Since publishing my recent blog, “But what do I do with my hands”, I’ve been asked for advice about eye contact. A lot of us struggle with this in day to day communication, let alone when standing up and talking to people in a professional capacity.

But eye contact is a very important part of our non-verbal communication, so it’s worth thinking about how you’re coming across. Imagine you’re chatting to a friend you’ve bumped in to on the street, and they keep avoiding eye contact. What do you think? All manner of things, I’m sure, but none of them good! Remember: a presentation is just a conversation, and if you wouldn’t do it in conversation, you shouldn’t do it in a presentation!

Here are some pitfalls to avoid, and what you could do instead:

Looking over someone’s shoulder. This looks like you are trying to find someone more interesting to talk to. How rude! INSTEAD, size up the audience in the few seconds before you speak, and identify some friendly faces. We all have natural resting expressions, and some are more welcoming than others. Start with the ones who are looking at you warmly and look at each one in turn, holding eye contact for one or two phrases, before moving on. As you start to connect with people, you’ll begin to relax.

Eyeballing for too long. Staring at one person for a long time is a bit intense and can make them feel uncomfortable. INSTEAD, practise your presentation enough that you are comfortable with your phrasing and can move your focus naturally from one person to the next after about five seconds or so.

The scattergun approach. Scanning the room and talking “at” people, not “with” them. INSTEAD, encourage engagement through sustained eye contact to make people feel like individuals. The more you do this, the more likely the person is to look back at you, to listen to what you’re telling them and to be part of your conversation.

Looking skywards. You look like you’re searching for the answer, which creates doubt in your listener’s mind. INSTEAD, communicate your own confidence by using eye contact to relax your audience. We all occasionally look up to the sky – when we’re thinking of a response, for example – so if that works as a natural part of your format (eg a Q&A) then it’ll reassure your audience that you’re really thinking about them. But beware of doing it too much.

Rabbit in the headlights. Spending the first few minutes looking appealingly and apologetically at your listeners until you relax into it. INSTEAD, arrive early so you can spend some time chatting to your audience and remind yourself that they’re just people. Even better, imagine the room is full of people who make you smile when you think of them.

Glued to your script. This not only makes us look nervous, but it creates a barrier between us and our audience. You’re “reading at them” rather than “talking with them”.  INSTEAD, learn your presentation so well (or use visual prompts if you need to) so that your script is just there as back up, and you have the confidence to look up at your audience.

Looking at the ground. Feeling guilty? Done something you shouldn’t have? INSTEAD, practise your presentation in front of a group of friends or colleagues and ask them to raise their hands. Only when you make eye contact with someone are they allowed to lower their hand. This is a great way to practise moving your focus from one person to the next.

Closing your eyes. A more common habit than you’d imagine: some people listen with their eyes open but, when it’s their turn to talk, close their yes for the entirety of their speech. There are reasons (as there always are) for why this habit develops, but it can make an audience feel completely irrelevant to the speaker, as though their response is not important. INSTEAD, video yourself practising your presentation, to make sure you’re not shutting people out of your conversation. You don’t want to go to all this effort and then disinvite your listeners by closing off a fundamental part of your communication.

Eye contact is a vital to how we communicate. With confident, focused eye contact comes authority and conviction. If you can’t look someone in the eye, how can you expect them to trust you?

It’s worth remembering that you need to understand your audience before you begin to prepare your presentation. Different cultures have acceptable “norms” when it comes to eye contact, so do your homework to ensure you don’t offend.

For help with your next presentation, get in touch.