tw: scary/ horror i keep on thinking thats theres someone above, behind and besides me. i am quite scared but i might just be overthinking. they look terrified, they have a white dirty dress on, long long black hair. super long dirty nails and 4 legs and 2 arms. no face. then theres also someone else all black, not in race i mean like. that type. nothing wearing anything. no gender i dont wanna assume but i think that the first one might be non binary or a female. they keep following me i think 1 is above me right now. 2 is in the bathroom. 1 always follows me thats why i look behind me a lot, or they are climbing on the ceiling. 2 always glitches i see them sometimes but then they disappear within 0.2 seconds. im quite scared while being comfortable i feel weird. or confused. off topic but i hate taking showers for 1 reason. they follow me. i hate showers. and i feel like im going insane or im just seeing things or im either overthinking.


my friend said they also heard the shower turn on a little when she was alone in the bathroom


God damnnn, good job Vicky


The owner brought up vents of mine and used it against me


I genuinely still feel extremely violated


Let me say this was on Christmas too


I feel sick to my stomach rn


hey? can anyone talk..? i'm going through a lot right now and i can't stand to keep it in


yes sure!


this isnt a vent but i want to remind you all that i love you


im rlly upset bcs my 16th birthdays coming up and rlly all i want is for my two long distance friends to be able to celebrate it with me in person


id do anything to make it happen


but its not possible, not only bcs thwy both have strict parents who probably wouldn't let them fly here but also covid and flight restrictions would hinder everything


it makes me rlly sad


i considered writing about an alternate reality where everything could be possible just so i might dream abt it


i really think you should


I should?


I did tell one person and apparently people sided with the owner or said nothing at all


REEE its friday and my server got nuked for the third time...LETS SEE WHAT ELSE GOES WRONG TODAY ok im done now


so my lover, we has a argue today because he said that he wont let me meet his friends, his friends said I dont want to meet anyone” like my lover should let me meet him he should listen to me... Im his gf after all and not his friends idk what to do my lover is shocked that me and him started a argue


Guys I dont know what to do D:


First argue with the person I really love..


Thats why Im having bad day


Thinking of my relationship with him will be lose


I wanna be forever with him..


I really love him and appreciates him


Im afraid our relationship will be gone and I really dont want that


I dont know why this always happeneds but when me and someone start to date I cant feel love or affection towards them idk what it is just no feeling there for me could I get an answer please tbh I think i havent found the one


Cloudy probably you just havent found the right one, I was like that too, but I found my soulmate after a while


On another note, I dont know if its okay to vent when someone else is and I dont want to interrupt anyone?


But how do you figure out your sexuality? Ive been having to question mines a lot lately and while I dont want to put a label on it, I feel like I have to? With me being me, I cant stand not having something known about myself


are you you talking to vent?


Yeah


If thats okay?


If its not, I can wait?


tw: suxxxde, nose blxxds vxmxt


ah, the best day of my life.


it started with my panicking because i thought i was going to puke.


my biggest fear is puke.


so i start having a panic attack, it slowly turning into a mental breakdown considering whenever i panic, i start getting those thoughts again. they were bad today. i actually almost did it. i almost attempted to do it. i was highly considering it.


the most helpless i've ever felt in my whole entire life.


im starving, and exhausted. i accidentally fell asleep sitting up because i was so tired. and i woke up, feeling like my left nostril was running like crazy. come to find out, it was my nostril just my left nostril since my right one rarely ever bleeds? and both never bleed together bleeding. i'd say it was pretty bad. i could barely tilt my head back and fill it running down my throat like crazy. i hated it. anyways. so today has been nice.


Trashman Hey its alright, try searching for some friends at first, after that, your heart will feel the warmth by the right person. When you found the right person, you can confess. Did they reject? Then theyre not the right person. Aha.. hope this helps Im not the best in vents.


I can be your friend if you want me to make you feel better!


You're not pathetic! virtual bear hug There are so many people who want to find that one and only person to be with, and so many haven't found him/her yet! And you can love everyone, your family, your friends, your pet ?,... it doesn't need to be this person that you still don't have which is totally normal and not a problem!


Okay I'm really bad at comforting people


Hope I helped try finding people with the same issue mabye


TWit hurts when someone you love wants to kll themself making you want to kll yourself to be with them.


Ever since the beginning of lockdown in March 2020, my life has been pretty rough, and it kept getting worse during high school, and i've been getting bullied and bullied for seemingly no reason, and i just feel like there will be worse things, and honestly, i feel like moving school, but at the same time, i'm leaving what i call a home, with quite a lot of friends there, my parents decided i should move school, and i agree with this idea, but i just want to be happy again


TW, language, suicide


tap to read. why did she do that to me. i loved her sm, and she just broke my heart like that? she said she was ready but she broke up w/ me cause we didnt know eachother for long enough? im so close to killing myself. i dont even know what to do now. she was so funny and nice. i dont even know what to do anymore. she was my happiness. my yellow, my everything. she even said she was scared of losing me. i cant stop crying now. thank u for reading this. my story


@ MistyCaramel Can we talk about it? It feels like it will get worse


Take pride in the things which make you happy


and do the things which you enjoy


don't stress over things which will bash you down and stress you out


Ig i could:/


But thanks for trying


yea hhh Its easier for me to help out with vents in dms hhh


yes they do.


Yw:D


No they dont


They want you to be happy because you were there for them.


mhm you dont know that!


They dont want you to be upset


It would be inconsiderate if they made you sit here and commit suicide just to be with them


They dont want that


well, thats what they want thats what they get.


You dont know if they want that


Nothing is certain


yes i do.


she told me.


Suicide is permanent but solving your temporary issues in a healthy better way is also permanent


It's better to work on the issues you have


If they want you to do that then arent you letting them win? You are just gonna give up like that? Without a fight?


Suicide doesnt mean the feelings wont come back to you or anyone else


Then fight more


Why give up now?


i can't.


Are you gonna let everything you worked for go to waste like that?


i'm hurting more than i ever have


Then keep going. You can either run away and push pain onto people who love you or you can keep fighting and make it out until it gets better


no one loves me so whats the use?


I do


Everyone here cares about you


not everyone.


only you!


You can never get everyone to love you. There is 7 billion people on Earth.


And many people here care about you


Because you are here. You have the roles and if someone cares enough to speak to you and convince you otherwise then you shouldn't do it


mhm.


Try talking in the chat and see how people treat you there and then tell me they dont care


Find something to chase after and it makes it easier


A dream life


And make it reality


if im going to make my dream come to reality then i would be dead.


That's not a dream. Thats a method of running away from problems


An extreme and hurtful method


suicide is just a permanent solution to temporary problems.


Were you fighting for 3 years or running away for three years?


It's ok. Vent whenever you need to. But mabye think about it a little longer about the last question.


i was fighting.


can i dm you


or not


uh so


i didnt come out to my friend that im demiboy and gay


and she asked me out and i dont know how to respond


i dont want to come out to her yet because i dont want her to tell my homophobic transphobic parents and im not sure if shell keep it a secret, what do i do?


insecurities


thats it


oh yes but i dont have a sim card Beacuse my parents took it since its an arab country they wont care since secretabuse is very common cuz asian parents yk?


and they would say.. you couldve easily escaped


im feeling pretty sad rn bc ive been noticing my best friend is slowly getting more annoyed at me, losing interest talking to me, and acting like she doesnt want to be friends. shes my world and shes helped me through a lot. everything was fine until last month when she started ghosting dms and when i would spam her she would randomly start to have outbursts where she would yell at me for spamming her or telling her what to do. she has recently made a server with me thats growing and when we are chatting on that server, theres a significant difference from how she acts toward me in front of members nice and funny than in dms expressionless, mad, or no answer. shes been on invisible saying shes hiding from someone and im pretty sure that someone is me at this point. we used to facetime a lot as well, but now shes having excuses like my music is more important. i dont know what to do, nor i dont want to paint her as a toxic person because i know shes genuinely nice, but since shes my other half and i want to fix whats going on. im so stressed about it


is it ok if i vent to someone in dms? i'm just having troubles with understanding emotions and letting people know how i feel recently and i need someone to privately talk to


i feel like such a loner


Why is that love


This is not a vent! Its just uh.. 3 reminders! ig


1 Ending your life is not going to make anything better. How much pain youve been through, just imagine how much pain the people who care for you will feel if you end it. Its not worth it. They will go through the same amount of pain :


2 You are going through this pain for a REASON. God put you through this for a reason. You just have to be patient. You will get out of this! You can do it! Just wait!


3 Someone in this world loves you. Not everyone hates you. God loves you. I love you. Other people love you. We dont want you to end it. You are worth so much more. Dont let people bring you down. You are GREATER than that


zzyyysayustaysafe


so now a ton of my family members have it and i came in contact with one months ago we dont think she had it back then


but its rlly scary


btw


i want to remind everyone that i love them


Y e s


my sister stabbed me in the eye straight with her nail today. them punched me in the eye and shamed me for crying ;;


IMNOTNABSUE get over here


move to chat


Not a convo.


If it isnt about helping someone venting, or you venting yourself please dont talk here. Just a heads up


I was about to apologize to the person for what happened to them.


But if you insist.


You can, im just saying


God Im feeling terrible. Im afraid to vent anywhere, Im afraid everyone is gonna call me fake just for my DID and I dont know how to make a separate so it doesnt confuse anyone. At this point I feel like everything is draining.. I feel less happy honestly, it isnt great anymore.


Exactly.. and its been bothering me a lot. A few of my systems are very upset about it and Im worried that something will happen if nothing is gonna be done or anything. I cant even share about my mental issue without being worried or nervous, and I really hate it when it comes to those people.


I dont think anything can be done since we cant ask for proof yknow?


Ah yeah, true true.


school is so stressfull and i just love doing art bc it makes me happy and when it comes to school i dont like how it feels even if many ppl say is not big deal


I'm so done. I'm usually not the one who lets out all my feelings but, I feel so left out. I may sound like I'm trying to seek attention, but I feel really left out. I tried talking in chat and no one really replied back. I said'Hi', nobody replies. Said'Hi' to specific people, they didn't reply as well. I feel like every time I talk, the more they stop talking.


I'm sorry, I must be annoying.


i honestly thought i was finally free of my depression, but ig i was just playing it off until it all just built up and caved back in. i hate myself sm for not even realising that i was just ignoring my emotions, and just tryna satisfy everyone else. i knew i was neglecting myself, but i thought it was only to a minor degree. wonder how much worse tonight could get


Tysm, Sap. That honestly does help me a bit 3


can i dm someone about maybe some dark venting stuff?


I vented abt this before but at this point this topic is so triggering for me i don't even wanna say who it is, but a relative has been abusing me physically and verbally and they told me i shouldn't have been born. I'm sick of lying to my friends telling them i'm ok, i don't know what to do, i don't bother asking why anymore, you might have heard of this song lyrics but it speaks to me, they only hit until you cry and it just hurts


i hate myself because i have these problems, counsellors have talked to this relative before and she hasn't stopped yet. Recently, all i feel is that i disappoint everyone at the end, everytime i help someone i feel like i mess something up


And my relative throwing a book at me and telling me to kill myself isn't helping


i wish i was just a normal person and i wish i didn't have these stupid complicated emotions


im going to give up


i cant even feel confident for myself anymore, since i cant do anything right. i dont know what to do anymore, i feel like im the ugliest person ever and i cant even look at myself anymore, i try to make myself look better but nothing ever works and i want to give up because nothing will change


I don't even get why looks matter? It's just what the eyes see. You shouldn't be self conscious about your looks, all that matters is that you have a good personality. I don't look nice, I'm quite fat aswell I never let that bring me down though, neither should you when you hear the word pretty you shouldn't be thinking about some beautiful women and instead a beautiful personality.


In my opinion, ugly is not an insult just the appearance of something or someone which really does not matter at all unless you're referring to personalities. I could surely just say I'm ugly because it's just a appearance.


I wish someone would help me


just tired


and stressed


Dm me


Illl try and cheer you up:3


oh


sure


Am I truly me? Am I who I wanna be?


I don't know anymore. My personality has shifted around so much lately.


One moment I feel happy, want to bring joy to everyone, the next I'm sad and want to isolate myself.


I'm not in control of my emotions anymore.


I feel like I'm striving to be someone else, a different person.


But that isn't really me, is it? Is it a different me? Is it even me? I'm so confused.


It's like I'm trying so hard to be someone else than I am right now that I'm just splitting in two.


I want to be someone else, but that someone isn't the real me.


I genuinely don't know what's up with me anymore.


Na go on Yan


Its okay


Imma be fine. I dont use vent often because I feel like others need it more. I can bounce back from this


okay guess it is.


time to retype the rant.


ohmmyygosh


i cant even use thaT word?


i...


what


just because our dad doesnt understand our illnesses besides depression doesnt mean he should invalidate us. doesnt mean he should say we are perfectly fine. doesnt mean he should not take us to the doctor to get professionally diagnosed.


doesnt mean he should treat us like crap. i can rant on about how terrible they are when it comes to our health. we havent seen the doctor in 2 or 3 years. because we are perfectly healthy


so, youre saying having alters is perfectly healthy?


saying that having a posdible mood disorder is healthy?


saying that having borderline delayed sleep wake cycle disorder is healthy?


saying that having REDACTED is healthy?


saying that having severe trust issues are healthy?


what the heck are you on about.


god im tryna rant about my parents and it keeps getting deleted due to banned words which i tried to find a synonym for one.


there we go.


if youre wondering what the redacted word is,.. its hard to explain wihout the message getting deleted. but its nothing bad, just another word for.. well an addi, which is what im gonna shorten it to because i dont even know if that word is banned or not.


I never thought I'd ever come here, but here goes nothing.


I've been working hard these past few weeks cause of finals, and I've done a lot, here's the thing right, my parents don't give two s about it. They think I'm slacking off, that I won't get into certain schools, that I've been doing a lot of nonimpactful things. I'm so done with them, they don't know how much I've sacrificed for this and then they threaten to take everything away from me. They love to do that, actually. take, take, take. That's all they do. They're so gung ho about it. Take Take Take! It's all they've been taught to do. They find a way to get mad at me, then they take things away. It gets me so mad to no end and because of that, they finally broke me. It makes me not want to live anymore. If that was their goal, they did an amazing job. I absolutely love parents with stupidly high standards that even they couldn't achieve back then.


Sooo I was doing a Nitro Gws and it ended today I tried to buy it but the Paypal payment seems to be having issues, I told the winner of the gws to wait for a bit and she/he told me that I might not give the price It's really offensive in my view


ive been having issues with my boyfriend lately. hes called me names, and it makes me feel sad/useless. growing up ive always struggeled with my self asteem/confidence. i turned to feel suicidal and i turned to addiction i just felt i should vent here ig. i hope evrything has a good day tho! olivia.


6 people died next door its an adult daycare


i wont let her do anything in my room nor around me


and im not talking to her


shes choosing money and her life over her children


i cant get a job nor live with anyone that i know of


my familys arguing about covid and


how money and stuf


my mom tells my sister to get out of the house and they argue constantly now just because of covid


what if i lose everything?


honestly school is stressing me out so much, i keep forgetting homework, school's getting cancelled bc of snow a lot, i keep forgetting to do/bring things at school, and i can barely sleep because of anxiety. i cant stop worrying rn and idk whats came over me. i feel like something is bugging me but i dont know what. ive been hesitating with so much stuff right now. ive been feeling super dizzy a lot and less tired than i usually am. i can barely focus on anything because all i wanna do is nap, but once im home or im doing something then i just feel sick, not sleepy. idk whats happening and its scaring me a lot


just don't worry, take it easy and it'll be fine


ill try that 3


i still have the snacks i cried to behind the couch today


Sometimes... I just hate emotions. Sorry, Id help. But even Im down atm...


It never works... I try to forget anything wrong that happend in the past but I can't.. It is true.. I came to discord to cheer up a bit but it is just making me feel more hated, ignored and mean.. I am too mean to others... it's true... I am sure it is true.. I don't believe anybody who says they are my friend and they don't hate me. After all it is my fault. I should have never gone to more than that one server I found real friends in... that I know don't lie.. I don't know what I am supposed to be doing anymore.


Just when I need the people I care about the most to message me they disappear, Im so mad and upset and Im hanging from a string. This is such bs. This is so unfair. I feel sick and I forced myself to stay awake so I can message me friends, just for this to happens. Youd think after all the times Ive there for them, that the one day Im at my lowest point, theyd actually come to support me. But... they didnt. I cant believe this... Im just... I cant... like my uncle died today/ yesterday now I guess. It being 5:23am. I cant sleeppp! This is dumb. I gotta be this support beam for my family, Im not that strong. This is unfair. Like, Im trying, was doing pretty well until I started getting ignored from my friends. I just... I feel pain. I guess. I just need time... I know... just hurts.


Im back here once again for my messages to be ignored:


I feel like everyone talks behind my back.


They secretly hate me.


They ignore my cries.


They think Im annoying.


I plaster on a fake smile.


BUT IM TIRED OF BEING A RUG.


Loves against me.


Friendship is against me.


Even this cruel reality is.


Yet I cant shift.


Its been months!


WHILE I DO ALL THE WORK HELPING MY FRIENDS AND OTHERS THEY TURN A BLIND EYE AND THINK IM OKAY!


Im not.


I ignore these feelings at day.


Goodbye.


No ones gonna see this. And no ones gonna care.


I have to use the ask if I dont people dont mind their buisness.


My deepest condolence for your uncle. But I'd have to say, you don't have to constantly burden yourself to support your family. Help in the right state of mind or else it's going to be hard. I know that you love your family, and I'm sure they love you back, but you gotta look out for yourself too Harry. Your health is also important, and I'm sure your family wouldn't want to see you in pain. Neither do I, so take the time to rest and take a break. Whenever you feel like you're not in the right state of mind to support your family, you can simply say it. Talk to them and they'll understand. Again, I'm emphasizing on taking care of yourself first, then take care of others.


You're a great person Harry, and the things you're going through is indeed unfair. But no matter how many times people leave you, there's always someone who's still there for you. They may not be physically there, but people will think about you. You're not always forgotten, people still care for you. So go out there, have fun, and keep on being a great person.


Im dming


I was born into a world that hands me khozyian mum clones. I was raised a doll to become someone's tool and that's not the life I want. Yet I keep crawling back like a turtle without a shell. Sometimes I just want to yell, that's not what I am.


I'm just floating in this sea of confusion and restlessness. I'm just fighting against the tide, letting my hobbies be my line. But I know, I know that it won't last forever. I'll end up back in the place that couldn't face who I am.


I didn't keep up my childhood because I knew khozyian would have never understood what I wanted. I could let out a plea but honestly it would better to just flee from this place. I have everything I wanted but yet I still get taunted everyday, everyday by the same person who is supposed to tell me it's okay.


My past has always haunted me but it really only dawned on me that I need to let it go. When I'm sad I need to let the tears flow. Everyone tells me it will be okay so maybe I should just stay and listen, listen to the words that set for me. I should let my fate decide where I will reside and then, then I'll be at peace with myself.


I'm just khozyian's child no longer his son, so before he goes wild I have to look him in the eyes. I have to look him in the eyes and tell him that I would rather die than be his. I am who I am and there's nothing that can stand in the way of that.


I'm still the same person I was back when it was my friend and I against the world. I wish I could turn back time and save him from the pain that awaited him. But I can't, what's done is done. I'm glad he brought so much into my life.


Ive known many pains in my life. But the pain of missing someone... its too strong. Im so worried that Im being so obsessive that its causing them to slowly back away. What do I do


i had an anxiety attack and my friends are making fun of me uhh


i just got sexually harrassed on a platform for children


Oh no. What happened?


they wanted me to choke them, touch them and do gross stuff o,o


it was traumatic


Life means nothing to me anymore


Life is nothin but a bunch of bs


No cares anyways


No one is even bothering to come


Why


Why isn't no one coming


Why why why


No one isn't gonna care about u anyways


nizzyyukari Mind explaining what happened hun?


Look i just don't feel like life doesn't have no meaning anymore


Look at life from a different point of view, it has a meaning that I am sure you can discover.


Like what


Nothin don't have meaning anymore


Only you will know, it is for you, there are many meanings for life and for everyone they are unique to them, unless you follow the general population then you will only follow things everyone else does in terms of a meaning to life


Not everything comes easy, nor is it simple or obviously apparent but it will come


Life can for sure be cruel at times and not go the way we all desire. However that is not a sign for anyone in this world to give up, instead, we are being challenged to grow stronger with the experience we gain through all of these situations. If you feel like life has no point, maybe try out something new? Something you have never tried out before? I am sure you'll begin to find joy in life slowly and that'll make you overcome your darkest times. You can seek for comfort by talking to your friends, to us, your family. Everyone is sure to be there and show you love, show you support.


Okay well if you're just gonna focus on the negativity of it all idk what to tell you.


There is no normal


There is no perfect


It's up to us if we want our lives to become a better one or not, therefore only we can decide if we wish to view life in the most painful way possible or look at some good things that can keep us going, my dear. Not everything will be sunshine and rainbows indeed, but considering that, not everything will be war and hatred as well. Life is gonna balance itself meaning you'll have ups and downs, that's all I can say


And there is no happy


Wrong


There is happiness everywhere


Do you think people dying everyday is happiness


Not everyone is easily made happy, that would be correct but people are happy.


No u gotta understand


If that's your focus, just stop please, all you're doing is being negative and refusing the advice and help being provided to you


Happy does not exist in me anymore ok


I don't feel happy ok


Yet me and another are trying to provide advice and help


All I feel is pain and suffering


But you ignore it


The reason why is because most of it is not real believable


That's your opinion


Have you ever tried looking at the good side of things? I have a feeling all you do is focus on the negativity


Why would I wanna live in this world during this pandemic


Not the actual truth, because believe it or not the things we're telling you are true


I mean I thought this was gonna be over soon


It blows over in time, it's barely been a year since it started. Not like it'll last what 10 years like the last one did?


One year compared to 10 is a large difference of time.


When it's over.


Pandemics do not end fastly and easily, it will take time but in the end it's gonna get resolved


U know what forget this


Was bound to happen during our lifetime


If you say I'm just a negative person then just say that


I did. But I also tried to provide some advice.


Say emo are negative because ur right we are we all are


I know thats why ur pissed huh


Yeah I'm aware, I was there during a time


I'm not pissed


Ur pissed but I'm negative


I'm irritated and frustrated because you're focusing on negativity instead of what can be


Well just do it


Just move on


Let's stop.


You're crossing a line.


And censor yourself.


Ur crossing my lines


Ur crossing my heart


How? I'm trying to help you.


You're refusing to listen


Because ur not listening to me


There is a thing called reason, but you're being unreasonable


Ur not listening on what I have to say


I am


I hear you


But you need to stop focusing on the negativity


That's the issue here


Like u don't understand what I believe thru


In other words lemme put it this way


Okay either way, we should be done here, this is unnecessary at this point


So I'm leaving the channel


I tried


Yeah ok I see


I'll play ur game


bruh


I have a bunch of small things I want to rant/vent about, but I guess I'll only list down a few. My grandmother died yesterday, and I feel like a bad person for not crying, I went on the whole day as if nothing had happened and I feel guilty for doing so. Another thing is my hobbies I feel like I'm getting worse and worse at them and it's making me not lose interest but just not want to do it. I had this hobby since I was 6 and I think I was better at it then than now, which is embarrassing, sure it's not a big deal but it means alot to me. I'm feeling a bit nostalgic again aswell.


So my sister always hits me and gets mad for no reason. its been like this pretty much every since I was 5. She beat me up and never gave me good things. I tried to make the bed for WEEKS and she said do it tomorrow and Ive been saying it nicely for years upon years, and when i finally snap she acts like i havent done anything for her. she says sorry then acts like nothing is wrong and then starts being rude all over again. Then, she wants me to play a game with her. I didnt want to since i played this morning shes older btw and i said nicely i wasnt in the mood several times and she kicks me out of my own room, but I cant kick her out of hers? she has a RAT in her room and ends up staying in mine. She has it dirty for MONTHS AND MONTHS and i cant live like that


if anybody needs help or just wants to chat im here dms are open:


I wanna cry. I have had a yt channel for 2 years yet not a lot of progress is happening. I tried learning tweening and other stuff. I kept hours and years out of my day to learn for people who watch my videos only to get 2 comments and low views, while others make cringe content about alpha bad boy love story with softie girl get tons of views. I stayed wake for hours trying to come up with ideas only for them to never become popular. All I want is for people to comment telling me to keep going but we all know that never gonna happen. It lowkey hurts to see people that make cringe get more few then others that have talent.


My friends don't know how to help me either and my parents would never even think of sending me to a therapist. I'm lost and i have no where to go.


I've forgotten what i wanted to do and i often lose motivation for new ideas really easily. My counsellors aren't helping and they just say oh it will pass. Sure it'll pass, my brain has always been like this.


I find myself right now not being able to stop thinking. My stomach hurts, my head hurts, everything hurts. I need to find help but i have no one to turn to. Family's too far away, i live with mum and dad, and none of them take me seriously


What things do you enjoy


I enjoy drawing and writing


One of the things i cherish most


Would you mind sharing some with me?


I wanna vent, Im done with people who always talked behind my back and Im done getting hated. I tried being nice but it wont even work D: I dont know what to do. I keep losing friends and friendship and family members relationships between them. I just dont know what to do rn Im stressed out and Im forced to stay with my moms friend family..


it will be appreciated if someone helped me


I'll get to you shortly


Okay 3


i failed him. i failed. he said it himself. i have blood on my hands.


i cant stop crying


im the reason hes going to be dead


i cant do anything to stop him


its too late


i cant handle this


Alright, calm down. Take a breather and relax. Explain things first and I'll make sure to try and help you out Cherubicide


i had a friend who has DID and one of his alters tried to kill him, and i failed at trying to stop him from it


me and that alter made a deal that he will be alive for one more day.


but its too lqate to help him


i had others try to help


they all failed


I see


Well, the most reasonable answer to this is to quickly call suicide prevention hotlines or any authoritarian figure


Clear out any objects near your friend that could possibly be used as a weapon


hes online.


not irl


Huh


hes an online friend,


Oh I see


Do you perhaps know his location, maybe his country or city


non


no


Do you have any way to know his location?


no,


i just.. i give up. i just have to accept the fact i failed and have blood on my hands.


its too late


he wont call the suicide hotline or 911


Is he still online


yes, im in a call with him rn


he ssaid hes going to jump off a bridge when he goes to school,


Keep trying to convince him not to, I'll think of a solution


its too late to help him,


i tried everything


Cherubicide   It's best to try as much as you can. Don't give up there's still a chance. I'll move this up to DMs


oh my god


Are you fairly okay right now?


yea im fine rn


That is just wrong. Faking suicide just for the fun of it is a horrible thing to do. You should probably refrain from keeping up this friendship, or at the very least, try not to contact him much. Having an intent to hurt you is just disgusting


I hope you'll feel better soon, take care.


I feel like a third wheel. But w/ friendship My friends are with other friends of mine, doing this and that. But never include me. Every now and then I put how upsetting I am in my status. But ofc no one sees it so it's fine. Im just the one who cares and makes jokes. No one bothers to check up on me. Im fine with it. Totally fine with it. This might sound like a complaint, I'm sorry if it does sound like that.


I can't sleep because of him, I haven't slept well in a few weeks.. ever since he uhm.. raped me... Nobody believes me.. Because I'm not physically harmed. I don't know what to do with myself.. I feel like its all my fault..


bee You poor thing, its not your fault he should be disgusted with himself. As for you, let yourself heal it's gonna be ok. Love you


bee youve been through so much and Im so proud of you we all love you so much, take your time and heal.


thank you.. I'm only 15.. I hate this


Ofc. You got this and everything is gonna be ok.


Dont stress it rn and just heal.


okay.. thank you again


idek what to do anymore. I yelled at my mum earlier cause I couldn't stand being told I wasn't helpful whatsoever when I do a lot more things around here and now she's just gonna walk away from our family ig, cool, gotta love that.


honestly love when she shifts the blame on her child when everyone knows equally as well that she's really only leaving cause she realises that I ain't playing her games anymore, so she's got no one left to mess with.


Imagine guilt tripping your own child tho, yikesss.


i dont know what to do about my mental health, its gotten so bad and ive started turning on people lately because theres so much paranoia, nights are getting so bad and i wish there wasnt so much stigma around mental health its what keeps me from being open about it amongst family and friends


thanks for reading and giving me the platform to vent


oop


one of my friends just died due to the new virus and i'm currently depressed right now and feel like m gonna jump of a bridge i'm getting really stressed because of school to i keep thinking about my dead friend and it wont let me sleep and i haven't really studied because of it to even if i do study the teachers say i dont and it makes me stress more


my puppy Penny died yesterday and this is the lowest I have ever been, it hurts so much... she was only 2 months old and we didnt have enough time to save her.. I just feel so sick and tired. I lost my baby and Ill never get her back, Ive never cried more in my life.. I genuinely want to go with her..


trigger warning: Fat Shaming, Suicidal thoughts, Self Harm, Eating Disorder


I have been suffering with suicidal thoughts for a while now and things are driving me to just end it all. my mom has been calling me fat, saying that i will never get a bf/gf and that if i don't lose weight, she's kicking me out and never letting me in. i've already been diagnosed with an eating disorder and my mom is making it worse. sometimes she even says that i should just end it all if i'm becoming fatter and fatter by the week. and she's already made me do stuff like cutting and she's blaming me because of my mental health and saying that i can control my feelings and that i'm just looking for attention when that isn't even the case. i just want her to love me the way she loves all my other siblings. she treats them so politely and doesn't even yell or scream at them. she only does that to me because i'm the middle child and i feel so neglected. she doesnt support me. she will never support me. and that's why i just wanna leave this earth so she can be happy.


i don't feel like talking to you much. you ended up being just like my other friend. you were there and then you left. i know friends come and go but it just hurts. i wanna be happy and supportive that you're distancing yourself but i can't handle change. at the same time i like change but there's just some things that i don't want to change. i myself am also changing for some reason...i've been more forgetful lately and i have to write important stuff down in a notebook to remember. and sometimes my personality switches randomly depending on how i feel. probably just mood swings. i don't know what's happening, everything around me is changing and i just can't keep up. at this point i only have two people that i can fully trust and talk to.


sure, i guess


I promise ik it hurts, but i know its hard to trust that ill stay but i really will: i really care for every one here and that includes you wilbur! Ive been trying to help people hurting. And wilbur i wanted to be your friend even before all of this:


You and the staff like psy and angel comforted me in the chat when i was under distress or trying to comfort myself by using fonts and saying oya!: it feels right to do the same


I really just wanna help everyone


Whos hurting like me


thanks for your concerns, lonnie...it does mean a lot


Youre welcome:


Oh my, sweetie... I am so sorry to hear that you had to fall for someone as careless as him. It's clear that he is a toxic person being just simply by the way he responded to you. If he did actually care then he wouldn't use such harsh and hurtful words, only to end up blocking you after.


You're so strong, so precious... You truly deserve a person thousand times better than him and you are more than welcome to visit my dms whenever you need attention, love or care. I am always here if you ever need help to move on from him, he would have hurted you more if you continued to hang out with him or get even more attached to that person. You're a gem, an angel. You honestly did not deserve to end up getting treated like that and there are amazing people out there who will make you feel like the only person on the world. Don't give up! I promise the right person that will love you more than anything is out there somewhere waiting for you.


And know this, having a crush on anyone isn't a sin, it's just a sign that the person isn't the right one for you and it makes it clear that the person cannot take responsibility of a relationship. I would hype you up anytime, anywhere, as long as it'll help you realize your worth


You are deserving of a caring male that will look after you like you're the only one on his mind so please, be patient and strong. Not for anyone else but for yourself darling


Gerger


my old account got banned


So I've been joining a couple of servers that were labelled sfw or at least looked a lot like a sfw server


But when I joined them they all either were making super offensive jokes, talking a lot of nsfw content, and just generally giving me very uncomfortable vibes.


I've just been really stressed with school work and wanting to join some nice calming servers.


Its just really disappointing to see a really nice and fun looking server that turns out to be so aggressive and overwhelming.


Thank youuu


Npnpnppnpn


Ah okay tyy


You're very welcome


i overlook a lotta stuff and like


Hyperventilating


Not exactly helping the dissociation but I guess thats what I get for thinking about bad stuff and not distracting myself


Chest hurty


Okay feeling a bit better, thank you mood swings


the person who faked his attempt just said im the reason for the drama happening.


oops sorry


didnt realize someone was venting here too hkgfjh


I'm sorry for interrupting anything but i'm seriously so close to crying


so alone..


I..


I wanna apologize.


I finally learned that. Well i was faking osdd.


im sorry ifi offended any systems here, i didnt mean any harm. I was just heavily misinformed and misguided.


Part of me still feels like i have it but thats just a delusion i need to get over,


I cant see a professional


My parents say im perfectly fine


And a therapist cant diagnose me


im just going by what others told me.


Try doing an onlinechatroom with a doctor. I know that some medical sites offer those, and you remain anonymous


it's through text


im not trusting websites anymore but thanks for thr offer.


Hopefully it all gets better soon, that's all I can say for now since access to professionals is hard due to the virus


I feel like im drowning in a deep ocean of fear, despair, sadness, and stress. nothing helps me, and im too scared to tell my parents because they might take away my phone or something like that. i want to stop stressing every minute, every step, every thought. i feel like i cant escape this place and there's no way out.


welp


Im statying to feel a little bit valid.


But not much,


I still feel like i was faking the entire time


Hnng


long story short got called a larping f slur anf someone is trying to comfort me


Larping means youre faking btw


I cried so much my face achez


Idk if im really a system or not anymore


Youre better then them, dont let them ruin your day, youre probably a wonderful person. Youve just gotta move on and give it time


I can go on in more detail but i'd fill up the venting channel so if anyone by any chance can dm that would be really appreciated.


I feel like crying but i'm not even allowed to sweat one tear in this household.


Oh dear I hope you are ok


I suggest using a sleep and meditation app like Headspace


to the part that no matter how hard you wanna lose the person you love no matter how hard you try to make him feel that you love him and you're scared to lose him but it's still end in very painful way... I love him yes I do, I love him so much and trust him so much but I didn't know that so much will hurt me in the end..In having suicidal thoughts again because that person is the only one whom loved me that no one can the one who cared and love me the most... The one who accompanied me whenever I have problems about my family..The one I wanna spend my whe life with... My hope, my tears, my laugh, my love and my everything.. End up going... I wanna fix it so bad..But I feel so tired and I'm at limit already, I don't want to let him go..


Even if it may be hard dont hold into someone for too long. That wont make your case any better by holding on. Try moving on


im starting to crave for suicide again.


i dont understand why.


i tell myself that im just being overdramatic, and that i should keep my head up and focus on my future.


but those words are getting old for me. and my future starts to drift away from me.


my alters cant defend me anymore; they cant handle the bullets they've taken from my parents.


as so as i'd like to call them, ptsd givers.


manipulating my art skills.


telling me that its my fault.


telling me that its easy.


telling me that i'll never go to a good college. telling me that they'll follow me into there.


i start to hate myself and my parents more and more.


they told me that they dont care if i have depression.


they tell me to live my childhood when im mostly isolated, and restricted with casual and fun things.


relationships can ruin you life, my grandma said.


no. thats false.


my relationships only made me stronger, and they turned into lessons that i can learn.


it was my parents.


blaming people aren't fun. but in this case, i'd never want to blame myself for all of this. i was lured in with oblivion, thinking it was my own responsibility.


but no.


i should never blame myself.


it was never my fault in the first place.


i dont want to die. i want to live and explore the world.


but theres always one part of my brain that cuffs me down, telling me otherwise.


okay..?


Things will improve


sorry, im just confusing myself.


And I worry about you


y


i'll save the kindness for later:


Oh? Well I'm free to talk, I hope things will be better soon


hi


ok um


i'll just take a walk


xela


I think i straight up have amnesia


I started feeling happy about a week ago but idk how long it'll last. My parents are nice to me now, I got someone I like and they like me back, my friends are there, I'm actually doing ok in school, I can sleep well if I want but there's a sadness lurking around because I don't want it to end but I know that it will sometime.


Target, I honestly felt that tbh, the only way I managed to convince myself to not feel sad about it was to try enjoy it, and to reminisce on those memories when it eventually all does end, and to try make a new experience similar to that. Honestly has helped me a lot doing that , so hey, maybe it'll work when this does end for chu.


Oh thanks Dyno 3


Ilyt Bro 33


Hm


Don't count yourself out yet


Even not knowing you


I can believe you can strive through your hardships and pain


You don't gotta keep up that smile for people that don't deserve your kindness


Have you contacted your parents and conselours about the bullying?


Ik it sounds cliche but


First action starts with them


If you can look back at your friend and they did that


They weren't your friend to begin with


Just tryna use you


But I believe in you


You can get through it


And become stronger because of it, don't give up just yet


Thanks


Anytime


Your stronger than you know


Just gotta keep going forward never backward


so this is like a weird vent but whatever. i feel like there should be TW but idk what for


My body is weird. I mean,Im happy with it but ig im not really healthy? Like my gums start swelling in the middle of no where i swear i brush my teeth and yesterday my stomach made a popping sound? I mean, I dont know how to cook and FridaysSunday i have to talk care of my sister sense my dad isnt home to do it so we just survive on toast and sandwiches fridaysunday. And when my dad is home he usually sleeps in the day time since when i was little he worked nightshift so he's used to sleeping in the daytime. And my mom isnt really in my life. She just stays in bed and thinks about stuff. And im always tired and stressed out to o anything. gosh,this vent is turning so many ways...


Like nothing happen...


Just a normal conversation


Do you hate me Yuna? Because everytime I try to help you, you reject my help and it hurts


Harry, I said, I needed help. I don't want to hear this all over again, the same advice/ drama. I need a damnit solution.


you ain't helping much, not gonna lie.


Alright, let me treat you like someone new.


Let me read it again... and give you a proper venting message


plus, don't randomly go take online hell things to my personal accounts and all please.


Yuna.. you were literally about to leave discord and I couldnt do anything.. I got desperate... Cant you unblock me? I did nothing wrong and didnt deserve that


Im still upset about this... I have had this on my mind for the past 2 hours


I didnt block.


I closed dms


And I have rights to do that. Don't attack me more then everyone already has done.


I just wanna make you happy Yuna...


You were a mask right? I understand that pain too.. let me show you, 1sec


Read the advice I got while Im writing more advice


NO


I DONT NEED ADVICES


Fine okok


Noo wait


Im writing it takes time


My mental health is already down. Don't even think it's gonna get recovered soon.


Its a mask... you wear it to fake the other emotions.. I use it all the time... just cry sometimes.. thats what I do.. it helps


Thats my fix


It helps a bit yes, in fact, I tried it and it kinda helped me for 1 week but then the people did the same as before I wore a mask.


I acted all happy and cheerful. I got heck in return. A clap in my face. Sometimes I feel my heart could stop beating anytime. I feel some thightness on it that makes it shake with my body, so my brain becomes a mess, my body is feeling weird and more.


It's not the thightness of love, no, in fact, it's the thightness of pain. Emotions that can't escape.


And if they could, the door is always closed, because I don't know how.


Yea, I say that the feeling youre on about is like a void, this dark pit that is squeezing my heart. I know it


I also said that my head is like a maze, that I always keep hitting dead ends


I know... and I realise that I cant help you...


It hurts


It's no use, don't try helping when it won't work.


at least


for me it doesn't work.


sounds cold, I know. But this is for the best for me and others.


Don't know what to say anymore.


plus, you never hurt me, the thing I got mad at you for 1 day was the time you didn't believe me I had some home problems. But I got over it. It doesn't matter. The decisions we make now make our future. And this decision you've made now, can help us further to friends, can help us better to a better bond.


I hurt you, yes.


you didn't hurt me at all.


cheria x.x i pinged you because you didn't answer, maybe you're afk so yeah.


cheria x.x it's fine.


i stay up all night, tell myself im all right. sometimes it's just harder to see then most. i put some music, wait til i hear my song, every night im dancing by myself...


Girl had the audacity of a witch to call me rude, when all I did was call her by her old name


she didnt even tell me she preferred the other name


i hate life. my mom cares more about my grades than my feelings and me in general. i want to explain it to her but then she'll blame it on social media. she found out i had 1 missing assignment and she is taking away my phone, ipad, and every tech i own but my pc for school. she blames my social media for my unmotivation and stress when its really because of school. social media is helping me become motivated and not stressed day by day and when she takes it away it breaks my heart. i just want to live a normal life without the highest expectations.


i hope things get better


Thanks


, funny


Just don't give up the hope, alright?


Have a good day hope, thank you for your kind message. It means a lot. Yes, dont worry. I believe in 2 words. Faith and Hope.


Damn, alright, also tip, don't check chat LMAO


I'm trying to escape but i don't know where to run, my classmates think i'm weird and they call me out for being different. I was always different than others. I feel like there's something wrong with me, the way i think or the way i act. I question it all the time, i want time to stop. I seriously am sick of crying all the time


Hey, it's gonna be fine. Just have hope that it will work out. If you try talking it out with them, it might turn out fine. Don't give up so easily! If your classmates think you're weird, screw them. If you don't have a place where you belong, build one. And if you can't.. Take one.


I'd be your first friend to help you, if I'm first LMAO and I'd be grateful to get to help you, I'd try anything I can. Just believe in those two words: hope and faith


damnit wrong emoji


Goodbye my friends i cant take anymore...


Life gets better don't focus on negativity when there are more things to life than just those


@.SYO that is not your purpose however, even if you're asked to do things like that you can do more than just that


You can find things that make you happy and create your own space


I feel that same way ren.


I don't do things anyone I went to school with were doing, like I want to be an author and no one even thinks about writing like that while they're in school anymore.


You gotta let yourself take breaks or you'll lose the people you care about most, mental health plays a huge factor in things like that.


my mom recorder me singing. i have panic attacks low selfesteem so i start crying when someone films me on tape and does it when i told them not to, so im crying/hyperventalating.


A shoutout to my dad,


For forcing me to go to a public restaurant because he is too lazy to cook,


For making a warning tone because I asked If we could just eat canned food,


For still not taking a bath after we go home and didnt spray a frickin alcohol.


Gee thanks dad!


Try talking it out with him. That might help. If he doesn't want to talk, tell him in what kind of pandemic we're in. Have faith and believe in hope.


If maybe I hadn't ran away from my problems, if I hadn't been such a coward, if I stopped thinking things would fix themselves and I quit being a coward, all my problems wouldn't come to attack me one day. I will admit I was getting my life on some path but now I feel as if I'm going offroad. It's like, last year I was so happy and I miss everything. Nostalgia keeps on getting into me one way or another. I want things just to go somewhat well.


I've been avoiding some kinds of excitement/ emotions towards everyone. I feel like the coldest, passive agressive person who has no equipment with those. I feel emphasized by the consideration of falsifying it around my friends. People always deliberate that I am constructive. I'm in matter of fact not constructive in any way. I feel terrible in the way I'm being dishonest with everyone. I want to transpose to become a preferable person. I don't know how.


I've been avoiding some kinds of excitement/ emotions towards everyone. I feel like the coldest, passive agressive person who has no control with those. I feel stressed by the thought of lying around my friends. People always think that I am positive. I'm in matter of fact not positive in any way. I feel terrible in the way I'm lying to everyone. I want to change to become a better person. I don't know how.


Simplified version.


Ping when responded.


dear @ Hope ,


hmm, Hope, I think all you need to do it open up. and I know that's not the easiest thing on the planet to do, speaking as I myself and a friend of mine have the very same issue. but that's why we take it slow when bringing people in. as someone who speaks with you a bit on a personal level I can definitely say you're not the coldest person I've met not even in sayu. you have a warmth and an ease to you and I personally enjoy it. it's a lot of fun. though I don't expect you to be positive all the time, and i don't think anyone else expect you to be either. Sayu is a place meant for people to be themselves. without hesitation however much there may be. but also keep in mind change doesn't happen over night.'' I learned the same thing the hard way. if you want to become a better person little by little look at the things you do now and see what you could do better about them. look at the people around you as role models there's so many of them here and they're happy to help.


ps, you're a lot more honest than you think so don't automatically think you're lying to everyone silly. there's no rush so pace your adorable self.


much love saph.


thanks


uwu


A bot


Just deleted


Everything


That i sent


Yikes my girl


And i sent a huge huge paragraph


And didnt save it


someone told me i was a BEEP BEEPING BEEP in a nitro giveaway server, when i havent done anything wrong. it was a dazai kinnie and that made me really sad to see that people are like that.


and like.


THEY'RE MAD BECAUSE THEY'RE BEING PINGED?


ik people can be like that.


but like,


i wasnt pinging them!


i was replying!


so i got hurt.


I always feel like crying in school, presenting something or even just unmuting my microphone or being forced to. Its not my parents or my family, its school. When I dont understand, I start to tear up. I have no motivation to get up in the morning. I dont even have to do anything, as soon as i remember class exists i start getting teary


hi so uh im 100 sure everyone hates me so yea im not gonna be here for much longer, i just wanna feel loved


anastasia you are loved no matter what! you should never doubt yourself on that point or any other points 3 you're truly loved, by me and probably by many more!


np xd


anastasia qt you have so much to live for don't die yet! Have you seen a double rainbow? Have you went on a ferris wheel in Germany? What countries do you wanna go to? Please don't waste it! I'm sure life's tough rn but it will get better someday and if it's not better then someday hasn't arrived yet.


I'm sorry my advice is horrible dopbivpsgu9vsvuoscfysoc


xdd


I totally agree with what you say there, neve


uwu


I was going to help but everyone has been helped, if anyone needs help. Dm me. Ill help you with instant replies, or try to


last part is a joke to try lighten the mood of this a bit xd


been feeling kind of blank, feel like i'm on the verge of snapping


maybe i'll delay it


running out of reasons to care


my demons are catching up to me


i'm tired of it all


.. Im ok.


I lost a friend today


Imma probs delete my acc in a bit srry 3333


TW: Suicidal Thoughts and other random stuff


I don't understand... how are people seem so happy all the time? How are people makin friends? How does it everyone make it so easy? I don't understand... I wanna be happy so badly, Ive been trying to act happy this whole time. Im so jealous over it the people who can smile and laugh... i wanna be happy too. I wanna smile, and laugh as well. I wanna be included without havin to act fake. I hate it... and everyday is another issue...another problem to stress over..


and how come it's so easy for people to leave me? I dont understand.. I tried so hard to be nice to them and funny...how come they left me? why did they leave? why are they fading away? How come they never dm me, do they just dm me when their bored? Do they just dm me because they feel bad... I dont understand.


Dont even get me started on my suicidal thoughts...i feel like if I died...maybe people will finally realize my importance, and realize how much I worth. Maybe... I die...then I don't have to worry. I don't have to fake, I dont have to fear nor do I have to worry about being myself anymore. I dont have to worry about my mom screaming at me telling me these horrible things I am everyday. I dont have to work myself to the limit, I dont have to work so hard to show people what im capable of anymore. I dont have to cry everyday... or anything. I can finally rest, finally relax. Nothing, just resting... and no one will ever hurt me again.


sorry if my advice is bad as hell, i'm sick as heck and i'm just a bad advisor.


my dms are always open for any vents, i could also just be your real friend, but it doesn't matter at all. i was alone when i was younger too, and i didn't care, because I was being me, and people started liking me for that.


now i'm giving the words to harry cause i know he is a better helper


exactly this, cries, my words died


i mean, im trying


my best but i kinda failed towards your paragraph


cries


Its not a competition, words from the heart are equal.:3


GJSDHJF omg where do you get those heart touching sentences


My heart


LMAO


gib me a copy of ur heart pls, i need those sentences to survive


please don't converse in here. unless you're helping someone otherwise move it to chat


I badly wanna go home. 11th day passed, and I feel like I am dying. I am missing my parents so much... They do too... But one month in the hospital because of my mental analysis... Please no...


hopefully ur parents still stay safe too


They do.


Sooo... I dont know how to feel. Found out that my Nan has 6 months left to live. And thats the best case scenario. I just... Im speechless... Ill be ok, its my mum that Im worried about. Weve already lost my uncle this year. Now this. Oh boy... and 2021 was supposed to be a better year.


I'm personally not the best at giving advice in these types of situations, but personally all you can really do is live through it. People go and changes happen. You have to learn to let go of people even if they are someone you knew your whole life. If your mother gets into a bad mental state and starts doing anything unnecessary or suicidal to cope with the pain call a nearby police station, for now you can help your mother learn healthy coping strategies to cope with the recent deaths and you guys can just hope for a miracle to happen. But I wish your family the best of luck, please take care of yourself and mother.


Thanks both of you, I appreciate it. Imma go offline for a bit. I need to relax. Ill be okay, imma not be sad and be hopeful.


I'm glad to hear, stay safe


Tyty, Ill be watching YouTube:p again... happy thoughts, happy mindset. Imma get through this.


Ty both.. this will get me through this. Im feeling confident


That's my friend, always feel confident, okay? Never let anything throw you down.


i just got back into listening to avicci, and i started uncontrollably crying because of how much i miss him.. sorry for any spelling errors here because i was crying while typing this...


britthetransgirl its alright. it will be fine, these things happen and sometimes youll miss them, but unfortunately your life goes on without the people you wanted to.


my exboyfriend is creating multiple accounts to text me, i'm scared... He's 18 and i'm 14, that's why i decided not to talk to him anymore, but he's still talking to me :


can i vent in someones dms?


Oof


I'm sorry to hear that kiyoko


Maybe he just really cares about u or something?


I mean it is kind of weird the age dif


How old were yall when yall first met?


Age wouldn't matter here, a 4 year age gap is 4 years. Honestly, you should report this to someone who can actually deal with this properly and get him put in jail. This is kinda disgusting that he's still tryna talk to you with these current conditions and the fact he's willing to try block evade as well is even worse. Ik it's scary and crap to report this to an adult, but you need to, it's necessary at this point.


Well thats why I asked when they met


If they met like in the last year or earlier then yea but like if they met 3 or 4 years ago then like


Idk


It is still bad in a sense


The problem is the fact of how young they are and its the age gap


If they were in their 20s or above then no one would care


So it really just depends on how you look at it as well


But it is bad in a sense on how he keeps bypassing the blocking part


U have ur reason for not wanting to talk to him so he should accept it


And eventually you'll either unblock him or not he's just going to have to move on


currently


maybe ask the dean personally what the call was about and explain the situation to your parents. I haven't personally experienced it but I know people sometimes get falsely accused by accident. maybe your parents will trust your judgements when you explain your side. I'm sorry this is happening...


My parents don't want me talking to him, so


i see


your safety is more important than a discord job


it's you before everything else


yup


been like a year clean, this streak is ruined now


but it feels so good, i cant help myself.


i wanted to feel it again. theres just so many things going on


i feel so sorry for the people who supported me, who congratulated me. now its ruined.


Don't do that


Self harm is never the answer


Might be a surprise, but i feel better while talking to people in this server, mostly in VCs


maybe your right. but my voice is


shaky right now


but thank you! ill try my best


If you excuse me I'm going to go have a mental breakdown because my English teacher hasn't let me into the Zoom meeting and class started nearly 10 minutes ago and now I'm going to get marked as absent despite showing up for class okay bye


Edit: Everything's fine now. Turns out it was just a Zoom mistake and I didn't miss the actual lesson


Don't forget to drink water kids


could i maybe vent to someone in dms?...


nono im perfectly fine with that... thank you, ill be there in a few


i'll wait.


i want to remind everyone here that i love them


Nicey


Mar You don't get it. Okay, for example this message.


The assumption is that I expect a response to it. If I don't get one, I made a wrong assumption.


Every thought and action has one tied to it.


See. Everything is an assumption.


I wouldn't call that an assumption I was just giving an answer


Things can be impulse though not necessarily assumptions


Life isn't really all assumption because we have to learn to take risks and instincts.


But we take risks because of assumptions we'll succeed.


Not really


There is a thing such as trial and error


I personally don't take risk on assumptions that I'll succeed. I simply go through them in my attempts to grow as a person


We all make mistakes


It's a subconscious thing. You might not acknowledge you are always assuming but you are.


I'm not assuming at all


The first stage of grief is denial.


Simply making a risk isn't an assumption. Not everything in life is assumption otherwise you become self centered in your own thoughts


Trial and error doesn't mean you are guaranteed things


Assumptions don't make people self centered. They're just the driving force behind our actions.


Like if I have options they aren't really assumptions because I can't predict the outcomes you know?


But you are predicting them. You can't predict them accurately, but you always expect something.


I don't think assumptions are the driving force or you're giving yourself false expectations


I don't go about my day assuming things


Everyone does.


This is what I've learned.


No they don't


Believe it or not, your decision.


They really don't actually


People always deny the bitter, complicated truth in the face of simpler sources to blame stuff on.


It's like saying I assumed you got the right amount of sleep


When some don't


And get like 5 hours of rest


You don't say you made an assumption unless you're confident in it.


But we always make them.


I don't.


That's the point


As you say. This isn't helping me, so I'll go now.


Fair enough


Today really isn't a good day


afk


I kind of disagree with ur assumption like form of decision making to a degree cause theirs a slight difference between trying to predict what might happen depending on what choice u made and assuming something might happen


Causw most people don't assume anything will happen they predict or hope something might happen


When it comes to decisions in life you don't really assume. It's not like when ur in a conversation and misinterpret wbat someone's saying or doing because u assume their meaning the opposite or doing something else


Where as in decisions u make in life they can go any way and lead to hundreds of different outcomes that no one can assume on or even predict to a degree


Life just happens based on luck and your surrounding even if you try to assume whats going to happen as u say or predict in another most likely your going to be wrong


I might have read that convo wrong but who knows


Also how does the first stage of grief have anything to do with someone disagreeing with u on ur comment


I loathe food.


I really dont know what to say or how to help with the situation


I havnt had to deal with that type of problem or anything of the sort


All I can say is I hope things get better and ur able to move past it with alot more life experience and being able to take care of yourself and be appreciated by others better than your mum and the other people in your life


And if you need anyone to talk to or anything feel free to message me or anything


thank you 33


This is a verbal warning, and you know who you are. I just purged the chat from your vent because it broke rules of sayu. We arent a dating server, and no matter the severity of the situation you arent allowed to enlist the help of people to break that rule.


Next time members, dont indulge into vents that obviously break our rules.


ofc! uwu


Oof


What was the problem?


Or vent?


nipotino it has been deleted so there won't be any talk of it:


Cant say


I dont wanna get banned from this server, I like it too much


No I meant in dms


Like if ur dealing with a problem u can just dm me and I can try and help


That way server people don't get upset


Idk if thats allowed


small vent:


if you dont know me well, you might know me as the girl in main chat you barely see, but uses a lot of emotes, like a lot. i really enjoy using them but im scared to show that to my other friends. to them im more of an bold always typing in caps texter but i really arent and i have hid this cutesy personality from all my friends and i only really let it show here, even though i have only been here for a day. how do i tell them i dont actually act like how they think and i act all cutesy


If theyre your real friends they would accept you for your true self


im not sure they are my real friends


Awe:


Well hey if they dont accept you everyone here loves you


I kinda feel sick


I saw a name that made me have flashbacks and I now I feel sick and close to crying


Im not feeling well at all


I just wanna curl up in a ball and just cry so bad


My eye is infected from crying yesterday, I feel sick


Oh no, I hope your eye gets better space: Im not an expert in things like the human body but everythings going to be alright


Thank you:


No problem 3 your health always comes first


I am questioning my gender  I feel nauseous  omg please


This mix of comfort, fear, excitement and dread is a lot


Uhm


What?


Eh?


Experiment with what?


Basically just like do stuff with your appearance and whatnot, and see what feels good and what doesnt for you


At least thats how I take it


Since they eatin


Ok so I got that completely wrong


Alright


Do I have to censor or no?


Not sure, Id ask in questions


Also i tried trying it but it made me feel funny so I ended up playing 45 out of 50 levels of run on cool math games


Yeah I asked them.


Yeah definitely, thanks again


anytime 3


tw gender dysphoria i dont wanna trigger anyone's dysphoria


dysphoria time


hsjhsjsuisshj idk what to ddo


i wanna be something but i dont know what


and i know what my parents want me to be


so thats becoming my main influence


yet i know i dont wanna be who my parents want to be


but do i not want to? i dont know anymore everything is so confusing i ccant


ppl seem so happy w/ themselves and like im just here being upset not knowing whatt i wanna be


tw: suicide self harm


i dont wanna exist anymore. i cant do this. life is so cruel.


im lonely, sad, and judged all the time. i wanna be taken seriously,


and i need help.. i dont want to live. i cant do this. im not doing


good at all. the only coping i can do w myself is talking to myself or goddam


ctting myself. i dont know what to do. i just want a friend..


i wanna be happy again.. i miss myself. the happy me.. WHY DID U LEAVE


U LEFT ME. WHAT HAPPENED. I JUST WANNA BE HAPPY OK.


i dont know myself anymore. i feel numb and i dont feel happy ever,


i keep having anxiety attacks and people, are worried about me but i dont


wanna bother anyone and i just dont know why i exist anymore i dont


contribute to anything. i dont feel motivated to do sh and i lost interest in everything


i cant why why why why why why why..?!


sorry if im like bothering u or sum


i'm gonna make this kinda quick but my bf recently broke up with me and i'm absolutely not taking it well. he was very nice about it and wanted to stay friends, we only broke up because he was under some stress but it sucks so bad... i loved him so much and i thought things were going well. anyone know how to get over someone? because i am having a very hard time trying to not think about it.


Good luck!


both of you please stop bickering. this is not the place for that.


im pissed off and devastated because this artist is a loli c and their art is super cute and it makes me want to cry about it


yes, i cry about art


smtimes i feel like i lack talent, especially since my family is super toxic


its about an artist named usashiro:


i try making art but im nowhere near as gud as other ppl


the art is really amazing! but the person, not so much.


same here.


now im struggling


let's not make casual conversation in a venting channel please.


My parents are having a divorce, Im staying with my mother but she is extremely toxic, I was planning to tell my friends about it but they have their own problems and they're keep saying that their problems are much worse and are taking it out on me. I still have no shoulder to lean on, its the same problem from the other vent I said


its a pretty short vent.


hi im not that good with this stuff but my dms are open if u wanna talk?im nervous to talk in here but i still wanna help


really love my life parents are forcing me to do the stuff i don't wanna do. long story short, school.


i've honestly been paranoid as hell the past like week or two, as to why? I can't say without risking exposure, but, it's not that hard to connect the dots if you're a friend of mine. All imma say is, i'm leaving Sayu cause of this, I don't feel comfortable anymore because of how edge I've been. Been fun, ig.


aww, im sorry that you feel like that. although i didnt get to know you well, i hope the best for you.


why do i cry about the smallest things?


why does my alter make better friends than me?


why do i wake up at the worst time?


why am i so fragile, and forgetful?


i keep telling myself that im okay; theres nothing to worry about; and that im just overworrying myself.


why did my connection leave?


did i make them feel bad?


why cant i act like myself? i wish to talk to others like i do on this server, but i have to hide it with a facade that i despise. i wish to know others better, i wish i wasnt so awkward, and i wish i could tell myself to be cuter, at the times when i really need it. i wish i wasnt able to drive myself insane all the time.


im so lost. im just rlly confused about everything. im questioning my personality, my family, my future...just about everything. im stressed, im tired, im in fear, im upset and overall i cant think straight. i feel so unimportant...so disposable. i feel like if i just disappear then everything would be ok. people won't have to feel disappointed me or have to worry about me anymore. its not like i have a purpose in life anyways. my emotions are messed up too. i can either be really numb to everything or really emotional. i keep getting told that i have so much support around me and that im more fortunate then a lot of people. but am i really? are people telling me this to invalidate me? am i really overreacting? i dont understand whats wrong with me...


You're welcome


Again, I really do believe you got the potiental for some great things


this isn't really such a major vent it's just more of a confusion so today on my lunch break and i was with my bestfriend and a friend of her's and her friend offered her to go a party at like her dads beach house and after i heard it i got highly jealous which is kinda awkward for me but i dislike jealousy which makes me sound like a hypocrite but i'm totally not, overall i'm confused on if it was really jealousy or a slight different feeling please @ me or reply to my message if you respond.


Can I dm someone about something personal please..?


Its okay I got support:


But I could still dm you tho


Sure


Oh


Well thats good


Honestly this isnt a major vent but more of like just blurting out how I feel So lately I havent really been feeling wanted or needed its not because of anyone in particular its just for some reason I've been lacking self esteem. I havent been feeling like myself and it upsets me because I wanna be there for people who love me and care about me but I just cant deal with all of these emotions at once


And its like ive never told anyone really how I feel because I dont want their pity


And i dont want them to get worried


But if I do vent to people its like they wouldnt give me advice or assure me things are okay


All they would do is just read it and say oh me too and that would force it from me going to them venting


When I actually want some advice


Or just someone telling me its gonna be okay


And honestly lately ive just been feeling like an option to everyone


Like im not needed


But more say like a last resort


Think of it like this, you are needed and kou knows iit, since if you where a last resort why are you a staff? staffies are super important and super cool people!


people most likely say oh me too because they aren't sure what to say, and are scared if they do say something you might get the wrong idea


at least that what kou thinks


lots of love: your local 3rd person speaker, kou


I'll try my best to help. When I feel like I don't belong, I listen to music to calm myself down or to relax. It really helps. I also do my assignments to help me be more productive and responsible.


I've never really given advice before...


I also like surrounding myself with people I trust


parents say Take time to think. Like, I DO. I always think, i overthink, i think, but not at the moment you want me to. Spend time with your family. Like, You don't ask. Get better grades. You taking my internet limits that.


I can relate to this


I know my friends will be there but sometimes I overthink about my messages to them. Like I feel like they're gonna get like annoyed at me at one point and possibly leave me. Then there's school and assignments. So many requirements. I'm actually doing an assignment due tomorrow right now. I'm pretty tired. I feel guilty. I wanna say something like I'm trying my best but it never works. I feel like my grades used to be high but now they're like above average but doesn't stand out. I want to feel more confident about my messages, my grades, myself, the things that I say, etc...


I'm sorry to see u feel that way


I tried to message to talk to u there or whatever but it wont let me so yea


I hope ur able to finish ur assignment and go to bed soon since ur tired


Also at least ur trying ur best


Thats really all one can ask for


Awww thankss


um, i'm going to vent ab smt, if that's ok


Absolutely


I'm sorry to hear ur dealing with all that stuff


I really dont know what to say tbh


I'm sorry


But don't delete it cause there's probably other people here that can really help u or are going through the same thing and yall might be able to help each other


Love you too3


then when i try to go to sibling abuse recovery or atleast get help shes like do i even abuse you?” or doesnt want me to have my phone because I make it all about me”


or even just kind words from strangers shes rude about it and doesnt want me on my phone


she complains on how i never change clothes when i dont have any to wear, she acts like i ruin everything


cw for drugs and sh


i found out how to light a lighter properly and now i can smoke weed/cigs or burn myself AND i found a razor blade in my lil self harm kit i have hidden in my room. tonights gonna be fun:


this is not made by me i found it in a server and thought i would spread this message


Wow um I need to vent a lot. I play flute and Im trying to do an audition right now. Ever since practice yesterday, the music sounded like pure crap. I really wouldve thrown it at the wall. The audition deadline is tomorrow. I watched some YT videos for reference and more. But watching it really just makes me feel like they play much better, because they do. Honestly, I havent been a good player anyways. Every time I try again, it makes me feel worse and cry every time I fail. Theres always something that gets in the way. It makes me feel untalented and useless compared to others. Flute is my only instrument and when I like other instruments that I want to try, I just dont want to take classes or tryouts because they feel embarrassing to me. I just feel like giving up but I dont want to because my parents payed for the flute, my books, my classes. But I dont know what to do if my music just continues to sound like this. I know I can just practice but I get distracted and busy a lot, and its hard for me to play because I take short breaths.


tw: bullying


so kou was at volleyball today, and in volleyball we need to run. issue is, kou has a weird style of running. if you play genshin impact, think of the way qiqi or klee runs, or if you dont think of a person running, but their arms are spread out like a T. kou was running and a bunch of people where laughing at her for the way she runs, this has happened a few times, but kou didnt mind until now, since we where playing a match


thank you


tw: mention of sicide


i honestly cannot i just agh... i can barely express the emotions running through my head right now. out of nowhere i started sobbing and wanted to off myself on the spot but then i snapped back and was hella confused and still crying. then i had a random dysphoria spark and started crying again because i felt like i didn't know who i was anymore. i don't know what's going on with me. something's wrong.


you'll regret it. And stop depriving yourself from food, you're just making it worse for yourself. No, you aren't being dramatic. Get up, help yourself to some food, relax, don't think too much about others. They aren't as important as you are to yourself.


im tired of people playing favorites honestly, its so annoying. giving their friends passes to do more only cause their your friends and not your actual co workers. especially when youre doing a job that requires you not to biased. your co workers ask for one thing and you dont provide but you whine for it for your friends and they get it. the double standards is quite annoying and im bout ready to hop out. especially when the same co workers as to do the same job you gave ur friend but u didnt reply to them yikes. im officially over this.


Oof


Life's unfair, you just either deal with the problem or you sit through it.


Don't give up on yourself.


It isnt jus an blame it on life being unfair” thats just biases and its annoying. this makes me want to leave discord all together


this is human consciousness and awareness and people choosing to be biased just my best friend works here now and i like them more


especially when your co workers been there longer and deserves most of the positions being given away


oh i thought you were talking about a job in the real world


it makes more sense now


nope


I understand your thoughts about inequality but that is how people are, they choose people they like over who is more important. That is human nature, it's always been like that especially nowadays. I've been on the other end of the spectrum, and I've seen people get punished for things they did while I didn't when I was doing it. Unfair isn't it? Just because you like someone doesn't mean you should disrespect everyone else. My point is, don't take this standing down, don't tell me oh i talked to them about it but they won't listen. Of course they won't, why would they? There's ways you can right this, but I'm not going to tell you how, because that's not my job, that's yours.


now if you'll excuse me I need to make myself some salad


Thanks for the help you, you tried at least and I appreciate that, so thank you.


of course, im sorry you're going through that


It's alright I guess, it's my problem I'm through this I guess.


daisy I removed it, maybe they can help with the rest I guess.


bye tysm that helped me a lot


i have no intention or active will to do anything yet i will pay with my life for my loved ones


Vent: i dropped my croissant


minor vent: we dont know how to deal with this.. so this person wants us to make a twitch banner for them, but we dont know how. and also, we've seen the things they stream so we can explore our possibilities with the banner. we dont know how to make a banner for twitch, and we're stressing a bit here because we want to do other stuff. what should we do?


You can always take these opportunities babes, but you definitely need to converse with that person


The only people who can say things are actually racist are the people you are targeting


TW: shooting, stabbing


Yesterday, me and my friend met up to hang out and have some lunch. My mom and bro dropped me off and they went to do some shopping. After me and my friend were done, we met up with my mom and bro after we finished looking around the strip mall outdoor mall on a strip lane. My mom and my bro went to a store to buy some things, and me and my friend followed them... That store that we went to, my friends mom told him that there was a shooting earlier today. Both of us were shocked, especially because I havent really decided when we should have lunch. So I chose the 13th on Saturday as I didnt want my parents to confuse it as a Valentines date. And Im so glad that we chose to go out yesterday instead of today. If we did go today, literally me and my friend, and our families would have been at high risk of being shot and dying. I would have also been at risk if I went out today earlier too. I wasnt feeling well today, and my mom told me that we should go out to a shopping center. Even though it wasnt at the strip mall, it was still very nearby and heck who knows the risks. Im just so glad that me, my friend, and our families are still here till this day. And now also a few mins ago, there was a report of a stabbing ? incident at the same place. I just cant imagine what could have happened if me and my friend went there today.haven96cry


i can't stop shaking


i just wanna sleep


please


i don't know why but out of no where i felt kinda reckless and started crying so hard


i feel like nothing can be done right.


i dont wanna go into detail but i just wanna leave so bad. but whatever im tired of everyone especially him:/ i feel so disgusted with myself for the past few days and i cant escape it i see them everyday. so i wont be in the server for a while i'll miss you guys so much but i really done with everyone. take care everyone xoxo


i dont know how to stop becoming so oversensitive. being ignored and things we dont know how to overcome that. we've had that trait for over many years, and still cant get over it. although we alters are different from one another, we have two traits in common. which is jealousy and oversensitivity. does anyone know how to overcome this?


Over sensitivity eh? I used to be like that, I was quite sensitive myself and would cry from pretty much anything. I think the only way I managed to finally overcome it was to seperate myself from the reason for that, the people I was around to be more specific. As sad and disappointing as it may be to hear, I think it was also something to do with the fact I that as I grew up, I became more mature, which may have played a part as well in it.


I'm honestly sorry that wasn't as helpful as it could have been, gl with this tho!


das good den:3


I was about to help atsushi in her vent, but then some other amazing people came before me


ping when u respond please


pog


My friend is addicted to burning their own skin. They burn the skin on their hands and then peel it off and when it bleeds they burn it again to cauterize it. It looks really bad and idk how to help them


Have you asked them why they are doing this? Maybe talking with her about this will help you to understand her and then you can try to help. Because burning your skin is awful and she must have a reason why she's doing it...


i feel very ignored in a server that became one of my comforts back then... i dont know what i did wrong, i was just inactive because i was actually very busy..


my whole reason of downloading discord was because of them, now it feels like Im being ghosted there now


I dont think Ive done anything bad.


Aww, yeah I guess so.. but thank you sm!


Yw 3


what?


So I have a lot of hidden feeling and I don't know how to explain, I will try my best...


I feel like I am trapped in a cage, school doesn't let me do ANYTHING I want to do... My father always wants me to dress like HE says and I cannot wear my shorts, nor cropped tops when I am with him BECAUSE he wont let me go out with those clothing, on the other hand when I am with my mother she does let me, but she wants to keep me INSIDE the house not doing ANYTHING watching the BORING tv shows she watches, and when I am with her she takes away my phone and won't let me text with anybody so I just sneak it on my pocket and use it while she is looking away, I feel TRAPPED because I know I'm old enough to do what I want... And my parents are jerks. My sister is another rude, because she NEVER calls me since we live far away and she always wants ME to call HER and she NEVER calls ME so I gotta do EVERYTHING and it is not fair for me. I hate feeling like this. My other brother is very nice, no complainings about him, but my 3rd and last brother... He also lives far, I went to his house to visit and he did NOT say A WORD, I tried but... Yeah... Also.. I like someone, but I am not really sure, and he likes someone else so I feel kind of sad... Any recommendations to cure myself inside? I feel bad... very, even thought it doesn't look like...


I feel better now that I let it out...


im crying rn from this thank you sm3


i feel bad when i vent, i feel like i put my pain on your shoulders are you okay too? if not i wouldnt want to make your day worse


okay, i was just trying to make sure but if you need to vent ever know you can to me


okay


I'm gonna vent here about something poopy


So I got warned for using a stolen emoji, and I blocked the person when they were gonna give me evidence, but I blocked them way before when they didn't respect the decision that I didn't want them to tell me not f2u all the time I use a stolen emoji, it's not in the rules that you can't use stolen emojis, and everyone in Discord does it, so yeah...:


It's just poopy that I get a warning for using an emoji...


When it's not even on my own server, it's literally on a friend's.


That's all I have.


And it was literally in this server


Where can i chat


Can someone tell me where is main chat


i am extremely stressed for the ACT and its a lot sooner than i expected


thank you sm3


I know i shouldn't be saying this but the past few weeks have been sleepless nights, my parents are always fighting, it's to the point that I'm scared they'll have to separated. I'm not going to specify exactly why they're fighting, but it's just making me cry and I'm already paranoid enough. School's been rough for me too. I know it's not healthy to have a lot of things going on in my life. I really just want to go back to my peaceful old life, sorry for being too overdramatic. I've been holding this for a while. That's all I have to say, sorry for being a bother to you.


I think im gonna release the stress im getting, and if you dont understand, that's okay.


im scared.


im really scared.


I cant leave my room, im losing relationships with people who love me, I really wana come out, I can't.


they blame me, I know its not my fault, am I doing something wrong?


it can't be my fault, they love me, right?


they beleive in me.


they should atleast.


dads gone.


he can't help me.


neither can my mom.


divorced.


split.


sadness.


I blame myself.


I hide away, can't come out.


suffering, I cant leave.


I want help.


do you need help?


yes


what is your problem?


I feel sad, I need friends


why don't you make friends?


im scared


stop being scared its so simple


I cant im sorry


please help me


why did you hurt me


hurt


I feel hurt


I cant stop hurting


it feels dark


really dark


help,


Try to stop overthinking about bad and dark stuff and try thinking about wholesome stuff


Thats not easy,


Yes i know


That's why i want u to keep trying!


Maybe think about ur pet and how cute they are


I say that to myself, so thanks for that reminder


Or maybe think about how chocolate is made


oh


sorry


Its fine


I just got a lot on my mind, and its typical for me to overthink


Ive been stressed for way to long


So letting this out was a relief for now


I hope everything goes well over there


Gl


I'll keep that in mind


Sorry about my horrible english


Im so close to end my contact with everyone and Im so spoiled I have no reason to be sad


I can get almost anything I want with asking, and I dont get punished for not doing school


Yeah I may be spoiled but that doesnt mean Im not hit or mentally hurt every day by my parents and family members


abuse is a scary word for me


this is unhealthy i get anxiety attacks every afternoon and i dont know what to do i shake so much not knowing what to do or go i just want it to end


asi


sery


i like doing that and eventually i got used to it


tw: possible triggers of specific topics, im not sure


im so tired... im just so tired of everything. im tired of myself and i hate how i do so many things that i dont wanna do and feel stuff I dont wanna feel. im in need of attention sm, i crave it but i dont wanna bother ppl and be annoying. i wanna talk to my crush... lets call him short stack, but i dont have the damn courage to. im so stubborn and dumb and childish and unneeded, it hurts to know all this and the worst part is ppl tell me so, so many reasons that im not all that but its just the vibe they give off is... completely different. its like my parents, ik im a burden to them sm its up to the point where they only notice me for my mistakes. but thats it im not gonna go into detail aha. i just want everything to be ok again, before i fully understood love. before i got attached to technology. before i was such a mess.


it shouldn't have happened


it's not fair


it's really not fair, .


irs too early for this and Im already stressed. I have a few missing assignments but I cant stop dissociating and letting my alter switch in. I have to watch over this child too, and Im already stressed enough.


sorry if there's no spoiler tags. it would delete my message if i tagged it too much.


i just lost my bestfriend of 4 years


Today my friend joined one of the servers im in and they started to expose the things he did in the passed and stuff and then he full on blocked me of embarrassment. That was the past, Bad memories, I don't really gaf about the past. But this really hurt deep inside. He was my bestest friend in the world, Anything I could've asked for, But it all came to an end today.


It's just.. when the world came to a bad space for me, he was always there for me.


This is really really stupid but my teacher just removed a recommendation from the class I wanted. It was either math analysis honors or precalc enriched. She originally put me in math analysis, but then today we talked and she removed me from that class. This class was one of the only recommendations I cared about. Probably the only one. The rest of my classes were basically already set, and there was nothing the teacher could do to change the recommendation because I am on a path with certain classes. Math analysis was something I really wanted, and idk i cried on cam when she said she wasnt comfotrable plading me in that class.


you can ignore this i just needed to vent sometwhere


im too embarrassed to say this to friends and family


they r probbaly gonna be so disapooint ed


Trigger warning Someone keeps spamming me with r4pe videos im crying so much


block them please


I feel like everyone hates me and I can't make friends bc of this. I get too scared to talk to anybody bc I think that I'm the most annoying person in this world and they're definitely gonna hate me. I feel like I don't deserve any love and nobody wants my love either so I'm very cold and it's very difficult for me to say things like I love you bc I think people are gonna get disgusted by it, because it's me and I'm annoying and disgusting. Tho I'm trying to overcome this so I joined this server and I decided to talk, and I'm very grateful bc the people here seem to be nice 3 but I don't wanna trust them so much bc what if they're acting or something. If I'm annoying to you, I'm so sorry :. I wish I could be someone else or just not exist so I wouldn't be annoying people with my presence.


oh and I'm also mad at the bot that muted me for 1 hour for nothing


The last message I sent had like 9 emojis


Tysm : you really made me feel better. I'll try to make friends and not be too scared, you motivated me even more 3. Ty for answering my long texts, that means a lot to me! ily


I have been feeling really depressed in the past few months. all the scolding on how they know i can do better. i cant seem to find any motivation to do anything. my friends always ask if all of us want to go on a walk to the water channel that's by our houses, but i always say another time because im constantly tired and not motivated. my teachers scold me a lot, and i have racked up about 50 missing assignments over the entirety of the year. I have mostly b's, but about 23 f's if i can remember correctly. my memory is horrible mostly now, and its hard for me to focus. im scared of talking to an adult because im afraid they will tell me im faking or not take it seriously. i really want it all to end, and i want to be happy again, i just dont know what steps to take to accomplish that. my teacher entered the thing to talk to me, and while i was explaining why i had only done 1 page of the thing i started hyperventilating and crying, so i muted myself and was just breaking down. if you have any advice please please tell me