Noobie314/finetuned-emotion-bert
Text Classification
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Updated
Datasets:
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The dataset generation failed because of a cast error
Error code: DatasetGenerationCastError
Exception: DatasetGenerationCastError
Message: An error occurred while generating the dataset
All the data files must have the same columns, but at some point there are 3 new columns ({'main_label', 'post', 'sub_label'}) and 3 missing columns ({'subreddit', 'Unnamed: 2', 'selftext'}).
This happened while the csv dataset builder was generating data using
hf://datasets/Noobie314/mental-health-posts-dataset/trainingData/final_sampled_dataset.csv (at revision 12d6bd5f9a5dbf2874abbf46cdae64a443d805fc)
Please either edit the data files to have matching columns, or separate them into different configurations (see docs at https://hf.co/docs/hub/datasets-manual-configuration#multiple-configurations)
Traceback: Traceback (most recent call last):
File "/src/services/worker/.venv/lib/python3.9/site-packages/datasets/builder.py", line 1871, in _prepare_split_single
writer.write_table(table)
File "/src/services/worker/.venv/lib/python3.9/site-packages/datasets/arrow_writer.py", line 623, in write_table
pa_table = table_cast(pa_table, self._schema)
File "/src/services/worker/.venv/lib/python3.9/site-packages/datasets/table.py", line 2293, in table_cast
return cast_table_to_schema(table, schema)
File "/src/services/worker/.venv/lib/python3.9/site-packages/datasets/table.py", line 2241, in cast_table_to_schema
raise CastError(
datasets.table.CastError: Couldn't cast
post: string
main_label: string
sub_label: string
-- schema metadata --
pandas: '{"index_columns": [{"kind": "range", "name": null, "start": 0, "' + 609
to
{'selftext': Value(dtype='string', id=None), 'subreddit': Value(dtype='string', id=None), 'Unnamed: 2': Value(dtype='string', id=None)}
because column names don't match
During handling of the above exception, another exception occurred:
Traceback (most recent call last):
File "/src/services/worker/src/worker/job_runners/config/parquet_and_info.py", line 1438, in compute_config_parquet_and_info_response
parquet_operations = convert_to_parquet(builder)
File "/src/services/worker/src/worker/job_runners/config/parquet_and_info.py", line 1050, in convert_to_parquet
builder.download_and_prepare(
File "/src/services/worker/.venv/lib/python3.9/site-packages/datasets/builder.py", line 925, in download_and_prepare
self._download_and_prepare(
File "/src/services/worker/.venv/lib/python3.9/site-packages/datasets/builder.py", line 1001, in _download_and_prepare
self._prepare_split(split_generator, **prepare_split_kwargs)
File "/src/services/worker/.venv/lib/python3.9/site-packages/datasets/builder.py", line 1742, in _prepare_split
for job_id, done, content in self._prepare_split_single(
File "/src/services/worker/.venv/lib/python3.9/site-packages/datasets/builder.py", line 1873, in _prepare_split_single
raise DatasetGenerationCastError.from_cast_error(
datasets.exceptions.DatasetGenerationCastError: An error occurred while generating the dataset
All the data files must have the same columns, but at some point there are 3 new columns ({'main_label', 'post', 'sub_label'}) and 3 missing columns ({'subreddit', 'Unnamed: 2', 'selftext'}).
This happened while the csv dataset builder was generating data using
hf://datasets/Noobie314/mental-health-posts-dataset/trainingData/final_sampled_dataset.csv (at revision 12d6bd5f9a5dbf2874abbf46cdae64a443d805fc)
Please either edit the data files to have matching columns, or separate them into different configurations (see docs at https://hf.co/docs/hub/datasets-manual-configuration#multiple-configurations)Need help to make the dataset viewer work? Make sure to review how to configure the dataset viewer, and open a discussion for direct support.
selftext
string | subreddit
string | Unnamed: 2
string |
|---|---|---|
I have several diagnoses… major depressive disorder, generalized anxiety disorder, obsessive compulsive disorder, dysthymia, ADHD, panic disorder. Probably more, who knows. Wouldn't be surprising (lol)
I've had panic attacks since I was 7-8 and have shown major signs of depression since 9-10. I'm 27 now so that's like approximately 18 years I've been dealing with this. 2/3rds of my life.
I'm just… I'm so unbelievably tired of fighting it. Constantly battling through and being “strong” through everything just to function on a semi-normal level. But even then I'm still depressed. On 4 medications and 2-3 therapy sessions a week the best I've scored on a depression measure is still in the moderate range. I've been in treatment for 8 years. I'm just like so unbelievably tired of it.
And at 27 I really thought something would be different by now. I don't want to do this anymore. | depression | subreddit |
Currently I am in a spica cast from my chest down to my toes and it fully covers both my legs and my chest just below my nipples. And even my fucking dick is broken and the doctor said it might never be the same again and it'd be a miracle if I can get n keep an erection. So my body is casted both my legs are casted with a bar In between and my penis is literally in traction. Every time I look down I just start balling crying see my dick being held in place with metal wires in and around it and stitches on it. And I can barley even wiggle my toes. Can't do anything on my own my fucking wife is cheating on me and everything is just going bad please I need someone to talk to. I feel so alone broken helpless and just hurt. I can't do shit for myself so I have to let my toxic ass wife just do whatever she wants or else I'll just be stuck here. And I don't think my body will ever be the same. The doctor already told me my dick won't be and he's sorry but he doesn't think sex will be too possible or at least very good because my penis. I'm just so broken down and torn apart. | depression | depression |
As a child I was diagnosed with reactive attachment disorder. My biological mother would leave me in closets and lock me in my bedroom to cry for hours, never took care of my needs, and as a result I was completely unable to make eye contact with anyone or express affection towards my mother at as early as six months old. I then had to take the role of a parent to my newborn sister at only three years old. To give you some reference, this was the same age I was when I called 911 after finding my mom unconscious on the porch.
I'm 25 now and the tale has never ended, just a constant one-two punch that has continued ever since without a single moment where there really was nothing to worry about. 25 years later and I have gotten no less fucking lonely.
I went into foster care at nine and was adopted by my fifth foster family at 13. This gave me access to people who could see what damage was done for the first time. I was diagnosed with autism, PTSD, and Bipolar 2. The state made me stay inpatient psych at 16 for six months because it came to that. Later I developed two more disorders, one an ED, and the other polysubstance. If there is a form of abuse, I've been a survivor.
I'm in immediate danger of losing my home and have nowhere to go. Court is trying to force me to get my shit together, even so much as forcing me to start a drug rehabilitation program for fucking WEED (which keeps me off of crank but they don't know that and I don't want them to know that). Other things that involve legal cases of others close in my life that I don't want you to know. I have very few friends and can't catch a break to see any of them. I have community resources, but they're packed so tight that I barely get in. Few seem to believe my story even though I've told them the mountains of documents and news articles I had that prove almost all of it. I even offered to show them.
I have a history of psychosis and I feel it coming back. Every day I go deeper. I can barely process what people say to me and as a result I barely react. I'm going days without eating or sleeping. I'm spending hours just pacing through the house. My thoughts are stacking like tabs in a browser until the thing shuts down and it feels like I'm being electrocuted in the guts for a second or so while I race to try to pick my brain off the cliff it jumped off of. I'm not hungry and vomit randomly (not pregnant, checked.) I ramble ceaselessly trying to grab words to speak and people quickly ignore me instead of seeing that there's something deeply, DEEPLY fucking wrong.
There's at least one time a day where I think my birth is my own undoing and that there's only one way to fix it. My stomach hurts. | suicidal | suicidal |
I sleep for average 15 hours, and it has destroyed my life, and my hopes of getting better.
I have talked to the doctor and they say there is nothing they can do and I need to exercise more, but I hardly eat, and I dont have the motivation to go out and get food - I am truly starting to believe the only way out is death.
I am tired, please help | depression | anxiety |
With all this depersonalization/Derealization stuff, Anxiety disorder, and new antidepressant (zoloft). I fear that i will never be okay. I miss the past so much. My pre panic attack days were rough, but i took it for granted. My life changed so quickly and I'm just so sad tbh. | depression | addiction |
I've had mental disorders throughout my entire life. When I was a child I used to have a brain fog so severe that I would always make careless mistakes that no one else would make, so much so that at one point I was fully rejected at school. Not because I was rambunctious or hyperactive, just because I was considered too funny. My teachers constantly told my parents to get me evaluated for probably very severe add or some sort of immune problem(or even mental retardation) etc... that was making me float around like I was high. By my teenage years this feeling of not "fitting in" gave me social anxiety and I began to withdraw from everyone altogether. This fixed the "funny" part of my character because I was no longer displaying any character at all, just a flat "hello" and "bye". This was when I began to insist my parents on bringing me to therapy of some kind. They refused entirely from the very beginning. My mom would say things like "only insane people go to psychiatrists" or "are you insane". My bigger brother constantly told me to "just get over it" and my alcoholic dad never said anything and just continued to drink. The funny part is that we could always very easily afford anything, including therapy so I never had any problem with this asides from my family.
From then on my problems only worsened and I am now realizing that I am losing my "sensitivity" to life. I longer enjoy anything: movies, games, walking etc... Everything is just boring. I sit around 24 hours doing nothing despite wanting to do something to change myself. I have no social circle and no way of getting any friends in my current state. I also have attention problems and will probably struggle with jobs in the future. I am working part time to save money to start myself on life, but adhd + depression is making everything really hard. Every day my communication with my family lessens, this is because I don't want conflict and I know from experience that communicating my problems with my family(in a calm tone) always returns to me as a storm of crying and shouting as if I put them in a bad place. It makes me feel like everyone is already dealing with too much stuff and I am somehow being a burden by asking for comfort. They always manage to convince me to stay away from therapy and I feel anxious going to a doctor for "inquiring about myself too much" and whatnot. The last time I went to a doctor I found that the prescription was working but my mother was always like; "I can't sleep at night because your doc put you on two medications, I read an article this morning on how they destroy your brain" and was so emotionally insistent that I was convinced to stop taking the meds. Now reflecting back I realize that it was a stupid decision. How can I prevent them from influencing my motivation to go to therapy? | depression | eating_disorder |
What else is there to stick around for. No obligations, no pain for others, no real reason to exist for yourself. I guess that's when you know it's time | suicidal | 0 |
I've been going through ALOT lately, and i really just wish i could end it all, i cant take it anymore, i want peace, i want to be able to sleep forever and just not care about anything. But i'm too scared to do it myself, but if someone else killed me, i would be actually very thankful.. | depression | null |
It makes me the question of even attempting to feel anything at all. If I feel a gaping, pervasive nothingness at the end of the day no matter how I feel or what I do earlier, what's the point? | depression | null |
I lost my job, this isn't the worst part.
The only reason why I used to have a job is to support my familie financially (we neededit).
They didn't even say it directly to me into my face.
I only got a call.
This was the last straw. | suicidal | null |
I have been thinking. I have tried 1000's of things to fix it. Every day misery grows on me.
I will never have the life I want and thus I will never be happy.
I lost. | depression | null |
I'm an over-thinker with depression and when I start having a depressive episode I isolate and prefer to be alone so I cancel plans and during this time I start to question my relationship and feel unsure whether or not I still love my girlfriend, who is perfect in every way. I ultimately decided to break up with her because it's unfair that I even question my love for her when she gives me so much. Was this the right decision? | depression | null |
My whole life is nothing but the mess.
I hate everything happening in my life, everything that happened and i hate everything that will happen in my life tiller I'll be independent and live alone to do whenever i want.
I'm tired of if, I'm sick of it.
I feel how I'm driving crazy i can't control myself and I can't control what i do.
I'm sick of waking up in this house and seeing those people again and again everyday.
No, I don't really hate them, i do really love my mother and all but i hate everything she and her children do.
I hate the way those children make noise and i hate the way our mom shouts at them to be quite.
I hate how sometimes i can't control myself and i hit children when we're alone.
I do really hate myself for this because i do really love them as my siblings.
I hate how i feel controlled everything i do .
To be honest everything started from the day i was born, the only days i was seeing my father was when he came at our home and I remembered her and my mom arguing thats all then he left.
I freaking hate my life
I'll get any recommendations just to calm down or idk how is it called, to be honest the only things that helps me to get on this everything is movies and song.
I'd love if you could recommend relaxing songs and movies to cry to. Would be helpful;(
Or just share your hobbies or anything I'm just trying to get myself as busy as i can so I'm looking for new hobbies | depression | null |
my dad keeps calling me slow minded and weak every chance he gets. for example when i practice driving and he wants to get creative like making a turn backwards and it surprises me because it's dangerous and illegal, or points in a general direction and gives confusing orders and it makes me hesitate, so he calls me slow minded.
he also keeps telling me that everything that i do wrong is because i don't exercise and I'm physically weak.
while i know that both might be true (even tho i don't really consider myself dumb or slow minded) , i can realize my own weaknesses. i don't need him to keep saying these, and every time that i tell him to stop he doesn't listen and it kinda hurts that he thinks so low of me.
what am i supposed to do? how can i even prove this to him?i get good grades in college but he has really high expectations. | depression | null |
For the past 1 year I've felt suicidal. Out of that 1 year I haven't been seriously considering it until now. I feel so numb thinking about it. I have a plan, I have heroin, and a bunch of tablets to overdose on… I just feel no emotion towards it, like nothing can stop me…
I really want to tell someone like my social worker but I'm scared case people think I'm doing it for attention and I'm making it all up.. I don't know why I want to tell someone so bad maybe it's a cry for help? I've been feeling like this since i was 13 and I'm now 15 and it feels like ages.
Should I tell my social worker than I'm suicidal and seriously considering it? I don't want to do this but I know I won't be able to stop myself I just wish there was another way but I'm sick of waiting now | suicidal | null |
I work at a cafe and each team member is supposed to collect cash tips at the end of their shift. I always do it right and make sure the ppl who get cash tips have their initials on the the little paper whenever it's my turn to collect. Today as I was collecting tips, my manager (they are more of a trainer) tells me that he also gets tips so to make sure to write his name down. I have been doing this? Like I already knew. And I kinda just smiled and said okay! But like now I'm overthinking, do they think this entire time I haven't been collecting his tips? Maybe I made a mistake one day and that's why he thought that but nothing comes to mind. But I literally always make sure I do it right. So now I'm overthinking just slightly | anxiety | null |
I've been lurking in this sub for a while and have been wanting to post about how horrible my life has been with depression; but something good, maybe even great, happened yesterday. I work at a grocery store, in the deli, it's tough but it's $16.21 an hour. Anyways, it's not fun there but I met a few kind people, one of whom told me his friend is the one who just recently bought this little dollar store in our town and when I said I always wanted to work there he seemed happy. Right then and there he called him and talked for a few minutes and I got a job there! Just like that! It's $17.50 an hour!! I haven't graduated yet but I feel like I'm moving up in the world a little and it's nice, I've been having so many negatives lately so this is sweet. Anyways, hope this is ok to post here. Maybe I'll post other things about my life sometime. | depression | null |
so earlier today i was fixing my controller when i suddenly had the bright idea of messing with one of my classmates who indirectly caused me a year and a half of utter pain by telling our entire class about me forgetting my bus a day earlier which caused that day to be very embarrassing,
luckily i handled it pretty well but it was still a shitty situation especially considering it was the last day before the year and a half quarantine period, he didnt mean to do it in an awful way he was harmless about it, hes just a gossip girl kinda bitch he can't help it, but it was fucking awful is what it was since it sent me into an entire year and a half of anxiety and rumination of what they'd think of me after, turns out year and a half later they didn't even remember it, oh lucky old me
anyway he has a story up of him at the airport, the pic's quality is garbage so i go into dms and reply with "cool but did you record this with a nokia phone why is the quality trash" and he's like "its cuz of the filter", i ask him where he was travelling and he says they were just picking up his uncle from there with a bunch of laughing emojis, to which i respond "oh so you just have the story up to make it look like you were travelling huh, vicious mf" and he responds with "thanks love" to vicious mf
its a very unnecessary and weird situation, i was having fun playing so if the controller hadn't broke down and i hadn't started thinking, that convo wouldn't have happened and i don't usually act on impulse or haste so i honestly don't know why i did that besides "lemme fuck with him"
i decide to also spam his SMS and email with "forgot pass" notifs after cuz why the hell not, my last msg to him was laughing emojis and he didnt see those until after so seems like he took note of the SMS spam and got bothered which is real funny
the thing is that i know a relative of his since they taught me english and they're real nice, he's a generally good person too he doesn't even swear or hit people he's just physically big but he scares easily and is bullied with nicknames like big baby n shit, he just thinks he's cool cuz the "cool kids" let him hang out with them cuz he's a gossip girl but they fuck with him too, a lot
that's pretty much it, he has a weird way of insinuating against people and making them feel dumb so fucking around with him is funny but risky since he can make you feel dumb, he kinda deserves it cuz he can be an asshole and everyone does it to him. thoughts are welcome and thanks for reading | anxiety | null |
As the title says I want to kill myself and nobody gives a fuck about me. I am alone. | depression | null |
Honestly, for me, it's not always terrible. I can get out of bed, I go to my job, and live a pretty normal life. However, there are days where I will go into a full out spiral and can't stop thinking about something. I gaslight myself constantly, and I'm pretty much always worrying about something. There are sometimes where I feel very relaxed and can have a great day but I know that it doesn't come around very often. Is this a normal level of anxiety? I also have depression. Not sure if my anxiety is bad enough for meds or if I can do it without. Idk. Looking for some guidance on how to know when it's time to consider meds. | anxiety | null |
I want to give up I feel like hitting myself in the head I am not smart I am dumb maybe I should be with my mom who passed away 1 year and 4 months ago I hate having autism | depression | null |
I had just turned 27 when the pandemic started. Now I'm 30… my work permit expired and the attorney I hired was incompetent so messed up my paper work which set me back a year. Unemployment won't help me, I can't work. I'm almost out of saving and still waiting on the USCIS to process my paperwork.
I lost my apartment, my job which I loved and I had just gotten a promotion that paid really well. I haven't dated because I feel like a loser even though none of this is my fault. I feel at a complete loss. By the time all of this gets sorted I'll probably be 31. I'm feel so angry at the people who created this pandemic because they ruined my life (everyone's life) people have died over this pandemic! lots of innocent people. I don't see any consequences happening to the people who started this. I'm just so angry, and depressed. I've never been on anxiety meds or depression meds before this. Now I have pills coming out of my ears. This is too much to handle as a human. I miss life, I'm too scared to go out because I don't want to catch the virus. I'm getting older, I just feel like I'm missing so much.
Sorry for the rant, I just needed to get it out of my chest. | anxiety | null |
The last year I have never felt so alone in my life. I feel like I have absolutely no one. I have my parents but they live about an hour away so it's not possible to see them every day. Other than them I don't feel like I have anyone actually close to me. I have friends that I grab drinks with on occasion but I never see them unless we're out. I spend every hour of every day by myself and no one checks in and everyone I talk to it feels like I'm being a nuisance and bothering them. I wrote my note about a month ago and have been keeping it in my wallet. I fantasize a lot about not being here anymore. I just don't know what to do. I've tried all sorts of antidepressants and the thoughts just never leave. I just feel like I'm literally the only person on earth that's in my corner. And I don't even like me. | suicidal | null |
I'm really struggling here. I am severely emetophobic (afraid of throwing up) and I am also afraid of gagging because I relate the two. I'm 23 now, but as a young child, I used to gag a lot before school because of anxiety. It happened before sports games in high school too, but stopped my sophomore year of high school. I thought I was in the clear and that it wasn't a symptom I dealt with anymore.
But it's back. A couple of weeks ago, I was in Nashville TN at a crowded bar. It had to have been like 100F and sunny out that day. I started to panic and gagged 3 times in the bar in front of my boyfriend and his friends. I was so embarrassed and it shook me up a lot, but I brushed it off as a weird one-off fluke.
But then it happened again today. My boyfriend is deployed and we're currently fighting and at risk of breaking up. I was supposed to make a 3 hour drive to go visit my friends, but I was so anxious about the fight that I gagged while driving around 30 minutes into the drive. I pulled over and turned to head home. On the way home, I had to pull over twice more to gag at least 6 times. I was absolutely terrified and proceeded to have a severe panic attack.
This may just be an annoyance for people who don't think much of gagging, but I am TERRIFIED of it because I'm scared it'll make me puke. I really felt like I was going to but luckily never did (there was also basically nothing in my stomach).
I've tried mints, gum, sprite, tea, water, propranolol and zofran. But it still happens.
I was hoping y'all may have some other tips to make it stop because it's making me so miserable. TIA ❤️ | anxiety | null |
Hello everyone, I hope you guys are doing well, even if it's a little bit.
I'd like you guys to talk to me, vent, tell me about your day, what you want to be, your goals, tell me about your favorite things. Sometimes some of us need a good conversation, and I'd be glad to have one with you. | depression | null |
Over the last few months I've accumulated troubles with my job, troubles with the wife, troubles with my parents.
Different situations that create frustration and stress. But usually, each only makes me angry/anxious for an hour or so and I can find escapes and forget about it.
Last week, something snapped.
I had a mild panic attack in the middle of nowhere and since, I'm anxious almost all the time and all I can think about is the list of the things going wrong in my life. Like if part of me suddenly gave me a deadline to fix everything.
It drains all my energy and can't find the motivation to do things I normally do to calm me down like hiking or running (the heatwave inst helping). | anxiety | null |
I have a lot of health issues both physical and mental and was wondering if there's a way to humanely go out? I don't like heights or sharp objects. Please don't convince me not to, I have a right to make decisions about my life. I just want to know if anyone knows of a way it can be done as humanely as possible | suicidal | null |
So, just wondering about this. Whenever I Youtube advice on depression, it's always doctors or self-help coaches trying to get your money in the end. I'd like to actually hear from a person who's weathered the storm and managed to cope with depression. I'm going through a really rough patch and am dissociating. I barely even hear what people say to me. | depression | null |
This one isn't about me but about a friend of mine. He (20) seems to struggle a lot with depression and mentioned it a few times but overall keeps it to himself. While our common friends now go to university or have to go to the military, he's still stuck in school because he missed 6 months last year due to his struggle. We've all tried to help him somehow, talked to him, spent a lot of time and effort so he wouldn't feel alone etc. but to no use. By now many of our common friends distanced themselves from him because he started to make them feel so bad that they couldn't handle it anymore, partly also on purpose. For example telling them how awful friends they are if they don't spend every single minute with him and so on. He's no different to me, I can barely do anything on my own or with someone else than him because then that would prove how little I care about him. Granted, I've stopped talking to him about his depression because it really had no use and so many already tried before me. He didn't consider going to therapy or take antidepressant drugs or anything. I know this doesn't work for everyone but it could be at least worth a try after two years?
He once mentioned that I'm the only friend left and that no one really cared about him which is definitelly not true! Our friend group meet every Friday evening but he stopped coming for some reason. He's always invited but no matter how often we'd invite him he just wouldn't come or even respond. It seems as if he didn't even want to do about his situation.
Am I just being ignorant and/or too harsh on him? I really don't know but there's nothing I can think of to help him anymore. I will of course always support him, but I can't get him out of depression by myself. Is there anything I haven't considered or you might know what could help? | depression | null |
I recently went on holiday, with my in-laws, and it should have been a relaxing beach holiday, but almost every situation I felt my anxiety winning, I was saying no to things, felt I couldn't breathe, and my IBS was flaring up massively! Does anyone have any successful tips or coping mechanisms that help you feel more ‘ you' need help! 🙏🏻 | anxiety | null |
Hey, What are your go-to-cause-I-need-to-eat-food meals?
I honestly don't remember the last time I ate the reccomended 3 meals a day and I want to try and tackle this.
Also for context I have PTSD, PCOS and have a crap ton of self-loathing around my body as well so I would love any help y'all could give me :) | depression | null |
I'm never going to be capable of being secure with the person I am and happy being alone. My happiness always comes being around people, but my life is always going to be alone. I'm never going to find people to stick by me and make stories with. Fuck, I'm never going to have control over my life and make it the one I want.
But I can choose how it ends.
I'm going to write out my story and find someone to tell it to. And then I'll choose it's ending. | suicidal | null |
Well - i am here to cry out my Soul a Bit. I am 28, gambling addicted since im 18 but i was aber to close the chapter for almost 3 years. Now, at the worst timing, i fell back and lost my whole money. I feel so many bad things again since two weeks and i cant hold it any longer.
I love my newborn son and my wife. My wife helped me ist of the Bad Situation two years ago. She took a loan for me (30k €) which still wasnt enough. My overall debts are about 60k (Family included)
No bank, no friend no Family - noone can Help me out. I was on a very good run and i lost it all. Again. And i cant explain myself. Why did i do this?
I cant sleep anymore. I have to watch my son, crying and thinking about what i have done to my Little Family. I feel like having no way out.
I dont know why i create this post. I Need some power. I Need a wonder. But at least i need healing again.
I was able to lock out myself again From every Casino (online aswell)
But the pockets are empty now. My mind isnt.
I wanted to change myself to give my son a good Life. I destroyed everything…. | depression | null |
I know it's dumb but i just feel like i failed. | depression | null |
She's the one person who is able to inspire my darkest depressive episodes due to her toxicity, and even though I gently tried to steer her away from behaving in such a way she continued to do so. So I'm having to ghost her, and I feel bloody awful for doing it.
I know that I've got to cut her out of my life so that I don't have someone constantly reminding me of how crap I am at everything, or rubbing my nose in her own success, and that ultimately I will be better off without her negativity. But still. This sucks.
I just wish everyone would forget about me, and that my entire life and self could be erased. | suicidal | null |
Multiplayer games like dota, cs:go, battle royal makes me stressed when played for 3-4+ hours. But single player games doesn't. That's why i quit online competitive games and play single player only (causes no issues :D ) .
Suggest me a stress free multiplayer game. | anxiety | null |
I had my first attack in weeks. But I'm still not out. I just keep crying. I don't want to fight anymore. I want to end it. I want to grab my blades again. But I can't. I'm not brave enough. My cat is right here and I can't. I want to end it all I want to see my friends again. They are dead and gone and I want to see them. I miss her. I miss Jess. She's gone. She gone forever. And I want her back. She made me feel so valid. I'm so tired. I can't keep working for nothing. My job. I will never get where I want to go. My family wants to go to FUCKING MEXICO. I CANT AFFORD THAT. I AM UNABLE TO AFFORD THAT. I HAVE NOTHING. I CANT PAY. IM SO EXHAUSTED. I WANT TO GO TO SCHOOL BUT I CANT. I WILL NEVER AFFORD IT. I WILL DROWN. I should just end my life. It would be better for me. For everyone. My family would be happier. Life will never get easier. I don't know how to fight anymore. I'm so tired. Someone please. Tell me. Tell me what I should do. | suicidal | null |
Skipping my final (resit) tomorrow as I've only managed to study a total sum of 3 pages. 2 more resits this week, both of which I haven't been able to bring myself to prepare for for the past two weeks. Each time I open my books, ten minutes in, maybe twenty, I'm crying and out of breath because there's no way I get all this shit done, especially when I think back to previous failures. I pass one, I get to keep my residence permit until the academic counsellors decide whether I should be kicked out or given an extension. It's gonna take 800 euros of plane tickets, possibly thousands of euros of rent and deposits, and two more months to know whether I get the extension or not. That's days before the next academic year starts. Oh, I'm also about to be homeless. | anxiety | null |
Fucking fuck why why why am I like this why why why why why why why why why why ugh | suicidal | null |
there's a lot wrong so many things in my head but it's all scrambled and can't find one specific tging i need someone to take the words out of my head and make sense of them
idk how long i can go like this and i wanna give up completely i'll never be nearly good enough to do what i want and im not really sure if that's what i want but im not good at anything killing myself would be easier than trying to live a shittylife thats not going anywhere
i dont whana exist i can barely do a thing during the day i wouldnt even bother eating if someone else didnt cook not to mention how disgusting and gross i amusing the same dirry clothes cause its too much effort changing them you dont wanna imagine how my bed looks because why bother doing anything im a piece of shit anyway i deserve this and worse i deserve the isolation and lonlines
i wanna blame others but at the end of the day im responsible for not going anywhere but ive been depressed for so long i dont know another way of living and dont know how i would ever get out of hereall alone
id like a hug even tho they are uncomfortable i wanna feel that one last time before disappearing | depression | null |
i hate that people care...how people will "miss" me (though they'll all move on and if anything, it'll be a good bonding experience). it sounds selfish, but i just wish no one cared so i could get it down without worrying about causing a mess, i want to destroy my relationships so no one will miss me, so no one would be hurt, it'll be so easy just to turn off my phone, delete every social media, and be gone without a trace
i have no hope, and dont say "oh it gets better", i've waited 6 fucking years and it doesnt, instead it just gets worse as the world collapses around us, i've hurt the person closest to me and i cant bare to live with it, i've tried everything. what more must i do? tell me what should i do???? i gave it a good go, i waited my turn and did everything according to the rules. fuck this is pathetic | suicidal | null |
please | anxiety | null |
I've overthinking a lot very lately and have been asking myself what's the point of life?
I started feeling this after I came to the realization that I kept going only to achieve a certain short term goal. For example I tried I went through school to end up in a good college. Then got through college to get a good job. Now what is the point after getting this good job?
You just work your ass off for the rest of your life to support a family and retire.
It's like you work hard to survive first then get comfortable. What's the use of surviving when there is no point in the end?
The idea of life is so horrible. You suffer for a timeframe that feels like forever and just die without doing anything important.
This mindset is slowly pushing me towards giving up on life completely and I'm gradually getting into a state where I don't want to do shit.
Nothing that used to make me happy makes me happy anymore.
I keep finding comfort in the fact that I'm eventually going to somehow die. I feel like if this goes on I might do something that I'm not supposed to do.
I just want to know what everyone feels is the point of life?
Is there any point or are we just stuck here to survive, get comfortable and die in the end? | depression | null |
Does anybody else feel anxious if you're not multi-tasking? Especially on my days off, I find it so hard to do anything such as just enjoying a movie without feeling like I should be doing something else as well, such as cleaning, scrolling through my phone, or even just playing a game. I constantly feel like I have so many things to do that I just become useless for hours, which makes me even more anxious since I'm doing nothing at all and the hours keep passing by.
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does anybody have any advice on how to deal with this? | anxiety | null |
I'm sure I'll hate myself for being weak and making this tomorrow morning but idk what else to do. I'm just so done with it all. I'm 21 and just feel like a complete and utter failure. I'm tired all. Of. The. Time. I'm sick of it I can't sleep because my thoughts never stop racing but during the day I'm exhausted. It doesn't help though that I have no desire to do anything at all. I'm a college student and I don't want to go to class, I don't want to go to work, I don't want to even get out of bed to make myself food. I used to like to play video games but now it's just another tool to escape. I find myself playing hours on end bored out of my mind but at least it's a distraction from the things in my life that give me so much anxiety I just shut down. I did therapy for a few months without any real help, and have been on an SSRI and NDRI for years now, and just can't seem to notice a difference aside from not really being as suicidal anymore. Idk all of that just to say I feel terrible right now, and I wish I didn't. I don't know what to do to fix me, when I don't want to do anything at all in the first place. I am just a waste of a person at this point. Anyways, I guess that's enough off my chest for now. Sorry to waste your time reading that. Back to staring at my phone until I can finally fall asleep and dread waking up tomorrow | depression | null |
My younger brother (16) was having a panic attack in my car. He kept saying he thought he was going to die. I gave him .5 klonopin and he has never taken a benzo. He is acting extremely weird and is saying his through and chest hurts. It's been two hours since he has taken this. Is this okay? | anxiety | null |
It's painful af to be a lonely person with no one close to you, but when the time comes it will be like a blessing. At least I won't feel guilty killing myself | suicidal | null |
I'd made so much progress. I lost weight, made friends, and was feeling so much better than normal. I was happy for the first time in months.
I knew a girl for years, and we were best friends. We'd been best friends for years, and I started to like her, but she started acting and talking in ways I didn't like. She made me uncomfortable, angry, and sad, so I stopped talking to her.
It's been about a year since we last spoke and now she's in my class again. She thinks nothing has changed, but I don't even want to be friends with her anymore.
I was doing great, and now she came back into mud life and now I'm sitting my room depressed as shit because part of me still likes her, but she won't change. I feel like I'm standing on a cliff when I'm around her, and not in a good way.
I don't know what to do. I thought I was doing better. | depression | null |
This seems like it's going to be really difficult to explain but I will try my best. My apologies in advance if this doesn't make sense.
I think I have known for a while that I am depressed and I think it's gotten a lot worse recently. I know my mom was diagnosed for depression when I was younger so I'm not sure how much of this is from me just inherently having it or how much of it is from certain situations in my life taking a toll on me. My best guess is that it's probably both. I'm not sure if that matters too much but I felt it was worth mentioning.
I've gone through a lot of family issues growing up and I am still going through them now. I grew up in a very negative and loud household where basically my parents would scream at each other in front of me all the time. I was really afraid of it as a little kid and as I grew up I had a lot of confrontational problems which led to more issues in my life (it's a very long story that I won't get into). I am about to be 29 now and I almost feel silly for saying this but since then I have not been able to sense this feeling of fear. I could be sitting there just watching tv or playing video games and have this feeling inside of me like something bad is going to happen. I think this feeling is a little easier for me to understand but the next one I'm about to describe is honestly worse and more confusing to me.
First off, I have felt isolated from everyone in my life (mostly from my own doing). I feel this way even when it comes to my own parents who I have recently had a lot of big disagreements and arguments with, resulting in us not talking to each other. Things feel like they've changed so much to the point where I don't even think they know me anymore. I know it's common to feel lonely or isolated, but there's something about this that really adds to that feeling. I guess what I'm trying to explain is I feel like I no longer have my own family as a sturdy familiar thing to rely on in my life. As a result I feel very alone and I know I'm not thinking the most positive thoughts these days. I feel like even a dog or cat or something would help me right now and give me some sort of companionship that I can take comfort in. I know all of this starts from within and becoming at peace with myself but I really don't know how to get there. Ive lived so many different places but I feel like I haven't actually been home in years.
I still feel like I didn't explain that well but I tried my best. I need to fix these things so I can build my own family and be a sturdy rock for them. | depression | null |
I'm 21 years old, struggle with MDD, GAD, Panic disorder, Social anxiety disorder and body dysmorphic disorder. I've especially been really struggling this year due to a big break up with some unwanted drama that only ended up hurting me more to being the point of being classified as traumatic. I've been trying to get a new job so I can get away (I work with my ex and “her”) bc I know that it'll solve like 80% of my problems. But I keep getting turned down and having tho see them, especially “her” at work some weekends literally triggers me bc of the bs they put me through.
It also doesn't help that bc of my mental health deteriorating, I've been falling asleep earlier than normal, forget to take my meds because of it until I randomly wake up in the middle of the night, and then have trouble falling back asleep.
I feel so trapped in my body bc of how I view myself and how I only seem to bother other people by being alive, especially lately. My dad is always on my ass about shit and I'm trying to meet his demands but I barley have the energy. He keeps making these rude and I necessary comments about me or to me, and then turn around and tells me he loves me. I can't tell him how I'm feeling bc he'll either dismiss it or get mad.
I know that I do have people who care about me and that's honestly probably why I haven't tried anything super scary yet. That and I'm worried about the pain and about who will find me and want more of an inconvenience I'll become.
I do have a psychiatrist and a therapist, but my next appointment isn't until next Friday. I'm scared to tell her what's been going on since the last time I seen her I was doing better after my break up. I don't want to be told I'm a danger to myself and get emergency services called on me and stress my family out after I tell her the truth. The truth being I've been getting closer to really hurting myself (scratching my arms all up with a nail file without drawing blood but still feel pain, and I just tried to strangle my self with some clothing after having another mini argument with my dad bc he made me feel like crap.)
Idk why I'm even typing this here, as it probably won't even get viewed. I guess I just need to vent? Being alive rn keeps giving me that heart drop feeling in my chest and I'm so tired of being tired….I just want to be happy damn it | suicidal | null |
I don't want to die... I really really really really really don't...
But staying alive isn't providing me any enjoyment... Everything just crushes my spirits. I don't expect any goodness anymore. I don't expect good luck. I only expect the worst case scenarios for everything. Because I'm cursed to always fail. Always be tormented, always be broken. Always have my happiness taken from me. And I can't keep going with this vicious cycle... I can't keep having life destroy me because I simply want to smile.
My life is nothing but punishment and misery. I'm not good enough for anybody... Nobody wants me...
I'm unwanted, unloved, and ugly... I'm worthless...
I don't want to die... But it seems like the world never wanted me to live either...
What do I do? How do I make the pain go away? | suicidal | null |
This morning, my alarm woke me up abruptly and I was laying on my back and felt my heart beat *pound* hard. It wasn't really fast or anything, but it was just really amplified. It also felt weird. I don't know to really describe it. It didn't feel like a "skipped beat" per say because I get those too and it wasn't the same. But it also didn't seem completly regular during the pounding heartbeat either. I don't really know how to explain it, but it lasted for like 10-30. I can't rememember much because I was half-asleep, but now then I'm fully alert, it's making me really anxious.
I remember this happening a couple times in the past, but don't really remember when. I did have two ECG's and one 10 day holter monitor that came out normal with a few PVC/PAC. My first ECG was in 2019 and the other one + holter monitor was in 2020. I'm 19 (F).
I just hate worrying about this :( | anxiety | null |
I'm just really happy because I've been struggling for a while and been doing everything I can to regulate myself and my anxiety- and it's still not enough. I've been at a low point. My therapist brought meds up and I'm going to try them :) we'll see how it goes. | anxiety | null |
I've been a live in supervisor where I work for going on 3 years now. I do CNA work. When I'm “off” I can't leave until 9am and I have to be back by 7pm… I still have to do breakfast and morning meds by 9 and I have to be back by 7pm and do night meds and I don't get paid for any of it. But I do live here for free and it includes all house bills. On the days I work I work 7am-8pm and I get paid for only 10 hours… when I first started here in 2019 I was on the verge of being homeless, I had no car and I needed a job so it was everything I needed all in one. My boss is also really good to me. When I got my car she paid it off so I wouldn't have to pay interest. I'm down to 8k left that I owe her for the car and I put in a notice last week telling her I could work as a live in until December and then I wanted to do relief work. She said she wanted us to set up a payment arrangement and a contract to get what I owe her notarized so she knew that she would get her money back. I said of course and I started working on how much I could repay her each month and I sent it to her and the contract thing she still hasn't given me one to sign. Yesterday she came by here and it was the first time I seen her since giving my notice and she was petty as hell. I was going to go in the office to just say hey and my coworker who was in the office said “she don't wanna see you” so I went to my room. Minutes later that coworker came to my door saying my bosses kids where here wanted to see the puppy. I said “she's not welcome anywhere I'm not” and I shut my door. It took everything in me to not pack up my car, leave and say screw your money. I have given this job nearly 3 years of my life and it's gotten to the point of where I want to cry every night because I don't have any freedom. I'm 23 years old I've been here since I was 21. I don't get to go on dates or hang out with friends or anything because of my schedule here. This place is making me have horrible panic attack because I feel trapped. It's making me depressed because I have no life. | depression | null |
Hey, I was hoping someone might be able give some advice.
I take three antidepressants - 45mg mirtazapine, 37.5mg Venlafaxine and 10mg amitriptyline which I get posted to me.
I missed the postman when it was meant to arrive and with the way the post has been I haven't been able to schedule a redelivery, I've tried going to the office to pick it up but it's closed due to staff shortages (stupid covid). The long and short of is it's been nearly three days since I had any meds.
I contacted my GP and a prescription should be ready by tomorrow evening for me go and pick up.
But I've just belatedly realised that the flu symptoms, anger, brain zaps, and panic attacks are a little out of the norm and I'm going through withdrawal. I've got work tomorrow and I can't sleep and feel really weird.
Anyone know what I can do to lift some of the symptoms for a bit? Or is this just a case of toughing it out until I get the meds?
Cheers | depression | null |
Hi, thanks for reading. I know this is not an advice sub but I desperately need some from a stranger. Any really.
(post below)
Not sure if I was sexually coerced abroad (19m), think I have an STD - may have passed it onto my girlfriend (20). Please help.
I'll just start with the fact that this is probably the most difficult thing that has happened to me in my life. I have had nightmares for two weeks since the event and I can't get any sleep; my daylight hours are consumed with guilt and I am seriously considering suicide. (Have written a note, and made a rough timeframe).
I was recently on holiday in Havana, and was searching for food alone around 1am, very intoxicated. For those who know Havana - there is a street where prostitutes hang out, unfortunately its one of the only places you can get a pizza that late. Here is where it gets blurry - I remember walking back to my apartment and being approached by three prostitutes. They brought me to someones bed (not mine) where i remember receiving fellatio (cant remember if there was a condom). I remember having an erection but being unable to finish. I barely remember getting home, but I still had my phone and wallet but when I checked in the morning my wallet was missing all its cash (around 60 euros).
I'm not sure it was not consensual. I did not report the event to police because i'm not sure 1) they would do anything 2) I have desperately tried to forget it ever happened. I love my girlfriend more than anyone in the world and tried to forget it happened but I cannot. She means so much to me and I'd never thought of cheating before but I just can't remember my thought process no matter how many times I relive it. I'm so scared that I consented. I know that I'm responsible for the actions of drunk me.
Recently my testicles have started itching more than usual and sometimes it stings slightly to pee (no redness). I have had sex with my girlfriend within the time I got back (with a condom vaginally, but not orally) as I didn't want her to know what happened and think I cheated. I feel really really awful knowing that I could have passed this disease on to her and all I want is for her to be alright. To me suicide seems like the only plausible way out, as I can't see myself living life without her and this will undoubtedly fundamentally change how she sees me.
I don't know what to do… Any advice would be appreciated, shit or not. | suicidal | null |
I was talking with someone recently. They were asking about my future career prospects, what I plan to do, etc. I mentioned that, actually, I want to keep doing jobs like the one I have currently. For context, I work a cleaning night shift job, and it's super straightforward, repetitive, and easy. It's leaps and bounds better than the previous customer service jobs I've done. It's probably the best job I've ever had; however, I have to be a student in order to keep the position, so once I graduate this upcoming fall, I have to find a new job. Anyway, back to the conversation. They replied by saying that I can't do jobs like that forever though, and I need to use my degree to get a better job. I've had many conversations like this in the past, and I used to lie and say I wanted to get a master's, and that I was going to do clinical mental health counseling. Everybody always admired that, and thought highly of me, but to be honest, I've never really fully seen myself actually doing that. I get confused though because I'm not sure if I don't want to do it, or I think I can't do it. My undergrad is psychology, and in theory, I do like the idea of helping people work through, and cope with, this far too often overwhelming life. But then I feel like I could never be qualified for that, and I have so many issues of my own that how could I ever help someone else?
I mean, my main issues with work always center around me worrying about everything. Each little detail, I worry that I might do it wrong, and then I'll be fired. For the customer service job, I would be so stressed the whole day before work (I had to work at like 3 pm most days) about what customers were gonna come in, and if any of them would yell at me that day. I still remember one guy that made me feel so shitty that I cried after work, and was terrified of him ever showing up again. The job I have presently is the best I've ever felt about work, but I still have times where I delve into catastrophic thinking, or believe that all my coworkers hate me. It is very exhausting at times, but at least the majority of times, I know exactly what to expect from that day of work, and there's hardly ever any surprises. So just hearing someone else talk about how I need to aim higher now, and get a better job, I don't know. It made me feel dumb I guess. I didn't want to divulge to them all the anxiety I feel toward working, so I just kind of nodded and agreed with them. Maybe someday I will get a more serious job, but I'm terrified of that right now. I view work as only a means to get money, and nothing else because I feel like it's impossible for me to ever feel content or relaxed in a work environment. If I could just crochet for a living, man sign me tf up.
I just wanted to write this up as a vent, and also idk, an homage to anyone else that struggles with work. It sucks so bad because you need money to live, no matter what mental state you're in. I just hope for anyone else that feels this way, and for myself too lol, that we can all find a job someday that feels ok. I'm not expecting an amazing job that makes me run out of bed every morning, and skip to work. But just a job that doesn't keep me up at night, or make me feel like an idiot. I also will be thinking about how badly it sucks to finally have a job that I, for the most part, can handle mentally and physically, but then to have someone else be like "yeah, but that's not enough. What's next?". Idk man, I just want to try and get as much peace as I can. My brain is always in high gear and working overtime. Yeah, I don't know if there's really a moral to this post haha. | anxiety | null |
I told everyone, that I have to go to the office tomorrow, but in reality I'm planning to end my life. I prepared everything, I just hope I don't survive somehow. It feels like a huge block of cement is lifted from my body. If I think about ending it, I can only smile and looking forward to it. But I still ask myself if that's the right decision. I know, I can't regret it but everyone will be devastated. I will destroy everyone's life. I don't know. I hate myself for wanting to do it. I'm so sorry mommy. I just feel sorry. I just couldn't handle that anymore. Thank you for everything. I love you. You have been the best mother I could imagine, I just couldn't tell you. I'm so sorry | suicidal | null |
Why can't I just not think about anything. I want to die but I'm scared to die but it'll ease my pain. I always say shit and do shit that I'll regret. I feel like I'm pushing everyone away. I thought I got better but I'm not. Why can't I be better?
Maybe I just want to disappear. | depression | null |
Considering switching from Lexapro to Fluoxetine due to weight gain that came from Lexapro. Advice? Tips? | anxiety | null |
I've always been somewhat socially anxious, but it's never incapacitating. Last week, I was at my freshman orientation for college, and the whole time my heart was pounding and I thought I was going to throw up. This went on for the whole 2 day event. Nothing like that has ever happened before.
On top of that, I've noticed over the last few weeks that I haven't been sleeping well. I keep a good sleep routine, but I have trouble falling asleep and I think it's due to anxiety/overthinking.
What could be contributing to this and what should I do to address it?
**For context, I'm a healthy 18yo M with no significant problems that I should be worrying about. | anxiety | null |
Im only in high school i think about suicide every time im in the bus to home before school i think if i should skip and try to end it somehow at school i constantly wish i was dead.
Almost every day and night i have times where i just lay in my bed and have this awful terrifying feeling of fear. The worst is i know there is someone who could easily ease it by just being around but they wont care. Its such a prison. I dont know if i would be able to do it if i got to it but i constantly think of methods how to do, i wanted to order a sharp knife but i dont think im old enough. i never asked to be born or have a consciousness.
I have parents who care about me and a brother. Dont really have any friends who would actually be affected if i died. Except 1 online. Im scared. I dont know if i got to it where i have to cut myself i would be able to fully do it but i think i would get to that point and probably damage myself. I dont think i would have the strenght to keep going till im fully dead.
Why cant it end now. I know i will probably keep living like this forever. Why do i have to be here. | suicidal | null |
i want to document the last week of my life. today i did nothing at all. i felt like a total vegetable | depression | null |
Okay so I do have a lot of problems that i should talk about with professional's like about my separation Anxiety, Depression, Suicidal thoughts and so on but i have had bad experience with therapists were they said that they wont tell anyone but ended up telling people and now i just don't feel like i can talk to people about my problems, ever since that happened i just talk about being sad and stressed but there is more to it…i just don't have the trust in people to tell them everything, i want to kill myself for so long and was way to close way more often than i like to admit so now im just struggling with that and the stress of school and i never thought i would get to my age with all these problems so i never made plans for my future cause i always had the mindset that i k myself before getting too old… i never actually did it cause im to scared too but anytime i see a car drive by or look down a bridge, my stomach hurts and i imagine thats a bit of the pain i would feel, i always just say its getting better but it never is….anyone got some tips? Maybe how i can trust people again or where i should start? | depression | null |
I was prescribed 5mg Lexapro for GAD and mild OCD with instructions to increase to 10mg after one week. I would describe my anxiety as moderate.
I can wake up and get out of bed, most of the eating problems I used to have (eating very infrequently) are gone, and I can perform day to day activities. However, I feel extremely anxious and worried while doing so. My mind is in constant loops and I can never relax, even while on vacation or while doing something relaxing. I have also been in therapy for 10+ years and it feels like this is as far as I'm going to get with it.
Would an SSRI be too strong for someone like me? Are they usually only effective for those with crippling or life interfering anxiety? | anxiety | null |
I'm a fucking awful person. I've got no redeeming qualities. I'm selfish, I'm cruel, I'm annoying, and I'm pessimistic.
I don't know how nobody's flipped on me yet, I don't know how I haven't flipped on anyone yet.
I'm slowly drifting away from all of my friends and I know it. Any time I do anything, they're always so quick to bully and berate me. It's not even teasing at this point, it's beyond that. And I'm sick of it.
I've been told it only gets better, but the more time goes on the more I doubt that. I've completely fucked up my mind voluntarily by just going cold turkey on my medication, and I don't blame myself.
I'm sick of everything. I know I'm not gonna amount to anything. I've heard my parents say it, it's pretty obvious.
“At least we've got her brother, he's the smart one.” I'm so tired of it. I'm just done. Sure, it's true, but it's pretty goddamn tiring to constantly hear it from the two people who are supposed to support you no matter what.
No matter what I seem to do I'll never be good enough. Wrote a book at 13? Cool. Spent 6 months writing a full play? That's nice, honey. Got the lead part in the show? Who the hell cares. It's just the same thing over and over again.
And the worst part? I don't blame them. I'd be saying the same things if I had myself as a daughter.
I'm a TERRIBLE person. I almost drove a kid to suicide because of sheer pettiness. I completely ruined a life because he pissed me off. He's okay, thank god, but I ruined his life for a while. I managed to turn all of his friends against him. I don't think I'll ever be able to forgive myself for that. I shouldn't be able to forgive myself for that, it was an awful thing. I deserve the guilt. I deserve to not be able to sleep at night. I deserve to have to live with what I did.
I tried to kill myself about 2 months after that incident. I was too scared to actually slit my wrists, so I decided to starve myself. 3 and a half days without food. I stopped about 2 days in, because I was a goddamn coward. My family knows that I starved myself, but they don't know why. They don't know the real reason.
That incident ruined my metabolism. I've started starving myself again, in shorter intervals, because of how much weight I gained after it happened. I hate my body and I hate myself for causing it.
That's not the only unhealthy coping mechanism I engage in, though! There's also cutting. I cut myself quite a bit as a 12 year old, and I broke my 2 year streak a few weeks ago. I didn't have access to a razor for the past 3 weeks, but I would've cut if I could have.
I am wearing hoodies in 100 degree weather. I never wear hoodies. Nobody notices, nobody cares.
The only healthy coping mechanism I have is listening to music, but that can only do so much. I am worried I'll hurt myself, or that I'll finally snap at my friends and make everyone hate me.
Sorry that this was long, I just needed to get this off of my chest. | depression | null |
Why can I hate myself over so little. Recently I rejected this girl and I feel terribly guilty for it. She was really nice and I would have liked to reciprocate her feelings but i couldn't. I feel like this shouldn't be a big deal, yet I can just imagine myself just shooting my brains out. At the same time I feel embarrassed for wanting to die over something so menial. However that very embarrassment makes me want to die even more. That said, I don't think I could follow through with these thoughts. I've been in that place and I know it would take a lot more for me to really tread that edge but still. The fact that I feel this strongly over something so menial makes me worried. What if something actually life changing and terrible were to happen. Is this a sign that I'm so weak that I could break at any moment? I mean I hardly even knew this girl. We went on single date. Yet here I am the day after. Not eating, not getting out of bed, thinking about suicide. WTF. Maybe it's just a habit of the mind. My brain wanting to reach for these dark thoughts that used to have iron grip on my psyche. I don't know. I'll probably be okay tomorrow. I just can feel in my heart that if something truly horrible were to happen I would easily reach for the knife again. I've done it. I've done it during times where I thought I had beat my depression. Then one horrible thing happen and i immediately went for self-harm. So stupid | depression | null |
It hasn't even been a day since I was fired, and I already feel like I'm back to square one. Loneliness and low self-esteem never left me, but work was distracting me from these feelings. But from now on I will have to go back to the old routine of wasting my days doing nothing, feeling sad all the time, alone, with nothing but negative thoughts keeping me company. I have to go back to feeling useless and having to depend on my mother financially, and feeling afraid of adapting to a new work environment and meeting new people. There was a coworker I was interested in, but I'm so pathetic I didn't even have the courage to say goodbye to him, and now I'm regretting it so much. I know my life isn't over because of this, but depression makes it feel like it's. I hate getting out of the rut, I don't want to start all over again. | depression | null |
Hi everyone, does anybody get really bad anxiety in public places (restaurants, grocery store, etc) or when driving? I literally start feeling like I'm about to pass out. I had this one time at HEB where I was completely fine, and I went to an area where it felt hot, so that made me get anxious… and I started to get dizzy (with my heart pounding) and started walking to the front of the store with my cart. I handed it to the lady and I said I don't feel good and went to the bathroom to put cold water. 😩 That was the last time I went to the grocery store by myself | anxiety | null |
I'm not even sure if my mom is. At night (when I have sleep issues mostly) we argue but at day we get along. My friends and I are having issues and they don't see how rude my other “friend” is who's made tons of insulting comments regarding another friend and another friend of mines relationship (like “go f* ur bf”) and has ruined my life at times (making all my other friends unfriend me years ago. Yet my friends tell me to get over it. Yet it's still affecting me socially today). My friends dont even know about my issues. And my abusive dad doesn't help either. Threating to hit me and such (has stopped since 2020). And the fact I'm trans and won't be female entirely.. and im probably sick because of how tired I constantly am (not even depressed like tired just unhealthy)…. I hate life. | suicidal | null |
and my life was stolen from me by anxiety. I haven't barely ever felt good since December of 2018. It started with an "allergic reaction" that was really just a panic attack and my life has been extremely difficult ever since. I want to make it clear that I am not severely depressed or anything. I'm just sick of it. I can barely leave the house. I can barely do anything. I'm behind in everything. I've been on 3 medications and they've all done nothing. Sometimes it feels like I'm never gonna be the person I once was. I had so many aspirations, all destroyed by anxiety. I have a crippling fear of panic attacks. I don't even drive so exposure is so hard. Even if I could drive I cant bring myself to improve. I'm so tired all day, I literally do NOTHING all day. And I'm still tired. Oh and by the way I sleep like 11 hours a night and wake up at 4 pm. It's awful. But I have nothing to do anyway, so what's the reason to wake up? My anxiety is worse in the morning anyway. I miss my old life. I miss when I didn't know what anxiety was. I miss not knowing what a panic attack felt like. I miss having a life and friends. Meds haven't worked, I've been in therapy for a while and it has yet to do anything. I have no discipline. This is my rock bottom. How can I get better? I cant stop avoiding what makes me anxious. I would love some advice on how to get better. I feel like I just need a plan. But I probably wont stick to it anyway. It's so hard. Thanks for reading my vent. | anxiety | null |
I am on my phone alllll the time constantly checking apps for messages or updates. Spending like 6 hours a day mindlessly scrolling through apps. There are so many other things I'd like to do like read a book, watch some movies or make a DJ mix. But I feel too depressed to make any effort to get off my phone. But at the same time I hate how much I'm on my phone! UGH. Any advice? | depression | null |
My therapist and I were talking about thought errors and I've found that I've labeled life as "pointless".
She asked if life is really pointless though, and unfortunately....I really believe mine is pointless. I honestly believe I don't have anything to really live for right now despite trying.
I've been holding on knowing things can change, and knowing I had a point in time where I was pretty happy with things, but it's tough. Past experiences with relationships, trying to get dream jobs, moving out, etc have really pushed my self esteem down and made my brain solidify this thought that it's just "pointless." | depression | null |
So many people that I grow with they don't want anything to do with me
I know so many people from my childhood that I go up with they don't want anything to do with me I am 29 years old and I have been living in the same town all my life I know so many people from my childhood and they don't want anything to do with me why is this I have ADHD and so many problem I have tried to reach out to people and everyone that I know are getting married so many girls that I grow up there marrying the best friends keep in mind that I know these people for years and years and years we went to the same church together we went to the same school together we grow up in the same neighborhood together So many people that I know they are blocking me from social media I have been depressed now for almost 11 years and honestly I don't know why people have been ignoring me I have been dealing with depression now fenced the age of 12 you're talking about years in years of depression every time when I go outside I feel depressed nobody wants to be my friend nobody likes me nobody wants to end out with me maybe I have something to do with my disabilities I have tried letting people in my life but nobody wants anything to do with me | depression | null |
never fucking asked to be here and I spend every minute of every day wishing I didn't exist and it's been this way for over 10 years | suicidal | null |
I first time used this formula when my depression began subconciously. Now I use it everyday and I can not stop. A lot of things don't get any result because I get angry over the smallest things and my mind makes a life devastating conclusion, if I don't correct the thing. I guess that is my way of coping with things to not become a totally mad person. My brain is so slow nowadays I don't know how I am gonna start functioning in school tommorow.
Thought today was a good day when I started with a shower, I guess at the end of the day all stays the same. | depression | null |
Im undiagnosed Aspergers he says he has aspergers, too. I told him abput my abuse story lazt night and he didnt even pause the tv when he replied. Tonight he says thats adults are boring because they talk about their Ex and Abuse. Like wtf is that meant to mean. Also im all alone on New years. That sucks ive had two oppurtinitys to hang out that were cancelled and my father was drunk on chrismas and he and my grandfather were gaslghting me for beung autistic and being gay. This is the lowest ive felt all for all year and im considering breaking up now. Hes nice, sure but idk amymore people are hard to understand and i have trust issues from highschool exclusion and bullying from my friends at the time. Thought about slicing my jugular with a knife. Ive never cut before but things are just too intense for me rn. | depression | null |
I had a few very awful moments in hospitals and as I result, going to clinics and hospitals triggers my anxiety.
These days I've been having a few small health issues and these issues together are a bit overwhelming. I haven't been able to work for a few weeks now.
I find it hard to always have to fight to obtain health care. It's always at the very end when things gets completely painful and damaging that I managed to obtain some help.
Now I'm super anxious doubting myself, wondering if I truly am not feeling well… even though I saw my test results. I have been told trivially so many times to just “take the pills that makes my stomach hurts like hell” another time like there weren't any other solutions available…
I mean, it could have been resolved long ago easily had someone listened to what I was saying… it would have just been a minor problem that would have been easy to fix.
I just want to feel better and go back to work… | anxiety | null |
New poster here. I'm at the end of my rope. I'm 42 and have battled my mind my entire life. I recently left my emotionally abusive ex. I was financially dependent on him as I was staying home to care for his mother with Alzheimer's, when I left he emptied my account of all the money he had put into it for caring for her. It's now 5 months later and I still haven't found a job, I've sold anything I have of value and and I've been off my meds for 6 weeks now. I will never do anything to hurt myself but I'm wishing I could. I'm hungry and isolated and scared. I could really use some words of encouragement from people who understand what it's like to constantly fight your own mind. I hope you all are having an amazing day and if you aren't I hope you're at least still able to find a silver lining, no matter how small it is. 🫶🏼 | depression | null |
I'm Just fucking depressed. I won't even go into the FULL sob story of a childhood I had just know both my parents left due to drugs blah blah blah and I have struggled to make it. I ended up putting myself through college and within that time, finding a way to build a relationship with my typical gen x parents who did nothing wrong (besides smoking meth all day and leaving their kids with various family members who did not fucking want them there- but that's besides the point) ANYWAYS, fast forward and I have a college degree and get married to a man I'm IN LOVE with but he knows nothing about depression/anxiety. I'm constantly met with “just do this/that” “just stop having anxiety” “just stop being depressed” like? Uhhh…. I wish I could, I really wish I could. He's a great guy otherwise but we recently had to move super far from the place I call home due to his job and my depression has worsened while his remarks have not changed and he constantly plays the victim when I express how I feel- even if it has nothing to do with him.
Im sorry i know this all seems out of thread but moral of my story is I can't shake the feeling that I shouldn't be here. I just feel useless and hopeless. And when I've tried to explain to him my anxiety and depression he reminds me he came from a third world country and I have no trauma compared to him leaving his home.
It's a constant trauma competition and I always lose bc i give up- I don't feel the need to glorify my trauma.
My family adores him and sees nothing but the great side of him (bc that's what I choose to share) when I see the reality and am constantly being put down by him AND HIS BITCH OF A MOM and being compared to.
I just feel helpless and hopeless- I've worked so hard to get away from negative people in my life. I became a confident and successful young woman and he tore that down, no matter how much I remind myself of who I was- I will never be. I am severely depressed and have the means. I just don't care any more- nothing anyone says or does will help. | suicidal | null |
Idk. I've struggled with depression for awhile and my parents are constantly reminding me of how good I have things, and my dad talks about how his parents used to abuse him and how his parents were horrible to him. I feel like I haven't even been through that much. Sometimes I just want something bad to happen to me so I can have a reason to be depressed because maybe if there's a reason there could be a way things can get better, and I dont know if that even makes sense. My parents treat me like they give me everything in the world but all I want is for them to accept me and care about the things I have to say. Maybe i would actually tell them things if they didn't downplay all of my emotions. They make me feel like I shouldn't be depressed | depression | null |
If I am not expecting a loud noise and then all of sudden it comes out of nowhere, it instantly fills me with anger.
Sometimes it's mild and I get over it quick, but sometimes it affects me for hours afterwards. | anxiety | null |
Feel like everything just needs to stop. I'm only 24; lost custody of my 8 year old two years ago due to domestic abuse and I feel like I've lost myself. It's 17.26 and I'm already in bed cause I have nothing better to do; he was the reason I got up in the morning, I was sociable, I went out, we played I worked and went to school. Now I have nothing and do nothing; I don't know what to do with myself. I've just had enough | depression | null |
the only thing my simple brain can do on a consistent basis: write endless posts about suicide and depression.
that's all i'm effective at communicating while i exist. | depression | null |
I have been feeling weird lately about suicide and all of that stuff, whenever something really good happens to me or other people I care about, I have this random urge to kill myself, I never have been depressed or even suicidal before, and don't feel sad tbh, I just have that urge to end it all in moments that I truly feel happy, can anyone help me with this? | depression | null |
I don't want to live like this anymore. It's been a torturous life not being able to get myself to do the things I know I need to get done. I hate not being able to just DO IT. No one understands it. I'm just a stupid fucking loser to everyone. Lazy. Always taking the easy way out. Well, then fuck it. I'm taking the easy way out. I want to die so bad. There is no compassion in the world for people like me. Just labeled lazy and unmotivated. It's all my fault for being born with fucked up executive functioning. I'm worthless to the world. | suicidal | null |
any advice .......? | anxiety | null |
If you're reading this, please help us.
I'm Tran, I lived in Vietnam. In 2020 we opened a small coffee shop. Then we are forced to closed it in late of 2020 due to covid 19. Now we've have to pay the dept cost 15.000 dollars. We can't take it anymore. They're keep coming to our house every day and forced us to give out monney. But we don't have it, I'm working 12 hours each day and my sister do it too. We're still can't afford it. Please help us. Even one dollars can make it better for us. It's Luna New Year coming. Please help us to get a better New Year. Thank for reading.
God Bless You | depression | null |
Recently I turned 18(m) and I keep getting sick from all this pressure I've been putting on myself. I mean my birthday wasn't to great I mean my dad belittled me because I said I wanted to stay with my mom till I was able to move out my now ex broke up with me 2 days after (I will say why if needed but it's not important anymore) the next week I was just belittled more by my father and my mother for being a wuss and not just talking to him plus so much more crap id rather not talk about. So this month has sucked in terms of the month I turned 18 but to get to the point of my title I haven't felt whole in at least 7 years I constantly felt pressure to be the best because of my siblings and it just kept getting harder to keep up as they got older, I always thought this anxiety would get better over time but it just keeps getting worse and worse like right now as I'm writing this I'm honestly crying my eyes out, I don't get why nor do I think it really matters anymore I hate myself so much and I wish I could talk to someone about it but every time I do it just ends up being a horrible decision I probably shouldn't post thus but I don't care anymore it's about time I just listened to people say what they want I know what I'm saying isn't special because so many people deal with it but I can't and at this point I can't find a reason to keep fighting myself I'm not suicidal nor do I physically hurt myself but I can't keep wanting to I can't keep myself in check anymore I'm gonna break soon I can feel it. | depression | null |
i'm so done with everything. i am tired. i'm done. i have been thinking about many ways to kms but i think my plan's ready now. just not sure when i'll do it, maybe tomorrow? | suicidal | null |
Title pretty much says it. I read my girlfriend to sleep over the phone (we don't live together) and now is one of my least favourite parts of the day. Idk what to do. Who to talk to. I can't get to sleep because I struggle to fall asleep, it will probably be a couple more hours before I can. What can I do? | depression | null |
ok first of all I'm () I've never been to therapy before and I'm not even sure if i have depression or it's just a burnout or something like that but i know i have a problem so..
will therapy really help me then? I've seen a lot of people say that therapy didn't help .. so i wanted to know what the majority thinks | depression | null |
My dad just yelled at me for not wanting to drive 100kms to do nothing... Like, damn, I'm already stressed with school, family, and MOVING... but ok, put more on my shoulders, make me feel like a failure even more... THANKS DAD | depression | null |
There is a fast moving river less than 5min from my apartment that will take me out to sea. | depression | null |
There's this woman, I love her more than any words could ever encompass. I had a chance with her and I blew it, she gave me a second chance and I wasn't ready mentally or emotionally but I was so close. However at this point she's pulled away and I think I've lost her.
We talked about twin flames before, we believe we are for each other, and she's been the only person in my life to ever give me true happiness and joy. I can't live without her, but I feel like without any chance of being hers the pain will just grow until I'm a shell of myself.
I don't know what to do, I feel so empty and worthless. I had her, I had everything and I blew it. Please someone, anyone, just give me something. I can't take this anymore. | depression | null |
If i try to kill myself and stop halfway does it count as sh or suicide attempt? | depression | null |
Im actually sorry for all of you people who are still visiting this reddit daily much love <3 | depression | null |
I experience random chest pains/tightness on and off throughout the day and it's so frustrating. I also get random pangs of pain in my stomach and rib cramps (which I think is a separate issue because I have a rib that sort of pops on its own).
None of it is unbearable. But it just sends my health anxiety through the roof and I really have to restrain from looking up symptoms. But regardless, is it possible to feel literal pains because of anxiety? | anxiety | null |
I'm planning on killing myself but don't know if I should quit the job I like to protect my coworkers and clients. It'll probably force me to do it as well, but what if I change my mind? | suicidal | null |
I'm battling really bad depression, anxiety, ADHD, and I believe bipolar disorder. I need help and I'm working on it. This is obvi not an excuse.
My puppy is almost a year old and sometimes I am extremely mean to her when I'm overwhelmed/triggered/angry. I don't want to hurt her anymore. I'm scared. She's scared of me. I want to rehome her to keep her safe but there are a lot of people (my fiancée and family) around me who will question it. I only care about her safety at this point. I don't trust myself around her anymore.
Are there any safe places to leave your pet? Or, do you have any advice on how to quickly and anonymously rehome her? How can I stop being a POS and harming my dog? I don't have kids and at this point I wonder if I ever would deserve them. | depression | null |
End of preview.
🧠 Mental Health Posts Dataset
This dataset is curated for mental health emotion classification tasks. It originates from the Counsel Chat Dataset available on Kaggle and has been preprocessed and restructured to suit NLP-based classification models.
📄 Overview
The dataset is designed to support the training and evaluation of models that classify user-generated mental health posts into one of the following categories:
depressionanxietysuicidaladdictioneating_disorder
These categories represent primary mental health concerns commonly discussed in therapy or support communities.
📁 Files and Structure
✅ /trainingData/final_sampled_dataset.csv
- Source: Combined 20% samples from five individual emotion category files (from Kaggle).
- Columns:
posts: The actual text content of the mental health post.main_label: The main category label for classification.sub_label: A finer-grained label, not used in this version of the model.
✅ /testingData/final_dataset2.csv
- Source: Posts collected from Reddit-like sources used as a separate test set.
- Columns:
selftext: The post content.subreddit: The subreddit name used as a proxy label (e.g.,depression,anxiety, etc.).
🛠️ Construction Details
- 20% data was sampled from each category file of the Counsel Chat Dataset.
- Merged into a unified format for training.
- Testing data was kept separate to ensure generalization from a different distribution.
🔍 Use Cases
This dataset supports:
- Emotion classification model training.
- Mental health support system simulations.
- Research on text-based diagnostic AI in psychology.
📜 Source
- Original Dataset: Counsel Chat Dataset on Kaggle
- Author: Noobie314
- License: Educational & Research Use Only. Respect original Kaggle dataset licensing terms.
🤝 Citation
@misc{mentalhealthdataset2025,
author = {Noobie314},
title = {Mental Health Posts Dataset},
year = {2025},
url = {https://huggingface.co/datasets/Noobie314/mental-health-posts-dataset}
}
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