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Lovesick: Yes, this is an actual condition


This is your brain on love

Anyone who has been in a romantic relationship knows that lovesickness is a strange cocktail of misery and euphoria. Surprisingly, though, lovesickness isn't just a feeling. It's a chemical and physiological response that can actually impact your health and wellness.
This is your brain on love

What is love sickness?

In 1979, Dr. Dorothy Tennov coined the term "limerence" to describe what most people commonly refer to as "lovesickness." Her work put into words what humans throughout history have long known: that people who fall in love become involuntarily crazy. Lovesickness is marked by a mixture of intense romantic attraction and an obsessive need to have the attraction reciprocated. When feelings of love aren't returned, the lovesick individual sometimes plunges into despair.


Why do I feel so miserably wonderful?

Even though elements of lovesickness closely correspond with mental illness, falling in love is still a powerful and sought-after experience. If you've gone through lovesickness, you can probably recall feeling both miserable and wonderful at the same time. You may have even felt like you experienced highs and lows similar to substance use.

As it turns out, lovesickness results from chemical reactions in the brain that are actually quite similar to the brain's reaction to drugs. The lovesick brain is flooded by serotonin, dopamine and norepinephrine, each of which trigger strong emotional and physiological responses. The mixture of these chemicals produces emotional, mental and physical symptoms that are simultaneously lovely and terrible.

Symptoms of lovesickness

Of course, lovesickness doesn't have to occur in each and every relationship you enter. How would you get any work done, after all? But if you're in a new relationship or recently experienced a breakup, here are some signs that you may be lovesick:

  • Fantasy. You daydream about your love interest, even when it negatively impacts your job performance. Alternatively, you make up entire scenes with your love interest that aren't based on reality.

Possible health outcomes of lovesickness


If you feel lovesick more days than not, or your lovesickness isn't going away, here are a couple of things you can do to practice self-care for the sake of your health:

  • Remove yourself from an unhealthy relationship. If you're lovesick because you're in a relationship with a creep who withholds love, communication and affection, then you need to get out. The lovesickness and its accompanying fears and anxieties won't go away until you do.
  • Put parameters on yourself. If you're prone to late-night Facebook stalking (ahem!), make a rule to turn your computer off by 10 p.m. Tell a friend to hold you accountable. Don't give into your obsessions.

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