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wikiHow to Plan a Catholic Funeral

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The death of a loved one shakes the earth and takes everyone by surprise, no matter how prepared we think we are. It is very helpful to have someone there to help and guide during the preparation of the funeral. The most important part of planning a Catholic funeral is to be in touch with the Parish priest. He is an expert who will be there to comfort and guide you in prayer and deed as you prepare to set the funeral time, answer your questions about a time for viewing, or a time for prayers, or whether or not there can be a wake and especially to prepare the liturgy of the mass, selecting readings and readers and pall bearers.

Planning a Catholic Funeral

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    Speak with the Priest about your wish to prepare a Catholic funeral. He will advise you about possible times to have the funeral. The funeral is usually set for three days after the death happened. During this time, there are things that need to be decided and there is paperwork to be done. Obtain a copy of the death certificate from the hospital or doctor. You will need this when you visit the priest and the funeral home. A Catholic funeral can be a funeral service in the Church with appropriate prayers and song, or it can be one that celebrates the full Funeral Rites, which will include Holy Communion. If there is a celebration of the Mass, attendees who are not Catholic may accompany others who are receiving Holy Communion and they should fold their arms across their chests, indicating that they will receive a blessing only. This instruction should also be given to children who have not yet received their first Sacrament of Holy Communion.
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    In larger cities, there is usually a funeral home where you will receive advice about caskets and burials and a time for friends and family to visit with the deceased, whether it is for private prayer or for a personal paying of respect. In places where a funeral home is present, the body of your loved one will be transported and kept there until it is time for the funeral. If you live in a small town sometimes the body will remain at the hospital morgue until it is time for the viewing or the funeral. Sometimes this can happen in the back of the church, or in a chapel at the hospital, or retirement home or wherever the person lived. Sometimes the body can be brought to a family member's home and a Wake can be organized. This is a time when the family can set up a visiting area and the body can be brought home in the coffin. The priest can be asked to come to the home to lead prayers or to celebrate a Mass. Family and friends will continually be present for one to three days, visiting, eating, singing, praying, and grieving. Expect chatter, tears, laughter, song, stories, and prayer. It is not a good time to serve alcohol but other beverages should be available, like coffee, tea, water, etc.
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    It is good to have someone at home who will answer the telephone and answer questions about the funeral and things of that nature, someone who can help keep things organized. It can be difficult for the bereaved to remember everything at this stressful time. Family members will decide things like who will create and deliver the eulogy, who will serve as pall bearers to carry the casket, how the casket will be transported (in a small town, in larger places the Funeral home will take care of this). At a Catholic mass, a little booklet or memorial page is usually provided to the celebrants of the funeral mass. This will have information about the deceased; usually it will have a picture of the person, birth and death dates, and the names of those family members who are the bereaved - family and extended family. It could also contain a short poem, a summary of the eulogy, or anything special that the family would like to include. Those who are working with the Priest to prepare the liturgy might want to prepare a page stating the order of the mass, the songs and where to find them, and the names of the celebrants and pall bearers. Ushers can be chosen to show people to their pews.
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    In smaller communities or towns, it is customary for the family to arrange for the making of a cross with which to mark the grave. In cities, probably the Funeral Home will do this and they will also prepare the grave site. In smaller communities, this is sometimes done by family or friends. When the funeral is over and the casket is placed into the hearse, vehicles will follow the hearse, lead by family members, to the grave site. At the grave site, after the coffin is in place and the people are assembled, the priest will deliver a final blessing. In closing, sometimes, when a Funeral Home is directing, those present will leave a flower on the casket before leaving. In smaller communities, the coffin is lowered into the bottom of the eternal resting place. Family and friends say their final good byes as they deposit a handful of earth onto the coffin before leaving.
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    The funeral is usually followed by a Reception or Lunch in a prearranged place. Family, friends and acquaintances who may not have been together in a while have a chance to talk and visit and grieve together before leaving. Sometimes family pictures are taken. If there is a Will to be read, the Executor might ask those involved to meet at a specified time and place so they can be present for the Reading of the Will. Sometimes this happens directly after the reception, especially if individuals need to leave to catch planes etc.
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    Everyone grieves in their own way and at their own speed. Be kind and compassionate.

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