january april initially named meaning dawn white mother illegitimate daughter poet lord born initially lived mother turned months old lived short life chosen roman catholic convent died age malaria visited intermittently father displayed inconsistent paternal interest early life product short lived affair romantic poet teenage mother living reduced circumstances household brother law claire wrote pregnancy begging write promise care baby ignored birth initially taken household child cousin months later claire took baby adopted child claire baby daughter wrote journal delight close physical connection little dealing emotional financial pressures difficult baby fond feared neighbours believe fathered truth relationship claire leaked mary father claire stepfather immediately conclusion learned birth october letter remarked son william disliked fond baby sister saw son reaction blood relation argument favor advocate natural affection constantly debt wanted baby sent wanted difficult close relationship husband leave house child birth wrote exquisite symmetry beauty little dawn asked plans child later acknowledged child presence embarrassment asked half sister household refused hostile claire initially fathered daughter agreed custody condition mother limited contact warned claire best plan claire hoped daughter financially comfortable better chance good life lived father sent child love wrote requested changed related nickname italian meaning cheerful relating musical term journey turn child claire wrote journal daughter dover crossed passage afraid mention baby child baptised mother relinquished discussed spelling surname instead distinguish legitimate daughter offered pay expense months life refused said cost called baby little commodore body alert intelligent look pleased appearance temperament eighteen months old wrote letter friend came days ago like healthy noisy letter half sister wrote pretty remarkably intelligent blue eyes singular forehead fair hair devil spirit letter described half year old commented resemblance physical appearance temperament interests good deal articulate letter way blue eyes light hair growing darker daily chin white skin sweet voice particular liking music way thing child forgotten english learned spoke venetian italian march complained letter year old vain behaviour probably result unstable living arrangements frequent changes age naughty child servants temper told frequent lies grew older demonstrated talent acting singing mistress called remarked talent mimicking servants singing popular songs felt talent talent shared people short term eventually cause trouble stability affection convent spent year life improved self control charm rarely punished breaking rules poetry remembering visit rolled balls count child poem julian conversation stanza grown woman wonder earth like shakespeare women convent education visited boarded family chosen objected child living arrangements years initially approved plan relinquish father summer stayed different families abandoned sent stay long periods friend british consul wife didn like sent stay families months originally agreed permit claire visit daughter agreement tried persuade let claire daughter thought ways regain custody claire alarmed reports daughter suffered type fever moved warm height summer claire wrote moved healthy climate survive pleaded send daughter town cool mountain climate didn want send raised household sure grow ill eating vegetarian diet taught pointed children household died children died young believed rumours fourth child claire daughter half sister died foster home age seventeen months raised wrote letter friend fall wrote wife mary looked pale quiet saw saw convent felt looked pale delicate infuriated roman catholic education receiving initially told approved sent convent paradise angels list saints talking idea bringing sweet creature midst trash till sixteen wrote thought little girl remembered said lost excessive months convent school behaviour improved readily disciplined didn think severe child asked tell mother wanted kiss gold dress visit longer real memory claire grown attached mistress gave little girl childhood toys played spent weeks recovering childhood illness opposed decision send daughter convent march shortly wrote furious letter accusing breaking promise daughter apart parents felt physical conditions education provided poor responsible state ignorance italian women pupils bad wives unnatural mothers ignorant society step addition enemies blame march dreamed plot kidnap daughter convent asked forge letter permission refused arranged educated convent precisely unlike lover claire thought favourably manners attitudes italian women received convent disapproved called claire loose morals behavior didn want influence believed daughter given far better chance marrying italy england roman catholic girl suitable raised convent decent chance marrying high italian society wanted child roman catholic viewed best religion claire thinks shall interfere child morals education mistakes shall wrote letter september girl shall christian married woman possible mother added proper restrictions wrote march receive better care convent mistress happy experience convent boarding school lived age persuaded convent school best place viewed convent place revolution convent called visited relatives probably considerable assistance year old wrote father letter italian convent dated september asking visit dear fair time like visit wishes satisfy won come loves convent included note inviting come left assuring loved letter wrote sincere wants fair paternal suppose responded letter visited child thirteen months convent death burial memorial died april attended doctors convent biographers identified biographer speculated died suffering type suffered previous autumn sent body england wrote inscription read memory daughter lord died italy april aged years months shall shall return samuel felt guilty neglect child death told months let object affection away death pain inflicted imagination led slight forever lost qualities feel daughter died lived existence necessary happiness sooner lose appeared live memory haunted mother death drowning july vision dead child rose naked sea laughed hands accused murdering demanded send portrait lock child hair placed charge funeral arrangements end claire bear coffin hold funeral service daughter blamed rest life death reputation child rector mary refused place plaque grave permitted buried entrance church marker died years later rector refused bury mary denied burial westminster ultimately buried mary church england placed memorial plaque inscribed words letter wrote death suppose time usual work death
Allegra Byron