The Confession of Brother Haluin
Edith Pargeter
 Heavy snows in mid-December 1142 followed by days of frost in much of England change the politics of the realm and lead Brother Cadfael far from home. In Oxford Castle, Empress Maud has been besieged for months by King Stephen and his forces. Once the roads are again passable, Sheriff Hugh Beringar gets the disappointing news that the Empress took advantage of the snow and frozen rivers for a miraculous escape, right under the noses of King Stephen's army. Rumor has it she and several allies dressed in white, were let down by a rope, walked over the frozen river through Stephen's lines, walked to Abingdon, where they got horses to ride to Wallingford Castle. She is then safe with her brother Robert of Gloucester and her major supporter Brian FitzCount. Oxford Castle surrendered, the men allowed to march home. Cadfael and Hugh wonder, what would the King do if he held the Empress? He would not keep her in chains, as she had done to him the year before. She will not surrender, nor give up her claim on the crown that Stephen wears. Robert of Gloucester returned from Normandy with the eldest son of the Empress with her second husband Geoffrey of Anjou, a boy of nine years named Henry Plantagenet. Her husband did not come to her aid. Perhaps the presence of her son will strengthen her claim for the throne in the eyes of the people. For the moment, the long running battle between these two contenders has begun anew, each with a talent of "conjuring defeat out of victory". King Stephen joined his brother Henry, Bishop of Winchester, and calls his sheriffs to meet him there for the Christmas feast. At Shrewsbury Abbey, the heavy snow fall caused severe damage to the slate tile roof of the guest hall, pouring water on some unhappy guests. The repairs must begin while the frosty days continue, with each monk taking a share in the labor under the guidance of their master builder Brother Conradin. Cadfael took his turn. Brother Haluin puts in his stint, but overreaches while knocking a pile of snow, falling down 40 feet along with many broken slate tiles, the ladders and scaffolds. His feet and ankles are seriously injured by the slates in the fall; his prospects for survival are grim. Taken to the abbey's infirmary, he makes confession in the presence of Abbot Radulfus and Brother Cadfael. Haluin speaks names he has not pronounced in 18 years. At the age of eighteen, he fell in love with a wealthy young woman named Bertrade de Clary. Despite his own good background and their mutual love, Bertrade's mother Adelais forbade his suit. The heartbroken Haluin entered the monastery, only to be visited there soon after by Adelais asking for herbs that would end Bertrade's pregnancy. He stole the necessary drugs from Cadfael's herbarium and gave them to Adelais, who later informed him that Bertrade and the unborn child died from the herbs he had sent, while she told others her daughter died of fever to hide the shame. He begs Cadfael to forgive him for the theft and for putting his herbs to such a use, and asks the abbot to forgive his sins and to grant him absolution. They both comply, while Haluin is much relieved by his confession. But Haluin lives. His injuries are severe and some are permanent - he will never walk without crutches and specially made shoes. Cadfael asks Hugh Beringar if the wife of de Clary yet lived. She lives at Hales, while her son, another sworn to King Stephen, resides in Staffordshire. If Haluin recovers apace, his vow of pilgrimage to seek forgiveness of the mother will be raised, no matter how ill-advised it is in his new state of health. Haluin's recuperation is slow, difficult, disciplined, and steady. In early March he asks in Chapter to be allowed to make his pilgrimage. He had done no penance to earn his absolution, and his vow burns in him: a pilgrimage to Bertrade's mother and to Bertrade's tomb at Hales, east of Shrewsbury. The abbot accedes to his pleading. Haluin may go, but only if he takes Brother Cadfael with him for assistance and safety. Haluin agrees, conceding his need for aid. On the fourth day of March, they proceed by foot to Hales, a three-day journey. They meet with Adelais, who expresses shock over Haluin's injuries and offers the forgiveness Haluin begs. They discover that Bertrade is not buried at the church. The local priest tells them that the de Clary family tomb is at Elford in Staffordshire, for deaths since Bertrade's grandfather. Haluin insists they continue this journey despite Cadfael's concern over his fitness to complete the pilgrimage by foot, now twice as long. Their trip to Elford (via Watling Street and Lichfield) takes the better part of a week. On the second night out, in the hour before dawn, Cadfael takes a short walk. He sees two horsemen passing, each with a woman riding postillion behind him. He recognizes one of the women as Adelais and the other as her maid. Cadfael lays out the rest of their route to include a night at Lichfield, just a few miles from Elford, to assure a good night's rest for Haluin before his all-night vigil. Haluin and Cadfael arrive at Elford to find Adelais in the church, kneeling before the tomb, as if she is their shadow. Adelais offers them meals and shelter in her dower house, keeping them from the rest of the de Clary household. After a restful day, Haluin returns to the church to spend the cold night on his knees in vigil and meditation, alongside Cadfael at the de Clary tomb. Haluin completed the main part of his vow. At sunrise, a curious Roscelin arrives at the church timely to assist Cadfael in bringing Haluin to his feet. He and Cadfael accompany the spent Haluin back to the de Clary manor. As Haluin takes his rest, Cadfael speaks with Roscelin, who tells them he was sent away by his father to serve Audemar, their friend and overlord. Lothair, bringing food, sends the young man away. Adelais offers them horses for the return journey, which spurs Haluin to leave at the moment and on foot as vowed, though it is but a few hours to sunset. A sudden snowstorm forces them to seek shelter at the manor of Vivers. The lord of the manor, Cenred, welcomes them to his home. He notes that they are far from home, with no Benedictine abbeys nearby, save the new one building at Farewell for nuns. Next morning, he asks whether either of the monks is an ordained priest. Heluin is. Will he officiate at the wedding of his much younger half-sister, Helisende, to a nobleman on the morrow? Cenred finds the chance arrival of the monks to be a good sign for this marriage. The haste is because his own son, who was raised with Helisende, has fallen in love with the girl; as such a relationship is prohibited, Cenred wants his sister to marry soon. It is a serious decision for Haluin, who has never performed any rites as a priest, but he agrees. Cadfael meets Helisende in the kennels as he walks about the manor. He asks her if she agrees to this marriage freely. She says yes, if any adult decision is truly free. Cadfael is struck by how familiar she seems though he cannot recall where he has seen her like before. Edgytha serves Haluin and Cadfael their midday meal. She tells them the story of Helisende being the daughter of her late master with his second, much younger wife, adding that the wife has gone into the convent at Polesworth since he died about eight years ago. Her daughter was left to Lady Emma and Edgytha's care, a girl with three loving mothers. Jean de Perronet, charming and very happy, arrives. Cenred invites Cadfael and Haluin to take supper in the hall with the family. They agree, and Haluin is seated next to the couple, the first time he sees Helisende. Cadfael explains to Cenred that they met his son when they stayed at Elford. As the meal ends, Lady Emma reports that Edgytha is gone, for four hours. She told a servant she would be back quickly, with a cat to put among the pigeons. The phrase meant nothing to the servant girl, but much to the parents, Helisende, and to Cadfael. Cenred organizes a party to search out of doors. About half the way to the manor at Elford, using the shortest path, Edgytha's body is found, knife wound to her chest and nothing stolen, clearly murdered. Cenred sends word ahead to Elford with this news, both to notify Audemar who acts as sheriff and to ask if anyone spoke with her. Cadfael sees there is snow beneath her body, not atop it, suggesting she was on her way home. The light snow had fallen early in the four hours. They carried her body back to Vivers. The entire household gathers in the hall, save one: Helisende, noticed only by Cadfael. Jean de Perronet asks if there is a link between his presence and this death. Cenred prays no. Roscelin arrives home, angry at what his father has done behind his back. Roscelin did not see Edgytha at Elford; he thought she had not reached the place. Who did she visit? Father and son argue. Roscelin meets Jean de Perronet, the prospective husband who has read between the lines. Roscelin wants assurance that Helisende was not forced to this marriage, planned secretly until this moment of revelation. Cenred asks his wife to get Helisende, but Helisende cannot be found. Her horse is gone from the stables. Audemar and his men arrive; he takes over the situation, a man of decision and action. With no bride there can be no marriage in this house. Cadfael and Haluin plan to depart in the morning. Haluin sees how small his own problems are, in contrast of the world outside him, a change setting him on the path to a true vocation. Cadfael is "unregenerate", wanting to see this story to its end, but with no justification, no special knowledge as to who or what would have been the cat among the pigeons. They say farewell to Cenred and to Roscelin, as the men wait for word to start the search. They leave to the west on a new path, that bypasses Lichfield, not the same route as their approach to Elford. Few people live in this area, where the locals had long fought the Normans. As evening nears, a man tells them they are quite near the new Benedictine house at Farewell planned by Bishop Roger de Clinton. They head there. After a night's rest at the convent, Haluin recognizes Bertrade, the girl he loved and thought he had killed, now a woman, and she recognizes him. She followed Haluin to the cloister, even taking the founder's name. She is Sister Benedicta, sent from Polesworth to help this new place. Cadfael realizes why Helisende looked familiar to him; her profile was like her mother but her face showed her father's looks. Haluin had much to absorb, strong feelings to experience. Cadfael wants to know what drove the mother to create such pain and trouble for so many years. Cadfael negotiates a meeting between Brother Haluin and Sister Benedicta with Mother Patrice, learning that she has already informed the family that Helisende is safe. Brother Haluin and Sister Benedicta are granted an hour's private meeting. Cadfael rides to Elford to meet with Adelais. Cadfael challenges her with what she had done to Haluin years ago. Then what she did to her own daughter: Adelais married Bertrade off to Cenred’s father Edric while Bertrade was with child by another man. What did she hold against Haluin, a handsome man who others would see as a good match for her daughter? Adelais confesses that she begged the herbs from Haluin then lied about her daughter’s death to Haluin to torment him. She admits that her anger rose because Haluin had fallen in love with her daughter and not her, he unaware of her feelings. If she could not have Haluin, then no woman could. And Edgytha, part of Adelais's household back then, knew the truth of Helisende. Edgytha ran to Adelais that night, who refused leave for the truth to be told. Adelais claims all the guilt, including sending her grooms away, who most likely were the murderers on their own initiative. The truth must out that Helisende has no Vivers blood in her; it is already coming out at Farewell. She will tell it with him as witness. They ride to Vivers manor, where all are gathered – Audemar de Clary, the Vivers and de Perronet. Adelais tells them that Helisende is not blood kin to Roscelin as she had brought her daughter Bertrade pregnant, to be married to Cenred's father. She admits she did all these foul deeds of deception long ago. They realize Edgytha knew as well. She tells them that Betrade, Helisende and the father are at Farewell. The father was a clerk in her household, a year older than her daughter. How did they come to meet now? Cadfael attests to this meeting, telling Haluin's tale in so doing. This stunning news is hard for the Vivers family to accept, a shock to Audemare, a challenge to de Perronet. Helisende is still loved by the Vivers, kin or not. Adelais has lands to leave her granddaughter. Roscelin is joyous. Jean de Perronet will continue his suit. Audemar claims her as his niece, and as overlord places his niece with Cenred once she is ready to leave Farewell. He tells his mother to ride back with him and Roscelin, as Cadfael rides back to Farewell. Audemar is sadly disappointed in his mother's actions years ago, and her actions the day Edgytha visited her. He banishes his mother to Hales, ordering her never to return to his manor at Elford or any other of his manors. Haluin shares his joy of meeting Bertrade and Helisende afterward with Cadfael. Haluin is growing stronger in walking with crutches, and is completely satisfied with his present blessings, this season of his love. He has no angry words for Adelais. He looks forward only. The two Benedictine brothers walk home to Shrewsbury in completion of the vow, the truth in place of falsehood having changed so much.