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Welcome to The House of Pomegranates, the collection of short stories that is intended neither for the British child nor the British public.

Oscar Wilde has inspired us to work on 30,970 stories and plays since opening in January 2005.

Before modifying any of Wilde's works, please read the snooty writing guidelines and homo-acceptance manual.


Stories | Delightful People | Famous Quotes | Abnormal People | Quite Quaint | Coherent
Oscar's Picks | Straight Index | Works in other Genres...

Another Oscar Wilde picture. From:


Chastity is a calling higher than marriage, and spiritually more profitable.

Oscar's Chosen Article

Today's Featured Article - Project Gemini


Project Gemini was NASA’s second space program, between the Mercury and Apollo missions. With the Apollo program behind schedule, NASA needed something to do between 1961 and 1966, after which everyone would be watching the soccer World Cup. The Gemini spacecraft carried two astronauts to different parts of the solar system and one crew into an alternative universe. The program put the United States ahead of the Soviet Union in the Cold War Space Race.

Gemini’s mission was to iron out various space-travel and personnel issues, in preparation for the goal set by President Kennedy to land people on the moon and return them safely to Earth. Project Gemini managed to complete the first part of that goal, just leaving Apollo to figure out how to return the astronauts safely to Earth. Other minor objectives were medical experiments, navigation, rendezvous, explosive yield, docking, EVA and orbital maneuvering techniques.

The Gemini capsule was launched on top of a Titan II inter-continental ballistic missile, the first to be fired from Cape Canaveral. The first four manned launches expanded the envelope from sub orbital ICBM to orbital spacecraft. Project Gemini was also the first to use mission control in Houston. (more...)

Recently featured: Project Gemini

Yesterday's Featured Article - I'm not a racist, but...


I'm not a racist, but... has long been considered one of the most powerful clichés in the English language. It has the power to define people, cultures, and determine some of the most powerful philosophies that the world has ever seen.

It is generally used in an argumentative situation, to make a point that could potentially be otherwise taken in a negative concept. Similar examples are "I'm not a sexist, but I don't feel women deserve equal pay when they are only truly useful 26 out of 29 days." The statement is often a precursor to "petitio principi" (Latin for "It is because I said so").

In modern society there is an aversion to making a statement that may be considered as politically incorrect. This disarming preface has become a cliche due to it's usefulness in stating what may be unpleasant or not politically correct. This statement is referred to by linguists as a "but-head" statement.

To truly understand the strength of this statement the individual words must be taken into consideration:

  • "I'm" or "I am" is the first part of the phrase. It defines the speaker as an individual. Often used in philosophy to show the existence of things. Descartes said "I think, therefore I am". Here Descartes both defines himself as a thinking individual, and as an individual. In the phrase in question though the speaker defines themselves as a non-thinking individual, and therefore negates his own existence even as he asserts it.
  • "Not" immediately after the definition of self and the subsequent denial of existence, the speaker uses a negative. In Boolean Algebra, and all mathematical logic, the term "not" immediately reverses the meaning of everything going into it. So by defining themselves as a thinking/non-thinking existent/non-existant individual, they immediately negate it in total, and thereby make themselves into a non-individual. This can be viewed similarly to a member of a mob, who becomes no longer an individual within their own right, but simply a part of a greater whole. And in much the same way as a mob's intelligence as a whole is that of its least intelligent member, the speaker again shows the lowest possible calculation of intelligence. (more...)

You can suggest articles for Oscar to read.

More of Oscar's picks

Why was I born with such contemporaries?

No pants day

May 6: No Pants Day (observed)

  • 1536 - King Henry VIII orders English language Bibles be placed in every church, along with wooden crucifixes and stores of holy water, in efforts to stave off vampire invasions.
  • 2012 - American Jerry Bauhauser becomes the first man to cross the Atlantic in a Badonkadonk.

The history of the United Kingdom

The one duty we owe to history is to rewrite it.

Screaming Greeks.jpg

Today in London

It is a very sad thing that nowadays there is so little useless information, so did you know...

From Uncyclopedia's playwrights:

  • ...that people who "have their cake and eat it too" are 10 times more likely to die of obesity than people who only "have their cake"?

Read on

This Month's Wit

Writer of the month

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