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122 | null | — Жена, я вечерком с друзьями пивка выпью?
— Да иди пей, алкаш!
— Какой алкаш, я раз в полгода с ними встречаюсь?!
— Ленивый алкаш! | https://t.me/smeh_76/197?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/smeh_76 | 507 | 0 | 1,672,416,117 | 1,732,740,612 | 4,577 | 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| null | NEUTRAL | rus | NOT SPAM | 26 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 3 | 3 | 0 | 9 | 0 | 12 | true |
122 | null | Заходит клиент в бар. А у него обе руки сломаны и в гипсе. Подходит к бармену:
— Вы не могли бы достать из моего кармана деньги на пиво? У меня руки сломаны…
— Да, конечно…
— Будьте добры, поднесите бокал к моим губам, чтобы я мог выпить?
— Да, конечно…
И вот после нескольких бокалов:
— Вы не подскажете, где тут туалет?
— Да, конечно, через пару кварталов отсюда, на заправке… | https://t.me/smeh_76/198?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/smeh_76 | 496 | 0 | 1,672,423,318 | 1,732,740,612 | 4,577 | 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| null | NEUTRAL | rus | NOT SPAM | 71 | 0 | 3 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 10 | 5 | 2 | 17 | 6 | 25 | true |
122 | null | Встречаются два грузина. Первый:
— Э, Гиви, ти мужчина или малчик?
— Как это?
— Ну, если с женщынами спишь, значит мужчина!
— Слушай Гиви, разве с ними заснёшь? Пиши мальчик!!! | https://t.me/smeh_76/199?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/smeh_76 | 490 | 0 | 1,672,426,919 | 1,732,740,612 | 4,577 | 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| [{"ner":"Гиви","lemma":"гиви","label":"PER","start_pos":38,"end_pos":42},{"ner":"Слушай Гиви","lemma":"слушай гиви","label":"PER","start_pos":126,"end_pos":137}] | NEUTRAL | rus | NOT SPAM | 31 | 0 | 1 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 4 | 2 | 1 | 8 | 0 | 18 | true |
122 | null | В кабинет психолога заходит пациент и говорит:
— Доктор, у меня серьёзная проблема. Устаю очень.
— Почему? — спрашивает врач.
— Мне каждую ночь снится один и тот же сон: первую половину ночи я толкаю поезд Одесса Жмеринка, вторую — Жмеринка-Одесса.
— Ну представьте, что вторую половину ночи поезд Жмеринка-Одесса толкаю я.
— Ой спасибо, доктор, уже легче стало.
Заходит другой пациент.
— Доктор, я так мучаюсь. Первую половину ночи мне снится, что я занимаюсь ceксом с блондинкой, а вторую с брюнеткой. Устаю очень.
— Ну, представьте, — говорит доктор, — что первую половину ночи с блондинкой сплю я.
Больной:
— А блондинка симпатичнее. Нельзя ли поменяться?
Врач:
— Никак нельзя. Вторую половину ночи я толкаю поезд Жмеринка-Одесса | https://t.me/smeh_76/200?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/smeh_76 | 485 | 0 | 1,672,466,519 | 1,732,740,612 | 4,577 | 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| [{"ner":"Устаю","lemma":"уставать","label":"LOC","start_pos":84,"end_pos":89},{"ner":"Одесса Жмеринка","lemma":"одесса жмеринка","label":"PER","start_pos":206,"end_pos":221},{"ner":"Жмеринка-Одесса","lemma":"жмеринка-одесса","label":"LOC","start_pos":232,"end_pos":247},{"ner":"Жмеринка-Одесса","lemma":"жмеринка-одесса","label":"ORG","start_pos":298,"end_pos":313},{"ner":"Устаю","lemma":"уставать","label":"LOC","start_pos":504,"end_pos":509},{"ner":"Жмеринка-Одесса","lemma":"жмеринка-одесса","label":"ORG","start_pos":718,"end_pos":733}] | NEUTRAL | rus | NOT SPAM | 118 | 0 | 2 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 10 | 19 | 9 | 0 | 33 | 9 | 43 | true |
122 | null | Следующим президентом станет человек, который пообещает сделать коротким рабочим днем день, СЛЕДУЮЩИЙ за праздниками. Причем день этот будет не заканчиваться на час раньше, а начинаться на два часа позже. | https://t.me/smeh_76/201?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/smeh_76 | 468 | 0 | 1,672,473,720 | 1,732,740,612 | 4,577 | 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| [{"ner":"СЛЕДУЮЩИЙ","lemma":"следующий","label":"ORG","start_pos":92,"end_pos":101}] | NEUTRAL | rus | NOT SPAM | 29 | 0 | 1 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 3 | 5 | 1 | 1 | 8 | 2 | 5 | true |
122 | null | Человек, у которого в этом году сбылось новогоднее желание: "Хех, вот бы дома сидеть, на работу не ходить! " - только попробуй загадать сейчас что-нибудь в духе: "Хочу, чтоб всё это кончилось! " Не спеши, посиди, покрути варианты, поработай над формулировкой, пожалуйста. | https://t.me/smeh_76/189?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/smeh_76 | 526 | 0 | 1,672,380,112 | 1,732,740,613 | 4,577 | 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| null | NEUTRAL | rus | NOT SPAM | 42 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 2 | 9 | 5 | 0 | 9 | 3 | 17 | true |
122 | null | Тараканы могут выжить при ядерной войне, а от удара газетой — не могут. Это доказывает, насколько опасны современные
СМИ. | https://t.me/smeh_76/190?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/smeh_76 | 573 | 0 | 1,672,387,313 | 1,732,740,613 | 4,577 | 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| [{"ner":"СМИ","lemma":"сми","label":"ORG","start_pos":117,"end_pos":120}] | NEUTRAL | rus | NOT SPAM | 19 | 0 | 1 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 3 | 4 | 1 | 0 | 5 | 1 | 5 | true |
122 | null | Приглашает меня одна дама розетку починить и говорит: — расплата натурой. Вот я думаю, где же меня обманули? Она получает удовлетворение от ceкcа и от хорошей розетки, а я, блин, тр@хаюсь и с ней, и с розеткой...?? | https://t.me/smeh_76/191?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/smeh_76 | 524 | 0 | 1,672,390,914 | 1,732,740,613 | 4,577 | 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| null | NEGATIVE | rus | NOT SPAM | 37 | 0 | 0 | 0.979167 | 0.020833 | 0 | 1 | 6 | 6 | 1 | 7 | 1 | 12 | true |
122 | null | Встреча Медведева с труженниками Автоваза.
Вопрос от рабочего: Дмитрий Анатольевич, а о чём вы мечтаете?
— Больше всего я мечтаю улететь на Марс!
Рабочий: — Я тоже.
— Как здорово, что мы вместе мечтаем улететь на Марс!
— Не совсем так, Дмитрий Анатольевич. Мы вместе мечтаем, чтобы вы улетели на Марс...? | https://t.me/smeh_76/193?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/smeh_76 | 511 | 0 | 1,672,398,114 | 1,732,740,613 | 4,577 | 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122 | null | Мадам Цигельберг поздравляет соседку с днем рождения:
— Софочка, красоты тебе, любви, денег, ума! А все остальное у тебя уже есть! | https://t.me/smeh_76/194?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/smeh_76 | 499 | 0 | 1,672,401,715 | 1,732,740,613 | 4,577 | 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| [{"ner":"Мадам Цигельберг","lemma":"мадам цигельберг","label":"PER","start_pos":0,"end_pos":16}] | POSITIVE | rus | NOT SPAM | 21 | 0 | 1 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 2 | 2 | 0 | 7 | 1 | 8 | true |
122 | null | По парку прогуливаются дедушка, его внучка и собачка. Собачка постоянно лает. Внучка спрашивает дедушку:
— Дедушка, а наша Жучка с@ка?
Дедушка в ужасе, но все таки отвечает:
— Да
— Дедушка, а ты тр@хни ее, она и замолчит!
— Внученька, да откуда ты такие слова то знаешь?
— А я сегодня утром слышала, как папа сказал маме: Тебя, с@ку, если утром не тр@хнуть, весь день гавкать будешь. | https://t.me/smeh_76/195?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/smeh_76 | 504 | 0 | 1,672,408,916 | 1,732,740,613 | 4,577 | 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| [{"ner":"Внученька","lemma":"внученька","label":"PER","start_pos":224,"end_pos":233}] | NEUTRAL | rus | NOT SPAM | 67 | 0 | 1 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 10 | 9 | 0 | 18 | 4 | 24 | true |
122 | null | Мужику подарили попугая. Дорогого, красивого.
Но: ругается очень.
— И жена твоя, и теща твоя, и сам ты, хозяин: трам-тарам-тарам!
Мужик уговаривал-уговаривал, клетку накрывал — никакого сладу с попугаем нет. Подумал — и засунул его в холодильник. Минут десять продолжались стук и жуткие ругательства, и вдруг — тишина.
Мужик открывает дверцу — из холодильника попугай тихо:
— Извините, был неправ, страшно раскаиваюсь, и жена ваша, и теща, и вы сами чудесные люди, не разобрался, ПРОСТИТЕ!!!
Мужик, растроганно:
— Ну ладно, с кем не бывает, забудь!
Попугай, ещё тише:
— Простите, а можно вопросик? А ЧТО ВАМ КУРИЦА СДЕЛАЛА?!? | https://t.me/smeh_76/184?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/smeh_76 | 581 | 0 | 1,672,322,507 | 1,732,740,614 | 4,584 | 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| [{"ner":"Дорогого","lemma":"дорогой","label":"PER","start_pos":25,"end_pos":33},{"ner":"Мужик","lemma":"мужик","label":"PER","start_pos":130,"end_pos":135}] | NEUTRAL | rus | NOT SPAM | 98 | 0 | 7 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 11 | 16 | 4 | 1 | 29 | 5 | 46 | true |
122 | null | Пришел мужик в ceкс-шоп купить надувную бабу. Продавец подобрал ему самую навороченную: из латекса, девственница с вибратором, в общем — полный фарш. Ушел мужик довольный.
На следующий день приносит:
— вот чек, упаковка примите назад
— а что внешность не нравится?
— да нет, очень нравится
— девственница?
— да
— ну а в чем тогда дело?
— НЕ ДАЛА! | https://t.me/smeh_76/186?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/smeh_76 | 535 | 0 | 1,672,329,709 | 1,732,740,614 | 4,584 | 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| null | NEUTRAL | rus | NOT SPAM | 60 | 0 | 2 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 7 | 8 | 2 | 0 | 16 | 3 | 21 | true |
122 | null | — На чём будет работать экологичный транспорт будущего?
— На воде и траве.
— И как будет работать такая техника?
— Запрягаешь в телегу кобылу... | https://t.me/smeh_76/187?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/smeh_76 | 532 | 0 | 1,672,336,910 | 1,732,740,614 | 4,577 | 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| null | NEUTRAL | rus | NOT SPAM | 25 | 0 | 1 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 3 | 0 | 0 | 8 | 1 | 8 | true |
122 | null | 4 и 11 ноября у России и Польши национальные праздники.
Это две единственные страны в мире, которые обе празднуют освобождение одна от другой. | https://t.me/smeh_76/188?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/smeh_76 | 552 | 0 | 1,672,340,511 | 1,732,740,614 | 4,577 | 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| [{"ner":"России","lemma":"россия","label":"LOC","start_pos":16,"end_pos":22},{"ner":"Польши","lemma":"польша","label":"LOC","start_pos":25,"end_pos":31},{"ner":"11 ноября","lemma":"11 ноября","label":"DATE","start_pos":4,"end_pos":13},{"ner":"4","lemma":"4","label":"NUM","start_pos":0,"end_pos":1}] | NEUTRAL | rus | NOT SPAM | 23 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 3 | 1 | 2 | 5 | 5 | 0 | 3 | true |
122 | null | Дочь звонит матери и жалуется:
— Мама, этот неблагодарный муж опять не хочет есть гречку!
— Доченька, а ты расскажи ему, как ты старалась, когда её варила!
— Оп-паньки, так её варить надо??!.. | https://t.me/smeh_76/176?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/smeh_76 | 959 | 0 | 1,672,243,302 | 1,732,740,615 | 4,584 | 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| null | NEUTRAL | rus | NOT SPAM | 33 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 8 | 4 | 0 | 6 | 4 | 15 | true |
122 | null | У 500 женщин спросили, чей поцелуй слаще, мужа или любовника. 300 ответили, что мужа, а 200 женщин ответили, что любовника. Но ни одна не ответила
"Не знаю". | https://t.me/smeh_76/177?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/smeh_76 | 595 | 0 | 1,672,250,502 | 1,732,740,615 | 4,584 | 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| [{"ner":"500","lemma":"500","label":"NUM","start_pos":2,"end_pos":5},{"ner":"300","lemma":"300","label":"NUM","start_pos":62,"end_pos":65},{"ner":"200","lemma":"200","label":"NUM","start_pos":88,"end_pos":91}] | NEUTRAL | rus | NOT SPAM | 27 | 0 | 1 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 5 | 0 | 4 | 7 | 1 | 10 | true |
122 | null | По ящику показывают свадьбу Галкина и Пугачёвой. Когда новобрачные шли под руку, было ощущение, что он бабушку через дорогу переводит. | https://t.me/smeh_76/178?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/smeh_76 | 573 | 0 | 1,672,254,103 | 1,732,740,615 | 4,584 | 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| [{"ner":"Галкина","lemma":"галкин","label":"PER","start_pos":28,"end_pos":35},{"ner":"Пугачёвой","lemma":"пугачёв","label":"PER","start_pos":38,"end_pos":47}] | NEUTRAL | rus | NOT SPAM | 20 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 4 | 1 | 0 | 6 | 0 | 4 | true |
122 | null | Авария. Врезается Тойота в крутой мерс, стоящий на перекрестке. Из мерса вылазят двое мощных новых русских, вытаскивают мужика из Тойоты и начинают его бить. Тот орет:
— Мужики, это же Тойота!
Те продолжают усердно бить. Он опять:
— Ну пацаны, это же Тойота!
Ноль внимания. Он опять, уже изнемогая:
— Мужики, это же Тойота...
Успокоившись, новые русские ему в ответ:
— Ну и что?
— Как что? водитель-то справа! | https://t.me/smeh_76/179?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/smeh_76 | 563 | 0 | 1,672,293,704 | 1,732,740,615 | 4,584 | 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| [{"ner":"Тойота","lemma":"тойота","label":"PER","start_pos":18,"end_pos":24},{"ner":"Тойоты","lemma":"тойота","label":"LOC","start_pos":130,"end_pos":136},{"ner":"Тойота","lemma":"тойота","label":"PER","start_pos":185,"end_pos":191},{"ner":"Тойота","lemma":"тойота","label":"PER","start_pos":251,"end_pos":257},{"ner":"Тойота","lemma":"тойота","label":"PER","start_pos":316,"end_pos":322}] | NEUTRAL | rus | NOT SPAM | 69 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 4 | 11 | 10 | 1 | 15 | 5 | 27 | true |
122 | null | Успокойся доченька! У всех в семье бывают ссоры. Потом все миряться и всё начинается сначала.
— Я знаю, мама, ты только скажи, что с трупом делать? | https://t.me/smeh_76/180?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/smeh_76 | 540 | 0 | 1,672,300,904 | 1,732,740,615 | 4,584 | 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| null | NEUTRAL | rus | NOT SPAM | 26 | 0 | 2 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 7 | 5 | 0 | 5 | 2 | 8 | true |
122 | null | — Ваш банк дает кредиты под честное слово?
— Без проблем...
— А если я не верну?
— Вам будет стыдно перед Всевышним когда предстанете.
— Когда это еще будет...
— Вот, если пятого не вернете, шестого предстанете. | https://t.me/smeh_76/182?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/smeh_76 | 526 | 0 | 1,672,311,706 | 1,732,740,615 | 4,584 | 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| [{"ner":"Всевышним","lemma":"всевышний","label":"ORG","start_pos":106,"end_pos":115}] | NEUTRAL | rus | NOT SPAM | 38 | 0 | 1 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 3 | 5 | 3 | 0 | 5 | 2 | 14 | true |
122 | null | Задача по математике.
Дано:
1. Зарплата Сечина составляет 4,5 миллиона рублей в день.
2. Средняя зарплата в России, по данным Росстата, составляет 44 тысячи рублей в месяц.
Вычислить:
Сколько нужно людей с зарплатой 10 тысяч рублей в месяц, чтобы данные Росстата были верными. | https://t.me/smeh_76/169?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/smeh_76 | 677 | 0 | 1,672,214,497 | 1,732,740,616 | 4,584 | 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| [{"ner":"Сечина","lemma":"сечин","label":"PER","start_pos":40,"end_pos":46},{"ner":"России","lemma":"россия","label":"LOC","start_pos":108,"end_pos":114},{"ner":"Росстата","lemma":"росстата","label":"ORG","start_pos":126,"end_pos":134},{"ner":"Росстата","lemma":"росстата","label":"ORG","start_pos":254,"end_pos":262},{"ner":"1","lemma":"1","label":"NUM","start_pos":28,"end_pos":29},{"ner":"4","lemma":"4","label":"NUM","start_pos":58,"end_pos":59},{"ner":"5","lemma":"5","label":"NUM","start_pos":60,"end_pos":61},{"ner":"2","lemma":"2","label":"NUM","start_pos":86,"end_pos":87},{"ner":"44","lemma":"44","label":"NUM","start_pos":147,"end_pos":149},{"ner":"10","lemma":"10","label":"NUM","start_pos":216,"end_pos":218}] | NEUTRAL | rus | NOT SPAM | 43 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 3 | 4 | 0 | 6 | 17 | 0 | 11 | true |
122 | null | За последние 25 лет во фразе "Мальчик в клубе склеил модель" изменилось значение всех четырех слов. | https://t.me/smeh_76/170?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/smeh_76 | 682 | 0 | 1,672,218,098 | 1,732,740,616 | 4,584 | 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| [{"ner":"25","lemma":"25","label":"NUM","start_pos":13,"end_pos":15}] | NEUTRAL | rus | NOT SPAM | 16 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 2 | 0 | 2 | 7 | 0 | 3 | true |
122 | null | Приезжает мужчина из командировки и пишет отчет: "... проезд – 3000 руб, гостиница — 2500 руб, услуги девушки — 2500 руб..." Прочитал это начальник и вызывает его к себе: — Ты думай, что пишешь, какие девушки?! — А как надо? — Ну, например, напиши "забивание гвоздей". | https://t.me/smeh_76/172?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/smeh_76 | 644 | 0 | 1,672,225,889 | 1,732,740,616 | 4,584 | 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| [{"ner":"3000","lemma":"3000","label":"NUM","start_pos":63,"end_pos":67},{"ner":"2500","lemma":"2500","label":"NUM","start_pos":85,"end_pos":89},{"ner":"2500","lemma":"2500","label":"NUM","start_pos":112,"end_pos":116}] | NEUTRAL | rus | NOT SPAM | 46 | 0 | 1 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 6 | 4 | 3 | 15 | 3 | 24 | true |
122 | null | Звонок по телефону:
— Коля! С Днем рождения!
— Спасибо, а кто это?
— Это — твоя несбывшаяся мечта!
— Мотоцикл?! | https://t.me/smeh_76/173?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/smeh_76 | 651 | 0 | 1,672,228,900 | 1,732,740,616 | 4,584 | 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| null | NEUTRAL | rus | NOT SPAM | 21 | 0 | 1 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 3 | 0 | 6 | 0 | 13 | true |
122 | null | – Наум Абрамыч, а вы кудой?
– Таки Сёма шоб ты знал, скажу тебе за твой интерес: я иду покупать яйца!
– На Привоз или к тёте Циле у лавку?
– У тёплое море! | https://t.me/smeh_76/174?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/smeh_76 | 643 | 0 | 1,672,236,100 | 1,732,740,616 | 4,584 | 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| [{"ner":"Наум Абрамыч","lemma":"наум абрамыч","label":"PER","start_pos":2,"end_pos":14},{"ner":"Таки Сёма","lemma":"таки сёма","label":"PER","start_pos":30,"end_pos":39},{"ner":"Привоз","lemma":"привоз","label":"LOC","start_pos":107,"end_pos":113},{"ner":"Циле","lemma":"циле","label":"PER","start_pos":125,"end_pos":129}] | NEUTRAL | rus | NOT SPAM | 34 | 0 | 1 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 4 | 4 | 0 | 6 | 0 | 11 | true |
122 | null | Из доклада в госдепе США:
— Пока трудно расшифровать, что страшного говорит русский президент своему народу в новогоднем обращении. Но они после этого уходят в запой на две недели. | https://t.me/smeh_76/175?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/smeh_76 | 652 | 0 | 1,672,239,701 | 1,732,740,616 | 4,584 | 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| [{"ner":"США","lemma":"сша","label":"LOC","start_pos":21,"end_pos":24}] | NEUTRAL | rus | NOT SPAM | 29 | 0 | 1 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 4 | 3 | 2 | 1 | 7 | 1 | 5 | true |
122 | null | Сын ссорится с родителями:
— Мне надоело постоянно быть с вами, приходить всегда вовремя. Я хочу романтики, свободы, пива и классных девчонок! Все я ухожу! И не пытайтесь меня удержать.
Направляется к выходу. У двери его нагоняет отец.
— Папа, ты что не слышал? Я же сказал, чтобы вы даже не пытались меня останавливать!
— Погоди минуту, я с тобой. | https://t.me/smeh_76/163?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/smeh_76 | 703 | 0 | 1,672,149,693 | 1,732,740,617 | 4,584 | 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| null | NEUTRAL | rus | NOT SPAM | 60 | 0 | 4 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 14 | 13 | 0 | 11 | 3 | 19 | true |
122 | null | Парень приходит в женское общежитие. Вахтерша останавливает его и говорит:
— Молодой человек, Вы к кому?
— А Вы бы к кому посоветовали? | https://t.me/smeh_76/164?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/smeh_76 | 690 | 0 | 1,672,153,293 | 1,732,740,617 | 4,584 | 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| [{"ner":"Вахтерша","lemma":"вахтерша","label":"PER","start_pos":37,"end_pos":45}] | NEUTRAL | rus | NOT SPAM | 23 | 0 | 1 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 2 | 4 | 5 | 0 | 4 | 0 | 7 | true |
122 | null | Звонит сымаме домой:
— Мама! Я женюсь!
— Ой, сынок, как я рада!
— Только, ты знаешь, она [мав]ритянка...
— Ну ничего, мы с папой не расисты!
—... и у нее четверо детей...
— Прекрасно! Мы с папой детей любим!
—... и еще: нам негде жить...
— И всего то? Приезжайте в нашу уютную однокомнатную квартирку!
— А как мы будем жить?
— Ну, вы с женой и детьми в комнате, а папа в кладовке разместится
— А ты как же, мама???
— А я, сынок, вот сейчас трубку положу и повешусь... | https://t.me/smeh_76/165?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/smeh_76 | 696 | 0 | 1,672,156,894 | 1,732,740,617 | 4,584 | 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| null | POSITIVE | rus | NOT SPAM | 92 | 0 | 5 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 4 | 10 | 14 | 1 | 16 | 6 | 43 | true |
122 | null | Мама:
— Тот самый вкус!
Дочь:
— Тот самый чай!
Бабушка:
— Та самая пачка, что упала за буфет в восьмидесятом! | https://t.me/smeh_76/166?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/smeh_76 | 685 | 0 | 1,672,164,095 | 1,732,740,617 | 4,584 | 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| null | NEUTRAL | rus | NOT SPAM | 21 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 3 | 2 | 1 | 0 | 7 | 0 | 10 | true |
122 | null | — Стасян, ты же шаришь в русском языке?
— Витек, у меня две вышки, конечно шарю.
— Тогда посмотри: "Батя наорал на сына, потому что он был пьян". Кто из них двоих был пьян?
— Он. | https://t.me/smeh_76/167?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/smeh_76 | 700 | 0 | 1,672,167,696 | 1,732,740,617 | 4,584 | 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| [{"ner":"Стасян","lemma":"стасян","label":"PER","start_pos":2,"end_pos":8},{"ner":"Витек","lemma":"витек","label":"PER","start_pos":42,"end_pos":47},{"ner":"Батя","lemma":"батя","label":"PER","start_pos":100,"end_pos":104}] | NEUTRAL | rus | NOT SPAM | 36 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 3 | 3 | 6 | 2 | 4 | 3 | 16 | true |
122 | null | Так и знал, что рано или поздно это должно было случиться. Сегодня между снами мне пришлось посмотреть рекламу. | https://t.me/smeh_76/168?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/smeh_76 | 666 | 0 | 1,672,207,296 | 1,732,740,617 | 4,584 | 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| null | NEUTRAL | rus | NOT SPAM | 18 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 4 | 2 | 0 | 2 | 4 | 3 | true |
122 | null | До свадьбы жених называет невесту мышкой, птичкой и т. п. С каждым годом совместной жизни животные становились все крупнее. | https://t.me/smeh_76/156?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/smeh_76 | 830 | 0 | 1,672,081,288 | 1,732,740,618 | 4,584 | 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| null | NEUTRAL | rus | NOT SPAM | 19 | 0 | 1 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 3 | 2 | 0 | 0 | 8 | 0 | 4 | true |
122 | null | — Володя, представляешь — всё, о чем я мечтал в юности, сбылось! Хотел поесть гамбургеров в настоящем американском Макдональдсе — пожалуйста!
Прокатиться вместе с Терминатором — нет проблем! О крутой сотке мечтал — и это сбылось!
— Ну что тебе сказать, Дима... Газпром — мечты сбываются! | https://t.me/smeh_76/157?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/smeh_76 | 798 | 0 | 1,672,120,888 | 1,732,740,618 | 4,584 | 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| [{"ner":"Володя","lemma":"володя","label":"PER","start_pos":2,"end_pos":8},{"ner":"Макдональдсе","lemma":"макдональдс","label":"LOC","start_pos":115,"end_pos":127},{"ner":"Терминатором","lemma":"терминатор","label":"PER","start_pos":163,"end_pos":175},{"ner":"Дима","lemma":"дима","label":"PER","start_pos":253,"end_pos":257},{"ner":"Газпром","lemma":"газпром","label":"ORG","start_pos":261,"end_pos":268}] | POSITIVE | rus | NOT SPAM | 46 | 0 | 1 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 3 | 12 | 5 | 0 | 5 | 2 | 17 | true |
122 | null | Безопасного ceкса не бывает по определению. Даже резиновая женщина может лопнуть в самый неподходящий момент и оставить тебя заикой на всю жизнь. | https://t.me/smeh_76/158?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/smeh_76 | 792 | 0 | 1,672,121,882 | 1,732,740,618 | 4,584 | 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| null | NEGATIVE | rus | NOT SPAM | 22 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 4 | 4 | 1 | 0 | 6 | 0 | 2 | true |
122 | null | Вовочке сильно надоел урок русского языка.
Он поднял руку и спросил:
— Марья Ивановна, а ПОХ[рен] пишется вместе или раздельно?
За что его удалили из класса до конца учебного года. Чему он очень обрадовался.
Но Мария Ивановна ушла в декрет, и язык начал вести старый, умудренный опытом Абрам Исаакович. Он позвонил родителям Вовочки и сказал, что тот опять может ходить на уроки. Вовочку это не устраивало, и на первом же занятии он спросил:
— Абрам Исаакович, а ПОХ[рен] пишется вместе или раздельно?
— Это — когда как, — ответил старый учитель, — если, молодой человек, вы имеете в виду мое отношение к вашим закидонам - то вместе, а если глубину великой еврейской реки Иордан - то раздельно | https://t.me/smeh_76/159?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/smeh_76 | 763 | 0 | 1,672,128,089 | 1,732,740,618 | 4,584 | 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| [{"ner":"Марья Ивановна","lemma":"марья иванович","label":"PER","start_pos":71,"end_pos":85},{"ner":"Мария Ивановна","lemma":"мария иванович","label":"PER","start_pos":211,"end_pos":225},{"ner":"Абрам Исаакович","lemma":"абрам исаакович","label":"PER","start_pos":286,"end_pos":301},{"ner":"Вовочки","lemma":"вовочки","label":"PER","start_pos":325,"end_pos":332},{"ner":"Абрам Исаакович","lemma":"абрам исаакович","label":"PER","start_pos":444,"end_pos":459},{"ner":"Иордан - то","lemma":"иордан - то","label":"LOC","start_pos":672,"end_pos":683}] | NEUTRAL | rus | NOT SPAM | 117 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 8 | 19 | 11 | 0 | 22 | 10 | 28 | true |
122 | null | Во дворике у подъезда на лавочке сидят бабульки.
Тут к подъезду подруливает крутой джип, выходит из него новый русский, видит бабулек и начинает наезжать:
— Чего расселись, старые кошелки, у моего подъезда, в натуре?
Одна из бабушек отвечает:
— Что ж ты, сынок, на нас ругаисси? Совсем старость не уважаешь.
Я вот внучку своему на тебя пожалуюсь, он мене в обиду не дасть.
— Что?! Какому-такому внучку? Что, конкретный пацан? Так пусть завтра на разборку подваливает, побазарим. Короче, бабка, передай внучку, завтра в пять на этом месте стрелка.
— Ладноть, передам.
На следующий день к подъезду приезжают пять джипов с братвой, рассредоточились по двору, оцепили подъезд, биты, автоматы, все как положено. Новый русский во главе бригады. Бабульки сидят на той же лавочке.
— Ну что, бабка, где твой внучок-то?
— Да где-то здеся. А где — хто ж его знаеть, он же у меня снайпер. | https://t.me/smeh_76/160?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/smeh_76 | 770 | 0 | 1,672,131,690 | 1,732,740,618 | 4,584 | 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| [{"ner":"Ладноть","lemma":"ладноть","label":"LOC","start_pos":549,"end_pos":556}] | NEUTRAL | rus | NOT SPAM | 145 | 0 | 2 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 10 | 20 | 15 | 3 | 43 | 11 | 49 | true |
122 | null | Телефонный звонок, трубку берет ребенок. Шепотом:
— Алло?
— Здравствуй, а папа дома?
Ребенок тихо-тихо:
— Да, но он занят...
— А мама дома?
— Она тоже очень занята...
— А еще дома кто-нибудь есть?
— Дяденьки милиционеры и пожарные...
— Ну позови хотя бы их!
— Не могу, они тоже очень-очень заняты...
— Господи, да чем же они все так заняты?!
Ребенок все тем же шепотом:
— Они меня ищут... | https://t.me/smeh_76/161?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/smeh_76 | 735 | 0 | 1,672,138,891 | 1,732,740,618 | 4,584 | 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| [{"ner":"Алло","lemma":"алло","label":"PER","start_pos":52,"end_pos":56},{"ner":"Здравствуй","lemma":"здравствуй","label":"PER","start_pos":60,"end_pos":70},{"ner":"Господи","lemma":"господи","label":"PER","start_pos":302,"end_pos":309}] | NEUTRAL | rus | NOT SPAM | 71 | 0 | 2 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 2 | 10 | 11 | 0 | 14 | 11 | 32 | true |
122 | null | Сестра застала меня за онанизмом и обозвала извращенцем.
На следующий день я ее застукал за тем же. И она опять назвала меня извращенцем.
Нет в мире справедливости: | https://t.me/smeh_76/162?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/smeh_76 | 740 | 0 | 1,672,142,492 | 1,732,740,618 | 4,584 | 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| null | NEUTRAL | rus | NOT SPAM | 27 | 0 | 1 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 5 | 6 | 0 | 7 | 1 | 4 | true |
122 | null | — Помоги мне, Господи! Есть таки нечего, жить не на что, ни рубля в кармане...
Голос с неба:
— Не ври, Изя!
— Шо, доллары менять?! | https://t.me/smeh_76/151?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/smeh_76 | 1,100 | 0 | 1,672,056,084 | 1,732,740,619 | 4,585 | 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| [{"ner":"Господи","lemma":"господи","label":"PER","start_pos":14,"end_pos":21},{"ner":"Изя","lemma":"изя","label":"PER","start_pos":103,"end_pos":106}] | NEGATIVE | rus | NOT SPAM | 26 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 4 | 2 | 0 | 6 | 0 | 14 | true |
122 | null | На 1 января запланировали катание на санках! Если снег не выпадет, это нас, конечно, огорчит, но не остановит! | https://t.me/smeh_76/152?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/smeh_76 | 960 | 0 | 1,672,063,285 | 1,732,740,619 | 4,585 | 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| [{"ner":"1","lemma":"1","label":"NUM","start_pos":3,"end_pos":4}] | NEUTRAL | rus | NOT SPAM | 18 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 4 | 2 | 0 | 4 | 1 | 6 | true |
122 | null | В купе поезда.
— Мужчина, вы ещё долго молчать будете? Я для кого тут стесняюсь? | https://t.me/smeh_76/153?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/smeh_76 | 910 | 0 | 1,672,066,885 | 1,732,740,619 | 4,584 | 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| null | NEUTRAL | rus | NOT SPAM | 15 | 0 | 2 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 2 | 3 | 0 | 3 | 3 | 5 | true |
122 | null | Только благодаря пиратам сумма состояния Билла Гейтса еще влезает в хоть какие-то благоразумные рамки. | https://t.me/smeh_76/154?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/smeh_76 | 877 | 0 | 1,672,070,486 | 1,732,740,619 | 4,584 | 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| [{"ner":"Билла Гейтса","lemma":"билл гейтс","label":"PER","start_pos":41,"end_pos":53}] | NEUTRAL | rus | NOT SPAM | 14 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 4 | 2 | 1 | true |
122 | null | В Монголии решили создать Министерство морского флота. В Москве страшно удивились:
— Зачем оно вам? У вас же нет моря!
— Ну и что? — удивились монголы. У вас же есть Министерство культуры. | https://t.me/smeh_76/155?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/smeh_76 | 878 | 0 | 1,672,077,687 | 1,732,740,619 | 4,584 | 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| [{"ner":"Монголии","lemma":"монголия","label":"LOC","start_pos":2,"end_pos":10},{"ner":"Министерство морского флота","lemma":"министерство морской флот","label":"ORG","start_pos":26,"end_pos":53},{"ner":"Москве","lemma":"москва","label":"LOC","start_pos":57,"end_pos":63},{"ner":"Министерство культуры","lemma":"министерство культура","label":"ORG","start_pos":166,"end_pos":187}] | NEUTRAL | rus | NOT SPAM | 33 | 0 | 4 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 2 | 6 | 5 | 0 | 4 | 1 | 10 | true |
122 | null | "Маленькoй ёлочке холоднo зимой, из лесу ёлочку взяли мы домoй…" звучит примернo как:
"Бедная рыбка вымокла в пруду, взяли мы рыбку — и на сковороду…" | https://t.me/smeh_76/143?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/smeh_76 | 1,300 | 0 | 1,671,991,279 | 1,732,740,620 | 4,585 | 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| null | NEUTRAL | rus | NOT SPAM | 25 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 5 | 2 | 0 | 8 | 1 | 10 | true |
122 | null | Женщина говорит продавцу овощей и фруктов:
— Вчера я заказывала у вас три килограмма слив и заплатила! А сегодня послала к вам своего сыночка, но он принёс только два килограмма, я взвесила!
— А вы своего сыночка не взвешивали? | https://t.me/smeh_76/144?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/smeh_76 | 1,400 | 0 | 1,671,994,880 | 1,732,740,620 | 4,585 | 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| null | NEUTRAL | rus | NOT SPAM | 39 | 0 | 2 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 6 | 6 | 2 | 9 | 2 | 8 | true |
122 | null | Учитель на уроке биологии:
— Дети, что самое важное в хвойном лесу?
— Туалетная бумага! — отвечает Вовочка. | https://t.me/smeh_76/146?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/smeh_76 | 1,700 | 0 | 1,672,034,480 | 1,732,740,620 | 4,585 | 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| [{"ner":"Вовочка","lemma":"вовочка","label":"PER","start_pos":99,"end_pos":106}] | NEUTRAL | rus | NOT SPAM | 18 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 4 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 6 | 0 | 8 | true |
122 | null | Мужик купил на ярмарке двух гусей, ведро, наковальню, а потом еще двух кур по дешевке. Идет домой, а навстречу женщина:
— Подскажите, как к деревне пройти?
— Идите со мной, я покажу. Только давайте через лес, так ближе.
— Ну конечно, а то я вас, мужиков не знаю! Только зайдем в лес, так где-нибудь меня к дереву прижмете…
— Да вы что, женщина? Видите, сколько у меня живности в руках? Как я смогу?
— Да очень просто! Гусей накроете ведром, а сверху —наковальню.
— А кур я куда дену? | https://t.me/smeh_76/147?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/smeh_76 | 1,700 | 0 | 1,672,040,100 | 1,732,740,620 | 4,585 | 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| null | NEUTRAL | rus | NOT SPAM | 89 | 0 | 1 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 2 | 13 | 10 | 2 | 19 | 13 | 33 | true |
122 | null | Мой приятель пару месяцев назад расстался с девушкой. Говорит, что до сих пор не потратил зарплату полученную после расставания. | https://t.me/smeh_76/148?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/smeh_76 | 1,700 | 0 | 1,672,041,681 | 1,732,740,620 | 4,585 | 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| null | NEUTRAL | rus | NOT SPAM | 19 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 4 | 0 | 0 | 7 | 2 | 3 | true |
122 | null | — Роза Марковна, а шо такое любовь?
— Ой, Софочка, всё просто… Это когда закрываешь глаза таки на все его недостатки. Потом открываешь — а уже двое детей! | https://t.me/smeh_76/149?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/smeh_76 | 1,200 | 0 | 1,672,045,282 | 1,732,740,620 | 4,585 | 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| [{"ner":"Роза Марковна","lemma":"роза маркович","label":"PER","start_pos":2,"end_pos":15}] | POSITIVE | rus | NOT SPAM | 28 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 3 | 2 | 1 | 4 | 3 | 10 | true |
122 | null | В салоне самолета группа парашютистов перед первым прыжком, во главе — два инструктора. Самолет набирает высоту, один инструктор — другому:
— Волнуются:
Второй окидывает взглядом парашютистов:
— Да нет, — говорит, — лица как лица:
— А воздух?! | https://t.me/smeh_76/139?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/smeh_76 | 839 | 0 | 1,671,969,676 | 1,732,740,621 | 4,585 | 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| null | NEUTRAL | rus | NOT SPAM | 38 | 0 | 2 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 3 | 4 | 0 | 2 | 15 | 0 | 18 | true |
122 | null | В русском языке есть замечательное слово из 3-х букв. И означает оно —
"нет", но пишется и произносится совсем по-другому. | https://t.me/smeh_76/141?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/smeh_76 | 1,000 | 0 | 1,671,980,477 | 1,732,740,621 | 4,585 | 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| [{"ner":"3","lemma":"3","label":"NUM","start_pos":44,"end_pos":45}] | NEUTRAL | rus | NOT SPAM | 20 | 0 | 2 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 2 | 5 | 1 | 1 | 3 | 4 | 6 | true |
122 | null | Подруга — подруге:
— Была у врача, оказалось — беременна.
— Придумала ребенку имя?
— Я еще отчество обдумываю | https://t.me/smeh_76/142?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/smeh_76 | 1,200 | 0 | 1,671,984,079 | 1,732,740,621 | 4,585 | 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| null | NEUTRAL | rus | NOT SPAM | 19 | 0 | 1 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 3 | 1 | 0 | 6 | 1 | 9 | true |
122 | null | В школе ЦРУ идет урок русского языка. Преподаватель спрашивает:
— У кого есть вопросы по ситуации "винный магазин"?
Один агент тянет руку.
— Сэр, скажите, пожалуйста, во фразе "Мужики, опять портвейн не привезли! "
— в каком месте должен стоять неопределенный артикль "б%я"?
— Учу вас, учу! Неопределенный артикль "б%я" в данной фразе может быть употреблен как "ДО" любого слова, так и "ПОСЛЕ" него!!!... | https://t.me/smeh_76/136?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/smeh_76 | 616 | 0 | 1,671,955,273 | 1,732,740,631 | 4,585 | 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| [{"ner":"ЦРУ","lemma":"цру","label":"ORG","start_pos":8,"end_pos":11},{"ner":"Сэр","lemma":"сэр","label":"PER","start_pos":141,"end_pos":144},{"ner":"ПОСЛЕ","lemma":"после","label":"ORG","start_pos":387,"end_pos":392}] | NEUTRAL | rus | NOT SPAM | 64 | 0 | 5 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 6 | 10 | 3 | 1 | 19 | 3 | 33 | true |
122 | null | Мужик читает прейскурант в кафе на заправке:
Гамбургер-2$
... мин@т-20$
Смотрит- за прилавком стоит продавщится — сногсшибательная блондинка, всё при ней.
Мужик:
— Извините, а кто у вас делает мин@ты?
Блондинка с томной улыбкой на устах:
— Я делаю, а что?
— Тогда вымойте, пожалуйста, руки — мне один гамбургер. | https://t.me/smeh_76/137?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/smeh_76 | 712 | 0 | 1,671,958,874 | 1,732,740,631 | 4,585 | 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| [{"ner":"мин@ты","lemma":"мин@ты","label":"PER","start_pos":193,"end_pos":199},{"ner":"2","lemma":"2","label":"NUM","start_pos":55,"end_pos":56},{"ner":"20","lemma":"20","label":"NUM","start_pos":68,"end_pos":70}] | NEUTRAL | rus | NOT SPAM | 50 | 0 | 1 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 3 | 7 | 7 | 1 | 13 | 2 | 18 | true |
122 | null | Из новостей: "По мнению экспертов, ракета-носитель "Протон-М" со спутниками "Глонасс-М" после запуска отклонилась от заданной траектории на 8 градусов из-за допущенных ошибок в математическом обеспечении полетного задания"
А чего вы хотите, отменив в школах астрономию и введя православие?
Ракета [бах]нулась об небесный свод! | https://t.me/smeh_76/129?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/smeh_76 | 660 | 0 | 1,671,883,268 | 1,732,740,632 | 4,585 | 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| [{"ner":"8","lemma":"8","label":"NUM","start_pos":140,"end_pos":141}] | NEUTRAL | rus | NOT SPAM | 43 | 0 | 3 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 3 | 7 | 2 | 1 | 21 | 0 | 12 | true |
122 | null | — А почему вы с ней расстались-то?
— Да, блин, она два месяца ныла на тему "ты меня не любишь".
— И что?
— Убедила... | https://t.me/smeh_76/130?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/smeh_76 | 673 | 0 | 1,671,890,469 | 1,732,740,632 | 4,585 | 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| null | NEUTRAL | rus | NOT SPAM | 25 | 0 | 2 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 4 | 6 | 1 | 4 | 2 | 12 | true |
122 | null | Молодой фермер, призванный в армию, в письме домой написал: "Эта армейская жизнь — сплошная расслабуха. Можно валяться в постели до шести часов утра". | https://t.me/smeh_76/131?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/smeh_76 | 661 | 0 | 1,671,894,069 | 1,732,740,632 | 4,585 | 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| null | NEUTRAL | rus | NOT SPAM | 23 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 3 | 3 | 0 | 1 | 8 | 2 | 8 | true |
122 | null | Такое чувство, что старая русская поговорка "дуракам закон не писан" и понятие "депутатская неприкосновенность" как-то связаны. | https://t.me/smeh_76/132?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/smeh_76 | 640 | 0 | 1,671,897,670 | 1,732,740,632 | 4,585 | 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| null | NEUTRAL | rus | NOT SPAM | 16 | 1 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 3 | 2 | 0 | 0 | 6 | 3 | 6 | true |
122 | null | Жена мужу: — Сходи в магазин и купи яиц... Мужу лень оторваться от телевизора шутит: — У меня есть два яйца... Хватит? Она тоже шутя: — А что их можно съесть? Он: — Съесть нельзя, а полизать можно! Она: — Ну и замечательно! Утром полижешь себе на завтрак)) | https://t.me/smeh_76/133?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/smeh_76 | 671 | 0 | 1,671,904,871 | 1,732,740,632 | 4,585 | 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| [{"ner":"Сходи","lemma":"сходи","label":"PER","start_pos":13,"end_pos":18}] | POSITIVE | rus | NOT SPAM | 48 | 0 | 2 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 2 | 9 | 7 | 1 | 10 | 4 | 19 | true |
122 | null | — Просто интересно, как это на фотографиях вашего ателье все так непринужденно смеются?
— Вы бы так не удивлялись, если бы знали, как выглядит наш фотограф! | https://t.me/smeh_76/135?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/smeh_76 | 610 | 0 | 1,671,948,072 | 1,732,740,632 | 4,585 | 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| null | NEUTRAL | rus | NOT SPAM | 26 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 4 | 2 | 0 | 3 | 5 | 7 | true |
122 | null | Лежим с мужем на диване, смотрим фильм. Мой телефона на кухне. Слышу, что СМС пришла. Неохотно иду к телефону. А там сообщение от мужа: "Раз ты уже встала, то сделай, пожалуйста, чай". | https://t.me/smeh_76/124?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/smeh_76 | 705 | 0 | 1,671,823,105 | 1,732,740,633 | 4,585 | 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| null | NEUTRAL | rus | NOT SPAM | 32 | 0 | 2 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 6 | 1 | 0 | 9 | 4 | 13 | true |
122 | null | Если вы знакомитесь в Интернете с симпатичной женщиной и на вопрос, какой у неё IQ, она отвечает: "Четвёртый…", ничего больше не объясняйте, не задавайте ей никаких вопросов, просто зовите в гости! | https://t.me/smeh_76/125?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/smeh_76 | 665 | 0 | 1,671,861,665 | 1,732,740,633 | 4,585 | 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| [{"ner":"Интернете","lemma":"интернет","label":"LOC","start_pos":22,"end_pos":31}] | NEUTRAL | rus | NOT SPAM | 31 | 0 | 1 | 0.97561 | 0.02439 | 0 | 2 | 5 | 5 | 0 | 4 | 1 | 10 | true |
122 | null | Депутаты Госдумы предложили запретить курить на кухнях коммуналок. На то, что люди до сих пор живут в коммуналках, депутатам как-то по[дол]бать. | https://t.me/smeh_76/126?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/smeh_76 | 654 | 0 | 1,671,868,866 | 1,732,740,633 | 4,585 | 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| [{"ner":"Госдумы","lemma":"госдума","label":"ORG","start_pos":9,"end_pos":16}] | NEGATIVE | rus | NOT SPAM | 21 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 4 | 1 | 0 | 7 | 4 | 4 | true |
122 | null | — Почему говорят, что дикие птицы яйца откладывают, а домашние — несут?
— Всё очевидно: домашние птицы несут — потому что для тебя, а дикие откладывают — потому что для себя. Я вот тоже деньги в банк — несу, а для себя — откладываю. | https://t.me/smeh_76/127?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/smeh_76 | 671 | 0 | 1,671,872,467 | 1,732,740,633 | 4,585 | 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| null | NEUTRAL | rus | NOT SPAM | 44 | 0 | 1 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 5 | 6 | 4 | 0 | 6 | 4 | 15 | true |
122 | null | Мать укладывает ребенка спать:
— Все, спим! И не дай Бог я еще раз услышу "Ма-а- ам"!
Через 10 минут:
— Лариса Петровна, я пить хочу! | https://t.me/smeh_76/116?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/smeh_76 | 646 | 0 | 1,671,782,425 | 1,732,740,634 | 4,585 | 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| [{"ner":"Ма-а- ам","lemma":"ма-а- ам","label":"ORG","start_pos":75,"end_pos":83},{"ner":"Лариса Петровна","lemma":"лариса петрович","label":"PER","start_pos":104,"end_pos":119},{"ner":"10","lemma":"10","label":"NUM","start_pos":92,"end_pos":94}] | NEUTRAL | rus | NOT SPAM | 26 | 0 | 1 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 7 | 3 | 1 | 5 | 1 | 11 | true |
122 | null | Тяжело быть программистом. Приходишь отдохнуть к людям в гости, а тебе сразу показывают домашний компьютер и просят разобраться с его проблемами. У гинекологов так же? | https://t.me/smeh_76/117?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/smeh_76 | 656 | 0 | 1,671,786,026 | 1,732,740,634 | 4,585 | 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| null | NEUTRAL | rus | NOT SPAM | 25 | 0 | 1 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 2 | 5 | 1 | 0 | 6 | 2 | 4 | true |
122 | null | Завод по производству валерьянки постоянно не выполняет план... Но на заводе это никого не волнует... | https://t.me/smeh_76/118?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/smeh_76 | 682 | 0 | 1,671,793,226 | 1,732,740,634 | 4,585 | 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| null | NEUTRAL | rus | NOT SPAM | 15 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 2 | 2 | 0 | 5 | 1 | 2 | true |
122 | null | Очередь в поликлинике, открывается дверь кабинета, врач на весь коридор радостно сообщает:
— Согласно закону о защите персональных данных, мы не имеем право приглашать пациентов, называя их по имени. Мужчина с сифилисом, зайдите! | https://t.me/smeh_76/119?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/smeh_76 | 714 | 0 | 1,671,796,827 | 1,732,740,634 | 4,585 | 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| null | NEUTRAL | rus | NOT SPAM | 33 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 6 | 2 | 0 | 14 | 1 | 9 | true |
122 | null | Мои родители в детстве запрещали мне читать лёжа. Своим детям я разрешаю читать даже стоя на голове, но они всё равно не читают. | https://t.me/smeh_76/120?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/smeh_76 | 698 | 0 | 1,671,804,028 | 1,732,740,634 | 4,585 | 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| null | NEGATIVE | rus | NOT SPAM | 23 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 6 | 3 | 0 | 5 | 1 | 3 | true |
122 | null | Объявление в подъезде. "Сверлю бетон" и ниже телефон. Снизу приписка:
"Сука, наконец-то я тебя нашел! " | https://t.me/smeh_76/121?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/smeh_76 | 682 | 0 | 1,671,807,629 | 1,732,740,634 | 4,585 | 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| null | NEUTRAL | rus | NOT SPAM | 16 | 1 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 1 | 2 | 0 | 6 | 4 | 9 | true |
122 | null | На экзамене у профессора не было настроения и он решил всех завалить!
Заходит студент, препод его спрашивает:
— Ты едешь в маршрутке там очень жарко, твои действия?
Студент:
— Я открою окно.
Препод:
— Правильно, а теперь расчитай изменение в аэродинамике маршрутки в результате открытого окна!
Студент:
— Ээээээээээээ...
Препод:
— Идите два.
И так он еще несколько человек завалил, после чего заходит девушка!
Он задает ей тот же самый вопрос:
— Вы едете в маршрутке, там жарко, вааши действия?
Девушка:
— Блузку сниму.
Препод:
— Вы не поняли, там жарко.
Девушка:
— Ну тогда лифчик сниму.
Препод:
— Вы снова не поняли.. ТАМ ОЧЕНЬ ЖАРКО!
Девушка:
— ДА ПУСТЬ МЕНЯ ХОТЬ ВСЯ МАРШРУТКА ВЫ[дол]бЕТ, ОКНО Я НЕ ОТКРОЮ!!! | https://t.me/smeh_76/109?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/smeh_76 | 609 | 0 | 1,671,710,420 | 1,732,740,635 | 4,600 | 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| [{"ner":"Блузку","lemma":"блузку","label":"PER","start_pos":506,"end_pos":512},{"ner":"ОКНО","lemma":"окно","label":"ORG","start_pos":693,"end_pos":697}] | NEUTRAL | rus | NOT SPAM | 119 | 0 | 15 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 6 | 18 | 13 | 3 | 25 | 10 | 46 | true |
122 | null | — Папа, мне нужно тебе что-то сказать!
— Только коротко и ясно.
— Сто долларов. | https://t.me/smeh_76/110?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/smeh_76 | 594 | 0 | 1,671,717,621 | 1,732,740,635 | 4,600 | 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| null | NEUTRAL | rus | NOT SPAM | 15 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 2 | 1 | 5 | 1 | 2 | 1 | 7 | true |
122 | null | Передача на радио. Позвонившим предлагают назвать слово, которого нет в словаре, но которое в предложении может иметь смысл. Итак, звонок.
Ведущий: здраствуйте, вы кто?
— Я Дэйв.
— Ваше слово?
— Шолб. По буквам: Ш-О-Л-Б.
— Такого слова в словаре нет. У вас все шансы выиграть путевку. Теперь скажите осмысленное предлложение с этим словом.
— Шолб ты на х[рен]!
:
Телефонный звонок моментально обрывают. Далее передача продолжается, проходит несколько неудачных разговоров со звонящими. И вот очередной звонок.
Ведущий: Алло. Как вас зовут?
— Джефф.
— Ваше слово?
— Эцново. Э-Ц-Н-О-В-О.
— Да, странное слово, в словаре нет. А предложение целиком?
— Эцново я. Шолб ты на х[рен]!!! | https://t.me/smeh_76/111?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/smeh_76 | 609 | 0 | 1,671,721,221 | 1,732,740,635 | 4,600 | 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| [{"ner":"Дэйв","lemma":"дэйв","label":"PER","start_pos":173,"end_pos":177},{"ner":"Шолб","lemma":"шолб","label":"PER","start_pos":195,"end_pos":199},{"ner":"Шолб","lemma":"шолб","label":"PER","start_pos":342,"end_pos":346},{"ner":"Алло","lemma":"алло","label":"PER","start_pos":519,"end_pos":523},{"ner":"Джефф","lemma":"джефф","label":"PER","start_pos":542,"end_pos":547},{"ner":"Эцново","lemma":"эцново","label":"LOC","start_pos":565,"end_pos":571}] | NEUTRAL | rus | NOT SPAM | 107 | 0 | 14 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 5 | 16 | 10 | 1 | 42 | 6 | 48 | true |
122 | null | Командированый пришел в гостиницу, а там все места заняты, кроме одного, в двухместном номере. Его честно предупреждают, что оно свободно потому, что сосед необычайно громко храпит, и никто там не может уснуть. Он соглашается, поскольку выбора все равно нет.
Утром командированый выходит свежий и отдохнувший. Его спрашивают:
— Как вам удалось выспаться при таком храпуне?
— Я зашел в номер — он храпит. Я подошел, поцеловал его в щечку и сказал "Спокойной ночи, противный" — он проснулся, и не только не храпел, но даже и глаз-то не сомкнул! | https://t.me/smeh_76/112?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/smeh_76 | 627 | 0 | 1,671,724,822 | 1,732,740,635 | 4,600 | 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| null | NEUTRAL | rus | NOT SPAM | 88 | 0 | 2 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 6 | 21 | 12 | 1 | 12 | 9 | 25 | true |
122 | null | Устроился мужик работать на лесоповале. Ну, значит, кореша ему и говорят что мол, перекур у нас сейчас, а новичок пускай поработает. Возвращяются они через час, а мужик-то уже второй квадратный километр заканчивает. Они ему говорят:
— Мужик, ты чего это...?
— Да я из Казахстана.
— Так у вас же леса нет!
— Ничего, и у вас не будет!! | https://t.me/smeh_76/113?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/smeh_76 | 624 | 0 | 1,671,732,023 | 1,732,740,635 | 4,600 | 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| [{"ner":"Мужик","lemma":"мужик","label":"LOC","start_pos":235,"end_pos":240},{"ner":"Казахстана","lemma":"казахстан","label":"LOC","start_pos":268,"end_pos":278}] | NEUTRAL | rus | NOT SPAM | 59 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 2 | 10 | 15 | 0 | 8 | 5 | 21 | true |
122 | null | Приятней его не встречал я мужчины:
Остёр, обаятелен, очень умён
И каждое утро без всякой причины
Из зеркала мне улыбается он! | https://t.me/smeh_76/114?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/smeh_76 | 631 | 0 | 1,671,735,623 | 1,732,740,635 | 4,600 | 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| null | POSITIVE | rus | NOT SPAM | 21 | 0 | 1 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 3 | 4 | 0 | 5 | 1 | 4 | true |
122 | null | — Я без шапки хожу практически всегда.
Если особо без ветра, то и в -25. И ничего. Когда последний раз болел — не помню.
— Вот! А если б ходил в шапке, то помнил бы. | https://t.me/smeh_76/115?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/smeh_76 | 623 | 0 | 1,671,775,224 | 1,732,740,635 | 4,585 | 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| [{"ner":"25","lemma":"25","label":"NUM","start_pos":69,"end_pos":71}] | NEUTRAL | rus | NOT SPAM | 35 | 0 | 3 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 5 | 2 | 0 | 4 | 3 | 12 | true |
122 | null | Жена:
— Ты мне зарплату собираешься отдавать?
Муж, злорадно:
— Не сегодня, сегодня голова болит. | https://t.me/smeh_76/102?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/smeh_76 | 676 | 0 | 1,671,638,415 | 1,732,740,636 | 4,600 | 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| null | NEUTRAL | rus | NOT SPAM | 15 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 3 | 2 | 0 | 4 | 2 | 8 | true |
122 | null | — Что Вы мне все подмигиваете?
— Это нервный тик.
— Вы негодяй: я уже настроилась. | https://t.me/smeh_76/103?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/smeh_76 | 667 | 0 | 1,671,645,615 | 1,732,740,636 | 4,600 | 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| null | NEUTRAL | rus | NOT SPAM | 16 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 2 | 6 | 0 | 1 | 2 | 7 | true |
122 | null | Женщина на исповеди:
— Батюшка! Дайте мне разрешение на развод с мужем!
— А в чем дело, дочь моя?
— Пьет! Не работает! Меня бьет!
— А что ж ты за такого замуж пошла?
— Дура была!
— Вот видишь, а он тебя, дуру, замуж взял. | https://t.me/smeh_76/104?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/smeh_76 | 660 | 0 | 1,671,649,216 | 1,732,740,636 | 4,600 | 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| [{"ner":"Пьет","lemma":"пить","label":"LOC","start_pos":100,"end_pos":104},{"ner":"Дура","lemma":"дура","label":"PER","start_pos":168,"end_pos":172}] | NEUTRAL | rus | NOT SPAM | 46 | 0 | 2 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 7 | 7 | 0 | 9 | 2 | 20 | true |
122 | null | На заметку автомобилистам. Для того, чтобы провести самую полную и всеобъемлющую диагностику вашего автомобиля совершенно бесплатно, достаточно на любом авторынке подъехать к перекупщикам и предложить им купить ваш автомобиль... | https://t.me/smeh_76/105?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/smeh_76 | 650 | 0 | 1,671,688,817 | 1,732,740,636 | 4,600 | 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| null | NEUTRAL | rus | NOT SPAM | 29 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 3 | 5 | 2 | 0 | 7 | 2 | 4 | true |
122 | null | — Доктор, не могу кончить. Трахаю жену часами до полной потери сил, а орг@зма нет. Помогите!
— Поможем, это несложно.. А почему вы так напуганы? Озираетесь?..
— Жена сказала: Пойдешь к врачу, убью! | https://t.me/smeh_76/106?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/smeh_76 | 644 | 0 | 1,671,696,018 | 1,732,740,636 | 4,600 | 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| [{"ner":"Поможем","lemma":"помочь","label":"LOC","start_pos":95,"end_pos":102}] | NEGATIVE | rus | NOT SPAM | 33 | 2 | 1 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 2 | 10 | 2 | 0 | 8 | 2 | 16 | true |
122 | null | Крутой авторитет водит гостей, показывает свой новый дом. Пришли в картинную галерею. Хозяин хвастается:
— Вот эту картинку Ростропович нарисовал. А вон ту, значит, зелененькую
— Хворостовский намалевал. А это вот Спиваков постарался, и еще вон ту в углу тоже.
Один из гостей не понял:
— Дык вроде они музыканты?
— Вован, когда я говорю человеку "рисуй", он рисует! | https://t.me/smeh_76/107?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/smeh_76 | 609 | 0 | 1,671,699,619 | 1,732,740,636 | 4,600 | 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| [{"ner":"Ростропович","lemma":"ростропович","label":"PER","start_pos":124,"end_pos":135},{"ner":"Хворостовский","lemma":"хворостовский","label":"PER","start_pos":179,"end_pos":192},{"ner":"Спиваков","lemma":"спиваков","label":"PER","start_pos":214,"end_pos":222},{"ner":"Дык","lemma":"дык","label":"PER","start_pos":288,"end_pos":291},{"ner":"Вован","lemma":"вован","label":"PER","start_pos":315,"end_pos":320}] | NEUTRAL | rus | NOT SPAM | 59 | 0 | 2 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 5 | 10 | 4 | 1 | 11 | 6 | 21 | true |
122 | null | Пошел Иван-Царевич счастья искать за тридевять земель... Шел он три дня и три ночи (ну типа как там в сказке обычно) по пустыне сахарской. И захотелось пить ему. Увидел Иван колодец на горизонте, подошел к нему и склонился, чтоб водички попить. Тут вдруг тень какая то возникла перед ним. Оборачивается Иван-видит:
Змей-Горыныч огромный и страшный позади него стоит. Вынул тогда наш герой свой меч и давай рубить гадюку эдакую. Срубает голову-у того две вырастают, две рубит- четыре новых появляются. Три дня схватка была и в итоге не выдержал
Иван, бросил меч свой наземь и говорит страшилищу:
— Все, одолел ты меня, гад ползучий, собака небритая. Делай все что хочешь со мной, осел плешивый-нет сил с тобой больше драться, ирод проклятый.
А Змей-Горыныч его спрашивает:
— А ты чего к колодцу-то пришел?
Иван:
— да как чего? Воды попить! ***
— Ну и кто тебе мешал??? | https://t.me/smeh_76/108?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/smeh_76 | 611 | 0 | 1,671,706,819 | 1,732,740,636 | 4,600 | 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| [{"ner":"Иван-Царевич","lemma":"иван-царевич","label":"PER","start_pos":6,"end_pos":18},{"ner":"Иван","lemma":"иван","label":"PER","start_pos":169,"end_pos":173},{"ner":"Иван-видит","lemma":"иван-видеть","label":"PER","start_pos":303,"end_pos":313},{"ner":"Змей-Горыныч","lemma":"змей-горыныч","label":"LOC","start_pos":315,"end_pos":327},{"ner":"Иван","lemma":"иван","label":"PER","start_pos":544,"end_pos":548},{"ner":"Змей-Горыныч","lemma":"змей-горыныч","label":"LOC","start_pos":743,"end_pos":755}] | NEUTRAL | rus | NOT SPAM | 145 | 0 | 3 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 9 | 32 | 21 | 7 | 28 | 7 | 38 | true |
122 | null | "Иногда директорами становятся даже настоящие клоуны".
Ю. Никулин. | https://t.me/smeh_76/100?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/smeh_76 | 704 | 0 | 1,671,631,213 | 1,732,740,637 | 4,600 | 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| [{"ner":"Ю. Никулин","lemma":"ю. никулин","label":"PER","start_pos":55,"end_pos":65}] | NEUTRAL | rus | NOT SPAM | 8 | 0 | 1 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 2 | 1 | 4 | true |
122 | null | Жёнам на заметку: Мужик замечает, что его баба подстриглась лишь в двух случаях: 1) она пришла домой лысая; 2) он сидел и ждал её в парикмахерской. | https://t.me/smeh_76/101?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/smeh_76 | 694 | 0 | 1,671,634,814 | 1,732,740,637 | 4,600 | 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| [{"ner":"Мужик","lemma":"мужик","label":"PER","start_pos":18,"end_pos":23},{"ner":"1","lemma":"1","label":"NUM","start_pos":81,"end_pos":82},{"ner":"2","lemma":"2","label":"NUM","start_pos":108,"end_pos":109}] | NEUTRAL | rus | NOT SPAM | 26 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 5 | 3 | 3 | 5 | 1 | 7 | true |
122 | null | Учёные бьют тревогу!
Вспышка идиотизма распространяется в 10000 раз быстрее, чем коронавирус. | https://t.me/smeh_76/96?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/smeh_76 | 776 | 0 | 1,671,609,610 | 1,732,740,637 | 4,600 | 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| [{"ner":"10000","lemma":"10000","label":"DATE","start_pos":58,"end_pos":63}] | NEUTRAL | rus | NOT SPAM | 12 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 2 | 0 | 1 | 6 | 1 | 3 | true |
122 | null | — Милый, прикинь, только что проходила мимо детей, а они вызывают демона.
Жуть.
— А тебя не смущает, что в этот момент появилась именно ты? | https://t.me/smeh_76/97?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/smeh_76 | 736 | 0 | 1,671,613,211 | 1,732,740,637 | 4,600 | 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| [{"ner":"Милый","lemma":"милый","label":"LOC","start_pos":2,"end_pos":7}] | NEUTRAL | rus | NOT SPAM | 25 | 0 | 1 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 4 | 3 | 0 | 5 | 0 | 9 | true |
122 | null | Сидят два друга, профессора, пьют чай.
Один из них говорит:
— Вот, Сережа, мы с тобой знакомы уже столько лет, с института дружим, а ты ведь тоже в душе — антисемит.
— Боря, да ты что! Да я тебя как брата! Да я...
— Ну, хорошо, представь, завтра вышел указ — расстрелять всех евреев и дворников.
— А дворники при чем?
— Вот видишь! | https://t.me/smeh_76/98?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/smeh_76 | 741 | 0 | 1,671,620,412 | 1,732,740,637 | 4,600 | 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| [{"ner":"Сережа","lemma":"сереж","label":"PER","start_pos":67,"end_pos":73},{"ner":"Боря","lemma":"боря","label":"PER","start_pos":168,"end_pos":172}] | NEUTRAL | rus | NOT SPAM | 64 | 0 | 1 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 2 | 8 | 10 | 2 | 12 | 4 | 26 | true |
122 | null | Дедушкам и бабушкам, которые плохо вели себя в этом году, Дед Мороз подарит внуков на все зимние каникулы. | https://t.me/smeh_76/99?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/smeh_76 | 748 | 0 | 1,671,624,013 | 1,732,740,637 | 4,600 | 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| [{"ner":"Дед Мороз","lemma":"дед мороз","label":"PER","start_pos":58,"end_pos":67}] | NEUTRAL | rus | NOT SPAM | 18 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 2 | 2 | 0 | 5 | 1 | 3 | true |
122 | null | — Рабинович, ты что такой грустный?
— Понимаешь, Моня. В СССР я был евреем и неглупым человеком. А теперь в Израиле я русский и тупой. | https://t.me/smeh_76/90?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/smeh_76 | 855 | 0 | 1,671,548,702 | 1,732,740,638 | 4,600 | 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| [{"ner":"Рабинович","lemma":"рабинович","label":"PER","start_pos":2,"end_pos":11},{"ner":"Понимаешь","lemma":"понимать","label":"PER","start_pos":38,"end_pos":47},{"ner":"Моня","lemma":"моня","label":"PER","start_pos":49,"end_pos":53},{"ner":"СССР","lemma":"ссср","label":"LOC","start_pos":57,"end_pos":61},{"ner":"Израиле","lemma":"израиль","label":"LOC","start_pos":108,"end_pos":115}] | NEGATIVE | rus | NOT SPAM | 25 | 0 | 3 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 4 | 1 | 4 | 0 | 2 | 1 | 8 | true |
122 | null | Пошел Вовочка в школу в первый класс и уже а первом уроке заявил училке:
— Марь Ванна, я слишком умный для первого класса! Давайте меня уж сразу в третий!
Та приводит его к директору: так, мол и так. Директор:
— Ну что ж! Давайте его проверим! А сколько, Вова, будет 3 х 3?
Вовочка:
— 9!
— Правильно! А сколько будет 6 х 6?
— 36!
— Верно! Я думаю, Марь Иванна, мы можем перевести его в 3-й класс!
Марь Иванна:
— А давайте я его поспрашиваю на логичность мышления! Вот что такое, Вовочка, у коровы есть 4, а у меня две?
Вовочка (подумав):
— Ноги!
— Хм, а вот что у тебя есть в штанах, а у меня нет?
Охреневший директор даже рта не успел открыть, как Вова сказал:
— Карманы!
Училка:
— Правильно, давай, Вова, в третий класс дуй!
Директор:
— А вот я думаю, Марь Ванна, что Вову можно сразу в 5-й класс перевести, потому как на два последних вопроса, я сам ошибся! | https://t.me/smeh_76/91?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/smeh_76 | 897 | 0 | 1,671,553,805 | 1,732,740,638 | 4,600 | 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122 | null | И как это у них так всё получается … Пришли — настроение подняли, головную боль сняли, сон улучшили, сил прибавили … Это я о деньгах … на карточке! | https://t.me/smeh_76/92?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/smeh_76 | 828 | 0 | 1,671,559,501 | 1,732,740,638 | 4,600 | 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| null | NEUTRAL | rus | NOT SPAM | 28 | 0 | 1 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 6 | 5 | 0 | 6 | 2 | 8 | true |
122 | null | Добрый дедушка Мороз, борода из ваты.
Сделай всем в Кремле и в Думе, как у нас, зарплаты! | https://t.me/smeh_76/93?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/smeh_76 | 825 | 0 | 1,671,562,808 | 1,732,740,638 | 4,600 | 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| [{"ner":"Мороз","lemma":"мороз","label":"PER","start_pos":15,"end_pos":20},{"ner":"Кремле","lemma":"кремль","label":"LOC","start_pos":52,"end_pos":58},{"ner":"Думе","lemma":"дума","label":"LOC","start_pos":63,"end_pos":67}] | NEUTRAL | rus | NOT SPAM | 17 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 2 | 0 | 4 | 0 | 5 | true |
122 | null | Друзья
, спасибо, что подписались на канал. Особая благодарность тем, кто поучаствовал в опросе про количество публикаций.
С сегодняшнего дня на канале будет выходить в 2 раза больше анекдотов.
Читайте и набирайтесь позитива!
Всем добра и смеха!
С уважением, ваш дядя Миша! | https://t.me/smeh_76/94?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/smeh_76 | 779 | 0 | 1,671,598,806 | 1,732,740,638 | 4,600 | 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| [{"ner":"Миша","lemma":"миша","label":"PER","start_pos":268,"end_pos":272},{"ner":"2","lemma":"2","label":"NUM","start_pos":169,"end_pos":170}] | POSITIVE | rus | NOT SPAM | 42 | 0 | 2 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 2 | 5 | 2 | 2 | 16 | 0 | 10 | true |
122 | null | — Так, спи давай!
— Не поняла: так спать или давать? | https://t.me/smeh_76/95?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/smeh_76 | 774 | 0 | 1,671,602,408 | 1,732,740,638 | 4,600 | 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| null | NEUTRAL | rus | NOT SPAM | 11 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 4 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 2 | 6 | true |
122 | null | — Можно ли купить честного человека?
— Купить нельзя, продать можно. | https://t.me/smeh_76/82?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/smeh_76 | 1,100 | 0 | 1,671,447,628 | 1,732,740,639 | 4,600 | 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| null | NEUTRAL | rus | NOT SPAM | 11 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 3 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 3 | 5 | true |
122 | null | В городе Находка неизвестные негодяи обработали сильнейшим слабительным средством 50 килограмм чёрной икры и пожертвовали детскому дому. На следующий день на работу не вышло всё руководство местной полиции, также пришлось отменить заседание городского совета (депутаты не смогли покинуть туалетные комнаты), а мэр города пропустил встречу с японскими бизнесменами. Все заседания городского суда перенесены на месяц. К счастью, никто из детей не пострадал... | https://t.me/smeh_76/84?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/smeh_76 | 1,200 | 0 | 1,671,472,830 | 1,732,740,639 | 4,600 | 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| [{"ner":"Находка","lemma":"находка","label":"LOC","start_pos":9,"end_pos":16},{"ner":"50","lemma":"50","label":"NUM","start_pos":82,"end_pos":84}] | NEUTRAL | rus | NOT SPAM | 62 | 0 | 2 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 11 | 10 | 1 | 1 | 23 | 1 | 9 | true |
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