No Way to Treat a First Lady
Christopher Buckley
 The President of the United States and Hollywood bombshell Babette Van Anka, are carrying on an extramarital affair in the White House. After a night of cheating, the president is confronted by his wife, Beth MacMann. The two get into a fight, during which she throws a historic Paul Revere spittoon at the president. The spittoon strikes the President in the head and it is alleged he later dies from the injuries. The case is instantly declared the "Trial of the Millennium". The first lady decides that to win the case, she must hire the most expensive and unscrupulous attorney in Washington. The attorney who fits the bill, Boyce Baylor, happens to be her former lover from law school. Baylor accepts her case and the trial becomes a media circus, with most of the media instantly concluding the First Lady is guilty. Baylor's courtroom theatrics are planned to impress the court of public opinion as much as the jury. Incessant media coverage of the trial smothers attempts of the new President to accomplish anything serious. Baylor and MacMann rekindle their long-lost love affair, but Baylor's shenanigans soon find him barred from the courtroom. The trial appears lost until Van Anka confesses under oath that she had secretly administered a large dose of Viagra to the president. An autopsy confirmed that the Viagra caused the death. MacMann is declared not guilty. She and Baylor have a baby which, coincidentally, weighs the same amount as the spittoon. The media is quick to declare that they believed the first lady was innocent all along.