Suspension | Autism PDD


I get what your saying about the positive interventions, there are some listed on her BIP, I just don't think they are really being enforced.  I know I have to be more persistent when it comes to issues involving my dd at school, I'm trying.

The problem your dd was having with running out of the class, my dd does that sometimes too. It makes sense to have an area in the classroom for her to go to. I don't think they do anything like that. Usually she would just go to her SE teachers class.

How do you get to Paula Kruft's site? I am very interested in seeing it.
One thing I would add, is to really emphasize that you want positive
interventions, that are proactive. In other words, that address your dd's
needs in the classroom.

For example, my dd had a problem with running out of the classroom.
But instead of taking her out, which didn't really do anything for her, I
asked that she be given a break area in the room. And that she be taught
to self-regulate. That is, to give herself a brief break, and then continue
her classwork. It can be any space in the room, just a beanbag chair. It
worked! It sends two messages. One that she doesn't have to leave the
room, and two, that she can learn her own calming techniques that won't
result in escalating to outbursts. Another thing that was done for her
was the creation of visuals that the teacher could use to communicate
with her ( and the rest of the class), without stopping. She used a
'teacher time' card on a stick that would signify no talking, etc. There are
so many things like this than can help.

The bottom line is, they have to address what is impeding her learning.
Does she need more visuals, a visual schedule, a timer that might help
with tasks? All of these are the kind of proactive things you can ask for.

if you go to Paula Kluft's website, she has some great printouts, and one
is on removing kids from the classroom and why the emphasis should be
on finding the right supports.

Melissa, please check with a professional organization in your area. What we can tell you on here is not what a professional that specializes in this can tell you, which will be exact. I know that, when a state doesn't accomodate, you can go federal law level. Never go by what someone says they can and can't do, unless you talk to someone that will advocate for you. I did this before--took advice from someone off the web and found out, later that...I should have done something I didn't, because I took it as accepted.

I don't know where you are but, find the local autism society and even the advocasy for disabilities in your area--and call them, tell them what is happening and get someone to talk to you.

I hate seeing your child being disciplined for something they don't understand is wrong--it is part of their make up because of the spectrum, if you understand what I mean by that. They could expel taylor daily--but don't, nor will they ever. They would be discriminating against what is part of her "technically named" disability.


Please let us know what you are told, and know we are here for you (((hugs))).



Thanks a lot, I really appreciate it.

Actually I just got back from Melanies school. I'm not surprised though, I was waiting for someone to call which they did. I went and was told that was again hitting, spitting and kicking people and things. This time she was suspended for 2 days and we're suppose to have a meeting on Wednesday for the manifestation determination and to talk about what needs to be done. So I a little more prepared then the last meeting. I will be getting in contact with a professional group that can help her. We'll see.

Melissa, just wondering, as I know our principal became more lenient when I mentioned making a MEDICAL Appt. for my son (we had already planned to medicate him for ADHD) ... do you think this might be a (subtle, legally UNPROVABLE) way of the school pressuring you to medicate her?


Wow..I think we can get together for a playdate! Taylor and Mel will get along fine! lol..sorry, I am not making fun--but yeah, Taylor does everything but spit--thankfully, she hasnt figured out how to do that

Sometimes, their aide can also be an issue--like with the rest of us, sometimes you just dont click together. Since finding Taylor's aide and her staying with her for these years, it has been a huge blessing. Ones I had before didn't have the patience and really didn't know what to expect with how she differed from others they had worked with..she is pretty severe and stubborn too.

I do worry about what will happen when she leaves elem. school and goes off..but I have a little less than 2 years to go--so I am hoping a lot of this changes, since the aide is so devoted..and then hoping I don't have to worry.

They don't have a behavior room/cool down room there? I know they did back home and here too--It gave them time to pace, stim, whatever to get through the meltdowns.

Also, maybe asking for a new aide? I don't know==throwing things out here of things I have tried to help you.



ISS isn't actually on her BIP. So how would I get it taken off? On her BIP its just lists the problems and then the Interventions. It doesn't list anything about suspensions just getting written referrals and office visits when it comes to her getting physical.

They suspend her because she gets physical. And theres really nothing on the BIP that is effective because no one has found anything that works for her. It seems to list all these things for if shes just not wanting to do work or not listening but when it comes to her getting physical the only things I see for that are her getting written up and getting a referral and then theres office visits.  

Just from the one time I've been in to observe she usually ends up going faster then the teacher, my daughter does. She seems to finish the work before any of the other kids. Her aide, who I talk to most of the time, is sorta friendly I guess. Honestly the first time I saw her, she just looked like the type of person that didn't like kids. If I saw her walking down the street and didn't know she was I never would have guessed that she worked with kids. The aide Melanie had last school year, she didn't seem to have many problems with. That lady was very friendly and always smiling. But this one this year seems to be the opposite. And when I go in to talk, shes sitting there telling how Melanie had hit/spit on her and she looks like shes going to cry or something. I don't know, that just seems kind of strange to me. I don't know if shes ever dealt with a child with autisum or not but she sure doesn't act like it.

Thanks a lot
I think tomorrow when I go in to drop her off I'll ask about sitting in on the class, so maybe I'll get to see her acting out and see what exactly is going on. That definetly sounds like a plan.  The important thing about an effective BIP is that is must rely on positive
behavior supports and ISS is not really a positive behavior support. Call
an IEP meeting and discuss what you'd like to see. I asked that ISS be
taken off my dd's BIP and the school agreed, because it was shown to be

The FBA must also show what is effective. A positive behavior support
can be things like social stories, written schedules, all designed to
proactive and not reactive.

Another factor you might consider. If the aide is the target of her
behavior that might be the problem. Maybe she is too intrusive by sitting
next to your dd's desk. It can be overwhelming for kids to process both
instruction from the teacher and an aide. I observed my dd in class one
day, and the teacher was doing a math paper with the class, and the aide
was trying to get her going, got completely off where the teacher was
and my dd ended up doing none of it. I asked that when an aide is in the
classroom that she support my dd and the other kids, but that she not sit
with her. There could be other reasons as well. You need to know more
about how they are interacting. Is this person too negative with her. Not
all aides are created equal, unfortunately. Schools tend to look to the kid
as the problem, instead of themselves, IMHO. The BIP is not working. Get another FBA. Although the Principal is within his rights to suspend ANY student unless a Manifestation Determination meeting has found that the misbehavior is a part of the child's disability. THEN the Principal CANNOT suspend. If her behavior gets worse after the ISS, I think you have a case that ISS is actually REWARDING to her. SHe gets out of the stressful situation of school and gets the undivided attention of the Princiapl and teacher. I think there is NO HOPE that suspension will fix the behavior and is likely to make it worse. But the staff won't take that sort of advice from a mere parent. SInce an FBA is an evaluation, it is subject to IEE (search that term here) and you can get the school to pay for you to send in your own expert to do an independent FBA and create a workable BIP.I agree. From what you have written, it sounds to me that when she is overwhelmed, she gets physical in order to get out of the situation. And if the principal and SE teacher both really like her and she likes them - it is totally rewarding her for acting out. I'm not there and only going based on what you've written - but I would definitely get another FBA done. And since theirs doesn't seem to be working and if they can't come up with any other solutions - I would definitely follow tzoya's suggestion of asking for an IEE in writing to get an expert of your choosing to do it!

I might be totally off here but, I am pretty sure they can't suspend for behavior related to a disability. They have to find accommodation to fit your daughter's needs. She isn't doing things because she is a "bad kid". This is all part of her dx, and it sounds like something just isnt right and causing her to become overwhelmed, aggitated and reacting to to it.

Definately call a meeting, and I would contact someone locally, that has experience in behaviors and advocates on rights (every state is different--we have developmental supports and the autism society here for such things), and ask if they can also send out someone to talk to you, or even give you advice on the phone on what to do.

I just hate a child being punished for something they can't control or is happening to them because their services arent taking care of their needs under this spectrum.

Keep us updated.


Thanks for the help.

Tzoya you mentioned that the principal cannot suspend her if her behavior was a result of her disability? I was looking for info relating to that but couldn't find any. Would you know of a site that....says that. I was going to call for another meeting and I would like to bring with me as much info that can help her as I can.

I actually found out this morning when I dropped my dd off that instead of her spending the day with her SE teacher and principal, she'll just be with the teachers aide....i just thought that was funny. I feel like I'm the only one thats aware of whats going on. I mentioned that i wanted to observe her in class, not sure how thats going to go. Hopefully I can go in tomorrow to do that.
Thanks for your help too, Kelly4Jesus. Sorry I didnt even see your post till after I already posted. But my same question goes to you too about where it says they cant suspend her. I've been to many different sites and haven't found anything like that. Just it saying that they can't suspend her for no more then 10 days.

Thanks to all.

Hi Melissa,

This is why you need to contact someone in your local area, that will advocate and tell you exactly what can and can't be done, containing disability-related behaviors. Each state is so different on what alternatives can be done--Back home, we would have the option of autism-only school. Here, it is integrated right into school system so, it is basically just adjusting the IEP with BIP, so accomodation is done to fit the child's needs. Back home, I just looked at the paper for the first time and, the kids with disorders of any sort are now on a waiting list--so that is why it is best to check with your state, and finding out what can be done in the meantime.

The autism society is great for advocation. They came right to my house as soon as I started having problems with neighbors here, calling cops on Taylor's stimmming that "bothered them". They also talked to the school to help make sure I had proper IEP set up (this is when I found out, too late of course that, even though Kansas only had part time kindergarten, because they had been assessed to need more hours than part time, they should have accomodated them by putting them in both programs), and got me a case manager referral to Developmental Supports in my area.

Another one that will email you back with info and check it for you is  They have been a great resource for other issues for me and they might be able to give you contact information concerning your child and the area you live in--so you can get started on a plan to fit her needs.

Let us know how you do, okay?


The phrase your looking for is manifestation determination.  If acting out is because of disability they can't suspend her.  Plus if they are suspended for a certain number of days they have to provide teacers to come to your home.  

The school district (Principal) CAN give an out-of-school suspension for up to 10 school days (ISS doesn't count) for misbehaviors that may be a result of the disability.  The Manifestation Determination meeting MUST take place after the 10 days (totaly per school year).  There is nothing that says a parent cannot ask for a Manifestation Determination meeting BEFORE 10 days of suspension. If it were me, I'd ask for that NOW.  I don't know if the school district MUST comply before the 10 days of OSS, but it's worth asking. Sometimes these meetings are callsed Nexus Meetings because the goal is to see if there is a nexus (connection) between the child's disability and the child's misbehavior.  The Hearing OFficer at the meeting is going to make that determination by looking at the evidence, mainly at the IEP.  So if the IEP is not an accurate reflection of your child's disability, I'd call and IEP Meeting first to make certain that the disability is clearly reflected in the document.  I'd also make sure that you have expert reports (like from a psychiatrist or psychologist) that show that her behavior is autism-related.  This is where a paper trail counts.

Of course, it's always possible that the punishment that has been meted out will actually modify her behavior. In that case, a day out of class will have been worth it.  But i have my doubts that this episode will stops outbursts that your child has little or no control over.

To clarify:  A Princiapl CAN punish a child for behavior that's an outgrowth of the disability for up to 10 days because, before 10 days, there is no proof that the behavior IS an outgrowth of the disability. That proof is shown at the Manifestation Determination meeting.  Once tht meeting determines that the behavior is part of the disability, the Principal can no longer punish the child for that behavior. However, the IEP must change to address this behavior in some way.  But that's the ideal, anyway.

We have basically the same thing in our handbooks/code of conduct here ( KY ).
BUT...when Jake was in 3rd grade, I met with his teacher and the principal and we figured out that suspending Jake was actually a reward for him. From then on out, it's been in school unless he truly harms another, then the school's hands are tied, they have to suspend. Thankfully, this has happened a bare handful of times since then and not at all this year.
In 2nd grade it was so bad that he was suspended 3 times in 2 1/2 weeks. I ended up pulling him out and home schooling for the 2nd semester that year. The school simply did not want to admit there was a problem. I forced the issue by asking for any and every eval I could think of when we started 3rd grade.
He now has a behavior plan in place and other supports as needed. ( such as access to the quiet room if he gets agitated/begins to meltdown and being able to go to his spec ed teacher or the principal if the reg. classroom is too much for him )
Wishing you lots of luck and sending hugs your way.
Okay that is exacting what I've read, that they can punish the child with disabilities for up to 10 days even if the problems were because of the disability.
I was able to find a site htm where it says the same thing but then also says "If your child's behavior is because of their disability, she cannot be punished for it and kept out of school. " And another part says "When there is a manifesation, your child cannot be further disciplined. This means your child cannot be recommended for expulsion or continue to be suspended for that behavior."

So I am kind of confused about that. They say 2 different things. Which do I go by?
The thing with Melanie, she hits but I wouldn't actually say shes being aggressive, she doesn't seem to do it because she wants to hurt you, she does it because she gets upset, frustrated or annoyed. I would say its more of hard pat then an actual hit. I'm not sure how to better describe it.

I know when the teachers aide has problems with my dd she usually takes her to her SE teacher. On her BIP is lists that she can have transition breaks if she feels overwelmed or just wants a break. But I honestly don't think thats being followed. Hopefully I'll get the chance to in tomorrow and observe whats going on.

At the manifestation determination meeting we had last week, it was kind of funny when the SE teacher said that they were definitely following the IEP. It was just the way she said it I guess. She just sounded so sure of herself when I was thinking the complete opposite, that they weren't really doing anything.

The thing is when we lived in NC the school was a joke, they never really seemed to want to help her at all, all they ever really did was call me to come and get her.
But this school (school on military post) at least acts like they want to help. My husband is deployed at the moment and I am just not good at dealing with things like this, meaning the confrontation that I know is getting ready to take place between me and the school.
In my experience mainstream schools are usually not so great at
following IEP accomodations and BIP's. My ds has a very good IEP and BIP
but I have to be a really pushy parent to make sure they are being
followed with consistency by all his staff.
To me it seems like your school is focusing way too much on what your
dd is 'doing wrong'. They need to focus more on addressing her disability
needs appropriatly. Obviously suspension is not what works. You also
mention that not everyone at school seems to be on the same page about
what is going on. That is a big problem at my ds's school also and it is
one reason that for the time being I am calling a once a month IEP
meeting to get everyone on the same page.
I know not everyone will agree with me but one thing I had written in my
ds's IEP is that my ds will be expempt from the district/school discipline
policy and that discipline problems will be addressed appropriate to his
disability through his IEP team. Discipline policy is written for kids with an
age appropriate capability of social skills and the district policy is
typically enforced by a principal who has little understanding of asd.
While my ds still obviously needs intervention when his behavior is
harmful to himself or others he needs to be taught social skills and he
needs proactive interventions instead of punishment. This has worked
very well for us.
You have gotten a lot of good advice. I'd say, be pushy and keep the
focus on how well the schools is doing in addressing your dd's disability
(instead of on your dd doing something 'wrong').
As far as what suspensions count towards the ten days. At least in our
district any and all: at home, in school as well as suspensions from the
Make sure you document conversations with the school and suspensions
for yourself.Sorry, It would help if I spelled her name right. ;-)
It's Paula Kluth, so it's Good luck!

I was told for Monday (In-school suspension day) that she will be spending the day with the principal and her special ed teacher. I was thinking the same thing with the negative scenario. I just don't know what else can be done, as of right now anyways. The school obviously doesn't know what to do and I'm at the moment trying to get her enrolled in Johns Hopkins since they are suppose to specialize in the Pediatrics and hope to find a doctor that can help. At the moment shes only seeing (or getting her prescriptions filled by) a developmental pediatrician.

I agree also when it comes to Melanie getting punished waiting days later till punishment occurs is pointless especially since she really likes the principal and her special ed teacher. I don't get that. Whats the point of suspending a child especially one so young who obviously doesn't completely understand and could care less if she misses school. They don't seem to get that. I don't know what else they could do in place of that but......something needs to change. She usually gets along great with her special ed teacher but when shes not there, Melanie ALWAYS has a really bad day. Another thing they mentioned to me at the meeting as a "heads up" was that her special ed teacher was getting ready to leave for a while, like she'll be gone for a few weeks. So i just need...

I know the school pyschiatrist has come by and observed her a few times and agrees that her behavorial problems are due to her lack of social skills but thats it, nothing changes.

Im sorry but what does dd stand for? I'm kind of new at this. :)

After her first suspension we had the manifestion meeting and had her BIP updated, but nothing really new was added. I didn't really have any ideas or suggestions for them which they kept asking me for. She only does those kind of things at school. At home shes not too bad when shes on her medication, any hitting or anything is a rare thing when it comes to the home. So i can't really help in that area.  

Honestly, I'm not all that great when it comes to talking with people like if they suggest something I usually just go along with it. So I was thinking of waiting till after the doctor person comes to observe her and see what happens before requesting another BIP meeting. I honestly think the things listed on her BIP, they aren't doing. It just seems to easy for her to get a referral. I know she shouldn't be hitting/spitting/kicking but what can anyone really do about it? How is anyone suppose to know when it is going to happen? They don't! So unless she gets her medication changed I don't really see how this problem will inprove or unless her social skills inprove so shes better at letting people know when shes upset, mad, frustrated or annoyed. Its easy to set her off.

She already has an IEP and BIP.

Actually on Thursday the 5th of this month I was called in because of her behavior and I was told by the principal that either Melanie would be getting suspended that day or I could stay with her for the remainder of the day (3hrs) and observe. I didn't really see the point in my staying to observe and of course I chose that. I thought she was actually pretty good. She had a few problems but never got physical.

At the end of the day the principal told me that if Melanie had any problems the following day (Friday) that she would end up getting suspended. of course I had a feeling that I would end up getting a phone call from the school which I did about 3 hrs after dropping her off. Its always the same thing, hitting and spitting. So I went and got her and talked to the principal yet again, and she told me that Melanie would be suspended for Monday. So she went in on Tuesday and Wednesday and did good, thats what I was told. And Wednesday afternoon was the manifestion meeting. They determined that her behavior was a result of her disability and they added a few more things to her BIP. All seemed to be common sense type things though. It was things that the teachers were already doing (supposedly) but weren't actually on the BIP.

Thursday wasn't so good though but she didn't get written up or anything. Friday came and more problems. The principal called to tell me the same thing I always hear about and told me that she didn't want to do the out of school suspension so instead for Monday (tomorrow) that she would have an in-school suspension. Spending her day with the Principal and her Special Ed teacher. Of course both of whom she likes.

What am I suppose to do?
IMMEDIATELY ask IN WRITING for a Functional Behavioral Assessment as the foundation for a Behavior Intervention Plan. Any child can have this, not just a child with a disability.  If your daughter has not yet been evaluated for a possible IEP, I would put in a request to do that to the Special Education Director.  A students doesn't just have to be behind in academics to warrant an IEP. Social skills a behavioral deficits also count.  And, if an IEP is ultimately denied, you can certainly get a 504 Plan put in place.  Students with 504 Plans and IEP receive certain discipline protections after 10 days total during the school year of Out of School Suspension.  A child with a disability can be punished for up to 10 days of suspension before a Manifestation Determination meeting has to take place to figure out if there is a connection between the misbehavior and the disability. If you do not have a doctor's official diagnosis yet, I'd get that.Behavior is the thing that keeps our kids from succeeding -- now and in the future.  Even if our kids cannot be punished because their behavior is a part of that disability, it does not take them, the school or us off the hook for improving that behavior. The only difference is that SPECIAL INTERVENTIONS need to be put in place. Just like special reading programs are put in place if a child cannot learn to read using the regular approach.  All the staff who work with your daughter need to have "preservice" training in how to manage a child with an autism spectrum disorder.  You can ask that the IEP include an outside behavioral consultant to give indirect services (work with the teachers/staff, not directly with the child) so that everyone is using effective interventions and everyone is on the same page. Focus on the FBA/BIP.  The school MUST put effective discipline supports in place. But, if your daughter NEEDS medication, IMHO, you should pursue that, too. There is only so much our kids CAN control.  Schools are LEGALLY PROHIBITED from requiring medication. BUt you, as the parent, have already decided to give meds to your daughter. If those meds are not working optimally, make frequent appointments with the prescribing physician to adjust the meds until the DO work.  Keep a log so that you can keep track of changes and their positive or negative effect.  Have the teachers give yoU DAILY WRITTEN FEEDBACK regarding behaviors. That can be a formal part of the behavior plan.  The schoool is NOT off the hook for creating a better behavior plan just because you plan on adjust meds. Meds cannot make a child behave better. All they do is ENABLE a child to behave better.  The teaching her how to behave part has to be done by the behavior plan. 

Let me start off by saying that all of you were really helpful.

I know at her old school she had a case manager (very b*tchy) honestly Im not sure if she has one here or not. I have to check at the meeting. I know the last one we had no one by that title was there.

We all seem to agree that things need to change regarding Melanie and how she gets disciplined but obviously nothing is changing really. I can't suggest anything and they seem like this is the first child that they have dealt with thats "special". So they don't really help with anything either.

I just imagine theres a big brick wall in front of us (me mainly) and I'm trying to find a wall of breaking it down. I just imagine that its a slow process.

It does seem weird that her meds are not working at all really at school but at home shes the same. I don't get that.  

I am kind of glad though that I do get a break and won't have to worry about whether she gets into trouble at school for the next 2 days or not. I feel bad that she doesn't get any school work during that time but.....

I really do like all the advice. I have a notebook here so I can check notes, so I know what to ask about at the next meeting. I think I might be ready now. :)

So thanks.
Foxl actually my daughter is already on medication, 2 different kinds. One to help with her hyperness and one for your mood swings. The thing is I was recently told that the meds don't seem to be working anymore at school. They are the same at home so I didn't know what to say about that. I had already told them I was going to see about getting her a child psychiatrist to help determine which medicine(s) would be good for her and dosage. She has a developmental pediatrician, hes the one thats been prescibing her her meds. I mentioned the problems at school to him and he only suggested that we put her on a third medication, which I don't really want to do. Hence, why I want to switch to someone else.

Usually when Melanie has to cool down, the aide takes her to the SE classroom. Other than that there really isn't anywhere for her to go.

Actually when we go to the meeting on Wednesday I was going to ask about the aide. Not sure how thats going to work out though. I am kind of nervous. There are 2 first grade classes and the aide goes between the two of them, but is mainly in my daughters class with her. The aide they had at her old school didn't do anything, I really didn't like her at all. But at least here the aide is there, its just Melanie doesn't seem to mesh well with her.

Mel, I am with Fox--I seem to get further when I bring in outside forces--in my case, the case manager from developmental supports--who is also a state-required reporter to SS and to other state officials.

Do you have a case managers there? I had one back home, and she had a DS kid that went through a lot at school (horrible things), so she was a great advocate for me, having been through it, personally. The one I have now, her parents adopted 4 boys with severe challenges, including she has 4 brothers on the spectrum..and really seems to be right there when we have an issue with the Sean's bullying.

When outside names are brought in, it is amazing how fast the school responds. They hope we will just sit there and take their advice, cuz they are professionals isn't every school system..My issues here didnt' start until middle school--each school is different, and run differently and sometimes, it takes one parent to change things and not say, " are right"..not saying that is you. You are right on top of things..keep heading in that direction! The more they know you won't give in, and will fight for what is right for your child, the less they try to intimidate with "we have the right" attitudes.

Keep us posted. PM any time you need to vent.


Oh, if they are saying the meds are not working like before, then I bet that IS part of their intention.  

Sounds like they do not have a good discipline plan in place.  Our school has a uniform plan in place for ALL kids, for various scenarios.  Including a recovery room for meltdowns and behavior crises, and also backup plans when staff are already assisting other children -- it was VERY reassuring to be informed of this plan. 

I would confront your principal or if their response is not satisfactory, even go higher up to district administration, asking WHY they do not have more policy in place to handle crises such as this.

Fox--Amen to that!  Totally agree with you.

Has her behavior changed since the other aide?  

The 2nd aide we had didn't work well with my dd and she started headbanging, biting the aide and other children.  It was because the aide was inadvertently fuelling her frustration... switching routines, expectations and then inadvertently reinforcing.  It was blamed on my dd kinda a  'look what she's doing" and everyday I picked her up she'd be going about something my dd had done... like scratch her.  I started to begin to see the behaviors carry over to home and was going to pull her out because I knew it was mismanagement.  Luckily that aide quit because she wasn't getting paid enough and our 3rd one came in and we've had no incidents at all in over a year.



With the first aide she still had problems but nothing like this year. I have the feeling that the aide this year isn't helping her as much as she thinks she is. My dd has complained a few times saying that she doesn't like the aide because she will tell her that shes not doing her work right. That was a reason I wanted to go in and observe. I was going to mentioned at the meeting on Wednesday about that. I'm not sure if there is a nice way of letting them know that the aide really isn't helping? I don't know what they would even do about that? But I have a list of questions that I've accumulated after looking on different sites and hearing from the other helpful people on here.   

Thanks, I'm glad we both got some help with this thread.
Hopefully we find something that helps my dd and she improves in school. I can't wait to see what happens. A lot of the stress I've had this past couple of months (since school started) is finally starting to subside. 
I really appreciate everyone's help and hope you all can find any help you may need.
Thanks a lot.
This looks good. However, ALL STAFF (including aides) are supposed to get PRESERVICE TRAINING in autism. So there is no excuse for an untrained aide.


You've gotten some good advice throughout this thread.  One thing I'd just add is that, when you look at the BIP, make sure it is a positive intervention plan... In other words, that it is PRO-active, not RE-active.  "If she does X, she'll be removed" is reactive, and negative.  Knowing what triggers her behavior and dealing with the triggers, rather than the behavior, is what the BIP should be focusing on. 

Unfortunately, many BIPs are written so that if a bad behavior occurs, then the child is removed from the classroom, which is what the child was actually wanting in the first place.  If that's the case, all that's done is to reinforce the bad behaviors in order to accomplish the action the child wants - being removed from what was overstimulating her to someplace quiet.  If she's feeling the need to elope (run from class), they need to examine what is triggering that behavior and address that - is she sitting under a vent, is her chair too hard, is some kid behind her constantly tapping his pencil to the point she's overloaded and, as someone pointed out, is her aide the problem?  All of that plays in and should be seriously considered.

Okay this is just to let all those that helped me out know what happened at the meeting, 
I'll just say I was very nervous about going into
the meeting but was happy coming out.

Let me when Melanie goes back to school theres suppose
to be an Autism Tech (thats what they called the person) who is going to
come in and observe Melanie for the day and give suggestions and all.

An Autism Specialist is coming in on Wednesday next week to help out for
the day.

There will be a Sensory Specialist coming in nothing sure exactly when
though, but to help Melanie.

After Melanies Special Ed Techer leaves, her replacement is a teacher
Melanie already knows and to help her out there will be a Behavorial Tech
that will come in.

A Child Psychiatrist is suppose to be coming in next month, the principal
told me that she would give the lady my contact info so I could go to
Walter Reed to get the paper work and all filled out. Make it faster for
her to come out.

Good News: No more suspensions! :) Obviously they figured out that they
didnt work and it wasnt helping the problem. Her SE teacher told me that
she was going to do everything she could to help Melanie. The principal
did say that until they got more feedback from the docs that suppose to be
coming to observe that if Melanie does get too physical that she would
call the school district to get different ideas on punishments for her

Mrs. Sandy (the teachers aide) I didnt think of it this way, since she is
the one Melanie usually hits/spits on. This is her first year working
there, so shes new to everything, autistic kids and all. But they dont
think the problem is because of her and Melanie not "messing" well. Things
have changed, in Kindergarten there was more free times, centers and more
fun. 1st grade is mainly work. So Mrs. Sandy is the one that always has to
redirect her so she does her work and hence Melanie gets upset or whatever
and acts out. Makes sense.

And within the next month an IEP meeting will be called to redo her IEP
since most of the goals have been met (these were kindergarten goals) so
they have to update those.

I am so glad things are starting to turn around in this situation. I asked my case manager about suspensions here since, Taylor and Colin go to the school that Sean is at, in less than 2 years--and I can picture Taylor being completely overwhelmed there--they are a suspension-ready school. If they can't deal with ANY child, the child goes home. Ryan, my NT son loved it cuz, that is exactly where he wanted to be--home. I am already getting ready for transition issues for Taylor, so they can be brought up for next year's IEP--since next year will be transition IEP.

We can't suspend in OUR school district, any child with an IEP with behavioral issues ASSOCIATED with their disability. However, it is deep parent involvement, as well as intervention techniques, behavioral strategy, para involvement and autism specialist consultations. I guess I am stuck here for a while--At least they will accommodate Taylor's needs, which include her outbursts.

I am so glad you brought up this thread--because it helped me to prepare and start asking questions now. Thank you!

Keep pushing and keep us all updated. I appreciate you sharing all this and will keep you in my thoughts for positive downhill roads ahead.

I don't have any idea about about whether in school suspensions count.  What will she be doing at a in school suspension?  I'd be concerned that it sets up a scenario that is negative (she acts out within the suspension and gets in further trouble) or it's very much reinforcing (she is able to avoid expectations and environment). 

Also something that takes days later and isn't immediate likely isn't going to be seen by your dd as relevant or have consequential... kids are poor long term planners.

My personal feeling is that suspension shouldn't even be used as punitive measure until they have someone qualified in ASD and behavior monitor the situation.   And even then it's still not really useful. Someone needs to address that the staff and supports are in place and the expectations are legitimate.  This doesn't mean staff aren't doing what they think is right... it just may not be right for dd's needs and hitting, kicking, spitting could be symptomatic of that.

At this point they don't really know if they are violating her rights under IDEA and punishing her for something related to her disability.  I was told by the principal that if her behavior continues that she will be suspended again.   The school is expected to investigate the barriers within themselves before looking to place blame on a child with a disability... this includes getting the professionals for behavior interventions.




I have a question relating to suspensions. My daughter is 6 and in the 1st grade. She has been diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome. She has had problems in school since day one. She has finally caught up to the rest of the kids when it comes to her academics, thankfully. But her social skills are still not so great. So far this year she has been written up a few times and suspended once, for a day. I was told on Friday that she will have an in-school suspension on Monday for her behavior on Friday. Her bad behavior consists mainly of hitting, kicking and spitting, she used to be worse. The teachers aide for her class has a desk right next to my daughters, so in case she needs help or anything she can be right there. She does help the other kids though too, but mainly my daughter. And its the teachers aide who is usually the "victim" of my daughters outbursts.

I was told by the principal that if her behavior continues that she will be suspended again. And I know that it will continue at least for a while.  There is supposed to be some kind of doctor (sorry not sure what kind) who's going to come in and observe her to give them some suggestions relating to her behavior.

I read in my parents rights handbook that the school can't suspend a child with Autism for longer than 10 consecutive days or for more than a total of 10 days per school year. My question is do in-school suspensions count under these 10 days or does it refer strictly to out of school suspensions?

Thanks for your help.
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