In fact, you may not even have one.

"There is no such thing as a sex drive. Current research shows that sexuality comprises of sexual brakes and sexual accelerators, which are largely determined by context."

So forms the basis of Emily Nagoski's ground-breaking new book, Come As You Are: The Surprising Science That Will Transform Your Sex Life. The US based sex educator - who also runs sex blog The Dirty Normal - argues that most women completely misunderstand their sexual desires, thinking that their sex drive is fuelled by spontaneous reactions, much like feeling hungry or cold.

But, according to Nagoski, many women don't experience sexual desire this way, and consequentially feel that they are strange or unsexual because they lack a "sex drive".

"When you see a sexy person or have a stray sexy thought, it activates an internal craving or urge for sex. That's called "spontaneous desire,"" said Nagoski in an interview with New Scientist. "But there is another way of experiencing desire which is also healthy and normal, called responsive desire" where your interest only emerges in response to arousal. So, your partner comes over and starts kissing your neck and you're like, "oh, right, sex, that's a good idea"... There just isn't any physical evidence of a drive mechanism."

The book also suggests that spontaneous desire is scientifically proven to occur more often in men than women. "Roughly 70 per cent of men typically experience spontaneous desire and something like 10 to 20 per cent of women have spontaneous desire as their primary desire style."

Nagoski’s other theories include the idea that women are more likely to be embarrassed of their bodies and vaginas, thus subconsciously turned off sex, and that a genital response does not always indicate mental arousal (in fact for women the overlap is just 10 per cent). 

So there you have it - if you don't experience spontaneous bursts of uncontrollable sexual desire you are still a completely normal, functioning and virile woman. It's science. 

Come As You Are is available in Australia from May 4, $29.99

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