Well if i am or if I am annoying i apologize, I havent cut in like a week and I just wanna go at it, i cant even keep promjses about it now days, and thank you alot guys:


Oh i forgot i took my anxiety and depress meds for the first time in like a month so thats probably why im like this rn


oh a replacement for cutting is usually like an elastic on your wrist, its less harmfull so you can get rid of that habbit on a nice tempo


I dont have any, i have hair ties and I have one on my wrist but i normally twist them but they bust oop


Plus my tics dont even let me get the chance sometimes


My anxiety causes my tics to get bad at times, then other times i tic and punch or harm myself.


Im dizzy


Am eating cheetos uwu


i think its still worth the effort, if its an alteranive for not harming yourself you should always try


Thats true, thank you for helping me.


PHROG go drink some water lo


Imagine drinking water akfhsjjrnsd


no problem dude


me drinking a monster


coudnt be me, i always drink slurp juice


Lmao


omg my headass was thinking so wrong when u said that


Oop


Headass cute lmao


yes


Ifydhfkfjr


YO I THOIGHT MT TURTLE WAS DEAD FOR A MIN


i almost cried


damn luckily he is alive, give him a lot of love


I will owo


Just for chu


Idrk where I wanna go with this but I just. Idk todays been a bad day and at many times suicidal thoughts and its been like a year since I had them last and at that point I beat them but rn Ive been in a low so idk how much longer I can do this


its only just a day jojo, we all have bad days, im sure tomorrow will be better!


NoPoint the thing is they have been in the back of my head for like 23 weeks one


Now


have u tried to get ur mind off it?


have u tried to talk to ur parents about this?


but if ur having these thoughts its best to talk to an adult


or just some1 close to you if you dont feel comfortable speaking to your parents


Sometimes I feel trapped in a glass box. People see me but dont hear me. Its locked but nobody has the key


Boys I lost her


I said everything I could remember


Im done sigh


I feel like nobody loves me. I've felt this before but exceedingly high today. I may be overreacting but people act unusual when I'm around. In real life, the loud ones become quiet, the jokes disappear and the fun feels like it ended. Online, people stop texting, the chat dies, and once again, the fun feels like it ended. I feel like im destined to forever be alone. Never loved, never cared.


now it's making me sad because i feel like i'm not enough


im sorry u have to go through that


u alr did a lot


u did ur best


be proud of ur self


ty:


i just hope she doesn't go that far


hope for the best ig. dont worry my guy, u worked hard. you've done enough


i just don't have the motivation to do stuff:/ like i'm always lazy and i'm always too stressed


niles isak yea i'm trying to think like that


woo yeah i understand, i feel the same way.


woo well, good luck


awh i'll try helping with your problems


I also feel like I'm never able to help anyone. Even if I try to help, most of the time, I end up making it worse


niles isak6969 nah i rlly dont think that, look you tried helping and that's what counts if you end making it worse then just know you did your best in helping


if you can't help so what? that's all you can do you can't do that much


so im sorry for filling this channel with useless information


niles isak6969 there's a reason it's a vent channel so this information is good and not useless and people can help you;


damn it whyd i put;


and thanks for the help


yw:


woo i could try harder tho, maybe i had information that could've helped them but couldn't remember it


niles isak hm well trying hard, if you know that you tried your best like really know that's all you can do it's fine if you can't do anything more. but if you know you can try harder just think about you trying hard for what youre helping in don't push yourself out of your limits


i see, thank you so much for ur help


no probs just keep in mind of your limits


ok, ill try


tysm, really, u helped a lot


if you can't help a friend atleast give em space maybe that


that's what they need


i accidentally clicked enter


ahh, i see.


niles isak:


anyways goodluck with whatevers happening


u 2


i'm usually online so


feel free to talk


ok, and same. feel free to talk 2


I wanna die i feel so worthless there is nothing good about me i just make people feel sorry for me and upset because of me wanting to kill myself i wish i could be normal and smile without pulling a act or faking a smile. my depression is getting worse by day and it gotten to the point where i dont feel like living anymore would i be better of not in this world. I just see no meaning living life if there is nothing to look forward to it would be best if i where dead


joshie, love, talk to me when i get home, ok?


promise?


its always hard to say how i feel


Explosive anger enough to burn a 3000 mile wide crater into the Earth's surface, perhaps?


im alright with that


nvm im not tbh


Everything in my relationship is going down hill


how so


He isn't answering my texts hes awlays offline


hmmm


is he offline on other social media too?


But I might just be over reacting


I don't know I don't have him on my snapchat nor Instagram


hm oke how long has this been going for


For about a few days


maybe he has somthing important to focus on rn


do you guys go to the same school perhaps?


No


It's an online relationship


hm oke


We go to different schools in different states


if you are really worried you can ask people around him if hes oke ig


Yeah that's what I'm trying to do


and?


I'm trying to see if one of his friends knows what had happened to him


But everyone seems to ignore me


hmm


ye that doesnt look good ig ye


Yeah


I'm trying to find out what happened to him


its only ben a few days tho


like did somthing happen between you guys prior to this


But I remember being is a similar problem like this in my previous relationship


oh ik


that probably was an online relationship too wasnt it?


Yeah how my ex unfriended me and he never talked to me again for like a week only to find out his parents forced him to break up with me


Yeah it was an online relationship


when people are dealing with school and stuff they kinda dont wanna mess with sociale media anymore, its like playing an adictive game but then needing to quite for a sec to hard focus on other stuff again


dont focus on the game part btw


Oh okay


just an anology


Okay


maybe he needs to find time again for his other stuff since maybe texting and being in a retaionship has been drawing a lot of time from the day


Yeah...


im just speaking from personall experience tho, im not an expert in psychology


also sorry


It's okay


I wanted to work things out with him but I guess he's too busy for me


idk


a lot of stuff could be going on, you should wait its only been a couple days before drawing conclussions


True


I'm gonna just wait for him again even tho I'm inpatient


thats a wisefull desicion


Yeah


I'm gonna wait for him to come back


But also thank you for helping


i didnt do much


nor did i help


i just gave you advise i didnt do much


any1 can do that


But thank you anyways


i dont deserve your thanks


this is my message


arjunie that is a nice message


it trully lets your personality show


thats why its so uniek and pretty


arjunie, You have leveled up! You are now level 2


Social Bot that's literally the wrong time goodbye


thanks that really helps that you took the time to write that its just really stressfull with everything and i would never do drugs but its hard because some days i just have suicidal thoughts when i know i dont want to and never will i should be seeing my counselor but since covid started i havent been able to but thank you so much:


i will be ur friend


nope


aww ur all so nice


not really since ive started being pan i havent really labeled myself in a religeon tho i used to be a christian


yea people that you relate to are always better then counselors


true


i dont really think so i dont remember the last time i was happy


ive lost hope


being happy


rough days gets u to the best days


u will be happy


just not now


i know i just know for a fact i wont ever think that way


i used to have this addiction to cutting myself


i will stay alive but the thoughts are always gonna be there


i try it just gets so overpowering that those thoughts are a natural thing


its scary and im tired of being scared of my mind


every night my mind feels like its spinny and then i get like this


i hate living and its bs i know i have to stay alive but why cant i feel like staying alive


i know


thats all it really is for me i cant stop thinking about it but i know im not going to


yea i will


stayin alive


Like people can just see right trough me


It hurts


It hurts a lot when it happens


Its happened to me as long as I can remember so I dont rlly know what it feels like not to be but it still hurts indeed


Yeah


Im friends with a lot of people but its not a big friendship, just a chat and shit and then outside of school Im non existent


Gee same thing with me bruhhh


I wish i did it when i had the chance.


awww while ur still alive so u still have oppurtunities to make friends


Wrong another warn or report to staff?


thats old


We already warned and muted


Ill report it


alrighty


Idk how I feel anymore Im just in an all time low rn


And Im tired of pretending tired of giving away my fake smile all the time


It feels like I cant be happy


Cuz everytime I get happy something happens and I get pushed down again


some1 with depression is like trying to make some happy and push to that base line of happiness but they fall back down the next day, the base line of you return happiness is way lower then normal people


i think that if you get a massive influx of positive emotions for a while that baseline will get back up again


you should like take some time of to really make yourself happy


Im scared of being happy


Cuz like I said everytime I start to feel happy again I get pushed down by my friends hurting me or by people/animals dying


Only this year Ive had to face 3 deaths


ik, the hardest part is staying happy since the world is filled with negativity


try surrounding yourself with positive toughts as much as you can


hmmm


And the same year the people I had called my best friends for years just turning their backs on me cuz they stopped liking me


And the year before that I lost my best friend


a lot of emotional pain i see


She was a dog Ik but she was still my bestie and she had always been with me since my birth


its only logical that you are depressed ig, youve done a pretty good job coping with it untill now


youve got a strong personality


Then during all this Ive also had many insecurities with my body which had led to me almost getting a eating disorder many times and my whole family is worried for me


My grandma, my aunts, my parents


And I always feel like im letting people down


Due to my parents standards they set for me


My brother had cancer when he was young which has effected his whole life and mine well my whole familys lives


So since he had it hard in school my parents expects me to be perfect


And every time I lower my grades in like 2 subject but I get my grades higher in 6 other they only see my failure”


And I just see the disappointment in their faces


And mean while Im busy proving to my brother that Im good at playing flute cuz every time I wanna practice he just get irritated and complains


look jojo, i understand that ur past experience makes you think happiness doesn't help but it does, cause it brings the best in people, and being scared of being happing is fully fine, i fear not getting close with people cause ik they will leave at one point, but i still try to enjoy as much as i can, fear is just a challenge that u have to face, yes its gonna be hard but once u have overcome it, it will help so much, it will take a lot of effort and time but just be urself jojo, be happy how u want to be happy


Sometimes I just wished I was born in another family


I dont know who I am anymore


i dont think your parents hate you since they cared for you when you almost had a disorder, from what ive seen i can clearly tell that you have a strong personality and that youve tried your best to keep up with everything that has hhappend to you.people and parent will always make expectations for their child since they dont really know how they affect you but you should know that you arent a dissapointment in anysort


Jojo1217 you are pogchamp:0


Ty


But everytime I feel like I am my self people pushes me away


And I get that I need a lot of attention but thats cuz I never get attention at home


When I was a baby I in someway lost blood with out bleeding cuz I had such a lack of attention from my parents because of my brothers leukemia


its oke, its not a lot btw people are happy to help you wiht your problems here


i mean its perfectly normal to want attention


And everytime I wanted help with my hw at home they prioritized my brother


everyone wants attention


even i get jealous, you wouldnt even believe it xd, and you will get your love again


i feel the exact same way, look jojo, everyone has their own happiness, you will find someone that loves u but first love yourself, cause u are amazing from just being urself


Im starting to be better at loving my self but I still just mainly see flaws


And I dont get how people can think Im pretty


everyone has flaws that makes us human, and good of you for making that effort it must be hard during these conditions.


you are pretty tho


its scientifically proven


How


no one is perfect jojo, even if u see someone that looks perfect everyone has flaws, but u shouldn't see urself with the flaws u have, u should see urself with the awesomeness u have


by meassuring the shape of your nose combined with the distance between your other facial parts you have a higher beauty ratio


I try to focus on the things I like about my self like my eyes and my hair


mr.no one1052


and your personality


What about my personality?


things you should like about yourself


I like that Im adventurous, curious, stubborn, that I like to help people etc.


pogchamp


It was tho a interesting experience I had with my grandmas dog Lisa today tho cuz she doesnt like showers and she needed a shower and were both stubborn so at a certain point I had enough of her walking out of the shower all the time and me taking her in there again with candies so then I was just like nope u know what if u wont go in voulenterantly idk how its spelled imma have to drag u there I also wanna add shes a 10 year old golden


And after me dragging and pushing her into the shower she gave up on not being in the shower


sounds like a fun relationship tbh xd


Yes she does loves being petted and I love petting her


But she did not like me that much at the end of the day since I both clipped her claws which she hates and then gave her a shower


But I gave her a pigs ear afterwards so she would be a little happier


damn xd, atleast she still loves you


I very much hope she does


Also ty I feel much better now


Jojo1217 no worries, anytime


I've gotten more confused with myself recently


I can't understand my own reasoning about my own emotions


In the past month I have lost two great aunts of mine which I was quite close with, and both within one month


Yet when I was told of their deaths the next day afterwards, I didn't feel remorse, saddened, angry or whatever, I just felt as I usually do, like as if I was listening to a normal conversation


And the days that followed, I felt normal


These are the first family deaths I have experienced yet I'm not affected, which scares me


Adding on to this though, which confuses me even more;


Buttons it can just be that you dont understand what have happened when Ive lost people my brain havent fully understood what happened until their funerals


My mum found a dead cat in the church yard across the road from our house, it was struck by a van and seemed fine, until it lay down, as if asking in the sun, and died.


So like any normal human, my mum and I went to go find the owner in our village


ive had the same thing, i think that you wont find the deaths of people you dont interact with of iflunece your daily interaction as emotionally stimulating. but i thinkk thta when you are going to visit their house you will feel somthing since you know that the moment couldve gone by differently if they were still there


We found the owner, thanks to the cat being chipped, the owner was understandably distraught, crying and all, and after he had collected his cat, my mum and I cried


I was more saddened about this cat I had never even known up until we found it dead than two close family members


And like even now 3 years later I went to a place I had not been too since my grandmas dog passed away I still got the understanding of how she wasnt with me anymore


theres this psychologicall manerism that were humans copy others emotions, they do this a lot woth people they look up to. i think that it was really normal for you to cry bc maybe seeing your mom cry gave you like 2x the effect of the dead cat


Have you been to their funerals yet buttons?


Cuz if u havent your brain havent gotten any evidence of them being dead which can make it harder for the brain to understand that its actually real


No, the first great aunt was about 3 weeks ago, we went to the wake of the funeral, we talked with other family members, but it just felt like a party of some sorts


Then the second aunt, she only passed last week, I dunno what's happening with her funeral because of Wales being in full lockdown, no one is allowed to go anywhere


Like I didnt fully understand that the people Ive lost were gone until I attended their funerals and saw their coffins


Maybe I will feel something like visiting their houses and going to their graves, yeah... That thought will keep me occupied enough to keep me sane:


So buttons this is normal and Ik its weird i dont rlly think Ive fully understood that my grandpas brother passed away cuz I havent been to their house since his passing


Yeah, I think I know what I need to do now:


That's what I'm gonna do when I come out of lockdown


And be prepared that it can be harder than you think


I gotta go to bed now, but that's put my mind at ease, cheers Jojo:


Definitely


Goodnight buttons


Goodnight Jojo!


I dont smile


I feel down


Its late


if gravity only went up we couldnt dig down


its definietly late, people say weird stuff at night


tru


maybe you should lay in bed for a bit to think about stuff more clear


I feel like Ive been depressed for a long time


I never had suicidal thoughts so it isnt bad


oh thats good


being depressed and suicidal go togheter most of the time


youre a special case ig


I isolate myself away from a part of my family


I will try to not fake my smile


I maybe you should lay in bed for a bit to think about stuff more clear


im one of the many


Im mostly negative


hmm


But okay


is this really a problem


No


I feel negative and I need to get it out


So here I am


hm i can definietly understand that


I feel like, making a friendship based on humor and no seriousness isnt a friendship at all


true


what would you say of the opposite tho?


is that a friendship?


Humor serious is okay if humor isnt 1st


hmm ye


can i be all serious and still call it a frienship?


Im going to go, I have tests tomorrow now Ill have 5 hours and 30 minutes sleep


hm oke


goodnight, goodluck with your tests


Ive never encountered that situation so I wouldn t know


i havent either i just use previously garnered information


Okay


I never think what a good Day I think whats gonna go wrong today


oke


what thinking what is going to happen today?


about


mob is so cool, hes somthing i strive to be


I was speedrunning Minecraft, and I got everything I need to kill the enderdragon, after I got out of the nether portal, I went out of the ravine and I feel off my water, and died. And my eyes of ender fell in the lava. I dont want to live on this world any more.


just bc u died u dont want to live on this world anymore?


Yeah


damn ahh


This sums it up pretty well


Im not trying to make up something to be sad about but this is so true


whats with these tiktoks of people riding skateboards and just a deep tweet above


never vented in my life but i like being at school


oh some1 with the same name


i am a vent


pls snipe


you oke indra


No


Im not


whats up dude


you arent dude, its undrestandable to need a break from your struggles dude


Im indeed struggling to survive but so is my gf


I need to be here for her and protect her


But im pathetic dude


Im not gonna kill myself tho dw


But i hate myself ngl


Sigh


I rly dont have any strength left to keep on fighting


I need rest


Just for smtime


i at least need some strength


Hmm


I meant to say that i cant keep going thru


I need some rest


I mean i need sometime without any problems in my life


Ill get back on the track once i get some rest


But problems dont fkin stop entering my life


thats a good descin of you, when your mind is clear again you will be able to just solve those problems bro. everyone gets problems in their but we just keep on going dude


Tch yeah


Ez


Nah Im jk dont


Not pog


i accidentally vented


BAHAHHA WHAT


Niki knows too much


We must stop niko before anyone is notified


Omg what


If ur planning on killing me just ask yk I'd say yes


i shitted during class


WAIT IM SORRY


ill actually read what u said kfdmsoamoa


have fun dude i remember the highs they were pretty nice


Pop


i melted some of my skin of


I am not doing any school work, I havent done any in like 3 months


why not


nah


it hurts


I kinda feel like nobody even likes me as a person anymore


hmm from what ive seen of you on this server you are a pretty cool dude tho


hm i also think that you'll feel better if you surround yourself with people who appriciate your presence


Yeah I guess. Its just really hard to find those people


true, the pay of is worth it tho. also since you are on social media it will be a lot easier


Yeah


Currently blasting heavy metal to forget about my problems


Yay


nice


what song


Psychosocial


Cool


slipknot is also really cool


Okii ima go cry and take a walk


Talk to ya later


Same


Have a good day


you too dude


hi i have an ed


B. Lung SAME IM FAILING IN SCHOOL


FrostHT you seem cool i like you as a human


omg nopointtt


yes


where have u beenzzz


Emily idk tbh


alr thatsa cool too


and another thing is that i'm bottling up my emotions a lot more now. i don't feel ad comfortable seeking help and reassurance as i used to because i've been judged for it or seen as overly clingy. which, yeah, i am.


look, friendships don't ruin over 1 insult, we all fuck up, it happens, just talk to them, if u and they feel uncomfortable or insulted then u should talk about it, its better to communicate then just screaming and arguing with each other


also its ok to not feel comfortable to reach out, it takes time, u just have to start slow


a long term race is never won by the fastest, its won but the one who waits and goes at their own pace


start maybe opening up with friends, then maybe parents and just build confidence and to ge the comfort


yeah, true. though i'm a lot more paranoid about that being the case now because i fell out with an online friend and we went seperate ways for a while.


we're friends again but now i'm just really cautious about what i say because i don't want that to happen again.


it really depends on the friendship ig


cause some friends we insult each other


some we don't


it is just really how ur friendship is


i'll probably keep limited to my friends for a while because whenever i seek help from my mother she always seems to turn it into something way bigger than it is.


u can talk to them and how u feel about it, its not bad just saying how u feel


yeah


ya i understand the mother thing


just keep it so ur comfortable and try growing from that


but at ur own pace


i will


there is no need to rush anything in life


take ur time and do everything how fast u want it


tysm


woo bet


Not CORPSE make it feel better


woo and this is where I make like my dad and dip.


Not CORPSE


schizo hey are you okay


I know.


They hurt me so bad


contact the police and frame them for a naughty crime


that will get them back


I could never do thta


well thats on you.


They need to be slowly tortured with regret


Hey! Today marks my 250th day of being sober from self harm


omg nice good dusty! very proud of you


DUSTY


I THOUGT ABOUT YOU THE OTHER DAY


fuck spellinb


BRUH


Great job Dusty! Proud of you


Oop, i don't even know, but u gotta eat somthing


eat rice


nvm weird question


you werent actually, if you were actually mean im sure people would also act mean towards you you know


everyone is capable of a lot of mean things and people will have their moments. hmm i dont know how the break up went but i dont think that you should hate yourself, you really arent a bad person


ah that sucks, being the bad guy in the situation must feel really bad i imagine, but in my opinion you just messed up, that doesnt really make you a bad person, you just didnt know what effect you had on a person. that happens to a lot of people but in different intensities. this break up was really recent so ig its understandable for you to feel like this


hmm from what ive seen from you on discord you never really have ill intention so if you mean changed from being mean, id say that you changed


you arent, people are oblivious somtimes. being aware of everyones emotions at all times is a hard thing to do you know


maybe ig, not always tho. i am oblivious too almost all of the time, doesnt make me a bad person ig


just somthing i need to work on


a lot of people think like that about their first relationship. but dont you think that a break up was a bit much for being just rude, maybe you can apologize and just get back togheter?


no


i didnt realize how bad i was


i was told to be nice multiple times but i thought it was a joke


i just kept going on and didnt realize a thing


im now blocked and their friends are very mad at me and i deserve it all back


they were with their friends today. and then they came here and now here i am


im really hurting and i genuinely deserve the worst


also


no one irl knew about us


now im just gonna act so funky and im just gonna be so weird and everything


i cant take myself


i mean we all deserve a lot but saying that doesnt change anything, if u fell down, u learn how to get back up, and u keep doing it


well u cant change the past but u can improve urself for the future


they havent left btw


ya ik that feeling it sucks


it will probably feel that for a while, its best just to improve and start somewhere


i was just madly in love and didnt realize what i did. i wanna have that feeling of having a positive future


its just so sudden


it just happened like snap


i literally was straight my entire life and they changed me. i never met someone like them that would care that much


again ik what u mean, there is someone like that in my life that i thought would have been the best thing ever to be with them, but shit happened and i just have to improve myself and not let me go down


ae u over them?


it isnt that easy


ya ik everything takes time


and no im not over them


it just makes me get better cause i can't get over them


clingy loser take solace in the fact that you recognize how you acted. It's the first step to becoming a better person.


It's something I can relate to, not with the breakup, but realizing what you did wrong for so long


if you ever need to talk about it or just want some advice on it, my dms are always open


it's something I have a lot experience dealing with, both from me and my best friend


I dont know what to do anymore. I cant read or even spell correctly. Out of nowhere my mind just reset. I cant really read, or even spell. I have to use Siri. Idk, but it seems like my mind kinda just reset, and I forgot about all of those basic skill.


nateee look ik its hard but if u were able to do it before you can do it again, ya u might fall down but if u were able to touch the top, ik u will be able to reach it


Mister Turtle maybe try reading books


NoPoint whats the point of even trying to fix everything when everything just leads to more depression. no matter what i do, in the end ill always feel sad and i cant fix anything at all


nateee the depression isnt getting worse cause u try too much, its getting worse cause ur giving up, ya ik its hard, but ik u can pull through, there will always be harder time but u can do it just keep trying


NoPoint Unfortunately it isn't that simple. Depression gets worse before it gets better. That doesn't mean you should give up, but it's more complicated than not trying enough.


o oki sorry


everyone feels lonely, its a pretty common thing, but u gotta remember ur never alone, there is always someone that will be there for you, maybe u won't notice but someone is there with you, i don't think ur a disappointment, yes there will be times where ur gonna feel disappointed but u gotta remember thats just a moment, a moment does not define you, you define urself, if u try ur best everyday, thats not disappointment, thats u actually trying, u just gotta give self love, don't just be ureslf up, give confidence to urself build it up, ya it will take awhile but once u get to it, u will feel like ur on top of the world


Ashlyn ya man im just sick and tired of this horrible feeling and i just want everything to feel fine. im tired of feeling lonely and im tired of feeling like a disappointment


nateee I know 100 what you mean. It's an absolutely awful feeling. The single best thing you can do is to keep going. If you haven't, please talk to your doctor about it. For me, medication was the turning point. The first 4 either did nothing or made things worse, and I thought I was the reason it didn't work, I wasn't trying enough, I wasn't doing the right thing. It isn't your fault though. Depression is just something that we have to deal with in whatever way we can, it isn't something you can fix alone, take advantage of the people that help us deal with depression for a living, they are there for you.


when you first talked to your doctor or therapist about everything, were you scared? Ashlyn


I actually wasn't even going for depression


I was going to start my transition, and now I have severe depression and sever social anxiety


like i just feel super scared and anxious to get any help


There is absolutely nothing wrong with that


It's not something you really get any experience with before doing it, not really something that you can compare it to


It's worth it, at least is has been for me


everytime u try something new u will be scared in some way


idk why but i just dont feel comfortable talking to someone professional about everything


but i feel fine with you guys


even tho you guys are basically complete strangers


That's part of the safety of the internet


you don't know any of us, you can always block us or leave the server if you don't like how we react or what we say about it


i get what u mean, i can't open up to anyone ik irl but here i can open up easily


it's completely different saying your problems to someones face, it takes getting used to but I gurantee that pretty much every therapist or psychiatrist has had a patients with very similar problems or worse problems so they don't typically judge you. They are there to help you


There is nothing wrong with being scared, but as my therapist would say, bravery isn't not being scared, it's being scared and doing it anyway


ya there is no harm trying, ya it will take awhile and might be scary at first but once u get comfortable with a person ur speaking to you, it will be easily to open up


no connection starts right away, there will always be build up and understanding, it just takes time to get used to being with another person


Exactly, you also have no obligation to go right in and talk about the hardest things you're dealing with. Just start of with things that you are comfortable with but still want to talk about just to get a feel for how it goes. One of the things that helped me open up to my therapist was the fact that she can't legally say anything I tell her to anyone unless you plan on hurting yourself or someone else. You don't have to feel shame because it's one person, and it's a person who is experienced in helping people deal with their darkest thoughts and problems. And hey, if it doesn't work out, there are thousands of other therapists that you can go to.


ya true


thanks


Of course, like I said, if you ever need someone to talk to, my dms are always open. I didn't take my mental health seriously before, so if I can help someone else work on theirs then I feel like my life was worth it.


I don't feel so good


I feel lonely and sick


I feel a little bit cold and hot


Yeah but I'm not sure if I'm actually sick or not


no harm in checking right


Yeah lemme go check if I have a thermometer


hm oki


I'm checking my temperature


oh thats hot


i think


that's normal


Yeah it's normal


But my head hurts a little


i toughtthe normal body temp was 37 degrees


My forehead hurts


My head hurts


maybe put a really cold towel on your forehead


Maybe


Or is it becouse I stayed up all night


it helps with headaches


oh


ye thats probably it then


Yeah


why wont you sleep rn


I can't


It's day


school?


No


We don't have school today


if not then sleep even for a little


like 1 or 2


I just told you I can't sleep


I have insomia


I have sleeping pills but it only works at night


oh i see


Imma go take am advil


oki


There I took it


nice


Yeah


I'm having anxiety now


why


you oke buddy?


I have no idea why


I'm listening to music to calm me down


good, nice thinking


No I'm not okay I'm having anxiety


I just saw a red light next to me


like in your periviral vision?


did you check it out?


Yeah I looked over and there was nothing that caused a red flashing light


i have the answers


you should stay in a relatifly calm or quiet area and its important to breath


keeping your mind working with grounded questions is also important


idk i you have astma or anything liker that but if yuo do its best to stay around some1


Okay


Thank you


np


pogchamp, you are going to make it, we all know you can do it:0


oh. im sorry to hear that.


losing someone close hurts. when it hits you, it hurts.


yeah i know what youre going through


yes you can


they turned because it's THEIR problems. not yours. valuing your life based on what ppl do isnt gonna get you anywhere


thats why we're here for you, even if it might seem as not. we are. i find that most ppl here on discord who shared common issues brings ppl together and theyre nicer.


i understand. what's going on at home is causing u to become afraid of losing those close to you. you're an amazing caring person. you wont. and if you do, ur friend was worth your time


look jenny, if they are true friends i don't think u will let them down, we all know that life isn't easy, and im sure they feel the same of not losing u, so just keep them close


look jenny, u don't need to stress urself, if u worry too much about losing them one day ur gonna forget the fun times


its alright, just relax and have fun, think positive


me crying bc i cant get a hug n i also cant sleep bc my breathing is off and it is extremely windy outside? more likely than you'd think


do you maybe know the reason for that?


ate too much, pooped too much


oh


did you know that if you poop to aggressivly you there is a chance of getting hemroids


WHAT


scared rn


you help other people and are polite most of the time, not to mention that you are very kind and helpfull. people complain all the time about stuff and some express it and some dont i think its a strong personality trait of you for being able to manage having trouble with stuff and wanting to solve them on your own, but somtimes problems seem so simple but we cant come up with the answers and thats why you need to ask for peoples help you know. also a lot o kind people seem to think that they are mean people, its like people who do a craft and know how everything works and then they say they are bad at doing it just because you maybe see some1 who is better or you mess up one time. oh depression is kinda like when people have a very low base point of happiness and they return to that everytime they wake up you know for a very long timemonths.


hmm i think that in comparison to the average person you definietely are a good person even compared to the best people i know you are a good person, you are like a lvl 100 support


sometimes its simple but not easy. im very grateful that u think of me like that, thank you very much


im pretty sure that the majority of people here think of you like that, but thats no secret. no problem


it's not easy at all


A girl just asked me to be her girlfriend and I'm really hesitant because I have no self confidence


I'm not sure if I should do it


i mean do u like the girl?


Yea shes great but I'm scared


well then go for it


they like u for u


nothing els


e


np


bet u should build ur confidence, she likes u for you


i wish i got asked out


but yea go for it


maybe when your with her your confidence will increase


its worth a try


im single and always will be


samee honestly


nah im sure u will find someone that will love and care for you


you will too thoo


somewhere out there


i don't think so but idk the future so maybe


Yea, your back is gonna do a really cool trick


so make sure you watch it


Ashlyn if u wanna vent about it, u can in someone's dms, my dms are open too, its just better keep politics out of chat thats all, but ya:D


Yea, I get it. I don't really like talking about politics anymore to begin with. When I was more into it, it just made my depression significantly worse. My therapist said I wasn't allowed to look at politics anymore


Ashlyn same, difference is that i debate now about minor stuff then elections more often


im one of the many Debating also made me super depressed. And most of my political opinions are not minor, so I don't know what I would even debate over


but still u can always talk to me if u like,:D


I appreciate it:


its not really stress headaches, i just spend too much time on like ig devices my head hurts like once a week, i take advil to help me anytime that happens, i don't tend to get stressed i just overthink possibilists and think of stupid things ig, i don't really even jokely do, i just tend to not talk about them at all, i don't really want an answer ig, well i just want something to overcome it over night but thats not possible, i really like talking to others, its nice, its just im more quiet so i feel like i don't really bring anything to the table, or im just plain out annoying so ya but thx for the advice:D


it doesn't matter how much it did, the fact u gave it just means ur trying to help


i mean it doesn't have to meaningful, best thing to do for people is to just be there for them


Have you ever encountered a person you want to hit with a stone?


i don't really want to hurt people even if they hurt me


Must only be me


Im in 5 discords and in one theres a guy I absolutely cant stand


Today was the first time in like a year I thought about self harm... I probably should get new meds


Yea


I haven't went in a while


Cuz of coronavirus


People online treat Me better than the people I know in real life.


I am constantly pushed away and treated like I am lower than everybody else.


I just want people to treat me normally and help me.


I feel like I am screaming for help and no one can hear me.


I want to make other people happy because I cant be happy myself.


The people online are the only true family I have, they care about me, they treat me like I am a actual human being, they cheer me up when I am sad, and they love me.


I cant be happy so I try to make others happy so they dont know sadness and Loneliness.


I am constantly alone because I am afraid of rejection.


I want to see others smile because I cant.


I am constantly haunted by my pass attempts of suicide and the harm I caused others.


Discord friends are the only friends that make me feel a little bit of happiness.


Sometimes I burn myself so I can feel emotion and I still feel nothing but sadness.


I make up lies about myself online so I feel better about myself.


I feel like ending it all but I remember that people online care about me and will miss me.


I wish I can apologize to everybody that I lied to.


i am so sorry


Giza i mean was there a reason why?


NoPoint idek I just thought about doing it


Orest i mean is there something bothering u?


crunky Honestly i feel you're pain, however you only need you, if you are happy with yourself you need no one else. I think you are very kind and highly amazing from what i see so far. I think others think its Amazing to see others down. Im sure you tried your best to be a better person but no its not you. You do not need to burn urself beacuse everyone here is all ur friends and will remain here for you threw the sadest times, i think that discord is a place for everyone to become one as a family, you do not need to say sorry for something you have no intention on doing, its just for ur better health, i want to see you grow and smile and improve as you are, not as others impact on you.


Gabrielle i mean is there something bothering u?


NoPoint I've been depressed for years and last year I even went to a mental hospital, but idk if its bc of the weather changing or since it's around the time I went to the hospital last year. Idk tbh it's just how my brain works whenever I feel down or sad


Theran so ik this may not work but if u feel like ur having thoughts about self harm, maybe try making a story, fiction story ofc, just make ur own story, ur the main character and just have an awesome story, pretty much daydream


Dominy so ik this may not work but if u feel like ur having thoughts about self harm, maybe try making a story, fiction story ofc, just make ur own story, ur the main character and just have an awesome story, pretty much daydream


NoPoint I've done that before, I haven't hurt myself i took a nap instead. It helped a little. I'll try writing again tho


ya, again even if it helps a little that makes a difference


im not really like a professional so i don't know what things help but its different for everyone so sometimes u just gotta try out new things


but i do hope you are safe, please take care of urself and if u ever wanna talk again u can dm me anytime


NoPoint thank you a lot, you did help


Frissell np 3


The end


No


I do need help tho


Idk with what


Im just lost lowkey


expomarker what happened?


Nothing new


My mind wanders and i end up regretting everything


i mean its ok to think just no doing anything bad


I think im gonna seek professional help when i get brave enough to ask my father


we are always thinking


its normal to think


I think too much though


Always paranoid


idk if this works but have u ever just tried to daydream


like if u do get thoughts


try day dreaming


something awesome


and cool for u


idk if it will work


but it works for me


Idk but thanks


there are different ways for different people


u just have to find urs


I mean it might work but if i had time to daydream it would only be me procrastinating lmao


Im always so busy i need a break lowkey


Im gonna try and find a healthy way to cope though


expomarker it has helped me a lot. having the ability to trust someone completely to the point of legality has helped me immensely'


I really dont wanna be an alcoholic by 16 lmao but its an easy path to take


expomarker as someone who has gotten on the edge of severe addiction, it's not worth it


Ashlyn yeah i wish i trusted him more though. My dad doesnt even think that the meds docs give you work bec hes tried them. He doesnt wanna believe its different for every individual


but its hard, having a negative outlook on the world can easily lead u to a mindset of abusing alcohol and drugs and shit bc it looks like a simple way of escaping problems


clingy loser the best choices are always the hardest ones to make broski


your dad doesnt seem to be doing much


i know


your parents are not always right, please please please think for yourself. You are better than them


i was suicidal in middle school up to sophomore year. i know man


Waiting is so difficult when you dont know what comes next


what if u try talking to him more and more ab ur problems with EASE and then maybe he can flip his mind


it is


And chances are it wont get much better


Ashlyn hes the only one i can talk to that has the slightest chance of actually getting me help rn


expomarker that's the unfortunate part of having parents. If you can find a therapist, then you are set. Since I found a therapist, I've become so much more comfortable being myself. They don't decide who I am


could be good could be bad


isnt nice to have experience and know how to handle certain situations?


it's one of the few things I suggest people get


therapy has helped me more than words can express


clingy loser lmao the other day i was trying to talk to him abt pro life vs pro choice and i accidentally outed myself as suicidal idk how tf that happened though lmao he was shook


Ashlyn i gotta wait till he realizes i actually do need help though


clingy loser ive experienced a lot but some things are too much


my parents think im a content tenn


teen


im really not and they know NOTHING ab me


Man


I just wanna move out


clingy loser lmao same


expomarker I've had the same sentiment for the past 4 years. The best revenge is taking advantage of that. Save up money and cut them out when you can. if you want to


when im 18 i wanna move out so bad but im also not ready for responsibilities


Yeah


I wish i was better at talking to adults tbh it never feels like they listen


assuming you are also non binary based on the previous roles you've had, you parents will most likely not understand it. There is absolutely nothing wrong with being yourself despite that


we have technology and were the most suicidal generation


Lmaooo


Well i mean im not even out to my dad yet


expomarker I am. My dad told me straight to my face that god made everyone the right gender and that anything else is a choice. However your feelings are still valid


Ik my dads like an overly ignorant person and im somewhat ok with that but i cant be that mad at him because he broke the abusive cycle between him and his father and grandfather


everyone deserves to be able to be themselves and express their true feelings


Ashlyn god was just a lil tipsy when he made us


expomarker FACTS. as someone who is currently very drunk, if I was a cis white male still i would've done the same thing. I am severely ashamed to say that but it's true


Bruh


even if i said a random female was looking pretty or had a nice outfit my parents would get sus so fast it aint funny


your generation is truly the last bastion of hope for me


Idk man


Have a nice night


Thanks for talking to me tho but i need to go do shit


expomarker if you ever need to talk to someone who has had similar experience, my dms are 100 open.


preferably when I'm not hammered


Lmao alright


Thanks man


Peace


of course:


There is absolutely nothing wrong with feeling like that. It's really hard being vulnerable, especially if people have taken advantage of that before. Your mental health and emotions are really important. I would suggest, when you can move away from your parents, try to get professional help again. Everyone is different, so stuff that works for others might not work for you, but you are important and it's worth trying again. There is also absolutely nothing wrong with not fitting in. I didn't fit in, a lot of my friends didn't as well. There are people who you do fit in with though, it's just not always easy to find those people. If you ever need to talk or just want to vent, my dms are always open. x,Aiden 3


Ashlyn Thank you.


time to stress and panic


panic and stress


Zain made me


I'm sorru


no i did not


He told me to do it or I will go bye bye


dude


Or he will touch my no no square


im not saying anything


stio


stop


making me look bad


i dont


Im married to one


omg


hate my life


I wonder why


LMFAOANDOWJCAKXJ


Is it a bad thing that this anime brings me more happiness than any of my family?


playing amoung us with my friends and then they mute me for ages i start crying because i have excile issues due to being autistic and the isolation i feel because of it when they finally do unmute me they get snipy that i'm getting'stressy' i'm crying and hyperventaling please help


there gonna yell at me again for the typing sound i know they are i'm waiting for it


and i'm on vc with them and i keep thinking of how my teacher asked if my friends put me first


they don't


If they do that to you are they really your friends?


they could hear my crying and only one of them tried to comfort me but they said it in a joking tone


so i couldn't believe her


FrostHT i have no one else but them


i'll be on my own


i worked so hard to make friends


Maybe try getting in a private dm or vc with her? I know what its like to have nobody. But if your friends dont support you when youre down then they arent good friends are they?


i know


i've known for a while


In my opinion no friends are better than bad ones.


i just keep hoping they'll get better or it's all in my head


and they're actully really nice once the stress of the next test is over


and they'll care about me when i'm haveing a meltdown


If that one girl did try and comfort you Id try to get in a private call with her. Tell her what youre going through


i'm scared my best friend will be mad


Even if she did sound sarcastic she may just not know what to say or how to say it. Its easier to talk 1 on 1 then with a group of people


And why would your best friend be mad?


because she gets very deffensive


if i talk to L the girl that tried to comfort me about the stress and how isolated being muted by my best friend and then being ingnored when i'm crying


she'll get mad


the best friend will


Then let her be mad. If she gets upset about you telling a person about your problems then she has no reason to be upset


She will get over it


i don't wanna make her mad because she'll be mad for days and may yell at me and sharp noise hurt my ears


Would she yell at you in real life?


yeah


Hmm


she's really nice when it's just me and her


but in a group she's not as nice


Thats what I call a fake friend


Im not saying she doesnt like you Im just saying that if she wont treat you well when shes with other people thats not okay


i'm scared that if i tell her how she's makeing me feel she'll get defensive and angry


i'm tired of passive aggression sorry if i offended you or i didn't mean to upset you


I cant say I know exactly youre situation but I know how you feel


i don'y know what to do


my social group is comprised of people with very serious mental health issues


i just have aspergers


Its your decision to make but I would talk to the person you feel most comforted by.


i don't have that honestly


the best friend is normally really good when i have a meltdown


i'll try talking to her despite the parinoia


That would probably be best. Im here for you if you need to talk, dm me Ill add you as a friend


thanks


i joined back to the vc but i don't do it


Just tell them if you feel ready


there was two dead squirrels on the road and it looked like they were cuddling and thats love right there idk


yukes


i


sgrhehdh


pizzaroli. Romeo and Juliet


can't what?


Its romeo and juliet


who


o


Sorry that was a waste of ur time lmao


nah ur all good:D


ur never a waste of time


Omg


Please stop


Stop what


I dont know


I just hate everything


my aunt just told me to start visiting my grandfather more because she noticed he's getting worse and slowing down a whole bunch the way my grandmother did before she died.


so basically i was informed to visit my grandfather bc my aunt thinks he doesnt have much time left:/


im sorry but i get the visiting him, my great grandfather is still alive and my mum always says just to like sit with him for a bit, they like company and just someone there, i rather not think they are ending soon, i rather think they can relax and we can just have time with them, its gonna be hard but its best to just hang out with him


ya i understand, its better not to overthink it ig, u can't really change what she said, but also if u need someone to talk to im always free and my dms are open


Thank you sm


My throat hurts a little bit


I drank the entire bottle of sprite


And I'm sad that I finished my favorite soda drink


Drink water


Why do i feel lonely when I have people to talk too?


I feel like no one cares


And that i'm constantly bothering people, and no one agrees with me. I want nothing and something at the same time. People say i'm being over dramatic, i don't know if i am.


My anxiety is killing me, i'm never happy, i'm always depressd, and apparently it bothers my parents. The fact that i'm depressed bothers them Like seriously? They want me to smile, even though i can't, i try but i can't.


No one wants me around, i just mess everything up. I want help, but i feel like no one can.


ruthie4.01298 i mean is it because u have to talk to them first or do they check up on u


also its ok to not want anything, u can make a goal and strive it


and i think u can get better its just that u think someone else has to help you, its that they can give guidance thats, ur the person that will make decisions that will benefit u


ik u can do it, just tkaes a lot of time and effoet thats all


then why are u friends with her


I dont know actually


Shes funny


But also


I care more about the friendship than she does


Like Im basically in love w her and she just doesnt care


I wanna be her numero uno


Her main bitch


then why waste ur time if she doesnt give time back to you


Her ride or die


Yeah I know


Youre so wise


Like an owl


I should just drop her


No way am I doing that


Shes hostile


i mean best relationship is good communication


Like shell insult me out of nowhere when I just wanted to talk to her ab something


Yeah ur right


she seems aggressive


Yeah I dont want to get on her bad side ever but its inevitable


Okay you dont have to listen but Ill say what happened today just bc I need to let go of it


So I have this other friend


ya i will listen


Well call her daisy


im here as long as u want me here


oki


And the girl Im ranting ab well call her mari


Ofc I want u here bb it means so much


o


does mari have other friends?


And get this then she said u just stay friends w anybody who makes u laugh in the moment but i dont get it because daisy isnt even funny so wheres the reason”


Thats a direct quote


Except for the name


It stung a little bit T.B.H


But I didnt respond to that bc again I really didnt want to fight with her bc she gets so mean


i mean i think she is either jealous cause she likes u or cause she has no other friends


NoPoint Ya she has tons of other friends but shes my only friend basically its quite pathetic ikik


She didnt need to insult me like that omf why so harsh


ok i think she might like u then cause why would she get this mad for u being friends with daisy


I didnt even do anything to her why did she say that all I did was ask why she doesnt like her


Idk man


I dont think she does


I think she just wants me to bow down to her or something


maybe cause she has never has someone ig simp for her?


No omg def not that everyone loves her


I think she wants me to be jealous of her


And like I am


Its not doing me good


More hurt than happi


maybe u shouldnt be friends with her


Yeah


Maybe


And also she does this thing sometimes where like well be joking around and everything is cool n all that but then shell switch into like this monster and shell get so hostile


As if everything I say to her is a personal attack


ya idk its best to like maybe take a break from her


anf see how it feels


And I feel like well never be able to have a good discussion even if I told her how I felt because when shes in arguing mode she never listens to anyone elses pov


Yuuup


Ill do that


Thank you so much for listening to me


I love u


Mwah


i love you too


I feel better now bc Ive been keeping in all my feelings abt her and it feels like a weights been lifted from my chest


u can talk to me anything u like


my dms are always open


U too


Hello


Wait nvm


Eeuurrrghhhfff


move to canada


I would but it's not exactly that easy to do.


ya ik


And the countries that are easier to move too are not always safe for lgbtq people


also why change ur pfp


depression


I'll probably change it back in a bit


im sorry:, u wanna talk about it?


nah, I'll be fine. I don't really have a lot to be depressed about, my body just gives me bad chemicals


well u can always talk to me if you ever want to ok3


I appreciate it:


Five years in the shitter


Did you enjoy the time you were friends with them?


Maybe three years of it


Then cherish that


Growing apart is a part of growing up


Most friendships unfortunately do not last, and people can change pretty drastically in a short time


but still realize that he was a good friend at the beginning


trust me


I get that


He was my brother


My han brolo


As we called it


Take your time to feel it out, and once you feel ok, you can find a new best friend


but again, cherish the time you had with him


Eh


I think crippling depression and alcoholism is the next step ngl


it's not worth it


It used to be like that


Nothing but sadness, drugs and alcohol


I grew out of that


I'm still working on it


I've gotten close to just moving across the country and trying again


but I don't think it will fix the problems I already have


Probably not


My Mami left flu medication in my room


so whenever I'm feeling sick i can take 2 shots of it


I already took 2 shots and drank my Viatemen water


I'm feeling a little bit better


Less of a vent but im so happy. Ive talked to my mother alot tonight. I feel so much closer. Everythings getting better and im just so happy. Everythings just getting happier


tay im so happy for you bebe


Thank you lily


Bro yes im so proud of you


:D


u don't deserve all the pain


no one does


It sounds like you're on the right track to becoming a better person


Do yall ever feel depressed out of nowhere? I dont know why. This week has been terrible for me to be honest. I lost a animal, Minecraft isnt working and the air pollution is getting worst. Idk. But. Im not really sure to be honest. And I question myself what the meeting of life is, and to be honest no one knows. Its one of the most unanswered questions out there. But some may say, to live through a life or family or friends, and etc... I have been wanting to leave this Earth back in January. But I keep a healthy mind. I dont know what Im writing. Im pretty sure my feelings, who knows...


Mister Turtle Nothing wrong with being depressed sometimes, if it's a long term thing then you should talk to your doctor about it. In terms of the meaning of life. Why do you think it needs a meaning?


Ashlyn Yeah. Soon Ill talk to a therapist or someone. Why I think theres a meaning of life because, no one knows why us humans are here. There has to be a meaning...


You say that


but us being here doesn't mean there is a meaning


the meaning of life has many definitions


u make ur own meaning


So again, why do you think there NEEDS to be a meaning


u create ur own


I've heard that saying, it honestly doesn't cut it for me


I could be the odd man out tho


Ashlyn Well. Why do we even live


But I can't think of any meaning that matters


Why are there billions of planets devoid of anything


Like. We gotta pay money for stuff and why we have to live throughout the same life each day


because they just are


Ashlyn nah u make ur own meaning ash and ik u will find urs soon


nah trust me, anything that humans can possibly think of isn't going to matter


sometimes u might find ur meaning at the end sometimes u might find it sooner


the heat death of the universe is the biggest counterpoint


but the fact that u strive to make urself better is how u find it 3


I think that you can giving meaning to your own life and your own time on the planet


Humans are just dumb


but in terms of overarching humanity and life


there is absolutely no meaning


we just are


Yeah. But theres a answer for everything


Well yeha


I just dont know the point of living


The thing that I think about tho


If there is no meaning, then I can be myself and do what I want to do with my life


The risks I take are meaningless specks of nothing in the vastness of the universe


It makes it easier to be who I want to be


Yeah. Your right about that


But also


The only thing you can do is live the best life you can


My life is quite messed up.


in the end, we all are gonna die, the earth is gonna be destroyed and the universe will end


Yeah


so why not enjoy it while it lasts


that's how I see it at least


What I meant with my life is just, anxiety got the best of me.


Ah.


But life is just born if


partially because it keeps me going


and partially because my therapist said I can't think about the meaning of life anymore


Hmm. Yeah I need one, but thats good. Im not sure why tho


because it pushes me to be more suicidal


Also. Im sorry for not responding too much


Don't worry about it, I'm just here to have a good time


If I think about the fact that nothing matters


it makes it easier to just give up


Yeah. And thats kinda what Im struggling with


but if I can help people that need it and live a life I enjoy, then it feels worth it


Im think of suicidal thoughts


nothing wrong with that


Yeah


As long as you work on understanding why you have them and trying to work on changing it


I try to help people. But sometimes It doesnt always work out... Im a completely different person just by myself


Yeah true. Im still just seeking in that understanding


including my best friend, and for a short time girlfriend


Wow. Sorry


But I feel guilt


don't worry about it


For something that happened


I try to be open about my life


because I think it can help when others can relate to it


and know they aren't alone in their experiences


Yeah. Im relating to you.


it helps people see a clearer path


when you can relate to someone that's working on the same pain


Yeah. It really does


and it also helps when I can shutdown what people say about themselves


Oh wow


Yeah. I think I may of done that, but in a different way and a depressing situation


it's usually not as bad as you think it is


Well...


and owning up to what you did can go a long way


Well. I didnt do anything wrong, just feel a type of guilt for it


do you wanna talk about it?


if you'd prefer, we could also talk about it in dms


Uhh sure.


Dms would be preferred


I cant believe people are really voting for Biden


Yikes


r slur and everything


Also, no politics


Not here


There is a place and a time for it


its just best not to bring up politics here


here isn't either


u can in dms if u like


screw him


he doesnt deserve u


wait


i mean


idk if i worded that right


also


i think this might help


im sorry


ur prettier :


uh yk how your sad but you dont want to show it so you just hide it bc your friends are sad and you want them to be happy? your like the therapy to them, but then again you sometimes need help but just decide not to get it yeah i feel like that sometimes, you feel like nobody would give a shit about it or just not help you at all


pizzaroli. I used to be like that as well. I still kind of am. But you can help others more if you also help yourself. If you are happier overall, you can better spread that to the people around you. It's something I'm still learning and I suggest everyone in the same position to try and learn as well.


Ashlyn aw thanks that really helps I'll try to do that as well but it is going to be difficult since i dont rlly talk abt my feelings bc i feel weird abt it thanks again


pizzaroli. I can relate to that as well. When I started working on my depression, I didn't even know what most of the feelings I had were. The hardest part is opening up and making yourself vulnerable, it's really scary since you don't really know what people are gonna say or how people react. For me personally, therapy has helped a lot. My therapist helped me recognize what I was feeling and understanding that those feelings are completely valid and ok to have.


Ashlyn i used to have a therapist but my ma stop taking me so its kinda hard now but i have skool counselors but i have a rlly bad experience with them so usually i wouls have rarely anyone to talk to. yeah thats true opening up abt your feelings was never my thing and its very scary but i hope that we can both get to a point where we can open up more yk? thanks tho i needed to hear someones opinion and yea thanks againnn!


I'm still wondering if he ever got justice


I don't care if he cheated on me


I still want to know if he got justice


Guysss


I want to party


then party


I cant


Cause there no party


make one then


pizzaroli. of course, I'm not one to judge or expose what you say to me. So if you ever want to talk to someone about something you're dealing with or your emotions, my dms are always open


Ashlyn hehehe thankss I'll keep that in mindd my dms are always openn too if you ever want to talk or something:


look ella u deserve the world, u are very caring and so fun to talk to, whoever the person that gets to call u her girlfriend will be really lucky, everyone deserves to find their partner its just how life is, ik how u feel tho, i always see my bad traits and think no one should like me and stuff, i still am trying to get better from it but ya its hard but there will be that person that will stay there with u and want to spend the rest of their life with u, ur not really putting stuff on people its more that they are helping u hold it up, i don't think u should hide how u feel, it gets worse if u just don't say anything, all im saying is that u deserve so much and ik one day someone lucky will call u their girlfriend3


Thank you simar3 i just dont think Im a good fit for anyone, even if they think they like me


look im gonna be honest thats a pretty normal thing these days


i feel the exact same as u do


but they like u for a reason, they like ur pros and ik u have a lot cause ur absolutely amazing3 but they will also know that they will be there for you even at ur darkest time


I just think a lot of my pros are fake and at least currently my cons outweigh them


I'm scared of messing up and I dont want to hold anyone back or worsen their mental health because of my own problems


you actaully are amazing ella and im not saying that to make u feel better, its my own opinion and its honest and u are really wonderful3


look messing up is a part of life


even in relationships its something ur gotta build up


a relationship doesn't happen out of nowhere


communication is first


and then bonding and stuff


yk cringe stuff


but a partner is always gonna be there for you, its more like u always have someone in ur corner when u need them and u have their corner


But even you dont know me properly


I just dont think that even if I want a relationship that Id be very healthy for anyone? And I dont think its something I can very easily work on


well im not saying u need to be in a relationship rn but when u find someone that loves you and u love them, they will help and be there for you


no one is very healthy


there is always something on someone minds


its just how we are


sometimes a partner that yk will always be there for you can help


but then again


u don't need to be in a relationship


I just feel really cuddle deprived sometimes and I wish I could have a girlfriend? But Im not even crushing on anyone right now


Idk I just feel messed up


I know but I dont think Id be good for anyone else, even if I love them


Just with everything Ive done and gone through, I dont feel deserving or ready or even just right for anyone else


ok deserve and ready is pretty differnet


i think u dseerve someone else


and i think u will be great for another person


and im sure they know that


ready thats up to you


i can't tell u when to date


thats ur decision


but u are more then good enough ella


See I want to be dating now but otherwise it just doesnt feel right


are u seeing someone right now?


or like interested


No


Theres one girl I think is really cute


But i havent like talked much with her


ok well maybe talk to her, and see how it goes


Maybe


Love you simar


love you too ella3


I know it's kinda late, but you don't have to love yourself to be loved


So, I was at a party last night and the amount of romance in the room, two cuddling on the floor, two who werent dating but its was kinda there you know, and it hit different


The late night songs and all that


so how was the party


I had two that day so I got kinda bored but it was alright


Watched a movie and played some Xbox then went outside


Not in that order tho


They kept talking through the movie


But it wasnt even a scary movie


It was, In the tall grass


Or something


ya i don't like those types of people


isn't that a horror movie tho


Yeah


But I could barely hear it so that would take away some of the scary vibes


noises are always the scariest


Gee dude i love that movie


It really makes you think


When the girl fell over when they were heading to the building, I knew it would have moved. I was just like, and the building is gone


Yep


Just a loop


In time


Crazy


Indeed


I'm sad and disappointed rn


I'm sad because my bestfreind can't come over today


I'm disappointed because I'm still sick


That is sad, but if you are sick its good that your friend doesnt come over


I'm getting better now


So maybe tomorrow I might be cured


tw ED i think:/


so like over the last 34 months ive been eating less and less. Still not eating healthy, but eating less. And ppl keep saying'oh ur losing weight!' And thats what i want to lose weight, but i was like 145lb in August. I used a scale today for the first time in months, and its old, not digital either, so idk how reliable it is, but it said 148lb and now i dont even wanna look at food bc thats the reason im big yk? like im hungry as all hell but i dont wanna eat bc it bloats me and makes me look even bigger. and then theres the fact that i should exercise and lose weight healthily. exercising i can do, but i need time to do it, but healthy eating is like near impossible bc that stuff costs so much money and money is very scarce:/


ok if ur hungry i think u should eat, i get its important but its better if u eat, and as u said that is old so it might not be true, and ik its gonna be stressing u but really its better to take care of urself by just eating, im sure u are still young and there is a lot of time to change, please don't get sick


if u wanna lose weight btw eating less isn't really the way, ya exercise does help a lot and even if its a little it helps long term, just do little by little


baby steps are important


I know:/


Its just a matter of finding time for it


And motivation


Bc lately i havent had time for anything aside from work and school, and i barely even have the motivation for those


sometimes we are at a red light


and we don't know when it turns green


it turns green when u try, sometimes ya it won't work but u just gotta try things, its hard to get motivation but best thing is to make a goal before doing anything


and saying u can do it


i know u can do it btw3


thank you


I matured off of pain


And I am also lost


Not lost for direction


But lost for where to go in life


it could be early morning of why im thinking like this but i really just never wanna wake up, like i think im suicidal but i dont try anything, i just wanna get it over with


That is a lesser version of being suicidal. Even if you don't have a plan or anything, the idea of wanting to die is consider suicidal ideation, even if it's the idea of well if I got hit by a truck, I wouldn't mind. In some cases it can get worse the more you ignore, in some cases it can stay there or you could generally feel better. If the thoughts get any worse however, I suggest talking to a doctor or therapist.


i mean i kinda had a talk with my parents of having a therapist but they just got worried and kinda made them struggle which i don't wanna put them on that stress, but ya im kinda caring less and less about my own life so idk


You need to prioritize your own mental health first and foremost


Parents are gonna worry about everything, but it's better to worry and still have you than you to be dead


ya ur right


As someone who had undiagnosed depression for most of my life, It gets harder and more painful the longer you wait. Don't make the same mistake I did.


ok thank you3


anytime 3


i farted in a vent


i meant chat


zain felt deppressed bc of this


i hope the chat gets deleted


I'm sorry to hear that


That doesn't change the fact that this channel has helped several people


That sexy mf monkey0471 k


Lmao


I'm getting better from my sickness


But I still feel sick from the heart


I don't know how to get over that


I don't know how to cure myself from my heart


Do you mind if I ask what you mean by that?


I'm feeling sick from my heart


And I don't know how to cure that sickness


Ashlyn


HunnyPuppy physically or mentally


Ashlyn both very painfull


Well if you need to talk about emotions, here or someones dm is best


mine is open if needed


Thank you


of course, mental health is half your health, it's important to work on it when needed


Yeah


I'm having suicidal thoughts and idk why im bout to cry;; tommarow I have school and I really dont feel like doing anything I feel so alone rn even tho I'm not alone hate it here wish I could leave


Papa John's ik life is hard and shit but there is a lot in ur future good things, ya it may not seem like it but im telling you things will get better just takes a lot of time, if u ever need someone to talk to my dms are always open, but if u are thinking about it its best to tell an adult and have them help out


do you ever just get them times when you arent exactly sad or upset you just wanna die...


cause im experiencing that rn idk where it came from


like idk im just tired of life in general


its exhausting


i just wanna be in a different reality


or just


yknow not here


like drained


finally found the word


things get happier and have been but its just exhausting to be alive still


This is a type of depression


there is a misconception that depression is being sad. It's not, it can be but that's not what depression is


It can also just be not really feeling anything, or just feeling meh all the time


there is nothing wrong in feeling that way


but it certainly wouldn't be a bad idea to talk to your doctor about it


yeah ive tried talking to my mother but i couldnt fully open up so she didnt just exactly understand


my relationship is getting better with her but i still find it difficult im trying to work as well with what i can for now till i can tell her cause im still scared shell just yell at me


or brush it off as just being a teenager


There is also nothing wrong with feeling like that


My parents have told me I can talk to them about anything


and know that I have severe depression and I was suicidal


But I don't talk to them about stuff, I trust my therapist and friends more, because they don't have any power over me


It's scary telling the people who own the house you live in the problems you're dealing with, because you don't really know how they will react


even more so if they punish you for small things


yeah thats what she tells me. but when i did open up to her i was scared as hell for no reason i just didnt know how or what to tell her. and cause i couldnt explain she screamed at me and i had a panic attack so thats fun said i was acting like a baby.


didnt exactly help. tried telling her im scared of her, went over her head


Ashlyn oh yeah thats pretty common


You have absolutely no obligation to tell them your problems


thats good to know. shes been trying to get me too for awhile but idk just cant


She can try all she wants, but if you are not comfortable telling her, especially if she's gonna yell at you and say you're acting like a baby, then don't tell her


ask if you can see a therapist and just say you're more comfortable talking to one


thats a good idea, i could also pluck up the courage to talk to school and set up an appointment with the nurse that comes in pretty sure she does mental health stuff. thank you for the advice, it was really helpful


keep in mind that school nurses aren't specialized in anything. they can help with injuries or mental health stuff, but your best bet is a therapist


no problem:


farted


I feel really conflicted right now.


I dont think anyone is going to really reply to this but I want to move out of my house and I feel responsible for everything. Its such a heavy feeling just dragging on and on and I really can't because its so exhausted. I feel so mad sometimes but I dont know how to express it and I end up making a fool out of myself and making it seem like its a huge deal . I dont want to ask for pity, but why can't at least one person really pretend to care? like..seriously


waterbottle Moving out is a massive thing to do, stressing over it and worry about how you do it is going to feel exhausting as fuck, and that's ok. This is new territory for you, you're gonna make mistakes and you're gonna get frustrated, that's completely normal. It is absolutely ok to make mistakes, especially with something like moving out. In terms of others caring, it's can be hard for others to show you they care with something like moving out. It's not that they don't, but they might just not know how to help or don't realize you're struggling with anything. Try to be open about what you're dealing with to the people you're close to, and either a therapist for a short term to talk about your frustrations, or just venting to people that will listen can help take a some of the stress off of you. Be forgiving to yourself during this process, everyone makes mistakes.


Can i just get everything of my chest here pls


U dont have to reply or read it


Only if u wanna see what i go through


You can put anything here


period


simar go off


venting king


My crush asked my cousin out


I really did liked him


but I don't know what to think anymore


I just might as well have him have her


I want to see him happy


but she also saids she doesn't know her feels to well


and well


i started crying becouse I'm scared that if I confess my love to him he will leave me or do something negative


And I'm honestly scared


becosue I keep thinking about William that kid who pretended to love me when I really did loved him


he broke my badly after I found out that he never loved back but he was cheating on his girlfriend with me and other girls too


It really broke me


but my next relationship half way fixed it for me


And now


he left me twice


and now i have a fear of love and fear of comminment


I don't want to be in the same relationship i was in before


I'm scared to be in a relationship


I'm scared of everything


I can't do it


I'm scared of everything in my life


I'm scared of getting into problems


I literally cried when I found that out and now my eyes are sleepy


I became mute...


It started off as a throaght ache last weekend so it would really hurt when i speak... now it developted in me not being able to make a noise at all... im both confused, sad, kinda panicking... doctors dunno whats going on yet... idk what to do... i cant sleep for 3 days and its a week full of tests... i feel like im dying from the insde out


Big toe


I give you homie kiss


lemme give you a kiss as well


im sorry love3


You matter


Yeah but what good do i have in me im just a useless person that shouldnt be here


look joshie, i love you. you matter. i care about you. and thats never gonna change. ok love?


yall are the reason im still alive, youre someone i talk to the most, youre special to me


Well thanks for saying that but i just wish i wasnt here and i could stop making the people i care about hurt and upset i wish they could just forgot about me it would be the best for them and me


Ashlyn thanks I don't know where to go from here its like I have done everything. I never really talk to anyone about my feelings because i don't know what i feel Idk how to even start getting my life back to normal its really hard i do talk to my psychiatrist alot and my support teacher but i really doesnt seem to be helping to just get asked the same stuff every time and I feel like I'm getting no where with it


Joshie Since you have a psychiatrist, do you have an anti depressant? In terms of talking to people about your emotions, therapist specifically are going to be your best bet. I didn't really know what I was feeling most of the time and talking to someone who knows what I'm feeling when I describe it has helped me be more in tune with my emotions.


Don't put too much focus on getting back to normal, it doesn't always work that way. And deciding what is normal is not something you can really do since different people have a different normal. Focus on what you CAN control, you don't know where your life is going right now, that is absolutely ok, but don't let the fear of the future consume you, you have to work on how you are feeling right now, and then once you are in a spot that you feel ok, start looking at your future. You are in no rush to get to the future, for you it could be college, it could be taking time off or it could be right in to work. Cross that bridge when you get there. Focus on either finding a therapist that works or trying to be more open to your therapist, tell them that you don't know what you're feeling. If you feel like figuring out your emotions is going to help, focus on working through them with your therapist and understanding them more instead of trying to jump right to fixing them. You don't fix stuff without knowing how they work, figure out how you work and how you can deal with your emotions in a healthy way. And again, don't be afraid to be picky with your therapist, if they aren't helping find another. Therapists aren't a one size fits all, each therapist is going to get you different results based on what works for YOU.


Okay thank ill try look for another therapist but trying to get my emotions out is hard I have been doing this since I started high school do you think Thats just the way I am an empty person that has no emotions? Idk who or what i am but i all i want to do is have a proper smile not put on a fake one like actual smile feel happiness Thats my only wish i have right now but i haven't gotten anywhere but ill try another therapist and thank for the advice I appreciate it


Okay ill try and think like that I just hope my lifes goes back to the way it was and thanks again


Joshie I'm gonna be straightforward with you, and it might be hard to hear. It won't go back to how it was. For better or worse, you grow and what that means is for you to figure out. For me personally, I don't think I want to go back to how it was, life is harder now, but I feel more like who I'm meant to be. Don't try to go back, move forward


I hope for the best for you either way


Ashlyn Okay I try move forward and forgot about the past and thanks for hoping


don't forget, but don't use that as the benchmark for who you are. There is a lot to learn from what you've done, don't let that go to waste


So from when i was really little ive been girly, felt better around girls... and stayed ever since... but lately ive be an feeling weird... and also messed up, some days i would fe well more like a girl and some days much much less which is weird bc i almost nrver felt like that... alotta times i feel anxious about me being a guy and stuff... idk what you would call that... and i also kinda feel like i dont fufil others expectations for me to be like... and its making me insane, i cant focus on anything... like no... and now even the being mute situatuion is just making it worse... im prety much a mess...


And i know with the expectations allota u would say that i should care about others... but its easier said than done, especially cause of my family


That sounds a lot like gender dysphoria, and I'm sure a lot.of the trans people in the server would agree. That could mean a lot of different things and it's up to you to explore that part of yourself. For me, it meant being non binary, not feeling like I fit in or feel comfortable identifying as male or female, for you it could be similar, it could be shifting where your gender is dependent on who you feel more comfortable as that day, it could mean you're female or it could just be a temporary feeling that goes away as you get older. The hard part is telling your family or doctor. If you aren't comfortable telling your parents, I've heard of people starting therapy for other things and using that as a way to talk about how you feel in regards to your gender. Telling your parents that you could be trans is really scary, especially if they aren't really supportive of lgbt people, and for some they could get kicked out of their house for saying it. Do you what you feel safe doing, I suggest trying to ask your parents about a therapist without mentioning that but it's up to you to decide. It's completely ok to feel like this, you are at the point where you start really forming your identity, it can be scary but try to explore that part of yourself to see where you feel comfortable


Keep in mind, I can't tell you for sure, professionals are the ones who can help you figure it all out, and if they believe that it's worth doing, they can put you on hormone blockers to give you more time to figure it out


Oh wow... that is really interesting


But like


Is there like a thing cuz like i said i dont feel like a female 100 of the time, sometimes i do feel like my birth assigned gender and what everyone sees me as but not fully ofc but still like a guy...


So does that have like a name?


There are a lot of non binary genders that could fit that feeling


the first one that comes to mind would be genderfluid, meaning you don't have a fixed gender, it can fluctuate. For some it could be every few days, some every few months.


Oo


That sounds


Hm


Idk maybe yes but who am to judge that for now like im still just 4 hours into this thing like i cant really figure if thats that just yet..


Like I said, there is no rush


Yeah


It's for you to decide how you go about it, if you feel like talking to a therapist would help, then do that. Personally that is my suggestion, they can help work through your feelings around it, and if they believe it will help, can prescribe puberty blockers


or refer you to someone who would


Don't take that to heart. For a lot of people, especially younger, they are taught to feel that way. guys are typically seen as the tough, no crying manly men and girls are seen as more emotional and weak


These don't describe how genders are though, there are butch women who prefer looking more masculine but still are women, and there are feminine guys who are still guys


it's ok to be like that, but people put a lot of pressure on filling the role you were assigned


Ashlyn hm.. but like my mom she really just cannot not know why i ask her something even hypothetical like anything... and if i a so my dad he would just be like oh cmon even whatever it is u don TV need an therapist ur 14 what would u need one for also the question would be like can i go see a therapist i dont wanna say why i just need for something


If you aren't comfortable telling them, which is absolutely ok, then just ask if you can start seeing a therapist because there are things you want to talk about that you don't want to open up to them about yet


Ashlyn yeah i mean i get u... but the expectations from others are and have been for a while one of the biggest issues of being like this...


Ashlyn believe me... they wont agree if they dont know enough


It gets easier with time. College especially, at least in my experience, opened up for me. Right now you are kinda stuck with the people you know until you move to a different school or move out of your parents house. It's the hardest part of finding out you aren't cis or straight while young, the fear of how people will see you and treat you. As you get older and explore more of you are, it gets easier to be more confident and open about it. I was the exact same way, if you told me I wasn't cis or even that I wasn't straight, I would never have believed you. But I try and be open about it now, and I feel more comfortable doing it because I have more control over who I associate with


In terms of asking them, it's hard to say since I don't know them


You could say you think you might have depression and just want a therapist to help


But I don't know if that would be enough since I don't know how open your parents are to therapy


Ashlyn: you are probably right... i shouldnt rush it im just trying to know as much as possible like u get me likethis is a whole new thing


Ashlyn oh my mom went to a therapist after mom and dad divorced so yeah shes good with em... but she wont believe the depression thing bc sshe knows im a happy person


I don't know how your country is with teen medical privacy, but you could also ask to talk to your doctor, make sure that they won't tell your parents about it, and ask if they can refer you to a therapist


if a doctor refers you to one, and says that it's a good idea you go without saying why, that might help convince them


You can also try and just test the waters on how they feel about trans people. If they are comfortable with it, it might not be a bad idea to just say why you want to do therapy


For me, I was worried my parents would kick me out, but they are really supportive now. But you are the one to decide if you do that. If you don't think they'll be ok with it then wait until you can get a therapist on your own. You have your whole life to figure it out, it's a better idea to stay safe and work through it more openly when you don't rely on them


It can also help, if you can't get a therapist, to just talk to female friends about it, assuming they are open to it, and try to explore stuff with their help. Things like changing pronouns or makeup or anything like that really


Well ok first im really glad they supported u, and i could like see how they deal with that... and with the makeup... ok so this miiight sound like a jerk thing to do but i pranked two of my friends that im closed to that i was trans once they believed it btw so idk if that could work... the pronouns maybe wouldnt be hard to try and practice to recgonise myself, and the makeup idk how i feel about makeup.. like maybe only nail polish, but yeah i suck at it so i should maybe like buy fake nails to practice on... idk


soapsoup Honestly if one of my friends joked about it, and then a year later said they might actually be, I wouldn't even give it a second thought. I would look back on the joke initially made as testing the waters if anything. With makeup, trust me, no one is good when they start, same with nails. Practice makes perfect, but if you say let friends give you a makeover or something, that can help you figure out how you feel about it. Makeup isn't what makes the gender though, I know plenty of girls who don't wear makeup except for special occasions, so not wanting to do makeup is perfectly ok


Yeah i dont really like it that much except as i said... nail polish... and yeah but tbh wouldnt trust bc of the prank... like maybe if they keep being like that after some time yeah i may trust believeing them but no... not straight up on the start... whatabout online friends tho? Like being lgbt isnt really common around here in general... but online... yknow... like they could maybe understand me better... like just to talk to them would be better bc theyre all very supportive, and one of them are also u 3


Ashlyn


True: well actuallyyy in the prank they were like kinda still questioning alot yknow but they werent against it... idk whatever could happened DEFINEDLY not yet... like i should think about this much much more... ik... no rush... but can we be get back to the gender despori or whatever its called so most of the times i feel anxious just being around guys in general... actually how i got into thinking about this today was in pe in the changing room, i didnt feel like i belonged there... and another thing im more disgusted of to say is like body hair... when i see it on people i just get so disgusted and also a bit anxious like shit thats gonna be me...”


You know its pretty bad


Yeah... im glad im not the only one who understands that... but what also makes me dysphoric is for the last time i swear the expectations... like i sometimes act what im expected to... which... well doesnt really makes me anxious just really anxious... like act tough... dont cry... things like that... except the body hair everything else is ok on a guy body tbh to me its more of like clothes and my personality in general... also when there was that prank... a twitch streamer whos fans kinda force him to dress like a girl, did a gender test once that i used for the prank... now it actually is a protected site run by doctors, so it may be more accurate than others... but it ofc still cant be as good of a judge as me right?


True...


I just took the test btw


It says moderate indication of gender dysphoria...


Might be it... but yeah


You are indeed right i think also most of the people get pressured by the expectations and stereotypes sorrounding our birth assigned gender...


Also another thing that is messing with mr alot is like how we should stand... like i cant do the hands on the sides of my torso if u get me or just one hand and the other down... crossed legs are seen weird... etc


Keep in mind, gender dysphoria is not necessary to be transgender. This might be a controversial one, but there are people transition for personal reasons, or who are agender because, not because of any dysphoria, but as a rejection of gender itself. The stereotypes that are forced upon us are what define a lot of people. If you aren't comfortable with those stereotypes or expectations, you don't have to follow them. Whether it just be opening yourself up to your feminine side but staying male, or transitioning to female or a non binary gender is for you to explore and decide. For how you stand or sit, I'll be honest I'm probably the last person to give advice on. I still get pretty dysphoric with how I sit, stand and walk. They aren't easy things to change once your body grows into and gets used to it. For people judging you over crossed legs, it can be hard not to but try not to worry too much about it. If people are worried about how you sit, then they are focused too much on other people. If people say stuff about it, just say you're more comfortable standing or sitting certain ways. It's not your job to please them


Yeah i know that its not necessary to be transgender if u have dysphoria but from the thing beforr that i might be genderfluid even its better to stay like this i think... idk tho... but also this is society we still gotta fit in somehow... and if allota people see you as a weird person, ofc u would be depressed or anxious... right? Like you cant not please other people by their expectations at all... and if what ur planning on just is the opposite of what people want maybe if u can just take it in slowly... right?


Yeah true... as i said before like im rushing and cant stop which i would expect is pretty normal in this kind of situation... like i remember when my parents divorced i was so rushed thinking whats gonna happen overthinking everything feeling like thats gonna be the worst day of my life... while now i feel pretty similar... i shouldnt rush anything... maybe after a good night sleep i could feel better and understand things better too... also once i stole a bit of my moms clothes... fore them and it felt so nice like as u probably already know i rly like fashion... female fashion to be more exact actuallly i think we already talked about this when we first met but still yknow it felt nice which made me really happy... that was around the time that was pointed out in the first message i sent...


soapsoup It can be hard to not feel like you want to rush it, I certainly rushed myself initially. But when you try something, try to reflect on how it makes you feel, good, bad, or whatever else. And try to limit how much you do at a time as to not overwhelm yourself. It can be really exciting, especially the first few months after you start thinking about it more. And trust me, I've done that as well. It's not terribly uncommon, I even ended up buying a skirt I wore while my parents were on vacation before I came out. And yea we did talk a bit about fashion


So i remember correctly  ... anyways, yeah thats what i thought everyone would feel like that... ok maybe noteveryone but most people... sorry if i respond late i usualy take time to think what to say... i dont wanna get overwhelmed too much bc i am a overthinker, with a small indication of OCD... so getting overwhelmed is really easy but also hard to take


soapsoup That want to rush is partially based on the excitement. Like holy shit I can finally start figuring out who I am more, I want to try so many things. But try your best to have self control, especially if you're like me and get overwhelmed easily


Yeah getting overwhelmed is easy so a pretty bad situation... but for now, yeah there is a bit of excitment but theres also shock yknow.. i mean the shock passed so its just a bita overthinking rn