Stale Diffusion: Hyper-realistic 5D Movie Generation Using Old-school
  Methods
Joao F. Henriques Dylan Campbell Tengda Han
Two years ago, Stable Diffusion achieved super-human performance at
generating images with super-human numbers of fingers. Following the steady
decline of its technical novelty, we propose Stale Diffusion, a method that
solidifies and ossifies Stable Diffusion in a maximum-entropy state. Stable
Diffusion works analogously to a barn (the Stable) from which an infinite set
of horses have escaped (the Diffusion). As the horses have long left the barn,
our proposal may be seen as antiquated and irrelevant. Nevertheless, we
vigorously defend our claim of novelty by identifying as early adopters of the
Slow Science Movement, which will produce extremely important pearls of wisdom
in the future. Our speed of contributions can also be seen as a quasi-static
implementation of the recent call to pause AI experiments, which we
wholeheartedly support. As a result of a careful archaeological expedition to
18-months-old Git commit histories, we found that naturally-accumulating errors
have produced a novel entropy-maximising Stale Diffusion method, that can
produce sleep-inducing hyper-realistic 5D video that is as good as one's
imagination.