Just For Fun




Copyright 1997 by Janice D. Green


Q: Why do bees hum?
A: Because they don't know the words.

Q: How do bees get to school?
A: They take the buzz.

Q: When do bees fly with their legs crossed?
A: When they can't find the BP station.

Q: What did the queen bee and the drone do before they flew away from the hive?
A: They hired a bee bee sitter.

Q: What goes "Zzub, zzub?"
A: A bee flying backwards.

Q: What grade did the students get on their pollination experiment?
A: They all got B's.

Q: What does a bee use to brush her hair?
A: She uses a honeycomb.


OOGA AND POOGA -- The First Romance

by David L. Green

Once upon a time, almost before there was time, there was a mighty hunter named Ooga. While other hunters were chasing wooly mammoths, sabre-toothed tigers, and brontosauruses, Ooga became the first specialist. His prey was the wiley honeybee. He was tough. He had no fear of bees.

Whenever Ooga's hunting expeditions were successful, he would gorge himself upon honey. While the honey was delicious, straight up was just too much, and Ooga usually got sick.

One day he came upon a cave with the most wonderful fragrance coming forth. From a hidden spot, he spied on the inhabitants to see what was going on. Shortly, a beautiful young woman, Pooga, came out with a batch of golden biscuits, and Ooga fell in love.

Ooga had never seen or smelled a biscuit. Pooga's tribe had invented farming. They had learned to raise wheat, grind it into flour, and make delicious biscuits.

Ooga waited until she was alone. Then he bounded forth with his club, but she was too fast for him. She grabbed her rolling pin.

"You chauvinist pig! Take one more step and I'll brain you!"

Ooga stopped, confused by this turn of events. He retreated a few steps and stood watching Pooga. He was filled with longing for her biscuits. Then he had an idea so brilliant, that it ranks right up there with the invention of the wheel, of fire, and of gunpowder.

He took his honeypot and held it out as he slowly advanced. Pooga lowered her rolling pin. Then she took the honey pot. It smelled good. Her idea was just as brilliant. She poured some of the gooey, sticky stuff on one of her hot biscuits, and popped it into her mouth.

It was the perfect marriage. Ooga and Pooga. Biscuits and honey. They lived happily ever after.

Ooga is often heard saying, "A biscuit without honey is like a billfold without money!"

A Shirker, Not a Worker by David L. Green
A story offering the bees' perspective on survival, beekeepers, pesticides, God, and the TIME OF GREAT SWEETNESS. Originally intended for children, grades 4-7, adults also find this book highly informative and entertaining. Self published, illustrated, paperback, 24 pages. $5.00 postage paid in US. Payment in US funds only. Click here to order


Click here to go to a bee crossword puzzle.


If have a joke, riddle, or story to share with our readers, please e-mail them to me. I will print your name with what you send me if you like.  Bee sure to say something in your subject line about bees and my web page so I don't think your email is one of the many "junk mail" emails I have been receiving.

...to talk to Jan



Bumble Barf - A humorous approach to marketing honey.

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