolve. Jack enters a normal room with a mirror next, but he cannot see himself in the reflection. He sees Randolph and Lola come out of a trapdoor, and turns round, but sees no-one. Randolph explains that this is his magic. Lola says that she is happy that Humpty is dead in the ford zephyr and reveals that she loves Randolph. Behind the two, the butler comes out of the trapdoor, but to Jack's surprise the butler is behind him. Jack is confused as he is standing in front of a mirror and can't see his reflection, but that of Randolph and Lola, and the butler is the only one with a reflection. Randolph puts a sandwich with tin foil inside on a table and shines a lamp on it. He explains that the sandwich will crumple up under the heat, and when the corners of the tin foil touch, the house will explode. When they leave, Jack realises that it is not a mirror at all, but glass. He breaks it and finds a room on the other side, made exactly backwards. The butler had a twin brother who appeared on the other side, looking like he had a reflection. Jack stops the bomb, but the killers escape in a UFO. After talking to Mary, he thinks that the car bomb wasn't intended for them, but for Humpty. He gets this idea because Lola said that Humpty died in the zephyr, so was hoping he would be killed in it. Jack then realises that the killer of Tom Thomm was Humpty's wife. The three shots were waist height, but head height for Humpty. His wife killed herself as she was sorry for what she had done. Moments later Jack is informed by Gretel that Humpty survived the shot, and that instead, he hatched. The team are thrown into confusion as they try to find a giant which Humpty hatched into. Spratt and Mary then return to his house to attend the arrival of 'his eminence' the Jellyman. When people look at the stalk, Jack has an urge to climb it. The only people in the house are a few police officers, Spratt, Mary, the Jellyman, Madeleine and their children. The few police officers stationed outside the house are alerted, and one by one, a strange creature kills them all. The monster bursts into the house in an attempt to kill the Jellyman. Jack leads him outside and climbs the stalk, followed by the beast. When they are high up in the sky, the monster rips Jack off and he falls all the way through the garden shed. When Jack regains consciousness, he sees a chainsaw. He is reminded of the axe and takes it and begins hacking down the beanstalk, aiming for the beast to fall down. It jumps onto him and tries to kill him, but a voice behind it makes it stop. Dr.Quatt appears in front of Jack and tells him that she is the killer, who's aim was to kill the Jellyman all along. She was about to kill Jack, but Mary knocks her unconscious. The monster runs to her aid, picking her up and running away. Mary tries to kill them, but Jack tells her to not bother. The beanstalk topples over from when Jack tried to cut it down, crushing the monster and Dr.Quatt. The end of the book is the explanation. The goose that lays golden eggs is taken away by scientists and is cut open to find out what makes it lay golden eggs. They are disappointed when they cut it open and only find a normal goose's insides, and the only gold-laying goose dies. Jack explains to Mary that Humpty, although a good man, or egg, had many friends, and many enemies. His previous wife thought she killed him by poison, his wife thought she killed him by shooting him in the shower, Solomon Grundy thought he killed him by hiring a man to shoot him, Randolph Spongg and Lola Vavoom thought they killed him with a car bomb. But the real killer was Doctor Quatt, who injected him with the monster when he was having his appointments with her. Humpty's wife killed herself because she thought she killed him. Wee-Willy Winkie saw Humpty hatch and knew it was her and blackmailed her. She made the monster follow her, and when she met him, the beast killed him with its claw. She was using Dr Carbuncle to help her, and shot him in case he leaked information. Her plan was to kill the Jellyman and used Humpty as a host to create the monster. She only wanted to kill one person, but a lot of others were the victim of her powerful, and short wrath.