why senior citizens should be sexually active

this is one of my papers that I wrote a few years ago for school, I have not edited out the spelling mistakes so bear with me.

Sex is something often taken for granted by the young. In our youth we ofetn negelct to look to the future and examine the senior citizens of today to plan for our older age. By educating ourselvs and the current senior populations we can spread awarness of the rejuvinating and envigorating benefits of love making in older age along with how to properly evaluate and overcome barriers and risks associated with sex.


As youth we have many ageist and stereotypical misconceptions towards seniors engaging in sexual activity. By Having these negative conatations about sex in later life we not only discourage and close doors for oursleves in later life, but may also affect the opionions and thoughts of seniors who may have desire for sexual intimacy and contact.  In  (Lee and Micheal Stones 2004) book “Sex May be Wasted on the Young” we can examine four major misconceptions that youth and mainstream socirty have brabded sex in older age with. The first is the argument that Seniors engaging in sexual intercourse is gross. We as a general populace would never imagine our parents or heaven forbid out grandparents having sex. We all know it it had to happen at some point for us to be concieved and brought into this world but is something we dread thinking off. What we fail to see is that sex is the most primal of ways of showing love, and for our elders to be able to experience that love and enjoyment is the complete opposite of gross. The second misconseption is that It is not natural for senors to engage in sexual intercourse. Sex is the oldest and most primal form of affection and the most enjoyable way to pro create that there is immaginable on earth. Therefore we can establish with irrefutible proof that sex for older adults is most certainly natural. 

                        The third argument is that seniors have no desire to engage in sexual intercourse.  While this may be true for some, many seniors have a strong sexual drive.  women hit their sexual prime in their late 30’s and 40’s due to hormonal and emotional changes in the body. So while media may present older women as past their primein looks, they are just coming into their own sexually. Of course we live in the yummy mummy yoga age or “MILF age” and therfore older women are becoming even more attractive than before. To put this in perspective, most younger women can confidently say that men find them sexually attractive and gice them the “I would” look. Older women do not get the same attention as younger women but still have the desire for sex. The fourth argument is that seniors do not have the ability to be sexually active. With more and more seniors maintainging their physical health or starting to, there are more fully mobile able bodied seniors than ever. And with male enhancement products such as viagra the ability for seniors to engage in sexual activity is higher than ever. And for those with less mobility such there are always adaptatioins. For example low impact sex in water, books on the easiest postions for obese individuals and equipment that makes it eaier to support and manouver during sex. Clearly the misconceptions society has are unture and based upon uneducated and bias social stigma’s. Many do not consider that their may even be advantages to being of older age and having sex.


Many of us face challenges trying to fullfill our teenage lust. From not being able to find a partner, having parents home, sneaking into bedroom windows and of course the constant pregnancy scare. What us youth dont realize is that all these issues are virtually non exsistant for senior’s.  Seniors generally live on their own with no kids or parents to tie them down. This means that whenever the mood strikes them they are free to get down to buisness and engage in the beautiful act of “coitise” as expressed in “The Big Bang Theory”. Seniors do not have the everyday stress of work due to retirement. Having the body and mind more relaxed enables seniors to feel more sexually inclined and enjoy the experience more. For example Large populations of seniors living in florida can enjoy a game of shuffleboard then retreat to there domiciels for either victory sex or comforting loss sex.  Due to the rising popularity of procedures like vesectimiy in men and the natural biological change in women menopause, pregnancy is not an issue for senior citizens. Therefore as long as a monogamous relationship is pursued seniors need not wear protection increasing pleasure and reducing sress while enjoying sexual intercourse. 

                        The senior population has the largest number os singles in the planet. With such a wide pool of individuals who are able and willing to engage in sexual activity its relativley easy to find partners. With instiututions such as seniors homes websites for dating and a rising seniors social scence its even eisier to “make the beast with two backs”( William Shakespears Othello) than ever before.  It is often said to respect the wisdom that our elders impart with us and in many cultures to seek their council in many situations. With all the years seniors have under their belts they are sure to have some very interesting knowledge and valuble skills in the sack. It may be awkward to concieve at first but your grandmother may know how to give an amazing fellatio and your grandfather may have some moves that would blow a girls mind. So if your ever in need of some sex advice why not ask an older citizen, they might just give you some of the most practical wisdom you will ever get. Sexual intercourse is a very effectife tool for determining how your health will progress. Seniors who are able to fully experience sex can infer that they are on a relativley healthy path for later years while seniors who experience challenges such as erectile dysfuction, heart pelvations or mobility issues may be just the early warning they need to seek medical advice to live a longer healthier life. Along with all the fun and pleasure seniors can derive from a healthy sexual relationship, there are also numerous other benefits it can have on the ageing body.  


In () study on sexual intercourse and its beneficial effects on the ageing body, () presented a number of interesting and widley unknown benefits that continued sexual activity into older age has been shown to cause.  () first benefit was that sexual intercourse at least three times a week makes the biological effects of ageing less pronounced. It will reducce notable cosmetic changes such as wrinkles, greying of hair and a healthier glow to skin due to reduced stress levels. Sex is a pysical activity and thus burns calories helping to stimulate weight loss and increase metabolic rate. As a physical activity it also causes the brain to release endorphins which are natural chemicals in the body that act as pain killers and reduce anxiety. In men sex stimulates the release of growth hormones and testosterone, and in women the release of estrogon. These hormones help to strenghten bones and muscles in the body which is a key component of seniors retaining their independence as they age.

                        Sex stimulates the release of chemicals in the body that help to naturally boost the bodies immune. This is extremely important in ensuring that seniors are less suseptable to disease and infections. Sex helps to promote a healthy balance between pysical and mental wellness within the body. It provides a gateway for intamacy which is often ignored in many relationships and helps to fill the void of free time that many seniors find themselves with. () last point stated that by continuing sexual intercourse throughout life will preserve your natural vigour beyond middle age and have higher levels of actively produced sex hormones. One prime example of this last point is hedonism rick, a no reservations love making machine at the ripe age of fifty-five years of age. The last major benefit of a healthy sex life in older age was presented in () relationship anaylisis study. It showed a direct correlation between a heathy sex life in relationships and a reduced rate of divorce and adultary in older couples by almost thirty-five percent. Clearly sexual intercourse has many benefits for the aging person, and with physical activity a whole host of benefits are introduced for the seniors sex life.


While sex is a form of physical activity, there is nor replacemnet for high qualtiy physical activity such as weight lifting, running and swimming. These will yield better overall results than sex alone, and have additional benefits that enhance the sexual experience. In () he outlined five key benefits of physical activity on sexual relations speciffically for older adults. The first key component in the study was maintainging body composition. By being fully able bodies seniors are not only fully self capable of everyday life tasks, but also less likey to have injuries while engaged in sexual intercourse. For example an older couple who does regular yoga may be able to pursue more advanced and excotic sexual positions because of their enhanced flexability, muscle strenghten and bone strenth.  The second benefit ties into body compostion, in the relation that the better your compostion, the more attractive your bodies sculpt is to the opposite sex. It would be nice to think that personality alone is the determinging factor when choosing a sexual partner, but unless excessive alcohol is involved it most certainly is not the norm. We require pyhsical attraction to our sexual partners and therfore by seniors maintaing physique through physical activity they are more attactive and more likely to be engaged in sexual activity. As another befefit, combining body compostion and highend physical attractiveness boots seniors elf esteem, making it more probable they will pursue sexual activity as well as maintaining a positive self image as they age.

                        The third aspect is the boost in energy levels that seniors receive from maintainging a quality exercize regime. With increased energy comes better stamina and generally a more positive and upbeat attitude throughout life. With these advantages in hand seniors will be more inclined to engage in multiple sexual encounters througout the week, along with being able to have increasingly prolonged sexual intercourse. The fourth aspect is the natural increase in sexual drive that comes from pysical exercize. Physical activity helps to release sex hromones in the body that would otherwise steadily decline in sedentary seniors. In short this aspect ensures that seniors are kept hornier and happier throughout the senescence experience with physical activity. The fifth and final aspect related to pysical  activity is the increase in strenght of sexual sensations, or more directly orgasms during intercourse. Orgasms are the peak of the sexual experience and can be triggered multiple times in women and once in men during sexual intercourse. They are controlled by our limbic or autonomic system accompanied by quick sucessive muscle contractions in the pelvic region, and potentially full body contractions as well as surges of blood flow. Pysical Activity strenghtens our muscles and gives better blood circulation. Therefore muscle contractions are stronger and blood flow better making the ensuing orgasms more intense than with sededtary seniors. In is suggested that keagles which are generally prescribed for pregnant women in prepaeration for shild birth should also be utilized by women wishing to experience more sexual pleasure. We can infer that from () study, more exercize will most likely result in more love making for the older adult population. The reulting effect is seniors who will be much happier and confident as they age.


In Dr. Phillip Whitten’s study on the effects of swimming and sex we can paint an even more detailed picture of how physical activity can benefit sex for seniors.  The study was conducted on one hundred and sixty masters swimmers both male and female between tha ges of forty and eighty throughout the united states. Whitten wanted to discover if their was a relationship between vigerous exercize or in this case swimmming, and sexual interest and activity. More directyl Whitten wanted to anaylize if idividuals who exersize regularily have more active and fullfilling sex lives than sedentary individuals in the same age range.  Whitten determined that contary to popular stereotypes aging individulas, and in greater number athletic ageing individuals retain sexual interest as they age. Whitten found that ninety-seven percent of those in their forties and ninety-two percent of those sixty and older reported being sexually active with a partner. Of those that were sexually active, one hundred percent reported having sex at least once a week. Whittens senior swimmers made love an average of seven point one times per month, abouth the same as twenty-six to thirty-three year olds in the general population. Not only were Whitten’s swimmers having sex more ofetn, but were enjoying their sex more. Ninety-four percent of the swimmers in the entire age range reported having better and more sensational sex than those of the general populace. In entireity we Can take the five aspects of () study and easily attribute them to the overwhlming success of Whitten’s results. While pysical exercize may enhance the sexual experience for seniors there are still even more ways of maximizing ageing sexual intercourse.


Maximizing the sexual experience for seniors can be easy or hard depending on two major variables; willingness to seek knowledge and lifestyle choices.  The willingness to seek out knowledge can be hard for some seniors. Many seniors are uncomfortable talking abut sex or simply dont know which avenues to look down in order to find pertinent and usful information, especially with the challenge of many not knowing how to use the internet.  When seeking knowledge the first resource for seniors hsould be their doctor. Doctors provide valuble information on safe sex practices for preventing sti’s, can asses weather you are physically able to pursure sex, and might even have suggestions on how to overcome biological changes that come with ageing. Knowledge can also be assertained from other sources such as books on how to be more creative with love making or the karma sutra. In general the best best place of knowledge is what seniors gain from each other. By asking their partner what they are interested in or looking for in sexual intercourse it is often much eaisier to choose which avenues to pursue for knwoledge.

                        The lifestyle choices that can be made are those that are recommended to the entire populace. Other than physical activity, seniors should try to eat a healthy and well balanced diet in accordance with the canadian or united states food guides. Specifically some foods like pinapple have been said to enhance the natural flavours of the body when performing oral sex. Like everyone else, seniors are recommended to stop smoking in order to imrove cardiovascular and overall health. Finally even if sexual intercourse is not an option, other affectionate actions such as hugging, kissing and holding hands contribute to much needed intimate human contact. For example, the old couple you see holding hands at the mall usually drwas the reaction “awe that is so cute”.  While there are many ways to enhance the sexual experience, the are also challenges that naturally come with the senescence process.


As with the game of life, seniors may experience challenges with sexual intercourse. These can range from naturally occuring biological changes to other medical conditions. Seniors may find that it takes a longer period of time for them to become aroused and achive a constant state of relative arousal during intercourse. This is due to the natural breakdown of nerve fibres and muscle tissue as we age. Seniors may find that they lack the stamina they once had in younger years. Even with physical activity our stamina will steadily decline and thus make intercourse shorter than in earlier sgtages of life.

                        As women age they may experience more discomfort during intercourse due to biological changes, this can be counter acted by using lubricants to ease friction. Water based lubricant should always be used if a condom is being worn as oil based lubricants will breakdown the latex.  In men erectile dysfunction is very common and in some cases is an inevitbale part of ageing. With new prescription drugs such as viagra, cialis and enzyte men can carry on regular sexual activity with conformation from their medical prefessional.  Obese seniors may find that manovering during sexual intercourse is challenging. This can be overcome by using certain positions for eaisier access, and may require some creativity. And as with senescence in general medical conditions such as arthritis, hypertension and conflicting prescription drugs pose challenges to sexual intercourse for seniors. Arthritis may make intercourse painful, but may combated by low impact aquatic sex. Hypertension means no inverted positions, and seniors may have to make love at a slower or moderate pace. Prescription drugs may interfere with other medications such as viagra, or may have adverse effects on energy levels of seniors. While most challenges may be worked around or adapeted, such as the different equipment used in yoga, there are some risks that are not so easily worked around.


While there are risks associated with sexual activity in older age, there are luckily not a numerous amount. As it is clearly evident in this paper, many seniors still have sexual desires, combine that with the many single seniors in nursing homes and you may have an epidemic on your hands. Without the knowledge for protected sex or even the free condom jar that we university students take for granted, Seniors are spreading sti’s. In () study it was found that in the last five years nursing homes across norht america have had an average increase of sti’s among patients and patrons of thirty percent. It would seem that we need to not only educate the young on safe sex but they older population as well.  Fratality is a natural biological change of ageing. While it can be slowed it can not be all together stopped. With that in mind seniors must be aware that strenuoes or complicated positions, as well as crazy manovering or vigerous love making may result in bones breaking or limb dislocation. Seniors must take extra care not to slip during intercourse and may even consider a slower more intimate form of love making to the wild stallion love making of there youth. Overall the risks of sex for seniors which can be planned for and avoided in some cases are numerousley outweighted by the advantages of sexual intercourse in older age.


By examinging the entirety of this paper one could infer that many of the things that apply to sexual intercourse for seniors can be applied to younger age groups. Like a retirement savings plan, all adults should have a retirement sex plan. Investing not only financhily but funacnhily in a seniors future can make all the difference in terms of a healthy lust filled romantic relationship. Seniors are interested and able to make love contrary to societys misconceptions. Seniors even have advantages in their love lifes that us younger folk wish we could have. Sex enhances senescence, and when supplemented with pyhysical activity makes for one confident, healthy attractive older individual. Seniors have the ability to maximize their experience with a variety of avenues to choose from, and while there are challenges and risks associated with seniors intercourse, the benefits far outweigh the negatives. In closing, sex is fun, so why not enjoy a lifetime of fun. 

Remember only boring people are bored.

Cheers, bdidds

why i love to dance

One of the few things i can think of that has been a constant in my life since i was young is my love of dance. From the very start i loved the feeling it gave me, how i could become lost in the moment and express myself in such a pure form. In school i think i was one of the few people that loved the dance unit, from line dancing to couples or group dance, if there was a good beat and new steps to learn i applied myself wholeheartedly, and that seems so special to me because there are very few things i willingly apply myself to. I went to the nutcracker ballet with my mom in elementry and even a big figure skating show, i was always in awe and facination at how the human body could move so beautifully. In high school I thrived on the foundation that my physed teacher set, more or less “girls love a guy who can dance” and with my large stature when it came to doing flips and spins i never had a shortage of female partners to dance with. I was lucky enough to make an awesome friend jamie parker in university who taught a western swing class completely free for anyone who was interested, and i even attended a class on traditional african dance, so many different facets of the art amaze me. I can think back to when i stripped in montreal and when i was done one of the stippers asked me if i got dared to do it, i was just smiliong and replioed “nah man, i just love to dance”. This past year dance has become increasingly important to me, through allot of the mental and emotional struggles i face i know that i can always dance to forget and to release. When i got to the club its to dance and to hear good music, not to pick up girls, especially since all the dancing makes me way to sweaty to look attractive lawls. Its almost like a spirituality, my mom said even if you dont bealive in god you should still have some sort of spirituality and i think i finally understand what she was talking about. LMFAO and party rocklng got me started on shuffling, since the day i saw the music video i started to learn how to shuffle spending hours on end just moving and learning how to flow. It even won me a contest. As of late I have become completely immersed in all styles of shuffling from smooth style to the hard dance melbournce shuffle. I hope I countinue to evolve and grow with dance and if i know one thing its that i will never stop dancing. remember only boring people are bored

Cheers, didds                                      

why its always bros before hoes

This is dedicated to my buddy rick who is going through some tough stuff right now. if I can give one piece of advice its that no matter how much you miss someone who has hurt or left you, you need to remember that they are always worse off without you then you are without them, do the things you love, surround yourself with friends and always have a good time. This is gonna help you stay away from the negative stuff man. It took some time to truly understand this but its always bros before hoes. No matter what women will come and go but your best friends who care about you and are always there for you are going to be there forever. when a guy is in a relationship just remember that you need to make time for both of the important groups in your life, and really they should mesh because if they both mix well then you are always going to have a positive setting where you don’t have to be two different people depending on who you are hanging out with. My one friend who has always done this flawlessly is tanner, no matter what he has always made time for his friends and always mixes whatever girl he is dating with his friends and that’s one of the reasons I have so much respect for him. And just so I don’t seem one sided.. girls just take everything I am saying and apply it to yourselves, I like the phrase clits before dicks. In closing Ricky boy you know I am always there for you and I know everything I would do for you, you would do for me #seekbromance. remember only boring people are bored


Cheers, didds

why im chasing my childhood

When i look at the general society today the general population has allot of sadness in their lives, and allot of coImagemplication and un needed stress. simply put with being so busy or following the guidelines set forth by society or the group you hang out with and what is thought to be dumb, or childish or uncool in or world can leave people in the dark. The way i have recently found to combat this problem is with embracing my childhood. I realized i had the best time as a kid than i have ever had in my entire life. I played games outside i always hung with my friends, i played sports, videogames and always loved to have fun, you could pretty much say i was party rockin at a young age. I could walk upto any kid and just say hey man wanna go play? everyone in school knew each other and i got to go skiing and mt biking with my friends everyday instead of work. I got to give a shout out to everyone in ranchlands that i still talk to today for giving me an amazing and fun childhood. then around grade ten things started getting complicated which s probabl tru for many highscool kids. Suddenly i had to work for money, i worked weekends so i never partied and i couldnt ski as much and had to quit mt biking. i didnt hang out with my friends as much . then when i got a girlfriend i didnt hang with my friends at all and and i started to complicate my life and try to grow up to fast and ended up being very unhappy, for instance sex is something you never miss before you have it but after its happend and im speaking for most men we just want more, and thats very hard for me because i will only sleep with a girl if i want to have a relationship with her. Unfortunatley my unhappiness was really my own fault, my girlfriend at the time was very special and the reason i was unhappy was because i didnt balance the many things i loved with my one main love at the time, what iv learned is that by not being able to balance all the things i loved together it made me a very big asshole without even realizing it.so now iv come full circle, im playing my favorite sport rugby, im hanging out with my friends all the time, im dancing and party rockin like never before and im happy because even though my last few relationships didnt work out i embreaced my inner child and ultimatly was much happier as a result. And the best part it i can do it in a mature mannaer, for instance i dont drink alcohol at all anymore and havnt for over a year and now i party and have more fun than anybody else and get to make sure all my friends are safe by driving to the clubs or home from other parties. And i have found solace in my old videogames like my n64, cartoons from when i was little and my new cps2500. overall if i can give one pice of advice. fuck what anyone thinks take something from your childhood that made you happy and just get back into it, the naustalgia and fond memories you had will flood back and you can still incorporate it into your “grown up” but with more happiness. Ask anyone who really knows me, i was a crazy little kid, and now im a crazy big kid. And i love being me every moment. Remember only boring people are bored.

Cheers, didds

why chodes are so thick

In laymans terms a chode is a male reproductive organ/cock/penis/wang/dick that is thicker in girth or width than than the length of the shaft of said jhonson. or if you want the urban dictionary version click here. I bring this up on the occasssion that i have met two men in my life with rather thick chodes. one is my great friend Christian Chode Garber and the other Jack Chode Mckaskill in the flesh. lets first start with jacks story. after leaving the club in montreal i was making fun of jack for ahving a small penis. jack was quite inebriated and promptly said… oh yeah well i bet mines thicker. he then proceeded to pull out that thick chode of his to which i and the girls walking past us on the street were stunned. All i could say was yes jack that is a magnificently thick chode if i ever need to clog a pipe or plug a leek im calling you. now on to christians story. christian is one of my best friends and i love him like a guy i would have sex with if some dude was like he man if you dont fuck him im gonna kill you so id nail him because thats what friends do. they bang each other in crazy circumstances where either parties life could be on the line. anhoo i got off track so christian is a thick legged white pale sexy short chode, i mean like lord of the rings gimli dwarf thick. we had fully discovered the tru potential of his chodeness in montreal and as an aside allot of crazy shit went down in montreal. We learned that he had a rather larege urethre in which he could sitck the heads of q tips, and when the q tip went in one of his testicles rose higher than the other, like the lighter object on scaes or jesus who dosnt exist flying to heavin on a winged unicorn powered by pixi dust. you have not seen thickness until you have seen this guy squat benchpress and then wip that chode out for the showers, if you got that chode across the face it would be like hitting a rather thick anaconda. why didnt the chicken cross the road, why? because the thick chode was in the way. Im pretty sure most banks could do away with their safes/vaults and use christians chode because it is thicker than any metal door could ever be. and yo know what i think there may be a place for chodes in this world, like for whores who cant get filled up anymore and need 2l coke bottles but can actually use a chode instead. yes its a magical word to say, like i made up a native american pow wow dance song which more or less comprises the word thickness, and chode and thick in a whole bunch of different pitches. actually come to think about it you could really make any words into a native pow wow dance song. try it youll probably make an awesome song or any words you here that day you will automatically turn into a song. see and if i had not been thinking about chodes at this exact moment then i would have never some up with these insights. once again proving that the power of the chode has no bounds to which a human on this celestial plane can be tethered. well i wish you all a very thick weekend and if i can make one suggestion it be that wheather making cookies or cake, or giving you dad a fathers day card or hug, or even sex with someone, make it thick. remember only boring people are bored.

Cheers, didds

why the fleshlight is one of the greatest inventions of all time

So after having a heated disscussion at martys house for about half an hour i have decided the fleshlight is amazing. It is literally the roylls royce of masturbating, you cannot find a better ride. If you are not getting laid this instant or have never had sex and are faced with fear of pre mature ejaculation or just never feeling the smooth sweet touch of not an ugly woman then you need a fleshlight. I bought two of my best friends fleshlights  or  speciffically the flight for their birthdays and they were the most fucking excited guys iv ever seen in the world. a black man once said do not buy them for they stay tighter than the tightest women and will draw you from reseeding our lands. well its true i know some guys who will gladly take the light of the flesh over women sometimes, its like thay need to walk through moridor with it in order to complete the epic quest of the ring. hoenest to jebus every man should have one, girls get dildos and you know what its healty to masturbate, it gets rid of tension and makes you feel better, everyone should get to feel better. especially ugly people who should not pro create, and shirt ripping spooks like ryan wilks, or people who arnt smart enough to get into collage. Fleshlights for the rich, fleshlights for the poor, fleshlights so desperate fat guys dont spend more money on the whores. chode and rick, i bid thee good strokes on the morrow of hinder day, go forth and crusade across the shafts of chodeinhimer top the fields of ice cream vanilla to claim your prize in the grand cosmic scheme. seriousley the best $100 dollars you could ever spend in your life, guys, it will actually keep you from cheating on your girlfriend, if you have a long distance relationship you could actually have good phone or webcam sex with this. i honestly cant think of any negatives about something thast brings so much joy to those who use it. may we unite in our quest for world male fleshlight supremecy, hail moose brother. ps im not sure if im awake ro asleep right now. remember only boring people are bored.

Cheers, didds

why its all about the “U”

This past week I travelled to victoria bc for the second annual national university sevens rugby tournament with the Mount Royal University team or as we called ourselves the “U”, as in what school do you go to? the U the only university that matters. One of my best buddies Heinrich couldn’t make the trip because of some recent illness and I just wanna say im sorry you couldn’t come bro, hope your getting better and that you’re gonna rock it next year at the tourney. My other buddy Amelio who I brought out to practise a few months ago got to play his first ever games of rugby and aside from not being the greatest tackle maker made some good plays and had a lot of fun, he even broke his thumb and got a badge of honor. We finished second in our pool on day one after starting out with a close call to RMC then a big loss to Uvic, not a big deal since they are awesome and then fucked the shit out of UBC Okanogan. The Second day we had a close loss to western Ontario 14-0, considering we lost to them 70-0 last year and they won the tourney i think that’s pretty good, we then proceeded to steam roll over U of A and U of C to win the bowl, super stoked for the boys and if you want to watch the games you can do so by clicking on this word. The rest of the trip was epic. I cut off the sleeves of my team shirt and customized the back to make it way more awesome. I also managed to spill some chili on it within an hour and so decided that at every meal I would collect a new and unique stain from a food source. We went out for all you can eat sushi that night at Yokohama and for two and a half hours we cleaned the place out until we were pretty much forced to leave, plus me and Jeff were totally getting the waitress horny and she just wanted to leave so she wouldn’t cheat on her small penis boyfriend, and I forgot to wear my shirt. but no worries I just stole a bottle of soy sauce and took it home to get a nice salty stain going. later Amelio brought some chicks back to the room but one was a dragon and the other one he was friends with and didn’t want to have a three-way with, on the plus side I was only wearing my boxers the whole time and the sloots were checking me out hardcore. The next night we went out to boston pizza for dinner which is one of my favorite restaurants, I always hit the bp lounge for the ufc fights and then rolled home after some ass rape and passed out in my bed after a tiring day. after the U rolled the bowl final we proceeded to raid superstore of their white jeans in the ladies section. pretty crazy when twelve dudes role in and clear out your entire years worth of white jeans in five seconds, the chicks working there were pretty shocked and obviously aroused at the same time. after adjusting my moose knuck in the jeans to just the right proportion I headed to kangaroo court in which I got the most charges out of anyone but really couldn’t do shit because I don’t drink anymore, fuckers tried to make me waitress as punishment but I reminded them that I was the designated driver and they could s my d if they didn’t want a ride. we then headed to the velox rugby club house for some festivities. the rule there is if you get shutout in any game you have to run naked around the field. lets just say a lot of boys including Amelio had to run naked. their was a lot of cold small dick waving around this night. we then headed to the club and I somehow got in wearing my white jeans and food stained sleeveless shirt, oh wait it’s because im the fuckin diddler!!!! hola. After a night of intense dancing and grinding up on the boys as well as seeing my buddies Josh Bently and Robbie Anderson we headed home to fall asleep around three in the morning. woke up and drove to the airport and on the way dujay was throwing up out the door of the van beside us, fuckin soft cock. rolled back into Calgary tired but proud to rep the U. if you would like to see photos from the tourney click here  ps some awesome songs to listen to

Seek bromance, destroy them with lazers, call me mabe, young and wild and free

remember only boring people are bored

Cheers, didds.


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