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The Patient statement is: Up at 1am, my plan for this rollercoaster The last couple of days have been weird. Yesterday I was so low. I was all crying for no reason, very needy.
Today I’m up at 1am and not tired at all. My European colleagues are up so I’m working with them.
I cancelled a meeting with my director and told him I would email him. I said I wasn’t feeling well.
I messaged my team that I might not be able to make meetings because my sleep schedule was off.
My game plan is this - work, work, work until I can’t anymore and maybe I get tired. If I get tired I can nap because I’ve already given my team a heads up. They know I’ve been not well this week and have been very understanding of me pushing meetings back.
I see my pdoc tomorrow morning. Instead of telling her everything is fine I will tell her that I’ve been having these little ups and downs.
My director responded already saying it was okay to cancel our meeting.
I do have an email exchange going back and forth about what will technically work versus what is supported. Now that I’m a consultant instead of an employee I have to have other people weigh the risks and make the decisions. It is a shift in thinking and really annoying to have lost so much control.
So this is my plan. Also I want to clean up the house to surprise my husband because he is so awesome. I also need to have my son write thank you cards for his birthday presents. Plus I need to send my mom her birthday present a month late because I suck. Based on the context, the disorder may be: Bipolar | Bipolar |
The Patient statement is: Drug Habits are starting to hurt my academic life Im 17 now and a senior in high school. I started smoking weed when i was 16 just as a social thing with some close friends and we would usually get together once or twice a month to smoke and chill. It was all fine when it was with others until i ended up buying my own pipe this year and started having my own weed. As someone with depression it was just an easy way to make a bad day less shitty so eventually I was smoking almost every day and the only thing that would stop me was if I ran out of weed. It then started cutting into the spending cash I had because I was spending like a quarter of my paycheck on drugs every two weeks. Every time after I smoke I wake up super groggy and im often late to school which led to me getting a bunch of detentions for tardiness. Nobody other than my friends know I smoke and none of them know I think its a problem. My grades are starting to drop from As and Bs to Cs with a few Bs and I dont know if ill be able to stop. I've known that this is a problem for like two weeks but I just cant stop smoking. Based on the context, the disorder may be: Expressing | Expressing |
The Patient statement is: It’s my birthday... It’s probably gonna be a lonely birthday but I’m optimistic for the coming year, the past taught a bunch of hard lessons but now I’m gonna work on myself, try decreasing all my depressed thoughts and working on my anxiety. Work on being positive and happy.
I wanted to also mention to anyone out there who needs it, whatever hardship your going through right now you can make it out okay! You’ll be fine!
Have a great day and rockn day!! Based on the context, the disorder may be: Expressing | Expressing |
The Patient statement is: I can't handle any of this anymore, I'm completely broken. [deleted] Based on the context, the disorder may be: Suicide | Suicide |
The Patient statement is: I can't do anything I can't eat, or sleep, or even fucking watch Netflix. I used to love playing video games, now I can't muster up the strength to play. When I come home from school I just lie down and lay there until I fall asleep. Half the time I'm not even tired I just have the energy for nothing else. And now, I don't even feel sad, just empty. I don't feel sad or happy or angry, I feel nothing at all and it's killing me. Based on the context, the disorder may be: Depression | Depression |
The Patient statement is: A user wants to die next spring A user by the name of NaegaNerd (Not tagging him) posted on r/morbidquestions and said that he was going to kill him self next spring. We sould do something. He may be a troll but still. Based on the context, the disorder may be: Suicide | Suicide |
The Patient statement is: How do you cope when you need to study NOW while overwhelmed with hopeless existential thoughts? I need to get my shit together right now, just for the sake of going through a few more days, so I can pass my tests, then go back to my mind and the void and shit once it's done.
I'm considering suicide, but I haven't decided yet. But for a few reasons, the choice might be basically done if I don't pass these tests. Based on the context, the disorder may be: Depression | Depression |
The Patient statement is: I'm ending it on New Years Eve. I can't take it anymore. I can't take this anymore. I'm done. Based on the context, the disorder may be: Suicide | Suicide |
The Patient statement is: should i tell someone that i almost killed myself? I had the belt around my neck on NYE, ready to kill myself because I was done. Obviously, I didn't do it. Now, I know what rock bottom feels like I don't want to go there again. I have a somewhat new view of the world, I'm still depressed, but I want to actually get better now instead of wallow in my misery.
So my question is if I should tell someone? I'm close with my roommate, she knows my struggles with life and depression and anxiety. I feel comfortable telling her most things about my life, since I feel like she's one of the few people who truly care about my well being and won't judge me.
She asked me how my NYE went, and I told her most of the story, I just left out the part where I was ready to kill myself. But, I feel compelled to tell her or someone that I was ready to die, that if I had a gun I would be dead, but now I don't feel like that. I want to let her know that simply her friendship with me has helped me, but I don't know if that's too much of a heavy subject to bring up.
Would you bring it up? Is it worth it to bring it up? Based on the context, the disorder may be: Depression | Depression |
The Patient statement is: Tired of being told to embrace suffering I'm fucking tired of waking up into this shit, I'm fucking tired of justifying my pathetic existence over the mistake my parents made of having a sorry excuse of a son. Everyday is the same and the numbness is becoming overwhelming, my meds aren't working, therapy sucks, I'm trying here but for fuck sakes Life is supposed to be enjoyed and what happens when you find no enjoyment anymore whatsoever? 'Just keep fighting because where there is life there is hope' cliche is bullshit what hope is there? More suffering with very brief moments of clarity and cheap thrills of overrated experiences? Now here I am making a fool of myself on the internet with complete strangers, great more bullshit added on. All well fuck this. Based on the context, the disorder may be: Suicide | Suicide |
The Patient statement is: College seriously makes me contemplate suicide Please tell me I'm not the only one with the same mentality. I feel like I am.
Just when I thought I figured out what it is that I want to major in, the doubts and worries about what my future can hold creep back in and makes me have feelings of worthlessness and a want to end it all. On top of that, I'm so tired of the monotony that comes with college - it's literally doing the same shit every. single. day. You wake up, eat, go to class, study for exams, go back to sleep and do it until you graduate; the same cycle repeats just outside of college.
I hate it. I want to drop out, but I've come so far to get myself to a private college on a full-ride and I can't stand the thought of dropping out and disappointing my family members and the people who got me to where I am. I feel as though ending it all is the only solution for me. I'm currently seeing a therapist and a psychiatrist, but yet I can't seem to figure out how to manage these thoughts. Someone please give me some advice. I just need to talk to someone else who might be in a similar place. Based on the context, the disorder may be: Suicide | Suicide |
The Patient statement is: Small Victory Saturday 8.26.17 Whether you pulled out of bed or broke a world record, you put effort into something this week. What did you do? Let's praise each other for what we've accomplished and feel good about overcoming this disabling suck-age. Based on the context, the disorder may be: Bipolar | Bipolar |
The Patient statement is: Does depriving yourself of sleep on purpose count as self harm? Because if it does, I've been self harming since I was... 12...
Holy fuck.
Also, if you remember my last post (a week ago at this point), I lied through my teeth about being fine and that fucked me up pretty badly... Based on the context, the disorder may be: Depression | Depression |
The Patient statement is: Dilated pupils Does anyone else get dilated pupils when under stress/anxiety? I have had severe anxiety since the age of 6th grade. Now 33. This morning I woke up with slightly dilated pupils. I got into my primary care and she examined them and said nothing to worry about..that it's a flight or fight response. I also saw my opthamologist a few weeks ago for a checkup and all is good with my eyes but I was really freaked out today! Especially because it's a new symptom I've never experienced before. Can anyone weigh in? Based on the context, the disorder may be: Anxiety | Anxiety |
The Patient statement is: I don't feel suicidal. Just empty inside. My parents think I'm lazy and tired. They don't understand what it's like to not have motivation to do anything. I don't enjoy anything these days and my anxiety is at an all time high. Are those people laughing at me? Do I look stupid? I just want someone to really care. I just feel so empty all the time and I hate it. I should be enjoying my high school days with my friends but I just don't Based on the context, the disorder may be: Depression | Depression |
The Patient statement is: My boyfriend of 4 years not once has ever made me cum i love him, but i fake it every time
i’ve been with him since high school and we were both inexperienced at the time so it was a given we didn’t really know what we were doing.
Anyways he’s really vanilla and doesn’t wanna try anything new in sex. He doesn’t know how to give head right, and if i try to make suggestions his ego gets hurt and thinks he’s unsatisfactory so î just pretend i cum every time. Don’t get me wrong sex still feels good but ive never came as hard with him as i do when i masturbate Based on the context, the disorder may be: Expressing | Expressing |
The Patient statement is: i feel cursed i work at an animal shelter. we had two dog fights last week. both the result of doors not being shut right, and dog-aggressive dogs getting access to each other. i love all the dogs involved, it's hard not to get attached. the first fight resulted in both dogs being euthanized. i'm not sure about the second fight, since it was right before my "weekend", but i already said goodbye to them both. on one of my days off another dog i was really bonded to was attacked and didn't make it. this is not typical at all for this shelter. i think it's because i'm cursed. i lose everyone. important people like my dad die. my friends drift away from me because i'm too emotional and needy. people have abused me. i know i deserve it. i'm not a good person. these dogs needed another chance.
i'm ugly, inside and out. people act like your physical appearance doesn't matter but it does. everyone is ugly inside, nobody is special.
idk why i'm posting on here. i'm scared of the pain but i'm calm. i think this is what's best for everyone. i'm just going to keep spiraling and keep hurting people. i never learned how to cope. i cut and i started starving myself after my ex left me and i'm down to 100 lbs. i would have liked to be skinnier before this but i don't have the power to get through another day. i'm pathetic. i'm worried about my cat, he loves me, but only because he can't understand what i'm like. Based on the context, the disorder may be: Suicide | Suicide |
The Patient statement is: In which bipolar person is not sure if they are getting better or just slightly manic Welp, i'm feeling good but i'm hesitant to enjoy it. About two weeks ago I went up to 200mgs of Lamotrigine. I've noticed a big decrease in my anxiety and feel more emotionally resilient but since about last week things have been a little more up than i've felt in awhile. I've been unemployed for three months and finally found a job Friday. Then got an interview request for Monday. And i'm all, LETS WORK TWO JOBS! I'm convinced Monday's interview is mine. Friday is full time and Monday interview is for part time. I feel like it would be a good move for me to work both because my financial situation is in shambles given my long term unemployment, but am I too convinced that i'll land the job Monday? Am I being unrealistic about working two jobs? I know it will be tiring and I know I dont have to do it forever and I did it before for like a year once, but when I took on a second job during that time period I had just started and antidepressant and was hypomanic.
Outside of that, most days I feel like killing myself or at least consider suicide. Last night, it felt like it was silly I ever considered suicide. It seemed like my entire life stretched out in front of me. Things I want to do, I felt like I had purpose, strength, that I had a bad period and now its time for me to rebound with a vengeance.
And so, all this feels good but I fear its hypo or something. Or it could be that I just reached the therapeutic dose of lamotrigine and i'm feeling the effects of that. Its been a little over two weeks since we increased the dose so I guess I should be feeling it about now.
-_- I wish I could always feel this way. Based on the context, the disorder may be: Bipolar | Bipolar |
The Patient statement is: Netflix’s ‘Bright’ gets shit on by movie critics but ‘The Last Jedi’ is considered one of the best Star Wars movie. Are you kidding me? I don’t mind it when movies touch on subjects like discrimination especially since I’ve been discriminated many times growing up. If you don’t like to see it at all in movies I understand too! But it happens. I just ask that they do it right.
Both Bright and The Last Jedi (TLJ) does this. Where TLJ failed miserably with this by (in my opinion) pushing this discrimination to the point of ruining a franchise, Bright does incredibly well.
It touches these sensitive issues and does it right. Both can be enjoyable. But if I had to compare, both aren’t perfect but Bright was way better than TLJ.
However, I just don’t get how critics can shit on a movie that did it right (touching on sensitive issues correctly in film) vs TLJ which they basically and, pointlessly extended the movie by probably an hour, shoved this narrative so very awkwardly.
Feels like I’m taking crazy pills after reading these critics. Based on the context, the disorder may be: Expressing | Expressing |
The Patient statement is: Mom of 2 year old with horrible anxiety. Hi. This is my first ever post, so bare with me. A little background to start. I have been married for 4 years and we have a 2 year old. I recently went back to work in the last 6 months and I have been an emotional mess. We originally had it worked out to where my husband would be working days and I would be working evenings so our child was always with one of us. Great plan on paper. Once we started this, I was having terrible panic attacks about not being home to put my kid to bed missing out on night time routine and snuggles. After 6 weeks, I was offered to go to days and only have to work 3 days a week. My child now goes to a friend house on Monday and Fridays. Now my anxiety is all about how to take care if him if he gets sick, or if my friends kids get sick. My husband is still in his probation period and already had to call out once. My parents have been able to take off when I need them to so I don't have to call in to work. So now when he gets even the slightly cough or sniffles I immediately freak out and will panic the entire time I'm off work and try to figure out alternative care for him so neither of us have to miss work or risk getting me friends kids sick. It's been offered to me to get back to nights. I have to work because I carry the insurance for myself and child. My husband's work only pays for him. So what I'm ultimately getting to is, how do other people deal with this anxiety if anyone does? I currently see a therapist and she wants to hold off on putting me back on the medication I was taking for postpartum depression. Should I just bite the bullet and go back to nights and eliminate the child care issue all together? That's what I keep coming back to. I guess I just need some advice on what to do. My husband is fine with whatever I want to do. Based on the context, the disorder may be: Anxiety | Anxiety |
The Patient statement is: I am in control. No one else. Just me. [deleted] Based on the context, the disorder may be: Anxiety | Anxiety |
The Patient statement is: My parents are alcoholics and jobless and I’m beginning to resent them [deleted] Based on the context, the disorder may be: Expressing | Expressing |
The Patient statement is: Seeking advice. how can i get more motivated and less anxious/depressed? Thank you for taking the time to read this.
So I've always had bouts of anxiety, ever since I can remember. Like I get stressed really easily, feel like something bad will happen, and generally worry a LOT.
But my biggest problem here is, and I'm guessing it's because of anxiety, is I go through waves of depression. I recently turned 28 and these feelings have come on very strong. I work at a job that's okay, it pays the bills but it's not what I really want to do. My passion lies in media and content creation, and two years ago I started a youtube channel to express myself, and a blog to write stuff.
However, I've been having the HARDEST time staying fully motivated to contribute to those outlets. I really want to be consistant at it. Every day when I get home from work I tell myself I'm going to film and edit a video, or write something, but then I just end up watching TV or playing a video game. The weekends are no different. I do make videos and write from time to time, but not nearly as much as I would like. Hell, I even took a year break from YouTubing at one point.
Bascially, whenever I want to do these creative things I am almost immediatley met with feelings of self doubt. It's like a wall drops in front of me telling me I'm not good enough, halting my progress. It's a horrible feeling, and I try my best to overcome it and be more motivated, but it's so hard for me to do and I don't know why. If anybody has any tips on how to become more motivated and less anxious, I'm willing to listen.
Pretty much throughout my entire life I've been a worrywart, or stressed out about something, or worried about what others think of me. I'm tired of always feeling down and out, and want to get the ball rolling on my desired career. Any advice is welcome. Based on the context, the disorder may be: Anxiety | Anxiety |
The Patient statement is: feel like shit girlfriend just kicked me out because she needs space so im back at my parents putting on a brave face but really this is just the fucking tip of the iceberg have my worst exam period ever coming up in a few weeks and i feel so fucking worthless
everything would just be easier if i was dead Based on the context, the disorder may be: Suicide | Suicide |
The Patient statement is: I'm happy that my ex has slept with other people. [deleted] Based on the context, the disorder may be: Expressing | Expressing |
The Patient statement is: Mental effects after my mdma trip I'm not sure if anyone cares to read but for the ones who do I would like to say that, although the trip felt awesome and my mind was trippin balls. It made me realise a lot about myself and my mental health isssues. I can't really describe the feeling it's somewhere inbetween dread, anger, sadness and happyiness. I know that some fellow rollers might say its PMD but it isn't.. that's why I actually decided to post this.. Based on the context, the disorder may be: Depression | Depression |
The Patient statement is: Nothing is fun Like I said nothing is fun for me and the only person I trust and like doesnt read my message Based on the context, the disorder may be: Depression | Depression |
The Patient statement is: I wish i was strong enough to commit suicide, i feel there's nothing good coming for me... Based on the context, the disorder may be: Depression | Depression |
The Patient statement is: I think I’m branching a new kind of issue so in my experience when I have especially low days I like to sleep and with sleep comes dreams. my dreams have always been amazing, especially as they usually reflect what I wish would happen in my waking life. lately, I’ve been dreading getting up and some times I wish I would just stay asleep stuck in a fantasy world. it’s honestly getting to the point where I’d rather sleep for the sake I might dream than actually do productive things.
thoughts? Based on the context, the disorder may be: Depression | Depression |
The Patient statement is: Currently in A&E due to overdose and blood loss [deleted] Based on the context, the disorder may be: Depression | Depression |
The Patient statement is: Depression I think for the most part I've been depressed for the better part of 6 years. I can still live but its just brutally painful honestly. Its like a constant feeling of loneliness, despair, and low self esteem. I dont know how to go about getting help. Has anyone been through similar? I don't want to live this way anymore. Based on the context, the disorder may be: Depression | Depression |
The Patient statement is: It's a girl! I don't have any family that I can call and not many friends that would be happy for me. So I justed to say that after today's ultrasound, we are having a girl! Based on the context, the disorder may be: Expressing | Expressing |
The Patient statement is: Ive only been manic after weed binges, is it just a matter of time? I'm wondering if it's possible for me that the marijuana is the only thing that will induce mania. I have only been manic twice in my life and both times i was heavily smoking. I'd notice random signs of mania leading up to my psychosis and actual manic episode. Again this has only happened to me while i was heavily consuming marijuana. I am prescribed lithium but i am worried that I will never find out if weed was the actual problem if I keep taking it. I don't want to take medication for the rest of my life if I don't absolutely have to. Also, I am pretty worried about the harshness of lithium as my organs have shown to be weak to drugs in the past. The episodes happened about a year apart and there was depression in between. Should I wait and see if I have another episode staying sober? Or is it impossible once you have had mania for it to not reoccur? Based on the context, the disorder may be: Bipolar | Bipolar |
The Patient statement is: I stopped cutting because of him. And then he broke up with me. We said we’d be friends and that we might pursue our relationship another time. But I was the only one putting anything into it, so I stopped to see him pick it up. But he didn’t. We haven’t talked in so long. And now he likes another girl, and now I’m cutting again. He was the only reason I stopped and I don’t have him anymore. I feel so lost, and I can’t really blame it on him, because it’s all my fault. I’m so sorry I wasted your time... Based on the context, the disorder may be: Depression | Depression |
The Patient statement is: Would you consider dedicating your live to others instead of killing yourself? What do I do? That's the question my mind ponders. Maybe I don't like capitalism, maybe I don't like my life (and that means I am willing to die if my situation is bad enough), but I can't stand thinking other people could have had better living conditions thanks to me, but with death, I can't help anyone anymore.
Is it worth fighting one more day if that helps someone? Maybe you could even study something just to help people with your job, it's really satisfying to know that a human being has a better chance of happiness because of you. I know, you must be thinking that is not, but with the right perception you could start to see it this way.
What makes it satisfying for me is the fact that life is unfair and we with our actions have a way to impact other people's lives for the better. Maybe it's not such a strange idea, maybe it's worth fighting for.
That's what I am thinking about lately, to be selfless and live at least a few more years just to help others in need, to become a "small buddha" (as in accepting the fact the job may be tiring sometimes) that focuses on doing something worthwhile with his time.
I used to think something like "but you can't do anything important to help, it's not worth it". Maybe I can, and I just don't know yet. I want your thoughts. Based on the context, the disorder may be: Suicide | Suicide |
The Patient statement is: Confidence I seriously want to do Performing Arts, at college, I have an audition in January, but I have zero confidence! :(, and I don’t know what to do, as I feel I should be doing it! :( Based on the context, the disorder may be: Anxiety | Anxiety |
The Patient statement is: I don't feel emotionally ready to go back to Campus [deleted] Based on the context, the disorder may be: Anxiety | Anxiety |
The Patient statement is: Losing years at a time to depression, 27 still haven't finished 4 year degree. I don't know what to do. I don't know how to cope! At this point I have no idea how to even get back to the pathetic life I used to have.
I feel like the most pathetic person on redditt, I keep reading about other people who feel like they messed up because of depression and I feel like in comparison they are all doing amazing! I just don't know what to do any more.
I just turned 27 I have been in university since I was 18, trying to finish a four year degree, I was on my way to be done university May 2016 and then as per usual I needed extensions for all of my last four courses.... that was almost two full years ago......... I still have three more papers...
WTF is wrong with me... I haven't worked in 5 years, I live in a property owned by my parents and live off 1000 dollars a month that's from settlement from an accident (it will end very soon). I go weeks at a time without leaving the house. I spend every day telling myself I will do a little home work and then reward myself with some kind of self care but instead I spend all day every day doing nothing and intentional wasting time until its time for bed. I dont know why I do this and I hate myself for it.
Went to therapy for four years made me feel like garbage. Tried five different therapists one on one and three different groups.
Has anyone been through anything like this? Has any one gotten out of their own self created self destructive hell??
I feel stupid, Ive struggled with depression my whole life and it was one thing when I was a kid growing up in an abusive and dysfunctional family but Ive been an adult for almost a decade now and ill I've done is fuck myself over by being a stupid coward. Based on the context, the disorder may be: Depression | Depression |
The Patient statement is: How are you supposed to talk to somebody you haven't spoken to in three years? I want to do it, but I just have no idea what to say in the first message. I wouldn't even be able to continue after that and have a conversation... Based on the context, the disorder may be: Anxiety | Anxiety |
The Patient statement is: i wish i could be loved by someone I just feel so unlovable. family, friends patronize me i think. they dont really want me around, they just pity me. i wish i was worth it to someone to actually love.
i hate never being the first choice. always a replacement or fifth option. i just want to mean something.
i hate that im sitting alone at home again on a saturday night even though im a 20 year old girl in a college town. i wish i didnt feel so alone when im surrounded by so many people.
im at the point where i would just like some intimacy or physical contact with a guy instead of a relationship because i know no one would ever want to commit to me because no one ever has.
i wish i was worth it to someone Based on the context, the disorder may be: Depression | Depression |
The Patient statement is: Something good might have just happened but I don't know [deleted] Based on the context, the disorder may be: Bipolar | Bipolar |
The Patient statement is: Advice on bad memories I noticed something about myself.
Whenever i start to feel down my head reminds me of bad or embaresing things that happened.
Out of nowhere i start overthinking these moments from my life. Going trough them over and over again. When i'm alone at home i even start talking to myself about them as if i'd talk to someone else that was involved in it.
Even if i would do everything the same again and think i'm completely over it i still get these weird flashbacks along with feeling really bad.
Does anyone have similar experiences?
Maybe even some advice on how to stop giving these attention?
I hate how just getting reminded of some stupid moment from months or even years ago can drag me down like this.
Based on the context, the disorder may be: Depression | Depression |
The Patient statement is: Suicide at my school So I learned that a kid committed suicide at my school, my old school actually - I left a couple years back. I heard about it a couple weeks back, from a girl who is now part of my therapy group. Ironically, she lives down the street from me. It was her brother. It just triggered something within me, I don't know. Seeing her so sad, it made me feel guilty for ever questioning the importance of my life.
But the cuts still burn. And my head hurts.
I really need someone to talk to. Based on the context, the disorder may be: Depression | Depression |
The Patient statement is: It's not all in my head Along with bipolar, BPD, PTSD, and panic disorder, one of the big things I've been struggling with the past few years is chronic pain. My old PCP wouldn't take me seriously, and kept telling me to take Tylenol and lose weight.
I had an appointment with my new PCP yesterday and my blood test results came back. My vitamin D is very low and I also tested positive on a blood marker for autoimmune disorders. So, bad news is I probably have something like fibromialga. Good news is, it's not all in my head! I've struggled with pain so much that I really thought it was psychosomatic at this point.
I cried yesterday after taking gabbapentin. Even marijuana does not take away the pain like this drug does. For the first time in many years, my joints don't hurt, I don't have aches all over my body. I feel like a huge weight is lifted, and I just wanted to share with you guys. I woke up today at a normal hour (I've been sleeping upwards of 14 hours a day for months due to pain/depression) and wasn't in pain for the first time in as long as I can remember.
I feel like this is going to have a huge impact on my mental health. I've been in a depressive slump for a good year or so, with little blips of happiness. I feel like I can do things and be happy again. Based on the context, the disorder may be: Bipolar | Bipolar |
The Patient statement is: What is the point of love If all love does is lead to heart break what was the point in the first place. I've been single for 5 years now and I can't find love anywhere I go. Is it me? Am I just that unappealing ? THE worst part is nothing anyone says can help me. All I want is to be loved and held and cuddled and I have no one who can be that for me. I thought the point of life was to spawn. How can I feel like I'm the only person unloved? Carbon monoxide sounds tasty right now, but I know I'll never find love if I kill myself. Is it even worth it? Will the next person end up leaving me aswell? Everyone I know is happy myself NOT included. What's so wrong about trying to find love. Where is it? Am I capable of finding it in the first place? Is there something wrong with me? If so someone tell me what to change please. Based on the context, the disorder may be: Depression | Depression |
The Patient statement is: Family issues I feel so bad, but it’s hard for me to get along with my family. Even when we don’t fight just being around them makes me sad because I don’t feel like I fit in with them. It’s almost like we are not on the same wave length. I’ve found a friend who I wish so badly was my family. I’ve never felt a connection like this with anyone; but when I was little I had imaginary friends who I imagined I felt connected to and accepted in this way. Anyway, my family doesn’t like this friend, he’s not a member of our religion and doesn’t live by rules that my parents deem as “appropriate”. I feel guilty because I prefer this person to my family. I’ve always longed for this connection. I feel so bad that my family loves me (I love them too but I need distance 😕) but they aren’t the people I’d prefer to be around if I could be with anyone. I feel guilty and bothered knowing family is so important even though there’s others out there who aren’t my family but help me feel better and more at ease and loved in ways that I want to be loved. Does this make sense? Sorry if it’s badly articulated. Trying to explain my feelings in words doesn’t always work. My family aren’t bad people... but our personalities don’t fit well and I don’t feel understood and we don’t have a lot in common.😕
I feel trapped and like an outsider. Based on the context, the disorder may be: Depression | Depression |
The Patient statement is: Hypomania distractions How do you guys deal with hypomania? Currently having one of my rapid episodes and I just wanna get my mind off it. Feel like I'm going crazy in my own skull Based on the context, the disorder may be: Bipolar | Bipolar |
The Patient statement is: Searching for love while depressed... So I know this post might get a few down votes but I like you guys and girls to hear me out, but if you don't want to hear, er... read something you might not like, click off now. I understand.
Sometime today/yesterday someone posted about how they were in a relationship while depressed and some people were saying stuff like "at least you're in a relationship" or your in a relationship you have no reason to be depressed."
Needless to say they weren't happy being told that they're not depressed and made another post stating that having a relationship doesn't mean you cant be depressed... I'd like add onto this.
So just some background about me quickly. I suffered through depression from 2008-2015 and to this date, I've been single for a little over 5 years. This is where I might get my down votes. Guy's you don't need a relationship to help yourself out of depression, hell, starting a relationship MIGHT make your depression worse. WAIT WAIT WAIT, hear me out.
I'm not saying completely stop looking for a relationship, I'm saying don't make it your first priority. From my experience, I felt like I was undateable, I was lucky to get into one though. I learnt that starting a relationship while depressed, my depression only changed what I was depressed about, I started regretting how I was unable to get the qualifications for the job I wanted. It ultimately my depression ruined my relationship.
Secondly I want to add, I'll be about as blunt as a hammer. You're EXTREMELY vulnerable! There are many, MANY people who are extremely evil in this world and they'll go out with you, just to use and abuse you and not because they love you.
If you're desperate to be loved, then at the very least if this is the only thing you take from my post is don't believe that a relationship will cure you of depression and ultimately STAY SAFE! Don't jump in blind into a relationship, I really don't want you guys to date someone who'll make things worse!
Based on the context, the disorder may be: Depression | Depression |
The Patient statement is: Never been diagnosed Hey guys, for the longest time I've exhibited traits of depression, and when I was in my darkest time I never reached out to anyone and kept it all a secret. Now that I'm in a much better head space years later I've started "coming out" as someone with depression to myself and others. I've never been diagnosed with anything, I've never spoke to a professional about it, but I've just assumed that's what's wrong, because it seems obvious, my mother suffered for years. These days, half the time I'm good and productive and happy, but I go through periods of a week or 2 weeks where I'm constantly down, unenthusiastic, lethargic and scattered, normally triggered by any problem, big or small.
I'm also very dry humoured and constantly making jokes about my depression around other people, and some people I suspect don't believe I'm actually depressed. And sometimes I think maybe I'm not either, despite exhibiting blatant traits. Do you guys think it matters if I believe I have depression or not? Based on the context, the disorder may be: Depression | Depression |
The Patient statement is: Guilt complexes anyone? My whole life is just dedicated to making my parents proud. I'm 25 now, they're normal parents and they just say they want me to do what makes me happy. But I have to admit, what seems to be most gratifying for me is when I know I've been a perfect little goody two-shoes. When I've made them the most proud. When I know I'm basically perfect. I get so guilty about letting them down, disappointing them, stepping out of line, etc. I just went on a two month secret hidden drug binge and nearly lost my mind. Nobody knows anything, but the guilt of how I nearly hit rock bottom overwhelms me. Does anyone have any advice on basically just letting go and living for me and me only? Not letting the stress and guilt of feeling like I've let people down haunt me? I'm a good person with a pure soul and love for all things human. But I tend to have an addictive personality and do dark things in secret. But I know most people live this way, it's how you interact in society that counts, as long as you aren't harming yourself or others. How do I let go?
Thanks and happy thoughts Based on the context, the disorder may be: Depression | Depression |
The Patient statement is: Is there something wrong with me? I got out of the psych ward after a two week stay just a few days ago. They diagnosed me with Major Depressive Disorder, but I don't know how accurate the diagnosis could be given that I have the tendency to act accordingly to avoid certain diagnosis. My mother keeps trying to label me as a psychopath or sociopath, or a borderline. Mainly because I don't love her, I don't necessarily care about her or my brother. I think about them dying a lot, but I wouldn't kill them or anyone. I just know that I wouldn't particularly be upset if it happened, and that goes for most other members of my family.
I do have feelings for a few of my friends and partners, boyfriends or friends with benefits but I can't picture losing them like I can my parents. Maybe I'm too self absorbed but I really don't know.
My IQ is 108 so I don't think I could be a sociopath given that they usually are much smarter than the average person. A psychopath I don't know either but I really don't want to diagnose myself with anything, I'd hate to label myself as that kind of person.
I used to be a Christian. I was reading an old journal a few days ago, from eighth and ninth grade. I had written out a prayer, angrily question God as to why he allowed me to be born without the capacity to love my family.
I've never been suicidal, or tried to hurt myself past a certain extent. It seems like every emotion I do have is stronger to me than it would be the average person, I don't know why. It's hard for me to empathize with most people.
Based on experience or general knowledge from a third party, what are the possibilities that my mother is right about me? Is this regular teenage angst? I'm nearly seventeen.
This has been bothering me for a solid amount of time now, I thought maybe this could be the place I get a few answers, at least opinions. Based on the context, the disorder may be: Depression | Depression |
The Patient statement is: All day at work I can’t wait to get home. When I get home I feel empty and depressed. [deleted] Based on the context, the disorder may be: Depression | Depression |
The Patient statement is: apprehensive/scared to go to psychiatrist So my GP thinks I have Bipolar II and put me on a small amount of Abilify in conjunction with the Lexapro I've been taking for generalized depression/anxiety as a temporary way to balance out my mental state in to something less manic. I'm afraid to go to the psych for a true diagnosis in fear of it being on my medical records for the rest of my life, and being judged on that fact.. I feel like it would "color" any future help or diagnoses i receive be it through therapy or other medical issues.
Should I just bite the bullet and see the specialist my GP referred me to in order to ensure Abilify is right for me? I have been feeling better than before, but my heavy depressive episodes still rear their head about every 2 weeks it seems, so I'm not sure what good it is actually doing. Based on the context, the disorder may be: Bipolar | Bipolar |
The Patient statement is: DAE ever think back on all the people and times you were slighted or wronged/treated like shit... I swear some days this shit totally consumes me and is all I think about. All the fkn times people treated me like shit or slighted, put me down and made smart ass comments to me, I can't stop replying the scenes in my head and wishing desperately I could go back to these situations in time and lose my fkn mind on these pieces of shit. I think it's a major driving force to my anxiety all this anger I have towards people and I don't know how to let it go. I've tried hard but I just can't get these csuckers out of my head. I rly wish I believed in karma but I know that it's just bs Based on the context, the disorder may be: Anxiety | Anxiety |
The Patient statement is: Everytime I try to do something... It's interrupted. It's mis-timed. It's not meeting up to some self-standard.
It seems like everything I fucking do, there's a great chance of it being derailed and I'm so tired of it. Like today, I wanted to do a stream of a game because I'm new to streaming and I want to do some projects on there. 25 minutes in, when I was intending for an hour's worth, I hear a rapping of knocks on the door of our apartment and it's the bug people. I've forgotten about them. So, my roommate's stupid dog starts barking her head off and she's one of those dogs who can take a good hour on shutting up.
Pausing the game mid-stream, thought I had no time to get shorts on and worried about making them wait. So I open up the door to let them in, presenting myself in boxers/shirt on (lovely...). Meanwhile, I had to tend to the dogs because they have a habit of being so fixated on people and barking at them/being nosy. While they're off changing filters and such.
They leave after about 7 minutes and the roomie's dog just kept barking and barking. It was shaking me up and she listens to the roommate more than me. So, of course it was a struggle to even get her to listen. I had to trick her with a treat to get her into her cage because she just wouldn't stop. Even then in her cage, she barked on for a couple times.
Stream ruined, I'm too shaken/irritated/upset to resume or restart. There was someone I was talking to who hasn't responded in an hour so I assume he either passed out without telling me or doing something else without the courtesy of telling me. I'm trying to enjoy what little of freedom time I have before work and training starts next week and this shit happens.
And yet I'm discouraged from doing things. Story of my damn life. Based on the context, the disorder may be: Depression | Depression |
The Patient statement is: Has anyone ever tried hypnotherapy to understand what causes them anxiety? I can’t pinpoint what’s causing my anxiety. I feel like crying 24/7, finally cried in the car a little.
My brain won’t shut off. Based on the context, the disorder may be: Anxiety | Anxiety |
The Patient statement is: Some treat depressed people as a disease in a limb that has to be cut of to avoid spreading That’s how I feel sometimes Based on the context, the disorder may be: Depression | Depression |
The Patient statement is: I think I'm too stupid for life I don't have interests because I'm too unintelligent to learn about anything, even when I want to. I never did great in school. I don't understand people or how to befriend them. All around I am a very stupid person.
Whenever I look for support people tell me to get a hobby, go look out in public, or something. But I'm too stupid for any of that to work. So I think I'm not fit for life.
I don't have friends and people never really like me. I don't know what I'm waiting for from life. I've never enjoyed life. I don't know what I expect to happen but I still have a little optimism.
I have to wonder if I was born like this or I became like this. I was molested as a child and I believe that might have given me depression and possibly PTSD though I'm not sure about that. But I have been depressed from a young age and that didn't help me growing up.
All I want is friends and support, I would be the happiest I've ever been. I've never had someone tell me they love me or someone who wants good things to happen to me. I can't imagine having someone like that. I'm just not interesting enough for friends. Based on the context, the disorder may be: Depression | Depression |
The Patient statement is: I don't know what to believe anymore I don't know how to start this. This has been weighting me down for years and I need to share. I touched my niece inappropriately. I feel horrible about it and guilty. I constantly flip between I did it accidentally and purposely. Please read everything.
Was at my relatives house for 4th of July party. Just all day drinking and eating. I ended up falling asleep on the couch. Was woken up when it was my nieces bed time and she wanted to watch cartoon on the couch. So I sit up to watch some cartoons as well. I put my left ankle on my right knee and relax.
One the show starts she wants to cuddle and climbs in my lap. She curls on her side and rests against me. I put my arms over her. I don't remember exactly where my hands are. My head it back, eyes closed and I am just holding her whole she watches cartoons.
I don't know why but maybe to comfort her I start moving my hand back and forth. I honestly didn't register where my hand was positioned until later. Was on her outer thigh and my finger tips were brushing against her privates. I wasn't aware until she said "stop, that tickles." My hands immediately shoot up as I realized what I was doing. My god it makes me sick even writing it down. I didn't do it on purpose.
The tv and kitchen are one big room. My family and her parents were at the kitchen table like 10 feet away. I didn't mean to do it. It wasn't sexual in at way, i made sure after that to be extra careful where I place my hands now.
It has caused me so much anxiety. How to I explain this. What if she remembers or her parents find out and they think I did it purposely. I didn't do it on purpose. On the other hand I am an adult, I should have been more careful. Should have done something differently. I worry that maybe I did do it on purpose. I just replay that 30 seconds over and over in my head. How did I know what she meant when she asked me to stop because it tickled? I don't know what to believe and it's destroying me.
Based on the context, the disorder may be: Expressing | Expressing |
The Patient statement is: I can either have a great new years or stay at home I can either stay at home and drink wit my parents friends which will be shit or I can ride my bike about 4 hours to get to the city where my friends live. Part of that ride includes going over a fucking mountain. Plus, just took a ritalin pill so I'll be fucked after the ride. Based on the context, the disorder may be: Depression | Depression |
The Patient statement is: Just got a haircut and makes me look worse... Its not gonna get better. I'll let it grow out again and try something else but I don't even want to fucking leave the house after finals end and break starts. Its sooo fucking hideous.
My face shape and everything is so fucking hideous its beyond me.
Now 'cuse me why I go into the shower and take a cry for 20 minutes.
I think nature has decided that no matter what I do I don't deserve love. Based on the context, the disorder may be: Suicide | Suicide |
The Patient statement is: I Hate Myself Sometimes It figures that just as I was really comfortable with being alone, after several years of doing so, that the universe dumps someone from my past in my path. No one I'd ever been involved with, but had definitely been attracted to -when I go back and read old locked blogs, because I had been married then.
Yes, my reaction to this abrupt reunion was somewhat primal and very much of a deep attraction level... I even told him as much in a later conversation, but there was something else going on that scared the utter hell out of me. The part of me that trusted him completely, after nearly a decade, immediately. Even after I had been so horribly and psychologically wronged by so many men in the past.
I hated myself for that. So I let him go without more than a hug. One of us was shaking. I haven't seen him in months, but we talk and share so many intimate life details I feel closer to him now than I ever did my own damn husband.
I hate myself for trusting so fast, so much.... so easily. I hate myself for not being able to keep this platonic when I have no idea if it will never go anywhere, because my emotions are getting the better of me against my will. I hate the mixed signals I get. I hate that I feel like I can't live without someone so far away I can't do anything about it.
I feel like I've been so stupid through all of this and yet like I've not been in control during any part of it. Based on the context, the disorder may be: Expressing | Expressing |
The Patient statement is: They should sell pills that kill you nicely A form of consumer euthanasia would be nice. Based on the context, the disorder may be: Depression | Depression |
The Patient statement is: My life is being torn apart by my own failure and now my mother wants to kill herself [deleted] Based on the context, the disorder may be: Depression | Depression |
The Patient statement is: Everything just feels shit. I'm a 15 year old male who is suicidal. I told my mom and stepdad that I was very depressed and they laughed and said that I wasn't. I've also told my friends and one of them just thought I said it as a joke and my 2 other friends are too depressed to get help from.
I have been depressed since I was 13 but when I turned 15 I got suicidal. I feel lonely and I think about how I should kill myself when I'm at school or when I'm eating etc.
I almost never sleep for more than 2-4 hours per night which makes me very tired at school and I only sleep in class.
I don't really have a good reason for being suicidal except that I hate the way everyone lives, wake up, go to work, get paid, go home, eat, sleep and then it starts all over again. I also feel like i'm such a dick towards everyone, as I don't care about anything anymore, some people are annoyed by my negativity towards everything.
Being alive is just pain and suffering. I've almost stopped feeling emotions at all, I don't feel empathy towards people anymore, only for animals. Now at school i've just started pretending that everything is alright after someone said that I was emo or something like that and now it's just too hard to "be happy".
Based on the context, the disorder may be: Suicide | Suicide |
The Patient statement is: The Ones who Wander I take a step, to start my path, to see the truth behind my pain.
I take a step, to forget the time, to forsake my name.
I take a step, to wander alone, to wither in these darkest throws.
I take a step, to slip beneath the street, to swallow myself and become complete. Based on the context, the disorder may be: Depression | Depression |
The Patient statement is: how the fuck do i get through college I have a couple of exams and papers due next week...I've been fine with studying for the most part but this week, I've been stuck. I've been too drunk to actually get anything done, and everytime I want to do something, I have a drink or two and I wake up the next day hating myself and wanting to die... Based on the context, the disorder may be: Suicide | Suicide |
The Patient statement is: This vacation is fucking awful I’m in a beach house with 15 other people and I can’t get alone. People keep noticing when I stray off alone and have to keep watch on me. I can’t escape. They’re excluding me, but I feel like I’m also excluding myself. This is so shitty, we got here yesterday and I never wanted to come. I don’t want to be here, I don’t want to be anywhere. I am so lonely, I have nobody. Nobody. This world is so cruel, I can’t get out of my head, and nobody here gets that. I tried talking to my friend about it a month or two ago (who is on this trip with me) and she told me “just think of happy things”. These people don’t understand my inability to get out of this mind state. It’s thanksgiving and being surrounded by people who are so happy and cheerful has got to be the worst part of it all. I can’t keep doing this. I stopped cutting a month ago but I know I’m going to relapse again. I don’t know how to end this post. Fuck this. Based on the context, the disorder may be: Depression | Depression |
The Patient statement is: A week after being discharged.(Semi-trigger warning just in case) [deleted] Based on the context, the disorder may be: Depression | Depression |
The Patient statement is: Found my diary entry from last year. Fun times. [deleted] Based on the context, the disorder may be: Depression | Depression |
The Patient statement is: Tried to overdose on clonzepam last night As you can see... I'm still here. I guess it wasn't enough, and now I'm just left sad and disappointed. Based on the context, the disorder may be: Suicide | Suicide |
The Patient statement is: I made an attempt to join in on a group conversation and failed miserably. [deleted] Based on the context, the disorder may be: Depression | Depression |
The Patient statement is: My first psychologist appointment was yesterday Yesterday I went to my first appointment with a therapist, I was afraid because there was a lot of shame on my condition (depression and suicide attempts).
Now I felt more confident and I’m going to be attending to next appointments. The doctor was a really nice woman and she also plays league of legends as me and that give me a bound with her. She ask me to take a psychiatric treatment at the same time I take her treatment. I was anxious but I call this morning and I have both appointments (the first with the psychiatrist and the therapist) Saturday dec 2.
Wish me luck :)
Update: I have read all the comments, and I know there are some of you that don’t think have the courage to go to a specialist, I know is really hard, sometimes we feel hopeless or like we don’t have a fix for our situation, I’ve been there, I been fighting against my depression for 12 years and for fear, pride or whatever you want to call it I never reached help. But I hurt a lot of people, mostly my boyfriend, and I tell my self, this is enough, I’m not only hurting me, I’m hurting the people that care about me, I need to look for help, doesn’t matter if the people who doesn’t know my struggle call me crazy or attention wh*re. I need professional help, I google physiologist near my are ad I picked the first ones that came in. I take the courage to go alone, to actually talk about my feelings and you know what? It worth it because even if it was an scratch of what is happening in my life, the doctor listen to me, and told me is not my fault and I will be better because now my path is to be better and to know how to handle my emotions, and I know you guys will find the strength to go and look for help, because we have an illness, this is treatable and can be cured. There is hope at the end of this darkness surrounding us, and WE CAN DO IT. So please stay safe and strong. Based on the context, the disorder may be: Depression | Depression |
The Patient statement is: Don't text/facebook with girls. Keep it to an absolute minimum, no chit-chat.
If a girl tries to chit-chat with you, don't fall for it!! It will not help your case with her in the long run, text based chit-chat will get old in only a couple of days.
Yes I like to text with girls also, and yes it is enjoyable if you both want to do it - but in my 26 years of existence on this earth, every single relationship has ended because of shit online...
Mostly it is probably caused by my own clinginess, but that's what texting is, its just pure clinginess, and that will fuck up the relationship in the long run!
There is no point in the relationship where texting will do you any good. Answer her questions and whatever, but don't stay for chit-chat, always try to set up a meet...
It's a fucking slippery slope once you start writing her all the time... I know you like it, but it will hurt your case massively!
At the end of the day, a relationship is about being together with the person in real life... Based on the context, the disorder may be: Expressing | Expressing |
The Patient statement is: I swear to god my depression made me dumber then a 5 year old I'm a straight vegetable. Fucking kill me. It makes it so hard to function at work and school Based on the context, the disorder may be: Depression | Depression |
The Patient statement is: I just want to curl up in a ball, fall asleep, and not wake up. And for no one to care. The most heartbreaking thought I have is my mom's thoughts when she knows her kid wants to die. She doesnt know how to help. I dont know how to help either tho... Some fuckin weed would be a good start tho lol Based on the context, the disorder may be: Depression | Depression |
The Patient statement is: Bipolar rage Sometimes, sometimes the bipolar rage is real & I don't understand nor pity people who still get up into my face when I tell them multiple times to fuck off in no uncertain manner.
On the upside, I rather be suicidal & alone than back at home with the family so there's that!!
Based on the context, the disorder may be: Bipolar | Bipolar |
The Patient statement is: I've been debating suicide for 2 weeks now. I think I'm coming to a decision tommorow night to end it. I'm a 23 year old recovering heroin addict whose daughter is about to be born the 16th of this month. I have 4.5 months sober from all drugs and alcohol. My baby mama wants nothing to do with me and wants to keep my daughter away from me and raise her without me. I've tried to be cordial with her but she just assume I'm going to relapse and that our daughter doesn't need a drug addict dad in her life, regardless of if I'm in recovery or not. She called my probation officer and told him about my relapses and I find out on December 7th if I'm going to prison (not county jail) or not. Alot of my friends pretty much don't talk to me anymore and chose to be friends with my baby mama instead. She also blasts on facebook all my personal deep shit and mistakes like it's a huge fucking joke. They are the same mistakes I have a really hard time finding forgiveness in myself for. My family is also on my case about shit but never my siblings and want me out as quick as possible, which I understand that I need to grow up, but I'm just now learning how to take care of myself and at least just stay sober. This is my first Reddit post ever and it's not like me to throw my shit out there, but I thought it would be better here than on facebook. It's really no one I knows business about what I'm going through or more of the fact my baby mama will use it against me or I'm just throwing this "woe is me" bullshit, when in reality, it's the truth. I don't want to live anymore and I'm running very thin on reasons to live other than a possible hope I can be apart of my daughter's life and to help the next struggling addict/alcoholic. So yeah, this is where I'm at y'all. Based on the context, the disorder may be: Suicide | Suicide |
The Patient statement is: Depression feels like 'biological' sadness for me... Typical disclaimer...throwaway account because my brother knows my username.
I had this thought earlier today...I admit I'm still going through the denial and acceptance stages of admitting I'm depressed. Does anyone else also feel like depression is a 'biological' sadness? It's like I eat, breathe, sleep, and live sadness. It's a very different feeling from the temporary sadness you feel after watching sad movies. I think I finally understand now when everyone says you can't exactly 'shake off' depression. I've tried goodness knows how many activities to feel happy and good...but that 'blue' feeling is still there. The blue feeling is not self-initiated...it's just 'there', as it has always been for the past few years.
I could potentially win a billion-dollar lottery tomorrow but still feel like shit. I could meet the love of my life tomorrow but still feel sad. People (well-meaning friends and family) tell me to count my blessings and be grateful for what I have...I can count a million reasons to be thankful, and can still feel despair and anguish without meaning to.
Before anyone asks, my first step was to borrow depression-related books from the library this morning. Better late than never. Here's to a less despairing future... Based on the context, the disorder may be: Depression | Depression |
The Patient statement is: Thoughts of violence appearing suddenly. My depression has always involved a lot of self blame, guilt, and self hatred, as well as anger and emptiness. I would always take it out on myself, first by throwing myself off my bike once when riding down a hill, then cutting myself, which eventually stemmed into burning, scratching, and punching walls, but recently I've been getting extreme anger towards the people who have hurt me in my past, and especially my old school, where a lot of very bad events happened to me. I'm having urges to sneak in one day (school is out where I live currently) and start smashing windows and breaking computers and just destroying anything I can find in that shithole. I'm past the point of caring anymore, if I get caught and arrested I'll just kill myself, I just can't give a shit about anything anymore, I'm feeling more and more risky and I feel like I have to do this. I really don't know what to do, these thoughts won't stop and I have to do what they're telling me. Based on the context, the disorder may be: Depression | Depression |
The Patient statement is: Advice on Sleeping with Anxiety? I know, I should take her to dinner first (bah-dum-tiss!). But in all seriousness, I find my anxiety worst at night and it's very hard, rather, almost impossible to fall asleep naturally. So I've been using gravol for the past few weeks.
I have racing thoughts at night and usually bad dreams. I might have undiagnosed PTSD (definitely not sure yet) but I am going through trauma from abuse from my mother whom I thankfully am not living with or around. So despite journaling, deep breathing and watching fun movies, I'm still a wreck of a nervous Nancy before bed.
My question is, what helps you guys sleep when your brain is wild with fearful, sometimes angry thoughts? I personally don't want to rely on gravol forever. I've tried melatonin but it unfortunately doesn't help at all.
TL;DR: What do you suggest to help a very anxious person sleep instead of gravol? Based on the context, the disorder may be: Anxiety | Anxiety |
The Patient statement is: I'd really want to drown myself in self pity for being socially inept [deleted] Based on the context, the disorder may be: Expressing | Expressing |
The Patient statement is: Lexapro, what should i do? Hey everyone. So this is sort of my story with lexapro and I'm looking for advice on what to do moving forward. I started lexapro on november 8th for anxiety that was keeping me from being productive in school. I would just sit in my dorm and if I was alone I wouldn't be able to work because i constantly felt a pit in my stomach like something was wrong even if I was worrying about nothing at the time. Relationships were difficult, I kept stressing about dangers that could happen in the relationship or to my friends/girlfriend. I got put on Lexapro 10mg.
I took the lexapro, ate lunch, and went to my dorm for a nap. Upon waking up, I was incredibly sick feeling. I threw up twice and felt off for the rest of the day. I was worried and thought about not taking it anymore, but i persevered.
About a week and a half in, symptoms, along with anxiety, started disappearing. The only issues I had were occasionally, I'd feel a completely random sense of doom, and I would begin freaking out. This never lasted more than a minute or two, and I was able to walk it off most of the time.
The rest of the semester went well. I wasn't feeling anxious, I was happy, and doing well.
Then, about two weeks ago, I started feeling anxious again, slowly. Now I am at the point where I am constantly anxious, just like how i was before I was taking the lexapro. I constantly have a headache behind my eyes almost like a migraine and feel nauseous often. Now I'm back to square one and I'm wondering where to move forward.
My options, as I see them, are these:
1. Get bumped up to 20mg lexapro. This seems to help a lot of people with similar issues from what I'm seeing online.
2. Take wellbutrin alongside lexapro. I'm not sure if this would help but I've read that it helps with lexapro.
3. Start on a different medication completely.
No matter what ideas are given here, I'm seeing my physician soon to see what I should do.
EDIT: Being bumped up to 20mg, thank you all for your help and support! Based on the context, the disorder may be: Anxiety | Anxiety |
The Patient statement is: Anxiety causing a physical feeling in head Does anybody else sometimes just get a bit anxious, and feel this sensation in your head, almost like pressure welling up, and you have to take a second, and let it "siphon off" almost? It's difficult to explain. It's just like a wave of anxiety and this weird sensation will just hit you. The anxiety usually stays afterwards, for me anyways. But, does this happen to anybody else? It almost feels like your head is about explode of something. Based on the context, the disorder may be: Anxiety | Anxiety |
The Patient statement is: I know no one will care but I just need to write it down somewhere. [deleted] Based on the context, the disorder may be: Expressing | Expressing |
The Patient statement is: I wish I had a friend to talk to over the phone. I’m so sick of calling up suicide hotline and I’m pretty sure they only work for SH for the volunteer hours. [deleted] Based on the context, the disorder may be: Depression | Depression |
The Patient statement is: Mania fucked everything up Hey guys,
I've been super depressed lately, even with the meds. I feel like my life is fucked.
I have bipolar type 1 and the manic phase hit me really hard to the point where I had a deep paranoid delirium, which made not go out for around 14 days and made me stalk everyone on IG like a crazy creepy fuck. I also spent days dancing in my apartment with the curtains open during this episode and yea... word got around. Very humiliating. Everyone knows in my hometown and now thinks I'm a sick voyeur when I'm not. Everytime, I go out, I get stares and people laughing at me, making comments. It's fucked up, it's been two months and nobody has gotten over it.
I have no job, I'm only going back to college in september. I am very lonely, only two guy friends and two girl friends, and one of them lives far away. I will see some of them next week but these past few weeks i've seen no one and it's really hard.
I'm thinking about killing myself Based on the context, the disorder may be: Bipolar | Bipolar |
The Patient statement is: Just started a new job and every morning before work I forcefully vomit for like 20 minuets. Does anyone know why this would be happening or have any advice on how to handle it? It's making me resent my new job and miss some days of work when i can't handle it. Based on the context, the disorder may be: Depression | Depression |
The Patient statement is: I think i need help. I've hitted my limits last night, and went on full suicidal plans and thoughts, reached out to my buddy and fiance, but i'm still suicidal. I was sitting by the window, ready to jump anytime, but i looked at the text my love sent me, pleading me not to jump, i felt even worse, he dun deserve any of this, and the biggest part that contributes to these is my family, i'm always being put down by them, and no matter how much i do, it's nvr enough for my parents while my elder brother is the baby whom doesn't know a single thing while i have to do it for him, the only thing my parents will always fight with me about is money, the food they buy and put in the fridge, they expect me to do the same when i'm just turning 23 this year, now and then telling me about how i never gave them money when i did my best, gave them during father's day/mother's day, their birthdays and thought i could give them something better last year which was gold pendants, helped to pay bills and yet all my father asked was did i even help to contribute to household usages, while my elder brother did nothing at all, given that he's 27 and still in school, while i have to scrimp and save when i dun even nid to, sometimes i just feel like having an accident or disaster fall over me so it wont looked like i committed suicide. I've been pushing my own limits over and over but this time i dont see any meaning in pushing it further, at the same time, i have a fiance here and i cant bear to let him go through all that pain with the way he reacted last night, i'm realising that maybe i dont even have a family to begin with, any1 felt like this before? Based on the context, the disorder may be: Suicide | Suicide |
The Patient statement is: The moment you realize you are the asshole in the situation This always happens to me like this. I become good friends with some one. Everything is great because they support me and i support them. The more they get to know me the more of my issues come out. Stuff happens between me and them and I come out thinking I never didnt anything wrong. Things keep piling up and eventually we have a falling out of sorts. Then when I look back at all the stuff I've done to them, I realize I have been the asshole the whole time. I do things without thinking about it run only by my emotions. Well I want to start to work on realizing the stuff I do to mess with other peoples lives and cut that behavior out of my life. I think the only way to do this is focus on myself and stop worrying about everyone else and their situations. I just really needed to vent this out. Thanks if you gave the time to read my ramblings. Based on the context, the disorder may be: Depression | Depression |
The Patient statement is: How do you know if your meds are working? [deleted] Based on the context, the disorder may be: Bipolar | Bipolar |
The Patient statement is: My Suicide Note I'm typing this out now so if any of my "Loved Ones" find this, you'll see this has been a long time coming
Time is a bitch though ain't it? 9 years since my mom passed, 8 years since my dad passed, 3 years since the love of my life died, and I still feel like it was yesterday. Time is also a bitch on age, as I'm 26 and my life is nothing more then a shield for everyone's complaints and stress, but when I tried talking to you all, I was "Overreacting" or "Stressing too much". You all have your lovely fucking lives with jobs you actually like or an education towards a better future, while I struggle in even cleaning my own house. I'm tired of fighting, I'm tired of arguing, I'm tired of feeling so defeated. Just yesterday, I had a guy answer my ad and show up to my house just to tell me at the last second that I was ugly, I wasn't his type, and it wasn't gonna work. You guys really don't know how much my life hurts just to get out of bed, how much I just wish I could be without technology so when you guys don't talk to me, it wouldn't affect me. It's not gonna affect me anymore though. I've basically seen it with my own eyes that I'm not needed by anyone anymore, and this life I'm living is essentially pointless. I hope you all have a nice life Based on the context, the disorder may be: Depression | Depression |
The Patient statement is: I'm so unhappy with where my health is at. I'm overweight. I have constant headaches and my anxiety is through the roof. I had such a bad panic attack that I thought I was having a heart attack last week. I constantly have stomach pain. I'm so exhausted I can barely function. I can't focus. I have no motivation. I'm on 60mg of prozac and 40mg of Latuda and it doesn't seem to be doing much. I switched psychiatrists and I still have two more weeks until my first appointment. No doctor has been able to find the cause for my headaches/stomach aches and I'm beginning to think it's just anxiety related and nothing will ever help. I want to be functional again. Based on the context, the disorder may be: Bipolar | Bipolar |
The Patient statement is: Everything feels like it sucks nowadays and can never compare to the past. Video games, movies , shows, life it all feels like it sucks nowadays. The only good thing I can think of is more rights for people who deserve it but everything else has become so boring or stressful. It doesn't even feel like their is a future worth fighting for. Based on the context, the disorder may be: Depression | Depression |
The Patient statement is: Does this happen to anyone else? Waking up into anxiety attacks. Recently I’ve began to experience anxiety attacks more often than not. But lately now I also wake up into anxiety attacks.
They aren’t full blown panic attacks accompanied with hyperventilating, at least they don’t become that way because I’ve been able to slowly talk myself down from the negative tunnel vision accompanied with it.
Has anyone dealt with this sort of issue? It’s really quite uncomfortable.
I don’t want to talk to my doctor about it. I’m really worried I’ll be diagnosed with an anxiety disorder now that I experience anxiety attacks so often.
Recently I went to the ER for a severe panic attack but I didn’t mention that, I just said my stomach hurt. But I was hoping that this would just pass if I can learn to cope with it.
Sorry if formatting is wonky I’m on my phone.
Based on the context, the disorder may be: Anxiety | Anxiety |
The Patient statement is: I have come up with a theory on how to overcome existential anxiety, let me know what you think Hi there,
A lot of anxiety comes from not being able to meet expectations and feeling like you're doing something wrong and therefore something bad will happen in the future. For example a presentation causes anxiety because you want it to go well and people to like you however you are scared you will stumble on your words and be laughed at.
Existential anxiety can arise from panicking wether you are doing the right thing in general, why am I here, what is my purpose, am I doing something wrong now, should I be doing something different etc.
If you aren't religious then morality is subjective (there are exceptions of course) so therefore you believe that morality (right and wrong) was created by man/society rather than a god. In this case, because life didn't come with an instruction manual, we choose to believe certain things are right or wrong because someone has told us.
So therefore if we have not been told what to do and how to act, it is entirely up to us and thus none of our actions can be wrong if we decide that.
If we accept the fact that every decision we make is right because we decided to make it in that moment, there should be reduced anxiety because you won't be thinking wether the thing you did was right or not. So laying awake at night worrying about that thing you said 5 years ago doesn't matter because the decision you made at that particular one was the best one you could do at that time.
I really want insight and criticisms of this from you guys because the thought of it has kinda changed my life in the last few days and I want to make sure it's sensible.
Thanks for reading :) Based on the context, the disorder may be: Anxiety | Anxiety |
The Patient statement is: Talking to a girl with Bipolar disorder, suddenly became cold/uninterested? Hello,
Not sure if this is right place to post this but I'm(23m) looking for some advice with a new girl(22f) I'm talking to. I met this girl and we hit things off pretty well, had deep meaningful conversations, went on a few dates all went well and she even invited me to spend the night a few days ago (nothing sexual just cuddled and went to sleep). She told me that she had bipolar disorder as well as OCD during one of these conversations, coming from someone who has had past relationships with girls who were depressed, adhd, ptsd, as well as being an RN i have an idea of what im getting in to despite no first had experience dating someone with this disorder. Whats important to me is we had what i felt was a natural strong connection to each other.
The thing is after I spent the night, we spent two days talking about how great it was and can't wait to hang out again. Now suddenly the past few days she is making excuses to not hang out and just doesn't seem interested anymore in our conversations. I know it's nothing I could of done wrong our last date went great and nothing stood out in our texts that indicates anything, just a slow gradual switch to disinterest, conversations not as deep replies taking longer ect. My question is i understand some people just lose interest for various reasons that I will never end up knowing why, so is that this case? Should I just cut my loses and move on? Or is it possible she is just in a depressive state, should I be patient and understanding, will she come back out of this eventually and show interest again? Should I just be straightforward and ask her what's going on?
I know there is no way anyone can truly know this but her but I'm just looking for thoughts and advice and whether anyone has dealt with something similar or know what she might be going through. Based on the context, the disorder may be: Bipolar | Bipolar |
The Patient statement is: I'm Boring I really don't know where else to do this, so I guess I'm here at /r/depression. Like the title says, I'm boring. I'm 19 and a music education major at college. I don't drink, I don't smoke weed, and I don't party. I very easily could partake in these things, but I never have and I never want to. It just doesn't interest me. I just feel like everyone that is close to me will eventually end up leaving me because of it.
Instead of spending Friday nights out partying it up and getting wasted like all my friends and having a good time like them, I'll be inside practicing my horn or laying in bed or playing video games. I listen to jazz and classical music, and all my friends listen to rap and other things like that. Even those that are interested in the same things as I am are so different from me.
I'm not trying to shit talk rap or partying or anything, there is some pretty decent rap music and I enjoy that. I would just much rather listen to some Benny Goodman or some Miles Davis.
I'm kind of off on a tangent here, so back to the original point of this post. I feel like everyone around me is going to leave me because I'm so boring. Even my closest friends comment on how "old" I am, and I feel like soon I'll be 100% alone.
They would very much deny that if I asked, but I know that soon enough they'll find some other guy to hang out with that will drink and smoke and party with and listen to rap and I'm just so terrified.
I don't want to be alone. Based on the context, the disorder may be: Depression | Depression |
The Patient statement is: DAE not care about New Year's? I mean, I'm not hating on people who celebrate it, it's just not my thing personally. To me it's just a new year. There will be plenty of them in the future. A lot of people will dislike 2018 in the same way they've disliked almost every year before it. Based on the context, the disorder may be: Depression | Depression |
The Patient statement is: I don't know how meditation works. My mind goes from blank to shitload of flashbacks about guilt and shame. Now, that's somethin' I can't escape. Based on the context, the disorder may be: Depression | Depression |
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