The Dragonfly Forest


Tuesday, March 31, 2015

Understanding the Time Paradox & Why People Do What They Do

Because of Day-light Savings Time I have been thinking a lot about Time.  When I think about Time I can’t help but think about Dr. Philip Zimbardo & John Boyd’s book – “The Time Paradox: The New Psychology of Time That Will Change Your Life.”   Our behaviors and decisions relate to how we perceive time.   The different time perspectives consist of:  Future, Past (positive & negative), Present-Hedonistic, and Present-Fatalistic.   By understanding a person’s perspective of time we are able to empathize with the person and have a better comprehension regarding choices and behaviors.    We enter the world as Hedonistic Presented centered – we want it and we want it NOW!  As we get older some of us change that perspective based on our life experiences, culture, family values, religious beliefs…  

Here is a brief overview of each orientation:

Future:  behaviors are dominated by a striving for future goals and rewards; focus is on if-then reasoning, probabilistic thinking, and logical analysis; and good at delaying gratification

Past:  behaviors and choices are made based on recalling similar situations that did or did not work in the past; rituals and traditions play important roles in their lives; suspicious of the new and different; most prone to prejudices; and have a stable sense of self over time

Present - Hedonistic: behaviors are self-indulgent, playful and focused on things that bring immediate pleasure; avoids things that involve much effort, work, planning, or unpleasantness; often do poorly in academics because there is little concern for future consequences; and do well on creative tasks, activities with immediate feedback, sports, and high energy activities.

Present-Fatalistic:  behaviors are a result of feeling helpless and hopeless toward the future and life; believe it does not pay to plan since nothing works out for them as they envision; feel their lives are externally controlled (either by religions values such as being a subordinate to the higher powers or is a byproduct of economic failures/being lower class); believe in luck for changing rather than hard work or planning; superstitious; perform poorly in school/work because they have little external control; and have more psychological problems. 

The ideal Time perspective is to have high scores for Positive Past, Present Hedonism, and Future while having low scores for Negative Past, and Present Fatalism.   

The video presented is only a brief clip from Dr. Zimbardo’s lecture but it will give you a 10 minute visual of how these perspectives influence our lives.  Enjoy!

Thursday, March 26, 2015

How the brain works



Tuesday, March 24, 2015

Learning to let go! Lessons we need to learn

Once, a professor began his class by holding up a glass with some water in it. He held it up for all to see and asked the students, 'How much do you think this glass weighs?' '1 pound!' ....'2 pounds!' .....'3 pounds!' ......the students answered.

'I really don't know unless I weigh it,' said the professor, 'but, my question is: What would happen if I held it up like this for a few minutes?' 'Nothing' the students said.

'You're right, now what would happen if I held it for a day?' 'Your arm could go numb, you might have severe muscle stress & paralysis; have to go to hospital for sure' ventured another student. All the students laughed.

'Very good. But during all this, did the weight of the glass change?' Asked the professor. 'No,' replied the students.' 'Then what caused the arm ache; the muscle stress?

Instead, what should I do?' The students were puzzled. 'Put the glass down' said one of the students. 

'Exactly!' said the professor. 'Life's problems are something like this. Hold them for a few minutes in your head; they seem OK. Think of them for a long time; they begin to ache. Hold them even longer; they begin to paralyze you. You will not be able to do anything.'
It is important to think of the challenges in your life, but EVEN MORE IMPORTANT to 'put them down' at the end of every day before you go to sleep. That way, you are not stressed, you wake up every day fresh, strong, can handle any issue, any challenge that comes your way!
Remember friend

Tuesday, March 3, 2015

Lessons from The Breakfast Club






"Dear Mr. Vernon,
and an athlete,
and a basket-case,
a princess,
and a criminal.
Does that answer your question?
Sincerely yours,
The Breakfast Club"


Monday, March 2, 2015

Courage is acquired

You are not born with courage.  Courage can only come from experience.  When you overcome an obstacle or challenge in your life you develop and gain courage.  Courage is an acquired trait.  So every time you are going through some tough times in your life remember that you are making yourself stronger, you are building courage!