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September 4, 2014
by Marti Wormuth, MA

Healthy Conflict Resolution

September 4, 2014 04:55 by Marti Wormuth, MA  [About the Author]

Some people do everything that they can to make sure that they avoid conflict, while others embrace it and get "toe to toe" with it so that they can feel brave and empowered. No matter which type of person you are, you should know that there is a healthy way for you to deal with conflict, whether it's in your friendship or in your marriage. In this article, we're going to take a closer look at conflict and how to deal with it in a healthy manner. 

Why Do We Have Conflict?

There are a lot of reasons that we have conflict with other people, but mainly it's because that is how we are programmed and built. As people, we all have opinions about different things and we all believe that things should go a certain way. If someone seems to question those particular issues, we get into conflict. We can get into conflict about simple things (like who's turn it is to do the dishes) to difficult things (like whether or not you should buy a home). 

Of course, some conflicts are worse than others. Some people react to conflict differently; some may yell and get in people's faces while others may just let the topic drop so that they can run away from it completely. But the important thing to realize here is that conflict is a part of everyday life. You're never going to get away from it, so it's better to understand healthy ways to deal with it than to just keep going at it in the ways you currently do. 

Tips for Healthy Conflict Resolution

Here are some tips that can help you to resolve conflict in a healthy manner. 

Be open and honest with the other person that is involved. Don't beat around the bush; a mistake that a lot of people make is that they're worried about making the other person angry, so they don't tell them the truth about what is really going on underneath the surface. So be open and honest, but also be gentle so that you don't make the situation worse than it may already be. 

Don't get stuck on all of the little details. Some people get so stuck on the fact that they want to be right and they want the other person or people to be wrong, but that's not what you should be getting stuck on. If you truly care about the people involved, don't get stuck on the little details - find a way to work through the larger part of the conflict without getting nit picky about the little things that just make the entire conflict worse. 

If your temper is too bad, take time to walk away and think about things. Sometimes, when we are in conflict, we start to say and do things that we don't mean. We make the conflict that much worse because we're too busy talking instead of thinking. So, if your emotions have started to get in the way of your conflict resolution, you need to take a "time out." Walk away from it for a short bit, go do something to cool off from your emotions, and then come back to the topic later on. Don't wait too long, though, or you may try to ignore it and it will just be worse the next time you argue. 

Don't call one another rude or inappropriate names. Name calling doesn't fix anything. If you're upset, or you think that the other party or parties are not listening to you, don't use name calling to try and get their attention. It will just make it that much worse, and it will make it harder for them to take you seriously and try to resolve the conflict. 

You Might Need Outside Intervention

Sometimes, conflict becomes a major part of a relationship, and in those cases it becomes unhealthy. If it gets to that point, or you are in conflict on a regular basis, please go see a therapist or counselor. They can help you to learn how to work through your differences and have healthier, long lasting relationships. 

As you can see, there are a lot of ways to deal with conflict in a healthy way. As we just mentioned, you may need some outside help to do so. If you need a professional to help you, be sure to go and find one - they can help you work through your conflict so that your relationship(s) come out stronger on the other side. Get help today, and you will be thankful that you took the time in order to do so. 


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Ni, P. (2012, December 5). How Successful Couples Resolve Conflicts. Retrieved May 28, 2014, from

Segal, J., & Smith, M. (2014, May 08). Conflict Resolution Skills. Retrieved May 28, 2014, from

Vaden, R. (2012, May 11). How to Fight: 10 Rules of Relationship Conflict Resolution. Retrieved May 28, 2014, from

Wachs, S. R., PhD. (2008, January). Put Conflict Resolution Skills to Work. Retrieved May 28, 2014, from

About the Author

Marti Wormuth, MA Marti Wormuth, MA

Marti has a Bachelor’s Degree in Sociology and a Master’s in Communication Studies. Her favorite activities include reading, playing games, and hanging out with the students at her church. Marti volunteers with the youth ministry at her church as a teacher and mentor. Because of this, she recently started another degree, her graduate certificate in student ministries. She considers her current graduate work to be a stepping stone to becoming a youth pastor or a published author.

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