Better Swearing

Send your examples of Better and more Colorful and more Adult Swear Words in to Ozideas - with examples of when to use them.
Shock the world with language that is not merely boring, unkind, sex or dirt.

Boring swearing is one of the reasons why many
Australians can't think constructively.

I hope this remark makes you now het up enough to keep on reading for ideas for better swearing.
Let's have more colourful swearing, with stronger words that have not had all the meaning leached out of them - Words that surprise people.Don't swear like sheep.

The two reasons for swearing
are 1. To express your feelings without violent acting up, especially if you do not have a wide vocabulary. 2. To show how manly you are, and shock people. But when even littlies in kindergarten use the two commonest four-letter words, it is rather Immature Adult to think you can shock with the words they use too. If you have only about two to six swear words to use, they stop being useful to express your feelings. You might as well just say "Actually . . ."

In the past

Original Australian swearing.

Australian bullock drivers were famous swearers. The more extensive and imaginative their range of curses and oaths, to get their bullocks moving, the higher their reputation. Never repeat yourself over two hours!

The Great Australian Adjective was Bloody - possibly but not certainly derived from ByOurLady, but by its users intended to be bloody.

This is a good strong word - C Dennis' Australia-aise rings well. It's a growly get-up-and-go word and it does not suffer from repetition.

You can get some good rousing swear words from the past, including many words that sound really terrible, but you may not be sure what they mean - from the Anglo-Saxon, from Chaucer, Shakespeare - Pick a Word, forsooth!

Swearing used to be indicated in public print by dashes or printers marks such as @#$%^&* - possibly today such translation would have to be limited to #####****. In films there could be blips.

Today writers and producers could set models for swearing for all of us viewers, listeners and readers, from tots to totterers, by translating the swear words assumed to be used by all their characters into new and more vigorous language invented for the purpose of the entertainment, or taken from our rich heritage of British and foreign dialects.

At present we have a vicious spirals with swear-words. If our entertainment has to include the commonest swear words on the grounds that to leave them out is dishonest and not realistic - this a big fib.

This is a big fib because think of all the other real things that it never bothers to put into our entertainment. But when our entertainment repeats the 'coarse language' for 'Mature Audiences' or not, then all the viewers whose own real lives do not contain these boring words now have them entered into their consciousness. And all actions begin in the mind.

And so, from a core of people who commonly replaced the Great Australian Adjective with sex and excretion, and are shown on screen and air doing this for our entertainment, the spiral spins out, until a teenager will tell you that teenage fiction is 'not realistic' unless any old conversation is full of these two words because 'every teenager' talks like that. And so more teenage listeners, readers and viewers learn to talk like that too.

Teachers such as Chris Wheatley writing on Sex and Swearing in Schools have argued that 'School texts can be obscene because life can be obscene.' What about 'texts can be idealistic and noble because life can be idealistic and noble'?

The short answer to that may be one of two words, but that is not good enough.A dults need more colorful language than 'f-' used as an abusive swear word. It's meant to be a good old Anglo-Saxon word that should not degrade sex. The use of any sexual word for swearing degrades sex. And that is a pity, because over the past thirty years public words for intercourse have downgraded in a series of steps from 'making love' to 'having sex' to 'bonking' to words contemptuous of the other partner, all loving gone.

And so now there are teenagers and even older people who have no idea about 'making love' as the highest sexual pleasure, and so they try to extend their pleasure by going the other way, moving into extremes of physical contact such as bondage, S&M and what used to be called 'perversions' because they treat other people as objects only.

'Shit' is a dirty word; it does something to him that gives as well as him that receives. I was once in a minivan on a four hour trip with some decent but frustrated and linguistically challenged people. The van could have been dumped at Werribee sewage farm well before the end.

There are some very funny jokes about shit, including how the different philosophies of life deal with it. But just imagine - if people used a different word each time they were facing a mess. Short and strong like Mog Gog or Bog DogGon - longer and messier like Explosions of Treacle or a Fissioning S-womp .

Intelligent people whose vocabulary is indecently larded with only two words commit a sort of social treason. It may not hinder their own thinking, but it helps make it harder for other people to think, because they are more easily stonkered when relying on only those two words cut off their reasoning and their imagination.

(More to come soon)

It could help to get the perambulating iambic kenspeckled Australian public off its scunny dunnies and starting to use their emboggled minds to think with, if they started swearing better. And once they started thinking, by hopscotch, who knows what panglossica could reperticulate? Shock horror! Dear me!