Kir Ianulea
Ion Luca Caragiale
 The narrative opens with the rally of all devils, as ordered by "the Overlord of Hell" Dardarot. Probably a replica version of Astaroth, the latter confesses being intrigued by the large number of human victims who claim to have sinned only because of women, and indicates that he considers a method for verifying the truth in this claim. Dardarot decides to send "the little one", Aghiuţă ("Hell's Bells" or "Dickens"), into an extended investigation on Earth. Although received with displays of fatherly affection by Dardarot, the boy is reluctant to perform such tasks, since, as the narrator informs, he is not on his first mission among humans: previously, he had served an old woman, and forced by her to expend his energy on the futile task of straightening a curly hair. Unimpressed, Dardarot provides him with 100,000 gold coins (the bounty confiscated from a stingy mortal), with the indication that he is to marry and live with his human wife for ten years. Transformed into a handsome young mortal and evicted from Hell by his moody overlord, Aghiuţă decides to head for Bucharest, a city with "room for parties" and many business opportunities. He arrives in the Wallachian capital and books a room at Manuc's Inn, before renting a cluster of townhouses and gardens in Negustori area (the merchants' district, close to Colţea Hospital). The new guest intrigues Aghiuţă's new landlord, who sends the old and cunning housekeeper Marghioala to engage him in conversation and find out his story. Recommending himself as Ianulea "of Arvanite stock", the young man explains that he is from near Mount Athos (Sfântagora), in Ottoman Greece, the son of olive tree planters. He provides an elaborate story about his early years, claiming that both his parents died at sea, while taking him on pilgrimage to the Holy Sepulchre in Jerusalem—victims of bowel obstruction caused by eating beans after radishes. He recounts having been kept on as a servant and boy seaman by the brutal captain of the ship, and having survived a number of near shipwrecks, and then purchasing his own vessel. After further such adventures, Aghiuţă-Ianulea claims, he had been able to amass a fortune and settle in a peaceful country. He also boasts knowledge of several languages without access to formal studies, and claims that his knowledge of Romanian will put Wallachian locals to shame. In the end, Ianulea threatens Marghioala not to share his secret with anyone else, aware that such a warning will only entice her to spread the story around the neighborhood. Rumor spreads of Ianulea's fortune and the young man, referred to as a kir ("sir", from the Greek κύρ), becomes the center of interest in high society, being invited to events organized by boyars and merchants alike. The details of his account become well-known, his deeds magnified by popular imagination, and, as a consequence, the entire neighborhood is convinced that beans should never be eaten after radishes. Meanwhile, Ianulea begins courting Acriviţa, the daughter of unsuccessful trader Hagi Cănuţă, who is beautiful and well-proportioned, but has mild esotropia. Although she can offer him no dowry, he decides to marry her, and their wedding is an occasion for Ianulea to display his insatiable taste for luxury. The day after their union, Acriviţa (also referred to as Ianuloaia, "Ianulea's woman") undergoes a sudden change in character from "gentle and amendable" to "tougher and uppity", entitling herself master of the household and exercising control over her husband's affairs. She is also increasingly jealous, constantly spying on her husband and ordering her servants to do the same, but does not feel accountable for her own actions. She therefore hosts lavish parties and card game sessions in her husband's house, and irritates him by defaming her own friends. During one such gathering, she informs her guests that a female acquaintance of hers has been fornicating with one of the Wallachian Prince's sons, with a consul of the Russian Empire, and even, after being banished to Căldăruşani Monastery, with an Orthodox monk. Acriviţa also claims that the unnamed friend plots to "break" her household by committing adultery with Ianulea. This enrages Ianulea, and the couple begin shouting abuse at each other, while their stunned guests look on. The Ianuleas eventually reconcile and the kir is placated, addressing his wife as parigboria tu kosmu (παρηγοριά του κόσμου, "consolation of the world"). Unbeknown to him, Acriviţa has by then begun selling various objects of value in his property to feed her gambling habit. Tricking Ianulea with displays of her affection, she also persuades him to provide a dowry for her two unmarried sisters, as well as capital for her two brothers' respective businesses. Ianulea proceeds to service this and other whims ("had she asked for the Colţea Belfry on a silver platter, kir Ianulea would have brought it to her on a silver platter"). As a result, Ianule's fortune is steadily depleted, and he comes to rely on expected proceeds from his investment in the business of his brothers-in-law, while steadily falling into debt. While his credit rating crumbles, Acriviţa's itinerant siblings return with bad news: one has lost his ship in front of İzmir, the other has been robbed at the Leipzig Trade Fair. Ianulea's only option is to flee Bucharest in a haste and escape his creditors. As he rides past Cuţitul de Argint Church, he notices that he is being pursued by armed guards, sent by the Bucharest Aga to lock him into a debtors' prison. He abandons his horse and runs up a hill and into a vineyard, pleading with the keeper to provide him with shelter. The latter, who presents himself as Negoiţă, reluctantly accepts to do so when Ianulea assures him that his pursuers are not boyars. In exchange for his help, Ianulea lets him on his secret identity, and promises to reward him. He explains: "Whenever you hear that the devil's got into a woman, a wife, or a girl, whatever, no matter the place where they live and no matter what station in life they have, you should know it's about me that they're talking. You go right away to the respective house for I won't leave the woman until you chase me out... Naturally that seeing you cure their precious jewel they will offer you a reward". The devil leaves the vineyard, and the focus moves on Negoiţă. Catching rumor of a demonic possession in Colentina neighborhood, where a rich girl has come to speak in tongues, shouting and divulging all sorts of embarrassing secrets. The vineyard keeper promises to relieve her suffering in exchange for 100 gold coins, and Ianulea subsequently fulfills his promise. He scolds Negoiţă for accepting such a small amount, and informs that he should make his way for Craiova, where they are going to repeat their act with the daughter of a local administrator, the kaymakam. This happens exactly as predicted by the devil, who, upon exiting the girl's body, informs the peasant that he no longer considers himself indebted. As thanks for his service, Negoiţă is granted an Oltenian estate and assigned a boyar's title. His blissful relaxation is interrupted abruptly when the kaymakam orders him on mission to Bucharest, where the Phanariote prince's daughter is also being tormented by a demon. Although much troubled, the healer follows princely envoys, and is warmly greeted by the prince (who casually addresses him in Greek, unaware that Negoiţă is in reality a local peasant). Nevertheless, the princess strongly rejects the healer's presence, and asks instead for "my old man", a certain Captain Manoli Ghaiduri. The soldier is immediately sent for, and reveals himself to be the girl's secret love interest, a "splendid" Greek from the princely guard. While the princess persistently asks Manoli to mangle the intruding healer, the latter thinks of a ruse: suggesting that the girl's illness needs specialized help, he asks permission to consult with Acriviţa Ianulea, "the widow of the wretch", whom he recommends as a better doctor than he. His demand has an instant effect on the princess: instead of shrieking and shouting, she begins cluttering her teeth. Within three days, she is spontaneously relieved of her symptoms. Negoiţă does however proceed to Negustori, learning that Acriviţa was chased out of her home by the creditors and moved back in with her father. Once there, he claims to be a debtor of Ianulea's, presenting her with 100 gold coins and a deed to the Cuţitul de Argint vineyard. He manages to intrigue her by suggesting that, should she ever hear of a demon possessing a woman or girl, she is to walk up to the victim, call out parigboria tu kosmu, and recount her longing for Ianulea. She promises to follow his advice, and Negoiţă returns to court, before deciding to head out of the city for good. He receives yet more presents from the princely family, as well as emotional thanks from Manoli Ghaiduri. As Negoiţă rides out on his way to Oltenia, the devil takes control of another young lady, the daughter of Wallachia's Orthodox Metropolitan. This is Acriviţa's opportunity to follow Negoiţă's advice, and, as soon as she enters the room, the demon flees in panic. The story ends on Aghiuţă's return to Hell, where he requests from Dardarot not to ever accept either Negoiţă and Acriviţa into Hell, and assign them instead to Heaven: "let Saint Peter make up with them as best he can." He also demands and obtains a period of rest to last three centuries, as "those little affairs down on earth left me dog-tired."