One Fine Day in the Middle of the Night
Christopher Brookmyre
 Gavin Hutchinson, purveyor of non-threatening holidays to the British masses has organised a reunion for his old school classmates. The reunion will take place on his latest project - a unique "floating holiday experience" on a converted North Sea oil rig, a haven for tourists who want a vacation in the sun but without the hassle of actually interacting with any foreigners. And what better way to test out his venture than to host a fifteenth-year high school reunion, the biggest social event of his life... except no one remembers who Gavin is. Gavin may have been a non-entity while at school in Auchenlea but now he's made his fortune, he's looking forward to lording it over his old classmates, especially now he's having an affair with Catherine O'Rourke, PR specialist and one-time pin-up for his male classmates at St Michael's. Meanwhile Gavin's wife, who as 'Simone Draper' remains much more memorable to those from Auchenlea than her husband, is fed up with his philandering and aims to use the evening to publicly embarrass Gavin by announcing her plans to take the twins and leave him. Intent on ruining Gavin's evening, she's also added two extra names to the guest list - Hollywood star, famous comedian (and the recently suicidal) Matt Black, as well as class bampot, though now reformed artist, David "Dilithium Dave" Murdoch. As the ex-classmates gather on the almost finished holiday resort, currently moored off the coast of Scotland, little do they know that a troop of would be "soldiers of fortune" have been contracted to hit the rig for some blackmail action. The group of mercenaries (mostly recruited from the minimum wage end of the labour market, and already reduced in number due to some experiments with a rocket launcher) are made up of a variety of ex-terrorists from Ulster and Africa mixed in with a few professionals and to say they're not getting on well is a bit of an understatement...