The Woods Out Back
Robert Anthony Salvatore
 Gary Leger works at a plastic manufacturing factory. Every day he has the same boring routine. Gary constantly refers to The Hobbit as his favorite book and reads it all the time. In the blueberry patch that is near his house through a steadily receding woodline, he sees a pixie holding a small bow before he passes out on the ground. He then awakes in the mystical forest of Tir'na'nog in the presence of the leprechaun Mickey McMickey. After being seduced by a nymph (Leshiye), he is rescued by the elf Kelsenellenelvial Gil-Ravardy (Kelsey for short), who takes Gary on a quest to re-forge the spear of the legendary hero Cedric Donigarten. There are however two problems. The first is that to re-forge the spear, they require the services of the finest blacksmith alive, the dwarf Geno Hammerthrower. To solve this problem they capture him in his home. The second problem is that it must be forged in the flames of a dragon. On their way to visit the dragon Robert they are captured by the witch Ceridwen. Gary and company, through a plan developed by Gary, escape Ynis Gwydrin with the help of a giant named Tommy and make it to the lair of Robert. Kelsey (or rather an image of Kelsey conjured by Mickey) defeats Robert in single combat and convinces him to reforge the spear. Upon returning home, Gary is assured of the reality of all the events in the book when he sees that his book is still in the script of Mickey McMickey.