Hard Love
Ellen Wittlinger
 John can be a meanie only because he has been untouchable since his parents' divorce six years ago, and Marisol, who has recently come out as a lesbian, meet through their interests in writing zines, into which they pour their life stories. John arranges coffee dates that occur over several Saturdays, thus getting to know Marisol, and becoming friends. After Marisol tells John that she likes him, he is very surprised. No one had ever told him that they liked him, and he falls in love with her. Marisol doesn't know how to let him down, without losing her new best friend. Throughout the story, John and Marisol try to keep their friendship intact through writing zines together. As the story begins, John wonders what it would be like to meet one of his favorite zine writers, Marisol. From her personal biography, she describes herself as a "Puerto Rican Cuban Yankee Lesbian." John meets Marisol at a magazine rack on a Saturday when he asks her for coffee. Over time they start to spend more time together and she teaches him the ways of the zine writer. While John is spending time with his divorced father, he starts to ask questions about Al, the man his mother is marrying. John gets angry and throws a tantrum. Seemingly childish, the outburst becomes a topic for his writing, which he asks Marisol to read, instead of discarding it as he usually would have. Reflecting more on his life, John begins to understand his sexual orientation. This sudden embrace of his heterosexuality starts to give John ideas about his future with Marisol. Planning for the upcoming junior prom, John is thinking of taking Marisol. Marisol is aware that John only wants to go as friends, but is confused at John's desire to parade his heterosexuality to his friends. When John tries to kiss her, Marisol refuses. She yells at him, announcing that she is strictly lesbian, and that she thought he understood. Regretting his actions, John assumes he will never see Marisol again. To his surprise, Marisol calls him and she does not seem mad. She asks him to a zine conference on the shore of Cape Cod, next to the Bluefish Wharf Inn. Marisol tells him that this is the chance to express his feelings about the situation at hand to his parents, so he does. John writes letters to his mother and father, mails his father's to him, leaves his mother's on the table, and heads to the bus station for Marisol. One long bus ride later, they arrive at the conference surrounded by cabins and writers. John sees one of his favorite writers, Dianna Tree. As the weekend passes, Dianna and John develop a relationship while Marisol is off partying. Dianna sings a song for John called "Hard Love." After the convention ends, Marisol plans to go live in New York with her friends, Jane, Sarah, and B.J. John is completely taken aback by Marisol's plans. He tries to talk to her before she leaves but, running short on time, she hurries away. John is left to sort through his relationship with his parents and finish his last year of high school.