A Jupiterian’s Account of Planet Earth


A group of aliens concluding their search for life on planet earth

The inhabitants of earth, and possibly most other planets, are generally extremely arrogant and dangerously limited. Earth citizens have the audacity to claim that a planet like jupiter is very unlikely to support (intelligent) life because of its extreme weather, high radiation levels and the soaring atmospheric pressure levels. Planet Jupiter is mostly gaseous but with a solid core.

Well, here is what i believe is a Jupiteran scientist’s account of Planet earth (translated and adapted to English):

The odds of finding life on planet 6772 are drastically low. The planet has an extremely thin atmosphere with atmospheric pressures so low, not very dissimilar to those of outer space,  that would cause the  instantaneous death of any organism that ventures into its realms without hydrogen protection. The temperatures there are agonizingly cold allowing for the formation of huge amounts of  hydrogen dioxide (H2O) in a liquid form, which is the reason the planet looks mostly purple in our telescopes. H2O is severely corrosive and lethal; its fumes which are abundant in 6772’s atmosphere can cause instantaneous death to any known life form after 2 or more Jupiterian seconds of contact. The temperatures are some times so cold, the liquid water turns into a solid form, called ice. The atmosphere also contains high levels of the toxic gas oxygen which is known to vigorously react with our genetic materials. The gravity is too weak and the radiation levels are way too low to generate the required energy for the development of any  intelligent, or for that fact unintelligent, life forms. We still don’t possess the technologies that allow us to venture into the extremely hostile environment of 6772, but our odds of finding life on the sun where there is an abundance of pure hydrogen, and where surface temperature levels might be just right to support the evolution of life as we know it.

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