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The Patient statement is: When someone says I've lost weight and ask if I'm on a diet but I know I've been starving myself Based on the context, the disorder may be: Depression | Depression |
The Patient statement is: Today is my birthday and I spent it alone Hi all! First time poster to r/depression
I have been feeling down for the past couple of days. To top it all off, today is my birthday and I spent it alone and I think that has taken me over the edge. I came home from work and cried. I tried calling the samaritans so I would have someone to talk to but I couldn't go through with it, as soon as the lady picked up the phone and asked if she could help, I put the phone down.
I just can't explain why I'm depressed so I don't want to sound like I'm just complaining. Because I don't have a 'reason' to be depressed, that just makes me angry with myself. Why am I sad when there are other people who have a reason to be but are perfectly fine?!?! This feeling of being down is impacting my work (I feel so distracted and can't focus) and my relationships (I am not interested in talking to other people and so try to avoid them but then I'm sad because I would like friends to socialize with, it's a vicious cycle). For instance, today I don't think I said a word to anyone until they spoke to me/asked me something.
I feel like there is this hazy cloud over my eyes like the scenes you see in your dreams and that I haven't quite fully 'woken' up yet. I kind of feel like a doll who reacts when I am spoken to. I feel like I am not fully there in conversations or events. I feel like I'm watching the events unfold from a distance or like I'm remembering a distant memory.
I can't fully explain it. I'm sorry for rambling. I think it's the winter and the gloomy weather than I can't deal with. Based on the context, the disorder may be: Depression | Depression |
The Patient statement is: Feeling alone I have borderline personality disorder, and I was in an online support group for it. I had to leave it because I was being triggered by the admin team, which was very alarming to me. Now, I feel hopeless and alone. It was my only outlet with people who seemed to understand what I'm going through. If people with the same disorder can't even offer me support, then what hope is there for me? I just want off this ride. Based on the context, the disorder may be: Suicide | Suicide |
The Patient statement is: how am I supposed to not kill myself when my life is shit and isn’t gonna get better? [deleted] Based on the context, the disorder may be: Depression | Depression |
The Patient statement is: Getting paranoid recently Started watching every car behind me when I'm driving and sometimes doubling back to make sure they are not following. Also been thinking my friends are trying to team up with my work to get me sacked. Based on the context, the disorder may be: Bipolar | Bipolar |
The Patient statement is: Every night, I consider driving myself to the emergency room, and then every night I remind myself all that will do is give me another bill I can't afford to pay There are really no good options when you don't have any money. Sure, I could call a suicide hotline, but all they would do is send the police to my house, who would arrest me and take me to the hospital. So super, then I'd have the traumatizing experience of being put in handcuffs for being depressed and a hospital bill I can't afford that would eventually be sent to collections and wreck my credit. I'd still be physically alive but still no closer to fixing my mental health and all of the awful life circumstances causing my depression in the first place.
I don't know what to do. I have no one and nothing. I had some things to look forward to about a year ago, but those fell apart, and now I have truly nothing. I know I'm not being specific, but I don't have the energy to type out a really long story, and it won't matter anyway. Truthfully the only argument I have against dying is that it would kill my dog if I was suddenly gone. Earlier today, she ran away, and while I was outside looking for her, the thought that kept running through my head is, "What if she's dead. What if a car hit her or she went swimming in the creek and an alligator ate her? Then I'd truly have no reason left to be alive." This is what my life has come to. Nonstop thoughts like this.
I want to go to a therapist so bad, but I can't afford it. Don't tell me that there are therapists who will reduce their fees or that there are free clinics. A) It doesn't matter how much the therapist reduces their fee if I have ZERO MONEY, and B) Free clinics do not exist in my area. At all. I've researched extensively, and they just aren't a thing. I say this because every time I've posted about my situation online in the past, I've gotten flooded with people telling me to go find a free clinic or to start calling up therapists and asking if they'll reduce their fees. It's exhausting to try to explain over and over again that those solutions don't work.
Okay, that's all. I had to say something somewhere, and Reddit is free at least. Based on the context, the disorder may be: Suicide | Suicide |
The Patient statement is: I don't enjoy being alive and at this point,i'm finding it hard to want to stay alive. [deleted] Based on the context, the disorder may be: Suicide | Suicide |
The Patient statement is: Can you experience fatigue from depression without your mood being low? [deleted] Based on the context, the disorder may be: Depression | Depression |
The Patient statement is: I just want to talk to someone I can’t do it anymore. I just can’t stop feeling guilty about it. I‘ve already been cutting myself, i just want to pain to end Based on the context, the disorder may be: Suicide | Suicide |
The Patient statement is: I despise my life I’m sorry to bother everyone with this, I hope I don’t worsen anyone’s depression by pouring out my problems on you guys.
I just feel so trapped, I essentially feel a constant numbness with a small bit of impending doom. It sounds generic and juvenile I know, but it’s the only way I can describe it.
I’m going nowhere in life. My education is lousy due to circumstances I couldn’t control, my family is full of nothing but self-absorbed, control freaks with no trace of empathy, I have constant anxiety which only subsides when I drink, and my job prospects are relegated to back breaking manual labor or jobs 16 year olds on summer break should be doing.
I’m not sure where to go from here, I’ve never felt this low. Based on the context, the disorder may be: Depression | Depression |
The Patient statement is: Insomnia/Anxiety without Stress just before sleeping? I've had this problem 2 of the past 3 nights. At bedtime, I begin to feel like I've just drunk a strong cup of coffee. My stomach is upset, and I feel shaky. No sense of dread or other mental symptoms. It also happened once in the morning 3 days ago. Long walks across the city at 2AM seem to help. My life did change this week in that I'm a juror on a criminal trial, but I don't feel stress from that.
Please let me know if you've experienced something similar, or know what could be wrong with me. Based on the context, the disorder may be: Anxiety | Anxiety |
The Patient statement is: Depicting Bipolar Disorder In Art Hello! I'm a college student diagnosed Bipolar 1 with psychotic features and am just about to graduate (finally). Before my college career finally comes to an end, I have 10 weeks to complete a digital art project. Luckily, our professor has given us the freedom to choose the topic of our projects as well as which digital methods we may use.
I'm set on addressing mental illness, mainly bipolar disorder since I feel a major personal connection to it, in this project, although I haven't necessarily a specific idea yet. I want it to present a realistic depiction of mental illness, giving the public a look into what the experience is actually like. I'm trying to decide if I should create create an installation piece, an animation, a screen wall piece, an audio soundscape, a real life immersive experience, and on and so forth (my mind is honestly racing with your ideas). Also, I'm trying to to decide if I should depict mental health as a whole (i.e. multiple mental disorders), bipolar disorder, negative stigmas associated with mental illness, a bipolar experience kind of thing or what have you. The ideas honestly seem endless at this point, but I'm excited its moving forward at least a little! And I also have some time to think this over and true a topic I'm particularly interested in and passionate about depicting in an digitally, artistic manner
Which actually brings me to why I'm actually writing this post in the first place. I wanted to reach out to everyone and see if anyone would be willing to share some advice, quotes, stories, experiences, opinions, project ideas, photos, any art, or anything really! I would really love to utilize some information and first hand accounts from people that have actually lived it. Right now, I'm mainly looking for references to use as inspiration, content, and ideas to establish the main topic of my project. So, honestly, I really would appreciate anything anyone would be willing to offer/share with me that they feel would be helpful in providing insight into the world of bipolar disorder!
Thank you, guys! Based on the context, the disorder may be: Bipolar | Bipolar |
The Patient statement is: in the wake of all the sexual assault from actors etc coming to light, why is woody allen still making movies? [deleted] Based on the context, the disorder may be: Expressing | Expressing |
The Patient statement is: Conflicted happiness? Once I start making a plan to kill myself, I get this huge wave of relief that everything will be fine. If I attempt and fail I get stuck feeling so negative but the time in between that is pure bliss. Why is this? Does anyone else feel that conflicred emotion? I also still worry about the mental impact I would have on my ex & friends.... But I love the feeling of this short lived emotion. .. sorry rambles. Based on the context, the disorder may be: Depression | Depression |
The Patient statement is: Parents' money Teens/Students, how do you feel less guilty about spending your parents' money on things like junk food/entertainment? Based on the context, the disorder may be: Anxiety | Anxiety |
The Patient statement is: You’re creating a void that I don’t think I can fill. [deleted] Based on the context, the disorder may be: Expressing | Expressing |
The Patient statement is: Did shrooms need help Hey everyone. So I’ve never done drugs before I did shrooms about two months ago, I did an eighth for my first time and hated my trip. Afterwards everything was fine up until a month later. I ended up having a sudden panic attack and I was scared that maybe somebody and slipped me some shrooms, I ended up going to the ER. The week I went to the ER I was so scared that doing the shrooms did me some kind of brain damage so I booked appointment after appointment for blood work and CAT scans, everything came back normal. I wasn’t eating or sleeping, I could lay down or stand for long periods of time without panicking. They prescribed me Xanax and the night I took my first .25 mg pill I instantly fell asleep, the best nights sleep I have ever had, the next day I even ate something without vomiting. I had 3 weeks worth of Xanax but ended up only having it for 3 days because my roommates ended up stealing my pills. After that I couldn’t get anymore because Xanax is such an abused substance.
Anyway, other symptoms I have other than the vomiting and insomnia is that sometime I feel like my hands aren’t in my full control. Sometimes they feel numb and that freaks me out so I start panicking again and the symptoms get worse and it’s a whole huge loop. I also had a tightening in my throat so that it made it hard to swallow but I read that it was a common anxiety symptom and since then I’ve never had that symptom return. One of the scariest symptoms is one I call the “I don’t know” symptom. It’s where somebody will repeat something or somebody will be talking to me and mess up a sentence and I’m not sure if they said it wrong or if I heard it wrong and if there’s stills something wrong with my brain. Sometimes I’ll hear sounds and I’ll question whether or not they’re real. It’s really frightening and I don’t know what to do or if anyone else feels this way too? Based on the context, the disorder may be: Anxiety | Anxiety |
The Patient statement is: I hate therapists. None of them actually care or help. They just want your money. Based on the context, the disorder may be: Depression | Depression |
The Patient statement is: He don't know he saves me everyday Even though I'm not physically next to him , just the thought of the future and what it could be saved me from myself , from other people , I know if I needed anyone he would be , he is protecting me in a way he does not even know about , I've spent so many nights crying and not feeling good enough, he was the first who wanted to be my friend , the first person who ever wanted to kiss me , the first one to really love me for me , I have austim and PTSD from some things that happened in life and lately I've been having more then usual lack of sleeping issues , night terrors are horrible which is also causing me to lose my appetite and not want to eat , all the nights I lay awake looking at the wall thinking about how I could just cut my wrists , a few years ago I tried once to OD on pills , i love him and I just want him to know that I have his back like he has had mine. If he happens to see this , I hope it makes him happy to know that he has helped me more then he knows. He is the one , the one that keeps me from taking that blade to my skin. Based on the context, the disorder may be: Expressing | Expressing |
The Patient statement is: It's like today Fate told me: "You're going to be alone. Don't even bother." With severe anxiety and body dysmorphia it's extremely hard for me to connect socially, though being more social is something I wanted to do this year. Well, today my only prospect for being more social completely dissolved. A new friend of mine asked me some 10 days ago if I would like to attend dancing courses with her, and I thought that would be a great way to be more social. Then today she wrote me that she won't attend the dancing courses with me out of consideration for her boyfriend.
Yes, be considerate of your boyfriend, who cares about ugly useless me. It's like Fate telling me: "Don't even bother trying. You're too ugly to be with anyone else. You think a new year changes anything? You're going to be alone forever, get used to it!" Based on the context, the disorder may be: Depression | Depression |
The Patient statement is: what am i even doing anymore I feel nothing. I feel emotionless. My friends think that my depression is me trying to be edgy. What great friends, right?
I can't write anymore. I can't draw anymore. I've opened up to my family about this but all I got was a pat on the back and a "you'll be okay". I feel like not even opening up to anyone anymore. How do people do this? I feel like I'm wasting my life. I'm trying to make my parents proud but they act like I'm not even here.
What am I doing? Everything seems pointless. It feels like there's no hope for me anymore. I've given up on myself and so has the world. And I know what you're thinking, "stop having a pity party. if you're so tired of feeling like this then do something about it". And I have. I've tried every thing anyone has ever told me about getting past this or at least trying to cope with it. I'm a lost cause.
I just need something, anything. How do people do this? How do I get through this before I finally and totally give up on my life and end it? What's wrong with me? Based on the context, the disorder may be: Depression | Depression |
The Patient statement is: Are there any Voluntary Euthanasia movements to be aware of? I want my body to be useful for something, maybe even save someone with a kidney or summn [deleted] Based on the context, the disorder may be: Suicide | Suicide |
The Patient statement is: Please stop telling me it will be okay. Today I've learned that my credit is too poor to apply for a student loan for living expenses this school year. I'm a full time grad student and I work full time as well, but I don't get enough hours at work to make rent and bills every month without a student loan. I don't know what to do. I only have a few months until I graduate my program, but without this loan, I might not have a place to live for spring semester.
My mom and fiance have both told me today that it's going to be okay, but it just felt like they were both trying to soothe me. I'm living several states over from them while I'm in school, so I feel alone all the time. I can't ask either of them to help with my rent as it's so much money and they're both struggling with their own bills.
It's not just my financial situation that's making me consider suicide—I've been battling with depression for the past decade now. This won't be my first suicide attempt, but I'm hoping it will be my last. I know it's selfish of me, especially when I promised my fiance I would never leave him, but I'm so tired of everything. Life, depression, anxiety, and hearing from everyone that it will be okay. Stop lying to me. I've been waiting for it to become okay and it's only become worse and worse. Please just let me go.
Thanks for reading. Based on the context, the disorder may be: Suicide | Suicide |
The Patient statement is: i feel like shit i m a smart guy but my grades are so bad id rather to kill myself then telling her im gonna suicide at 4/1/2018 at my birthday
edit i just dont know how to study it like i dont have the motivation
Based on the context, the disorder may be: Suicide | Suicide |
The Patient statement is: Fears of being drugged Two days ago was Halloween. And as such people give out candy,so one of my neighbors gave me some candy yesterday and I happily ate it. Immediately then I got scared that someone put drugs in the candy. The reason I guess I got scared of this was because many people like to hype up the fears that people will drug their kids candy on Halloween. The drug in particular I worried about was either LSD or bath salts (lol). I know that it was a stupid thing to believe as it doesn’t really happen but I gave into the fear and started looking things up and getting really anxious. yesterday and today it has also came up as in “oh what if somebody drugged my food”. Particularly delivery,I still ate though it makes me scared to eat. I KNOW that this is irritational but I’m scared that I’m developing psychosis or sczhiophrenia (sp?). Is this a delusion or an irritational thought? Because I know its just a “what if its true” thought. Yet I’m also afraid that I’m going to believe it. If that makes sense?
The only thing I can relate this to is that years ago I used to avoid going on trains because of a bomb,I would be afraid to be alone because of someone kidnapping me/killing me,etc I now deal with Health Anxiety more than anything. Someone told me this might be OCD related but I haven’t been diagnosed with that,although I do things in numbers a lot and do hold a lot of things in high regards that other people wouldn’t.
The reason I am scared of psychosis and such is because of the drug fear and also sometimes I get intrusive thoughts that really really bother me. All of this bothers me so much and I’m very scared that I’m either getting those mental disorders or I’m going crazy. Every time I try and get and get the drug fear out of me it just comes back and it makes me more and more worried I’m getting psychosis or something. I am sitting here crying my eyes out because of this. If its a delusion would I be saying “what if”? Based on the context, the disorder may be: Anxiety | Anxiety |
The Patient statement is: I just told me dad I wasn't going to see him today. I'm a grad student in college about an hour and a half from my families. I was supposed to drive up and see my dad today, but I woke up and realized I just couldn't today. Hearing the disappointment in my dad's voice absolutely crushed me. Why can't I just get the energy to drive there? Fuck this shit man... Based on the context, the disorder may be: Depression | Depression |
The Patient statement is: Gotta love when you're late to work because you remember you didn't take your meds and have to turn around Got halfway to work today and suddenly was struck with, "oh fuck, forgot my meds!" And with a 9-hour shift, no way I wouldn't feel like shit by the end if I just skipped them. Usually my husband reminds me, but when I have to wake up before him it's so easy to forget grr. Based on the context, the disorder may be: Bipolar | Bipolar |
The Patient statement is: When ya got bipolar and adhd I'm not sleeping, I'm really excitable, I'm possibly talking faster, I'm getting tunnel vision about my projects...Am I hypomanic or hyperfocusing??? Who knowwwws!! Based on the context, the disorder may be: Bipolar | Bipolar |
The Patient statement is: Anxiety be like... i'd do anything to be with this girl.. except like actually talk to her [deleted] Based on the context, the disorder may be: Anxiety | Anxiety |
The Patient statement is: Anyone else... awake and anxious? Fell asleep for a few hours, but now awake and upset. Just feel like I need someone to talk to. Based on the context, the disorder may be: Anxiety | Anxiety |
The Patient statement is: Does teeth clenching/grinding from Lamictal go away? I started at 25mg of Lamictal two months ago and am up to 100mg. Ever since starting, I have had teeth clenching/grinding all day and night. My teeth and jaw hurt and I'm getting headaches.
Doctor said I could try benzos to relieve it, but I want to avoid them.
Has anyone had teeth clenching/grinding from Lamictal and had it go away ? Or is it like if you get it on Lamictal there's no chance it will stop? Based on the context, the disorder may be: Bipolar | Bipolar |
The Patient statement is: Anyone else get object size distortions / zoomed in vision indeffinately last month or so the people I regularly look at as well as objects keep fluctuating in their width , height and size. Meaning sometimes everyone's forehead looks way to big or sometimes their cheeks like stretched out like widescreen. Sometimes their heads and bodies just look overall way to big. It's gotten to the point where people my height (5"8) look like people who are 6 feet tall and people who are six feet look like 7-8 foot giants.
This is just one of many symptoms but it's one of the weirdest. One of the most annoying to deal with is the severe brain fog.
I've read about Alice in wonderland syndrome but not sure I have hat as it says people usually have it in short bursts then it goes away. Mine started about 2 months ago and keeps getting worse.
I've had brain MRI , ct scan, blood work , eeg. I have insisted to my doc and neuro that it feels like there's not enough blood going to my brain (another symptom I have is feeling like I'm dizzy/drunk 24:7) but have yet to have any tests that would show that. Both my doc and my neuro have told me they "don't think it could be that" even tho I have numb arms hands legs and feet as well have taken pics documenting of my veins getting smaller consistently over 3 months.
Anyway not to keep ranting but I am just trying to possibly find anyone who has experienced something similar or heard of anything that might be causing this. And or if there's anything else I should get medically tested. I've told my doc I really think they should do blood vessel test of the brain (mra) which I'm willing to pay for privately but he doesn't want to due to their being a very small risk of the dye harming my kidneys. I just feel so stuck and lost Based on the context, the disorder may be: Anxiety | Anxiety |
The Patient statement is: How fucked is this? Wife and I get drunk. She suggests we bathe together. She decides it's better if I bath alone while we talk. She leaves part way through. I fall asleep in the bathtub several hours later shivering uncontrollably and she's asleep in bed. We fight and I end up punching a hole in the wall (very disappointed in myself here tbh) and she falls back asleep. I'm here debating a glass of bleach and the main thought to convince me no is, "but if you die it will break her and she'll fail the NCLEX exam." Based on the context, the disorder may be: Depression | Depression |
The Patient statement is: Thoughts in text. I don't want to spiral into depression. I don't like school. In fact, I hate it. I hate the work, it's hard, and I'm probably just lazy. I'm an average student, I'm not smart, and I'm not failing. I don't like the education system and I don't like how they try to weed out people who are less intelligent. I don't like the fact that we have to go through so many years of school just to get a job we might not like or not even get a job.
I'm in my final year of high school. Everyone is trying their hardest to get into the University or College of their choice, and I don't know what to do. Even if I wanted to get into a certain program, my marks might not be high enough to get in. And even if they met the requirements, I know they won't be high enough to be competitive.
I have a handful of friends that I can talk to and I'm not close enough with some of them to hang out. With my social anxiety, I tend to bail out on many events that I don't even get invited anymore (not complaining).
I'm not mentally well, but I don't think I'm at the stage of depression yet. I want to die, but I don't want to kill myself.
Can anyone relate with me? Based on the context, the disorder may be: Depression | Depression |
The Patient statement is: I have no friends and I don't know why? Hey, so I'm a 29 year old guy. I've been dealing with depression and anxiety for the past 8 years, and it's been getting progressively worse. I'm seeing a therapist, and might start meds soon, but thats another story.
Something I've noticed recently, is that all my friends and acquaintances seem to be losing interest in me. No one invites me out, and after meeting me, people seem to slowly lose interest until they practically never contact me. I don't know what I'm doing wrong, and I can't just casually go around asking people why they're ditching me. I know my depression plays a part in this, but it's maddening to be losing all my friends and not know why. I've asked my best friend if I do or say things which push people away, but she's assured me that I don't. Im not 100% sure if I believe her. I feel like she's just trying to protect my feelings or whatever, but if I'm doing something which is unappealing to others, I'd like to know, so I can correct the problem.
Has anyone ever dealt with this? How did you get over it? Based on the context, the disorder may be: Depression | Depression |
The Patient statement is: Medication frustration- feeling stuck I've been having a ton anxiety and am currently in depressive state. I went to my psychologist and she said that both of my meds (lithium and seroquel) couldn't be increased more and were basically maxed out so she suggested that we add another medication (abilify) and taper off the seroquel because she didn't want me on two antipsychotic medications. The problem is I've already taken all the medications that would typically be used to treat bipolar (Wellbutrin, abilify, Latuda, depokote, xyprexa, and lamictal) including the one she's starting me on; she acknowledged that as well but decided to start me on the abilfy again anyways. So now I'm super depressed waiting for a drug that might or might not work to kick in (one that hasn't worked for me in the past) and extra anxious because of my seroquel being reduced. I honestly don't know what to do. I feel stuck in this miserable state and I'm struggling to see a clear end. Even if the abilify does work to treat my depression I'm still left with all this untreated anxiety. Really upset thinking about waiting another month feeling this way just waiting for meds to kick in and that after that even in the best case scenario I'm still left with so much anxiety, possibly more then before. Based on the context, the disorder may be: Bipolar | Bipolar |
The Patient statement is: I hate feeling this way I don’t want to seem like a POS for saying this but I don’t like my boyfriend’s mom. I know that’s someone I can’t rid of (I’m not trying to nor do I want to). She’s very controlling, manipulative, and will throw tantrums when she can’t get her way. She can be nice but the way she behaves is ridiculous and my boyfriend got upset and said I was disrespectful to his family for saying they’re ridiculous because of the way they were acting today. Now he’s mad at me all the way in another state and has completely shunned me for the night. I don’t want to just tell him I don’t like her, other people tell me I should have the conversation with him, but I don’t want to be foul or sound awful or push him away completely because of it... I also don’t want to break up with him over the way his family can act but it’s driving me nuts and I’m starting to lose patience. He has complained about her and his family almost everyday since we’ve been together and I try to be there for him as a listening ear since not too many people are there for him but I can’t take it anymore. Help. Based on the context, the disorder may be: Expressing | Expressing |
The Patient statement is: Im not sure what im doing anymore I've had anxiety and depression to the point of being locked in my room doing nothing all day for four years. I break down at least once a week, and I can't handle any real situations. I don't feel real. Nothing feels real. I don't enjoy anything and I haven't been happy in years. I don't know what's wrong with me. I used to have so many friends, I was in a good relationship. Everything just got shitty I guess. I don't know how to take control of my life again. Everything terrifies me. I can't work, I can't do schooling. I can't live normally anymore. I won't end my life because I don't think I care about it enough to attempt it. I don't care about anything. I feel completely alone, cold and I can't see myself when I look at my hands. I'm only 19. I don't know what I'm supposed to expect in life, as this is all I remember. All I know in all sincerity is the painful loneliness that is sitting at a desk all day, reading and playing games. If there was a word for anxiety and depression so deep, so brutal that it makes life painful then write it on my forehead. I have no intention to die, yet none to live. I don't think I'll ever feel normal. I don't think I'll ever be happy. Based on the context, the disorder may be: Suicide | Suicide |
The Patient statement is: Killed by my own narcissism. I am ending my life tonight. $120,000 in debt. No job prospects. No law review no moot court no mock trial. Only near minimum wage doc review positions in my future. I went to law school because I believed I was special I thought I was a precious fucking little snowflake who deserved respect. I have lost everything. My friends are all gone. My family is disgusted with my failure. I have no money no hope no future.
Goodbye. Based on the context, the disorder may be: Depression | Depression |
The Patient statement is: I'm lying in bed whole day, crying and thinking about suicide. I need help. Based on the context, the disorder may be: Depression | Depression |
The Patient statement is: Anxious accountability buddy needed Hello! 31/F/GMT+3 Looking for someone who's in the same situation as me. There are good days where I can accomplish plenty without thinking twice about it and the rest of the days where I overthink, overanalyze, overplan and just end up browsing Reddit (it's not just about Reddit). This is usually affecting my personal free time and not my work time. I would like to get rid of the feeling of being stuck. I'm looking for sort of an accountability buddy but it's more to find someone who knows both of this feeling (and other anxiety issues, ruminating about the same things over and over) and for example whom I could chat with instead of endlessly scrolling through reddit for example. We could share our neverendless lists of routine plans, bigger tasks, etc. Try not to hesitate too much :D and contact me if this is something you think might help both of us or if you want to ask more. Based on the context, the disorder may be: Anxiety | Anxiety |
The Patient statement is: I wish my family was rich. Need to keep a 3.25 GPA to keep scholarship at an expensive school. Majoring in Engineering, B's all across the board. I'm going to miss my friends. God damn it Based on the context, the disorder may be: Expressing | Expressing |
The Patient statement is: Does anxiety kill your motivation? Been feeling better lately after a several month long stint of nearly constant anxiety all day every day.. I noticed my motivation had started slowly coming back, but then today had a small attack and immediately after was back to having ZERO motivation. Based on the context, the disorder may be: Anxiety | Anxiety |
The Patient statement is: help like this is useless for me how the fuck is talking w/ random folx who ill never meet or know supposed to help?
i wanna die bc im unlovable untouchable a monster etc in practice
having some asshole tell me not to kill myself bc they have an abstract belief people shouldn't commit suicide isnt helpful
how the fuck is that supposed to make me want to live?
my desires will always be unfulfilled in this nightmare society
if you want to stop suicide make life livable
random ass anon help is bullshit for many of us
death to the cistem queer trans liberation now Based on the context, the disorder may be: Suicide | Suicide |
The Patient statement is: I'm tired of trying I am really tired of trying.
I can't talk to people. I get nervous and get silent very quick.
I have no friends though I tell people that I have.
I have an obsession of that I must be the best looking guy on the room ( even though I'm not that good looking) and it's killing me slowly inside.
I hate the year 2018. I miss 2006. I miss my childhood. I miss my old home. I miss my old friends. I miss my dog I had. I miss my cat I had. I miss my happiness. I wish I could turn back time to the golden days even just for an hour. Just to feel happiness again only for an hour.
I would've kill myself already if I wasn't afraid of the pain. Every night I'm wishing to not wake up at the next morning but I keep getting disappointed over and over.
I can't stand it anymore.
Please tell my how to be brave. Please tell me how to finally end my life. Please. Based on the context, the disorder may be: Suicide | Suicide |
The Patient statement is: It’s been 2 years since I cut myself and my parents still don’t trust me with sharp items. I used to cut myself. I started when I was 12 because I hated myself and didn’t know how to handle childhood trauma. I got treatment for major depression, acute anxiety and BPD. I’ve improved a lot regarding my BPD. The urge to be close to someone and cling to people is there, but I keep a healthy distance for their sake and mine.
Anyway. My parents moved a few months ago. I’m in a college dorm, so I did some unpacking over Thanksgiving break when I went back home. My stepdad found the box cutter in my room while I was unpacking some boxes. He asked, “Why does crazy have a box cutter?” It was a joke, I guess. I don’t really know what’s normal and what isn’t at this point in my life.
I’m 19 now, and I haven’t cut since I was 17. The urge has been so strong lately due to issues with my BPD and me trying so hard not to get enmeshed and attached. I just want some control over my life. It’s the first thing I think about when I think of comforting myself, when I think of gaining control of myself. I look at my scars and remember and it’s painful, but the temptation is always there. Based on the context, the disorder may be: Expressing | Expressing |
The Patient statement is: I'm 24 but it still feels like I'm 16. Rant: it might not make sense I'm drunk at 3:00pm
Like I'm 24 and it feels like I'm 16. It's depressing to think about actually. I never grew up. High school I didn't have many friends I tried winning some over in sports nope. School nope. I just wanted peers to talk to outside of class. When I went college it felt like I was 14. College was the ultimate realization that I'm not the same age as these people. And me trying to catch up was leading to my depression and dropping out. I then questioned my sexuality and who I was. Am I gay or Am i straight? Do I want to be a woman? I went to the gym for a year to squash that. It was a disaster I didn't want to go outside or talk to people for about another year. like It always feels like I'm really behind in life Im so fucked. Like it sucks all my child hood friends are in graduate school. And I'm still in my parents basement. Like my cousin I know is 16 and I felt like we have more in common than people my own age. People are telling me and I tell myself I got to man up. But I can't bring my self my mojo left along time ago. It's so hard to go out in the real world and not being comfortable who you are or even know who you are. Job interviews are disaster because I'm pitching basically who I am and it's sucks cause I don't even know. I went for a job interview last week and my boss is a year younger than me and she just graduated college and it feels like I'm no where near her level. It's soooo embarrassing. Alright I'm done time to drink so more. Based on the context, the disorder may be: Depression | Depression |
The Patient statement is: What are things to do to stay stable and focused in college? [deleted] Based on the context, the disorder may be: Bipolar | Bipolar |
The Patient statement is: My friend needs a liver transplant. And even though I am a complete match, (I have already done some blood work too) they don’t want to move forward with me. Even though this could save his fucking life. Could I have been denied because I’m Bipolar? [deleted] Based on the context, the disorder may be: Bipolar | Bipolar |
The Patient statement is: *Trigger Warning* self harm Really trying to fight the urge to cut.
Just took out a razor blade and give myself a little nick just to try and fight it off. Will probably have the opposite effect. Been trying to ignore the voice in my head that keeps telling me to do it but it gets louder and harder to ignore. Based on the context, the disorder may be: Bipolar | Bipolar |
The Patient statement is: constantly worried about health? Anyone else have this? A year or so ago I was convinced that something was (physically) wrong with my brain. I was sure that I was feeling weird sensations inside my head and nervously searched online for anything I could find about what might be wrong. I grew so worried that I eventually requested an MRI from my therapist and he requested one for me from the hospital. It turned out that everything was perfectly normal aside from swollen sinuses (I have seasonal allergies). Upon hearing the results my anxiety about the issue vanished immediately; I felt hugely relieved and no longer perceived any symptoms.
But different health concerns continue to come and go and it seems like I'm always worried about something being wrong. Now I'm worried that I have some problem with my eyesight. I keep thinking that I'm seeing anomalies or just not seeing as well as I should. I'm considering making an appointment for an eye test but I don't want to go through all that if it just turns out to be nothing again.
Does anyone else deal with this and what do you recommend? Based on the context, the disorder may be: Anxiety | Anxiety |
The Patient statement is: Doctor suggesting CBDs...any experience or thoughts? I've just gotten off the "musical-chairs-of-therapists" game yet again. New guy seems good and is interested in more integrative medicine approach so...that's nice.
One thing he suggested was CBDs. I've got an antidepressant that works great but I haven't found a mood stabilizer that works and I think at this point we've determined I've tried pretty much every mood stabilizer, atypical anti-psychotic and even shit that's listed "off brand" for treating mania. My last therapist was down to suggesting ECT or TMS (and I thought TMS wasn't indicated for bipolar disorder?!).
So yeah...here I am debating CBDs. I know THC is generally thought of as a surefire way to make yourself manic which he had already warned me about. I did some searching and found lots of articles that say CBDs may help bipolar mania and psychosis. But I'm new to this whole thing. I'm also a boring ass person who's never even tried pot before. I'm assuming to eliminate THC I'd be looking at edibles?
So I guess really what I want to know is have any of you tried it, does it help, and is there some kind of handy site out there with recommendations for bipolar people trying this? Based on the context, the disorder may be: Bipolar | Bipolar |
The Patient statement is: What kind of drugs do I need to kill myself and how/where to get them? [deleted] Based on the context, the disorder may be: Suicide | Suicide |
The Patient statement is: please don't downvote me I feel so close to this community. I wouldn't feel comfortable sharing this anywhere else.
When I was 18, I went to a party. I've always felt I was slipped something but I guess I don't really know. I remember I said we shouldn't because I had my period but he ripped everything off. I don't know that I actually said no.
I remember he was aggressive. I remember pretending I liked it because I was new to sex & I tried to sound like I thought I was supposed to.
I remember being in his car. He dropped me off outside my building & sped away. I remember feeling cold.
I remember my wallet the next day. It was empty.
I remember being ashamed. I remember being afraid to be seen because what if they knew how disgusting I was. I remember sitting in the shower & worrying because I didn't know if he used protection.
I remember wincing so hard at the thought of it that I kept pushing it back because I couldn't take it anymore.
I think that was rape. I wasn't even experiencing strong symptoms at the time so it couldn't have been hypersexuality. I don't know. Based on the context, the disorder may be: Bipolar | Bipolar |
The Patient statement is: Kavinace Does anyone use Kavinace? My doc prescribed a couple of pills per day - they contain a smaller amount of Phenibut from what I can tell (250 mg?). Anyway, I know Phenibut is not good for daily usage but I'd like to use this as prescribed for about a month. Any experiences out there? Thank you for your time and help. Based on the context, the disorder may be: Anxiety | Anxiety |
The Patient statement is: Does anyone else feel like a walking problem? or something to be avoided? i have never really had any close friends or any friends for that matter. I am so tired of being treated like an inconvenience. I am a human being with depression, not walking depression.
I have issues with smiling and making eye contact or maybe its my face.
Sorry i'm rambling i am fed up and i want what seems to come so easy to others. Based on the context, the disorder may be: Depression | Depression |
The Patient statement is: Bipolar mixed with other diagonses I’ve been more or less stable for the past year, which is a huge deal for me because it’s the longest time I can legit say I’ve been stable for 5 years. I was diagnosed with BP2, OCD, ADHD, and a few other anxiety disorders. Now I’m back in school and the stress is acting as a trigger for both my OCD and BPD.
I guess I’m just wondering if anyone else has experience of other diagnoses mixing with their BPD and how you deal with it.
Based on the context, the disorder may be: Bipolar | Bipolar |
The Patient statement is: Friends are something that has never existed in my life, and probably never will. I used to be a complete loner and outcast until my early twenties, now I am a bit better communicator but still nobody really likes me and wants to hang out with me, I don't really interact with anyone, only in certain situations and temporarily, but I have literally 0 friends, male or female.
Since this is the way it has been for my entire life, I have long ago accepted this and not really worried about it but I knew I was missing out on a lot, especially stuff like house parties, etc... But at this point I am pretty much over it and I would be happy enough if I ever had a girl, but that seems like an impossible task also. Based on the context, the disorder may be: Depression | Depression |
The Patient statement is: I love and hate my job I deliver packages for UPS. I work long hours and mostly end my days long after dark too sore and exhausted to do much. I've done a lot in my life, I'm smart have a college degree, I'm a vet I could probably go and get a job anywhere. I've thought about quitting. My friends are always asking me to go to a movie or to dinner but I can't commit because I don't know when I'll be off. But. My first year delivering there was a misload. A little white insulated container. It was supposed to go miles away from my area. It was Friday night after 9 and no one would have said anything if I brought it back to deliver next week. For some reason I ran it. As I pulled up to the house an old lady, thin and frail, stepped out to see who stopped in front of her house. She started crying when she saw me. It was her husband's medication, he was dying and in a lot of pain. They were waiting all day. She hugged me and thanked me and all I could think was I was *this* close to going home instead. I like that feeling though. I like getting people their packages. Medicine, Amazon, Omaha steaks whatever. I love my job. Based on the context, the disorder may be: Expressing | Expressing |
The Patient statement is: Daddy Issues...(?) So when I was maybe 3-ish my mum decided to leave my father and take her kids with her. They had a really big fight at that moment and all I can remember from that day is my dad picking me up by my neck and throwing me.
Whenever we talk about him, my mum always says how abusive and violent he was when they were together and how he was a bad person. And I’m not saying that my mum was lying about that^, but the only other memories I have of him were good.
Like I remember once I was crying when I was getting a haircut and he would try to distract me and cheer me up and make me laugh and I remember I was sleeping in my parents’ bed and I remember him holding me and I felt so safe. I just wonder why he would suddenly treat me like I didn’t matter to him? Did he really not care about me at all? Why would he do that to his own son I just don’t get it and I can’t help but feel shitty about myself because of it. Like I shouldn’t care about his opinions because he was a shitty human being but he’s still my dad y’know? I just wanna know why. I thought I mattered to him but apparently not and that really messes me up inside. I know I was so young when it happened but it still hurts.
I don’t even know what he looks like but I’m still so messed up about something like this it’s so stupid. Why, out of all the memories I had of him, does my brain pick those ones? Like a bunch of good times when he was being a good dad and that last one of him treating my like I meant nothing to him just to fuck me over. It’s so fucked and I hate it, I hate myself and I hate my dad, but I still want him to love me what the fuck is wrong with me?? Based on the context, the disorder may be: Expressing | Expressing |
The Patient statement is: Does anyone else feel completely alone during a panic attack? It feels like there is no one that can help me, like I will fall into an abyss of torment and panic. Like if I had broken a bone, at least I know I can go to the doctor and the pain will go away with medications. But are there medications that can make a panic attack go away instantly? Not sure myself but it just feels like no one can help me even if I have all my family around me. Especially since my anxiety and panic attacks are related to philosophical/existential/abstract things. It's so scary... Based on the context, the disorder may be: Anxiety | Anxiety |
The Patient statement is: December time Anyone else feeling like nothing matters?
I feel. Like it would just be better to end it all.
Like nothing matters Based on the context, the disorder may be: Depression | Depression |
The Patient statement is: I feel fine, but when I smile or laugh my expression sometimes morphs into an ugly smirk and I feel my throat tightening up. [26yo/m] But I'm fine :)
This is not a call for help or anything, I'm just interrested in sharing observations and ideas with others.
It's funny sometimes how disconnected from my emotions I can be; I'm always weirded out that people can easily get emotional anywhere, with anyone... personally, I usually need 5-10 minutes of alone-time and self searching to know what it is I feel.
As I said to an ex once : I don't get angry, sad or happy. I'll just get pleased or serene if things are good, and depression will slowly get to me otherwise.
But even if I don't know it, the emotions are still buried deep down somewhere, and my body knows it. When things are bad, I'll notice it with a few things : Bad concentration, shaking hands, lack of appetite (which leads to a few things due to bad nutrition) and my face acting weird when I smile.
And about that face thing... I'm still not sure if I'm having it this week because of some feelings I don't know I have, or just because I'm sick and my nose is all clogged up; It might just be that hahaha.
-------
Hmm, I could keep talking about different aspects of my depression... I always did a lot of introspection, but no one ever wants to talk about the sad truths, so there's a lot in my head I just never told anyone...
So that'll be all for the subject of ** buried emotions' effect on the body**!
I'll wait your reactions to know whether or not it's the kind of talk this reddit could appreciate.
God knows there's plenty more to share and explore if you guys like to talk about it :) Based on the context, the disorder may be: Depression | Depression |
The Patient statement is: I am loosing my financial aid. It's all because I missed one test not even because I am depressed, but because I simply forgot. This one test, one small mistake, has set all the money and hard work I put into my education in flames. The professor won't let me make it up. It was an online exam that I missed by a few hours. Now the highest grade I can get isn't enough to keep my GPA high enough. I had a high B in this class before.
I want to lay on the highway and let my skull be crushed over and over. I can't take this bullshit anymore.
Why do I ruin everything good in my life? Somehow? I had everything I needed to succeed. But I just can't. What use is that? All I know how to do is school, but lately even that seems impossible to me. I have no life outside it. And now it'll be gone.
I don't know what else to do. Based on the context, the disorder may be: Depression | Depression |
The Patient statement is: Is anyone willing to give me advice over PM about an issue I'm having? [deleted] Based on the context, the disorder may be: Depression | Depression |
The Patient statement is: Anxiety has caused 15 years of degeneracy I tried to be positive after New Years eve. It was the start of a new year and the middle of my time off work. I was going to fix my degenerate life one step at a time. This positive attitude lasted two days.
Now I have one day left of my holiday and I am back in the same depressed state I have been for 15 years, and I know I can't fix myself. Every day I fail to achieve anything, I am too slow and lazy, I can't think and I can't act. 15 years of degeneracy, 15 years of doing nothing with my life but work and sit in my room playing games and watching Youtube.
I do a couple of chores and then the day is over, time goes so fast and I move so slowly. I can't organize and run my life. I can't do the most simple things. I'm so lazy and slow.
Work is hell and I cannot do another year of this. I just want to die. Even if I didn't have 15 years of degeneracy to try and fix I still have a body and mind too screwed up to allow me to live. I have to die, that is all that is left for me to do.
I have nothing, no feelings, nothing interests me, I tried making youtube videos, I made one, and now I have this mental block stopping me. I am too stupid anyway. I can't do this anymore. Whats the point if I can't think and I can't feel. Whats the point if life has no meaning.
I can't be bothered to do anything and I have waited 15 years for that feeling to pass. I am meant to be looking for a property but I don't care about my life at all. I wanted to work on something this holidays so I had something to hold onto but I didn't do anything as expected.
I need a way out of this nightmare, I can't take it anymore. I have no way out. I am trapped.
Based on the context, the disorder may be: Anxiety | Anxiety |
The Patient statement is: How dangerous is it really to eat or drink grapefruit juice while on Latuda? Yes, I have read the pharmacology of what happens when you combine the two, but as with all drugs, I think it might be relative. This sounds a little whiny, but grapefruit is my absolute favorite fruit/food and I haven't touched it in the three or four years I've been on Latuda. Would it REALLY be a danger for me to have a few pieces of grapefruit once? Based on the context, the disorder may be: Bipolar | Bipolar |
The Patient statement is: It hurts She is newly diagnosed bipolar, i had my diagnosis almost ten years ago.
We met at work 2.5 years ago and she was pregnant within 3 months.
I wanted to help her and save her.
I gave my life to support her during the pregnancy and the hormone swings while adjusting to new psych meds.
I stopped going to see friends, i didnt spend money, i cleaned and cooked and worked.
Our son came and she had post partum, i doubled down on taking care of them.
I had nights where I didnt sleep to watch her and make sure she didnt hurt herself.
I got up every time the baby cried, for 6 months.
She spent my 3.5k tax return in a month. I cancelled all my planned hobby upgrades and canceled our vacation.
She started getting better. Was in a bad job and did out patient for a long time.
She was still erratic, still spent money, liked to go off her meds. I started thinking I wanted out.
She got better.
She started to shut down and one day admits that she wants to split.
"Yeah, good, thats what we both want."
Within 10 days shes on her first date.
3rd 4 days later.
She tells me "we agreed to split cause we werent in love."
I say "no, I was worried about you and wanted you better but i couldnt bear that burden."
She's seeing one or two or three guys now, every night she doesnt have the baby.
I dont hold it against her because we arent together.
I just wish she hurt as much as I do.
Supposed to go out with a woman Tuesday, maybe Ill cancel. Based on the context, the disorder may be: Bipolar | Bipolar |
The Patient statement is: Feeling suicidal for the first time in 3 years I haven't felt like this since I was dating my last boyfriend who was heavily abusing me mentally and physically. I'm in an argument with my current boyfriend, who up and left, said he was leaving his phone in his room, and is going out for a drive to clear his head. I'm suffering from severe anxiety and stress over this and other things in my life, and am wondering, once again, if it's better to just not be alive. I don't feel alive anyway, what's the difference? I've never really felt this level of sadness and emptiness in almost 3 years. Does anyone have advice? I feel like I'm having a genuine panic attack. Based on the context, the disorder may be: Suicide | Suicide |
The Patient statement is: Good gods I’m too depressed.
I think I’m ready to throw in the towel. Based on the context, the disorder may be: Suicide | Suicide |
The Patient statement is: Best artistic personification of the internal struggle with bipolar disorder I've seen so far. Before mood stabilizer weight gain, I danced. This particular season of So You Think You Can Dance was on around the time I was diagnosed and this routine has always perfectly personified the hold Bipolar Disorder has on me. I always find myself looking to art when working with clients to help them relate, process and express their emotions. This is what helped me.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QZ-1cq8ibwg
In the piece, the man is meant to represent addiction. For me, it's my mental illness. Her struggle against him and shaky steps away are my attempts at getting stability and each time I fight and move further it gets a tighter hold on me. Sara Bareilles' Gravity is the perfect song, too. '
"Set me free, leave me be. I don't want to fall another moment into your gravity. Here I am and I stand so strong just the way I'm supposed to be."
But of course, it's bipolar disorder so, "You're onto me, and all over me". Based on the context, the disorder may be: Bipolar | Bipolar |
The Patient statement is: Latuda isn't helping I'm on 120mg of Latuda and I feel like it's taken away the sparkly mania but now I'm bouncing between depressed as fuck and almost content. Is content what happy is on medication? Because it's literally breaking my heart. Based on the context, the disorder may be: Bipolar | Bipolar |
The Patient statement is: Man have I Been Busy! I can feel it creeping in... So I just got over a manic episode, and only a month later, I can feel a new one coming on. This is horseshit. I hate it, but I have been getting a ton done. And I started a blog. I've been writing in a journal since I was 8, so I thought if I want to write a book that's a good place to start. PM me if you are interested. I just made the page today. So even though life is hard right now there is hope that things will get better. Based on the context, the disorder may be: Bipolar | Bipolar |
The Patient statement is: Where do you go when there is no more? [deleted] Based on the context, the disorder may be: Suicide | Suicide |
The Patient statement is: Frightened of what people might think Do a lot of people recognize this? Somehow, although I know it's not true, all the time there is this part of my brain really trying to convince me people hate me, makes me almost obsessively relive embarrassing situations etc. It's always revolves around social situations and makes me dread leaving the house because, you know, suppose it's true that people hate me. I have a history of getting bullied a lot and my father was an aggressive alcoholic so a lot of my depression stems from people behaving badly and I still perceive them as threats. It doesn't help that I'm a schizoid. I'm at this stage that I'm not ready to kill myself but would like to just got to sleep and not wake up. I'm 40, things should really start to look better. Based on the context, the disorder may be: Suicide | Suicide |
The Patient statement is: I honestly feel like I am going fucking crazy [deleted] Based on the context, the disorder may be: Expressing | Expressing |
The Patient statement is: I dont even know anymore I cant even count how many things I like to do that I just quit doing. I mean why do I bother even starting. I love playing music but quit every instrument I try to learn as soon as I buy it it seems. Every time I feel like getting in shape and exercising I immediately think to myself "whats the point, weather I can run a mile or not doesnt change that I am spending even MORE time every day doing things I hate to do. I have high bloodpressure and the medications I am on mean drinking could seriously cause problems for me. Thats great. I didnt have a drinking problem, but I nliked going to breweries with friends. Cant do that anymore. They dont even invite me. I dont really know what the severity of the side effects would be but I feel like sometimes I should just YOLO it and get sloshed just to see what my body does. Man. I dont even know what I am doing anymore. all I do is sleep and work, and on my days off I have to set alarms or I will literally sleep through my entire weekend. I have even slept for literally 48 hours before. I woke up happy and ready to begin my weekend and then I saw the date on my phone. it was monday. I had to go to work in 2 hours. I almost lost my shit. My roommate didnt even know I was home. He had a party and loud music apparently and I didnt even notice. I am so sick of just being present in my own life. I show up I breathe, I go home. Fuck everything. Based on the context, the disorder may be: Depression | Depression |
The Patient statement is: Lamictal 25mg up to 50mg. Once a day or space it out? My doc didn't specify whether to double up my evening dosage or take twice daily. I take 50mg Zoloft with breakfast and 25 Lamictal before bed.
Yes, I could call the office and try to get ahold of her, but I'm curious how others did it. Did anybody cut the pill and do a bit at 37.5? Thanks!
EDIT: Thanks for all the replies. It took me two attempts - one lengthy call to the receptionist who struggled to understand my question, promised to pass it along to the Dr and then never got back to me. The second call was shorter but this receptionist started querying me if the medication made me sleepy or not. She finally said, "The Dr wrote to take both pills at bedtime." This is what the Dr said? "Yes." FINALLY. Based on the context, the disorder may be: Bipolar | Bipolar |
The Patient statement is: Can someone please just talk to me, I'm so sick of feeling down [deleted] Based on the context, the disorder may be: Anxiety | Anxiety |
The Patient statement is: I tried taking a leave of absence but my advisor doesn't believe I'm depressed Is it because he doesn't think depression is real? Is it because he thinks that the documents about my depression are fabricated or I bribed the psychiatrist? At this rate, I'll get a bunch of Fs and wave goodbye to my scholarship, the only thing that keeps me mentally alive nowadays. Based on the context, the disorder may be: Depression | Depression |
The Patient statement is: Please someone help me. It's been so long I've been without a person to talk to, I'm dying from loneliness. I have no friends, my family abuses me to a point where the want to leave a bruise on me. The online suicide help line isn't working because I can't talk to anyone without breaking down and crying, I have terrible anxiety and can't chat online to the prevention hotlinw because it's always busy or closed. The school counsler isn't helping, I can'y say anything because my dad would get taken away to jail because he abuses me but I dont want to do anything because he is dying, he has had 2 heart attacks already so I don't want to hurt him... my mom is going through and ways lot so I don't want anything to happen to her even if she hates me an ignores me. My two sisters don't give a shit about me and like to gang up on me and call me down and hit me. My older brother threatens to kill me and he ended up choking me once. I have no other family that likes me because I don't talk to them and that I ruin their lives. This is probably because I'm a bitch and rough, I'm not girly but I try to be.
But should I kill myself? I have nothing because I'm failing school and my parents won't take me for help, or to see a therapist. I can't take any of this anymore. For almost my whole life. But I probably won't kill myself... I'm scared to die. Based on the context, the disorder may be: Suicide | Suicide |
The Patient statement is: Depressive thoughts & mystery Got access to an inbox where the owner is/was gov. Travels a lot and seems to be involved in some heavy dealings. Hid depression from what I can see = everyone. Now he contemplates selling secrets to clear debts. Is it bad to want to keep reading the guys
Writings (stores his thoughts in drafts). Crazy world. Secrets anyone Based on the context, the disorder may be: Depression | Depression |
The Patient statement is: I cut myself for the first time I sometimes have these moments when I want to die, it's really weird because they happen in the "best" moments, like when I'm having fun or talking with friends... A few hours ago I had one of these moments again, and I hurt myself. It's weird, because it somehow filled me with joy and I don't now why, now I regret it. It happens only for a few seconds and it was never so bad before. I'm kinda scared.
I'm not seeing a psychiatrist yet, so I just had to let go of my thoughts here, reading people's stories of similar things and seeing that I'm not alone with these problems is somehow calming Based on the context, the disorder may be: Depression | Depression |
The Patient statement is: Has psychology improved so diagnosis is easier, or has depression become more commonplace? I have a bunch of friends who have been diagnosed with depression, and I have, too, so I started to look into it and the percentages have increased a lot since the second half of the 20th century, and the two main conditions - MDD and PDD - have onset ages in the early 30s. This has me wondering if the world, and our lifestyles (particularly professionally) are simply more depressing and than they were 25 or 50 years ago. I know my world certainly feels more depressing in mid-life than it did in college or as a kid. Based on the context, the disorder may be: Depression | Depression |
The Patient statement is: Feel anxious and alone, need someone to talk too So i'm in my third year of university. I feel really alone here. I have a girlfirend i've been with for almost 2 years but she is doing a placement year about 2/3 hours away. My family arn't very close with each other so I don't speak to them much, and the people I live with are nice but I can't really talk to them about this stuff. I speak to my girlfriend about it mainly but I don't want to sound like a broken record to her. I've had anxiety for years which im trying to cope with and improve with CBT therapy at the moment. I havn't slept in 2 nights and i'm not eating well, due to general anxiety and stress from university work. I feel like I need support from someone in person but I can't get it here. Does anyone have any advice, thank you. Based on the context, the disorder may be: Anxiety | Anxiety |
The Patient statement is: Feeling discouraged after girl ghosted me I recently started talking to this girl that I’ve known for a while. We planned on going out the other night but out of nowhere she stopped messaging me back. I haven’t really dated much since I broke up with a long term girlfriend about a year and half ago. I was just really excited about this date and it’s a bummer that she just kinda stopped talking to me.
I have a lot of good things going in my life but for some reason I can’t quite get over this. Based on the context, the disorder may be: Depression | Depression |
The Patient statement is: I'm so worthless. So I have this medical condition - it's a lot like cancer, but not quite as serious - which requires me to get treatment every two weeks or so. This treatment is incredibly expensive - somewhere in the range of 5-7 grand a pop - but luckily, I live in Canada where this is all covered by the government (up until you turn 18 that is [I'm 16]). This means that in the past 8-10 months, my own personal healthcare coverage has burned through close to $150,000 of precious tax payer money. I am not worth anywhere near that much. From an economic perspective, the nation would be better off if I just offed myself: this is a fact. I don't contribute to society. I don't have a job, do well in school, or do anything to even remotely justify this incredible sum of cash being spent on my welfare. And to top it all off, I'm also, for the most part anyways, something of a social pariah - both at school and at home. My family only loves me because I'm their family - it's an obligation to them, not a privilege. I have no friends either because most people just think I'm mean. I am. I'm not worth it. I just wish that, instead of the government pumping hundreds of thousands of tax payer dollars into my bloodstream, that they could instead just give me the money so that I could donate it to people who need it, and dare I say deserve it, more than I do. Based on the context, the disorder may be: Depression | Depression |
The Patient statement is: Just tried to be friendly and social And was reminded how little I care for anyone's conversation. I can't even focus on it.
I lasted maybe 20 minutes...and just came to my room to hide. I also got a lot of anxiety after the fam dunked a turkey into a oil pot and it overflowed and caught fire. Thankfully the propane fire died out and the fire did to.
Anyways, I said fuck that...not worth the risk and let drunk guys fuck up my life. Based on the context, the disorder may be: Depression | Depression |
The Patient statement is: Anxiety about getting a haircut I haven't been to a barber in at least 5 years. The anxiety got bad enough that I started doing it myself, but I needed my Dad's help to clean up the back. I tried doing it myself but I could never seem to get it to work, even with a hand-mirror.
Now I've moved to a new city on my own, and my hair is getting long enough that I need a haircut, and I'm a nervous mess about it. I don't even know what to ask for. Is it okay to go in and just tell them to give me a haircut? Based on the context, the disorder may be: Anxiety | Anxiety |
The Patient statement is: I don’t feel like talking to anyone ever again. Talking to people has become such a chore and I hate it. I feel fake while I do it and I’m so fucking fake. I hate everyone and wish people just avoided me. I’m so tired of this. Based on the context, the disorder may be: Depression | Depression |
The Patient statement is: 28 Male | Who has never been in any relationship, is hurting inside because of it. [deleted] Based on the context, the disorder may be: Depression | Depression |
The Patient statement is: The first thing I did after opening presents was cry I ran up to my room and cried for the first time in over a year, which is saying a lot for someone as bitter as me. I’m back home from college, and a family Christmas was supposed to feel good.
I know I’m lucky to even have parents, especially ones that give me gifts, but every gift means something, and the meanings hurt. I only got food/dishes and other stuff for getting my own place and staying away from them. I needed a new laptop case, and I didn’t get one. I don’t give a fuck about a laptop case, but I’d like a mother that listened for once.
I used to have a horrible video game addiction, but I went cold turkey this year to focus on school. My parents know this, so of course they got me an Xbox gift card. They even got me a “funny” T-shirt about neurobiology (my major), like I’m still 12 and it’s still socially acceptable to be a fucking loser who wears shirts like that.
I don’t deserve to be allowed to complain about this. I should be grateful, but it’s like watching someone be mandated to give you gifts. I imagine it must be bitter for them, NEEDING to give me something when the only thing i expresses interest in was a way to safeguard my laptop. Knowing I’m just an annoying obligation to get “done” with hurts, is all, even if the way they express it would be nice for a lot of other people.
After I fled to my room, my dad came upstairs and told me to get a job during break and recommended I call the theatre I used to work at to see if I could come in today. How can someone be so insensitive? Based on the context, the disorder may be: Depression | Depression |
The Patient statement is: I'm at my end but I have to make a choice I am in so much physical and mental pain and I want it all to stop. My dilema is that I have 2 beautiful little baby rats that have been keeping me above water for the last 10 weeks but they are no longer enough. I want to do it but I can't leave them and there are no decent places I can take them to be safe for when I go.
Maybe I just need to talk to someone, maybe there's nothing that can be done. I don't know. I need help. Based on the context, the disorder may be: Suicide | Suicide |
The Patient statement is: New to this community and newish to a diagnosis of bipolar It’s going on a year now since I was diagnosed as bipolar. I had a manic episode at the end of 6 days of not sleeping, I was hallucinating colours a bit. Now I’m on medication for it, and I haven’t noticed much of a difference other than I feel things differently than I did before. Friends say I’m the same but maybe talk less. Anyways just posting here to see what this community is like. Based on the context, the disorder may be: Bipolar | Bipolar |
The Patient statement is: I don’t know what to do My mom used to hit me a lot and call me a piece of shit, tell me how stupid I am. She committed suicide almost 5 months ago now so I had to move in with my grandparents It was supposed to be me. I was supposed to kill myself, I made myself a promise when I was 10 that if things didn’t get better by the time I’m 20 then there’s no point in trying for another decade. I can’t kill myself because I hear my grandmother crying over my mom almost everyday, these walls are paper thin. She says she’s really looking forwards to dying in the next couple of years, because she’s getting older. I don’t have any friends anymore, I’m disassociated almost all the time. I can’t do this anymore. Based on the context, the disorder may be: Depression | Depression |
The Patient statement is: Should I start taking antidepressants? It's been half a year since I've been able to feel normal. Time seems to take forever to go by, but the weeks seem to disappear. I just want the pain to stop, but I can't take my life because there are other people that would be hurt by that. I just want to feel normal again. Based on the context, the disorder may be: Depression | Depression |
The Patient statement is: I don't know how long all this will last. I don't know how much more I can handle. Between my own mental issues (mainly dealing with anger and fighting against a possible depression), trying to deal with my narcissistic mother (who, of course, reminds me of the fact that she owns everything I have and am anytime she can) and trying to keep my aspie chronically depressed girlfriend alive, I think everyone forgot about me.
I don't think love is worth it if it brings you so much pain.
I don't think love is worth it if you think that every lull in instant messaging means that she killed herself
I don't think love is worth it when she gets angry, selfdamaging and suicidal because of something that happened but has a solution
I don't think love is worth it when sometimes, in the middle of a sleepless night, you think that, even if it became an abusive relationship, you just KNOW you wouldn't been able to end the relationship because you just KNOW she's gonna kill herself and you're too much of a weak person to not blame yourself for YEARS AND YEARS
Why did I put myself in this situation? Why did I think I could fix her?
Why do I feel all this pain despite Loving and Loving and Loving her above all? Based on the context, the disorder may be: Expressing | Expressing |
The Patient statement is: Hyper sexuality Hyper sexuality is really making me unhappy and I am not sure how to deal with it Based on the context, the disorder may be: Bipolar | Bipolar |
The Patient statement is: I am so tired of having no energy or motivation. Today I’m suppose to be going to a baby shower and I have no energy. I honestly think I could stay in bed on laying on the couch 24/7. Based on the context, the disorder may be: Depression | Depression |
The Patient statement is: I plan on killing myself at the end of the month. Trigger warning sexual abuse [deleted] Based on the context, the disorder may be: Suicide | Suicide |
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